Dragon Laffs #1343


Good morning campers!
I’ve had so much fun putting this issue together that I’ve completely lost track of time.
Without any further ado….


This is great!  Very funny.  Can you imagine finding it missing when you come to work the next day, finding it missing and watching the security tapes the next morning and finding this?  I laughed!
You can’t see the video?

And while you’re there…buy us a lousy cup of coffee, will ya?

Wow.  Times are moving fast.  Saw my first Hillary for president bumper sticker today.


The OBAMA motto: We’ve got what it takes, to take what you’ve got!
The biggest thing that annoys me about the man is that he firmly advocates the cause of racism in America, yet he is the BIGGEST Racist this country has right now!  The amount of outright racist comments he has made in his capacity as president is astounding.  If a white man had uttered 1/10 of the comments he has, he would’ve been ridden out of Washington on a rail!


For those of you who are interested in the area of self-help, as in, I’m going to help myself survive after the Zombie Apocalypse, here’s a great video on starting a fire with a bottle of water.  Can’t see the video?  You gotta go to the website!  Come on campers, how many times do we have to go  over this?  You old hands over there, nudge the new guys and help them go to http://dragonlaffs.com


Irish  Wedding
At the Irish wedding reception the D.J. yelled…”Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”  The bartender was almost crushed to death.
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore ….. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs.   When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my frig’n bike.
Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week.  He didn’t take my TV, just the remote.  Now he drives by and changes the channels.  Sick bastard!
The Agony of Aging
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.  He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.  I said to him, “You better get your hearing checked – You’re supposed to turn your clock back”.
Pregnant Prostitute
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute , “do you know who the father is?”  The prostitute said, “if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart ?” 
Easy Jet
Paddy calls Easy Jet to book a flight.  The operator asked, “How many people are flying with you?”  Paddy replied “How do I know?  It’s your plane!”  



What I do at my job. 
This is a video that appeared on local TV, shows what I had been working up to all last week.  I was behind the scenes setting off explosions and smoke.  (Gads, I love my job!).  And for those of you who are trying to see, no, I don’t appear on any of the shots, either as a dragon or in my human guise.  So, run by the website and check it out.  And why not buy us a cup of coffee while you’re there?


This is great.  How do they do that?  Magician Penn & Teller show how the old cup and ball trick works.  Again, you gotta go to the website to see them.  And I need another cup of coffee.  Who’s buying my coffee this week?



I was the nurse caring for a couple’s newborn first child, a son, after his cesarean birth. Since the mother was asleep under general anesthesia we took our tiny charge directly to the newborn nursery to introduce him to his daddy. While cuddling his son for the first time, he noticed the baby’s ears conspicuously standing out from his head. He expressed his concern that some kids might call his son names like “Dumbo.” The pediatrician reassured the new dad that his son was healthy, the ears could be easily corrected later during childhood. The father still worried about his wife’s reaction to those large protruding ears. “She doesn’t take things as easily as I do,” he worried. By this time, the new mother was ready to meet her precious son. I placed the tiny bundle in his mother’s arms and eased the blanket back so that she could gaze upon her child for the first time. She took one look at her baby’s face and looked to her husband and gasped, “Oh, Honey! Look! He has your ears!”


A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two American men are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he says. The two Englishmen just stare at him. “Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” The two continue to stare. “Parlare Italiano?” No response, “Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language…. ” “Why?” says the other, “That man knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.


i bet

Not to be passed up appropriate follow on…

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously, the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, “Whenever it breaks.”


AmazonCEO Jeff Bezos is buying the Washington Post for $250
Million, which is less than 1% of his net worth. As opposed to
most Americans who use 1% of their net worth to buy a copy
of the Washington Post.

A study says that breast feeding may lower a woman’s risk of developing Alzheimer’s Disease. Especially compared to women who find themselves holding a bottle and wonder if they found the bottle or lost a baby?

Alex Rodriguez was suspended Monday for next season due to
his connection to Biogenesis Lab. He will forfeit his forty
million dollar salary next year, but he’ll collect the seventy
million left on his contract. The idea is to teach kids once
and for all that crime doesn’t pay.

The FEC reported dead people gave six hundred thousand
dollars to campaigns last year. Three fourths went to
Democrats, one-fourth to Libertarians. Once Republicans
die they’re prevented from donating to campaigns or worthy
causes by what the law calls heirs. 

Rick Perry in a speech last weekend “There are many states
that embrace those conservative values, the approach we’ve
taken over the years. I’m in one today – Florida.” Except Perry
was speaking in New Orleans. But give the Texas Governor
credit, he was close. Sort of . 

 GeorgeW. Bush went through surgery to clear out a clogged
heart artery. To which Dick Cheney said it was good to see
after all those years of mentoring how Bush is finally following
in his footsteps.

Prince William has gone back to work now that his paternity
leave is over following the birth of Prince George. The only
problem is for William to remember what it was that
he actually does? 


Beer:  “So much more than just a breakfast drink”


A blonde is in the bathroom and her husband shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?” She answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”

A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy,” she tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me”. The blonde says, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”

A blonde spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND “. He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.


I want to expound on something that my dad sent me, that I don’t think many of us have discussed much, if at all. 

I have not read of a single dollar reduction in foreign aid as a result of sequestering.

All items cut were for the express purpose of hurting the American taxpayer/working people the most!

DEMOCRATS and  Republicans? 
(‘different’ ONLY in name)
Someone please tell me what the Hell’s wrong with

All the people that run this country!

Both Democrats and Republicans

“We’re broke”
And can’t help our own

And must TAKE money from
our own hard working Department of Defense workers?

But, over the last several years THEY
have provided
direct cash
aid to…
Hamas – $351 M,

Libya     $1.45 B,

Egypt – $397 M,
Mexico – $622 M,
Russia – $380 M,
Haiti –    $1.4 B,
Jordan – $463 M,
Kenya – $816 M,
Sudan – $870 M,
Nigeria – $456 M,
Uganda – $451 M,
Congo – $359 M,
Ethiopia – $981 M,
Pakistan – $2 B,

South Africa – $566 M,
Senegal – $698 M,
Mozambique – $404 M,
Zambia – $331 M,
Kazakhstan – $304 M,
Iraq     –   $1.08 B,
Tanzania – $554 M,
…with literally
Billions of Dollars
and they
still hate us!!!!
But on the other hand, 
Our retired seniors,
Living on a ‘fixed income,’

Receive NO aid!
Nor do they get any breaks, while our government
And religious organizations will pour
Hundreds of Billions Of $$$$$$’s
and Tons of Food  to Foreign Countries!

Someone needs to explain to them that
Charity begins AT HOME!

And another atrocity….

We have Hundreds of adoptable
American Children who are shoved aside
To make room for the adoption of
Foreign orphans.
Where even if families wanted to adopt American babies,
it’s so difficult, that people who want babies and don’t have
hundreds of thousands of dollars, will choose to go overseas!

AMERICA: A country where we have
Countless Homeless without shelter,
Children going to bed hungry,
Elderly going without needed medication
and the Mentally ill without treatment – …


They will have a ‘Benefit’ Show

For the people of Haiti , on
12 TV Stations;
Ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents
clothes, bedding, doctors and medical supplies.

Now Just Imagine if
Our own
Gave ‘US’ the same support they give to foreign countries.
Sad, isn’t it?

Campers,  this isn’t going to change until we change it.  This cowardly, dishonest, lack of integrity that our government is showing us has to stop.  It’s up to us to do it.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1343

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    Charity, Common Sense, Pride in Our Country…these things have one thing in common, they ALL begin at home and with what we teach our children. We need to teach our children a couple more things however , namely Political & Fiscal Responsibility, the lessons that you cannot Pass the Fiscal Responsibility forward & those who are in Political Office who try to do so must be immediately removed from office

    • impishdragon says:

      Lethal, you just gave me a thought of why it is so easy for our government to put the burden of our over-spending on our future generations. There is a huge example of that going on in today’s society with payday loans. People think it’s alright to borrow from tomorrow to pay for today. Sometimes payday after payday after payday. Paying an exorbitant interest rate, over 100%! I’ve seen them as high as 400%! I know of what I speak since there was a time in my life that I was ON that merry-go-round and have been very close to it again. I’m sure the government pushing it’s bills off far beyond logic dictates is acceptable that has allowed government permissions for pay day loan places to even exist. Like legal loan sharks they prey on the weak. The weak that the government helped create. Yes, my friend, I agree 100%. Teaching our children fiscal responsibility is a huge necessity.

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