Dragon Laffs #1308


Dragon Laffs
Good Morning Campers!  As promised, it is I, the one and only, Impish Dragon, coming to you on a Wednesday, to try and pay back, in some small way, the efforts and support that our dear friend Lethal Leprechaun has made on my behalf since this whole knee thing started up.  He has been there for me so many times and in so many ways, that I could post both sides of this e-zine until June and still not pay it all back.
And speaking of my knee.  I went to my first full Physical Therapy appointment yesterday.  I walked in on a cane instead of the walker.  My therapist was shocked.  Once we got going with the exercises and stuff, he told me that he had me doing stuff that normally isn’t done until like the 3rd or 4th week post surgery…not a week and a day, like it was.
At the end of the session, I was walking without cane or walker, although he told me, ordered me, made me promise and then enlisted Mrs. Dragon’s help and support that I would use the cane at all times, unless I had spotters and what-not helping me.
Anyway, long story short, I’m doing really well.
and now……

LetsLaughLOL

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Even guys get got with blonde jokes…

A blonde guy goes to the big football game, he has great seats on the 50 yard line, 8 rows up, perfect.

Just before kickoff he hears someone behind him yelling, “Arnold, we’re up here, Arnold!”

He turns around and misses the kickoff!

A short while later, just as the quarterback throws a long bomb, the same guy starts yelling, “Hey Arnold, we’re up here, Arnold!!”

Again he turns around and again he misses the play

This goes on for every big play. He hears the guy shouting, “Hey Arnold, look up here!” He turns around and misses the play.

Finally, fuming mad, he turns around, pulls out his binoculars and scans the crowd for the guy doing all the yelling. He eventually spots him, after missing yet another big play. He Cow quackruns up the stands, nearly to the top of the stadium. Pulls the guy out into the aisle, picks him up by the lapels and shouts, “Shut-up, my name isn’t Arnold!!”


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Dragon PicDragonPapa1 (208)
Okay, remember that guy blonde joke from earlier?  Well…. he may have had a brother…

A doctor in Duluth, Minnesota wanted to get off work and go hunting.

He approached his assistant, Ole, and said, “Ole, I am going hunting tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic.. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.”

“Yes, sir!” answers Ole.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So, Ole, How was your day?”

Ole told him that he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”

“Bravo, mate, and the second one?” asks the doctor.

“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Maalox, sir,” says Ole.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this, and what about the third one?” asks the Doctor.

“Well, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a beautiful woman comes into the office.

Like a flame, she undresses herself, TAKING OFF EVERYTHING INCLUDING HER PANTIES AND LIES DOWN ON THE TABLE AND SHOUTS: ‘HELP ME – I haven’t seen a man in over two years!!”

“Oh my God, Ole, what did you do?” asks the doctor.

Ole answered excitedly, “I PUT DROPS IN HER EYES!!”

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As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

“Hi sweetheart. It’s Eric. I’m on the train.”
“Yes, I know it’s the six-thirty and not the four-thirty, but I had a long meeting.”
“No, honey, not with that blond from the accounts office. It was with the boss.”
“No, sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life.”
“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart.”
Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly.
When the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone,

“Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”
Eric doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer.

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Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me.”
“But grandpa, I really don’t like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?”
“You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.”
“Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. “Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘times up’ “?


coollogo_com-170261913a142

a144And the great part about this picture is that it does look just like Madonna.

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BeingNo kidding.  And yet ANOTHER thing that we LET happen.

Paid
porn

 

“New Pledge of Allegiance”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

 

 

If scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.    

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene..

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

 

 

For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all..

In silence alone we must meditate,

God’s name is prohibited by the state.

 

 

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks…

They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.

It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong,

We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong..

 

 

We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles   ..    

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,    

No word of God must reach this crowd.

 

 

It’s scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen


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14Yup, it’s definitely one of those days…

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Death Coffee
337J

coollogo_com-158131209Well, campers.  This set of “Story Telling Pictures” is a little different than the last Cool3ones that we ran.  Thanks to my way-cool Dad for sending me this email.  Here…WE…GO!!

How to Make a Baby
Canadian photographer Patrice Laroche surely will have no trouble explaining to his kids about the birds and the bees.
 
During his wife Sandra Denis’ pregnancy, the artist created this hilarious explanatoryphoto series titled “How to Make a Baby.”

The creative couple planned and carried out their project throughout the wholeperiod of 9 months, taking pictures in the exact same settingsas Sandra’s belly expanded.

1d1
1d2
1d3
1d4
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1d7Very nicely done, guys.

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Last Word4Today’s Last Word comes to us from our dear friend Lethal Leprechaun who, although he was very appreciative of me taking his Wednesday so that I could pay back some of his hard work, still wanted to put this Parting Shot in.  Well, it was so good, and so well put together, that I felt it would do very well highlighted as today’s Last Word.  So, here we go….

 

Disruptions: Smart Guns Can’t Kill in the Wrong Hands

By NICK BILTON January 6, 2013, 11:00 am

http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/06/disruptions-smart-gun-technology-could-prevent-massacres-like-newtown/

My comments on this article & issue as well as my closing thoughts appear in green. Some of them for clarity sake are interspersed through out the article.

11Justin Lane/European Pressphoto Agency – A police officer at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Dec. 15.

Gun owners and advocates are fond of saying, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.”

This might be a more useful aphorism: Smart-guns don’t kill the wrong people.

Technology exists, or could exist, that would make guns safer. The idea of a safe gun might seem to be the ultimate oxymoron: guns are designed to kill. But something missing from the gun-control debate that has followed the killing of 20 children and six adults at an elementary school in Newtown, Conn., is the role of technology in preventing or at least limiting gun deaths.

Biometrics and grip pattern detection can sense the registered owner of a gun and allow only that person to fire it. For example, the iGun, made by Mossberg Group, cannot be fired unless its owner is wearing a ring with a chip that activates the gun.[There are in fact more than a few Police forces that already use this technology to protect their officers in the event they lose control of their gun]

But you would be hard pressed to find this technology on many weapons sold in stores. “The gun industry has no interest in making smart-guns. There is no incentive for them,” said Robert J. Spitzer, a professor of political science at SUNY Cortland and the author of four books on gun policy. “There is also no appetite by the government to press ahead with any kind of regulation requiring smart-guns.”[Well of COURSE the Liberals & Democrats don’t want smarter guns! DUH! That might undermine their already shaky “Guns bad – no guns good. You can trust us! We’re the Big Brother Government who is stealing your rights and privacy nearly as fast as you money! We know what’s best for you better than you do! Besides what could possibly happen to you if you couldn’t protect yourself?” Anti gun arguments]

Why can we open our front doors with our iPhones and have cars that drive themselves, but we can’t make a gun that doesn’t fire unless its registered owner is using it?

“We can,” Dr. Spitzer said. “These safety options exist today. This is not Buck Rogers type of stuff.” But gun advocates are staunchly against these technologies, partly because so many guns are bought not in gun shops, but in private sales. “Many guns are bought and sold on the secondary market without background checks, and that kind of sale would be inhibited with fingerprinting-safety technologies in guns,” he said.[See? Already this technology kills 3 birds with one stone. It forces gun owners to have a register firearms dealer broker any gun deal so there will be a record, a paper trail and the safety device can be reset. It also makes it harder for criminals to deal in black market weapons and stealing guns during a burglary becomes pointless.]

I called several major gun makers and the National Rifle Association. No one thinks a smart-gun will stop a determined killer. But I thought Smith & Wesson and Remington, for instance, would want to discuss how technology might help reduce accidental shootings, which killed 600 people and injured more than 14,000 in the United States in 2010. The gunmakers did not respond, and neither did the N.R.A.

A Wired magazine article from 2002 gives a glimpse of the N.R.A.’s thinking. “Mere mention of ‘smart-gun’ technology elicited sneers and snickers faster than a speeding bullet,” the magazine wrote. It quoted the N.R.A.’s executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, as saying, “Tragic victims couldn’t have been saved by trigger locks or magazine bans or ‘smart-gun’ technology, or some new government commission running our firearms companies.” [I think that attitude is tragically short sighted, narrow minded and extremely hubris on the part of Mr. LaPierre & the N.R.A. It’s clear even to me that this issue is not going to go away by stonewalling any progressive change to the issue of gun control. The N. R. A. needs to be a part of the discussion and on board with finding and advocating the most effect but least rights infringing solutions possible. They can no longer afford the be the Mountain all the Anti-Gun Mohammads must climb, if they continue this route, as well intentioned as they may be with it, inevitably they are going to become seen as part of the problem and not part of the solution. IN a very short time they will go from being seen as the defender or our gun rights to the impediment to our keeping them and toxic to be associated with.]

After the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown in December, Mr. LaPierre created a new aphorism: “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” He said violent video games and movies were part of the problem, but he didn’t mention smart-guns as a solution.

TriggerSmart, an Irish company, has patented a childproof smart-gun. One feature is a “safe zone” that can be installed in schools and acts as a force field, disabling any TriggerSmart gun that enters a designated area. Robert McNamara, the company’s founder, has been trying to persuade gun makers to adopt the technology. He isn’t having much luck. “One gun manufacturer told us if we put this technology in one particular gun and some kid gets shot with another gun, then they will have to put them in all guns,” he said.

“We believe we could have helped prevent the Newtown massacre.”

Let’s not even discuss how this would be a far better solution than arming teachers like they were flight crews. Let us not even discuss how properly equipped guns could automatically trigger the lock down of a school at the approach of an armed individual and automatically alert the police on top of disabling the gun.

Is this sort of approach sort of a slippery slope? Possibly. I can see other places wanting demanding disabling devices thereby effectively interfering with you right to carry in public. Then again I have to ask how that’s any different then ‘gun free zones’ now. To me the obvious difference is that ALL guns would be excluded from the area not just lawfully carried ones.

In my opinion the adage “when guns are outlawed only outlaws will have guns” is a truism and self evident in its truthfulness. This sort of technology, both electronically controlled exclusionary zones and smart guns can keep that fact from coming true while at the same time making ownership of guns safer by preventing accidental deaths and shootings. So I have to ask, why weren’t Biden and his blue ribbon panel all over this? Why aren’t the gun manufacturers or the NRA supporting this?

The answer folks is simple, the ONLY best interest this sort of technology is in the interest of is WE THE PEOPLE and we ALL know how much of a damn Politicians Political Lobbies and Big Business give about what’s good for us! The ONLY way were going to see this sort of positive, Political and Second Amendment neutral step towards gun control taken is if WE THE PEOPLE force the government and Big Business to take it.

Guns have become a very difficult topic for many of us…for me, it is important at home, at work (my day job) and here at the offices of DL&LL Electronic Media, LLP.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, all of us, like most of the American population, is for an armed civilian populace with minimal government control.  You might say we are Pro-Second Amendment.
Many good arguments have been brought up in these pages.  Everything from stronger background checks (to include those of your immediate family, to also include mental or psychological testing) to biometrics on the weapons themselves, so they can only be used by their owners, to an outright mandate that ALL citizens of the United States be armed or pay a “protection tax” (gun opt out fee, higher police protection fee, whatever you want to call it.) to even arming teachers and school employees to protect our children.
Some of these ideas were better received than others, as you can well imagine, but none of us, let me repeat that, NONE OF US advocate the removal of guns from the honest citizens of our country.
I know there is a very vocal minority out there who are screaming to get rid of our guns, so that only the bad guys will have guns.  and the leader of that pack is our own government.  Obama has said that we should lose our guns, but has made arrangements for his own children’s protection by an ARMED Secret Service even AFTER he is out of office.
So, the leader of this movement wants to take our guns while he gets to keep his own.  Yup, that’s the normal Socialist way.  Everyone is equal, it’s just some of us are a little more equal than others.
This is a subject that needs  to be addressed by the government, the gun lobbies, the manufacturers, the ACLU, the gun sellers, and the American People.  EVERYBODY needs to have a seat at the table and it’s up to US, the ones that all these organizations are SUPPOSED to be working for, to make sure it happens.  To hold their feet to the fire.  To talk it up in our local communities.
These wanna be demigods who believe they rule US, instead of working at our pleasure, need to understand that we are not going to put up with their bullshit on this (and many other subjects, but this one in particular).
Let them know that they can have my gun…
when you pry 

Cheers,

ID20

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8 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1308

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    Spammers! They’ll suck up shamelessly to get their 3 nanoseconds of free advertizing at your expense. Fortunately this blog is protected by the Shamrock Spam Stopper & Surgical Removal Tool.

  2. Erik says:

    Can I just say what a relief to find somebody
    who really understands what they’re talking about online. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people have to look at this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you are not more popular given that you certainly possess the gift.

  3. shelly-saucier says:

    Appreciating the hard work you put into your blog and in depth information you provide.
    It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed
    material. Excellent read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m adding
    your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Thanks for the kind words Shelly, sorry your spam got edited out but as you would say in Deutschland-
      “Das ist hier verboten”

  4. lethalleprechaun says:

    I recognize that fact Howard, becasue as I said (quoting me)-

    “Is this sort of approach sort of a slippery slope? Possibly. I can see other places wanting demanding disabling devices thereby effectively interfering with you right to carry in public. Then again I have to ask how that’s any different then ‘gun free zones’ now. To me the obvious difference is that ALL guns would be excluded from the area not just lawfully carried ones”

    Seems to me though there is another aspect of this you’re not seeing. If ALL GUNS and I DO mean EVERY LAST ONE THAT CAN BE SO MODIFIED including Police and Military have to have the Smart Gun modification, then large scale/ long range disablers become a two edged sword, True our guns no longer work but then again neither do theirs! Personally one on one knives and hatchets in close quarters combat I like my chances better! (RELAX LIBERALS! I’m making a point by making a JOKE! SHEEESH!)

    The bottom line problem with this problem is that there is no good single fits all solution. If there WAS then we’d not be having this current discussion the problem would have been solved LONG ago. Paraphrasing an adage from the advent of nuclear weapons, ‘once you let the genie out of the bottle, its impossible to get him back in there again’. The firearms gene started getting let out of the bottle all the way back in the 14th century. Samuel Colt removed more of the stopper when he invented the first dependable repeating firearms and a whole hoard of gun makers have been shipping away at not only the remaining stopper but the mouth of the bottle as well until now the ginormious genie has but one foot left in the bottle. We’re never going to get him back in so we have to do our best to find ways to control access to the genie and make sure that last ffot doesn’t get totally out of the bottle. Our task is simply to find the combination of approaches that proves most effective while simultaneously being least odious with regards to our Second Amendment rights

    No single solution or approach will accomplish that. This is going to require multiple avenues and approaches on multiple levels and even then I doubt that 0 gun deaths 0 murders with firearms and 0 incident such as Newtown will ever be truly achieved. JFK understood this fact perhaps most clearly of anyone when he said that it was impossibly to defend against a determined assassin if he is willing to give his life to end yours. I fear the same is true of those who would use firearms against other people in non war scenarios.

    Now SOME of you might think that becasue of my background I’m just a Constitutional zealot, Gun nut and my persecutions have been colored by living in the heart of Rednecksilvania lo these last 13 years. I’d like to point out that as recently as yesterday there has been violence, gun based violence, close to me. THE LONE STAR COLLEGE SHOOTING took place less than 5 miles away from me.

    This is the college that both Molly and I go to to take proctored exams for the on line courses we take. We spend time there for certain labs and to avail ourselves of their Resource Center. This college has one of the largest Campus Police Forces I have seen in many years, especially in light of the fact it s a non residential college. Despite this a shooting occurred. True it was NOT a mad man runs amuck scenario like Newtown, the incident was a personal disagreement largely confined between two individuals. Still a bystander got hut and not all the rounds fired hit their intended targets. Lastly and most importantly it COULD have just as easily been another Newtown style incident.

    Last Monday the WalMart 2 miles up the road from me had it’s bank inside robbed, at gun point. Shots were fired outside. Last Wednesday there were a string of armed home invasions/burglaries in the next subdivision over from us. Friday here in the complex where Molly and I live there was a team of 3 pairs looking to commit break ins. I know this because I blew the whistle on them after a pair came to my door under false pretenses and acting strangely. Thankfully when I questioned the one at my door about his real motives for being in the complex he hurriedly left and I was able to alert the Property Managers who in turn found that there were more than just the 2 at my door and the Sheriffs Deputies were able to grab them all before they successfully broke in anyplace.

    Does any of this make me want to ban gun ownership? Quite the opposite, it makes me want to be able to protect myself my beloved Molly and my property even that much more. That protection requires that I be able to purchase own and carry a firearm. The fact that my government wants to deny me the right and ability to provide myself with such a basic human right while yet being obviously unable to provide it for me means that such protection clearly should extend to the class of weapons they have deemed/termed Assault Weapons so that I can be armed to the same level as the biggest threat to my person and rights which sadly seems to be my own government.

    Thanks for commenting Howard and for contributing to a meaningful and important exchange of views and opinions on the issue (even if mine does seem longer than yours).

    Please feel free to respond again on this or any other topic we post that moves you. Impish and I love a good honest intelligent & fact based debate on topics of great import to our society/country which is sadly something we don’t get to do with any great frequency. Also thanks for helping me with my next issue I think since so few people actually come to the blog and read the comments and discussion here I’ll make your response and my follow up my next Parting Shot.

  5. I see one major problem with the “Smart Gun” technology; the governement would eventually develop the technology to disable all civilian firearms, hence disabling the ability of We the people to resist them. The idea sounds good in theory, but the drawback is, IMHO, worse than the actual reversal of the Second Amendment.

  6. Hank says:

    Excellent food for thought in the Last Word today

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