Good morning campers. I hope all is well with you all. LL’s explanation as to why I didn’t have a Dragon Laffs put out this morning was original and funny, but not very near to the truth. Many of you know that I have been feeling under the weather as of late and today I was told by my doctor that I have pneumonia. And since I will be contagious until I am fever free for 24 to 48 hours, I will have, at least the next day or so to catch up on my e-mails. That is, in between the coughing, hacking, puking….well…you get the idea. So, whadda ya say we get this party boat off the pier!
The Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a very cold winter. It must be true because the squirrels are gathering NUTS. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
Are you O.K.?
Alzheimer’s Test:
How fast can you guess these words?
1. F_ _K
2. PU_S_
3. S_X
4. P_N_S
5. BOO_S
6. _ _NDOM
Scroll down for answers
So, many, many times we see the videos of people crashing and burning and doing really stupid things on skateboards, bicycles, bungee cords and what-nots. Here’s a video of all those crazy things being done … successfully! What a great video. Enjoy!
Answers:
1. FORK
2. PULSE
3. SIX
4. PANTS
5. BOOKS
6. RANDOM
You got all 6 wrong….didn’t you?
The Old Country Boy’s:
DID YA KNOW OR DO YA CARE?
In the early 1800s, marijuana was Kentucky’s
number one crop. It was legal then. People
did not smoke it. Marijuana was used for its
fiber, called hemp, which was used in ships’
sails, rope, twine, paper and canvas.
Two young men are speculating on how long they might live, and one says he thinks he has a long life ahead of him. “After all,” he says, “my grandfather lived to be 96.”
“Ninety-six? What finally got him?” the other man asks.
“Liquor and women.”
“Well, that just goes to show you,” snickers the friend, “both will get you in the end.”
“Well actually, no, it’s not what you think,” says the first man. “Toward the end, Grandpa couldn’t get either one, so he just laid down and died.”
The correct way to treat a good wine…
Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.
If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing,
give it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
A veterinarian was also an amateur geneticist. One day, one of his experiments paid off. He successfully combined the DNA of a cantaloupe with that of a dog. The result was a small, round dog with orange-tinted fur.
For many years, the dog was happy. But over time, he became lethargic and morose. The vet tried everything to cure the dog’s depression. Eventually, he decided to take the dog to a pet psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told the veterinarian not to worry. The dog was just a little melon collie.
The early bird may get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese
Are you afraid of heights ?
How about climbing 1768 feet to the top of a tower !
Wait til the cartoon finishes …. then HANG ON …. !
I got a sick feeling in my stomach ….
Speculation arises that missile fired over pacific is actually a post-election warning shot to California from God.
Wanna bet? In our house the saying, “I brought you into this world, I can take you right back out again.” Is a factual statement. Just ask the Whelpling. He’ll tell it true.
There are not enough warnings available to properly prepare you for this one…just let me express my sincerest apologies:
21 Worst Bootleg DVD covers
We’ve shown this one before, but it is SO worth watching again. A very nice bit of flying:
On September 21, 2005 JetBlue Airways Flight 292, an Airbus A320-232, executed an emergency landing at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) after the nose wheels jammed in an abnormal position.
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
- We have an all-military audience today. A lot of these men and women have seen more action than Charlie Sheen.
- They finally found a place to put the inmates from Guantanamo Bay: a Carnival cruise ship.
- A Carnival cruise ship was stranded and had to be towed back to land. The ship had no electricity, no hot water, and no air conditioning. If they wanted that, they could have stayed in Mexico.
- For two days, the ship drifted with no power, earning the nickname the “Democratic Party.”
Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
- Travelers can now get flu shots at JFK Airport. That’s good, because whenever I see how things are run at an airport, my first thought is, “These people should be in charge of more stuff.”
- A woman gave birth to a healthy baby girl in the back of a New York City cab this week. You could tell the woman wasn’t going to make it to the hospital. Her contractions started coming every $4.60.
- China is expected to overtake the United States as the world’s biggest economy in the next two years. Americans couldn’t believe it. They were like “That hasn’t happened already?”
- A kindergarten teacher in Florida was arrested for trafficking Oxycodone. Other teachers became suspicious when she had the only class in school with a six-hour naptime
Dragon Laffs 