The day that this dragon has been called in for Jury duty! So, I won’t know until after you guys read this whether or not I’ve been selected as a juror, but we’ll see. I almost hope that I am since I’ve never done it before. But, we shall see…and then I’ll share with you guys.
But, I’m writing this from the perspective of Sunday, after starting the day with a GREAT sermon from Pastor at church this morning, then doing my normal Sunday chores. Sunday is about the only day that I have specific chores for a specific day.
That’s weird, right?
Well, Monday is trash day, so Sunday is trash collection day. Go through the house, empty all the waste baskets and the main trash can in the kitchen, check for any boxes that might need broken down or anything in the fridge that might need thrown out, that sort of thing. On a bad Sunday, takes 15 minutes to do with trading out of trash liners. Today, it was about 5 minutes.
The other “have to” chore on Sunday is setting up next week’s medicine. That can often be somewhat of a chore. ‘Nuff said about that. In fact, ’nuff said about a lot of stuff. So, everyone grab your gear, head for the next stop on your journey and I’ll see you on the other side…
This is now the debate de jour. Which side is bigger or which way do you prefer your toast cut or some other silly thing that has to do with the way it is cut. Does it really make any possible difference to anyone? And why do these things go around the internet sometimes?
My three-year old daughter was talking to me while I shaved. The topic was cartoons, television and reality. She was going into great detail about the characters in the Dragon Tales cartoon.
When she finished I said, “Honey, are cartoons real?”
“No.” was her brief reply.
“Is TV real?” I said looking at her.
“No.”
“I’m glad you know those things aren’t real,” I said patting her head.
“You know what’s real?” she asked wide-eyed.
“You tell me.”
“Monsters are real!” she said walking out.
“No they’re not!” I called after her.
“Yes they are!”
“No they’re not!”
“Yes they are!”
“No, honey,” I said. “Those scary things that occasionally come into our house is only Mommy’s family…”
THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE!
If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?
If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks the wife asked, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”
He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
“Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.”
No, she’s not.” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. “Well, what is it, then?” his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said. “Her name is Sally and she’s a battery salesperson.”
“Batteries?” cried the wife ……………………….
“Yes” he replied.
“Sally sells C cells by the Seashore.”
“He’s…he’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
Well, I’d say that qualifies as a “how in the world did that happen?”
That’s a great line!
Understanding relationships:
ATTRACTION- The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT- What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING- The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL- Avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men or spending time around young children.
EASY- A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT- A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman’s eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND- A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE- A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”
INTERESTING- A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT- What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY- How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC- A man’s term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
FRIGID- A man’s term for a woman who wants to have sex less often than he does, or one who requires more foreplay than lifting her nightgown.
SOBER- Condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
NAG- A man’s term for a woman who wants more to her life with him than just sex.
Three friends took their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas and they all had a great time.
A few days after they returned home, the men were sitting around talking about their trip.
“I don’t think I’m ever going to do that again!” says the first guy. “Since we’ve been back, my wife flings her arms and hollers ‘7 come 11’ all night long. I haven’t had a wink of sleep!”
“I hear ya, buddy,” the second guy replies. “My wife played blackjack the whole time we were there. Since we’ve been back, she slaps the bed all night and hollers ‘hit me light, hit me hard’. I haven’t had a wink of sleep either!”
“You guys think you have it bad!” exclaims the third guy. “My wife played the slots the entire time we were there. Every morning I wake up with a sore dick and an ass full of quarters!”
Joe from NJ sent this email to me concerning one of the items from an earlier issues…
How many caught the typo?
_________________
Threw out my back sleeping and tweaked my neck sneezing so I’m probably just on strong fart away from complete paralysis.
So…did you catch it?
At the Fairy Picnic
I hate when I go out in public and the public is there.
I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and turn it over, then find out it was made in China.
Weight Loss Goals: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
This picture goes way back…mom looks really good in this picture.
Fact Of The Day:
The Largest Flying Bird
Say hello to the Andean Condor, the largest flying bird on Earth. Found in the Andes Mountains of Peru, the condor weighs in at approximately 27 pounds, stands 48 inches tall, and has an amazing wingspan of 14 feet.
I golfed with a hilarious 78 year old man, and he was dishing out life tips the whole time. The most couldn’t care less guy I’ve ever met.
He tells me after the round, “Don’t talk to me in the parking lot, my wife is picking me up and she thinks I went deaf five years ago.”
What a legend.
You know you’re getting old when you run into your friends at the pharmacy instead of the night club.
Stephanie, who sent the above meme to me, both agreed that they do indeed marry each other…since both of us were proof.
If I ordered an axe from overseas and had it shipped, I would have a foreign axe sent.
The Wizard of Oz is 84 years old! If Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, heart, or courage, she wouldn’t be in Oz. She’d be in D.C.
Yup…I agree. In fact, that might be the stupidest thing I’ll read all week.
We should be able to call in healthy. “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.”
I keep telling myself to stop talking to weirdos, but then I would not have any friends left.
It was so windy that when I was walking to the gym, I got blown into the liquor store!
That is one old ticket!!
Count Dracula was 412 when he moved to England in search of new blood.
Sauron was 54,000 years old when he forged The One Ring.
Cthulhu had seen galaxies flare into life and fade to darkness before he put madness in the minds of men.
It’s never too late to follow your dreams!
Just imagine coming home late and getting into bed with your girlfriend. You tell her a funny story and the guy under the bed starts laughing, too.
Fact Of The Day:
Rent A Pineapple
Once upon a time, 18th century England to be exact, pineapples were rented for the night. They were such a status symbol that people would rent one and take it with them to a party or gathering.
The riddle: These 7 words all have something in common. See if you can figure out what it is! 1. Banana 2. Dresser 3. Grammar 4. Potato 5. Revive 6. Uneven 7. Assess
The Answer: In all the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.
My favorite character in the Wizard of Oz is the Scarecrow. I mean, come on, it’s a no-brainer.
Me either…truly. Except these…that’s it my friends. May your days be Blessed by God above until we meet here again. Love and Happiness be showed down upon you all.
It’s Saturday morning and I just read what I wrote for the opening to Saturday’s issue. Boy, I was in a bad way. That was terrible writing! I wrote it towards the beginning of the week.
Oh, and it was withdrawal I was going through. My doctor and I worked it out. Many people don’t realize that you can have withdrawal effects from many different kinds of medication. And I had been on this medication for many years and coming off of it and going on a different medication caused me some serious side effects.
Many years ago I was on a regimen of opioids and morphine pills for pain that was, shall we say, quite extensive. Then the whole “opioid crisis” started up and I had to go to a “Pain Clinic” to see a special “Pain Doctor” and, well, long story short, they were so annoying, and so expensive at a time when I really couldn’t afford it. Plus, I truly believe that someone in their lab knew I worked for the government and switched my urine with someone else’s urine (oh yeah, monthly urine tests like you were probationary criminals, just to get the medications you used to get at the pharmacy every month) because they knew that I couldn’t have anything in my urine because it would cost me my job. I did say long story short, right? I got tired of their nonsense, quit all the opioids and morphine and everything, cold turkey and had no withdrawal symptoms at all.
I had pain.
Boy did I have pain. But, it’s just pain. I learned to deal with it.
The point of this story, that seems to have gotten off track, is that I was extraordinarily surprised that stopping this medication and going on another similar one really, REALLY knocked me around this week. And that has NEVER happened to me before. It was a new experience; and not a pleasant one.
The other thing that needs to be said, thanks to you guys for listening and …
LOL! I’ve actually had that experience in Germany. After that I never made it to the far left lane on the autobahn unless I was all alone on the road…which was a rare, RARE thing.
So Friggin’ Pete writes to us and says:
For the life of me I can’t understand if you know me well enough to invite me to your Halloween party……why don’t you know me well enough to not ask me to bring cookies……
So, I was looking at something else and got drug down this rabbit-hole on my favorite weapons platform, the A-10 Thunderbolt II. I looked at one, and then got sucked down into about an hour or more of A-10 stuff. I loved loading that bombs on the bird…even though it gave me stitches in my head about 5 times. That darn UHF antenna!! Anyway, this is one of the better videos that I found and I hope you enjoy!
Oh, and don’t let the title fool you. They don’t talk at all about any secret plans to send them to Ukraine, it is just mentioned as a good idea and the implied super upgrade, is just the the normal modification to the A-10C model. But still a VERY COOL video.
That is so true.
I’m really going to have to try this.
And our good buddy and fellow camper Stephen B sends this…
So you got this one…
But did you know this one?
If Delaware wore her New Jersey, what would Ohio wear?
I dunno, but Alaska.
I didn’t know either one of them…but I do, now. It’s getting a little wordy in here.
My own personal favorite is Wendy’s Baconator!
And Stephen B. also sent another interesting fact, based on another cartoon that was used…
Are you aware…
…that Timmy never fell in the well in the TV series?
“Jon Provost, who played the role, titled his 2007 memoir Timmy’s in the Well—but in the book, he points out what might seem unbelievable to us now: Timmy never once, in the show’s 571 episodes, fell in a well!”
We had a nice little conversation back and forth by email and we also determined that, believe it or not, Sherlock Holmes never said, “Elementary, my dear Watson.” Thanks Steven, you’re are a font of quite interesting information.
Some of the best times I’ve had are spent alone, in the sky, with my thoughts…
Yeah…try talking about the 70s
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”
“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”
Yeah, heaven forbid.
A tight dress is like a barbed fence.
It protects the premises without restricting the view.
Two mothers were talking about their sons.
The first said, “My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn’t smoke, and he hasn’t so much as looked at a woman in over two years.”
The other woman said, “Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn’t he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn’t touched a drop of liquor in all that time.”
“My word,” the first mother said. “You must be so proud.”
“I am,” the second mother replied. “And when he’s paroled next month, I’m going to throw him a big party.”
Okay, we all saw that coming.
Another one of our vacation homes.
These are taken from resumes and cover letters and were apparently printed in Fortune Magazine:
I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.
Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
Its best for employers that I not work with people.
Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.
You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
RULES FOR DOGS
VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.
BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark— a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark… Yeah, this is the one that I like best.
LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.
HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won’t notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they’ll think it’s gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.
DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.
THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.
DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It’s also a good time to practice your sniffing.
HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.
GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.
PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don’t injure yourself.
CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never— quite—catch them. It spoils all the fun.
CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry….Eat a shoe.
A saleswoman is driving through an Indian reservation toward home when she sees an Indian woman thumbing for a ride on the side of the road.
As the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Indian woman gets in.
After a bit of small talk, the Indian woman notices a brown bag on the front seat.
“What’s in the bag?” asks the Indian woman.
“It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband,” says the saleswoman.
The Indian lady is silent for a moment then says, “Good trade”.
I can verify the veracity of that statement…as, I’m sure, can many of you.
Joe and Dick went out drinking one night and didn’t get home till the wee hours.
They see each other the next day at work and Dick asks, “Did your wife have much to say when you got home last night?”
Joe replies, “No, but that didn’t keep her from talking for two hours.”
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after an entire semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.
One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
They found his answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
Real Science Papers Written by Kids
One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change into a sun in the daytime.
A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to become oil.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog’s tongue will kill the strongest man.
Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live in other places.
Not sure if that one … and some of the upcoming ones … are really that “political” but since I’m running a bit low in my political category, we’ll take what we can get and laugh just the same. Right?
LOL! Okay, there is a bit of a difference here. Nobody wants a drug addict with a gun. Especially not the legitimate gun owners.
Well, writing this from the perspective of the day before any prospective shut down, I don’t believe enough of them are concerned about it. And that’s the biggest problem that should be addressed. If you and I waited until the last possible moment to address our own personal budgets or allowed our households to run at an enormous deficit, it would be wrong on so many different levels. These men and women are NOT doing the jobs they were hired to do. This is all part of their job description. This should have been hammered out, worked out and completed PRIOR TO the end of the fiscal year. But one party will ALWAYS play games with the other party and we do this stupid dance every single time. We hired these folks to take care of this country. AND THEY ARE NOT DOING IT. There is an invasion going on at the southern border. They want to sent another huge bunch of money to Ukraine when we have a $33 trillion deficit in our country. It’s a wonderful thing to help out the needy. A Godly Blessed thing. But we have needy right here at home. That’s all I’m saying. They are not doing the job we hired them to do. It’s time to fire the ones who aren’t doing the job and replace them with ones who are. I know that sounds awfully simplistic and probably a bit naïve, but folks, it’s got to start somewhere.
They didn’t even do that. They said they’d use if for whatever they wanted to. Then they said they’d use it for the people, because they realized that, in turn, would free up other money to use on their nuclear program.
ROFLMAO! Yup, that’s the way it works.
RULES FOR DOGS WHO HAVE A HOUSE TO RUN
If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you can’t manage that in time, get to an oriental rug (or any good rug will do).
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything, just sit and stare.
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on your hind legs, and hammer with your forepaws.
When supervising cooking, stand behind the left foot of the cook, where you will be stepped on, picked up, and consoled with food.
When a door is opened, use it. When you’ve ordered an outside door opened, it is important to stand halfway out and think about several things. It is especially important during cold weather, rain, snow, or the mosquito season.
Begin people training early. Humans need to know the basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.
A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance.
“Shucks, I’d sooner spend my money on a cow,” said the farmer.
“Ah,” replied the salesman, “but think how silly you’d look riding around on a cow.”
“Humph!” retorted the farmer. “Not near as silly as I’d look trying to milk a bicycle!”
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
“Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.”
The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.
“Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.”
Real Signs and advertisements…
Signs In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”
In the window of an Oregon general store: “Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?”
In a Pennsylvania cemetary: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
On a Tennessee highway: “Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
From the safety information card in America WestAirline seat pocket:”If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member.”
On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”
On a delicatessen wall: “Our best is none too good.”
RULES FOR THE BOSS (does this remind you of someone?)
Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:45 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.
Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.
Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway!
A man came into a shop with a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, “I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b.” “I don’t know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment,” said the owner.
“I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!” said the man.
“O.K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them.” Said the owner.
So the man went out and came back an hour later. “H-here-sss your m-m-money.” said the man. The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out. The man came back in two hours and said, “Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money.”
The owner said, “This is fantastic. You sold more Bibles in three hours than anyone has sold in a week. Tell me, what do you say to the people when they come to the door?”
“W-welllll,” said the man, “I r-r-ring the d-door bell, a-a-and s-s-say ‘H-Hel-Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w-want t-t t-to buy thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m’me t-toooo read it t-t-t-t-to you?”
Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor’s waiting room.
They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his penis and the other one had a green ring.
The fellow with the red ring was examined first.
In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, “Don’t worry, man, it’s nothing.
Vastly relived, the second man went into the examining room, only to be told a few minutes later by the doctor, “I’m sorry, but you have an advanced case of VD. I’m afraid you’ll have to be castrated.”
Turning white, the young man gasped, “But the first guy… He said it was no big deal!”
“Well, you know,” said the doctor, “there’s a big difference between gangrene and lipstick.”
Interesting facts about Leonardo da Vinci
Born out of wedlock to a notary from Vinci, Leonardo’s origin was swiftly quieted by his grandfather as his father sired him with a peasant woman named Caterina. His deep attachment to his mother, whose absence he keenly felt, found expression in his artistic creations. His encounter with her is rumored to have occurred solely at her deathbed. In spite of Leonardo’s exceptional talent and the tutelage of Verrocchio, he was unlettered in Greek and Latin – a consequence of his illegitimate status barring him from a traditional humanist education. He candidly referred to himself as ‘omo senza lettera’, or a man without letters. His stay in Florence was marred by an accusation of sodomy, a disgrace he barely escaped by avoiding the gallows, but could never entirely distance himself from. Leonardo’s lack of formal education didn’t endear him to Lorenzo the Magnificent in the sophisticated Medici circles, leading him to venture elsewhere for fortune. Endowed with a range of skills, Leonardo was not just a painter, but also a scientist, architect, engineer, and even a musician. He found himself orchestrating shows and banquets at the ducal court. However, in spite of his numerous roles for the Duke, his financial condition was often strained, and he was frequently left pleading for alms from the Moor, likely Ludovico Sforza, the Duke of Milan. A relentless perfectionist, he was known to juggle myriad tasks concurrently, often frustrating his patrons with his constant procrastination. Leonardo’s thirst for knowledge was insatiable. A self-taught observer, he would spend his mornings studying the countenances of passersby, recording them in his notebook, later employing them as models for the apostles in The Last Supper. His observations were not limited to humans; they extended to the careful study of animal and plant species. His renowned painting, the Virgin of the Rocks, is said to depict hundreds of different plants from his studies. His writings, completed in distinctive ‘mirror writing’, from right to left, could only be deciphered with a mirror. His demanding nature and complex character led to the majority of his disciples abandoning him, with some tragically resorting to suicide. As legend has it, he frequented graveyards at night to dissect bodies for studying human anatomy, an act that led to accusations of witchcraft. Leonardo’s lifelong dream, bordering on obsession, was to enable human flight. His radical ideas were dismissed as madness, leaving his ambitions unrealized. He was a visionary ahead of his time, a misunderstood genius. In his final days, he was in foreign lands, in a state resembling exile, accompanied by a few loyal followers, but largely forgotten. While Raphael’s fame soared in Rome, Leonardo’s memory faded. Today, he is a subject of fascination, his life and works extensively speculated upon by authors like Dan Brown in the popular novel, The Da Vinci Code, exploring a purported hidden truth about the Holy Grail and Leonardo’s The Last Supper.
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital.
“This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you.
The men on this floor are almost well.”
We spend so much effort sometimes, going over the things that are bad and disturbing in life, even most of my asides in Dragon Laffs lately have been more rants than praises lately. It’s been so hard to find good news to talk about. Well, our brother and fellow camper, Sasquatch sent an email called Positive Pictures of Humanity and although I know I’ve run it before and although I know it’s not the most recent of things, it’s still a wonderful thing to review and to exhort. So, please enjoy these with me…
March 2019
July 2014
February 2017
August 2016
1969
April 2016, September 2019, July 2022, and too many others to list
September 2017
November 2021
May 2000
November 2018
June 2015
And I went on line and tracked each one of these down and put the dates in and read some of the articles that go along with the pictures. I was disappointed to find out that one of them that was sent to me was faked. This one….
The picture was photoshopped as an April Fools joke and the someone else took it and added the words to it later. It just goes to show you. Well my friends, that’s it for now. May God Bless you and keep you until next time.
So, I think I’m going through a really bad bout of depression. I’m not sure. I know that sounds strange. Not the depression part, but the I’m not sure part. It’s weird. I’m getting emotional at weird times and over weird things. So… The doctor on Friday took me off one medication and put me on a different one and I think I might have a slight case of withdrawal going on. Which has NEVER happened to me before, so I’m not really sure. Light headed, lethargic, fuzzy, really tired, but that could also be the depression hitting me hard.
So, I’m not sure why I started today out talking about this, except maybe that it’s on my mind. And you guys are the ones that I talk to about this stuff. It’s kind of like having my own personal group counseling session without the … you know … whole session thing. And I get to talk and no one else does, at least not right away.
Anyway, enough about that. Let’s move on to much more enjoyable things. Like laughter. I especially could use some of that today. Thank you all for all that you do to bring light and laughter into my life. That allows me to share it with you and it makes ALL of us have a brighter day.
Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though.
One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis.
Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right.
“So that’s why it hurts so much,” her daughter said. “My appendix is on the wrong side.”
Friggin’ Pete wanted us to know, in a comment he writes…
Friggin Pete
10 hours ago
Dragon Laffs #2231
I appreciate you liking the little essay on opening the gates but, I did not write that one. I so agree with it so, I knew you would too.
Tis true brother Pete. I did agree with it and enjoy it. Thanks for sharing.
A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions.
“Professionally employed?” he asked.
“We’re a military family,” the wife answered.
“Children?”
“Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve,” she answered proudly.
“Animals?”
“Oh, no,” she said earnestly. “They’re very well behaved.”
“So, then when I was just a young dragon, I found it was just as easy to make people laugh as it was to burn down villages. Sometimes it was even as much fun. Hey, are you sure this is for your magazine story?”
Reality…
“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in ancient times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.
“YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well… that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, , they can probably put some of your things in your pockets.
“YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY” Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you’ve just learned it doesn’t mean it’s new. Other people already knew it.
“THE SKY’S THE LIMIT” Well, how can the sky be the limit? The sky never ends. What kind of a limit is that? The earth is the limit. You dig a hole and what do you keep getting? More earth. The earth is the limit.
“YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR” Clearly this is not true. Have you been on-line shopping recently? Only a very naive person would believe that you get what you pay for. Have you checked you telephone bill, or Visa account lately?
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY” Not necessarily true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can’t be sure. If it happens, I’ll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it will be today again.
“NICE GUYS FINISH LAST” Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third. Actually, short guys finish last.
“IF YOU’VE SEEN ONE, YOU’VE SEEN THEM ALL” Do we even have to talk about this one? This should be obvious. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen one. If you’ve seen them all, only *then*you’ve seen them all.
“EVERYBODY HAS HIS PRICE” Not so. Would you believe there are millions of people who do not have their price? Thanks to a IRS mix-ups, and E-Bay, many people have someone else’s price.
I bet there are a bunch of people who are not going to get that one.
At a party celebrating the sale of her recipe to a fancy Charles Street restaurant, an old matron goes up to Mrs. O’Malley and says, “My dear girl, what is the secret of your bean soup?”
Mrs. O’Malley says, “The secret to me soup is that I use but two-hundred thirty-nine beans to make it.”
The woman says, “How come only two-hundred thirty-nine?”
“Because one more would make it too farty!”
So, Lynn wrote… Well, I’m at the emergency room . This day has kinda taken a turn for the worst. I got the chance to go horseback riding, something I haven’t done in a while. BIG mistake. I got on the horse and started out slowly, but I got cocky. So we started going a little faster and before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. And when I tried to stop the horse, I couldn’t stop him, he must have gotten spooked or something. He was out of control, so I decided to try to jump off the horse, and instead, I fell off, but as I was falling, my foot got caught in the stirrup , so the horse was dragging me. And he wouldn’t stop. Every time I screamed at him to stop, the horse went faster. Thank goodness the manager at Family Dollar came out and unplugged the machine. But he had the nerve to take the rest of my quarters so I wouldn’t attempt to ride it again.
And I’ll be honest, at first I thought she was being honest. Just at very first. LOL.
And this one is here simply because it is a cool picture.
Threw out my back sleeping and tweaked my neck sneezing so I’m probably just on strong fart away from complete paralysis.
America has been at war 222 out of 239 years since 1776. Let that sink in for a moment…
I believe in safety in numbers:
.22, .40, .45, 9mm, 30-06, .223
Married men should forget their mistakes; there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
When one door closes, sometimes you wanna get a hammer and nails and make sure that son-of-a-gun STAYS SHUT!
Thunderstorm woke me up and my first thought was to brew coffee in case the power went out. I’m sure folks here can relate.
Sucks how almost every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.
I’m always here if ever you should need moron support.
It’s like moral support only stupid.
The trouble with ignorance is it picks up confidence as it goes along.
If I had a time machine I’d probably just keep going back to bed.
Fact Of The Day:
Who Is Shigetaka Kurita?
Who is Shigetaka Kurita and why do you already know who he is (even if you think you don’t)? Kurita holds the distinction of being the person who created the very first emoji! While working in Japan in 1999, he designed the 175 pixel emoji that would eventually start a world-wide craze.
When Tom Hanks writes his memoir it should be called…
“T. Hanks – For the Memories”
Tradition:
(n) Peer pressure from dead people.
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.
You only need to remember two things when you’re on my page.
1. They’re just jokes.
2. I don’t give a crap about your feelings.
And that’s another one in the books my friends. That’s it and I have to wrap it up for the day. May God Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again
I just finished up Monday’s issue and I thought I really ought to get a start on Thursday since I just have a feeling that this week is going to be a busy one. I don’t know why, but I just do. So, I don’t really have anything to say and I am REALLY tired of sitting behind this keyboard, so I’m going to just get it going and then maybe come back to it before I have to go and pick Izzy up from work, how does that sound?
There are people out there training for marathons…
And here I am, on the couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger.
The other day I spotted an albino Dalmatian.
It’s the least I could do for him.
Man, how many youngsters would have no clue and would be calling that number…would that not be an AWESOME number to have!!!!
Someone is NOT following the rules.
Where did Captain Hook buy his hook…???
At a second hand store!
I just deleted a very good friend for posting “Jobs should higher you weather you have a fella knee or mister meaner“
My co-worker said to me today: You shouldn’t eat red meat!
I said: My grandfather lived to be 100 years old.
He said: Did he eat red meat?
I said: No, he minded his own business.
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny
Judge: What?
Lawyer: He’s in a cent.
Judge: You’re going to jail with him
It’s all part of His plan. Trust it all.
It’s all there. Dig deep. It’s just pain.
A patient inquiring about birth control was adamant she wanted an IED…(which we all know stands for Improvised Explosive Device)
Zoomer got Tik Tok
Millennials got MySpace
Gen X got AOL
Boomers got to buy a house and go to college while supporting themselves with a minimum wage job
Well, maybe not a minimum wage job, but … well…yeah.
My son on why Caleb is his best friend at kindergarten: He doesn’t really speak English, so we can skip all the talking and just get right to the karate.
This one is from Joe from NJ. Nudist Camp Owner on the old TV Show “What’s My Line” From a time that was so much simpler than now.
Imagine the Olympics but instead of it being world class athletes it’s just random people who get selected. Like you get a letter informing you you’ve been selected for the national gymnastics team and you just have to do it. It’d be so much more entertaining.
So, Friggin’ Pete writes and says:
So, I found this new route to the store……I’m feelin a shopping frenzy comin on…..
Thinking about the time that I said that I was distantly related to Marie Curie and a guy explained, “It’s pronounced Mariah Carey.”
Disgusting
Stealth Jet
Sex after a certain age should be removed from the list of sins and placed in the list of miracles!
The most dangerous animal in the world…
Is a smiling woman sitting in silence.
You’re as smooth as taters and whiskey. Or whatever Chris Stapleton said.
What if Snow White was just pretending to be asleep so she didn’t have to clean up after little people anymore?
I totally get that.
Lemon Story
Have you ever met someone so stupid you felt bad for their dog?
Some people will watch you fall like a star and make a wish for their own well-being.
~ Shilpa Goel
My girlfriend pissed me off in my dream so when I woke up and told her about it she said, “it was probably something you started” and somehow I ended up apologizing.
Nothing starts my day off quite like when I give inspirational messages to my friends. May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear not ride up your butt.
And that’s it. A pretty bland issue as issues go, but fun, none-the-less. I hope you enjoyed it just the same. May God Bless you all until we meet again.
So it’s now Saturday morning and I am in a rush to get this done for Monday, so I can get started for Thursday because, like I’ve mentioned several times before, I am busy Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. And…AND…if you guys were paying attention to today’s (Saturday’s) episode, I have a letter to share with you that I REALLY want your opinion on, that you will find in the Political section.
The first thing I did this morning was check on the comments. Well, okay, that’s technically a lie, so let’s be honest. The first thing I did this morning was play Wordle and Connections on the NYT website. Something I do every day. Something I highly recommend to ALL of you. You want to keep Alzheimer and Dementia away? Here is the greatest thing you can do. I’ll give you the secret. Go get a paper and pencil and write this down. It’s important. Go on, I’ll wait.
KEEP YOUR MIND ACTIVE AND ENGAGED WITH REAL STUFF!!! Not mindless television. Not stupid stuff. REAL things that make you THINK! Do crossword puzzles. Do math puzzles. READ!
READ!!
I’m serious here. Every day I do the Wordle, the Connections, a Killer Sudoku, I was doing the NYT crossword until they started charging me for it (I think I had a trial to it or something, but it made me made when they wanted to charge me money to do a darn crossword puzzle and I stopped and none of the other ones were really hard enough) and of course I READ!! I’m normally in the middle of a few books at once.
So, back to where we were. The first thing I did was what I just said, then I got gas and mowed the lawn, THEN I checked for comments and didn’t find any when I was sure I would find something from someone. So I jumped right in and that’s where we are…
Okay, so that was a long way to go to get to say…
Stephen B. sent me this very special picture…I want you guys to try and figure it out…
It is a dog. The bottom which you think is a mouth is an ear and the dog is facing up to the ceiling.
Dude, that is wrong on so many, many different levels.
Okay, so that was beautiful.
Two friends, one very wealthy and the other quite poor, were sitting in a bar late one night.
They were talking about different things when the poor man asked the rich man,
“So what did you end up giving your wife for her birthday, the Mercedes or the diamond ring?”
“I got her the Mercedes and the diamond ring,” says the rich man.
The poor man, a bit puzzled, asked, “Why the heck did you get her both?”
The rich man replied, “I got her both so if she doesn’t like the ring, she can drive her new car back to the jeweler’s to exchange it. So… What did YOU buy for YOUR wife?”
The poor man says, “I bought her a pair of flip-flops and a dildo.”
Obviously confused, the rich man asked why he chose those items.
The poor man replied,
“Because if she doesn’t like the flip-flops, she can go screw herself!”
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
– Charles Schulz (1922-2000)
I had no idea this was so much of a thing. I really kind of thought it was just a Jersey thing. Raising little Jersey Thugs. Turns out, it’s all across the country…maybe the whole world! Just a fast Google search turned up SO MUCH! Here’s just a quick sample…
And this one I love!
Okay, so that’s the end of the little Red Rover docudrama.
LOL! Okay, that’s the perfect sign to come next! LOL!
Impish Dragon for King! Okay, okay. So…maybe not King. How about for President?
Hey! Me too!
No…sadly, it’s Monday. About as far from Friday as you can possibly get.
Okay, I’m going to tell you RIGHT NOW that this next one is from Joe. Joe sent this in. Joe from NJ. Just so you know. Not sayin’ anything else, just letting you know that JOE SENT THIS NEXT ONE IN.
(I ain’t gettin’ blamed for this one…)
How do you make an orange laugh?
Tickle its navel
(Sorry brother, I shouldn’t have thrown you under the bus like that, but … damn!)
Wait! Wait! This one is so much better!!!
Okay Impish, it’s about time for you to get a little mental health, brother. This issue has issues! You are really going a bit far afield and … well … just plain WEIRD! PULL IT TOGETHER DRAGON!
Ha, Ha, Ha!!! In your 30s!!!
My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank.
The operator asked me what Ian’s last name was and I explained that he hadn’t left his surname.
When she asked for his department, I said I didn’t know.
“There are 1500 employees in this building, ma’am,” she advised me rather curtly.
After a few more brusque comments, I asked her for her name. “Danielle,” she said. “And your last name?” I asked.
“Sorry,” she replied, “we don’t give out last names.”
Okay, so actually out of all the silly assed Star Trek memes, that one was pretty good.
And there we are back again.
Poor Bob. Ever notice, the poor schmucks name is always Bob…
Real mothers don’t eat quiche; they don’t have time to make it.
Real mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens, and happy kids.
Real mothers know that dried playdough doesn’t come out of shag carpet.
Real mothers don’t want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real mothers sometimes ask “why me?” and get their answer when a little voice says, “because I love you best.”
Real mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured by height or years or grade… it is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom…
“Sweetheart, the kids are at home, we need to go pick up the pizza and get back before they realize we’re gone. So hurry it up.”
Our local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago.
The first Sunday, his sermon lasted 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday he preached for an hour and a half.
I asked him about this.
He then told me “Well, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were still hurting a lot.
But the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures and I couldn’t stop talking!”
PHRASES FOR YOU TO USE IN AN INTERVIEW
Phrase: I’m extremely adept at all manners of office organization. Meaning: I’ve used Microsoft Office.
Phrase: I’m honest, hard-working and dependable. Meaning: I pilfer office supplies.
Phrase: I take pride in my work. Meaning: I blame others for any mistakes.
Phrase: I’m personable. Meaning: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.
Phrase: I am very adaptable. Meaning: I’ve changed jobs a lot.
Phrase: I am on the go. Meaning: I’m never at my desk.
Phrase: I’m highly motivated to succeed. Meaning: The minute I find a better job, I’m outta here.
7-Up’s original name was “Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda.”
That’s pretty much my theory on the whole thing. AND…with the crappy and dangerous stuff that I work with on a regular basis that haven’t killed me yet, I figure I’m pretty much immune to the normal bugs and flu stuff that floats around that the rest of ya’ll get.
I’ve known feral housewives…fun times!
I wonder if Mexicans ever say, “Let’s go to the White People’s Restaurant”?
When you’re okay with naked strangers dancing for children, but go apocalyptic when adults pray to God — You’re on the side of evil and we’re done pretending any different.
For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version…it doesn’t listen to anything.
I wasn’t sure about this one at first, so I looked it up to be sure…and I was right in my assumption and now exact in my knowledge. I figured the Jewish calendar was higher than the one we normally use and it is. It is either the year 5783 or 5784 in the Jewish calendar. That’s a lot more calories than 2023.
That is so sad.
This next one is another great, short essay from Friggin’ Pete. I enjoy his writing. And this one will not disappoint.
If you leave the gate open, the cow will wander off. So, if you intentionally leave the gate open, you want the cow to wander off. You can’t blame stupidity or laziness. It was intentional.
If you cut police budgets, you will get more crime on the streets.
If you cut back the supply of oil, gas prices will go up.
If you print trillions of dollars without increasing the supply of goods, inflation will hit hard.
If you leave the southern border wide open, you get more drug trafficking and human trafficking.
If you shut down 40% of the supply of baby formula in February, you’ll get a huge shortage. When you KNOW a huge baby formula shortage is coming because of the FDAs actions, and you purposefully do nothing to prevent it, month after month, until the crisis finally hits hard, you INTENDED this crisis.
It is time to recognize the evil people behind that old man. They want crisis. They want chaos. They want riots. They want conflicts in your town.
Their stated purpose years ago with Obama was to “take the US down a few notches on the world stage.”
You can feel the quality of your life going down with the country.
These are not foolish or incompetent people who don’t know what they are doing, these are people who have purposely opened every gate on the farm because…..they want YOUR cows!!
Very well said my friend. And we try very hard to try and convince you to keep a close eye on your cows, and point out where the evil people are. And the next letter (the one I told you about) I found out isn’t really a letter. It was sent to me as a letter, but is really an article from a website called ACT For Canada. And it dovetails quite nicely with Pete’s essay above, although MUCH darker and MUCH deeper. But, we’ll get to that in a moment. Let’s do a couple more of these first…
Okay, since it is an article, I’m going to give you the link https://www.actforcanada.ca/l/return-of-the-knights-templar-usa/ to said article so you can go and check it out for yourself. I’m going to leave it up here in it’s entirety and put some comments of my own in blue. Again, I’d really like to know your opinion.
Return of the Knights Templar USA
By: Theodore Wilson
September, 14, 2023
Throughout the years, tales about the Knights Templar have provoked intrigue and fascination about this medieval order. Some people believe that when King Philip of France resolved to destroy them, the Knights Templar went underground and still exists today.
Indeed, such a body has risen to power this millennium and presents the same stature and power of dominant control over the world. The factual origin of the Knights Templar, their financial impact and wealth, and the institutions they founded mirror the present World Economic Forum.
After the First Crusade (1096-99), Hugues de Payens, a knight, and Bernard of Clairvaux, an abbot, both from Troyes, France, created a religious military order called the Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and the Temple of Solomon (1118), better known as the Knights Templar. Under the Papal Bull issued by Pope Innocent II, they were exempt from taxes, could own their oratories, and were subject only to the Pope.
The Knights Templar, known as brave and fearlessly skilled warriors, selfishly took advantage of their independence from royalty and used their position to accumulate an immense amount of wealth. Templars created the banking system and became the primary lending institution of Europe for monarchs, nobles, and bourgeoisie merchants
Their sphere of business consisted of the largest depository of money in the world and a vast network of property, and they ran the accountancy and auditing processes of the French government. The vastness of their wealth equated to power, and they were in control over the world.
By the beginning of the Fourteenth Century, the economic plight of the monarchy and nobles who were heavily in debt made them realize that they were being held servants to the Knights Templar. (Like the rest of us being held captive to the ones who hold the wealth)
King Philip IV of France resolved to re-establish the sovereignty of the monarchies, and arrested the Templars in Paris, including Jacques de Molay (1307). Gradually, over seven years, the Knights Templars were arrested all over Europe. Many were tortured, executed, or signed confessions of corruption and were banished. King Philip and King Edward II of England seized most of their wealth.
Today, elite billionaires have formed a society modeled after the Knight Templars of the past, and they call themselves the World Economic Forum. They meet secretly in Dabos, Switzerland under the platform of global warming. (I don’t understand the global warming. Anybody with an ounce of brains in their head knows what a farce that is, but yet so many people are charging forward with the STUPID electric vehicles, no gas stoves or appliances and the latest nonsense to redesign ceiling fans? Are you kidding me? Are you people actually that moronic? Global warming IS NOT SCIENCE! It’s control.)
The WEF has carefully orchestrated events, and the accomplishments of these modern Templars have become a shock of reality, they are taking control of the world.
The power structure of the World Economic Forum billionaires hinges on the swift hand of the bankers and financial institutions in the United States, including Black Rock and Morgan Stanley Capital International’s (MSCI), who formed what has become known as the ESG, an abbreviation for environmental, social, and corporate governance.
The power of the ESG clutches the entire world under the auspices of the United Nations and implements the environmental and socioeconomic policies that are dictated by the World Economic Forum and ESG. They control governments, corporations, and educational institutions to socially engineer the racial antagonism of the Woke movement, and LGNNTQ+, among others. (It’s all evil.)
Evidence indicates that the wealth of Black Rock Inc. exceeds 30 percent of the world’s money, and assets up to about 55 trillion dollars. The wealth of the Templars behind this corporation has become greater and more powerful than almost every country in the world. (If I remember correctly, the United States is 30 Trillion dollars in debt and these guys control about a third of the wealth in the world at 55 trillion…so that means that our debt equals about what? 20% of the world’s wealth?!?!)
That they have cornered the world economic markets, and taken control of national and local governments, exemplifies the power and capabilities of the Knight Templars, and soars beyond the imagination of average citizens. They are real and evil, following the path of fascism that leads to the doorstep of China and the Communist Party.
The ESG has launched a war against the American People in the dark shadows much like the Ho Chi Minh Trail that burrowed underground in Vietnam. You can’t see them and don’t realize that they exist, but they are there, working diligently to overthrow the United States government.
Hidden from conscious reflection are citizens who have experienced the repercussions of the woke movement. They have witnessed how the learning environment in schools has been kidnapped by the liberals in the Blue States. The hard-handed might of the ESG policies has unveiled the revelation that parents no longer have rights over their children in public schools. (Yeah! Read this article to scare the heck out of you! https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2023/09/cps_sicced_on_a_dad_after_his_daughter_came_home_from_school_with_antidepressants_.html)
Why? They are shrewd and well indoctrinated in the principles unveiled in Das Kapital, Karl Marx’s seminal work that describes “how it is to be done.”To achieve their goal, they begin by alienating and radicalizing the American youth against traditional family values, and good character, and then the destruction of a nation’s culture.
Fascism relies on public opinion to accomplish its goals. Initially, they ignite a fire by creating demonstrations and riots, like those we witnessed before Biden was elected in 2020. Their platform goes against the grain, people reject it, but they must be convinced to submit to the takeover by new principles of life as apostles of human compassion to destroy the old society. (You didn’t think that all those BLM riots were accidents, did you? Why no one was ever really prosecuted? All the MSM said that it was just mild protesting?)
How can they do this? Simply by creating self-guilt and contempt for the system. Re-write history, and paint a horrible picture of society and the plight of the economic poor. By placing the guilt of the past on the shoulders of the present, people panic. Hence, we end up with the politically correct.
The population, in general, doesn’t immediately buy into this plot. People must be broken down mentally, programmed, and engineered socially. This carefully orchestrated platform has been implemented. It appears in every community and home in the nation that has televisions, computers, and a public school district. Conflicting views must be eliminated, and contrary speech and views must be out of sight and sound.
Censorship destroys dialog contrary to their platform. Large corporations are graded and then punished if they don’t meet the standards established by the ESG. The disturbing reality can be seen in Black Rock Inc., a United States company that implements Michael Bloomberg’s ESG platform through the hard hand of CEO Larry Fink.
Examples of how the Templars use their wealth for power are plentiful. George Soros donated hundreds of millions of dollars in major election races across the United States. Soros, for example, financed the riots in the summer of 2020 and invested over 100 million in municipal district attorney races in Blue States across the country if they pledged to support the ESG policies.
Mark Zuckerburg donated six million to officials in Fulton County, Georgia in 2020 to increase the number of Biden voters. Donations by Bill Gates to liberal candidates amounted to hundreds of millions of dollars dedicated to closing coal mines, reducing farming, eliminating gasoline engines, increasing abortions, and strengthening the LGBTIOA movement.
Black Rock (ESG) needed ultimate power. They financed a mentally disabled old politician who desperately wanted to be president. They now control the White House and masquerade as the Biden Administration. These Templars have orchestrated the liberal political agenda. With the aid of the FBI and the Justice Department, the Democrats have attacked Conservative politicians, often using excessive force to set an example to any conservative who resists the Biden Administration.
The television networks are owned by these billionaires, and they propagate the ESG agenda into the minds of disconnected citizens who no longer question or seek the facts. Both liberals and conservatives have been sucked into the World Economic Forum’s platform through the bombardment of algorisms and affirmations every time they turn on their computers and televisions for a daily dose of brainwashing.
Herein lies the reason for the Knights Templars’ need to employ censorship. They cannot win by revealing all the facts and must avoid all consequential discussions about issues to prevent people from awareness of the secrets in the dark shadows. The ESG confines information to affirmations about their political platform and omits the very truths that lead to an essential conversation.
The Knights Templar under the genius of master billionaires, including George Soros, Larry Fink, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Mike Bloomberg, are building a one-world government whose economics will be controlled by a single corporation under their control. Humanity will form a perfectly homogeneous society under their design.
Contradictory echoes continue to surface daily in the form of new testimony about the past 3 years. George Soros spent millions of dollars planning and carrying out the riots in the United States in the summer of 2020 before the national elections.
When a large number of witnesses to election irregularities and distortion of results spoke out, many Americans were outraged. They spoke out loudly about what they saw and demanded answers. Donald Trump didn’t convince Americans to drop everything and go to Washington. They went there on their own cognizance in opposition to what they believed was a rigged election. The FBI, loyal to Obama and the World Economic Forum movement, and Washington D.C. authorities, seized the moment to destroy conservative unification.
The Democrats surrounded the capital with a wire fence to symbolize that all Trump voters were rebels. They suspended the Constitutions to arrest and punish an exaggerated number of participants to justify the deaths of several demonstrators who lost their lives at the local authorities. A committee in Chicago was created to finance called “Stop Republicans,” and it served as a pipeline for the billionaires to funnel money for the future destruction of Trump and his supporters.
The COVID-19 epidemic itself falls off the scale of belief of Americans just as the assassination of John F. Kennedy. The uncertainties keep us scratching our heads. Important facts help paint a picture. The virus was man-made with tax dollars from the United States. Members of the World Economic Forum profited immensely. Dr. Anthony Fauci, who held part ownership rights to the production of the vaccine, participated in the project to create the virus. (No kidding)
Again, censorship played a main role. If you chose not to be vaccinated, you were labeled as the cause of the virus’ spread. Ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine were taken off the market, not because they weren’t approved for medical use for humans, they had been approved. The Templars proved they could control the world.
Fauci didn’t want people to know it was ineffective. As a result, the vaccine caused countless deaths and today people are still falling victim to serious medical complications because they were vaccinated.
The cards are face up on the table. The Knights Templar of the 21st. Century exists. They are evil. The number of conservative politicians, scientists, and personnel in the medical field whose lives and careers have been intentionally destroyed by the ESG during the epidemic are dwarfed by the casualties of COVID-19, and they provide testimony to ESG power.
The success of the ESG provides the perfect leverage for the World Economic Forum to take permanent control of everyone in the United States. Trump’s imprisonment will be an object lesson to all conservative individuals who surface as a leader who attempts to unite all conservatives in a movement against the Knights Templar. The Justice Department has become a weapon that can be used against all conservative Americans who choose to resist the Democratic Party’s platform. (Which again is why I ask you guys, who do we have out there who can stand up on the Conservative side?)
John Eastman, one of Trump’s attorneys was asked by authorities in Atlanta, Georgia if he believed the election of 2020 was stolen. “Absolutely,” Eastman answered, “I still believe that it was stolen.” Eastman was arraigned, arrested, and taken to jail. Anticipate the comic punchline of what it would be like if every American who believed that the election of 2020 was highjacked surrendered to the District Attorneys in the Blue States who are prosecuting Republicans. The courts will be stacked up for years while Americans wait for trial to stand up for their belief in freedom of expression.
To many, the contents of this article will appear “far out,” too difficult to believe or wrap around the mind. Readers who recognize that it makes sense, most likely will become fearful and ask themselves, “What can I do?” If the WEF and ESG are to be stopped, ask questions, get informed, and get involved in the election of a new president and congress in 2024. (Can we? Can we get an honest election in 2024?)
The meek remain compliant and they accept whatever pseudo-authoritative information fed to them by the ESG’s bull media. Questions or civil disobedience are not their forte. The silence of these citizens increases the credibility of the World Economic Forum and aids in strengthening the Knights Templars of the Twelfth Century.
However, the World Economic Forum can be derailed. The longer traditional Americans wait, the less likely that the Knights Templar will be stopped. Democrat, Republican, and independent leaders must unite. They must work together in Congress to break up corporate monopolies as they did during the Populist movement at the end of the Nineteenth Century, and they must restore equal opportunity in the capitalist economy.
Those who witnessed the first Republican debate for the 2024 election were thrilled at the number of candidates who are ready to battle the World Economic Forum. Only one will win the nomination, and in the end, the other candidates must support the leader if we are going to stop fascism. A united conservative front will provide an infirming indication that Americans will not stand idle if they watch the ballot boxes being stuffed and are then accused of being liars.
The Republican Party needs to create its own political issue committee as the Democrats did in 2020, not ugly and hateful, but to educate uninformed conservatives about the platform of the World Economic Forum and the ESG. There needs to be a mechanism in place to label and evaluate all corporations controlled by the Knights Templar. These companies should be listed, and available to the public, and as Americans, we can work together to fight the advancement of fascism and the prejudice of the woke movement.
I don’t know…after reading all that and going over it, my head hurts. What do you guys think? Truly, I want to know. I know that’s a bit heavier than the stuff we normally talk about here at Dragon Laffs, and we’ll get back to the fun stuff, I promise. But just for a couple of minutes, let’s be grown ups. Write back to me at impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com or impishdragon@gmail.com and let me know what you think.
Yeah, which one makes more sense to you?
Alright, I’ve had enough, back to the laughter…
I always get confused with the differences between elves, fairies, sprites, pixies, etc. I guess I just don’t understand the gnomenclature.
I was happily watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when the guy on triangle disappeared.
What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?
Artificial Swedener
That’s actually a pretty valid hypothesis.
Fact Of The Day:
The World’s First Animated Film
in 1917, Argentina released the world’s first animated feature film. “El Apostol,” a political satire had a running time of 70 minutes. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the film was made up of 58,000 drawings.
Fact Of The Day:
Trained By The CIA
During the filming of The Grinch (released in 2000), Jim Carrey was trained by the CIA. While making this movie, Carrey was put through “torture-endurance training” to help him go through the make-up process, which could take up to 8 hours to complete. [Side Note: Carrey also credited the soothing sounds of The Bee Gees as a big help during this make-up ordeal.]
Sometimes I stare at my husband when he isn’t looking and I think to myself… Wow… He is one lucky son of a gun.
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think of was, “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.”
EGO
is just a small three letter word, which can destroy a big twelve letter word called
RELATIONSHIP.
Wife: I’m terribly sick. Could you please call the vet?
Husband: Uhm, shouldn’t I be calling the doctor instead?
Wife: Listen…I work like a horse, live like a dog, share a house with a gang of monkeys, and sleep with an old pig. So please call the vet…
And that, my dear friends and fellow campers, brings us to the end of another adventure. I certainly hope you enjoyed this issue. And I hope I get a chance to entertain you again. May our dear gracious Father in Heaven Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again.
. This day has kinda taken a turn for the worst. I got the chance to go horseback riding, something I haven’t done in a while. BIG mistake. I got on the horse and started out slowly, but I got cocky. So we started going a little faster and before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. And when I tried to stop the horse, I couldn’t stop him, he must have gotten spooked or something. He was out of control, so I decided to try to jump off the horse, and instead, I fell off, but as I was falling, my foot got caught in the stirrup , so the horse was dragging me. And he wouldn’t stop. Every time I screamed at him to stop, the horse went faster. Thank goodness the manager at Family Dollar came out and unplugged the machine. But he had the nerve to take the rest of my quarters so I wouldn’t attempt to ride it again.
Dragon Laffs 
Friggin Pete
10 hours ago