Leprechaun Laughs #180 for Wednesday February 13th 2013


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OK! Let’s simmer down folks! We’ve got a busy week ahead and a chock full issue for you besides so lets get to it shall we?

Mardi Gras, or the celebration period before the austerity of Lent begins, technically extends from January through the day before Ash Wednesday. But it is most famously celebrated in the City of New Orleans on that last day, also known as Fat Tuesday. The famous necklaces of glass beans are strung around necks as people feast on traditional recipes of gumbo, jambalaya, and Bananas Foster. Feathered masks add to the festivity, and celebrants are showered with gold doubloons.

Fat Tuesday unfortunately was yesterday. That’s right boys and girls, no more nightly sites like this:

For another whole year now.

 

That makes today for those of you who are practicing Catholics Ash Wednesday, or as we used to call it when I grew up, “What? Fish again for dinner?”

Ash Wednesday, in the calendar of Western Christianity, is the first day of Lent and occurs 46 days before Easter. It is a moveable fast, falling on a different date each year because it is dependent on the date of Easter. It can occur as early as February 4 or as late as March 10.

According to the canonical gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke; Jesus spent 40 days fasting in the desert before the beginning of his public ministry, during which he endured temptation by Satan.  Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of this 40-day liturgical period of prayer and fasting.

Ash Wednesday derives its name from the practice of placing ashes on the foreheads of adherents as a reminder and celebration of human mortality, and as a sign of mourning and repentance to God. The ashes used are typically gathered after the palms from the previous year’s Palm Sunday are burned.

This practice is common in much of Christendom, being celebrated by Catholics, Anglicans, Lutherans, Methodists, and some Baptist denominations

Here at DL/LL Enterprises this is known as the Season of the Cranky Dragon & the Why-Is-My-Sandwich-Tuna-Again? Hasn’t-Anyone-Ever-Heard-Of-Chopped-Herring-Or-Sardines? Leprechaun. The season will end on Easter with the advent of the 14 days of the Never Ending Eternal Egg Salad.

But wait! We’re not done with events for the week just yet we’re only up to Thursday!  Well its rolled around once again fellas, that day of the year we dread more than her Birthday or our Anniversary. {<[Cue menacing music]>}

The dreaded Valentine’s Day is tomorrow!

<Sipping my coffee, looking very pleased with myself while waiting for the screams and crying to subside, predominantly from the men in the room> You know it really IS the little things that make this job worthwhile, like the power to with a single announcement reduce a bunch of manly guys and a Dragons to fearful quivering mice.

Yup it’s that time again the time of year when roses go for 4 times what they will a week from now the candy aisle at the store over flows and the relationships (to say nothing of the future sex lives) of many adult males is decided for the year.

Fail and you’re in relationship Siberia on the couch if your married or kicked to the curb by an angry girlfriend in a piece of incredible lingerie she paid as much for as you should have for those roses.

Besides if things DO go to hell in a heart shaped candy box for you tomorrow you still can hold on the the hope that the half a football field (45 m) Asteroid that is supposed to be cruising by on Friday the 15th comes way closer than the 17,000 miles distant they think it will pass by at and hits you.

This concludes our week of gloom and doom briefing. Hope you’re looking forward to the rest of your week! No? Ah well at least I can give the condemned a hearty last laugh before they meet their fate!

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BReaking News Special Announcement

PSA Recall

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Lean Cuisine recalls meal that may contain glass

Published On: Feb 11 2013 12:09:05 PM CST

HOUSTON –

A Lean Cuisine meal has been recalled because it may contain glass fragments.

The recall is for Lean Cuisines Culinary Collection Mushroom Mezzaluna Ravioli with UPC 13800-58358.

The affected items have production codes of 2311587812 and 2312587812 and a “best before” date of DEC 2013.

The meals were made in November 2012 and distributed nationwide.

Three consumers have reported finding small glass fragments in their meals. No injuries have been reported.

Anyone who has the recalled item should contact Nestle Consumer Services at 866-586-9424 or email leancuisine@casupport.com for instructions as to what to do with the meals. The company may want the meal to be returned to it for examination. Customers will get a coupon for another meal.

How to change a number 1 to a number 2.

!cid_1D3C4775C1784B3AB62E3835C2B3E00F@Joysmachine 

THE OFFICIAL TEXAS SHERIFF EXAM

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn, and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff’s Department.

After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview.

The Chief Deputy said, “You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an “Attitude Suitability Test”, that you must take before you can be accepted.

We just don’t let anyone carry our badge, son.” Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, “Take this pistol and go out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit.”

“Why the rabbit?” queried the applicant.

“You pass,” said the Chief Deputy. “When can you start?”

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The Absent-Minded Preacher

I was talking to my preacher and noticed he had cut himself shaving, so I asked him about it.

He said he was concentrating on his sermon while shaving, and had nicked his chin.

I thought about that during the service.

After he was done, I stood in line to greet him after the service.

I told him that I thought about what he had said.

“And…?” he replied.

I told him next time, he should concentrate on what he was doing, and cut his sermon instead.

The Top 5 Signs It’s Snowing Too Damn Much

A massive blizzard named “Winter Storm Nemo” dumped as much as three feet of snow in parts of the Northeast U.S. over the weekend. Some of our readers are beginning to show signs of going cabin fever crazy judging from the e-mails I have been getting so this one is for them.

The Top 5 Signs It’s Snowing Too Damn Much

5> The street you live on now boasts a Black Diamond rating.
4> Your kids’ snow man and snow woman have more kids than the Duggars.
3> Shaun White and his posse rule the lawless streets.
2> You haven’t shoveled this much white stuff since your weekend with Motley Crue.

and The Number 1 Sign It’s Snowing Too Damn Much…

1> The latest module to the International Space Station is delivered using only a pair of snow shoes and a long stick

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Walt Disney’s New Film Delayed Indefinitely After Cast Objects To Script

Inside sources at Disney Studios have alerted us here at Dl/LL Electronic Media Enterprises that Walt Disney’s new film called “Jet Black”, the non-racist version of “Snow White”, has been put on hold.  All of the 7 dwarfs: Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Car Jack, Drive By, Pimp and Wog, have refused to sing “Hi-Ho”.  They also say they have no intention of “Going off to work”.

 

 

 Extra Extra

Recently our Liberal Socialist in Chief was asked if he had ever fired a gun. His reply was somewhere along the lines of:

“all the time, we frequently shoot skeet sporting clays at Camp David”

almost immediately unnamed White House sources (presumed to be someone in the Presidential Secret Service Detail) made a rather cryptic comment which roughly amounted to:

Eh…not so much as he’d have you believe he does”

This was interpreted to mean that Obama does not shoot a gun all that often at Camp David, or at least not nearly as often as he was trying to imply. We here at DL/LL Enterprises through great effort and pressure on our considerable contacts in government have learn what the mysterious naysayer was actually alluding to. The fact in dispute was in fact NOT the frequency with which the President shoots Skeet it was the fact that he was actually shooting at Sporting Clays when he did it! See here:

obama-skeet-shooting-constitution

WELL THAT makes a whole lot more sense now doesn’t it?

We here at DL/LL Enterprises are committed to continuing to uncover these truths and bring them to you as they occur.

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Optional Title: Obama goes Dick Cheney on the Constitution

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19 Ways The Government is Watching You

January 10, 2013 | http://www.mrconservative.com/2013/01/3412-19-ways-govt-watches-us/

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The following is the second installment of the 19 signs that America is being systematically transformed into a giant surveillance grid….

#11 Pre-Crime Surveillance Technology

Did you think that “pre-crime” was just something for science fiction movies?

Unfortunately, that is no longer the case. A company known as BRS Labs has developed “pre-crime surveillance cameras” that they claim can identify potential terrorists and criminals even before they strike.

Yes, this sounds like a bunch of nonsense, but some law enforcement authorities are taking this quite seriously. In fact, dozens of these ”pre-crime surveillance cameras” are being put up at major transportation hubs all over San Francisco….

In its latest project BRS Labs is to install its devices on the transport system in San Francisco, which includes buses, trams and subways.

The company says will put them in 12 stations with up to 22 cameras in each, bringing the total number to 288.

The cameras will be able to track up to 150 people at a time in real time and will gradually build up a ‘memory’ of suspicious behavior to work out what is suspicious.

#12 Mobile Backscatter Vans

Do you think that you can get away from the TSA scanners by simply refusing to fly and by avoiding all U.S. airports?

Don’t be so sure.

In fact, law enforcement authorities all over the country will soon be driving around in unmarked vans looking inside your cars and even under your clothes using the same backscatter technology currently being used by the TSA at U.S. airports….

American cops are set to join the US military in deploying American Science & Engineering’s Z Backscatter Vans, or mobile backscatter radiation x-rays. These are what TSA officials call “the amazing radioactive genital viewer,” now seen in airports around America, ionizing the private parts of children, the elderly, and you (yes you).

These pornoscannerwagons will look like regular anonymous vans, and will cruise America’s streets, indiscriminately peering through the cars (and clothes) of anyone in range of its mighty isotope-cannon. But don’t worry, it’s not a violation of privacy. As AS&E’s vice president of marketing Joe Reiss sez, “From a privacy standpoint, I’m hard-pressed to see what the concern or objection could be

#13 Automated License Plate Readers

In a previous article, I discussed a Washington Post article that detailed how automated license plate readers are now being used to track the movements of a vehicle from the time that it enters Washington D.C. to the time that it leaves….

More than 250 cameras in the District and its suburbs scan license plates in real time, helping police pinpoint stolen cars and fleeing killers. But the program quietly has expanded beyond what anyone had imagined even a few years ago.

With virtually no public debate, police agencies have begun storing the information from the cameras, building databases that document the travels of millions of vehicles.

Nowhere is that more prevalent than in the District, which has more than one plate-reader per square mile, the highest concentration in the nation. Police in the Washington suburbs have dozens of them as well, and local agencies plan to add many more in coming months, creating a comprehensive dragnet that will include all the approaches into the District.

Think this is BS? Think both the author and I are paranoid? Here’s a demonstration.  Keep this video in mind particularly the last 30 seconds of it when you get to #15 below!

 

#14 Data Mining

Private companies are almost more eager to invade your privacy than the government is.

In fact, there are a whole bunch of very large corporations that are making a fortune by gathering every shred of information about you that they possibly can and selling that information for profit. It is called “data mining“, and it is an industry that has absolutely exploded in recent years.

One of the largest data mining companies is known as Acxiom. That firm has actually compiled information on more than 190 million people in the United States alone….

The company fits into a category called database marketing. It started in 1969 as an outfit called Demographics Inc., using phone books and other notably low-tech tools, as well as one computer, to amass information on voters and consumers for direct marketing. Almost 40 years later, Acxiom has detailed entries for more than 190 million people and 126 million households in the U.S., and about 500 million active consumers worldwide. More than 23,000 servers in Conway, just north of Little Rock, collect and analyze more than 50 trillion data ‘transactions’ a year.

#15 The Growing Use Of Facial Recognition Technology

Most Americans do not realize this, but the use of facial recognition technology has absolutely exploded in recent years.

For example, did you know that there are now 32 states that use some type of facial recognition technology for DMV photos?

That is why they give you such strict instructions when you get your DMV photo taken. They want your photo to be able to work with the database.

But the government is not the only one using creepy facial recognition technology. The following is from a recent article by Naomi Wolf….

A software engineer in my Facebook community wrote recently about his outrage that when he visited Disneyland, and went on a ride, the theme park offered him the photo of himself and his girlfriend to buy – with his credit card information already linked to it. He noted that he had never entered his name or information into anything at the theme park, or indicated that he wanted a photo, or alerted the humans at the ride to who he and his girlfriend were – so, he said, based on his professional experience, the system had to be using facial recognition technology. He had never signed an agreement allowing them to do so, and he declared that this use was illegal. He also claimed that Disney had recently shared data from facial-recognition technology with the United States military.

Yes, I know: it sounds like a paranoid rant.

Except that it turned out to be true. News21, supported by the Carnegie and Knight foundations, reports that Disney sites are indeed controlled by face-recognition technology, that the military is interested in the technology, and that the face-recognition contractor, Identix, has contracts with the US government – for technology that identifies individuals in a crowd.

#16 Rapid DNA Testing

But what law enforcement authorities like even better than facial recognition technology is DNA testing.

The following is from a recent article by Ellen Messmer….

It’s been the FBI’s dream for years — to do near-instant DNA analysis using mobile equipment in the field — and now “Rapid DNA” gear is finally here.

The idea is that you simply drop into the system a cotton swab with a person’s saliva, for example, and the “Rapid DNA” machine spits out the type of DNA data that’s needed to pin down identity. Now that such equipment exists, the FBI is pushing to get it into the hands of law enforcement agencies as soon as possible.

#17 The FBI’s Next Generation Identification System

It was recently announced that the FBI is spending a billion dollars to develop a “Next Generation Identification System” that will combine the most advanced biometric identification technologies to create a database superior to anything that law enforcement in the United States has ever had before….

The US Federal Bureau of Investigation has begun rolling out its new $1 billion biometric Next Generation Identification (NGI) system. In essence, NGI is a nationwide database of mugshots, iris scans, DNA records, voice samples, and other biometrics, that will help the FBI identify and catch criminals — but it is how this biometric data is captured, through a nationwide network of cameras and photo databases, that is raising the eyebrows of privacy advocates.

Until now, the FBI relied on IAFIS, a national fingerprint database that has long been due an overhaul. Over the last few months, the FBI has been pilot testing a facial recognition system — and soon, detectives will also be able to search the system for other biometrics such as DNA records and iris scans.

#18 The NYPD’s Domain Awareness System

Local law enforcement agencies around the country are also spending big bucks to upgrade their surveillance capabilities. The new “Domain Awareness System” that the NYPD just put in was described in a recent article by Neal Ungerleider….

The New York Police Department is embracing online surveillance in a wide-eyed way. Representatives from Microsoft and the NYPD announced the launch of their new Domain Awareness System (DAS) at a lower Manhattan press conference today. Using DAS, police are able to monitor thousands of CCTV cameras around the five boroughs, scan license plates, find out the kind of radiation cars are emitting, and extrapolate info on criminal and terrorism suspects from dozens of criminal databases … all in near-real time.

But don’t think that you are getting off the hook if you don’t live in New York City. The truth is that Microsoft has big plans for putting in these kinds of systems nationwide.

#19 Trapwire

Did you know that a huge network of incredibly advanced spy cameras is currently being installed nationwide?

Yes, I know that it sounds like something off of a television show, but this is actually true. It is called “Trapwire”, and I described this emerging system in one of my recent articles….

“You are being watched. The government has a secret system – a machine – that spies on you every hour of every day.” That is how each episode of “Person of Interest” on CBS begins. Most Americans that have watched the show just assume that such a surveillance network is completely fictional and that the government would never watch us like that. Sadly, most Americans are wrong. Shocking new details have emerged this week which prove that a creepy nationwide network of spy cameras is being rolled out across the United States. Reportedly, these new spy cameras are “more accurate than modern facial recognition technology”, and every few seconds they send back data from cities and major landmarks all over the United States to a centralized processing center where it is analyzed. The authorities believe that the world has become such a dangerous place that the only way to keep us all safe is to watch what everyone does all the time. But the truth is that instead of “saving America”, all of these repressive surveillance technologies are slowly killing our liberties and our freedoms. America is being transformed into an Orwellian prison camp right in front of our eyes, and very few people are even objecting to it.

An RT article was one of the first news sources to reveal some of the shocking details about this new program….

Former senior intelligence officials have created a detailed surveillance system more accurate than modern facial recognition technology — and have installed it across the US under the radar of most Americans, according to emails hacked by Anonymous.

Every few seconds, data picked up at surveillance points in major cities and landmarks across the United States are recorded digitally on the spot, then encrypted and instantaneously delivered to a fortified central database center at an undisclosed location to be aggregated with other intelligence. It’s part of a program called TrapWire and it’s the brainchild of the Abraxas, a Northern Virginia company staffed with elite from America’s intelligence community. The employee roster at Arbaxas reads like a who’s who of agents once with the Pentagon, CIA and other government entities according to their public LinkedIn profiles, and the corporation’s ties are assumed to go deeper than even documented.

So after reading all of the information above, is there anyone out there that still doubts that America is being transformed into a giant surveillance grid?

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Apparently they even make Valentine’s Day Cookies for you to send to your Ex!

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How much you want to be that chocolate frosting is liberally laced with Ex-Lax?

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This blond got married on Ash Wednesday. On the first day of their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, “Because it’s Lent.” Almost in tears, she remarked, “Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend it to and for how long?”

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A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. They go to an
undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that it’ll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150.
The guy says, “We’ll ship her home.”
The undertaker asks, “Are you sure? That’s an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here.”
The guy says, “Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t
take that chance.”

Mail

Ok I’m going to do something unusual (for me) and do this one anonymously as when I pointed something out that was readily apparent to me about the event brought to our attention in the e-mail the sender was totally embarrassed that they missed something so obvious.

Hey anyone can have an off day. Impish has them all the time, heck he is even generous enough to have most of my share for me too!

Since the entire affair the exchange is about is just to good to pass up I’m posting it sans mention of whom sent it.

From: Nobody we’re mentioning
Sent: Wednesday, February 06, 2013 11:38 AM
Subject: Check out ‘Lincoln’ Historically Inaccurate? Congressman Joe Courtney Finds

Click here: ‘Lincoln’ Historically Inaccurate? Congressman Joe Courtney Finds Big Error in Film

Is this all CT’s congressman have to do? the state is sinking, the country is sinking and this idiot is watching movies. Want to know how I’d have voted? let me say this, they’re be no welfare, wouldn’t need it-they’d still be working.

In a message dated 2/6/2013 2:42:47 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, blarneyworks@gmail.com writes:

I think you missed the larger point here.

This is a politician complaining about TRUTH and ACCURACY of FACTS!

Aside from the hubris, hypocrisy and sheer BALLS required to do this straight faced, one has to wonder how he recognized those 3 items in the first place- given that politicians are chronically adverse to and  religiously avoid all 3 unless cornered incontrovertibly with them!

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We’ve got Gay Pride Day, LGBT Pride Day, Black Pride Day, Atheist Pride Day, White Pride Day (I think that one is a High Holiday for the Klan), Feminist Pride Day, Ypsilanti PRIDE- People Restoring Image and Developing the Environment  [don’t ask I have NO idea], Middle Name Pride Day & Pagan Pride Day. Well I think its time we have a pride day for the ‘norms’! I say…

LET’S CELEBRATE…. image

we could do it in place of Valentine’s Day for a win/win for both sexes!

THIS

!cid_1_2183162184@web184806_mail_gq1_yahoo

!cid_2_2183162185@web184806_mail_gq1_yahoo

PLUS THIS

!cid_1_2183162184@web184806_mail_gq1_yahoo

!cid_3_2183162185@web184806_mail_gq1_yahoo  and/or !cid_4_2183162185@web184806_mail_gq1_yahoo

AND ADDING THIS

!cid_1_2183162184@web184806_mail_gq1_yahoo

!cid_5_2183162185@web184806_mail_gq1_yahoo

EQUALS :

COMPLETE HAPPINESS ! !

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If you received this by mistake, let me know, and please accept my SINCERE APOLOGIES…

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The Top 5 Valentine’s Day Romance Tips

5> Phrases to avoid at dinner: “fully tax-deductible”;
“violation of my parole”; “by decree of Lord Satan”;
and “unpaid humor-list contributor.”

4> If there’s any chance whatsoever she might sleep with you,
do the safe thing — get rid of those “Star Wars” sheets.

3> When role-playing, do not suggest that she be the hot chick
at work.

2> Start your date as late as possible to lessen the odds your
true self will accidentally surface.

and The Number 1 Valentine’s Day Romance Tip…

1> Your choice of gift tells a woman what you think about her.
Roses, for example, say, “No chocolate for you, tubby!”

[ Copyright 2013 by Chris White/HumorLabs.com ]

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Seems our Crown Queen of puns Diaman is branching out into less than virtuous verses! Here’s a few of her first attempt.

There was a young girl named O’Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers
But her hair and her bush didn’t tally.

CELTICBORDER

An elderly man was depressed
His sex life was over, he guessed
Then two girls in their teens
Made him cream in his jeans
As he fondled each tender young breast

CELTICBORDER

Your job this week hasn’t borne fruit?
Use this modern technique to earn loot:
Pick a rich guy who’s famous,
Allege something heinous,
And file a ten-million-buck suit.

CELTICBORDER

There once was a stranger to Leeds,
Who ate a whole packet of seeds,
Within the next hour,
His dick was a flower,
And his balls were all covered in weeds.

CELTICBORDER

There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,”I’ve now rammed it in!”
She said, “You mean that isn’t your finger?”

CELTICBORDER

A shiftless young fellow of Kent
Had his wife screw the landlord for rent.
But as she grew older,
The landlord grew colder,
And now they live out in a tent.

CELTICBORDER

When I was young and in my prime
I used to jack off all the time.
Now I’m older with more sense
I use a knot hole in the fence.

CELTICBORDER

There was a young man named Crockett
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
His wife was a bitch,
She just threw the switch,
And Crockett went off like a rocket

 

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You're Doing It Right

Ok, FAIR WARNING GIVEN! This next video is a bit of a heart breaker. Nobody likes to see animal suffer or in distress, and if you do please let Impish or I know where your sorry butt resides. One of us will be along directly to put you out of humanity’s suffering painfully and permanently.

However in this video I found something that has been entirely lacking in our news for quite some time…Hope. Hope that all is not lost and that not all our youth a Rap playing, mobile sound system blaring at 2 AM anti everything their parents stand for or ever taught them for the sheer sake of rebellion soon to be liberal entitlement teat sucking Democrats.

I found a few teens who saw a problem, refused to accept it or to give up and wound up put a lot of their time and effort into helping a single cat solely because nobody else would or could.

 

Where does my hope come form? As I have said several times before here while I may not hold the Catholic Church in particularly high esteem, there are several Catholic figures whose teaching I do hold in high regard. One of those is St Francis of Assisi who said:

“If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.”

While there ate teens in our next generation of leaders who seem to instinctively under this then all cannot be lost. We need to give that mindset and those kids a fighting chance by preventing the liberals from brainwashing them in Politically Correct Conformity through their education.

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“A gun is like a parachute…If you ever need one and don’t have one, you’ll probably never need one again!”

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If I worked in a Restaurant on Valentine’s Day I’s put a fake Engagement Ring in every girl’s drink!

 My Doctor told me to start killing people. Well, not in those exact words.  He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. From where I sit that’s the same thing.

Here’s one for the NE readers who experienced Winter Storm ‘Nemo’-

A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy conditions should take:

– Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag

– Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves

– 24 hours supply of food and drink

– De-icer

– 5 kgs of rock salt

– Torch or lantern with spare batteries

– Road flares and reflective triangles

– Tow rope

– 5 gallon petrol can

– First aid kit

– Jump leads

I felt like a complete idiot on the bus this morning.

 

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Out of all the things I had in the possible Parting Shot file this week this seemed the most important. We had a problem with infected sends from a reader last week for a second time. Unfortunately that same uncooperative individual was more interested in picking a fight than fixing his chronic problem forcing us to regretfully take drastic steps to protect both ourselves and our readers.

CYber Security Alert

Is this message for real?

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If you saw this message when you were surfing today, take note. It’s not a scam, but a notice from Microsoft itself that your computer was a “zombie.” What does that mean?

Hackers and scammers use computer networks called “botnets” to more effectively spread viruses. Often, they’ll infect multiple computers with software that lets them send out spam emails filled with viruses.

Your computer may be a part of one and not even know it! This sort of software acts silently to send out hundreds or even thousands of messages per day. This type of scam is one of the most profitable for hackers. This botnet alone made millions for scammers every year!

Every now and then, these are taken offline. This is what happened in this case – Microsoft took the computers controlling the “zombie” computers offline. However, the virus could still be infecting your machine.

You’ll need to run anti viral  anti malware scans to sniff out and snuff out any leftovers of the virus you still have on your machine.

Make sure you keep updated security software installed on your computer to prevent this from happening again.

Finally if you get a curt e-mail from Impish or myself (if its curt its likely from me) saying you have been hacked or have a virus heed our warning. DO NOT come back at us with attitude or hip deep in denial. One of us has forgotten more about malware and viruses, cyber security and hacking in general than most of you will ever know or want to know. For that matter the other one of us is no slouch in this department either.

One heads up from us should be enough from where we sit. If it happens again, I’m apt to get down right pointed about the issue since you infected people sending to us represents a threat, not only to our systems, but to all the systems of the readers who write us and to whom we respond. We find this totally unacceptable.

In this day and age of so many good free and extremely easy to use proactive Anti-virus & Anti- malware programs along with the number of articles out  is (to say nothing about the number of times I have mentioned it here) there literally no acceptable reason for us receiving virused or malware ridden messages or for us getting spam messages to dangerous sites from your hacked e-mail account.

None. At. All.

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Impish has been forced into giving up his harem of virgins for Lent so I thought a last parting look for him was the least I could do for the poor guy! I’m sure none of the rest of our male readership is objecting too strenuously either since there is a good chance that after Valentine’s Day tomorrow this is the last time until July they’ll see a woman with this little clothing on.

My personal thanks to my Administrative Assistant Friday and her little sister Wednesday (blonde) who is the Receptionist in our Main Lobby for posing for the photo.

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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7 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs #180 for Wednesday February 13th 2013

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  3. Tanja says:

    I hardly comment, but I read a few of the comments on Leprechaun Laughs #180 for Wednesday February 13th
    2013 | Dragon Laffs. I actually do have a couple of questions for you if it’s okay. Is it only me or do a few of the remarks come across like they are coming from brain dead people? 😛 And, if you are writing on additional social sites, I’d like to keep
    up with anything new you have to post. Would you post a list of all of all your social community sites like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      1.) Since the only comments were one from a long time reader Thanking me for using her “poetry” (refering to the Limmericks) as well as for my recipes and a response from myself to her in neither of which could I detect any “brain dead comments” I’m going to go with the one with the ‘drain bramage’ being you Mz. Spammer.

      2.) Anyone who reads me knows I do not hold or cotton to Social Media in ANY form because its a breeding ground/ vector for viruses & maleware distribution. Additionally why would I honor such a request from a Spammer? Go WORK for your list of potential spamming sites you cyber-entitlement minded lazy liberal occupier!

      • impishdragon says:

        Can we have a round of applause for another well done burn of the insipid spammers who we seem to attract like moths to a candle or mud to a clean carpet or… well, you get the idea. Well done, sir! Well done!

  4. Diaman...the #1 Dragonette says:

    Thanks, Lethal, for using my “poetry”…it was a big surprise. I love your recipes…really great.
    Diaman

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Thanks for the kind words Diaman!

      We Irish actually invented the Limerick and I have always loved them from my first hearing of “There Once Was a Man from Nantucket”.

      Also really nice to hear someone appreciates the recipes as its about my least commented upon feature and I really do enjoy cooking as does Impish.
      In fact most nights of the week its Impish and I you’ll find slaving over the hot stove in our houses, not Mrs Dragon or Molly.

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