Dragon Laffs

La Fheile Padraig!  La Fheile Padraig! <throat clearing noises heard.> 

Sorry I forgot most of you don’t understand the language me and God speak!  I was exclaiming St. Patrick’s Day! “in the Irish”.

‘Tis but 4 short days away ta be sure! The greatest day of the year if you are lucky enough to have been born Irish! 

St. Patrick’s Day is a great excuse to party, whether you are Irish or not. Though the holiday began as a Catholic feast day, it’s become a secular celebration of Irish culture.

Named after St. Patrick, who lived in the fifth century AD, St. Patrick’s Day is a public holiday in Ireland.

Tis a beautiful sight mine eyes do behold, rainbows everywhere with fairies delight, as pots of gold twinkle in the light.

‘Twas Guinness, Bushnell’s, Killian’s and Jameson too,  ah….for the love of the wonderful brew.

Now it is time to celebrate what it is that best we do.

What? Yes I KNOW I’m a wee jumpin’ the gun, but it falls on a Sunday, beside like as not Impish will be working the weekend anyhow- and for bloody free thanks to the Sequester!.

Between you and I ‘twas a lesson I learned last year about trustin’ the likes of a Dragon ta do right by an Irish holiday.

Now, I’ll nay say he did a bad job at it, but he DID say a few things I took exception to.  So while I thank him kindly for the teachable moment, ‘tis myself that will be handling the St Paddy’s Day honors from here on out.

 Because after all….

Too bloody right!

That’s nay just any cuppa folks…tis an Erin Go Braghaccino ta be sure!

1 1/2 ounces Irish whiskey (don’t be wasting the good stuff on this ya can’t bloody well savor it over the coffee)
1 1/2 ounces Irish cream liqueur
1 teaspoon brown sugar
2 to 4 tablespoons whipped heavy cream frothed

And 1 cup of coffee

Repeat until either you’re wired or think your Irish.  Then go River Dance in front of the Restroom Door of your gender while waiting your turn to let all that coffee back out!

If you are a fan of Irish Coffee, and who isn’t, you can thank Daveina Davidson, the head chef at Foynes, County Limerick. Foynes’ port was the precursor to Shannon International Airport

 

For most of you under endowed and a certain Dragon that would be accomplished more like this:

I’ll be after paying ya back for your running me over with a Soccer Mom’s van in your last issue in my next issue Impish! Don’t think I’ve forgotten, nor have be feline friends! Speaking of whom…

 

Time for Our First Musical Intermission!

Sorry there Bing uld sod but I’ve found a (IMHO) better singer/version of the song!

 

Speakin’ o’ da ‘Gettin’ Jiggy With It’  ‘tis a wee important question ta be asking o’ all the lassie readers:

Limited time offer. Some (age) restrictions apply. 

Google Gets An Absurd Patent For Its “Google Doodles”

If you needed any more proof that the U.S. patent system is totally out of control, here it is: after ten years of lobbying, Google was granted a patent on Google Doodles this morning. [actually ‘today’ was March 22, 2011]

Doodles are the customized version of the Google logo that the company puts on its home page to celebrate holidays and other events. As the patent application explains, examples include “a company logo is modified with a voter’s button for Election Day” or  “modified with an animated character for the Olympics.

Here are a few of me favs from years past

It all started with St. Patrick’s Day in 2000.

St. Patrick’s Day 2012

Be sure to check out Google’s homepage on Sunday to see this years St Patrick’s Day Google Doodle!

IT’S OK IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME.

I understand I can’t force you to be right!

My Lazy Shot Gun

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business…

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it.

It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people.

Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.

And for those of you who cannot see the truth, logic or humor behind this comment, ‘tis but one thing I’ve ta  be sayin’ ta the like o’ ya-

Did you know that the very first St. Patrick’s Day Parade in New York City was in 1762?  It was held on lower Broadway by a band of homesick Irish ex-patriots and Irish military who served with the British Army stationed in the American colonies.   While marching they decided to march right into the local tavern! Tis the truth, no Blarney here!

The very first St. Patrick’s Day parade was not in Ireland. It was in Boston in 1737.

Over 100 US cities hold a parade every year. Some of the other biggest St. Patrick’s Day parades are in Chicago, Illinois and Savannah, Georgia.

In 1948 President Truman became the first president to attend a St. Patrick’s Day parade.

Questioning is the door of knowledge. Old Irish proverb

What should you do if you catch a leprechaun? How do you take advantage of that lucky four-leaf shamrock? Test your knowledge of the Emerald Isle with these fun facts and silly superstitions about Saint Patrick and his adopted country.

Take the Ireland Trivia Quiz!

Before you inquire I did miss ONE question.

Speaking o interventions and the things leading up ta one, I think its time for a wee drop o’ the creatur.

Roger would ye be so kind has to pass the jar of whiskey ya be hiding o’er there?

 

  The word whisky (or whiskey) is an anglicisation of the Gaelic word uisce|uisge meaning water. Distilled alcohol was known in Latin as aqua vitae = “water of life”. This was translated to Gaelic as Irish: uisce beatha and Scottish Gaelic: uisge beatha = “lively water” or “water of life”. Early forms of the word in English included uskebeaghe (1581), usquebaugh (1610), usquebath (1621), usquebae (1715)

The art of distillation spread to Scotland and Ireland no later than the 15th century, as did the common European practice of distilling ‘Aqua Vitae’ or spirit alcohol primarily for medicinal purposes.^[8] The practice of medicinal distillation eventually passed from a monastic setting to the secular via professional medical practitioners of the time, The Guild of Surgeon Barbers. In the Irish Annals of Clonmacnoise in 1405, the first written record of whisky attributes the death of a chieftain to “taking a surfeit of aqua vitae” at Christmas.  In Scotland, the first evidence of whisky production comes from an entry in the Exchequer Rolls for 1494 where malt is sent “To Friar John Cor, by order of the king, to make aquavitae”, enough to make about 500 bottles.

James IV of Scotland (r. 1488–1513) reportedly had a great liking for Scotch whisky, and in 1506 the town of Dundee purchased a large amount of whisky from the Guild of Surgeon Barbers, which held the monopoly on production at the time. Between 1536 and 1541, King Henry VIII of England dissolved the monasteries, sending their monks out into the general public. Whisky production moved out of a monastic setting and into personal homes and farms as newly independent monks needed to find a way to earn money for themselves.

Old Bushmills Distillery, County Antrim

The distillation process was still in its infancy; whisky itself was not allowed to age, and as a result tasted very raw and brutal compared to today’s versions. Renaissance-era whisky was also very potent and not diluted. Over time whisky evolved into a much smoother drink.

With a license to distil Irish whiskey from 1608, the Old Bushmills Distillery in the north coast of Ireland is the oldest licensed whiskey distillery in the world.  ^{[This also just happens to be your favorite Leprechaun’s favorite brand of Irish Whiskey!]}

To celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, 110 million people will celebrate the day by wearing green, making an Irish-inspired meal, or going out to celebrate.

There are 33.7 million U.S. residents who are of Irish ancestry. That number is almost nine times the population of Ireland itself.

15 million cards are exchanged on St. Patrick’s Day. 10% of all St Patrick’s Day cards are sold in New York.

19 Presidents of the United States proudly claim Irish heritage—including our first President, George Washington.

And here you all thought he was called Lucky because of his Lucky Charms Cereal deal!  You wouldn’t believe the number of wimmen he picked up with that ‘magically delicious’ line even before the cereal came out!

 

There once was a lady from Worchester
Who dreamt that a man had seduced her
She awoke with a scream To find was a dream
And a bump in the mattress had goosed her.

They will pass out free condoms, you know,
But not sex toys for women, and so If a dildo’s desired,
It can sure be acquired,
But you’ll need to use cash called dil-dough.

A few more clever but non-poetic words from our Poet Laurite Diaman-

BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.

COWBOYS handle anything horny.
COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.
DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS do it in their briefs.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BOOKKEEPERS prefer double entry.

Ok I’ve had a very good question asked of me relating to St Patrick’s Day.

Apparently an inquiring mind wants to know why I am so steadfast against green beer that I refuse to even be in a place that is serving it on St Patrick’s Day.

First of all on the most obvious level its a chemical agent and we need to be eating less dyes which give our kidneys and liver problems already, especially on a day when we’re planning on over taxing them as it is.

Secondly, IMHO it’s alcohol abuse! While it might be a taste improvement to things like Budwater and Miller-so-light-there-is-no-taste, (I can’t say for sure because I’ll die of thirst before drinking either) By adding it to a proper pint of Irish Beer, Bitters, or Ale you screw up the carefully crafted flavor & taste of the beverage because dye has a flavor.

Thirdly as to where they obtain that green beer, as a Leprechaun I am painfully aware of the truth behind how its obtained:

and finally, the combination of green food dye and beer can have a dangerous side effect on many drunken revelers mind which is a wholly unpleasant mood spoiling event for the rest of us. They become deluded drunks you imagine themselves capable of taking on all comers and resembling this in appearance:

now you might be thinking, ‘”well that’s not really so bad Lethal, you’re being a wee bit of a whiner about this green beer issue.” The thing is the worst part of this transformation occurs after they sober back up and you’re left confronting something that looks like this:

Are ya better understanding my problem with noxious green beer NOW folks? There is a far simpler way of ‘getting your green on’ or enhancing your Irishness if you’re feeling its a wee bit low. I myself living amongst the least Irish of ya possible to find in the U.S., without traveling to that Mystical Land of Liberals- California, have even resorted to recharging my Irish this way a time or two:

I have to say while a wee embarrassing to ask for, they work far better far faster and are FAR LESS embarrassing than doing something like this to prove you’re Irish:

Now let us have another fine Irish Music interlude. I have to agree with the three gents THIS IS the way this song is best sung. Unfortunately it’s also the one you most often here being hideously and painfully murdered by green beer swillers anxious to prove their Irishness (if only for a few short hours) on St Patrick’s Day

 

History

To begin with, Danny Boy is one of over 100 songs composed to the same tune. The author was an English lawyer, Frederic Edward Weatherly (1848-1929), who was also a songwriter and radio entertainer. In 1910 he wrote the words and music for an unsuccessful song he called Danny Boy. In 1912 his sister-in-law in America sent him a tune called the Londonderry Air (or possibly something else, as discussed in Section 3), which he had never heard before. He immediately noticed that the melody was perfectly fitted to his Danny Boy lyrics, and published a revised version of the song in 1913. As far as is known, Weatherly never set foot in Ireland

Weatherly gave the song to the vocalist Elsie Griffin, who made it one of the most popular songs in the new century; and, in 1915, Ernestine Schumann-Heink produced the first recording of “Danny Boy”.

Jane Ross of Limavady is credited with collecting the melody of “Londonderry Air” in the mid-19th century from a local fiddle player.

Usage

“Danny Boy” is considered to be an unofficial signature song and anthem, particularly by Irish Americans and Irish Canadians.

The song is popular for funerals; but, as it is not liturgical, its suitability as a funeral song is sometimes contested. In 1928, Weatherly himself suggested that the second verse would provide a fitting requiem for the actress Ellen Terry.

Meaning

There are various theories as to the true meaning of “Danny Boy”.^[5] Some listeners have interpreted the song to be a message from a parent to a son going off to war or leaving as part of the Irish diaspora. The 1918 version of the sheet music included alternative lyrics (“Eily Dear”), with the instructions that “when sung by a man, the words in italic should be used; the song then becomes “Eily Dear”, so that “Danny Boy” is only to be sung by a lady”. In spite of this, it is unclear whether this was Weatherly’s intent.

Lyrics

(There are a number of variations on these lyrics.)

Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer’s gone, and all the flow’rs are dying
‘Tis you, ’tis you must go and I must bide.

But come ye back when summer’s in the meadow
Or when the valley’s hushed and white with snow
‘Tis I’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh, Danny boy, oh, Danny boy, I love you so.

And if you come, and all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, as dead I well may be
I pray you’ll find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an “Ave” there for me.

And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me
And all my grave will warm and sweeter be
And then you’ll kneel and whisper that you love me
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me.

or I’ll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

or And I shall rest in peace until you come to me.

or Oh, Danny boy, oh, Danny boy, I love you so.

 

 

Baptizing an Irishman

An Irishman, is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
Comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
Alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
‘Are you ready to find Jesus?’
The drunk shouts, ‘Yes, oi am.’
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him up and asks the drunk, ‘Brother have you found Jesus?’
The drunk replies, ‘No, oi haven’t found Jesus.’
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for
A little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, ‘Have you found
Jesus me brother?’
The drunk again answers, ‘No,oi I haven’t found Jesus.’
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
The water again —
But this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
Kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, ‘For the love of God have you found Jesus?’

 

(Are you ready for this????)

 

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the
Preacher, ‘Are you sure dis is where he fell in?’

 

Irish Coffee Cupcakes

These are definitely an adult St. Patrick’s Day treat. There is plenty of Bailey’s in the frosting and a nice splash of whiskey in the glaze. The flavors are perfect. The only thing I would do differently next time is use espresso in place of the coffee. These make a great presentation at a St. Patrick’s Day party. I’m sharing them early in the week so you can plan ahead. Enjoy!

  

 

Irish Coffee Cupcakes adapted from Ready for Dessert
Makes: 18 cupcakes

For the Cupcakes

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup brewed coffee
6 Tbs. unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter, cut into pieces, at room temperature
1 1/4 cups packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs, at room temperature
2 tsp. vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line one12-cup  and one 6-cup muffin tin with cupcake liners.
Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
In a medium saucepan, heat the coffee until almost boiling. Remove from the heat and whisk in the cocoa until dissolved, then add the butter, stirring until melted. Whisk in the brown sugar and let cool until tepid. Whisk in the eggs and vanilla, then stir in the flour mixture, mixing just until incorporated. Don’t over mix.

Divide the batter equally among the cupcake liners, each well will only be half full. Bake until the cupcakes feel just set in the center, 16-18 minutes. Let cool completely.

For the Frosting

8 ounce package cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup powdered sugar
3 tablespoons Irish cream liqueur, such as Bailey’s Irish Cream

In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment beat together the cream cheese, butter, and powdered sugar until smooth. Beat in the Irish cream liqueur.

Pipe frosting on top of cupcakes using a pastry bag or spread on with a spatula. You want a nice thick layer. Place cupcakes in the refrigerator while making the glaze. This will make them easier to dip.

For the glaze

8 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon light corn syrup
4 tablespoons whiskey

Melt the chocolate with the cream and corn syrup in a small saucepan over low heat, stirring until smooth. Remove from the heat and stir in the whiskey.

Dip the tops of the frosted cupcakes in the glaze right to the edge of the cupcake paper, let excess glaze drip off before turning upright. Let cool, right side up, until the glaze is firm. Store cupcakes in the refrigerator, remove and bring to room temperature (about 30 minutes) before serving. This recipe makes more glaze than you need, but makes it easier to dunk the tops of the cupcakes. Store remaining glaze in the refrigerator, it will form a whiskey ganache that can be used later as a hot fudge ice cream topping by slowly heating or added to hot milk for a whiskey hot chocolate.

 

Dublin Coddle

Dublin coddle is considered one of Ireland’s national dishes. But like many of Ireland’s great foods, it is rich in fat.

Traditionally made with both bacon and sausage to flavor a base of potatoes and onions, Dublin coddle is an insanely good one-dish meal. And it would be a great choice for St. Patrick’s Day. Especially this more diet healthy version.

Dublin Coddle

2 tablespoons canola or vegetable oil

6 ounces Canadian bacon, chopped

10 ounces chicken sausages (any variety), sliced into 1-inch-thick diagonal slices

2 large yellow onions, sliced

3 cloves garlic, chopped

2 tablespoons chopped fresh sage

2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme

3 tablespoons chopped parsley

2 large russet potatoes, cut into thick slices

1 large sweet potato, cut into thick slices

2 carrots, cut into 1-inch chunks

2 apples, cut into 1-inch chunks

1 cup apple cider

1 cup chicken stock

Salt and ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS: In a large Dutch oven over medium-high, heat the oil. Add the Canadian bacon and saute until lightly browned, 3 to 4 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the bacon to a small bowl. Add the sausage to the pan and brown the slices on both sides, about 3 to 4 minutes per side. Transfer the sausage to the bowl of bacon. Add the onions and garlic to the pan, then sauté for 7 to 8 minutes, or until they begin to brown. Stir in the sage, thyme and parsley. Add the russet and sweet potatoes, carrots, apples and reserved meat. Pour the apple cider and chicken stock over everything. Cover and set over medium-low heat. Cook until the vegetables and potatoes are very tender, about 1 to 1-1/2 hours. Season with salt and pepper.

Makes 6 servings.

Nutrition information per serving (values are rounded to the nearest whole number): 340 calories; 90 calories from fat (26 percent of total calories); 10 g fat (2 g saturated; 0 g trans fats); 35 mg cholesterol; 49 g carbohydrate; 15 g protein; 5 g fiber; 670 mg sodium.

 

Leprechaun Balls 

These are WAY better than Alec Baldwin’s ‘Schweddy Balls’ I promise! I’m fact I’ll go so far as to say “They’re Magically Delicious!”

This St. Patrick’s Day dessert is only for the grown-ups. Leprechaun Balls have both Irish whiskey and Bailey’s in them (and you know this combo makes a powerful nightcap called a Celtic Dream). Four or five of these will roughly equal a shot, so overindulgence could certainly make you plastered.

Too many of these alcoholic little green dessert treats, and you might end out kissing more than a Blarney Stone, this Saint Patrick’s Day…lol. 

Ingredients

•box of vanilla wafers
•½ cup Baileys
•¼ cup Irish Whiskey
•2 tsp. cocoa powder
•white chocolate + green food coloring (or green candy melts)
•*optional holiday candy sprinkles

Instructions

1. Crush the vanilla wafers in food processor (or in a plastic bag)

2. Separate the crushed wafers ⅔ in one bowl, ⅓ in another.

3. Add cocoa powder to smaller portion.

4. Pour Bailey’s into the larger portion of wafers, and mix thoroughly.

5. Pour Irish whiskey into the cocoa & wafer mixture. Mix well.

6. Make small (approx. ½ tsp size) balls from the whiskey blend.

7. Take a scoop of the Bailey’s mixture into the palm of your hand and press with fingers of your other hand to flatten out.

8. Put a whiskey ball in center, and wrap the flattened Bailey’s mix around it. Top with a little more of the Bailey’s mix to cover, then roll between palms to form a ball. Repeat.

9. Melt the candy melts or white chocolate (add a few drops of green food coloring if you like).

10. Use chopsticks (or pop sticks) to dip the balls to coat. (Roll in sprinkles while still a bit warm if you choose)

11. Allow to cool on the sticks, or place on waxed paper.

Notes: Approx 4-5 of these will equal a shot. [This will be important to keep in mind if you enjoy them with a cuppa Erin Go Braghaccino]

The Leprechaun Balls can also easily be popped on a stick, if you prefer. [Flat plastic coffee stirrers cut in 1/2 lengthwise are ideal. If you’ve a problem with them staying in use a dot of the chocolate dip as a glue and let them set a few minutes]

 

 

So to most of the world Irishmen have a reputation for being hard drinkers, any the brunt of more than a few jokes. Who do the Irish then use and the brunt of thier jokes and claim drink to excess more often then they? Simple. The Scotsman, whom the Irish claim to have been playing pranks on for centuries! Here’s a wee song ta prove me point.

 

 

The Meaning of the Shamrock

By: Alice Langholt

The meaning of the shamrock clover ranges from religious to rebellious. 

The Shamrock in Early Ireland
The farmers who toiled on the hard Irish countryside had a deep love for shamrocks. This member of the clover family was a favorite food for livestock. Shamrock is a weed that grows quickly and is very difficult to eradicate. Farmers could let their animals eat as much as they wanted, safe in the knowledge that the shamrocks would grow back.

Religious Shamrock Representations
The three-leaf clover was adapted by the Druids for their Celtic religion. They used shamrocks for medicinal purposes and believed they could foretell the weather and keep evil spirits at bay. The number three has religious meaning in Celtic as well as Christian religions.

During the fifth century, St. Patrick adopted the shamrock as a religious symbol, noting that the three leaves represented the Holy Trinity of Christianity. As St. Patrick worked to spread Christian doctrine across Ireland, the shamrock became a symbol of his work. He was so loved that St. Patrick’s Day was named for him, although the religious connotations of the shamrock in the holiday celebration have mostly been forgotten.

Political Shamrock Representation
Between 1837 and 1901, during the reign of Queen Victoria, the Irish became subject to British rule. England attempted to outlaw the Catholic faith in favor of the Protestant and Anglican churches. Catholics continued to worship secretly, using the shamrock as a symbol of rebellion and to identify themselves to each other. This gave rise to the phrase, “Wearing of the Green.” Wearing a shamrock was no small offense; those found wearing shamrocks were subject to arrest and death by hanging.

Modern Shamrock Symbolism
Ireland has adopted the shamrock as a national symbol. It can be found on stamps, sports emblems, national crests and government buildings. The shamrock simply represents Ireland; on St. Patrick’s Day, the shamrock can be seen all over, worn by Irish and non-Irish citizens alike. 

Okay Bing, ‘tis a proper Irish gentleman you’ve been for this entire issue. You nae think I’d forget or leave you out of a St Padriag’s Day observance totally did ya now? Get on in here and give is a wee bit o’ a send off. Nothing too rowdy now! Eh wuts that? Oh THAT one? That would be grand!

Bing Crosby: Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral (Thats An Irish Lullaby)

 

Lethal here folks-

Just cleaning up a lose end behind Impish who has the financial survival of his family foremost on his mind because to the Political Stupidity known as the Sequester. On top of the nearly 30% pay loss the poor dragon has suffered now he’s going to lose an hours sleep besides! I purposely didn’t remind him of this during the week because with his sporadic Internet and them the Thursday loss of the entire issue he had so far for today, well lets just say that even I have a limit to how much teasing and torment I’ll allow to be inflicted on my friend before coming to his aid &/or defense.

Yup, back to getting up when its dark, but at least you’ might be getting home when its light(er) now. A question from the back of the room? No. Sorry, no additional allotments of coffee will be issued for this change. A follow up question? Again no. You most definitely do not have to like it, you simply have to shut up soldier on and do it like the rest of us.

Now if you all will excuse me I have to be going before Impish learns I’m in the building…seems he’s a wee hacked off over the redecoration of the place into something more peaceful serene and Spring like”! Can you believe it??!!

He actually seems to think it has something to do with St Patrick’s Day coming up. I just thought it was time for some greenery around here instead of all the stark frozen white of winter and couldn’t think of a place more green than the one known as ‘The Emerald Isle’. All I was trying to do was brighten the place up hoping some of it might rub off on his rather curmudgeonly & cross mood. This place is only large enough for ONE curmudgeon and that ME! Impish needs a part time gig to make up his wages he’ll have to find another angle this one is taken!

Okay, so what the heck is going on?  Where in the world did all this GREEN come from?  Everything is green and gold and bushy and hilly and European, and … and … FRIGGIN’ IRISH!!!
I’ve been kidnapped and taken to friggin’ Ireland!!
Holy Leprechaun!
Oh!
Wait!
Speaking of Leprechauns….
”LETHAL!!!”
Where are you, hiding?  I know you’re here somewhere!
I know you’re responsible!
When I went to bed Wednesday, this is what it looked like:
And when I wake up after a short nap of 30 or 40 hours it looks like this:
And this:
AND FRIGGIN’ THIS:
And Lethal,
What The Hell Is This!!!???
Dude, it looks like a damn brick outhouse!
What the hell am I doing here????
What?
It’s not Ireland?
Terrance!  Get your ass in here right now!
Terrance Troll, you tell me right this second what’s….
It is?
He did?
He redecorated the entire corporate headquarters for what?
St. Patrick’s Day?
Really?  Isn’t that some time in June?
Really?  March 17th?
He must REALLY be planning something big this year if he’s already got the place decorated.  How in the world are we supposed to get any work done with the place looking like a friggin’ forest?
No, Terrance, I’m not going to do like usual and give all my work to you!  Smart Ass!  Get back out in the outer office and do the personal assistant stuff you’re SUPPOSED to be doing.

Campers, while I try to figure out what’s going on around here, why don’t you guys press on without me and start laffing!

What an Ass!

Let’s start right out with this great joke from my Dad.  Thanks Dad!

One very cold winter’s morning, my wife texted me:
”Windows frozen, won’t open.”
I texted her back:
”Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”
Wife texts me back five minutes later:
”Computer really screwed up now.”

How about a new section called … wait for it … Toys I Used To Play With.  Now, before you get the wrong idea and think of
I’m talking about the GAU 8/A Avenger!
This AWESOME Gatling type cannon is a 30 mm hydraulically-driven seven-barrel weapon that is typically mounted to the U.S. Air Force’s Fairchild Republic A10 Thunderbolt II. (Lovingly called by all her maintainers as the Warthog)
This aircraft was specifically built to house this gun and to kill tanks.
How about a short video of this bad boy in action:

And here is a great picture that I found on the internet (no, it’s not me, nor anyone that I know) showing the difference in size between a 30 mm round and a 20 mm.

I won’t bore you with all the details, but if you wish to learn more, you can google either the A10 Thunderbolt II or the Gau 8/a Avenger.
This was one of my favorite toys to play with.

My Doctor, Dr. Lethal Leprechaun, Doctor of Quackary:

Let me tell you about my doctor . He’s very good! If you tell him you
want a second opinion, He’ll go out and come in again .
~~~~~
He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized she was Chinese.
~~~~~
Another time, he gave a patient six months to live.
At the end of the six months, the patient hadn’t paid his bill,
so, the doctor gave him another six months .
~~~~~
While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said,
“Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he’s invisible.”
The doctor said “Tell him I can’t see him.”
~~~~~
Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled,
“Doctor, doctor! – my son just swallowed a roll of film!”
The doctor calmly replied, “Well let’s just wait and see what develops.”
~~~~~
One patient came in and said,
“Doctor, I have a serious memory problem.”
The doctor asked, “When did it start?”
The man replied, “When did what start?”
~~~~~
I remember one time I told my doctor
I had a ringing in my ears. His advice:
“Don’t answer it.”
~~~~~
My doctor sure has his share of nut cases.
One said to him, “Doctor, I think I’m a bell.”
The doctor gave him some pills and said,
“Here, take these – if they don’t work, give me a ring.”
~~~~~
Another guy told the doctor that he thought
he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said,
“Go sit over there. I’ll deal with you later.”
~~~~~
When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places,
He told me to stop going to those places.
~~~~~
You know, doctors can be so frustrating.
You wait a month and a half for an appointment,
then he says, “I wish you had come to me sooner.”

Another great picture of one of us wonderful dragons in the wild

 

 

The Biggest Lie Ever:
”I have read and agree to the terms of use.”

The Biggest Joke Ever:
”Computers and mobile devices were invented to save our time.”


Here’s a really good one.  I wonder how it’s still on the net?

When Lethal Leprechaun plays dress up with his kitties, he really goes all out.

I’m sorry kitty, Molly is going to make sure that Lethal takes them back from you.  She needs them for work.

I have the same problem every morning when I look in the mirror to shave.

Lethal’s other kitties doing a little redecorating.













It seems to be easy for SOME of us to get a decent job

Well, if THAT’S the case, this one can’t be one of Lethal’s…

Welcome back to our dear camper and self styled #1 Dragonette, Diaman and these truly
Puny Puns!  Thanks Diaman!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Illinois Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. faces sentencing

 

Washington Post’s Bob Woodward wrote that President

 

I’m not going to use my usual color and font for this essay because I think that the subject matter is too important to appear flippant in any way or manner.  It could reasonably be assumed, by anyone who’s ever been in a supervisory or leadership position, that the adage, “Lead By Example” is one of the basic tenants of good leadership and integrity.  But, it seems more like our country’s leadership is more likely following the lame “Do as I say, not as I do” bullshit excuse.

For example, The White House, OUR House, is closed for public tours, because of the Sequester and the Furloughs.  What a petty, purely political move THAT is!  But, Obama, the head ass himself, shows his integrity and leadership by spending an estimated one million dollars for a golf outing with in Florida with Tiger Woods!  It has been said (see article here) that that trip ALONE would have paid for public tours of the White House for the rest of the year! 

Gohmert referenced press reports pegging the cost of a recent Florida golf outing Obama took with Tiger Woods at $1 million. He also cited press reports saying 341 federal workers could have been spared furloughs if Obama had stayed home.

“The president’s travel expenses alone, for the golfing outing with Tiger Woods, would pay for a year of White House visits,” Fox News contributor Charles Krauthammer said Thursday. “So I suggest that perhaps he curtail the travel.”

This one hits close to home as one of my co-workers, and fellow camper, was supposed to accompany his children on a class trip to Washington D.C. centered around a tour of the White House.  Another of the affected classrooms showed their annoyance this way:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=606520162694810&set=vb.189592561119149&type=2&theater

Not to mention that Mrs. Obastard is traveling all over the country, appearing on TV and one of the Obastard brats used Secret Service assets to go to a dinner party in New York.  Why the hell does his 14 year old get to go to New York city to a restaurant with a bunch of her friends on MY dime when I have to consider if I have to lose so much of my pay through these furloughs whether I am going to buy food this pay day or buy medicine to keep us alive?

Can’t the leadership of our country even pretend to care?
Nope, even fucking congress voted themselves exempt from any of these cuts, while also passing a bill that says that any of their brats who incur student loan debts will be forgiven those debts.  Who the hell do they think is going to pay for that?
Oh yeah…
US!!!!

This is going to keep on as long as we let it.
We need to vote these self-centered, egotistical, entitlement minded leeches out of office.
All they are is laughing at all of us.
It has to stop now.
It has to be stopped by us.
Before it’s too late…

if it isn’t already.

Lethal here with a Special Announcement Cyber Security Warning hot off my RSS feeds! You can ignore this at your own peril but I felt it was SO important as to warrant my taking time out to create this CYBER SECURITY ALERT!

A ‘Microsoft’ email you should avoid at all costs!

By now, you’re no stranger to phishing emails. These are scam emails that look like they’re from legitimate companies or people. However, they’re really from hackers trying to trick you into opening a malicious attachment or visiting a malicious website.

An email making the rounds today is no exception. This one, which has the subject line “Security,” claims to be from the Microsoft Digital Crimes Unit, which is a real division of Microsoft. The email even includes the real Microsoft and Microsoft Digital Crimes Unit logos.

The body of the email tells you that you need to validate your email address with the Digital Crimes Unit to receive the latest security updates from Microsoft. To do this, so it says, you have to download and run the email attachment called Microsoft_STF_install.zip.

Of course, if you do download and run the attachment, you’re installing a virus on your system. This will open up your computer to hacker control and other malware. So, don’t do it!

The rules to avoid being tricked by email like this are simple:

• Don’t click on links or download attachments in email from people you don’t know.
• Don’t click on links or download attachments in email from people you DO know if it looks fishy (or phishy in this case). It’s best to verify with the person who sent it.
In this case, Microsoft performs all updates through Windows Update. It will never send you an attachment to download and install.
• Don’t click on links in Facebook that look out of character for the person posting them – or that promise something out of character for Facebook.
• Don’t click on links or download attachments in email from companies, even ones you do business with. Visit the company’s site manually or give them a call.
• Don’t visit shady websites. Especially don’t give them personal information or download files from them.

For you Irish &/or Catholics: Only 11 more days until St Paddy’s Day

and for those counting it down 25 more days of Lent left.

For you ASPCA/PETA types: I certify no animals were hurt or even inconvenienced in the making of this Opening Banner . However I cannot say the same for the piece of yarn used to assist in the posing of the kitten

For you Carnivores/Cheeseburger lovers: I certify that on Sunday for lunch Two Bacon Blue cheese and Portobello Mushroom Gourmet 1/2# burgers pan seared in a cast iron skillet and served with the condiments of the eaters choice on freshly baked that morning rolls were served in my house.

For a certain Dragon: You’re too damned right you didn’t get one and weren’t invited! After the last time we invited you for burgers how dumb do you think we still are? Get your own!

For you cat lovers: No, I did not just tease my cats with the cheeseburgers. They instead got their preferred, favorite treat- Blue Hills Hi-Pro Kitty kibbles soaked in tuna water with a bit of the tuna and a little cheddar cheese mixed in.

For the rest of you: Can we get this show on the road now? Sheesh! 

IMPISH! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BROWN GOLD!

You have your own cup which you apparently use to it’s full capabilities FAR too much as evidenced by your muchly padded by munchies waist line!

 

So I was asking Impish the other day how his rehab post partial knee replacement surgery was progressing. I was concerned, being something of an expert in damaged knee joints owing to having 2 of them of my own, that he might be endangering himself with the snow and icy weather that seems to have plagued him recently. I found what he was telling me quite remarkable…for a moment.

My doctor started me on a rehab exercise program.

I am walking with a walking therapist every day.

I never knew walking with someone else was such

an incentive.

We don’t talk much during the walk, though.

My therapist walks about 10 feet ahead of me and

sets the pace, as directed by my doctor.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
.
.

So far, I have followed her for 27 miles without

even using my cane!

I am feeling better each mile and my joint pain,

my blood pressure and my blood glucose count seem to be improving.

I have fun where ever we go!

 

Wackiest motor vehicle laws of 2013

Published On: Feb 22 2013 03:20:56 PM CST Updated On: Feb 25 2013 01:00:00 AM CST

Most driving laws make sense, but some are strange and downright weird. Here are some of wackiest traffic laws of 2013.

In Nevada, it’s illegal to ride a camel on the highway.

Driving barefoot is illegal in Alabama. It is also illegal to drive while blindfolded.

It’s illegal to drive in Massachusetts with a gorilla in the backseat of your car.

In Milford, Massachusetts, you’re not allowed to peep into another car’s window.

In Sag Harbor, New York, it’s illegal to take your clothes off in your car.

Horn honking is not permitted in Oxford, Mississippi as it might scare horses.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter in Florida, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

The fine for hitting a pedestrian in Sarasota, Florida is only $78.

When in Derby, Kansas, screeching your tires or peeling out is considered a misdemeanor and can cost you 30 days in jail.

In Topeka, Kansas, it is unlawful to transport dead poultry along Kansas Avenue. Lesson: look elsewhere for a KFC

The ice cream man is banned in Indianola, Iowa.

If you are convicted of a DUI in New Jersey you permanently forfeit the option to obtain a vanity plate.

In California:

Women are prohibited from wearing a bathrobe while driving.

It’s illegal to shoot at wild game from a moving vehicle, unless your target is a whale.

 

In San Francisco it is illegal to wipe ones car with used underwear [Ok that’s just wrong and nasty on SO many levels]

Ducks have the right-of-way on Rancho California Road at all times in Temecula CA.

No matter how luxuriously comfortable that divided highway may look, it is illegal in Eureka, California, to use a road as a bed.

In order to save money on having to crop dust their streets, officials in Chico, California, have made it illegal to plant rutabagas in roadways.

Officials in Glendale, California, no doubt, caved in to insurance lobbyists when they inexplicably decided to make it illegal to jump from a car at 65 mph.

Don’t expect to find any salt-rimmed curbs in Hermosa Beach, California. Officials there have made it illegal to spill your Margarita on any street.

Going on an intuitive hunch that teeter-totters and cars don’t mix, officials in Dublin, Georgia, have made it illegal to drive through playgrounds.

Contrary to public opinion roof racks are not specifically designed for skis, snowboards and cocker spaniels. Or at least not in Alaska, where authorities have found it necessary to declare it illegal to tether a dog to the roof of a car.

Beware if you own a bicycle in Galesburg, Illinois. The police there have no tolerance for “fancy riding.”

Keep in mind while traveling through Rockville, Maryland, that the streets there are rated G. If you possess a PG-17 vocabulary, take the bypass. Swearing from a vehicle in Rockville is considered a misdemeanor.

Be careful about Jonesing for a Bavarian Cream while in South Berwick, Maine. You’ll be ticketed if you park in front of Dunkin Donuts. [BAD COP! No Donut!…but you can write yourself a ticket for picking them up!]

If you are a horn-honking hooligan you better be carrying your vehicle’s bill of sale if you have the nerve to toot your horn while in University City, Missouri. Officials there have wisely made it illegal to honk the horn of someone else’s car.

Officials in Dunn, North Carolina, apparently harbor no faith in the intuitive powers of common sense:

• First, they have made it illegal to play in traffic. So if you’re a parent make sure your kids play Candyland on the floor of a living room rather than on the asphalt of a passing lane.

• Second, it is illegal to drive through a cemetery if you’re not there to dig a grave or bury someone. So if you intend to visit the grave of a loved one bring really powerful binoculars.

• And third, even if you are considerate enough to yell “On your left,” officials still deem it illegal to drive on sidewalks.

Virginia may be for lovers, but West Virginia is for meat lovers. Officials in the Mountain State have deemed it perfectly legal for anyone to scavenge road kill. [In W. Virginia ‘RSVP’ on an invitation isn’t a confirmation of attendance request- its a  menu warning meaning ‘Run over Skunk Very Possible’]

In Oregon you need to be not only alert for state troopers with speed guns, but also with stop watches. For you can be ticketed if you leave your car door open longer than is deemed necessary.

In Scituate, Rhode Island, it is illegal to drive with beer in your vehicle even if it is unopened. So, in other words, if you’re a beer delivery driver you’re screwed.

In Denver, Colorado, you cannot drive a black car on Sundays

In Clinton, Oklahoma, you’re not to molest a car. [I have no idea what this even means, but you’ve been warned you  car molesting perverts!]

In Tennessee driving a car while sleeping is prohibited.

In Montana, it is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.

Some free Irish-Texan advice- Never approach a Bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a Liberal from any angle!

Here’s a wee bit more Irish Texas logic for ye:

Participating in a gun buy back because you believe that the criminals have too many guns is like having yourself castrated or sterilized because you believe that the neighbors have too many kids!

Now then if you’re a liberal reading that, you go right out and get that castration or sterilization and rest assured you ARE doing your bit to make the world a safer place!

This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo.

On the way home I stopped at the gas station and this drop dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. She glanced over and looked at the ammo in the back of my car and said in a very sexy voice,

“I’m a big believer in the barter system, big boy. Would you be interested in a trade of sex for ammo?”

I thought it over for a few seconds and responded…..

“Well, just what kind of ammo have you got?

Security alert: Bogus tech-support phone calls

“Hello. This is Microsoft Tech Support. Your PC has notified us that it has an infection.”

The call is a scam — an extremely prevalent one. Here’s how it works and what you need to know to stay out of the trap.

Scams come and go, but this particular one seems to have staying power — and it’s spreading quickly. It’s now so common, the Internet Crime Complaint Center (a partnership between the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the National White Collar Crime Center) issued a Jan. 7 special alert, “New twist to online tech support scam.”

Here is a posted description of one such encounter by a (fortunately) fast thinking and knowledgeable guy who called himself Scott.

Scott’s description of how the scam played out:

“This morning I received a telephone call (the second such call in two weeks) about infected files on my computer; the caller then offered to fix the problem. Suspecting a scam, I decided to play along.

“I think it was the same caller both times. He had a strong accent, the kind I’m used to hearing on outsourced help lines. I asked the caller’s name both times; the first time he replied, ‘Mike Tyler,’ and the second time he was ‘Andrew.’ He began the call by saying that he’s with Microtek, an authorized supporter for Windows operating systems. (My spelling of the company’s name was a guess; the caller never spelled it out.)

“I asked immediately whether this was a sales call. Without directly answering my question, he launched into what sounded like a script. He stated: ‘Our servers have received information from your computer that indicates it is infected.’

“When I questioned him about his company, he told me I’d find ‘Microtek’ listed on [an online business directory] — as if a listing in the directory were proof his call was legitimate! When asked where the company was located, he replied, ‘Houston, Texas.’ I then asked for his employee ID; he gave me ‘MSCE079502.’

“(After the call, I ran an online search and came up with a Microtek in Houston; it’s a training facility for business computer users — not a technical-support center. I assume the caller just picked Microtek’s name off the Web. I don’t believe the real Microtek had anything to do with the bogus tech-support call.)

“Changing topics, I asked how he knew my computer was infected. He replied that his company is an authorized Microsoft Partner and, because I use Microsoft Windows, my computer sends notifications to Microtek servers.

“I then asked how he knew about my specific computer; he stated that his server gets updates from my PC. He then asked whether I ran Windows Update. When I said yes, he went on to say that Microtek servers got the information about infected files in my system via Windows Update.

“I countered, stating that Windows Update goes only to Microsoft servers — not Microtek servers. But he simply repeated that Microtek is an authorized Microsoft Partner.

“Next, I asked him which one of my computers was infected (I have several at home), to which he said something vague about a MAC address. When asked which MAC address he had for my machine, he would state only that, for ‘security reasons,’ he couldn’t tell me the MAC address (even though it was my own PC).

“At this point, I expressed my doubts about all this information. But he was quite persistent; he stated that ‘some of our clients in your area have been affected by the infected files on your machine.’ He then claimed I had upward of ‘1,000 infected files.’ When asked who these local clients were, he said he couldn’t tell me that (of course).

“I asked how his clients’ machines could possibly be affected by my home computer. He didn’t answer this but went directly to the following: ‘OK, I’ll show you the infected files on your computer.’ He instructed me to enter .inf into the Start menu search box, then declared that all these files were ‘infected’ (that .inf stands for ‘infected’ or ‘infection’).

“At that point, I said I didn’t believe that was true; it was my understanding that .inf was a particular type of file that comes with software installed on my computer.

“At this point, he ended the call — probably because I knew that .inf didn’t refer to infected files. As it was, I’d had him on the line for a good 15 minutes.

“As I mentioned, this is the second such cold call I’ve received in about two weeks. The pitch given in the two calls was very consistent; I surmise there must be many others who have been presented with the same scam.”

Bogus tech-support call raises red flags

Two of the caller’s assertions in Scott’s narrative immediately indicate a scam:

• Microsoft or one of its partners made the call: False! Microsoft flatly states:

  “Neither Microsoft nor our partners make unsolicited phone calls (also known as cold calls) to charge you for computer security or software fixes. … Do not trust unsolicited calls. Do not provide any personal information.” (See the full text on Microsoft’s “Avoid tech support phone scams” page.)

• Windows Update collects personally identifiable information: False, again! Even if it wanted to, Microsoft — or a Microsoft Partner — can’t track you down and cold-call you via information acquired by Windows Update. You’ll find more details on the online “Windows Update privacy statement” page; a more colloquial version on the “Using Windows Update” page states unequivocally: “Windows Update is committed to protecting your privacy and does not collect your name, address, e-mail address, or any other form of personally identifiable information.”

IF you chose to ignore me and this warning, by ALL MEANS PLEASE let Impish and I know when your sorry gullible (presumably) liberal butt gets taken to the cleaners. While we strive to bring you humor and laughter every week of late he and I have had very little to laugh about personally and could really use the laugh at your stupid expense.

There are SOME DAYS I don’t think he ever left it either!

THE ‘Y’ CHROMOSOME

People born before 1946 are called –
The Greatest Generation.
People born between 1946 and 1964 are called –
The Baby Boomers.
People born between 1965 and 1979 are called –
Generation X.

And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called:
Generation Y

Why do we call the last group – Generation Y ?
Y should I get a job?
Y should I leave home and find my own place?
Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
Y should I clean my room?
Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
Y should I buy any food?

But perhaps a cartoonist explained it most eloquently below …

Just thought you might want to know “Y”

So as I May or may not have said in the past my dear darlin’ Molly has a wee bit o’ a taste for the sweets, particularly chocolate. Last Wednesday was Chocolate Cake Day, something which I pointed out to her while she was at work with visions of a Black Forrest Cake with Chambord flavored Chocolate Ganache icing being bought from our favorite (and very near by) French Bakery by her on the way home.

Instead I got the recipe I’m about to share with you from her in an e-mail with instructions to have all the materials prepped and ready for her arrival so she could make it up quickly so it could bake while we ate dinner. See in our house there is a very clear division of kitchen duties, I cook and make the mess & Molly cleans the mess and bakes. This insures that everything coming out of our kitchen is (well usually) edible.

HERSHEY’S “PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE” Chocolate Cake

Skill Level: Beginner   Prep Time: 15 Minutes

Nutrition Info

Ingredients

• 2 cups sugar
• 1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup HERSHEY’S Cocoa
• 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2  eggs
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 cup boiling water
• “PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE” CHOCOLATE FROSTING (recipe follows)

Directions

1 Heat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.

2 Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes. Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour batter into prepared pans.

3 Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely. Frost with “PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE” CHOCOLATE FROSTING. 10 to 12 servings.

VARIATIONS:

ONE-PAN CAKE: Grease and flour 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Heat oven to 350° F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely. Frost.
THREE LAYER CAKE: Grease and flour three 8-inch round baking pans. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 to 35 minutes. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely. Frost.
BUNDT CAKE: Grease and flour 12-cup Bundt pan. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 50 to 55 minutes. Cool 15 minutes; remove from pan to wire rack. Cool completely. Frost.
CUPCAKES: Line muffin cups (2-1/2 inches in diameter) with paper bake cups. Heat oven to 350°F. Fill cups 2/3 full with batter. Bake 22 to 25 minutes. Cool completely. Frost. About 30 cupcakes.

“PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE” CHOCOLATE FROSTING

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine
2/3 cup HERSHEY’S Cocoa
3 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Melt butter. Stir in cocoa. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating to spreading consistency.
Add small amount additional milk, if needed. Stir in vanilla. About 2 cups frosting.

Molly opted for the single 9×13 pan method. For frosting since I had sliced and macerated some strawberries we had in the crisper drawer Molly took a couple of ready to eat Chocolate Pudding Cups, a bit of 1/2 & 1/2 and the wire whisk attachment to her mixer and made a very nice chocolate mouse which was spooned generously over slabs of the cake prior to applying the strawberries.

 

Adult Marshmallow Treats

Melted Butter plus Marshmallows and your favorite cereal equals a delicious dessert/snack in no time.  These however are NOT your typical kids marshmallow treats but sophisticated adult fare.  Sorry no pretty pictures for this one I had to hand transcribe this one from a coupon flyer from our local grocery store.

Cocoa Treats

1  16 oz bag large marshmallows
2  Tbsp Butter
6  cups Cocoa Puffed Rice Cereal (use the stuff in the bags its way cheaper and ideal for this)
2  Tsp Mexican style Chili Power
   Nonstick Spray

Combine Marshmallows and butter in large microwave safe bowl. Place in microwave and melt for 3 to 4 minutes until Marshmallows are big and puffy.

While Marshmallows are melting spray brownie pan and spoon with Nonstick Spray.

Remove marshmallows from microwave; add in chili powder, stir until blended, then add the puffed cereal. Stir until well combined.

Place into tin and press into all corners.

Let rest for one hour. Store leftovers  (what are those? ) in air tight container.

Makes 12 treats

Tip: Fold in Butterscotch chips or chopped salted peanuts if you like

Apple-Spice Treats

1  16 oz bag large marshmallows
2  Tbsp Butter
8 cups Apple-Cinnamon O shaped cereal (think Apple Jacks- again use the stuff in the bags)
3 Tsp Pumpkin Pie Spice
   Nonstick Spray

Combine Marshmallows and butter in large microwave safe bowl. Place in microwave and melt for 3 to 4 minutes until Marshmallows are big and puffy.

While Marshmallows are melting spray brownie pan and spoon with Nonstick Spray.

Remove marshmallows from microwave; add in Pumpkin Pie Spice, stir until blended, then add cereal. Stir until well combined.

Place into tin and press into all corners.

Let rest for one hour. Store leftovers  (what are those? ) in air tight container.

Makes: 12 treats

Tip: if you like fold in dried cranberries (craisins) or toasted chopped nuts (walnuts, almonds or pistachios)

 

CAN YOU NAME THIS OLD TOOL?

Thought you would enjoy this educational moment in American history. Can you name this strange old tool? Do you know what it is? Look below, read and learn.

Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s – 1810s) The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims. A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “blowin’ smoke up your ass.”

It’s been reintroduced in Washington, by the Obama Administration and will be part of the New Health Care Program.

 

Some more Limericks courtesy of our Punny Poet Laureate Diaman

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who professed to no sexual feeling
Til a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling

There was a young girl named O’Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers
But her hair and her bush didn’t tally.

Three chicks on the corner, delicious
But something about them’s suspicious
I asked, “Are you ‘hos?”
They answered with “nos”
You fool, can’t you see we am bitious”

A guillotine worker named Jay
Got laid off just the other day.
When heads started to roll,
He pursued just one goal:
He wanted his severance pay.

Said Madam at small house of sin,
On greeting at door, two large men,
“I’m busy tonight
Although things are tight
Perhaps I can squeeze you both in.”

 

This is something that we need to continue to be reminded of as the gun control legislation continues to develop.  Small scale in Tennessee, but could as well develop nationally with the stockpile of ammunition that Homeland Security is hoarding.  It is definitely not just hunting and home security that should have our continued concern as Washington and the liberal press try to disarm the nation’s citizens.

Most people are completely unaware of this event that took place in Athens, TN in 1946. They did not know an armed revolt by WWII veterans ever took place during our lifetime. [Or that it was made necessary by a corrupt State & Local Government as well as an uncaring unheeding Federal Government!]
If you support the 2nd amendment you must see this video. It is very sobering to say the least. Be sure to see the actual photos at the end showing the plaque describing the event.

You’ll notice that the weapons used by the Vets were equivalent in firepower to what the Government possessed and that ‘first blood’ was in fact NOT drawn by WE the PEOPLE but by the Government oppressors who arrived with live rounds chambered to enforce their tyrannical usurpation of our Constitutionally assured rights.

So much for the liberal pashawing that such a thing could never happen in the U.S.- it already has. 

This is PRECISELY why the Founding Fathers included the Second Amendment in the Constitution and made NO LIMITATIONS on the weapons! It had happen to them with the British and they were wise enough to know that it could and probably would happen again in the future unless they provided a safe guard against it.

I’ve got nothing on my calendar as yet for 2016 the 240th Anniversary of the American Revolution. Go ahead Liberals, ban my guns, try and take them from me. After all-

“The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. …
And what country can preserve its liberties, if its rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as
to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants..” – Thomas Jefferson

I, along with a couple million other Vets, have already amply proven my willingness to shed my blood and if necessary my life in defense of my Country, the principles it was founded on and for the rights/liberties guaranteed We the People in both the Constitution and Bill of Rights. That’s why Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano declared us potential Home Grown Terrorists.

You Liberal tyrants care to make the same stake for your Tyrannical Socialist Entitlement principles? I seriously doubt it, as most of your army consists of (disbarred) lawyers and community organizers known best for getting others to fight for what they believe through the use of bribery in the nature of unsustainable unrealistic promises. Besides, your kind prefer to get ahead off the redistribution of the sweat, blood and tears of others as opposed to getting your hands dirty by doing the heavy lifting yourselves. Well, I’m fairly certain that’s just not going to cut it here push come to shove.