La Fheile Padraig! La Fheile Padraig! <throat clearing noises heard.>
Sorry I forgot most of you don’t understand the language me and God speak! I was exclaiming St. Patrick’s Day! “in the Irish”.
‘Tis but 4 short days away ta be sure! The greatest day of the year if you are lucky enough to have been born Irish!
St. Patrick’s Day is a great excuse to party, whether you are Irish or not. Though the holiday began as a Catholic feast day, it’s become a secular celebration of Irish culture.
Named after St. Patrick, who lived in the fifth century AD, St. Patrick’s Day is a public holiday in Ireland.
Tis a beautiful sight mine eyes do behold, rainbows everywhere with fairies delight, as pots of gold twinkle in the light.
‘Twas Guinness, Bushnell’s, Killian’s and Jameson too, ah….for the love of the wonderful brew.
Now it is time to celebrate what it is that best we do.
What? Yes I KNOW I’m a wee jumpin’ the gun, but it falls on a Sunday, beside like as not Impish will be working the weekend anyhow- and for bloody free thanks to the Sequester!.
Between you and I ‘twas a lesson I learned last year about trustin’ the likes of a Dragon ta do right by an Irish holiday.
Now, I’ll nay say he did a bad job at it, but he DID say a few things I took exception to. So while I thank him kindly for the teachable moment, ‘tis myself that will be handling the St Paddy’s Day honors from here on out.
Because after all….
Too bloody right!
That’s nay just any cuppa folks…tis an Erin Go Braghaccino ta be sure!
1 1/2 ounces Irish whiskey (don’t be wasting the good stuff on this ya can’t bloody well savor it over the coffee)
1 1/2 ounces Irish cream liqueur
1 teaspoon brown sugar
2 to 4 tablespoons whipped heavy cream frothed
And 1 cup of coffee
Repeat until either you’re wired or think your Irish. Then go River Dance in front of the Restroom Door of your gender while waiting your turn to let all that coffee back out!
If you are a fan of Irish Coffee, and who isn’t, you can thank Daveina Davidson, the head chef at Foynes, County Limerick. Foynes’ port was the precursor to Shannon International Airport
For most of you under endowed and a certain Dragon that would be accomplished more like this:
I’ll be after paying ya back for your running me over with a Soccer Mom’s van in your last issue in my next issue Impish! Don’t think I’ve forgotten, nor have be feline friends! Speaking of whom…
Time for Our First Musical Intermission!
Sorry there Bing uld sod but I’ve found a (IMHO) better singer/version of the song!
Speakin’ o’ da ‘Gettin’ Jiggy With It’ ‘tis a wee important question ta be asking o’ all the lassie readers:
Limited time offer. Some (age) restrictions apply.
Google Gets An Absurd Patent For Its “Google Doodles”
If you needed any more proof that the U.S. patent system is totally out of control, here it is: after ten years of lobbying, Google was granted a patent on Google Doodles this morning. [actually ‘today’ was March 22, 2011]
Doodles are the customized version of the Google logo that the company puts on its home page to celebrate holidays and other events. As the patent application explains, examples include “a company logo is modified with a voter’s button for Election Day” or “modified with an animated character for the Olympics.
Here are a few of me favs from years past
It all started with St. Patrick’s Day in 2000.
St. Patrick’s Day 2012
Be sure to check out Google’s homepage on Sunday to see this years St Patrick’s Day Google Doodle!
IT’S OK IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME.
I understand I can’t force you to be right!
My Lazy Shot Gun
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business…
While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it.
It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people.
Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.
And for those of you who cannot see the truth, logic or humor behind this comment, ‘tis but one thing I’ve ta be sayin’ ta the like o’ ya-
Did you know that the very first St. Patrick’s Day Parade in New York City was in 1762? It was held on lower Broadway by a band of homesick Irish ex-patriots and Irish military who served with the British Army stationed in the American colonies. While marching they decided to march right into the local tavern! Tis the truth, no Blarney here!
The very first St. Patrick’s Day parade was not in Ireland. It was in Boston in 1737.
Over 100 US cities hold a parade every year. Some of the other biggest St. Patrick’s Day parades are in Chicago, Illinois and Savannah, Georgia.
In 1948 President Truman became the first president to attend a St. Patrick’s Day parade.
Questioning is the door of knowledge. Old Irish proverb
What should you do if you catch a leprechaun? How do you take advantage of that lucky four-leaf shamrock? Test your knowledge of the Emerald Isle with these fun facts and silly superstitions about Saint Patrick and his adopted country.
Before you inquire I did miss ONE question.
Speaking o interventions and the things leading up ta one, I think its time for a wee drop o’ the creatur.
Roger would ye be so kind has to pass the jar of whiskey ya be hiding o’er there?
The word whisky (or whiskey) is an anglicisation of the Gaelic word uisce|uisge meaning water. Distilled alcohol was known in Latin as aqua vitae = “water of life”. This was translated to Gaelic as Irish: uisce beatha and Scottish Gaelic: uisge beatha = “lively water” or “water of life”. Early forms of the word in English included uskebeaghe (1581), usquebaugh (1610), usquebath (1621), usquebae (1715)
The art of distillation spread to Scotland and Ireland no later than the 15th century, as did the common European practice of distilling ‘Aqua Vitae’ or spirit alcohol primarily for medicinal purposes. The practice of medicinal distillation eventually passed from a monastic setting to the secular via professional medical practitioners of the time, The Guild of Surgeon Barbers. In the Irish Annals of Clonmacnoise in 1405, the first written record of whisky attributes the death of a chieftain to “taking a surfeit of aqua vitae” at Christmas. In Scotland, the first evidence of whisky production comes from an entry in the Exchequer Rolls for 1494 where malt is sent “To Friar John Cor, by order of the king, to make aquavitae”, enough to make about 500 bottles.
James IV of Scotland (r. 1488–1513) reportedly had a great liking for Scotch whisky, and in 1506 the town of Dundee purchased a large amount of whisky from the Guild of Surgeon Barbers, which held the monopoly on production at the time. Between 1536 and 1541, King Henry VIII of England dissolved the monasteries, sending their monks out into the general public. Whisky production moved out of a monastic setting and into personal homes and farms as newly independent monks needed to find a way to earn money for themselves.
The distillation process was still in its infancy; whisky itself was not allowed to age, and as a result tasted very raw and brutal compared to today’s versions. Renaissance-era whisky was also very potent and not diluted. Over time whisky evolved into a much smoother drink.
With a license to distil Irish whiskey from 1608, the Old Bushmills Distillery in the north coast of Ireland is the oldest licensed whiskey distillery in the world. [This also just happens to be your favorite Leprechaun’s favorite brand of Irish Whiskey!]
To celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, 110 million people will celebrate the day by wearing green, making an Irish-inspired meal, or going out to celebrate.
There are 33.7 million U.S. residents who are of Irish ancestry. That number is almost nine times the population of Ireland itself.
15 million cards are exchanged on St. Patrick’s Day. 10% of all St Patrick’s Day cards are sold in New York.
19 Presidents of the United States proudly claim Irish heritage—including our first President, George Washington.
And here you all thought he was called Lucky because of his Lucky Charms Cereal deal! You wouldn’t believe the number of wimmen he picked up with that ‘magically delicious’ line even before the cereal came out!
There once was a lady from Worchester
Who dreamt that a man had seduced her
She awoke with a scream To find was a dream
And a bump in the mattress had goosed her.
They will pass out free condoms, you know,
But not sex toys for women, and so If a dildo’s desired,
It can sure be acquired,
But you’ll need to use cash called dil-dough.
A few more clever but non-poetic words from our Poet Laurite Diaman-
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.
COWBOYS handle anything horny.
COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.
DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS do it in their briefs.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BOOKKEEPERS prefer double entry.
Ok I’ve had a very good question asked of me relating to St Patrick’s Day.
Apparently an inquiring mind wants to know why I am so steadfast against green beer that I refuse to even be in a place that is serving it on St Patrick’s Day.
First of all on the most obvious level its a chemical agent and we need to be eating less dyes which give our kidneys and liver problems already, especially on a day when we’re planning on over taxing them as it is.
Secondly, IMHO it’s alcohol abuse! While it might be a taste improvement to things like Budwater and Miller-so-light-there-is-no-taste, (I can’t say for sure because I’ll die of thirst before drinking either) By adding it to a proper pint of Irish Beer, Bitters, or Ale you screw up the carefully crafted flavor & taste of the beverage because dye has a flavor.
Thirdly as to where they obtain that green beer, as a Leprechaun I am painfully aware of the truth behind how its obtained:
and finally, the combination of green food dye and beer can have a dangerous side effect on many drunken revelers mind which is a wholly unpleasant mood spoiling event for the rest of us. They become deluded drunks you imagine themselves capable of taking on all comers and resembling this in appearance:
now you might be thinking, ‘”well that’s not really so bad Lethal, you’re being a wee bit of a whiner about this green beer issue.” The thing is the worst part of this transformation occurs after they sober back up and you’re left confronting something that looks like this:
Are ya better understanding my problem with noxious green beer NOW folks? There is a far simpler way of ‘getting your green on’ or enhancing your Irishness if you’re feeling its a wee bit low. I myself living amongst the least Irish of ya possible to find in the U.S., without traveling to that Mystical Land of Liberals- California, have even resorted to recharging my Irish this way a time or two:
I have to say while a wee embarrassing to ask for, they work far better far faster and are FAR LESS embarrassing than doing something like this to prove you’re Irish:
Now let us have another fine Irish Music interlude. I have to agree with the three gents THIS IS the way this song is best sung. Unfortunately it’s also the one you most often here being hideously and painfully murdered by green beer swillers anxious to prove their Irishness (if only for a few short hours) on St Patrick’s Day
To begin with, Danny Boy is one of over 100 songs composed to the same tune. The author was an English lawyer, Frederic Edward Weatherly (1848-1929), who was also a songwriter and radio entertainer. In 1910 he wrote the words and music for an unsuccessful song he called Danny Boy. In 1912 his sister-in-law in America sent him a tune called the Londonderry Air (or possibly something else, as discussed in Section 3), which he had never heard before. He immediately noticed that the melody was perfectly fitted to his Danny Boy lyrics, and published a revised version of the song in 1913. As far as is known, Weatherly never set foot in Ireland
Weatherly gave the song to the vocalist Elsie Griffin, who made it one of the most popular songs in the new century; and, in 1915, Ernestine Schumann-Heink produced the first recording of “Danny Boy”.
Jane Ross of Limavady is credited with collecting the melody of “Londonderry Air” in the mid-19th century from a local fiddle player.
“Danny Boy” is considered to be an unofficial signature song and anthem, particularly by Irish Americans and Irish Canadians.
The song is popular for funerals; but, as it is not liturgical, its suitability as a funeral song is sometimes contested. In 1928, Weatherly himself suggested that the second verse would provide a fitting requiem for the actress Ellen Terry.
There are various theories as to the true meaning of “Danny Boy”. Some listeners have interpreted the song to be a message from a parent to a son going off to war or leaving as part of the Irish diaspora. The 1918 version of the sheet music included alternative lyrics (“Eily Dear”), with the instructions that “when sung by a man, the words in italic should be used; the song then becomes “Eily Dear”, so that “Danny Boy” is only to be sung by a lady”. In spite of this, it is unclear whether this was Weatherly’s intent.
(There are a number of variations on these lyrics.)
Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer’s gone, and all the flow’rs are dying
‘Tis you, ’tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer’s in the meadow
Or when the valley’s hushed and white with snow
‘Tis I’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh, Danny boy, oh, Danny boy, I love you so.
And if you come, and all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, as dead I well may be
I pray you’ll find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an “Ave” there for me.
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me
And all my grave will warm and sweeter be
And then you’ll kneel and whisper that you love me
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me.
- or I’ll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
- or And I shall rest in peace until you come to me.
- or Oh, Danny boy, oh, Danny boy, I love you so.
Baptizing an Irishman
An Irishman, is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
Comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
Alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
‘Are you ready to find Jesus?’
The drunk shouts, ‘Yes, oi am.’
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him up and asks the drunk, ‘Brother have you found Jesus?’
The drunk replies, ‘No, oi haven’t found Jesus.’
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for
A little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, ‘Have you found
Jesus me brother?’
The drunk again answers, ‘No,oi I haven’t found Jesus.’
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
The water again —
But this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
Kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, ‘For the love of God have you found Jesus?’
(Are you ready for this????)
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the
Preacher, ‘Are you sure dis is where he fell in?’
Irish Coffee Cupcakes
These are definitely an adult St. Patrick’s Day treat. There is plenty of Bailey’s in the frosting and a nice splash of whiskey in the glaze. The flavors are perfect. The only thing I would do differently next time is use espresso in place of the coffee. These make a great presentation at a St. Patrick’s Day party. I’m sharing them early in the week so you can plan ahead. Enjoy!
Irish Coffee Cupcakes adapted from Ready for Dessert
Makes: 18 cupcakes
For the Cupcakes
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup brewed coffee
6 Tbs. unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter, cut into pieces, at room temperature
1 1/4 cups packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs, at room temperature
2 tsp. vanilla extract
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line one12-cup and one 6-cup muffin tin with cupcake liners.
Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
In a medium saucepan, heat the coffee until almost boiling. Remove from the heat and whisk in the cocoa until dissolved, then add the butter, stirring until melted. Whisk in the brown sugar and let cool until tepid. Whisk in the eggs and vanilla, then stir in the flour mixture, mixing just until incorporated. Don’t over mix.
Divide the batter equally among the cupcake liners, each well will only be half full. Bake until the cupcakes feel just set in the center, 16-18 minutes. Let cool completely.
For the Frosting
8 ounce package cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup powdered sugar
3 tablespoons Irish cream liqueur, such as Bailey’s Irish Cream
In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment beat together the cream cheese, butter, and powdered sugar until smooth. Beat in the Irish cream liqueur.
Pipe frosting on top of cupcakes using a pastry bag or spread on with a spatula. You want a nice thick layer. Place cupcakes in the refrigerator while making the glaze. This will make them easier to dip.
For the glaze
8 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon light corn syrup
4 tablespoons whiskey
Melt the chocolate with the cream and corn syrup in a small saucepan over low heat, stirring until smooth. Remove from the heat and stir in the whiskey.
Dip the tops of the frosted cupcakes in the glaze right to the edge of the cupcake paper, let excess glaze drip off before turning upright. Let cool, right side up, until the glaze is firm. Store cupcakes in the refrigerator, remove and bring to room temperature (about 30 minutes) before serving. This recipe makes more glaze than you need, but makes it easier to dunk the tops of the cupcakes. Store remaining glaze in the refrigerator, it will form a whiskey ganache that can be used later as a hot fudge ice cream topping by slowly heating or added to hot milk for a whiskey hot chocolate.
Dublin coddle is considered one of Ireland’s national dishes. But like many of Ireland’s great foods, it is rich in fat.
Traditionally made with both bacon and sausage to flavor a base of potatoes and onions, Dublin coddle is an insanely good one-dish meal. And it would be a great choice for St. Patrick’s Day. Especially this more diet healthy version.
2 tablespoons canola or vegetable oil
6 ounces Canadian bacon, chopped
10 ounces chicken sausages (any variety), sliced into 1-inch-thick diagonal slices
2 large yellow onions, sliced
3 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tablespoons chopped fresh sage
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme
3 tablespoons chopped parsley
2 large russet potatoes, cut into thick slices
1 large sweet potato, cut into thick slices
2 carrots, cut into 1-inch chunks
2 apples, cut into 1-inch chunks
1 cup apple cider
1 cup chicken stock
Salt and ground black pepper
DIRECTIONS: In a large Dutch oven over medium-high, heat the oil. Add the Canadian bacon and saute until lightly browned, 3 to 4 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the bacon to a small bowl. Add the sausage to the pan and brown the slices on both sides, about 3 to 4 minutes per side. Transfer the sausage to the bowl of bacon. Add the onions and garlic to the pan, then sauté for 7 to 8 minutes, or until they begin to brown. Stir in the sage, thyme and parsley. Add the russet and sweet potatoes, carrots, apples and reserved meat. Pour the apple cider and chicken stock over everything. Cover and set over medium-low heat. Cook until the vegetables and potatoes are very tender, about 1 to 1-1/2 hours. Season with salt and pepper.
Makes 6 servings.
Nutrition information per serving (values are rounded to the nearest whole number): 340 calories; 90 calories from fat (26 percent of total calories); 10 g fat (2 g saturated; 0 g trans fats); 35 mg cholesterol; 49 g carbohydrate; 15 g protein; 5 g fiber; 670 mg sodium.
These are WAY better than Alec Baldwin’s ‘Schweddy Balls’ I promise! I’m fact I’ll go so far as to say “They’re Magically Delicious!”
This St. Patrick’s Day dessert is only for the grown-ups. Leprechaun Balls have both Irish whiskey and Bailey’s in them (and you know this combo makes a powerful nightcap called a Celtic Dream). Four or five of these will roughly equal a shot, so overindulgence could certainly make you plastered.
Too many of these alcoholic little green dessert treats, and you might end out kissing more than a Blarney Stone, this Saint Patrick’s Day…lol.
•box of vanilla wafers
•½ cup Baileys
•¼ cup Irish Whiskey
•2 tsp. cocoa powder
•white chocolate + green food coloring (or green candy melts)
•*optional holiday candy sprinkles
1. Crush the vanilla wafers in food processor (or in a plastic bag)
2. Separate the crushed wafers ⅔ in one bowl, ⅓ in another.
3. Add cocoa powder to smaller portion.
4. Pour Bailey’s into the larger portion of wafers, and mix thoroughly.
5. Pour Irish whiskey into the cocoa & wafer mixture. Mix well.
6. Make small (approx. ½ tsp size) balls from the whiskey blend.
7. Take a scoop of the Bailey’s mixture into the palm of your hand and press with fingers of your other hand to flatten out.
8. Put a whiskey ball in center, and wrap the flattened Bailey’s mix around it. Top with a little more of the Bailey’s mix to cover, then roll between palms to form a ball. Repeat.
9. Melt the candy melts or white chocolate (add a few drops of green food coloring if you like).
10. Use chopsticks (or pop sticks) to dip the balls to coat. (Roll in sprinkles while still a bit warm if you choose)
11. Allow to cool on the sticks, or place on waxed paper.
Notes: Approx 4-5 of these will equal a shot. [This will be important to keep in mind if you enjoy them with a cuppa Erin Go Braghaccino]
The Leprechaun Balls can also easily be popped on a stick, if you prefer. [Flat plastic coffee stirrers cut in 1/2 lengthwise are ideal. If you’ve a problem with them staying in use a dot of the chocolate dip as a glue and let them set a few minutes]
So to most of the world Irishmen have a reputation for being hard drinkers, any the brunt of more than a few jokes. Who do the Irish then use and the brunt of thier jokes and claim drink to excess more often then they? Simple. The Scotsman, whom the Irish claim to have been playing pranks on for centuries! Here’s a wee song ta prove me point.
The Meaning of the Shamrock
By: Alice Langholt
The meaning of the shamrock clover ranges from religious to rebellious.
The Shamrock in Early Ireland
The farmers who toiled on the hard Irish countryside had a deep love for shamrocks. This member of the clover family was a favorite food for livestock. Shamrock is a weed that grows quickly and is very difficult to eradicate. Farmers could let their animals eat as much as they wanted, safe in the knowledge that the shamrocks would grow back.
Religious Shamrock Representations
The three-leaf clover was adapted by the Druids for their Celtic religion. They used shamrocks for medicinal purposes and believed they could foretell the weather and keep evil spirits at bay. The number three has religious meaning in Celtic as well as Christian religions.
During the fifth century, St. Patrick adopted the shamrock as a religious symbol, noting that the three leaves represented the Holy Trinity of Christianity. As St. Patrick worked to spread Christian doctrine across Ireland, the shamrock became a symbol of his work. He was so loved that St. Patrick’s Day was named for him, although the religious connotations of the shamrock in the holiday celebration have mostly been forgotten.
Political Shamrock Representation
Between 1837 and 1901, during the reign of Queen Victoria, the Irish became subject to British rule. England attempted to outlaw the Catholic faith in favor of the Protestant and Anglican churches. Catholics continued to worship secretly, using the shamrock as a symbol of rebellion and to identify themselves to each other. This gave rise to the phrase, “Wearing of the Green.” Wearing a shamrock was no small offense; those found wearing shamrocks were subject to arrest and death by hanging.
Modern Shamrock Symbolism
Ireland has adopted the shamrock as a national symbol. It can be found on stamps, sports emblems, national crests and government buildings. The shamrock simply represents Ireland; on St. Patrick’s Day, the shamrock can be seen all over, worn by Irish and non-Irish citizens alike.
Okay Bing, ‘tis a proper Irish gentleman you’ve been for this entire issue. You nae think I’d forget or leave you out of a St Padriag’s Day observance totally did ya now? Get on in here and give is a wee bit o’ a send off. Nothing too rowdy now! Eh wuts that? Oh THAT one? That would be grand!