Dragon Laffs #1290


Header50adult1_thumb1_thumbAs you can see from the header, I’ve been traveling all week.  I’ve been at Volk Field, just outside of Camp Douglas, Wisconsin.  I was here to take part as an instructor for another unit’s exercise.  The following is a bit of a day-by-day synopsis of what happened.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together…
DAY ONE
Friday, 7 Sept 12
Driving….driving and driving and driving.
and rain…and rain and rain and…
BOOM of Thunder at the same time as the lightning strikes a tree on the other side of the road from me!  Shit!  That was close!
After 9 hours on the road, I arrive at the Tomah, WI Hampton Inn to find out that a good part of the rest of my group of inspectors are stuck in Dallas Texas because their flight to Madison, Wisconsin had mechanical difficulties and the flight was canceled.  I did find a note at the front counter that said that all Exercise Evaluation Team (EET) members should be at the first meeting, on base at 0700 hrs on Saturday.  So, I climbed into the rack and called it a day.  Figures, crappy bed to sleep in.
DAY TWO
Saturday, 8 Sept 12
My GAWD! It’s too damn early to be out in the real world.  Spent the day today going over the plan and what we would be doing over the next couple of days.  See, usually these types of exercises have about 12 people in the Emergency Management Field.  (What I do).  Six for each 12 hour shift.  We have 3.  Total.
But hey! We can do this!  It’ll be fun.
Yeah, right.
Spent the day in planning, talking to the EM chief from the group that is doing the exercise and … wonder of wonders…he’s a guy I went to Tech School with!!!  They tell us that it’s a small world and in this career field, it’s even smaller, but that was wild.  Running into Justin after 5 years.  I’m sure he’s going to do a great job!
DAY THREE
Sunday, 9 Sept 12
Got woke up at oh dark hundred by the phone.  Mrs. Dragon couldn’t sleep either.  No, I’m not going to relate the phone conversation here.  Suffice it to say that it was PG-13 in nature and appropriate between a husband and wife who are quite happily and contentedly in love.  Long day today spent planning, planning, planning.  The war starts tomorrow, I’m sure I’ll have more for  you then.
DAY FOUR
Monday, 10 Sept 12
The War Begins…
DAY FIVE
Tuesday, 11 Sept 12
First time I’ve been back to the hotel since we got started.  What the heck does sleep feel like?
DAY SIX?  SEVEN?
I don’t know.  My part of the war is over.  It’s been great fun, but I know I haven’t given you guys much entertainment.  I’ll do my best to fill in some of the blanks…with a couple of pictures to show you some of the things we’ve been doing…
7475Playing war and sliming folks with nasty chemicals!  God, I love my job!

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A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen, next door to the Ocean
View restaurant, because they had only $6.00 among them and Brad
Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that street.

 

10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where to
meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant,
because the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free snacks, the band
was good, there was no cover charge, and there were lots of cute guys.

 

10 years later, the group of 35-year-old girlfriends discussed where to
meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant,
because the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym and, if they went
late enough, there wouldn’t be too many whiny little kids.

 

10 years later, the group of 45-year-old girlfriends discussed where to
meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant,
because the martinis were big, and the waiters wore tight pants and had
nice buns.

 

10 years later, the group of 55-year-old girlfriends discussed where to
meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant,
because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good, the restaurant
had windows that opened (in case of hot flashes), and they served fish
which is good for your cholesterol.

 

10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends discussed where to
meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant,
because the lighting was good, and the restaurant had a senior citizen
discounts.

 

10 years later, the group of 75-year-old girlfriends discussed where to
meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant,
because the food was not too spicy, and the restaurant was handicapped-
accessible.

 

10 years later, the group of 85-year-old girlfriends discussed where to
meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant,
because they had never been there before.

So, I bought a new bus for Lethal.  He seems to be overly concerned about having enough of a bus to run me over with or throw me in front of, that I thought I’d do him a favor.  Actually, this is a bus that my work buddy had.  It was a real, honest to goodness yellow school bus that he was going to use as a church bus.  Well, that ended up being a bust so he sold it and the guy who bought it turned it into a … well … I’m not really sure WHAT this is, but it definitely unusual…
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Brain CandyKeeping your mind sharp…
You want to keep Alzheimer’s away?  You want to keep your self mentally strong through out your life?  Then, like any other muscle in your body, you have to exercise your brain to keep it strong and healthy.  Brain Candy is one important way to do just that!

See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common?

1.. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess

Give it another try….
Look at each word carefully. You’ll kick yourself when you discover the
answer. This is so cool…..



NOW DON’T LET ME DOWN


No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters…. 

Answer is below!

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Brain Candy AnswersIn all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word. Did you figure it out? No? Then send this to more people and stump them as well. Then, you’ll feel better too….. 
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d2012082801While we were in Wisconsin, I got this great picture of a wood dragon that was stomping around the back woods of Tomah, WI.  He was captured, immobilized and put on a cart so we could transport him.  A really great specimen of a wood dragon.  Might even be one of my relatives.

From our dear friend K².  He has this to say about it…

You will laugh your sides sore with this:

Had me cracking up . .. this gal has developed a perfect ethnic dialect. . . if I could not actually see her doing it I would have NO idea it was a white girl. How long before you catch her first name . .took me a while. . THE problem IS . . . "they live amongst us" and running our national debt up to $17 TRILLION.   This girl belongs on Comedy Central.

Just remember…you need to go to our website to view this masterpiece of humor.   Click here: http://dragonlaffs.com
Enjoy!

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Observations_thumb[1]

President Obama passed up the chance to play golf in
Washington last Sunday to attend church at St. John’s
Episcopal with his family. It was an emotional experience
for him. He felt the pain that all politicians feel when a
collection plate goes by and it’s not for them.

 


 

Contrary to popular opinion, GOP leaders have already
forgiven Todd Akin for his “legitimate rape” firestorm.
In fact, today he received a personal invitation to go
hunting with Dick Cheney.

 


 

Diana Nyad’s latest attempt to swim from Cuba to Florida
has ended. But her proud team said “Nobody in the world
would even attempt this, but we did.” Uh, “nobody in the
world?” Countless Cubans are thinking “Not exactly.”

 


USA Today reports that Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner
is preparing to free-fall to earth from a balloon twenty-three
miles in space. He’ll be coming down at seven hundred miles
per hour. He’s in a race for the world’s free-fall record with
Facebook stock.


Mitt Romney reported one hundred eighty-five million in
cash on hand while Obama spent ten million more than
he made. The GOP is nervous. If Obama’s numbers get
any worse Mitt Romney could take over his campaign,
fire everyone and turn it around.

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Mini Dragon Rant

Obama To Soldiers Overseas: No Voting For You!
From the Investors.com website, which is run by “Investors Business Daily”

Military: The administration thanks the troops for their service by failing to comply with a law requiring that it help soldiers deployed overseas cast ballots in their home states.

The administration has taken various states to court to block voter ID laws on the grounds it will disenfranchise voters. But it has no qualms about the disenfranchisement of military voters overseas through its failure to comply with and enforce the Military and Overseas Voter Empowerment (MOVE) Act, passed by Congress in 2009 and signed into law by President Barack Obama.

The law acknowledges the difficulties caused by time and distance for deployed soldiers in exercising the right to vote they put their lives on the line to protect. One of the key provisions required each military branch to create an installation voting assistance office (IVAO) for every military base outside an immediate combat zone.

Last week, however, the Pentagon’s inspector general reported that attempts to locate and contact IVAO offices at overseas military installations failed about half the time.

“Results were clear. Our attempts to contact IVAOs failed about 50% of the time,” the inspector general reported. “We concluded the Services had not established all the IVAOs as intended by the MOVE Act because, among other issues, the funding was not available.”

The estimated cost of establishing functioning IVAOs at all overseas military bases not in combat zones is estimated at between $15 million and $20 million a year. We wasted $530 million on Solyndra but can’t afford a relative pittance to ensure our soldiers are not disenfranchised.

An administration that constantly talks about voter disenfranchisement appears unconcerned that a study by the nonpartisan Military Voters Protection Project found that in 2008 less than 20% of 2.5 million military voters successfully voted by absentee ballot. In 2010, that participation shrank to a scandalous 5%. We need to encourage military voting and make it easier.

Is there a method in the administration’s madness, a reason it doesn’t want to make it easier for soldiers to vote? It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that John McCain won 54% of the military vote in 2008 or that a May 2012 Gallup poll showed Mitt Romney pulling 58% to President Obama’s paltry 34%.

The law also requires that states mail absentee ballots to their servicemen 45 days before an election so there’s enough time to return and count them. The Department of Justice can file suit to ensure compliance but in 2010 was content to grant failing states waivers. As a result, about one-third of overseas troops who wanted to vote in 2010 couldn’t, according to testimony at a House committee hearing in February.

So, not only are we allowing dead people to vote, but now we’re keeping G.I.s from voting?  Because we don’t like the way they are going to vote?  This is such bull-shit on so many different levels!  People, how long are going to let this crap go on?
How long are we going to let a few people do whatever the hell they want to do?
This is not the United States of Liberalism!
Or the Obama Nation!
Every single one of us needs to get our asses out there and

Vote

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7 Important Email Security Tips You Should Know About

Internet security is a topic that we all know to be important, but it often sits way back in the recesses of our minds, fooling ourselves into believing that “it won’t happen to me”. Whether it’s the destructive force of the newest virus or just the hacking attempts of a newbie scriptkiddy, we’re always only one click away from dealing with a security mess that we’d rather not confront. Nowhere is this truer than in our emails.

Mat Honan wrote a fascinating article over at Wired about Internet security and about how he became a victim of various online security flaws. In it, he wrote,“[The] security lapses are my fault, and I deeply, deeply regret them”. He hits home on a very serious truth: in most of the cases where we face hiccups in security, we can trace the issue back to our own ignorance and negligence.

Safe online practices are important to keeping your online identity unadulterated and free from viruses, hackers, and all sorts of Internet-based shenanigans. And the best place to start? Your inbox.

Here are some simple yet important security tips you should know in order to keep your email account as secure as possible.

1. Use Separate Email Accounts

If you’re like most people, your email account is probably the centralized hub of your personal activity. All of your Facebook notifications, website registrations, newsletters, messages, etc. get sent to your email box, right? That means you’re putting all of your eggs in one basket – if that basket happens to fall, you’ll lose all your eggs with it.

In other words, if you bring all of your activity into a single email account, what happens when someone breaks into it? I’d say it’s plausible that they would gain access to everything else. This is why you should use multiple email accounts.

Having separate email accounts will not only help boost your security, but also your productivity. Imagine if you could consolidate all of your work emails into a single work account; all of your friends and family communicate with your personal account; you have a recreational account for various websites; and a throwaway account for potential spam links. This way, if someone hacks your work account, all of your personal emails are still safe.

2. Create A Unique Password

Going along with the multiple account idea, you should also have an entirely unique password for each of your email accounts. Even if you decide to keep one “master” email account, make sure that its password is 100% unique.

Using one password for all of your accounts is a rookie-level mistake. Suppose someone didhack into your personal email and they see all of your incoming Facebook notifications, eBay reminders, and more. Any half-wit hacker will test those accounts with the same password as your email account–and in your case, they would succeed.

This is common advice, I know, but so many people still neglect it. Admittedly, for the longest time, I too used the same password for literally every account that I had. When one of my friends figured out my password (without messing with anything, thankfully), I knew it was time to wise up.

3. Beware Of Phishing Scams

When dealing with a particular company or product that requires account information, have you ever seen the following message: “Never give away your personal information. We willneverask you for your password.” When someone sends you an email asking you for your personal information, you know right away that it’s a trick.

But there’s another level to this scam and it’s called “phishing.” Basically, malicious users will imitate and impersonate high-profile websites (e.g., eBay, Amazon, Facebook, etc.) and say that they’re experiencing trouble with your account; all you have to do to fix it is to send them your username and password to verify your authenticity. Sometimes they’ll even link you to a false website that looks exactlylike the real thing.

Be wary. In fact, whenever your personal information is ever brought up in a non-face-to-face capacity, your scam detector should go off loud and clear.

4. Never Click Links In Emails

Phishing brings me to my next point. Whenever you see a link in an email, 99% of the time you should notclick on it. The only exceptions are when you’re expecting a particular email, such as a forum registration link or game account activation email. Things like that.

If you receive a spam email that tries to sell you a particular service or product, never click onanyof the links inside. You never know where they’ll lead you. Sometimes they might be safe; other times they’ll bring you straight to the doors of hell and swarm you with malware and viruses.

If you get an email from your bank or any other service (e.g., bill payments), always visit the website manually. No copy and paste. No direct clicking. You’ll thank yourself later.

5. Do Not Open Unsolicited Attachments

Attachments are a tricky thing when it comes to email. If you’re expecting something from a buddy or an uncle, then sure, go ahead and open the attachment. Have a laugh at the funny photo they sent you. It’s all good when you knowthe person sending the attachment.

But if the email is unsolicited, never open any attachments. Even if the file looks innocent, you could be in for a world of hurt. Filenames can be spoofed. JPEGs could be EXEs in disguise and those EXEs will run as soon as they’re downloaded. And then you’ll have a virus on your hands.

6. Scan For Viruses & Malware

If you open an email and it seems suspicious in any way, go ahead and run a malware and virus scanner. Not every spam email will infect you with a virus and it may seem like overkill to run a malware scanner every time you open a fishy email, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. The one time that you decide to let it go could be the time your computer loads a keylogger.

7. Avoid Public Wi-Fi

And lastly, avoid checking your email when you’re on public Internet. Yes, I know that when you’re waiting for an airplane to reach your gate, it can be tempting to whip out your smartphone or laptop and check for new messages. Unfortunately, public Wi-Fi can be extremely insecure.

There are programs out there called “network sniffers” that run passively in the background of some hacker’s device. The sniffer monitors all of the wireless data flowing through a particular network – and that data can be analyzed for important information. Like your username and password.

It’s strange that as the years go by, security grows tighter in some ways and we remain just as vulnerable as we’ve always been in other ways. Email security comes down to common sense and careful decisions. Don’t let laziness and convenience overshadow your desire for protection and peace.

Image Credits: Email Key Via Shutterstock, Password Via Shutterstock, Phishing Via Shutterstock, Internet Scam Via Shutterstock
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Wow, you need to REALLY be careful what you tweet!  While this is ludicrious as hell, it’s also scary!  What do you think?
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The FBI spent one billion dollars on a new facial recognition system that can identify U.S. citizens on security video in public places. It breeds a distrust of government. This is why every Barack Obama joke begins the exact same way, by looking over your shoulder.

 

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Why are meteorologists always nervous?
Their future is always up in the air.
 
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.
‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.
‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’
‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’
 
The dress didn’t feel right – it was sarong.
 
In all fairness to the car salesman, he didn’t lie to me
about the brakes. He said, “You’ll love this car. There’s
no stopping it.”
 
No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.
 
He called me a woodenhead. So I gave him a piece of my mind. Now he’s got a chip on his shoulder.
 

 

 

A glide-path is a soar spot.
 
He had a difficult time bouncing back from his bungee cord accident.
 
My doctor operated on the wrong side of my brain. I have half a mind to sue him.

 

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Mitt Romney adjusted his promise to repeal ObamaCare. Instead of total repeal he’s agreed to keep its most popular parts. If Mitt Romney changes positions one more time, he’s going to have his own chapter in the next edition of the Kama Sutra.

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Nature
naughty
Network cable
Nevermind why

Animal Chatter 2

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Hi folks, no Last Word this week.  Frankly, I just didn’t have the time.  I’m very sorry for that, but I hope the funnies made up for it.  If not, well, there ought to be another last word next week.

Have a great weekend my friends.

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One Response to Dragon Laffs #1290

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    I’m pretty sure that bus is a prototype Short Bus for hauling Dragons to their “special” school.

    Either that or its the Dragon excess recovery vehicle. This way when he over does it and decides to ‘technicolor yawn’ while being driven to the vet the mess is outside the crew’s cab with him alone and we can just drive thru the car wash Impish and all to clean it up.

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