Dragon Laffs #1239


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Tresspasser2_thumb1_thumb_thumb_thumGood Morning Campers.   Welcome to Saturday!

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I’d like to thank all of you who’ve bought one of our limited edition 9-11 mugs.  We’ve sold a total of 20 mugs so far.  There is still time to order.  They will only be on sale about another 3 weeks and then they will disappear forever!  Here’s the link to go to: http://www.zazzle.com/dragonlaffs_sept_11th_memorial_mug-168351425205007069 
And in today’s Last Word you can see a picture of my own mug (which I’m drinking out of as we speak) in action!  More to come on this at another time.

Today is my littlest dragon’s birthday!
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Happy 10th Birthday, Izzy!

Now, let’s get on with today’s issue!

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What is this?

 

 

Why. it’s a Space Bar of course!

(Don’t get mad at me, I don’t make this stuff up!)


If this doesn’t put a smile on your face, then you need to report to the morgue, you’re dead!  Thanks Dad, this is great!

This was so addictive that I ended up searching for the Jive Aces for over an hour.  Lots and lots of good videos out there.


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Yeah, we’re all cute and cuddly until we grow up to eat your wives and daughters!


I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself “I’m going to take that.”


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I’m not sure if this is more funny or scary….you can decide…
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/gmale/


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Military Shorts…

“When  In Doubt, Empty The Magazine” 

Marine Sniper – You can run, but you’ll just die tired!” 

“Machine Gunners – Accuracy By Volume”

“Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything.” 

” U.S. Marines – Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club.” 

” U.S. Air Force – Travel Agents To Allah” 

“Stop Global Whining” 

Naval Corollary: Dead Men Don’t Testify. 

“The Marine Corps – When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight” 

“Death Smiles At Everyone – Marines Smile Back” 

“What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist?  A Little Recoil” 

“Marines – Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775” 

“Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It” 

“Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon” 

“It’s God’s Job to Forgive Bin Laden – It’s Our Job To Arrange The Meeting” 

“Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar Brawl” 

“One Shot, Twelve Kills – U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support “ 

“My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College” 

“A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy – Blessed Be The Peacemakers” 

…and finally 

“Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world.   
But the U.S. ARMED FORCES don’t have that problem.”


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In the aftermath of Hurricane Irene, there are still millions of Americans
without power. Democrats in Congress are saying,
“Now you know how we feel!”

Hurricane Irene

Got any pictures of Irene from your area?  Send them in and see them printed right here in your favorite e-zine.

5jFleischmanns, NY.

5kOcean City, Maryland.

5lRoute 100 in Vermont

5mMargaretville, NY.

5nBilly Stinson comforts his daughter, Erin, as they sit on the steps where their cottage once stood in Nags Head, North Carolina. The home, built in 1903 and listed on the National Register of Historic Places, was destroyed by Hurricane Irene.

5oTannersville, Greene County, NY

5pMendon, Vermont along Route 4.

5qWindham, NY.

5rWindham, NY.

5sWilbur’s Point in Fairhaven, Mass.

5tJackie Sparnackel has to abandon her van and her belongings after she ventured to check out the storm-damaged pier in Frisco, N.C.

5uThe hurricane-force winds of Irene rip the siding off of homes in Nags Head, N.C.

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Windham, New York.
Is it my imagination, or did Windham, New York get their asses kicked?  Seems to be a place with a lot of pictures taken.

5wHarwington, Connecticut.

5xDamaged water tower in Cary, North Carolina.

All this water, everywhere, and now we don’t have any fresh water to drink.


Dennis Miller in one of the funniest scathing speeches ever taped:

http://ezralevant.com/2011/01/wonderful-video-probably-illeg.html


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Flash mob symphony

http://www.flixxy.com/symphony-flash-mob-copenhagen-central-station.htm


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“Nope, I honestly don’t understand why I can’t get a job!”

U.S. officials say Al Queda’s number two operative was killed in
Pakistan. Apparently that is the world’s worst job as we have
killed eighty people in that position by now.

 


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Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke says that time will heal the
country’s economic wounds. Which is good because apparently Congress
and the White House have no intention of doing anything to make it better.

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I don’t know about you, but to me, that’s friggin’ amazing!

Okay, okay, I know it’s politically incorrect, but it’s still funny as hell:

How do you starve an Obama supporter?

Hide his food stamps under his work boots.


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Illegal Aliens

Motivational Farts

Motivational Fight Club


President Obama walks into a Bank of America Branch to cash a check. As he approaches the cashier he says “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me”?

Cashier: “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID”?

Obama: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the president of the United States of America!!!!”

Cashier: “Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the new regulations, monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc I must insist on seeing ID”

Obama: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am”

Cashier: “I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”

Obama: “I am urging you please to cash this check”

Cashier: “Look Mr.. President this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check. Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his check. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?”

Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says: “Honestly, there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing.”

Cashier: “Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?”


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NASA says the International Space Station may have to be evacuated in
November. How bad is it when you owe so much money to other countries
that you actually get evicted from space?

 
Mug
 
A study says that eating chocolate could lower a person’s risk of heart
disease by 37%. The only way chocolate is unhealthy is when you try to
take a box of it away from any woman.


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Today’s Last Word…6a 
What can I say?  Tomorrow is the 10th Anniversary and everything was already said most eloquently by our own LL earlier in the week and because today is my daughter’s birthday, we’re going to stay on a positive, up-beat note. 

But, I do want to caution everyone, especially those of you in large cities…the government has said that they have “credible intelligence” (personally, I don’t believe you are allowed, in good taste, to use the words “government” and “intelligence” in the same sentence, but I digress) they have “credible intelligence” of the plans for some sort of terrorist act tomorrow.  Specifically, they call for VBIEDs, Vehicle Borne Improvised Explosive Device, or car bombs to be exploded in New York, Washington D.C. and Los Angeles. 

I know that all military installations, government facilities and others have ramped up security, just in case, and I believe, as good Americans we should do the same.  Ramp up our security, keep our eyes open and report any suspicious activities to the local authorities. 

My wish for you all is a happy, safe and blessed weekend.  Anyone who wants to fly in for some cake and ice-cream is welcome.  When asked what she wanted for her birthday, Izzy was heard to say, “Gold coins are always a good gift, but diamonds are still a girl’s best friend.”  Personally, I think she’s been hanging around her Uncle Leprechaun a bit much.

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1239

  1. Dan from NYC says:

    That Billy Stinson is a cop right? He may as well be. He’s already got the long arm part down pat.

    Jokes aside, Windham and other mountain towns in that area like Prattsville and Tannersville and a host of others in Greene County got hammered really bad. It’s made worse in that these towns were already living in a recession before the 2008 hit and things have only gotten tougher.

    And to the birthday girl, a very happy birthday and go with your gut. Diamond valuations are less volatile.

  2. Ginny says:

    Your daughter is adorable…Happy Birthday Izzy. Have fun on your special day!

  3. lethalleprechaun says:

    Hey back off ImpishDaddy!!
    At least I told her she could not ask for dangerous weapons until she was 13 and was trained to use them properly!
    Is it MY fault she decided to start saving for them early?

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