A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. Walking through the mall the surprised wife looked up and noticed her husband was nowhere around and she was very upset because they had a lot to do. She used her cell phone to call her husband because she was so upset, to ask him where he was.
The husband in a calm voice said, honey remember the jewelry store we went into 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day.
His wife said crying, yes I remember that jewelry store.
He said, well I’m in the bar next to it.
Look carefully, they’re in the same order. Their makeover pictures are below their regular pictures.
It’s just amazing what money can do. Also read below the picture.
This photo below was taken at a competition in June 2008 involving 9 women for best makeover.
They had every possible beauty treatment available to them over a period of 12 hours before the contest.
Look at the before and after photos. Conclusion – there are no ugly women only poor women.
The woman 2nd from the left won the contest.
Please read the bottom comment under the pictures also.
Beer has the same effect, only cheaper!
Well Christmas has come and gone for another year and aside from an uncertain future in the New Year all we have to look forward to for certain are the bills from celebrating Christmas and the tightening of our budgetary belts to accommodate those bills. So here are a few cheap fast and easy dinner ideas for the new year.
Skillet Picante Beef Stroganoff
This kicked-up stroganoff gets a burst of great flavor from picante sauce…it’s ready in just 40 minutes, but it’s so good, it tastes like you’ve been cooking all day!
1 pound lean ground beef
8 ounces mushrooms, sliced (about 3 cups)
1 jar (16 ounces) Pace® Picante Sauce
1/3 cup low fat sour cream
4 cups medium egg noodles, cooked and drained
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
- Cook the beef in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat until well browned, stirring often to separate meat. Pour off any fat.
- Add the mushrooms to the skillet and cook until the mushrooms are tender, stirring occasionally. Stir in the picante sauce and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling. Stir in the sour cream. Serve the beef mixture over the noodles. Sprinkle with the parsley.
This pasta is Mexican-meets-Italian — a spicy taco meat in a creamy tomato pasta with a splash of chopped cilantro for some freshness. Use a little imagination and the pasta shells look and taste like little miniature tacos. The best part about this meal is that its literally on the dinner table in twenty minutes.
Prep Time: 10 min Total Time: 20 Servings: 6 Servings
1 pound ground turkey or beef
12 ounces medium pasta shells or small pasta shapes
1 small onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 (14.5 ounces) can Diced Tomatoes with Green Chilies (or use a medium spicy chunky salsa)
1 packet Taco Seasoning Mix
3 ounces cream cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup chopped cilantro (or parsley)
salt and pepper
1 Bring a large pot of water to boil. Cook pasta according to the package directions. Drain, reserving 1/2 cup of pasta water. Set aside.
2 Meanwhile, in a large skillet or sauté pan, cook the ground meat over medium-high heat until no longer pink. A few minutes before the meat is cooked through, add the chopped onion to the skillet. Once the meat is cooked through, mix in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
3 Add in the diced tomatoes and taco seasoning and let simmer over medium heat for about 3-5 minutes.
4 Stir in the cooked pasta, cream cheese, sour cream and reserved pasta water, and continue stirring until the cream cheese is melted and the sauce is well blended. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer over medium-low heat 3-5 minutes to reduce the sauce a bit if it is still too thin.
5 Toss in the cilantro right before serving for some fresh color and flavor. Serve with a green salad.
Molly takes her bowl straight to the fridge to liberally apply shredded cheese of the Monterey & Colby Jack variety or if we happen to have it a 4 cheese Mexican blend.
Quick Lasagna Casserole
Instead of layering the ingredients, this lasagna recipe mixes the pasta and sauce together, then tops with cheese to cut prep time.
- 12 ounces dried campanelle or cellantani pasta
- 1 pound bulk Italian sausage
- 1 large onion, cut in thin wedges
- 1 medium yellow sweet pepper, cut in bite-size strips
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 24- to 28-ounce jar marinara sauce
- 1 teaspoon fennel seed, crushed
- 1 15-ounce carton ricotta cheese
- 1 egg, lightly beaten
- 1 8-ounce packaged shredded Italian blend cheeses (2 cups)
Carbohydrate: 47g, Sodium: 1133g, Fiber: 5g, Cholesterol: 112mg, Total Fat: 35g, Calories: 636, Protein: 34g.
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Cook pasta according to package directions; drain.
2. In a large skillet cook sausage, onion, sweet pepper, and garlic until sausage is no longer pink; drain fat. Transfer sausage mixture to a very large bowl. Stir in marinara sauce, fennel seed, and cooked pasta.
3. Transfer the pasta mixture to a 3-quart rectangular baking pan. In a medium bowl stir together ricotta cheese, egg, and 1 cup of the Italian blend cheeses. Spoon the ricotta cheese over the pasta mixture in large dollops. Sprinkle the remaining shredded Italian blend cheeses over the top. Bake, uncovered, for 35 to 40 minutes or until heated through. Let stand 10 minutes before serving. Makes 8 to 10 servings.
4. Spoon mixture into 3-quart rectangular baking dish. Cover with plastic wrap. Chill 2 to 24 hours. Remove plastic wrap. Bake in a 350 degree F oven for 50 to 60 minutes or until heated through. Let stand as directed.
A delicious chocolate and peanut butter chip cookie cooked right in a cast iron skillet!
Imagine a cookie. A chocolate chip cookie. Except also with peanut butter.
Now make it bigger.
And easier to make.
That’s the cast iron cookie!
It might seem strange to cook a cookie in the same pan that you fry chicken or bacon in, but trust me. It makes for a perfect cookie environment because it distributes heat evenly, and will leave you with a cookie with a slightly crackly crust and a very soft interior.
It might just be the perfect cookie!
Prep Time: 15 min Total Time: 1 hr Servings: 12 Big Cookies
- 2 Cups Gold Medal All-Purpose Flour
- 1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
- 1 Teaspoon Kosher salt (or 1/2 Tsp. Table Salt)
- 1 Cup Unsalted Butter
- 1/4 Cup White sugar
- 1 Cup Brown Sugar
- 1 Large Egg
- 2 Teaspoons Vanilla
- 1 1/2 Cups Mixed Chocolate Chips
- In a stand mixer, or with a hand mixer, cream the butter and sugars together until light and fluffy.
- Slowly beat in egg and vanilla.
- In a separate bowl, mix dry ingredients, then slowly add dry ingredients to dough.
- Once dry ingredients are incorporated, mix in chocolate chips.
- Scoop dough into a large cast iron skillet (12-inch size works well). Spread the dough out evenly over the skillet. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
- Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.
- Let cool for 10 minutes and then slice and serve!
Sayings of a Yiddish Buddha
If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.
Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.
There is no escaping karma.. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.
The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says, There is no self. So, maybe we’re off the hook.
A week or so ago the Parting Shot concerned the the but steady encroachment by the government and other outside bodies into our lives with regard to how we raise out children and what morals, values and beliefs they are taught. My basis for complaint beside the obvious one of the state usurping our personal and private family rights without just cause in many cases (2 were illustrated) was that often these bastions of child guardianship commit egregious violations and mistakes against all involved and have a more than reasonable expectancy of stonewalling any investigation and getting off scot free. They accomplish this by hiding behind the very child who in fact THEY are causing the harm to NOT the parents by senselessly removing them from their families by citing the child’s right to privacy!
My Parting Shot lead to a short exchange in the comments area generally all in support of my position. However there was one well argued dissention which I would like to share with you now, along with my response to them and some recent follow up information that has surfaced on the incident we discuss in the exchange.
M C Collett:
Freedom of the way you live you your life and how you may abuse children is not a conflict.
Children have the right and expectation to be properly fed, clothed, and housed.
Do not complicate rights with responsibility.
The 12 yr. old 200 lb child exacts a disregard for life.
Your parents did not do this to you, do not allow others to regard the “freedom”
to abuse their children.
I disagree Mike. Its NOT a sign of “abuse” the child is obviously NOT starving or going hungry. I will concede that a 200# child of that age needs medical treatment but I suspect if the parents are guilty of anything its over providing for their child NOT abuse.
The term ‘ABUSE” is all too frequently misused to gain control of children simply because what a parent is doing or the values being instilled do not agree with the liberal loons in “Social Services”.
There may well be underlying health issues causing the child to be 200# but these were never even discussed examined or looked at as a possible cause from what the article says. Instead an instant determination of “ABUSE!” was Olympic record long jumped to.
Offers of help were not made, Career Social service liberals simply went off half cocked (at BEST case) and ripped a child out of its home and placed a stink & taint on the parents which they did NOT deserve and will prove nigh on impossible ever to be rid of.
Why? Because there is no expectation by those career social service liberals of ever being held accountable for their bad judgment calls.
I have to admit I rather expected this was the end of the topic since nobody chose to publically comment further and Mike apparently (I’m just guessing) decided that further concourse on the issue was not going to prove fruitful in bringing me around to a different course of thought. (To his credit he would have been correct if that was what he was thinking but I have a great deal of respect for his willingness to debate as well as his well constructed argument)
However at the beginning of last week more information on this particular case surfaced. Since it was not in keeping with our holiday theme and mood, I decided to hold off a week and cover it now under the blanket of clearing away “old year business” so the new year could start with fresh topics and subjects.
This link appeared magically in my Inbox via an anonymous re-mailer program:
It lead to this article:
By Associated Press, Published: December 14
CLEVELAND — A boy removed from his mother’s custody over health concerns when his weight ballooned to more than 200 pounds will be taken from foster care and placed in the custody of an uncle, a judge ruled Wednesday.
Judge John Hoffman also said the boy, who celebrated his 9th birthday Wednesday but didn’t appear in court, would be allowed a weeklong visit with his mother for Christmas. His name was withheld by Cuyahoga County Juvenile Court.
The mother left court without commenting, but the placement with her brother living in the Columbus area had been accepted by all sides before it was announced during a brief court hearing.
The court-appointed attorney representing the boy’s interests, John Lawson, said he was sure the youngster would be happy with the agreement.
“This is only an interim plan because the real goal of everybody here is to get him back in his home with his mother and his sibling,” a brother, Lawson said.
“He’s a very smart boy and I think he’s got goals about himself,” Lawson said, including losing weight.
While in foster care, the boy’s weight dropped from about 200 pounds to 192.
Mary Louise Madigan, speaking for the Cuyahoga County Children and Family Services agency that sought foster care for the boy over weight-related health issues, said having the uncle caring for the boy was part of the county’s goal of getting him to a healthy weight and back with his mother.
“He’s in a least restrictive placement with a family member and I think that’s what the court was looking at,” she said.
The American Civil Liberties Union of Ohio joined the case on the boy’s behalf and said he should be with his family.
“We think it’s a fundamental liberty for a child to be brought up in his home among family and friends,” said the ACLU’s James Hardiman.
Taking a child from the home over weight issues could set a bad precedent, he said.
“We’re concerned that if this were to establish a precedent that it would be a pretty dangerous precedent. So we take it as a basic fundamental civil liberties issue,” Hardiman said.
Please note the section I have highlighted in red italics above. While I respect people who will argue the opposing view point like Mike (especially Mike since he was the ONLY one to speak up from the other side of the fence), I have to ask the following question: If the ACLU, the rabid Rottweiler of liberal values that it has become, has stepped into this and has weighed in supporting MY side of the argument, how TRUELY bad has the situation gotten?
Seriously. Think about it for just a second, the champion of removing public demonstrations of faith and religion from public view and just about every other socialist cause de celebre to come round has come out and in effect said ‘hey this is out of bounds and sets a dangerous precedent even for us, we’re taking the conservative view of this.”
Just HOW badly out of whack and off the tracks has this situation gotten to require them to say such a thing? Better yet how apathetic and cowed have we become to have to have the enormity of this situation pointed out to us by as radically liberal an agendaed group as the ACLU?
A Long Time Ago….
Today Its More Like…
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebub (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
This is a couple years old, but worth repeating this *CHRISTMAS* Season. In fact the way I see it, the cornerstone of logic this entire opinion is based on is valid through out the year regardless of the season!
Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees for the first time this year  which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America.
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does
not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up,
bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel
discriminated against. That’s what they are, Christmas trees.
It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I
don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto.
In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters
celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there
is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in
Malibu. If people want a creche, it’s just as fine with me as is the
Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think
Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people
who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I
have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly
atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution and I don’t like it
being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we
should worship celebrities and we aren’t allowed to worship God? I guess
that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are
wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a
little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s
intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson
asked her ‘How could God let something like this happen?’ (regarding
Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful
response. She said, ‘I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we
are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get
out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman
He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us
His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?’
In light of recent events… terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I
think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body
found a few years ago) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools,
and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.
The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your
neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they
misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might
damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s [grand] son committed suicide). We said an
expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said okay.
Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they
don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill
strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.
I think it has a great deal to do with ‘WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.’
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the
world’s going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but
question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail
and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages
regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd,
crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but
public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing yet?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on
your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they
will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than
what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it…. no one will know you did. But, if you
discard this thought process, don’t sit back and complain about what bad
shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Until next we meet in the new year~