Leprechaun Laughs #97 for Monday 08/01


banksign

I’ll save you all the questions. It’s not about how much you have on deposit before they’ll let you play with their electronic sign. It’s all about owning a majority share of the damned bank and agreeing not to introduce the Bank President’s virginal teenage daughter to Impish.

monday-stinks farie

Yeah Yeah Yeah I know, “The issue Lethal get the issue out for us. Hurry man! The issue! It’s been 24 hours since we had a decent laugh!” 

DON’T START WITH ME IT’S BLEEDING MONDAY AND PRE-MY FIRST CUP OF COFFEE BESIDES!

I swear the only time you’ll meet a cross fairy is Monday mornings (or anytime the subject of Smurfs and their possible status as wee folks comes up before the Board of Mythical Creatures). I think even Buddha and Gandhi were P.O.’d on Mondays.

I’m even grumpier than usual on Mondays (if that’s even possible) while Impish, he’s just basically a total loss on Mondays. First it takes 5 gallons off coffee just to get his eyes open and focused. Then it takes another 5 gallons just to get his brain to function at the “Fire bad. Tree pretty. Cup empty. Want More Coffee.”  grunting level. Once he gets that third 5 gallons of coffee in him he discovers its Monday, whines about having worked the weekend and promptly goes back to bed!

Sigh! And people wonder why I am bald and curmudgeonly!

drink my coffee

MRSA Superbug: Can Coffee And Tea Protect You?

The Huffington Post Meghan Neal Posted: 7/15/11 10:21 AM ET

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More good news for coffee drinkers? Possibly.

A government study looked at 5,500 Americans and found those that drank tea or coffee had half the chance of carrying the MRSA superbug in their nasal carriage. Scientists have long been aware of tea and coffee’s antimicrobial properties.

“Our findings raise the possibility of a promising new method to decrease MRSA nasal carriage that is safe, inexpensive, and easily accessible,” wrote the study authors in the Annals Of Family Medicine.

 

Still, more research is needed. Lead researcher Eric Matheson, of the University of South Carolina, told Reuters:

The study shows an association between the two, but you never can conclude causation from an association. I can’t tell you that this finding isn’t just a coincidence.

Since it’s discovery in the early 1960s, the antibiotic-resistant “superbug” MRSA, short for Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus Aureus, has been quickly spreading across the U.S. and oversees — suggesting epidemic levels.

From WebMD:

MRSA often causes illness when it comes into contact with an open skin wound. People with weakened immune systems are at higher than average risk of having an MRSA-related illness. Hospital-acquired MRSA accounts for many fatal MRSA infections.

 

In June a new strain of MRSA was discovered in cow’s milk. While alarming, researchers said it was unlikely the bacteria would seep into the food chain.

 

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So the gaffer is Irish and the geezer was a Dragon..ok got it. Makes perfect sense to me!

A group of hunters, out on holiday, were driving along searching for a place to hunt, when they pulled their vehicle into a farmer’s yard in County Waterford, Munster, Ireland. Sean, the driver, approached the farmhouse to ask the farmer for his permission to hunt on his land.
The owner, an old farmer, said, “Sure you can hunt, but would you be doing me a favor, sir? My old donkey standing over there is 20 years old now. She is deathly sick with cancer, but I just don’t have the heart to kill her meself. Would you do it for me?”
Sean answered, “Of course I will.”
While returning to the car, however, Sean decided to play a trick on his hunting buddies. He got into the car and said nothing.
Naturally, his buddies anxiously asked if the farmer had given his permission to hunt.
Sean said, “No, that old farmer said we can’t hunt here. So I’m going to teach that old man a lesson he won’t forget.”
With that, Sean lowered the window on his side of the car, pointed his gun out the window and shot the donkey. Then he shouted, “To be sure, that will teach the old timer.”
At that moment a second shot rang out from the passenger side of the vehicle and one of his hunting mates yelled, “And me, begorra, I got the cow.”

 

Sister Myotis preaches on the topic of “Thong Panties”. Amen!!!

 

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The resemblance of that cartoon to my actual conversation just last week with Impish is uncannily scary!

 

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9 Tech Superstars as Comic Book Characters

Ever wonder what superpowers Steve Jobs or Bill Gates would have in a comic book? Check out our what-if tech superheroes (and supervillains).

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Steve Jobs

After his painful initial ouster from Apple, Steve Jobs underwent a radical transformation. Pride and rage amplified his Reality Distortion Field and his impeccable design aesthetic into a powerful force capable of entrancing men, women, and children the world over. Now, millions of people have been filled with insatiable lust for the turtlenecked tyrant’s shiny tech baubles. Word has it that his secret hit squad, known as The Geniuses, “schedules a visit” with anyone foolish enough to resist their leader’s mind-bending magic.

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Bill Gates

Much like a certain ironclad superhero, Bill Gates once made billions by exploiting the world’s markets–except instead of selling weapons, he sold a horribly bloated operating system and a ubiquitous office suite. Shamed by the horrors that he had inflicted upon the world’s productivity, he decided to give back by fashioning his own superpowered suit to fight injustice (and malaria in Africa). Fun fact: His suit’s optical technology eventually found its way into the Kinect.

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Linus Torvalds

Linus Torvalds fights for truth, justice, and the inalienable right to use a computer without being beholden to anyone. Not only can he code whatever superhero tools he needs to fight for liberty–compiled from tarballs!–but he also gets support for his freedom-fighting ways from his loose-knit confederation of open-source allies. And, of course, his rascally penguin sidekick Tux provides comic relief.

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Ada Lovelace

Every tech superbeing can trace the origin of their powers back to Ada Lovelace and her work on the Analytical Engine in the 1800s. Official records state that she died shortly after she began to tap the true power of the computer, but conspiratorial types are convinced that she haunts the Internet, lending a hand to the good guys in times of dire need…a friendly ghost in the machine.

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Mark Zuckerberg

Although he does have the ability to throw the occasional sheep, Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t have superstrength or the ability to fly. What he does have is a database with every single piece of Internet communication you make on your phone or PC. That database contains information on everyone’s strengths, weaknesses, and secret identities. He calls it “Facebook.”

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Larry Page and Sergey Brin

Google cofounders Larry Page and Sergey Brin aim to solve the world’s wars, inequalities, and strife…by uniting everyone under the Google banner. This dynamic duo can always find whatever they’re looking for, and they have the uncanny ability to manipulate the weather (well, the cloud, anyway). Backing them up is an army of Androids with a penchant for sweets.

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Steve Ballmer

The Zune, the Kin, Windows Vista…well, those aren’t Steve Ballmer’s fault. He’s just really, really excited about Microsoft and technology, and before you know it he’s on the CES keynote stage shouting “DEVELOPERS!” over and over again.

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Carol Bartz

We wouldn’t even be talking about Yahoo anymore if it weren’t for Carol Bartz, who went off the deep end trying to restore Yahoo to its major-player status. She has trained in the ruthless art of Management Fu, and her loyal minions, the Yahooligans will stop at nothing (short of labor laws) to deliver her to Google’s seat of power. Or Facebook’s. She’s not picky.

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Steve Fox

You know that sinking feeling you get when you buy a brand-new gadget and think, “Man, this thing sucks?” PCWorld editorial director Steve Fox knows the feeling all too well: After having been bitten by a radioactive copy of Windows Me, he vowed to rid the world of baseless hype and too-smooth sales pitches. They say that “Steve Fox” is actually a title passed down from hero to hero, and that his powers are activated by reciting the PCWorld Oath:

In 4G blind spot
In Wi-Fi den
No bad tech is beyond my ken
Let shameless hucksters and pitchmen
Beware my writing,
Steve Fox’s pen!

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A dying granny was talking to her granddaughter:

“I may die any minute so I want you to inherit my farm including the villa, tractor, the farmhouse and all the livestock and $22,389,630.00 cash”.

The granddaughter replied: “Wow!!” ‘Thanks granny, I didn’t know you even had a farm & all this wealth! Where is it??”

Granny says with her last dying breath…..”It’s on my Facebook.”

 

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As two very proper English ladies were discussing their vacation plans on a London street corner one day, Miss Molly O’Malley, a fine Irish lady, who was waiting for the trolley could not help overhearing.
“We are planning a simply lovely holiday in Devon this year,” said the first Englishwoman in a haughty tone.
“Oh you mustn’t do that,” replied the second Englishwoman. “There are far too many Irish there in Devon! It would be simply awful.”
“Oh! Dear me!” said the first English lady. “Well, where are you going to go?”
“Salisbury,” replied the second woman in a knowing manner.
“But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish! That would be just terrible!” the first Englishwoman objected.
It was at this point that Miss Molly, the Irish lady, could bite her tongue no longer. “Why don’t ye both go t’ hell,” she interjected. “There’ll be no Irish there!”

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Although it was barely noon with the sun straight overhead, ol’ Fogarty already had a strong start at imbibing a healthy share of Guinness. In short, he was quite a bit nearer to a state of inebriation than he was to sobriety. Okay, truth be told, he was so drunk that he staggered from side to side as he walked along the street.
As he haltingly stepped first this way, then that, even a casual observer could see the state he was in. Two nuns who were approaching him noticed his condition immediately and were naturally quite nervous at the thought of passing near a man so drunk.
As they neared Fogarty, the two nuns split far apart with one walking wide to Fogarty’s left and the other walking just as wide to his right.
After the nuns had passed him by, Fogarty spun around and said, “Now how in the hell did she do that?”

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The Aussie, the Texan and the Canadian were having a bullshit session on this cruise ship.
The Aussie said, “In Australia we have sheep that are so big they take all day to be shorn.”
The Canadian said, “That’s nothing,  our cattle are so big the steaks have to be turned with a fork lift.”
The Texan said, “That’s nothing, we have te purdist cowgirls you ever done see with pussies this big.” (He then stretched his hands so wide that it’d do the biggest fish justice.)
“How do you screw them then?” asked the Canadian.
“Oh they stretch.”

Pissed OFf Blog

 

Well I made it a whole entire week before having to resort to a Last Word. Blame the fact this one is here at all on Impish. No seriously I’m not joking. When I told him about this revelation Friday night he was going to use it for his Last word on Saturday. Saturday Morning rolls around…Impish suffers total brain fart and cannot remember what it was we were talking over. OK it happens, he did have a house full of giggling nine year olds all night, that’s got to take a toll on anyone’s sanity.

I told him I was going to publish a Sunday Week In Review on this particular subject. I then spent the remainder of the day to draft the issue. It included the subject below, a couple reader comments and another short comment by me on the issue of the debt Ceiling stalemate.

I awake this morning to see that Impish ahs decided that the Binky and Ba~ba Brigade trumps anything that is scheduled previously and is more important that this serious travesty and insult. Thunder and readers attention having been usurped chances of reader paying anything more than cursory attention to anything not baby related for the rest of the day ZERO ZILCH NADA. So as you can see I had no choice but to go back on my word not to get out my soapbox to get this word on this travesty out and it really IS Impish’s fault.

9-11 Bill Does Not Cover Cancer

WTC heroes are being denied under the Zadroga Bill

After a long battle, the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act also know as 9/11 Responder Health bill passed last December amidst massive Republican foot dragging  and took effect this July.

The Zadroga Act provided a $2.8 billion federal fund for people with Sept. 11-related illnesses, and an additional $1.5 billion to monitor their health, according to the Associated Press. However, the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health determined there was too little scientific evidence linking cancer to time spent amid the dust and wreckage. The tragedy of 9/11 continues for many responders and their families in a very direct and sad way.

Jon Stewart just one of many champions of a bill, which will provide health care for first responders sickened at Ground Zero and used his show and the resultant bad publicity for Republicans to pressure all those involved to get off their backsides and get these people the help they so desperately needed, deserved and was certainly their due. Apparently that Republican foot dragging forced a compromise to get the bill passed which mean it does not cover CANCER!

Just when we thought we finally passed a bill to provide healthcare coverage to the 9/11 workers, we now find out the this bill does not cover cancer. Really?! It covers laryngitis and carpel tunnel, but not cancer. Apparently, there’s not a direct, proven link between the cancers suffered by the workers and the huge pile of carcinogen-laced debris they were cleaning up.

Wednesday, the news story broke that Doctor John Howard has stated to have found that there is not enough scientific evidence right now to add cancers to the list of diseases covered by the law signed late 2010 by President Obama. This doctor has come to this conclusion despite us knowing the type of cancer causing asbestos building insulation that exploded into dust that these heroes breathed in while saving lives or looking for body remains while working at “the pile”.  9/11 advocate, John Feal one of the strongest champions of the Zadroga Bill was understandably furious because he stated that he “has been to 53 funerals of 9/11 rescue worker victims– and 51 of those deaths were from cancer”.

When the WTC Twin Towers were brought down in the worst attack leveled against America, it released carcinogens from building insulation which contains fibers of asbestos.

In the aftermath of this tragedy, many of the firefighters and police officers who rushed in to save lives and people who worked on “the pile” looking for body remains became toxically sick. Many healthy people of that day eventually got cancer and died. Many suffer today from having this deadly disease, lost their source of income for themselves and families and have become prisoners’ of their own homes. Besides not being able to work and provide for their families, they have thousands upon thousands of dollars in medical expenses and debt mounting up– adding to their suffering, in their fight to remain alive.

Then-Governor of New York George Pataki signed into legislation the Zadroga Bill, a 2.8 billion compensation fund, named after Detective James Zadroga, on August 14, 2006. This bill was to expand death benefits to Ground Zero workers who died from cancer or respiratory diseases, under the presumption that the cause was due to exposure during recovery efforts. James Zadroga was the first NYPD officer whose death was attributed to exposure to his contact with toxic chemicals at the attack site.

Despite an initial synopsis by Gerard Breton, a pathologist of the Ocean County, New Jersey medical examiner‘s office, (who) conducted an autopsy in April 2006, and he reported, “It is felt with a reasonable degree of medical certainty that the cause of death in this case was directly related to the 9/11 incident.”This attribution made Zadroga, 34-years-old at the time of his death, the first 9/11 responder whose death was directly linked with toxic Ground Zero substances. Breton’s autopsy found what he described as “unidentified foreign materials” in Zadroga’s lungs, which were identified by the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology in Washington, D.C. as talc, cellulose, calcium phosphate, and methacrylate plastic; However, the examination did not compare the particles found in his lungs with actual dust from the World Trade Center site. Then Chief Medical Examiner Charles Hirsch and another medical examiner signed a statement that said “It is our unequivocal opinion, with certainty beyond doubt, that the foreign material in James Zadroga’s lungs did not get there as the result of inhaling dust at the World Trade Center or elsewhere”. Hirsch concluded that Zadroga died from self-injection of ground drugs, with Hirsch finding severe scarring in his lungs that he determined was caused by cellulose and talc granulomas and stating (through a spokesperson) that “The lung disease he had was a consequence of injecting prescription drugs. They tried to make James Zadroga’s death caused by prescription drug abuse. This discredited who he was—which was a healthy 34-year old detective –who was a first responder– or in other words a true hero. They stated that Zadroga injected Oxy-Contin in himself despite no needle track mark scars present. A third opinion obtained by Zadroga’s family later that month from Dr. Michael Baden, chief forensic pathologist of the New York State Police (and former New York City Medical Examiner), backed the original claim of WTC dust responsibility, citing the presence of glass fibers in Zadroga’s lungs that could not be related to injecting drugs.

(Any mistakes and/or confusion in the above quoted passage are courtesy of the Washington Post)

Asbestos and 9/11

The inhalation of asbestos glass fibers can cause serious illnesses, including malignant lung cancer, Mesothelioma (a formerly rare cancer strongly associated with exposure to amphibole asbestos), and asbestosis (a type of pneumoconiosis). Long exposure to high concentrations of asbestos fibers is more likely to cause health problems.

Six minerals are defined by the United States Environmental Protection Agency as “asbestos” including those belonging to the serpentine class chrysotile and those belonging to the amphibole class amosite, crocidolite, tremolite, anthophyllite and actinolite. There is an important distinction to be made between serpentine and amphibole asbestos due to differences in their chemical composition and their degree of potency as a health hazard when inhaled. However asbestos and all commercial forms of asbestos (including chrysotile asbestos) are known to be human carcinogens based on sufficient evidence of carcinogenicity in humans. There is without out a doubt that the building insulation used in the Twin Towers contained asbestos containing cancer causing carcinogens.

More than 1000 tons of asbestos are thought to have been released into the air during the destruction of the Twin Towers. Inhalation of a mixture of asbestos and other toxicants is thought to be linked to the unusually high death rate of emergency service workers from cancers since this tragedy. Many thousands more are now at risk of developing cancer dues to this exposure with those who have already died and being only the “tip of the iceberg”. Many have criticized authorities for using asbestos in the Towers’ construction.

Ten years after the towers fell there are still not sufficient studies to see if Ground Zero toxins caused cancer. The evidence will be required to be reviewed again a year from now but the sick and those mired in medical bills need our help now.

I urge You to contact your Senators and Representatives. to encourage law and policy makers to open more extensive studies NOW—not next month— or next year. (The links for finding their phone numbers assresses and e~mail addresses appear at the end) The sick may not have that long— and we can possibly cure some by seeing that they are treated properly and treated with the dignity that is worthy of United States hero. If we cannot save their lives we should not leave their spouses mired in crippling debt.

Common sense tells me that there is something radically wrong when most of the deaths are attributed to the 9/11 responders cancers. There was 1000 tons of cancer-causing asbestos building insulation, glass dust particles released into the air of NYC and surrounding areas. I am also calling for a ban on this type of scientifically known cancer causing product to be banned from further use on new construction projects and for our nation to come up with an effective insulation alternative, which is non-toxic. Every time there is a building fire, this hazardous material gets released.

The question needs to be raised why cancer was removed from the coverage compensation of this bill when most of the deaths are in fact from cancer?

On his show Thursday night, Jon Stewart said, ““Who gives a [bleep]? The worst-case scenario here is we accidentally treat a 9/11 responder’s cancer, even though his cancer may not be proven to have its gen­esis on 9/11.”   http://www.salon.com/news/morning_clip/?story=/politics/war_room/2011/07/29/steward_9_11_responders_cancer_coverage

 

Call and/or write your Congressional Representatives! Do not allow this travesty to go unprotested!

http://www.house.gov/

https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

http://www.contactingthecongress.org/

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

http://www.senate.gov/reference/common/faq/How_to_contact_senators.htm

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http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/911-first-responders-bill-does-not-cover-cancer-jon-stewart-is-mad-video/2011/07/29/gIQAq4m8gI_blog.html

 

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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One Response to Leprechaun Laughs #97 for Monday 08/01

  1. Dan from NYC says:

    When it comes to care for 9-11 recovery workers for once my Senators, Schmucker and Princess “Whatever Chuckie Says” Gillebrand as well as Rep. Noodler are on the same side of an issue as me and the vast majority of New York voters.

    Of course though when it comes to the Islamic “We Really Nailed Them” Victory Mosque posing as a Cultural Center these ass wipe apologist capitulating c^#ts are still trying to sell the “religion of peace” party line.

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