Dragon Laffs #1271


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Adult-Content-1_thumb1_thumb_thumb_t[1]Good Morning Campers!
I have to share something with you…this super classy, believable, movie.  Great scenes, fantastic dialog, in-depth characters. It was absolutely amazing!  What m0vie am I talking about?
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Half comic book, which is good I guess since the original WAS a comic book…
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and half movie…there were an amazing number of “names” in the movie.  Lori Petty, Ice-T, Naomi Watts, Don Harvey, Malcolm McDowell, Ann Cusack, Iggy Pop, James Hong, just to name a few.  Okay, so my tongue is firmly planted in cheek on this one.  (If you can’t already tell) but it was a REALLY slow afternoon on Thursday.  Really an odd movie.  If you get a chance, and you are inebriated or otherwise chemically enhanced, you will probably really enjoy it.
Okay, so here’s just a little taste and we’ll move on to other things!

Yup, senseless, useless and a complete and total waste of time!  I give it 4 thumbs up!!!
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Okay, how about we get on with the REAL Laffs?

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How to make a TON of money!!!!
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Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women
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And here we go…

#10 – You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9 – You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.

#8 – If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 – Your primary gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 – Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 – A gun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.

#4 – Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3 – A gun doesn’t ask , “Do these new grips make me look fat?”

#2 – A gun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the Number One reason
Why Men Prefer Guns over women…..
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#1 – You can buy a silencer for a gun

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Biggest Lie Ever Told…

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Now THIS is the kind of parking sign that I like to see….
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A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a State trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, sir,” replied the trooper.

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Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.

After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a near-by city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.

Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away. “There’s just one problem,” explained the model. “Because of my job, I have to have a bath every night, and I notice you don’t have a bath.”

“That’s not a problem,” replied Doris. “We have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it into the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water.”

“What about your husband? asked the model.

“Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings,” replied Doris.

“Good,” said the model. “Now that that’s been settled, I’ll go to the studio and see you tonight.”

That evening, Fred dutifully went to his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model.

After stripping off, the model stepped into the bath. Doris was amazed to see that she had no pubic hair.

The model noticed Doris’ staring eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave herself, especially when modeling swimmer or underclothes.

Later when Fred returned, Doris related this oddity and he does not believe her.

“It’s true, I tell you!” said Doris.

“Look, if you don’t believe me, tomorrow night I’ll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself.”

The next night, Fred left as usual and Doris prepared the bath for the model.

As the model stepped naked into the bath, Doris stood behind her.

Doris looked towards the curtains and pointed towards the model’s naked pubic area.

Then she lifted up her skirt and wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass.

Later Fred returned and they retired to bed.

“Well, do you believe me now?” she asked Fred.

“Yes, he replied. “I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.

But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?”

“Just to show you the difference,” answered Doris. “But I guess you’ve seen me millions of times.”

“Yes, said Fred, I have, but the rest of the dart team hadn’t.”

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Go On

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Well, Leprechaun and I spoke extensively last night on what would constitute a good Last Word.   We both agreed that a good Last Word, or in his case, the Parting Shot, would be one that would garner some sort of comments in the comment section.  We also agreed, that for the most part, the political stuff got the most comments, but most of that was derogatory.  So, what does constitute a good ending?  We talked about this stream of an ant colony… 

http://www.ustream.tv/embed/10986567

Stream videos at Ustream

If it works, that is…

He also brought my attention to a guy who had been killed in a fight by having his testicles squeezed http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/26/woman-squeezed-mans-testicles-kills-parking-china_n_1457487.html?ref=mostpopular
and as a male dragon, the thought of that is quite disturbing. 

another one was of a UFO captured in a picture by NASA.  Real object?  Anomaly? Who knows?  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/26/ufo-near-the-sun-or-a-camera-glitch_n_1456380.html?ref=mostpopular 

Or how about the Octomom spending all that welfare money on silly stuff?  http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/136712/octomom_is_using_her_welfare?utm_source=cafemom&utm_medium=cmi&utm_content=sendtofriend&utm_campaign=General&email_id=716298305

What about you guys?  What would you like to see?  What kind of stuff do you feel incited enough to make comments on?  We can be controversial.  I think we’ve proven that time and time again.  We can also do cute and cuddly, although NO ONE has EVER commented on that part of us.  So, pissed off and political it is.  So, in that vein, how about the bullshit going on right now between the Republicans and the Democrats and the student loan percentage rate and paying for it out of a slush fund in the medical arena. 

Neither one of you dumb-asses wanted the others toys until they started playing with them.  The President was going to cut the slush fund himself until the Republicans got on the band wagon and the Republicans were going to close a tax loop hole themselves until the Democrats got interested.  This is total bullshit to create a problem that shouldn’t exist in the first place.  Just like I tell my kids, if you can’t play nice with the neighbor kids, then each of you get your butts back to your own yards and play by yourself.  See how much fun that is!

Okay, so maybe the analogy doesn’t really work well, but you get my point.  I say, get rid of all of them and hire some damn politicians that agree to act like adults!

Okay, I’m done. 

What’s your opinion?  Write to us and let us know!

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10 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1271

  1. paul says:

    i like the sign at Walmart – is it real?? of just an idea??

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Lethal here Paul~

      Impish has been chained to his desk by his harness until he catches up on paperwork. Apparently he’s so intent of freeing himself that he hasn’t checked the comments section or has not had time to research the sign.

      Well unlike him I made the time for a loyal readers question and the required research.

      It seems from what I can find out that the sign in question resides out side a WalMart located at 2025 N Marine Blvd Jacksonville NC 28546.

      While out today I made it a point to drive through the parking lots of the 2 WalMarts I passed (my own Super-Duper one and a ‘regular’ one). Neither sported this sign that I was able to detect though the security dude in his golf cart at the Super WalMart says he make it a habit of shuttling any Wounded Warriors he sees while roaming the Parking Lot to the store’s front door and back to their car if he can.

      • paul says:

        these signs would be a great addition to all WalMarts –
        thanks for checking

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        I fail to see why we need to stop there Paul, Targets Grocery stores, the Pharmacy, basically anyplace that is a necessity of life should have them.

        My pleasure on the checking part, sorry it took so long for ME to get around to cleaning up after IMPISH…again.

      • paul says:

        GREAT IDEA – Why stop there – how about if we put them everywhere there are handicap signs??

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        Dual use spots! I LIKE IT!

        Of course practical application and proof of right to use them becomes an issue then. The whole thing IS slightly redundant as well because may wounded warriors have handicapped stickers. Arguably though there are many more who refuse to get one or would refuse to use a handicapped space believing there were those that need them more than they did.

      • paul says:

        I’m inclined to believe you – on both points

      • impishdragon says:

        Shhh! Don’t tell Lethal, but I’ve gotten loose from my bondage…wait a minute…I caught up on all my work and the chains just fell off! Boy, the darn leprechaun is sure a sneaky son-of-a-gun!
        Anyway, I believe that you (Paul) and Lethal may be on to something. I’m sure you’ve seen signs where the “Employee of the Month” or something like that has his own special parking place at the front, why not set one up for “Veteran” or you could even go for “Military in Uniform” since, technically, you aren’t supposed to wear anything other than your Class A’s or Blues or Greens or whatever (depending on your branch of service) to a civilian store. You are only allowed to wear the utility uniform for quick, on the way home type stops, by giving them their own parking spot, close to the front, you allow them to run in and run out on those quick “bring home milk for the baby” stops at the grocery store. And having a Veteran only spot is a nice way to say thanks. Any one who used it who wasn’t a vet might get away with it once or twice but eventually they will be found out and the real vets could get a chance to kick his ass. That’d be fun!
        There might even be groups who’d like to hang out at the local Krogers to see who parked in those spots just so that they could be sure that it was used for the proper purpose.
        And LL, you’re right. So many of our brothers are wounded and hurting and already have a handicap sticker or plate, but I agree that there are also just as many who think that somebody else is worse off then they are and don’t take the spot so someone else could.
        Yeah, in the long run, although it’s a great idea, I don’t really see it working out.
        More’s the pity.
        Say thanks to a vet.
        Cheers,
        Impish

  2. paul says:

    POOR IMPISH – NO RESPECT

  3. lethalleprechaun says:

    I got a couple comments Impish,
    1.) Welcome back buddy. It’s nice to have you in the office for a change, taking up your harness and being productive around here. Place wasn’t the same without you, all calm & organized, no mad rush to beat you to the lunch room or starve, no noxious fumes wafting from the Executive Dragons Washroom setting off the Environmental Alarms, People not having to explain their jokes…two and three times casue you didn’t understand them, the Print & Graphics Departments smiling becasue things were in ahead of deadline. I really missed you!

    2.) CLICK! Oh sorry that was a little loud, wish you could see the impressive lock that made it! It’s locking your harness closed and carefully positioned where you can get to it to chew or flame it. Now you’re going to stop all this gallivanting, off to play WMD Warrior and get some of your backlogged work cleared up!

    3.) WADDA YA MEAN “it was kinda a slow afternoon Thursday”?! You’ve got such a backlog we had to start stacking file boxes in another room! If you make a large enough dent in the pile to find your TV you let me know I’ll have more file boxes stacked in front of it you micro second attention spanned flying goldbrick!!

    NOW GET BACK TO WORK BUDDY!

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