Leprechaun Laughs # 195 May 29th 2013


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[Sometimes you’ve just got to go with the classics and nostalgia be damned!]

GOOD MORNING BOYS AND GIRLS!

OMG! WOW! What in the heck…

DAYUM! Most of you guys look like HELL! Was there an explosion in a aerosol red paint can factory someplace I missed hearing about? Not funny? [Giggle] You sure? ‘Cause ya’ll look pretty funny from here- like a bunch reverse patterned red raccoons!

Okay! OK already! SHEESH!

Impish break out the lemon and drawn butter I MEAN the Aloe Gel and the Shea & Almond butter for these poor sunburnt lobster colored fools I MEAN suffering souls!

Now if you can keep your moans of pain and your Oohs & Aahs of relief down we’ll get on with things!

YGR_LR 3

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The Top 10 Things No Parent Said, Ever

  1. “The porn under Timmy’s bed is getting stale. We’ll need to change it.”
  2. “Son, if you want to have a great date, ask a gal who’s fast and loose like your mom.”
  3. “Sweetie, Mommy has a headache. Could you please distract me with more of that yelling and pot-banging?”
  4. “Just wait till your other mother gets home; she’s gonna bust a cap in your ass.”
  5. “These kids practically pay for themselves!”
  6. “Someday when you have kids of your own, you’ll look back and realize what a total ass I’m being now.”
  7. “The sound of a baby crying makes me feel so alive!”
  8. “If you don’t watch ‘Walking Dead’ with me, I will not take you to Chuck E. Cheese, and that’s final!”
  9. “He’s only hitting you because he hates you and thinks you’re ugly.”

#1 Thing No Parent Said, Ever…

  1. “Careful, you’ll put an eye out! But hey, that’s why you have a spare.”

 

Rolling Thunder Saluter 2013

Motorcycles drive past the Lincoln Memorial as Colin Morris, of the US Army, salutes during the annual Rolling Thunder “Ride for Freedom” parade ahead of Memorial Day in Washington, Sunday, May 26, 2013.

 

squirrel serenity

 

This lady tells our elected officials which way the wind is blowing and she hits the nail on the head!  She’s got this right!  ATTAGIRL! GIVE ‘EM HELL!!!!!!!!!!

Give this a listen. It’s short, it’s concise and it represents our feelings here at DL/LL Electronic Media Enterprises  EXACTLY.

In just over one minute she hands the NJ legislature its liberal ass so eloquently…………..

http://video-embed.nj.com/services/player/bcpid651974715001?bctid=2341389953001&bckey=AQ~~,AAAAPLMIP6E~,BRrRHTAljlF40NofMDxsColEK-8KEsxy

Texas Titty Bar

TX Titty Bar

YEAH, I KNOW what YOU people were expecting! PERVERTS!

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CYber Security Alert

One of the largest sources of malware infections is PDF files with scripts buried in them. The embedded JavaScripts have instructions to download and install various types of malware. The Adobe Reader and Adobe Acrobat are the major targets for this kind of attack. Although Adobe seems to issue an unending stream of updates, many PC users still get infected. Here is a tip to help avoid malicious PDF files.

From their antimalware products, Microsoft gathers data about the source of malware infections. The Microsoft MSDN blog has just given a list of common infected PDF files that have been detected.  If you see any of the eight files below, do not open them but delete them permanently.  

  • pdf_new[1].pdf
  • auhtjseubpazbo5[1].pdf
  • avjudtcobzimxnj2[1].pdf
  • pricelist[1].pdf
  • couple_saying_lucky[1].pdf
  • 5661f[1].pdf 7927
  • 9fbe0[1].pdf 7065
  • pdf_old[1].pdf

 

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A gourmet challenged me to eat
A tiny bit of rattlesnake meat.
Remarking, “Don’t look horror-stricken,
You’ll find it tastes a lot like chicken.”
It did.
Now chicken I cannot eat.
Because it tastes like rattlesnake meat! – Ogden Nash

 

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7 Food Swaps That Will Make You Skinny

Simple Swaps = Healthy Weight-Loss Results

You don’t have to sit out summer picnics to start slimming down. Sure, warm-season gatherings often involve gut-busting carbs in the form of starchy breads, pastas, and potato products, but you can still savor the season without causing the numbers on the scale to creep up. In fact, many of the top food swaps that will whittle down your waist are super fresh this time of year, readily available in gardens and farmers’ markets across the country during the growing season.

Lettuce Instead of Hot Dog Buns

swap the bun for lettuce for a low carb dog

 The Swap: Don’t let a starchy bun weigh down your summer cookouts! Instead, wrap your hot dogs in a nutrient-packed outer leaf of red- or green-leafed lettuce. Want extra crunch? Choose romaine.

Carbs Avoided: 19 grams

More Health Perks: Lettuce is loaded with isothiocyanate, lutein, zeaxanthin, and isoflavones, healthy compounds that protect against Alzheimer’s, lung cancer, and macular degeneration.

 

Summer Squash Instead of Hash Browns

Use summer squash in place of potatoes

The Swap: Summer squash is a readily available, affordable substitute for carb-heavy potatoes. To prep, grate summer squash (zucchini or yellow summer squash), mix in an egg as a binder, work into patties, and fry in olive oil.

Carbs Avoided: About 15 grams per hash-brown patty

More Health Perks: Summer squash is a solid source of magnesium, a mood-regulating mineral that also protects heart health and reduces disease-promoting inflammation.

Cabbage or Collard Greens Instead of Bread

use cabbage leaves instead of bread

The Swap: Summer means quick and easy sandwiches—less time in the kitchen and more time outside enjoying warm-weather activities! Avoid a post lunch energy crash by ditching your standard two slices of bread and instead wrapping your sandwich ingredients in a raw cabbage or collard-green leaf.

Carbs Avoided: 24

More Health Perks: Cabbage and collard greens promote healthy cholesterol levels. These cruciferous veggies also contain potent anticancer compounds.

 

Spaghetti Squash Instead of Pasta

spaghetti squash instead of pasta

The Swap: Switch out spaghetti for the noodle like flesh of spaghetti squash and you’ll enjoy the same consistency without the excess carbs.

Carbs Avoided: 30 grams per cup

More Health Perks: Winter squash is chock full of cancer-fighting antioxidants like alpha- and beta-carotene.

  [I don’t care what who says, its NEVER going to replace pasta for me, however it DOES work well I find in Asian stir fry dishes and lo mein’s]

Cauliflower Instead of Potatoes

use cauliflower instead of potatoes

The Swap: Potatoes are full of simple carbs that cause an unhealthy spike in blood sugar. Instead of mashed potatoes, try steaming fresh or frozen cauliflower, adding a bit of butter (the kind from cows raised on pasture is the healthiest), a bit of milk, and puree.

Carbs Avoided: 30 grams per cup

More Health Perks: Cauliflower is from the cruciferous vegetable family. People who ate just four servings of these vegetables a week slashed their risk of dying by 26 percent, according to Johns Hopkins researchers.

[I find 1 large or 2 medium potatoes done with it improves what your mouth is telling you about how that’s not mashed potatoes significantly. OK granted it’s not exactly what they have in mind but it’s a compromise I can live with- taste and still healthier than 100% potatoes. Remember for an Irishman a potato is practically manna from heaven!]

Pancakes

pancakes are delicious

The Swap: Pancakes are a breakfast staple, but if you indulge in these refined-carb patties too often, you’re likely to feel zonked by noon due to the food’s energy-crashing effects. Instead, use a mixture of whole-grain oatmeal and protein-packed cottage cheese to create your own healthy pancake mix. Mix together half a cup of old-fashioned oatmeal, a quarter cup of low-fat cottage cheese, two eggs, and a dash each of vanilla extract, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Process in a blender until smooth. Cook the mixture like a regular pancake.

Carbs Avoided: 45 grams per pancake

More Health Perks: Add a tad of 100 percent pure maple syrup (not the kind sweetened with high-fructose corn syrup), and you’ll be able to enjoy a pancake-light treat that also reduces inflammation and fights enzymes that can lead to diabetes.

 

Pizza

make pizza on a mushroom

 

The Swap: Forget that floury crust that wreaks havoc on your waistline and trade it for a nutrient-packed Portobello mushroom as a crust! [Make sure to remove the bitter gills first!]

Carbs Avoided: 20 grams per slice

[Around here we used Pita pockets for pizza crusts to make our own with great success. Remember to brush/spray them first on the toppings side with olive oil to keep them from getting soggy. Fan of stuffed crusts? While not as healthy pitas DO have pockets and this does work better for certain gourmet toppings like prosciutto or fresh/roasted garlic for instance.]

More Health Perks: Portobello mushrooms are bursting with selenium, a nutrient vital for immune-system health.

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Thank Heavens!!!

The following write up  explains so much.

“Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only  to completely forget what that purpose was?  Turns out, doors themselves are  to blame for these strange memory lapses.

Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.”

It’s not aging, it’s the door!

Whew! Thank goodness for studies  🙂

12-Time-Wasters-T

For You Friends of the TV Show “Friends”- THIS IS THE ONLY FRIENDS REUNION YOU’RE GOING TO GET, so enjoy it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWJ1QByo5OQ

 

DL Introspection Header

You may have heard on the news about a southern California man put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had (by rough estimate) 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.

My favorite quote from the dimwit television reporter: “Wow! He has about a quarter million machine gun bullets.” The headline referred to it as a “massive weapons cache!” [ 100K is a far cry from 1/4 mil by my math but hey what do I know…I’m just a Centrist money hording/counting Leprechaun! WHO KNOWS what passes for math in the largest liberal welfare state in the Union, but I digress]

By southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds would be called “mentally unstable.”

Just imagine if he lived elsewhere:

In Arizona , he’d be called “an avid gun collector.”

In Arkansas , he’d be called “a novice gun collector.”

In Utah , he’d be called “moderately well prepared,” but they’d probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food.

In West Va. and Montana , he’d be called “The neighborhood ‘Go-To’ guy.”

In Alabama , he’d be called “a likely gubernatorial candidate.”

In Georgia, he’d be called “an eligible bachelor.”

In North Carolina , Mississippi and South Carolina he would be called “a deer hunting buddy.”

And, in Texas , he’s just “Bubba”, who’s a little short on ammo.

Hell, were he in Texas he’d already gotten to the 1/4 mil round level because word would have gotten around about Bubba’s ammo ‘poverty’.

Then women would have been making crockpots of beans, Tamales, baking Corn Bread & Pies and such while men folk set to smoking a mess of Brisket & Sausage. All to raise money for Bubba’s Ammo Fund which would have been seen as the only neighborly and Christian thing to do for a fella so down on his luck!

But seriously folks, here is about the best most logically thought out and well argued 7 minutes of discussion on the issue of Gun Control that you’ll ever see. Thanks to Impish for sharing it with me!

 

Piquant Poems & Puns

There was an old man from Australia
Who painted his arse like a dahlia.
The colors were fine, Likewise the design,
The aroma, alas, was a fahlia.

There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn’t his style.
“I’ll get my workouts,” he said,
“At home, in my bed,
‘Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!”

There is something about satyriasis
That arouses psychiatrists’ biases
But we’re both very pleased
We’re in this way diseased
As the damsel who’s waiting to try us is.

There was a young German named Ringer
Who was screwing an opera singer.
Said he with a grin,
“Well, I’ve sure got it in!”
Said she, ‘You mean that ain’t your finger?”

Mary had a little skirt It was slit right up the sides
And every time she wore that skirt
The boys could see her thighs
Mary had another skirt It was slit right up the front
But she never wore that one!

There was a young girl who begat
Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat.
T’was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding
When she found there’s no tit for Tat.

Two school kids around Aberystwyth,
Made love with the lips that they kissed with,
But as they got older,
They also got bolder,
Making love with the things that they pissed with!

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OK I’ll grant you that it’s no secret I’m not a supporter, fan or even very tolerant of Obama the man, his administration or his appointed liberal lackeys & thugs.

I hope you will in return concede that I try to call things as fairly as possible (a bet from a view point somewhere between Centrist and moderately Conservative depending on the issue) and that I have a track record of actually defending Obama (as unpleasant a task as that might be for me personally) when things get too distorted or blown out of proportion

President Obama is facing multiple scandals for the first time in his presidency. (We’ll ignore some of the scandalously arrogant and ridiculous things he himself personally did in his first administration) but are these scandals really the horrendous we should talk impeachment offenses that Republicans are trying to make them out to be? How do they measure up against the scandals of the past Presidents? Let’s explore them from a historical perspective.

The IRS was found to have improperly investigated Tea Party groups. The Department of Justice is being criticized for digging into phone records of reporters with The Associated Press.

And Republican lawmakers continue to demand investigations into the administration’s response to an attack against the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya, that led to the death of Ambassador Chris Stevens.

These, however, aren’t the first scandals to hit 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., and they may not be the worst. Below, you have the chance to consider what you think are the top scandals to ever rock the White House.

1868: Andrew Johnson: Impeachment

What happened? Abraham Lincoln’s successor broke the Tenure of Office Act, which was intended to block him from firing senior government officials without the approval of Congress.

How serious was it? Although President Andrew Johnson is not regarded highly by historians today, his impeachment is largely considered a partisan affair centered on tension between the different branches of government over the path of Reconstruction in the South.

The aftermath: Not much. While Johnson was impeached by a large majority in the House of Representatives, he was acquitted in the Senate by a single vote.

1875: Grant: The Whiskey Ring

What happened? A group of whiskey distillers bribed tax officers and officials in Washington to avoid federal taxes. Some of the withheld taxes were allegedly set aside for President Ulysses S. Grant’s re-election campaign.

How serious was it? Grant himself never was suspected of direct involvement, but his private secretary was. And the taint of the scandal has dragged down Grant’s reputation for nearly 150 years.

The aftermath: There were 238 indictments and 110 convictions. Grant’s secretary was saved when the president testified on his behalf.

1921-23: Harding: Teapot Dome

What happened? A group of oil barons bribed President Warren G. Harding’s interior secretary to lease them Teapot Dome and two California oil fields at below-market rates without a competitive bidding process.

How serious was it? Secretary Albert Fall’s bribes included a no-interest loan and other gifts worth the equivalent of millions of dollars today. Until Watergate, it was considered the most serious presidential political scandal in history.

The aftermath: Fall became the first cabinet member to be convicted of a felony. One of the oil barons was fined and sentenced to a few months in prison for not cooperating with investigators.

1973: Nixon: Watergate

What happened? Members of President Richard Nixon’s administration were caught attempting to bug the Democratic National Committee’s headquarters in the Watergate office complex.

How serious was it? Some of Nixon’s closest advisors were involved in criminal activity designed to help him get re-elected. Recordings revealed Nixon’s close involvement in covering up the break-in.

The aftermath: After Congress began preparing articles of impeachment, Nixon became the only president to resign. More than 30 people pleaded guilty or were convicted of various crimes related to the scandal.

1973: Nixon: Agnew resignation

What happened? Vice President Spiro Agnew solicited bribes totaling $147,500, $17,500 of which was paid in cash while he served in the Nixon administration. The criminal activity began during his political career in Maryland.

How serious was it? Even as the Watergate scandal engulfed President Richard Nixon, Agnew was negotiating with prosecutors to avoid jail time. The simultaneous scandals rocked America’s faith in government and cost Agnew the presidency.

The aftermath: Agnew was forced to resign less than a year ahead of his boss but never served time in jail, going on to a highly profitable career in business. Future President Gerald Ford was picked as his replacement.

1986: Reagan: Iran-Contra affair

What happened? Officials in the Reagan administration sold weapons to the Islamic regime in Iran and funneled a portion of the proceeds to a rebel group in Nicaragua. Hopes that the deal would lead to the release of U.S. hostages in the Middle East didn’t pan out, though.

How serious was it? Members of the administration and the CIA broke the embargo on selling weapons to Iran and violated American policy against negotiating for the hostages. Laws designed to prevent aid to Nicaraguan rebels also were broken. 

The aftermath: Of the 14 people charged, four were convicted of felonies by a jury, seven pleaded guilty to felonies or misdemeanors, and one case was dismissed. President George W. Bush later pardoned a number of Iran-Contra figures. 

1998: Clinton: Lewinsky affair

What happened? President Bill Clinton had a sexual relationship with a White House intern and then lied about it in sworn testimony in a lawsuit on a separate matter.

How serious was it? From a legal standpoint, the case was whether Clinton perjured himself. From a political standpoint, it centered on his sexual conduct and the fact he lied under oath.

The aftermath: Clinton became only the second president to be impeached, but was acquitted in the Senate. He was found guilty of civil contempt of court, lost his law license for five years and had to pay $90,000 in legal fees.

2006-2007: Bush: U.S. attorneys

What happened? President George W. Bush’s Department of Justice dismissed nine U.S. attorneys in 2006. Although it’s common for incoming presidents to appoint all new prosecutors, the midterm dismissals were unprecedented.

How serious was it? An internal investigation found the firing process was inappropriately political and raised doubts about the integrity of the department’s decisions on prosecutions.

The aftermath: No one faced criminal charges, but there was political fallout. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and nearly every top official in the Justice Department eventually resigned. 

2007: Bush: Valerie Plame

What happened? After a former ambassador questioned President George W. Bush’s evidence for invading Iraq, a vice presidential staffer revealed to the Washington Post that the ambassador’s wife was a covert CIA agent. 

How serious was it? Blowing Plame’s cover put her past associates at risk and effectively ended that part of her career, but investigators never found any criminal wrongdoing associated with the leak.

The aftermath: Vice presidential staffer I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby was found guilty of not cooperating with investigators. President Bush later commuted his 30-month prison sentence, though he still was required to pay a $250,000 fine.

2012: Obama: Benghazi

What happened? Islamist militants attacked a U.S. consulate building in Benghazi, Libya, killing Ambassador Chris Stevens and three others and injuring 10. 

How serious was it? The Obama administration was criticized for lax security, for not calling the attack an act of terrorism and for failing to respond more quickly during the attack.

The aftermath: So far, no one has lost their job, although former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton may face further tough questions if she runs for president.

2013: Obama: IRS

What happened? The Internal Revenue Service revealed that it had targeted conservative groups applying for nonprofit status for further scrutiny, including invasive questionnaires.

How serious was it? The behavior of the IRS employees damaged the agency’s already poor reputation, though there is no evidence yet that it was done at the behest of the White House.

The aftermath: Acting IRS Commissioner Stephen Miller announced he would resign. Congressional hearings are ongoing.

2013: Obama: Associated Press phone records

What happened? After the Associated Press reported on a terrorist plot to bomb an airplane, the Obama administration reviewed work and personal phone records for a number of AP reporters to find who leaked the information.

How serious was it? Officials with the AP argued that the investigation was overly broad and hurt its First Amendment right to report the news. Congressional Republicans sided with the press.

[Seriously??!! ‘Report the news’?! I think the last time they actually managed to make that honestly and plainly happen sans spin, slant  or owners political agenda/bias was probably the late 80s! ‘Report the news’?! Seriously??!! You could at least have the integrity to portray what you do honestly, which is rake spin sensationally and dumb down the muck you gleefully rake for ratings!]

The aftermath: Attorney General Eric Holder was grilled in a congressional hearing and Obama quickly endorsed a media shield law.

While Obama’s Administration does seem to excel at multi-tasking in the scandal area, it to date appears the he’s not personally guilty of much more than ignorance of what his own administration is doing in his name and possibly excessive loyalty to his appointees (Eric Holder is a prime example- interestingly enough this list omits ‘Fast & Furious” as a scandal for whatever reason).

Are gross mismanagement and ignorance Impeachable Offenses under Constitutional law? Sadly not any more than criminal stupidity or excessive arrogance is unfortunately. The Republicans are just going to have to bide their sound bites and the rest of us stoically endure on.

Leprechaun Laffs Close 1

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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3 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 195 May 29th 2013

  1. The Whelpling says:

    The women in the video hit it dead on the head! Thank you for sharing this Lethal. Also 100k rounds is not enough to really be a threat. A man only has two hands and a reload time so there for no amount of ammo or guns make him a huge threat. What makes a person a threat with guns or ammo is their education level. Too many people have guns nower days that can’t even locate their safety or if the darn thing is loaded. If mister government man was smart he would start making EVERY high school freshman go through a gun safety course. Give a man a fish you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish you feed him for life. Give a man a gun he is a threat to all, teach a man how to use a gun and he is a law abiding citizen.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Whelpling I LOVE that twist on the old fish axiom! BRILLIANT! As we Guinness drinkers would say.

      I think I’ll take that line ‘into protective custody’ before Impish swipes it!

      Thanks for taking the time to comment!

    • impishdragon says:

      Son,
      Thank you for your comments and insightful look at today’s issue. I agree with Lethal that your last line is brilliant! You make me quite proud to be a Papa Dragon.

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