It’s Saturday.  The first relaxing day this week!  I don’t have anything to say right now, so we’re just going to jump right into things.

Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,

“Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I’ve lost 20 pounds.”

“Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked her friend.

“Oh! Not yet.” the first replied, “I’d like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first.”

“However many holy words you read, However many you speak, what good will they do you If you do not act on upon them?” 

— Buddha

I copied this from a friend on FB.  It’s kind of old, but goes along well with some of the stuff we’ve been talking about lately and some of the stuff I’ve been dealing with lately

“I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. ‘I’m glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,’ I thought.

Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. ‘Where are you headed?’ I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.

‘Petawawa. We’ll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we’re being deployed to Afghanistan.’

After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time… As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. ‘No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn’t be worth five bucks. I’ll wait till we get to base.’ His friend agreed.

I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch.

I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. ‘Take a lunch to all those soldiers.’ She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. ‘My son was a soldier in Iraq ; it’s almost like you are doing it for him.’ Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated.

She stopped at my seat and asked, ‘Which do you like best – beef or chicken?’

‘Chicken,’ I replied, wondering why she asked.

She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. ‘This is your thanks..’

After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. ‘I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this.’ He handed me twenty-five dollars.

Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand and said, ‘I want to shake your hand.’

Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain’s hand. With a booming voice he said, ‘I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.’

I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers. Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.

When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars!

Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. ‘It will take you some time to reach the base.. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You.’

Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return.

These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little…

A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to ‘The United States of America ‘ for an amount of ‘up to and including my life.’

That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.’

” 🕵️‍♂️ Inspired? Feel free to share among your friends ❤

A blank check, for up to and including my life.  

I’ve had many nice things done for me over my very long life because I was a veteran either in uniform or out of it.  I’ve also been cursed at, called names and spit on…so it goes both ways.  Doesn’t really matter, because neither one of those, the good or the bad, is why I raised my hand and “so solemnly swore…”  I’m not going to tell you why now. For those of you who’ve been following this ezine for any length of time, you already know why.  And for the rest of you … well … you’ll figure it out.

Inside The Brutal Life And Gruesome Death Of King Henry II Of France

King Henry II was known to cut out the tongues of Protestants, but he faced a bloody death of his own when he was stabbed through the eye during a jousting tournament in 1559.

King Henry II of France was known for his brutality against Protestants. He would burn heretics alive and cut out the tongue of anyone who dared utter a word of dissent against the Catholic Church. But the monarch faced a gruesome death of his own when he was stabbed through the eye by a lance during a jousting tournament in 1559.

Keep reading the rest of this really interesting article sent in to us by our own dear Stephanie by clicking HERE.

Okay, here’s another one from Stephanie…click on the title to read the article.  And it’s just as wild as it sounds.

Groom discovers his bride is actually a MAN… TWELVE DAYS after their wedding: ‘Wife’ avoided sex by saying ‘she was on her period’

This next one was sent in by our multi-talented Stephen B.  It’s a really good story.  Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not.  I think it probably is, though.

True story? But a great read, and if you don’t get a bit misty you aren’t alive!

“Watch out! You nearly broadsided that car!” My father yelled at me. “Can’t you do anything right?”

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in th e seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn’t prepared for another battle.

“I saw the car, Dad . Please don’t yell at me when I’m driving..”

My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts…. dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often.

The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn’t lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn’t do something he had done as a younger man. Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing.

At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky… he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor’s orders.

Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults.

The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.

Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue.

Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad ‘s troubled mind.

But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered in vain.

Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, “I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article..”

I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair.

As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world’s aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed.

Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hip bones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. “Can you tell me about him?”

The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. “He’s a funny one..

Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we’ve heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.”

He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. “You mean you’re going to kill him?”

“Ma’am,” he said gently, “that’s our policy.. We don’t have room for every unclaimed dog.”

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision.

“I’ll take him,” I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch… “Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!” I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. “If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don’t want it” Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me.. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. “You’d better get used to him, Dad . He’s staying!”

Dad ignored me. “Did you hear me, Dad ?” I screamed.

At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp.. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad ‘s lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne .

Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years.. Dad’s bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne’s cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night.

I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father’s room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad’s bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad’s peace of mind.

The morning of Dad’s funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life.

And then the pastor turned to Hebrew s 13:2. “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

“I’ve often thanked God for sending that angel,” he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article…

Cheyenne’s unexpected appearance at the animal shelter…  his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father… and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Life is too short for drama or petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

And if you don’t send this to at least 4 people — nobody cares! But do share this with someone. Lost time can never be found.

God answers our prayers in His time…….. not ours.

But He does indeed answer them.  Thanks Stephen, that was really nice.

Joe from NJ wrote to me and posed me this question…

One thing has always troubled me: 

Where did Noah put the termites?

He probably meant to leave them off the Ark.  I know I would have.  

Maryland, Baltimore Law

It is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter  how dirty they get.

My wife and I had a big fight.  A BIG fight.  Afterwards she came crawling to me on her hands and knees…

Saying, “You come out from under that bed and fight like a man!”

A man walked into the ladies department of a Alders, one of the largest department store chains. 

He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. ‘I’d like to buy a bra for my wife’ 

‘What type of bra?’ asked the clerk. 

‘Type?’ inquires the man ‘There is more than one type?’ 

‘Look Around,’ said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material. 

‘Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,’ replied the salesclerk. 

Confused, the man asked what were the types. 

The saleslady replied ‘The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?’ 

Still confused the man asked ‘What is the difference between them?’

The lady responded ‘It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills

This was sent in by Joe from NJ and quite frankly, I don’t know whether to say thank you or not.

During Autumn of 2000, a team of scientists at the Department of Forensics at University College London removed a row of passenger seats from a Central Line tube carriage for analysis into cleanliness.

Despite London Underground’s claim that the interior of their trains are cleaned on a regular basis, the scientists made some alarming discoveries: 

This is what was found on the surface of the seats: 

* 4 types of hair sample (human, mouse, rat, dog) * 7 types of insect (mostly fleas, mostly alive) * vomit originating from at least 9 separate people * human urine originating from at least 4 separate people * human excrement * rodent excrement * human semen 

When the seats were taken apart, they found: 

* the remains of 6 mice * the remains of 2 large rats * 1 previously unheard of fungus 

It is estimated that by holding one of the armrests, you are transferring to your body the natural oils and sweat from as many as 400 different people. It is estimated that it is generally healthier to smoke five cigarettes a day than to travel for one hour a day on the London Underground. It is far more hygienic to wipe your hand on the inside of a recently flushed toilet bowl before eating, than to wipe your hand on a London Underground seat before eating. It is estimated that within London, more work sick-days are taken because of bugs picked up whilst traveling on the London Underground than for any other reason (including alcohol). 

And we believe you…sure we do.

HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SEE A CROWD OF DEFENSELESS PEOPLE DIE BEFORE WE REALIZE BEING DEFENSELESS ISN’T THE ANSWER?

Wow!  WOW!  I want so much to know what the outcome of this is.

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. 

The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. 

The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. 

After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it IS vanishing cream!” 

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” 

Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948)

Older than that!!!

Well, that’s it my friends.  All out of time and got to get some sleep.  Until next time.

So, it’s still Memorial Day as I start this.  And I’m in the middle of an essay based on “Thank you for your service.  I’m not sure where I’m going with it, but there’s also an awful lot of Matthew 25 in there and the parable of the Sheep and the Goats.  If you’re familiar at all with that parable, I’m sure you can see the parallel with “Service”.  

It’s been a depressing day for me today, thinking about old and distant friends and what some of them have given up and missed out on.  Some of them have given the ultimate sacrifice.  

Why don’t we take better care of our veterans?  Boy, that’s a topic for an entire book.  It annoys me so much that we are welcoming illegals into our country, giving them our money, a place to live and food to eat and we still have homeless vets.  Men and women who have offered to give up their lives for this country and ask only that this country fulfill their promise and take care of them.  That was part of the deal.  Maybe not written out, but it was certainly implied, right?  No man left behind?  Haven’t all those vets that are wondering our streets with no place to live been left behind?

Okay, I’m going to start ranting and other things if I keep on this path, so let’s do some laughing before it’s time to go to bed and go back to work in the morning.

If every time someone asks you to do something you gasp quietly and whisper to yourself, “Just as the Prophecy foretold,” people will eventually stop asking you to do things.

I am definitely going to start doing this!

I don’t know, but it’s a cool picture.

No!  No, no, no, NO!

I am beginning to think I will never be old enough to know better.

The moon is actually more useful than the sun, since the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark.  The sun only gives us light during the day, when it’s already bright out.

I work at an alphabet soup factory.  Don’t laugh, I made fifty G’s last week!

Why is it ALWAYS Bob?

“Gathering nuts and berries, you say?”

I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little jerk bit me.

Of course I’m an organ donor. 

Who wouldn’t want a piece of this?

Billion Dollar Idea:

A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell,

“I’m just cooking!”

I am not!

I was heartbroken when my wife told me that my five-year-old was not my son. 

Then she told me to pay more attention at kindergarten pickup.

Most people think that the T-Rex can’t clap because its arms are too short.

But really it’s because they’re all dead.

The people who make fitted sheets need to sit down with the people who make mattresses and get on the same page.  Making the bed shouldn’t be like putting a swimming cap over a fridge.

“Signs Found In Kitchens”

Clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy.

So this isn’t Home Sweet Home.

Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer do it yourself!

I clean house every other day. Today is the other day!

I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!

A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is dark chocolate in one hand and white chocolate in the other.

Remember only dull women have immaculate houses.

And that’s what we’ve come to…overstating the obvious for the moronic.

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.

Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?”

The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, “Sure!” The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, “352.”

This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, “You’re right! O.K., I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.”

The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”

Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, “Looks like a duck, flies like a duck… it’s probably a duck,” and shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.

The next bird flies overhead and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, “Hmmmm…green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound…might be a duck.” He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.

A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, “Go see if that was a duck.”

I’m closing this one a tiny bit early so that I have time to make a final point.  Monday was Memorial Day.  A day that means something a little bit different to a Veteran than it does to a civilian.  And it means even more to a Vet who’s seen combat.  I listen to a podcast and the host was saying something that I’d like to expound on a little bit.  Two things that you don’t say to a Veteran on Memorial Day and a couple of things that we don’t like to see.

And maybe I should just speak for myself. 

Don’t say “Happy Memorial Day.”  It’s not a happy day.  For most of us, it’s a day of remembering.  It’s a “Memorial”.  Most of us, no matter how long or short we’ve served, have lost someone to the service.  It could be to combat, to PTSD, to any number of other things.  We’ve lost track of brothers.  Some of our brothers, like Lethal Leprechaun, succumbed to their wounds many years after they were received.  We tend to say a lot of prayers on Memorial Day.  So, no.  “Happy Memorial Day” is pretty inappropriate.

Don’t say “Thank you for your service.”  Not that I would ever be rude to anyone who said that to me at anytime, but honestly, the desire to respond with, “that’s not what today is for.” is somewhat overwhelming.  Any other day is appreciated.  Veterans’ Day is very appreciated. 

The month of May is military appreciation month.  Most people don’t even know that.  The tiny sinful “Pride” population does a great job of getting everyone fired up over “Pride month” in June, and yet the group of people who offer to put their life on the line for you…how many of you have seen a single thing for Military Appreciation Month that is coming to a close?  Nope, me either.  And yet, there are twice as many Vets as their are people who identify as LGBsomething or other.  3.2% of the population for them, 6.2% of the population for Vets – which is actually down from 18% just 4 years ago. 

I know that last one doesn’t have much to do with Memorial Day, it just sticks in my craw.

Anyway, to wrap it up, don’t have Memorial Day sales.  And for the picnics and things like that, take a minute to pause and remember what the day is really all about.

That’s all I really have to say.  Love you guys, thanks for listening.  Until next time.  

Wishing everyone a Blessed Memorial Day.  Before we get started on things, let me share something with you that I found on my old boss’s FB page.  This lady is now a dear friend.  She’s the one I told you about who was with me in the ICU when Mary passed away.  She took care of so many things for me.  Anyway, she posted this:

Flags at half-mast until noon, then lower it to the bottom and raise it to full height.  At 1500 (3 pm) stop whatever you are doing for a minute of silence.  If you have questions, ask a Veteran.  Every single one of us have considered the possibility of giving up our lives for you.  The possibility of our families facing this; and we’ve put it all in perspective and taken care of what needs to be taken care of and had the conversations that needed to be had.  (Or we didn’t put it in perspective and take care of it, couldn’t deal with it and hopefully got out of the military/police force/fire fighting and have chosen a different profession prior to needing long term psychological care).

And another one from the same lady

Yeah, we post that one, or one very similar to it a couple times a year.  Thank you Colonel for sharing those with your followers.  Deeply appreciated.

There will be more Memorial Day stuff to share as we go, but for now…

A LETTER TO GOD        

This is a story of a man who works at the post office mail sorting centre. His job was to process all mail items that had illegible addresses. 

One day a letter came to his desk, addressed, in shaky handwriting, to God. 

He thought, “I better open this one and see what it’s all about.” 

So he opened it and it read: “Dear God, I am an 83-year-old widow living on a very small pension.  Yesterday someone stole my purse.  It had a hundred dollars in it which was all the money I had until my next pension day.”

“Next Sunday is Easter, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with.” 

“I have no family to turn to, and God, you are my only hope.  Can you please help me?” 

The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all the others at the mail centre.

Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96 dollars, which they put into an envelope and sent it to her. 

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done. 

Easter came and went, and a few days later came another letter from the old lady, again addressed to God.  All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. 

It read: “Dear God, how can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?  Because of your generosity, I was able to fix a lovely dinner for my friends.  We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was 4 dollars missing.

It was no doubt stolen by those thieving bastards at the post office.

Listed below are lyrics to tunes that mention a name.

Can you identify the NAME!

 1. Who goes round the roses…

 2. Who’s working for the man…

 3. Who picks up the rice… 

 4. Who’s an angel to me…

  5. Who is in the sky with diamonds…

  6. Who rowed the boat ashore…

  7.  Who was more like a beauty queen…

  8. Who got me rockin and a rollin…

  9. Who’s breaking my heart…

 10. Who fills up my senses…

 

 

                          ⬇️

 

 

                           ⬇️

 

 1.  Sally

 2. Proud Mary

 3.  Eleanor

  4. Johnny

  5. Lucy

  6. Michael

  7. Billie Jean

  8. Barbara Ann

  9. Cecelia

 10. Annie

From brother Joe in NJ

Signs:

Spotted in a toilet of a London office: 
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW. 

In a Laundromat: 
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT. 

In a London department store: 
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS 

In an office: 
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN. 

In an office: 
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD. 

Outside a secondhand shop: 
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? 

Notice in health food shop window: 
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS 

Spotted in a safari park: 
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR 

Seen during a conference: 
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR 

Notice in a field: 
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES 

Message on a leaflet: 
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door: 
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK) 

Attention Ladies! Want to truly understand your man? Just simply match the questions of “What A Man Says” with “What A Man Wants”. Give yourself one point for each correct answer! 

“What A Man Says” 
1. “These flowers are for you.” 
2. “Can I have your number?” 
3. “You look beautiful.” 
4. “I’ve enjoyed tonight.” 
5. “What we have is special.” 
6. “I love you.” 

“What A Man Wants” 
A. Sex 
B. Sex 
C. Sex 
D. Sex 
E. Sex 

Our good brother Sasquatch sent us the great article called:

FORGOTTEN JOBS

10 Professions That Vanished From The Pages of History

Published on May 25, 2024

This is a long one with a bunch of pictures so I think I’m going to break it up a bit throughout the issue.

1|
Lamplighter

Credit: Matt Antonioli
Once essential for lighting up the streets before electricity became widespread, lamplighters would manually ignite and extinguish gas lamps each evening and morning. With the advent of electric street lighting, the need for these nocturnal workers dwindled into darkness. However, not everything is lost! A small team of professional lamplighters are employed in London, England to turn on the gas lights that have been preserved as part of the historical heritage of the city.

2|
Switchboard Operator

Credit: Museums Victoria
In the age before automated telephone systems, switchboard operators served as a vital link between callers. They manually routed calls by plugging cables into switchboards, a complex task requiring quick decision-making, good memory for names, and multitasking skills. With the rise of digital telecommunications, these operators became obsolete, but they still play a role in specific fields, such as emergency services or customer support centers.

3|
Ice Cutter

Credit: Scott Rodgerson
qBefore refrigeration, ice cutters braved freezing temperatures to harvest ice from lakes and rivers during winter. Their labor provided a precious commodity for preserving food and cooling drinks in the sweltering summer months. Surprisingly, well-insulated ice reserves could last all summer long. Eventually, the widespread adoption of electrical refrigeration systems rendered the services of ice cutters unnecessary.

Hmm, wondering if that would work here…

Pretty much says it all.

4|
Knocker-upper

Credit: bruce mars
Before the era of alarm clocks, knocker-uppers provided a crucial service for workers and city residents. Armed with long poles or even pebbles, these early risers would tap on windows or doors at designated times to wake up their slumbering clients. This personalized wake-up service ensured punctuality for those with early morning obligations, such as factory workers or store owners. However, with the invention of affordable alarm clocks and the widespread availability of electricity, the need for knocker-uppers faded into oblivion.

5|
Rat Catcher

 

Credit: Joshua J. Cotten
From medieval times through the Victorian era, rat catchers were individuals employed to control vermin populations in cities plagued by infestations. Armed with traps, ferrets, and other tools of the trade, they ventured into sewers and alleys to rid urban areas of these disease-carrying pests. However, some rat catchers were accused of secretly breeding rats and releasing them to ensure their long-term employment in a given area.

6|
Human Computer

Credit: Jeswin Thomas
Long before electronic calculators and digital computers, human computers performed complex mathematical calculations manually. These skilled individuals, often women, were employed in various fields such as astronomy, engineering, and finance to perform computations essential for research, design, and financial analysis. In fact, the trajectory calculations for the first satellite launched by the United States – the Explorer 1- were done by hand by a group of human computers.

Now, Aussie Pete, that I’d believe!

The Freedom Rock
Watch this video for a really good explanation…

I feel the same way, cat.

7|
Bematist

Credit: Valerie V
In ancient Greece, bematists were skilled land surveyors responsible for measuring distances and demarcating land boundaries using simple tools and techniques such as measuring rods, compasses, and counting their steps. These early surveyors were remarkably accurate, so much so that some modern researchers speculate that they must have used some sort of odometer.

8|
Herb Strewer

Credit: Alexander Schimmeck
Dating back to 17th century England, herb strewers played a vital role in combating unpleasant odors in the royal apartments. These individuals scattered fragrant herbs, flowers, and other aromatic substances on rooms and hallways, in an effort to deter pests and bad smells. But this wasn’t necessarily because of unhygienic living conditions. In cities like London, before the construction of a proper network of sewers, the smell of the untreated waste that flowed into the river Thames could be overwhelming, to the point where drapes were sometimes drenched in bleach to try and stop the putrid stench.

9|
Toad Doctor

Credit: Byron Burns
In late 19th century Europe, toad doctors were practitioners of a branch of folk medicine that claimed the ability to cure various ailments through the use of living toads and other natural substances. In particular, toad doctors specialized in the treatment of “King’s Evil,” a frequent skin disease at the time, now called “scrofula.” Usually, this treatment consisted of placing a live toad inside a bag and hanging it from the sick person’s neck.

10|
Groom of the Stool

Credit: Giorgio Trovato
The Groom of the Stool served as the personal attendant to monarchs during their most private moments in the lavatory. This role involved assisting the monarch with all its toileting needs, and yes… all of them . While we can be thankful that this job has disappeared in modern times, at the time it was an extremely privileged position of intimate trust in royal courts. Whoever was Groom of the Stool was often feared and envied within the court, as these intimate helpers were often rewarded with both riches and political power.

And that’s it for the 10 Professions That Vanished From The Pages of History.  I thought they were pretty cool myself.  Not sure how much you’d have to pay me to be the Groom of the Stool, but I can see as how that would end up being a very confidential position.  Thanks again to Sasquatch for sending that one along.

Common Sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.

A LOCAL RESTAURANT IN TOWN POSTED THIS TODAY!!!!

Fryer Oil was
$12 12 Months ago
$35  6 Months ago
$50  Today

Chicken Wings was
$45 a case 12 months ago
$175 a case today

Take Out Boxes
$25  12 Months ago
$95 Today

This is the same for all our cleaning, paper, and food we use. 

If a local restaurant adds a few dollars to your meal, it’s not to get rich, it’s to continue to stay in business.

I really like the concept!

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. 

Went out.  Had a few drinks.  Nice guy.  He’s a web designer.

Whoever put the “s” in fast food, is a marketing genius.

Common Sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.

I remember seeing girls wear them

The English word Germans find hardest to pronounce is “squirrel” and in a glorious piece of synchronicity, the German word English speakers find hardest to pronounce is “EichHonchen” which also means “squirrel”.

I hate people who can’t let go of the past. 

Debt collectors are the worst.

My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive…
Apparently, “Don’t worry babe, your boobs cover it” wasn’t the answer she was looking for!

Husband pinches his wife’s breasts and says, “If we firm these up, we can get rid of the bra.” 

Wife grabs his penis and says, “If we firm this up, we can get rid of the milkman!”

Well, I wasn’t alive in 5/5/55, but I got all the rest of them covered…so what does that make me?  Mostly old?

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would’ve happened if you had just listened to her.

Surnames are usually what your ancestors did for a living so I assume everyone named “Fitzgibbons” has a great grandfather who excelled at cramming apes into a container.

But I’ll bet you made up a location a LOT further away than you first intended.

“Leave the peach cobbler in the kitchen alone,” mother would say, going upstairs.

But I couldn’t help myself.  I sneaked in and watched him.  Watched him make his stupid little peach shoes, taunting.  “Nobody’s going to wear those,” I’d say.  “They’re stupid.” 

But on he worked.

A birth certificate is basically a baby receipt. 

And that is it my friends.  I hope you had a good time with this special issue.  Bouncing between funny and serious may have cause a little mental whiplash and for that, I’m sorry, but I can’t be held legally responsible.  So, until Thursday when we try to get this place to some semblance of order, may I borrow from Numbers 6:24-26 when I say to you I pray that the Lord will Bless you and keep you; that the Lord will make His face to shine on you and be gracious to you; and the Lord turn His face toward you and give you Peace.  Until next time my friends, family and fellow campers in this wonderful world the Lord had given to us.

I want to thank everyone for all the great comments on the last episode.  As someone who does this for the love of it, it’s nice to know that my efforts are appreciated.  Thank you for the very kind words.  It makes it all worthwhile.  

I really don’t know what to talk about this morning.  I have a buddy coming over to help me with my roof.  He’s a bit better at climbing ladders than I am.  I don’t climb so well anymore.  I probably could, but I’d hate to fall at this point in my life.  With the amount of arthritis and bad joints and stuff that I have, I’ll leave it to the guys that can.  He’s also my ministering partner at the jail and on Tuesday nights and the funny thing is, he’s one month older than I am.  He just wore better than I did, lol.

So, he should be here at any moment, so in the meantime, let’s see about putting some laughter under our belts this morning, shall we?

(And all you ladies out there are giggling thinking about laughing at what’s under our belts!)

This link is SO GOOD!  It’s so touching.  Dad plans the perfect pick-up for his daughter’s last day of school.  Thanks to Stephanie, as usual, for sending us another great link.  https://scoop.upworthy.com/dad-plans-the-perfect-pickup-for-daughter-on-last-day-of-highschool-leaving-everyone-in-tears

This next one is from Leah D.

And here’s another one from Leah D.  It’s an

89 year old Ron Chester was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

The officer asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”

Ron replied, “That would be my wife.”

Cuddling with my best friend

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.

Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.

Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you.

Female mosquito: Sure love, go to sleep.

Male mosquito: I will drive you around Paris in a Mercedes.

Female mosquito: Hmmmmmm… ok, go to sleep…

Male mosquito: You don’t trust me? I will get you a 100 gms Gold chain….

Female mosquito: You idiôt go to sleep…

Male mosquito: Honey I’ll do anything for you.

Female mosquito: You silly @#$#@$.. how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician

Standing watch can be a lonely and boring job and it’s easy to grow complacent, that’s why most times the watchers are sent out in teams of two.

Following the death of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi in a helicopter crash over the weekend, the deceased leader questioned the furnishings of Paradise and wondered why it was so crazy hot up there.

And to read the rest of this great article from the Babylon Bee, click the link: https://babylonbee.com/news/iranian-president-asks-manager-of-paradise-where-all-the-virgins-are-and-if-itd-be-possible-to-turn-the-heat-down-a-tad?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email

Izzy took this next picture from right inside our back door…

All the pink flower petals are from Mary’s rose bush that has absolutely taken over the back pergola.  I think it is a beautiful picture.  That bunny is HUGE!  No wonder the dogs have so much fun chasing them around the yard.  This one looks like it’s waiting for the dogs to come out and play.

Joe from NJ sent us this next short.  What an incredible story!!!

And that’s what makes it so much fun!  I enjoy this so much and then come to find out that so many of you enjoy it so much just makes it that much more pleasurable for me.

During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, “How’d you do that?”

“I could tell you, sir”, the magician answered, ” But then I’d have to kill you.”

After a short pause, the man yelled back, “OK, then. Just tell my wife and mother-in-law!”

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. 

At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. 

“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…” 
“I PRAY FOR A NEW X-BOX…” 
“I PRAY FOR A NEW TV…” 

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” 

To which the little brother replied, 
“No, but Grandma is!” 

One day, 3 unemployed factory workers heard that a large food company was enlarging and needed more staff.  So they went downtown to see if they could get themselves a job. 

After filing out their applications, each one was interviewed and each one managed to get hired.  As they were waiting to be assigned their new duties, a foreman came by and spoke to the hiring boss. 

The foreman told the boss that he didn’t think it was such a good idea as one of the workers had snapped for no apparent reason at his last job.

Also a second was said to have had cracked up after severe mental stress.

The third, he believed was their father who he felt was a bit odd but he couldn’t put his finger on it. 

The hiring boss reassured the foreman and said that they would start on something easy and after a week, the company would re-assess them to see if they would be kept on. 

The foreman reluctantly agreed and asked the boss where he thought they should start. 

The boss replied, “Why not take them and put them in our Cereal Division…Snap, Crackle and Pop should work out fine down there.”

There was an unusually dim girl, participating in a rather deep discussion.

It got to a point, where she made an incredibly dumb remark and one guy couldn’t take it any more.

So he said to her, “You must have a vacuum in your head.”

This upset her.

She looked at him for a couple of seconds and then replied, “Well, at least it’s better than nothing.”

Dear Police Officers, 
You can’t hear us right now because of all the moise, but there are millions of Americans who appreciate you, support you, and thank you for your service.

Here’s another good one from Joe

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

– Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Wow.  I got zero points.  So, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…Izzy had ten points, but said there was a few she said she got close to.

“I can’t find a cause for your illness,” the doctor said. “Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.”

“In that case,” replied his patient, “I’ll come back when you are sober.”

I suppose I shouldn’t say anything since my wife used to (and Izzy still does) go online to find a picture of what she wanted me to buy and would text me the picture so I would get the correct one.

Sign on husband’s desk:
Things To Do Today:

1) Get organized.
2) Talk to wife.
3) Get reorganized.

A family owned a tomcat, of whom it was normally quite fond. Quite often, however, the cat would get out at night and go around the neighborhood howling and screeching and meowing so loudly that people would complain.

The family took the tomcat to a veterinarian, and had him fixed.

A few nights later, though, the cat was out again, and this time he was making even more noise than usual.  Not only that, but a lot of other cats were howling and yelling, too.

The father of the house went out to see what was going on.  He caught the cat’s attention and asked, “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be over all this.”

“Oh,” replied the cat, “He who can, DOES; he who cannot, TEACHES.”

Universal Dumping Guide Translator

  These are the top 10 dumping lies translated  to their true meanings for all of you.

“I’m not ready for that type of commitment”

     Translation:
I don’t want to date you; however, you can take me out to dinner and a movie every once in a while. Just don’t hang around me so much that you scare away the people I really want to date.

 

“God doesn’t want me to date right now. “

     Translation:
I don’t know why I said ‘yes’ in the first place. God doesn’t want me to date someone as ugly as you.

 

“I only date older men/women.”

     Translation:
I only date older men/women who have more money than you do.

 

“You’re just not my type.”

     Translation:
When I look at you, and think of kissing you, I get physically sick.

 

“You’re too good for me.”

     Translation:
I’m too good/much/cool for you.

 

“You’re too much like a brother/sister”

     Translation:
I like you, but you just don’t turn me on.

 

“You’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

     Translation:
My lawyer will contact you soon about the restraining order.

 

“I think we should date other people.”

     Translation:
Look, I’m late for my date, he/she’s probably waiting in the parking lot. I’ve got to go.

 

“I just don’t have the time to date anyone.”

     Translation:
You do realize that I’ve been avoiding you for months now.

 

“Maybe we can get together real soon.”

     Translation:
Perhaps if you were the last man/woman on Earth.

There was a young lady at sea 
Who said “Gosh, how it hurts me to pee.” 
“I see,” said the mate, 
“That accounts for the state 
Of the Captain, the purser, and me.”

Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. 

Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?

I had this meme that I was going to use earlier than thought I’d save it for the end and now it’s working it’s way into The Last Word.  Here it is.

First of all, do I need to explain who Paul is and why he would send us a letter?  1 Corinthians?  2 Corinthians? Galatians?  Ephesians?  Romans?  Any of these ring a bell?  Okay, then we’re on the same page.

Now, The Bible is the Word of God and it’s pretty straight forward.  I wrote a piece not too long ago about how there is no such thing as a Progressive Christian Church.  Not in the sense that most of them mean it.  

Recently, the United Methodist Church had their conference or one of their conferences and they had the speakers introduce themselves.  Rather than stand up and say who they were and where they were from, such as, “Good evening, I’m John Smith and I’m the Pastor at Anytown Methodist Church in Tennessee.”  They changed it all around and this is how they introduced themselves, “Hi, I’m John Smith, gay male, married to William, Pastor at Anytown Methodist Church in Tennessee and my pronouns are he/him.”

And although each church has to buy their way out of the United Methodist Church umbrella because part of joining was ceding all the property and buildings over to the group and even the smaller churches must pay tens of thousands of dollars and the larger ones in the hundreds of thousands to get out.  Even though all of that, they have lost like 65% of their membership because their Pastors and their members know that THIS IS WRONG.  According to the Lewis Center, as of 31 Dec 24, the cut off for churches to “Disaffiliate” from the UMC, 7,631 churches made it out or 25% of the churches.  A good part of them are joining the Global Methodist Church.  Many of them can’t leave because they can’t afford it.  It would break them because the UMC kept them poor.  

They even had the nerve, the gall, to tell everyone at the conference to not contain themselves to the male pronoun, when referring to and praying to God.  I am astounded.  

We’ve got that stupid “He Gets Us” commercial during the last super bowl that was so far off the mark that it may have done more harm than good. 

Izzy just showed me where the Pope is trying to give sainthood to a sixteen year old computer gamer.  I read the article from CNN, which should have stopped me right there, but apparently he healed one person and another person was healed when they prayed at his grave site.  So, there’s your two miracles to qualify you as a saint in the Catholic Church.  Funny, I always thought that it was God who answered prayer and did the healing. (Now PLEASE, any Catholics out there who know the full story on this and know that CNN got it wrong, and by extension, I got it wrong, PLEASE write to me and let me know!)

And speaking of Catholics, the Chiefs kicker, I forget his name off the top of my head and I’m on too much of a roll to go look it up, a good Catholic man, with a good Catholic family, giving a speech at a Catholic school on Catholic values and the progressive left went CRAZY!!!  PLEASE!!!!

There is NO SUCH THING AS A PROGRESSIVE CHRISTIAN CHURCH.  Just as soon as you go away from the teachings of the Bible, remember…the Word of God, you are NO LONGER A CHRISTIAN CHURCH.  I’m not sure what you are, but I am 100% sure what you are not.

Marriage is between one man and one woman.  Before someone starts saying how “phobic” I am, yes, I believe that there are people who are same sex attracted and yes, I also believe that it is a sin to act on that.  But, that is between you and God.  Don’t tell me that I have to accept it as being right or correct and we’ll be fine.  What you do on your own time is your business.  

And don’t tell me that I have to use your pronouns of choice either.  According to MY beliefs it is a sin for me to lie, so for me to call you a “she” when I can clearly see that you are a “he” is for me, commiting a sin.  Besides, why should I buy into your mental illness.  Now, if you want to change your name from Frank to Fanny, that’s up to you.  A name is just a name and you can call yourself anything you want to call yourself.

Okay, it’s way obvious that I’ve gone a bit far afield with today’s Last Word.  I guess I hit a hot button.  Well, I KNOW I hit a hot button, but it’s not really where I intended to go when I first sat down to write.  But, it very rarely is.  Maybe I just should have said it was a Dragon Rant to begin with.  It is just getting more and more frustrating to me, seeing where our country is headed, knowing what has to be done, ministering to so many people and wondering if any of it is making any kind of difference at all.  

Asking God, what else can I be doing?  Father, You know what my talents are, how else can I be using them to help fulfill Your Great Commission?  I know You don’t call the able, You enable the called.  I pray for the guidance and the strength and the tools that I need, to follow the plan that You have for my life.  In Jesus, my Lord and Savior’s name I pray.

My fellow campers, have a wonderful weekend and I will see you again on Memorial Day Monday.

The background to the above picture is from an actual response from our Grissom ARB Fire Department a few years ago.  There was a fuel truck on the bypass in Kokomo that had caught on fire, I don’t remember how, and the locals couldn’t put it out.  There were flames like 500 feet into the air.  They asked if the Air Force could help out.  Well, we have foam for aircraft fires and yeah, we got it out.  

So, I did some searching on line and here is the article from our Public Affairs office that was published on June 26, 2020.

Grissom FD extinguishes tanker fire

 

• Published June 26, 2020
• By Staff Sgt. Joshua Weaver
• 434th ARW Public Affairs

Grissom Air Reserve Base —  

There’s nothing like a 75-foot tornado of fire coming from a fuel tanker truck to make an incident commander look for mutual aid options.

That was the scenario June 19, when the Kokomo Fire Department came upon a tanker truck fire on U.S. 31 North in Kokomo, Indiana.

At approximately 10:45 p.m. that night a semi-trailer carrying gasoline caught fire when the trailer brakes locked up. The driver called 911 and Kokomo first responders arrived on scene to see the fire had spread from the brakes to the trailer filled with gasoline.

Kokomo’s incident commander then requested mutual aid from the Grissom Fire Department.

“Mutual aid was requested from Grissom due to our resources, including aircraft rescue firefighting vehicles with foam capability,” said John Ireland, Grissom fire chief.  (John Ireland has actually won the Fire Chief of the Year Award for the State of Indiana as a little bitty Air Reserve Base Fire Chief.  He was THAT good!  He has since retired.  He has forgotten more about fighting fires than many Fire Chiefs learn in their whole careers.)

Grissom responded to the request with six firefighters and three vehicles, Crash 3 and Tanker 10, both heavily equipped fire trucks designed to combat a variety of scenarios including an aircraft incident, and a command vehicle.

“The tanker was leaking fuel onto the roadway with streams of fire going in different directions on both sides of the tanker,” said Jason Cahill, Grissom firefighter. 

With Cahill and John Denham working the bumper and roof turrets Grissom was able to suppress both of the running fuel fires with a foam/water mixture.

“One of the challenges we faced was the location of the incident,” Cahill said. “We didn’t have access to a continuous water supply.”

Crash 3 made an extensive initial attack with 1,500 gallons mixed with the foam concentrate, while Tanker 10 came behind and resupplied Crash 3 with an additional 4,000 gallons of water.

Once all the water on site was used, a Howard County Water Tanker Task Force, established a water shuttle to help keep the Crash 3 stay on the attack.

With the running fuel lines extinguished, Crash 3 switched its attack to focus on the tanker trailer itself to extinguish the source of the fire.

“We were able to knock down the ‘seat’ of the fire in a relatively short period of time,” Cahill said.

With the fires knocked down, a waiting game began.

“We had to ensure that the foam blanket we put down was enough to contain fuel vapors from re-igniting from the heat that remained in the burned materials,” Cahill said.

Battling the blaze, Grissom used approximately 5,000 gallons of water with a mixture of 130 gallons of aqueous film forming foam.

After waiting until things cooled down, Grissom fire was released from the scene and it was turned over to the Indiana Environmental Protection Agency and the Indiana Department of Environmental Management for proper decontamination and restoration of the area.

“Events like this are why mutual aid agreements are very important to each department,” Ireland said. “They allow federal fire departments such as Grissom to use resources and manning of installation personnel and equipment. Emergencies like this one are so large in scale that it takes multi-jurisdictional responses to mitigate them.”

Grissom’s fire department is manned 24-7 ensuring the safety and protection of the 434^th Air Refueling Wing’s 16 KC-135R Stratotankers.

Mutual aid agreements not only help to serve the local community but also help keep Grissom firefighters trained.

“Responding off-base exposes our members to different types of emergencies that may not routinely happen on the installation,” Cahill added.

“Given the fuel load of a Stratotanker, in the tragic event of a KC-135 fire, the tactics used on this semi-truck tanker fire are nearly identical to the tactics that would be used in combatting an aircraft fire,” he added.

The 434th ARW is the largest KC-135 unit in the Air Force Reserve Command. The Citizen Airmen from the Hoosier Wing routinely deploy around the world in support of the Air Force mission.

Stay connected with the 434th ARW on Facebook and Twitter.

And I know it’s gonna take up a lot of room, but we’ve gone this far, so let’s go a little further…here’s a bunch of pictures from the scene:

That’s the original picture from above.

Well, now that we’ve gone WAY off topic, let’s move on and 

I just got this one from Pop Smith and I think he’s throwing down the gauntlet to see if we can figure out what it means.  I got it pretty quickly.  I think the top line kind of gives it away, but regardless, it is awfully good!

And ANOTHER excellent one!

You’re scared?

Good!

It means you’re outside your comfort zone and that’s where you grow.

And here’s another great link from our own dear Stephanie:

AI robot named Sophia gives D’Youville University commencement speech

Just because I like it.

Yup…

This one is Stephen B and it is hilarious!

Gen Z daughter tries to explain what she does at family steel company — as boss dad can’t stop laughing in viral TikTok

Underwater Drone

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

Office Prank:

If you glue a dead wasp to your palm, you can smack your boss on the back of the head as hard as you want and act like you saved him.

Sometimes my work commute is a long one.

That is beautiful!

In the midst of a quarrel, the wife bitterly yells at her husband, “I was such a fool when I married you.”

Retorts her husband:” That’s so true. But I was in love and didn”t notice.”

A baby was born to a couple. When he was one, he could talk like an adult. When he was two, he could read anything. When he was three, he could do advanced calculus. When he was four, he could predict the future. 

One day, he made three predictions: “One year from today, I will die. Two years from today, my mother will die. Three years from today, my father will die.” 

Sure enough, a year later the young boy died. 

The father, getting the picture in a big way, loaded up is wife with a million dollars in life insurance. A year later she died. 

The father collected the million dollar insurance benefit, and, figuring he only had a year before his own death, went on a 364-day binge. Fast cars! Faster women! Exotic vacations! Flings with super models! 

His timing was perfect, for on the 364th day, he blew the last penny on a Blue Sapphire martini and an exotic dancer with a taste for overpriced champagne and sexy lingerie!!! 

At midnight, he toasted himself, “What a way to go,” and slipped off into what he assumed would be his *big* sleep.

To his amazement, he woke up the next morning… He thought he had cheated death! He was invincible! 

But then the exotic dancer with whom he’d spend the night broke the news… “Honey, better come quick, the pool boy’s dead.”

It sure does make it taste better to know their name, doesn’t it?  Vegan’s, you can’t make us guilty.

A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex.

To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line asking each person to smile.

Using the size of the person’s smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately how often each person had sex.

The last man in line was grinning from ear to ear. “Twice a day,” the therapist guessed, but was surprised when the man said No.

“Once a day, then?” Again the answer was No. “

Twice a week?”

“No.” “Twice a month?”

“No

” When finally the doctor asked, “Once a year?”

. . . the man finally said Yes.

The therapist was angry that his theory hadn’t worked with this individual, and he asked the man, ” What the heck are you so happy about?”

The man answered, “TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT!”

How do you keep a bagel from getting away?

Put lox on it.

Scientists working round the clock, have decided to move the clock out of the way.

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

When I was a kid, we didn’t have any fancy body wash.  We all had to use the same bar of soap our dad washed his butt with.  And if we we swore, we got our mouths washed out with the same bar of soap.

My husband suggested that we go to the pub separately to relive our first date. 

So he walked over to me at the bar and asked, “Hi gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?” 

I replied, “Get lost, I’m not falling for that again.”

My wife didn’t tell me that she was having a yard sale.  I went outside and fell into the hole.

Real Texas Bluebonnets

Well, we’ve got his opinion.

I just saw on the news that they’re suggesting that people scheck on the elderly.  I’m usually up by 6 or 6:30.  Bring donuts.

Back in my day, the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled, “Last Call!”

Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head, I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn.

I’ve got all that, plus the pain.  What does that mean?

Mnemonic

Thirty days has September,
April, June and November.
Unless a leap year is its fate,
February has twenty-eight.
All the rest have three days more,
excepting January,
which has six thousand,
one hundred and eighty-four.

Brian Bilston

The great news is I’ve made it to my golden years.
The very bad news is there is no gold.

And that is a wonderful place to end this one.  What a truly wonderful concept.  My dear and wonderful camper family…