Good morning all-

As many of you know we here in Texas suffered some serious weather for the second weekend in a row last weekend. While we didn’t get near the amount of rain we did the week before the fact we did get copious amounts the previous weekend made what we did receive extremely problematic as the water table was so high in many places it couldn’t simply couldn’t hold anymore. That my friends is when the fun of widespread flooding starts. Doppler radar and automated rain gauges indicated that over 12 hours (roughly 10 PM Friday to 10 Am Saturday) 6 to 10 inches of rainfall had fallen over portions of eastern Harris County/N.W. Houston where I live.

As if that wouldn’t be enough fun as it is, the area had moderate to high winds, a few tornados, one about 80 miles from us with a sense of humor apparently:

That folks is the remnants of a house trailer picked up at a nearby trailer park and deposited on the roof of the Holiday Inn where the former residents of the trailer, probably in the short term, now reside. As you can see it wasn’t nearly as capricious and whimsical elsewhere in the town it hit:

Here at Casa del Cascarrabias (House of the Curmudgeon) fortunately we only had several small short lived Dust Devils come down the alley right outside my home office window. A Dust Devil for you who have never seen one is “a small whirlwind or air vortex over land, visible as a column of dust and debris.” These were between 2 & 4 foot in diameter and 8 to 12 feet tall. While the first brought mostly pine needles from the Lodge Pole Pines all around me. The second one battered my new windows with some large twigs from them as you can see here:

The second twig is partially hidden under the pine needles since that area tends to pond up. Needless to say while not in the tornado category, suddenly having such objects suddenly and repeatedly bounced off your windows for about 15 to 20 seconds then deposited in front of it while you’re hard at work less than 5 feet away (I took that photo from my desk) is a bit surprising and unnerving. Even Ninja Kitty Clan Mistress SC, who had been keeping watch out that particular window on the insidious leaves, birds and squirrels who threaten her fiefdom found it necessary and wise to immediately relocate to a safer window to keep watch.

We got our last hurrah Sunday night around 5 PM when it started raining again fairly steadily for about an hour before going full on fire hose for about twenty minutes then slowly tapering off to a stop. From this we picked up roughly another quarter inch of rain making out weekend total somewhere around six inches according to the recording sight at Bush Intercontinental Airport.

Now tomorrow the cycle is slated to start all over, our 3 weekend in a row of heavy rain events. We’re expected to receive another one to three inches between Thursday afternoon and Saturday evening.

OK enough chitchat, lets get to it shall we?

My old mug was a gift from one of Molly’s Aunts who was touched at the lengths I went to to save Clan Mistress SC who was a pregnant stray when I found her, even though it was Molly who first made friends with her was well as the devotion of the cat we had at the time to me.

It’s served me well for almost 10 years of near constant daily use (I’ll admit to switching to a thermal mug during the coldest part of the year) and hold a leprechaun’s thirst sized amount of coffee.  As you can see its showing serious signs of wear along the rim and bottom where the glazing was worn away. I’d have kept using it but lately when I fill it I get a slight soapy taste despite Molly’s vagarious rinsing after washing.  I’ve also heard a click/pop/snap/ting sort of sound several times, once when I was lifting it off the counter post refill and felt it in the handle 16oz of hot coffee sweetener and half & half all over the floor or carpet I don’t need so it’s getting retired and relegated to pen & pencil duty on my desk.

Meet my new daily use cup which arrived Friday. While it doesn’t hold quite what the old one did (about 4 oz. less) its much heavier. One of the major drawbacks with the old one was that it was very thin and didn’t posses enough thermal mass in relation to the amount of liquid it held to keep it warm until all the coffee was consumed. Even when the cup was preheated/warmed the last third of the cup was always ice cold.

I use a coffee maker with a 12 cup thermal carafe. To keep my Joe hot I first run 6 to 8 cups of water though the coffee maker to preheat the thermal carafe. I let this sit while I load the coffee maker then I fill my cup with hot water from the carafe before emptying the rest and making my coffee. This insures I have hot coffee for at least 8 hours post brew and usually more like 10.

Test have already shown that this cup will keep the coffee piping hot through out the whole cup when doing this. Additionally the smaller size will force me to get up more frequently and walk out to get a refill, something that I’m encouraged to do for my legs.

While I made a couple tests cups/runs with it, I didn’t fully deploy it until Saturday evening during the 4th quarter of the Notre Dame – Temple game when it looked like they might loose.

I’m happy to report my wearing of my Notre Dame Hat and drinking of Diet Pepsi out of the cup along with some rather inventive Irish invectives uttered after several plays turned the game around and we did narrowly win.

Now if you’ll excuse me, new cup is empty and I need a refill desperately.

 

Ode to Coffee (sung to the tune “Ode to Joy”)

Coffee, coffee, we adore thee!
Java glory, java love.
Brains awake like flowers before thee.
Raise our mugs to God above.

Melt the fog of sleepy stumbling;
drive the dark of night away.
Giver of immortal gladness,
caffeinate us for the day!

 

[The following took place last Saturday  at 10 AM in the Dragon Residence as I understand it. I was not there but managed to piece this together from separate recounts and debriefings after the fact –L.L.]

Impish, exhausted from his nonstop Disney adventure and very happy to be back home in his own bed, has been face down busily sawing pillow wood since Tuesday night when he returned. He’s been vaguely aware of the passage of some days when he feels someone shaking him in an ill advised attempt to disturb his beauty sleep for which he has marked off the remainder of the week on his personal calendar.

“Dad! Dad wake up! There are people outside!”

(groaning and pulling a pillow over his head) “Go away! And tell my adoring fans to go away too. I’m not here, I’m not me and I’m not back to work officially until Saturday morning when I present the issue. Today and tomorrow were officially canceled due to a lack of visual. I’ll get back to everyone about Friday later when I roll over.”

“‘A lack of visual?’ Dad what does that even mean? Can’t you see?!”

“What I can’t see is myself getting out of this bed before dinner time Friday and then only for dinner time. If whoever they are won’t go the hell away you have my permission to try out your Ninja skills on them. Just don’t tell Mom, get caught or arrested.”

“Uh Dad…it IS Saturday. Don’t worry about the issue, Uncle Lethal did most of the hard work for you and set it up to auto post in the conference room since it was raining and your field was muddy. There people outside, they have Body Armor, Guns and them silver clubs like Uncle Lapthal’s.”

A bleary bloodshot eye snaps opens and regards the dragonette momentarily. “If this is some ruse to get me up to drive you and your friends someplace, so help me Izzy…you kids just don’t know when to quit while you’re ahead do you?”

“Seriously Dad I’m scared! They wouldn’t let me out of the house even to get the paper! Please? I brought coffee, see?” She gestures to a large igloo style drink cooler with the spigot replaced with a gate valve and hose a top a rolling stool.

Impish grunts rolls on his side and opens his maw. Izzy inserts about 2 feet of hose then opens the gate valve. Rapid glugging noises are heard then begin to slow. Then the bloody shot eyeball reopens it looks a little more with it and stares at the cooler.

Getting the message Izzy loosens the top to relieve the vacuum that is forming and slowing Impish’s emergency coffee delivery system down. The rapid glugging sound resumes with a happy sighing. A few minutes later the glugging stops and Izzy removes the hose. A minute after that Impish groans, sits upright and scrubs his face with his hands before regard a bottom lip chewing Dragonette who knows full well the price she’ll pay for waking her Dad needlessly if that turns out to be the case- a full month of litter box duty at the office as well as in the yard at home picking up after her dog Bailey.

Impish regards her thoughtfully for a moment before asking, “Got any pictures of these dudes with the body armor and dangerous toys?” Izzy still chewing her bottom lip simply nods and proffers her cellphone for Impish to examine the photos she snapped. Impish scrolls through several before softly muttering ‘Aw Crap’ under his breath, handing Izzy back her phone and picking his up to examine it and uttering a second more emphatic ‘Aw Crap!’ when it fails to come to life due to a dead battery from his being too tired to remember to plug it in once the issue was completed.

As he stands up slipping his feet into his slippers Izzy dashes for his bathrobe which he dons and starts shuffling to the front door. When he gets there he opens the door just briefly gesturing out the door with his thumb towards the garage. Before closing and relocking it then navigating his way through the house to the garage door off the kitchen.

He opens the door but remains in the house . Reaching outside the door he feels around for the garage door button and presses it leaving his hand on it . After the door has risen about 3 feet someone and four very fleet of foot somethings duck under it. Impish  immediately presses the button again. The door reverse direction and closes. Then Impish steps into the garage, closing the door behind him. When the visitor makes to start speaking Impish stops him with a hand which he then cups to his ear, followed by jerking his thumb at the house. The visitor’s eyebrows go up and he nods. Impish crosses to a shelf with a radio on it and turns it on fairly loud and positions himself to watch the window in the house door for Padawan Ninja signs. He sees two Ninja cats he doesn’t recognize, one the hood and roof of the car as a third prowls about the kitchen door sniffing. Car roof cat seems to have it’s unblinking attention fixated on Impish’s visitor.

The Visitor and Impish stand close and speak into each others ears as Impish absent mindedly scratches the ears of Brutus who leaped from the top of the car into his arms to sit regarding the visitor with a surprising amount of naked hostility as evidence by the emphatic tail swatting Impish is getting.

“Sorry to have disturbed you sir. We were set by Mr. Leprechaun to provide perimeter security. Our orders were to let you sleep as long as it didn’t interfere with ensuring you and your family’s safety. I didn’t realize that not allowing your daughter to retrieve the paper would upset her to the point of her waking you.”

“Sergeant I don’t recognize you or your men. I’m unable to contact Lethal Leprechaun at the moment entirely due to my own fault so why don’t you tell me something that makes me not want to flame broil you like a giant breakfast sausage to have with my eggs and then why it was necessary for Lethal to assign my family a security detail in the first place.”

[I’ll have more on this later, right now I’m sure most of you would like the get on with the issue already. L.L.]

A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with “tor” and that also ate things.

The first little boy said, “Alligator.

“Very good James, that’s a big word.”

The second boy said, “Predator.”

“Yes, that’s another big word Alan. Very well done.”

Little Johnny says, “Vibrator.”

After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says, “That is a big word Johnny, but it doesn’t eat anything.”

“Well my mother has one and she says it eats fxxxing batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”

 

Answer Pet trivia for a great cause!

Purina^® will donate up to $40,000* to Dogs on Deployment, a non-profit group that helps find loving foster homes for our military’s pets.

Many of or troops have to give up or find someone to care for their pets when they are deployed, They have enough to worry about let’s help alleviate this one worry for them. It’s just 4 easy questions/day and takes about a minute after you register to play.

Help give back to our troops pets- click here

Dogs On Deployment

[It’s not just for dogs but all pets]

The Top 5 Reasons a Drug Costs $750 a Pill

A company called Turing Pharmaceuticals raised the price of a prescription drug called Daraprim that treats a life threatening parasitic infection from $13.50 to $750 a pill.

5. Because now these bad boys taste like BACON!!!

4. It comes with personal delivery by George Clooney, straight to your esophagus.

3. It costs that much to print all the side effects on the bottle.

2. This is so much safer than staging a raid on Ft. Knox.

And the Number One Reason a Drug Costs $750 a Pill…

1. Depending on your choice of news source, it’s the fault of either a Democratic or a Republican.

Fred Thompson, Former Senator, Actor and Presidential Candidate, Dies at 73

Fred D. Thompson, a former United States senator, actor and Republican presidential candidate, died on Sunday in Nashville. He was 73.

The cause was a recurrence of lymphoma, his family said in a statement.

Mr. Thompson had an unusual career, moving back and forth between national politics and mass-market entertainment. He left a regular role on the hit NBC drama “Law & Order” to run for president in 2008.

On television and on movie screens, Mr. Thompson was known for playing authoritative characters, but he was sometimes ambivalent in his political aspirations. While he brought gravitas to his on-screen characters, he often struggled on the campaign trail, especially during his unsuccessful run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2008.

Mr. Thompson compiled a solidly conservative voting record in the Senate, though aides said he showed little enthusiasm for divisive battles over abortion and other issues that motivated the religious right. In a 2007 interview, he told The New York Times that he had always felt that the Senate “was never meant to be the place where I would stay for my entire career.”

“You are either going to do the right thing, or you’re not,” he said. “If you are politically tacking all the time, it makes life too long and too complicated.”

Mr. Thompson, a lawyer, began his life in public service at the age of 30 with a lucky break when his mentor, Senator Howard H. Baker Jr., chose him over more experienced candidates to serve as Republican counsel on the Senate Watergate Committee.

His tough questioning of Alexander Butterfield, a former aide to President Richard M. Nixon, led to the revelation of recording devices in the Oval Office, a turning point in the investigation that ended in the president’s resignation. After the committee concluded its work, Mr. Thompson embarked on a lucrative legal and lobbying career.

He began acting when he was tapped to play himself in the 1985 movie “Marie.” The film, starring Sissy Spacek, was based on the life of Marie Ragghianti, the head of the Tennessee Board of Pardons and Paroles and a whistleblower, who revealed a clemency-selling scandal that brought down the Tennessee governor, Leonard Ray Blanton. Mr. Thompson had been Ms. Ragghianti’s lawyer.

By the time Mr. Baker talked him into running in a 1994 special election to fill the Senate seat from Tennessee vacated by Vice President Al Gore, Mr. Thompson had 18 movie credits, including “No Way Out,” “Days of Thunder” and “In the Line of Fire.”

On Election Day, he swept aside his Democratic opponent, Representative Jim Cooper, with 60 percent of the vote. In 1996, he just as easily won a full six-year term.

Mr. Gore issued a statement Sunday evening in which he praised Mr. Thompson for his dedication to public service.

“At a moment of history’s choosing, Fred’s extraordinary integrity while working with Senator Howard Baker on the Watergate Committee helped our nation find its way,” Mr. Gore said. “I was deeply inspired by his matter-of-fact, no-nonsense moral courage in that crucible. Tennessee and our nation owe a great debt to Fred Thompson.”

Mr. Thompson served eight years in the Senate before leaving his seat in 2002 for a role on “Law & Order.” He played Arthur Branch, a Manhattan district attorney.

Mr. Thompson believed his biggest role was yet to come, however, and in 2007 he asked the producers of “Law & Order” to release him from his contract so he could explore a bid for the Republican presidential nomination.

His supporters hoped that his on-screen charisma and small-town roots could make him into a modern-day Ronald Reagan, another conservative actor turned politician, but it was not to be. Mr. Thompson’s campaign was often languid and failed to attract significant support in the primaries, and he withdrew from the race in January 2008.

<truncated for brevity>

In April 2007, Mr. Thompson disclosed that he had been diagnosed three years earlier with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a cancer of the immune system. He said at the time that the cancer was in remission and that he had no symptoms.

In a statement on Sunday, his family said that growing up in a small town in Tennessee “formed the prism through which he viewed the world and shaped the way he dealt with life” and reinforced for him the values of hard work and a belief in American exceptionalism.

“Fred was the same man on the floor of the Senate, the movie studio, or the town square of Lawrenceburg,” his family said.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/02/us/politics/fred-thompson-former-senator-actor-and-presidential-candidate-dies-at-73.html?mwrsm=Email&_r=0

He was a shining example of what America once was and should return to and despite his failure early on the the Republican Presidential Primary race I was proud to wear my ‘I’m With Fred’ hat and still would be just as proud today.

Your Portal To The Best Free Online Tools

The web is full of amazingly useful sites that allow you to do just about anything for free, with no need to download or install software on your PC. Whether you’re searching for an online dictionary or thesaurus, an image or video editor, financial data, language translation, tools to help you play Scrabble or solve a crossword clue, or just about anything else, it’s out there. Trouble is, it can be hard to find the best site for the job.

Which is why I’m rather taken by a site called iTools, which is a single-page portal to hundreds of sites. The headline of iTools is “Use the best tools for the job”, and that sums it up pretty accurately. I’m sure it’s also no coincidence that the site color theme is yellow, as this single page of links is as useful than any Yellow Pages I’ve ever used.

You can check it out at www.itools.com and you’ll need nothing more than a web browser in order to do so.

OK, I am reasonably well informed, that despite my inability to comprehend it, a phenomena exists where some people post Halloween are scratching their heads and searching for something to do with their left over candy. This has never been a problem in any of my households. Thanksgiving/Christmas leftovers, or excess Easter eggs being a problem requiring inventive uses recipes I can understand, but not Halloween candy.  In our house this allegedly problematic leftover candy is known as ‘Molly’s Haul’ and I have to beg, fight for and sometimes even steal and hide some to get any.

However since for some of you this might be a problem here’s a solution to (I can’t believe I’m actually typing this!)  get you family to eat the leftover Halloween candy without complaining.

Chocolate Candy Pie

This versatile pie can morph to fit many moods. Freeze it for an icy delight, or just refrigerate instead if you’re looking for something a little softer (or you run out of time). Or leave out the candy all together for something a little less rich. You decide

Total Time: 4 hr. 20 min
Prep: 10 min
Inactive: 4 hr.
Cook: 10 min
Yield: 1 pie (12 servings)
Level: Intermediate

 

 

Ingredients

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 3/4 cups milk
3 large egg yolks
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups chopped assorted chocolate-covered candy, plus additional candy, for garnish
1 1/4 cups heavy cream
One 6-ounce chocolate or regular graham cracker crumb pie crust

Directions

Whisk together the cocoa powder, cornstarch, sugar and salt in a medium saucepan. Gradually whisk in the milk in a slow stream. Whisk in the egg yolks.
Place the mixture over medium heat and cook, whisking constantly, until it just begins to boil, 6 to 7 minutes. Reduce the heat to low and cook, whisking, until thick, about 1 minute.

Remove from the heat and transfer to a large bowl. Whisk in the butter and vanilla. Cover with plastic wrap, pressing directly onto the surface of the pudding to prevent a skin from forming. Cool to room temperature, about 1 hour.

Fold the chopped candy into the pudding. Whip 3/4 cup of the cream with an electric mixer just until stiff peaks form. Fold a third of the whipped cream into the pudding to lighten it, and then fold in the other two-thirds until no streaks remain. Transfer to the pie crust and freeze until firm but not frozen solid, about 3 hours.
Whip the remaining 1/2 cup cream just until soft peaks form. Spread over the pie and garnish decoratively with sliced or chopped candy.

Cook’s Note: The pie can be frozen overnight and thawed at room temperature for 10 to 15 minutes before slicing; it can also be refrigerated instead of frozen.
Use the plastic insert of the pie crust, flipped upside down, as a lid to cover the pie while freezing.

As for the rest of us who are already out of Halloween Candy, here are a couple sweet treats sure to put a smile on your face and a happy in your tummy.

 

Knock-You-Naked Brownies

Total Time: 3 hr. 50 min
Prep: 15 min
Inactive: 3 hr.
Cook: 35 min
Yield: 6 servings
Level: Easy

 

 

 

 

Ingredients

1 stick butter, melted, plus more for greasing
All-purpose flour, for dusting
1/3 plus 1/2 cup evaporated milk
One 18.5-ounce box German chocolate cake mix (I use Duncan Hines)
1 cup finely chopped pecans
60 caramels, unwrapped
1/3 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup powdered sugar, sifted

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 9-by-9-inch baking pan.
Begin by pouring 1/3 cup evaporated milk into a bowl with the cake mix. Add the melted butter and the chopped pecans. Mix the ingredients together; it’ll be pretty thick!
Divide the dough in half down the middle. Press half of it into the bottom of the prepared pan to make the first brownie layer. Bake until slightly set, 8 to 10 minutes. Then remove from the oven and set aside.

While the brownie layer is baking, in a double boiler (or glass bowl set over a bowl of simmering water) combine the caramels and the remaining 1/2 cup evaporated milk. Stir occasionally until the caramels are totally melted and the mixture is smooth. Pour the caramel mixture over the first baked layer, spreading so it’s evenly distributed. Sprinkle the chocolate chips all over the top.

Next, on a clean surface or a sheet of waxed paper, press the remaining dough into a square shape slightly smaller than the baking pan. Carefully set it on top of the chocolate chips. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes. Remove the pan from the oven and let the brownies cool to room temperature. Cover the pan and refrigerate the brownies for several hours to allow them to set.

When you’re ready to serve them (or give them to someone you love!) sprinkle generously with the powdered sugar and cut them into large rectangles before removing from the pan. These are absolutely killer.

Autumn in a Pan: Pumpkin Caramel Skillet Cake with Maple Glaze

Pumpkin Cake

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup butter (1 stick), softened but not melted
1 cup pure pumpkin filling (not pumpkin pie filling)
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Easy Caramel Sauce [recipe follows]

Maple Glaze

1/2 cup pure maple syrup
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup sifted confectioners’ sugar

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Prepare caramel sauce. Remove from heat and set aside to cool slightly.
To make the cake, prepare 12-inch skillet by rubbing bottom and sides with about 1 tablespoon of butter or generously spraying with nonstick spray.
In a large bowl combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, pumpkin pie spice and salt. Make a well in the center of flour mixture, then add in sugar, butter, pumpkin, egg and vanilla extract.

Mix by hand until fully incorporated. Mixture will be thick. Once it’s combined, press half of the mixture into the bottom of a prepared 12-inch skillet. Make sure the pumpkin cake batter goes halfway up the sides of the skillet. Pour cooled caramel over pumpkin cake batter. Drop remaining pumpkin cake batter over the caramel by the spoonful. Try to cover the caramel as well as you can.

Bake for 22 to 28 minutes or until edges are firm and golden.
While cake is baking, prepare maple glaze.

Bring maple syrup and butter to a low boil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring constantly (about 2 minutes).
Remove from heat; gradually whisk in confectioners’ sugar until smooth. Whisk for about 1 minute or until mixture begins to thicken and cool slightly.

Remove cake from oven and allow to cool in skillet for 5 minutes. Pour maple glaze over cake and serve immediately.

Easy Caramel Sauce

Total Time: 30 min | Prep: 10 min | Inactive: 10 min | Cook: 10 min | Yield: 1 1/2 cups

Ingredients

1 packed cup brown sugar
1/2 cup half-and-half
4 tablespoons butter
Pinch salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Directions

Mix the brown sugar, half-and-half, butter and salt in a saucepan over medium-low heat. Cook while whisking gently for 5 to 7 minutes, until it gets thicker. Add the vanilla and cook another minute to thicken further. Turn off the heat, cool slightly and pour the sauce into a jar. Refrigerate until cold.

 

 

 

Believe it or not, this story is true and not an urban legend or joke:
http://www.snopes.com/medical/asylum/fbipizza.asp

FBI agents conducted a “search and seizure” at the Southwood
Psychiatric Hospital in San Diego, which was under investigation for
medical insurance fraud. After hours of poring over many rooms of
financial records, some sixty FBI agents worked up quite an appetite.

The case agent in charge of the investigation called a local pizza
parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.

The following telephone conversation took place:
Agent: Hello. I would like to order nineteen large pizzas and sixty-
seven cans of soda.

Pizza man: And where would you like them delivered?

Agent: To the Southwood Psychiatric Hospital.

Pizza man: To the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That’s right. I’m an FBI agent.

Pizza man: You’re an FBI agent?

Agent: That’s correct. Just about everybody here is.

Pizza man: And you’re at the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That’s correct. And make sure you don’t go through the front
doors. We have them locked. You’ll have to go around to the back to
the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.

Pizza man: And you say you’re all FBI agents?

Agent: That’s right. How soon can you have them here?

Pizza man: And you’re over at Southwood?

Agent: That’s right. How soon can you have them here?

Pizza man: And everyone at Southwood is an FBI agent?

Agent: That’s right. We’ve been here all day and we’re starving.

Pizza man: How are you going to pay for this?

Agent: I have my check book right here.

Pizza man: And you are all FBI agents?

Agent: That’s right, everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember
to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We
have the front doors locked.

Pizza man: I don’t think so.
               -— Click -—

So THAT’S what Mrs. Dragon meant when she said they’d never find his scaly hide! I’ll just bet there’s matching shoes and luggage too.

Student Who Saw Cop Slam Black Girl Reveals Massive Detail Media Refuses to Report

An anonymous Spring Valley High School student brought liberal race-baiters to their knees this week when he argued that the unidentified black girl who was seen being ripped from her seat and dragged across the floor by Richland County Deputy Ben Fields was as much to blame as him.

“In the video it was very shocking to see how that was happening, but I honestly think that it was a two-way thing and the officer was wrong, but also the girl was wrong,” the student told WLTX. “They are a higher power, the least you could do is respect them and follow orders.”

The incident began Monday in Columbia, South Carolina, after the black girl refused to turn over to a teacher a cellphone she was using in class and then refused to leave the classroom. Fields was called in to assist, and after the girl refused to comply with his orders, he took action.

Two videos of the incident soon flooded social media, leading liberal race-baiters to scream “racism” and Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott to fire Fields.

But then this same anonymous student uploaded a third video of the incident to Instagram, and this one showed the girl hitting Officer Fields, not that this mattered to either liberals or Sheriff Lott.

According to this student, the whole incident could have been prevented if his female classmate would have simply followed orders.

“She was even told by the students to leave when the administrator came in,” he explained. “We tried to put our input in just to help her.”

He added, “Fields was really trying to do his job.”

And yet because of the type of racial grievance mongering made popular by President Barack Hussein Obama, Fields was apparently fired for doing just that — his job.

Oh man! Where to start with all this Liberal touchy-feely media courting the black ‘Police are bad” vote BULLSHIT!

1.) The liberal progressive thinking ‘You-can’t-spank-your-child-for-misbehaving-because that’s-child-abuse!’ education experts have allowed/caused things to become so bad within our schools that we have to have Police Officers patrolling the hallways to maintain discipline and order. NOT of course that they will admit it, they are firmly rooted in their circular logic of illogic and comforted by their blanket denial and hiding behind a cloak of protection they try to pass off a confidentiality for the kids,“oh those are RESOURCE officers we don’t effectively have a police substation in each school” (coughing into fist) Liberal Bullshit!

2.) Now that you’ve mismanaged their education and stripped the parents of their right to corporal discipline to arrive at a point where the teachers themselves are routinely attacked and you have to have guards in the school. You want to attack the guards when they are called in to deal with a situation you are unable or unwilling to deal with yourself!

You blithering brain dead idiots! OF COURSE they are going to put the kid down cuff him and drag him out of there! YOU and the kid left him NO OTHER OPTION! You brought him in to deal with a kid who’s levels of disobedience and hostility towards authority figures was escalating. Failing to resolve the issue in a fast and authoritative manner was his only option if he expected to keep doing his job effectively. You want touchy feely get the school shrink or a guidance councilor not a cop.

3.) She escalated things even further by committing the ultimate no-no when dealing with the police, she resisted being taken into custody by physically assaulting the officer. Once you cross that Rubicon all bets are off. The officer has to take you down hard fast and non gently. That’s called instilling respect for the consequences of failing to heed the commands of a police officer. The student is actually quite lucky that because of the roomful of other students mace was not used and that he , likely in deference to her age didn’t respond by tasering the student for assaulting him.

4.) Is you don’t like what he had to do to get his hands on her and control her STOP USING DESKS AND CHAIRS THAT ARE ALL IN ONE UNITS! She was clearly using that fact to attempt to make it difficult for the officer to remove her. He simply did what he had to in order to negate the advantage the desk/chair all in one unit gave her.

5.) Why aren’t the parents being blamed for any of this. Are that not responsible for the kids behavior? I’ll tell you why.

a.) The media loves the whole  ‘Black live matter / Police are bad’  social unrest bullshit. If the were fair and honest about their reporting the story might go away. BOOM! Nothing for talking heads to talk out their asses about anymore.

b.) The media knows the truth, the student behaves that way both in class and to the police because its behavior learned form her parent[s]. Plain and simple. It’s an attitude fostered at home and practiced by he parents.

IF you ask me Richland County Deputy Ben Fields, needs to be reinstated, apologized publicly to by the school, the teacher, the student, her parents, paid his back pay AND the pay for being a teacher for a day for teaching that class a life lesson graphically. Namely- “Either you respect the police, do what they say and don’t try to resist paying for your crimes by attacking the police or the ‘po-po’ gonna to drop a shit ton of hurt on yo sorry azz beeyotch! Den you just be going to jail, hurtin,  for a lot longer and makin your mouth piece’s job a lot harder and well as raisin yo bail dogg.

This just in from Ima ‘Diva’ Dwarf who keeps tabs on Hollyweird, the entertainment industry and the Celebrity/Political Gossip for us:

What major movie company just released it planned movie releases for the next for years while a certain dragon was seen vacationing there?

That’s right Disney did.

Now here’s another question for you. Is it just a coincidence that the list is released the same time a certain well known to us Dragon is vacationing there and on that list is a remake of a very famous movie co-staring a dragon?

Next summer will also include a reboot of Pete’s Dragon, starring Bryce Dallas Howard. The 1977 Disney original follows a young orphan seeking the help of a giant dragon. Other stars involved are Wes Bentley, Robert Redford and Karl Urban. It will be released Aug 12th, 2016.

No word as yet on who will star as the Dragon, but given the timing of the announcement that  the project will go forward one has to wonder. One also has to wonder why this was news to his agent a certain well known Leprechaun when I asked him for a comment. This reporter smells a freeze out. Hope the Leprechaun has some warm clothes and some more loyal clients because its sudden feeling a little frosty here!

I’d be interested to a good answer to that last question too Diva and you’re right it IS starting to feel a wee frosty. For more on the up coming movies click the following links. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go see a certain weasel in a dragon suit client about playing a dragon in a movie I know nothing about.

IMPISH! A word about your trip please!

Disney Just Announced an Incredible Lineup of Films for the Next Two Years

Disney Announces Release Dates for ‘Incredibles 2,’ ‘Cars 3’

A couple gratuitous Fall Foliage Photo from near my home town in Connecticut. One of the few things I miss about living in Texas, Mother Nature’s living landscape paintings of New England in Fall. 

Nunchuk-wielding shampoo thief charged in bus-based sword attack

Seattle woman accused of chasing man with sword after chance clash on downtown bus

by Seattlepi.com reporter Levi Pulkkinen

A Seattle woman fresh from jail after a nunchuk attack is now accused of chasing a stranger off a King County Metro bus – with a sword.

Facing her third assault-related charge of the year, Sharnika Joy Armstead is accused of dashing after a man who jostled her aboard a downtown bus. Armstead, a recently homeless West Seattle resident, is accused of waving a sheathed short sword at the object of her ire.

Armstead, 26, had been released from King County Jail six weeks before the Sept. 14 incident. She served a 74-day stint after bashing a two men with nunchuks during a shampoo theft from a North Seattle supermarket.

Charged Tuesday in the bus incident, Armstead is also accused of brutally beating another woman at a Belltown women’s shelter on Aug. 19. Prosecutors claim Armstead, in a “vicious and unprovoked assault,” punched the other woman repeatedly in the head to steal her makeup bag.

Armstead’s current spate of legal troubles began May 18, when she beat up two men at a Grocery Outlet store in Seattle’s Lake City neighborhood.

Armed with homemade nunchuks, Armstead attacked the store owner after she was caught stealing a bottle of shampoo from the discount grocery. Armstead bit a store employee during the fight.

Armstead was arrested at the scene and ultimately sentenced to three months in jail for the assaults. She was released July 31.

She is alleged to have seriously hurt another woman at Angeline’s Center for Homeless Women two weeks later. According to charging papers, Armstead punched the woman repeatedly in the face while stealing her makeup bag.

Armstead remained free until Sept. 14, when she is alleged to have accosted a man on a Metro Transit D Line bus.

At 2:30 p.m. that day, Armstead was sleeping on Ballard-bound bus as it approached Bell Street on Third Avenue. Another passenger apparently bumped Armstead as he sat down next to her.

Awake and upset, Armstead slapped the man in the face, according to charging papers. The man called 911 and stepped off the bus. Armstead followed.

Armstead drew what witnesses initially thought was a “stick-like object” that had been tucked down the back of her hooded sweatshirt, a King County Sheriff’s Office detective said in charging papers. Investigators claim it was actually a sheathed, 18-inch sword.

When deputies arrived to arrest her, Armstead had tucked the sword back into its hiding spot along her spine, the detective continued. Deputies reported that Armstead struggled with them during her arrest, kicking one in the chest.

Armstead has been charged with attempted second-degree assault in the bus incident. She also faces a first-degree robbery charge in the August incident at the women’s shelter. She remains jailed on $155,000 bail.

Daylight Saving Time: Keep it year round

By Scott C. Yates http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/30/opinions/yates-daylight-saving-time-keep-it-year-round/index.html?eref=rss_us

(CNN) On Sunday, November 1, it will again be the end of Daylight Saving Time. Many of us will be muttering to ourselves as we wander around resetting all of our various clocks — on the thermostat, clock radio and stove, among other places.

Sure, you’ll get an extra hour of sleep by turning back the clock by an hour in the fall. But if you have a regular day job, you’ll be commuting home in the dark instead of in daylight come the following day.

Why do we do this every fall? And why do we dial forward the clock by an hour every spring?

Daylight Saving Time was around for a good part of the 20th century, but there’s no really good reason why we should continue with the status quo.

The U.S. government started moving into and out of “Daylight Saving Time” during World War I to copy the Germans, who said they were doing it to save fuel. When the war ended, the U.S. government wisely repealed the law since it proved unpopular.

During WWII, it came back — again with the notion that it would somehow conserve resources. After the second war, the U.S. converted factories from making bombs to making cars and consumer products. The GIs came home. But Daylight Saving Time just stuck around.

Numerous polls show that people want to stay in Daylight Saving Time year round, or at least just stick with either Standard or Daylight time and stop switching clocks around. Two states, Arizona and Hawaii, already keep their clocks the same all year long.

We may have reached a tipping point to end the clock-changing madness.

First, the U.S. Department of Energy issued a report in 2008 that examined the impact of extended Daylight Saving Time. A four-week extension (allegedly- there are of course reports that refute this as well- L.L.) would save approximately 0.5% of electricity per day for the country. Put in perspective, it’s enough energy to power 100,000 households for a year.

The second strong case for staying in Daylight Saving Time year round is that we can save lives. A recent study shows the switching of clocks in the spring causes a 25% jump in heart attacks in the few days following the switch, confirming earlier research that point out the shift in time can disrupt the quality of sleep and biological rhythms.

Taking away an hour of sleep and jolting you awake in the predawn darkness is simply bad for your health, especially if you are elderly or have a heart condition, researchers noted.

So here’s the question: If you have a chance to save lives and save electricity, would you do it?

Sure you would, right? But you haven’t, and neither have I. Why? Maybe because we’re all a little too sleep deprived and discombobulated to do something after all that clock-changing.

In 2013, a member of the Missouri legislature proposed moving the state to permanent Daylight Saving Time if 19 other states would join its effort. The state House voted to approve the measure, HB340, but it didn’t go anywhere in the Senate.

The idea is smart and worth revisiting. The hard part is how to get this more traction. Here’s an alternative proposal: Legislatures pass a bill whereby if at least 31 other states pass similar bills, their state will then switch to permanent Daylight Saving Time. With Arizona and Hawaii already in, that adds up to two-thirds, or 33, states. Thirty-three is the number of states needed to pass a constitutional amendment, and while this is not a constitutional issue, it seems like a good standard to meet.

So how can we convince all these local governments to take on this initiative?

We need help from students, who can create interdisciplinary projects combining science, math, social studies and government, to show why we need to get rid of this outdated concept. If we all pitch in a little, we’ll be able to save energy and lives.

In short, it’s about time.

The Sergeant swallows audibly, then snaps to and salutes. “Gunnery Sergeant Axel Timber sir. Formerly USMC now part of the Dire Wolves. We’re a…’unique skill set military style security company….”

“You mean you’re mercenaries, hired guns loyal to the pay day” Impish interrupts.

The Gunny flashes a surprisingly long toothed smile at Impish and responds “Oh we’re so much more sir…most of us have served under or worked with Mr. Leprechaun in the past. In fact it was his suggestion and bank roll that got us started. Additionally we’re all lycanthropes.” As if to demonstrate the validity of his statement he extends a single finger which sprouts a claw suddenly and points it in the direction of Brutus who instantly seems to double in size and being hissing and spitting at the Sergeant while exposing his legendary and sizable sharps.

Impish pats and restrains the Ninja kitty. “Easy pal, he’d be well done before he even changed and got free of all that stuff he’s wearing.” Brutus looks Impish in the eye a moment then resumes his original position but doesn’t seem the least bit mollified by Impish’s confident assertion

“That an explanation of who and what you are, but so far I haven’t heard anything proving Lethal sent you or that you are even needed and seeing as I’ve ben asleep for 3 solid days plus a bit I am getting hungry. Can we hurry this along please?” Impish’s request is punctuated by a loud rumble of his belly

“Sir with regard to that I was briefed by Mr. Leprechaun that once I saw activity in the house I was to dispatch men to the local Subway shop right away to obtain your favorite breakfast sandwich in quantity for you. Namely an Italian BMT with Eggs and Sriracha hot sauce between 2 flat bread with melted cheese- provolone and double meat of course hold the veg.  I expect them to arrive at any moment now.”

At this Impish raises a speculative eyebrow then glances down at Brutus who expresses his opinion with a lion sized sneeze followed by industriously licking his paw and cleaning his face. “And my family…”

“Doesn’t like Subway’s idea of breakfast. They’ll receive McDonalds full breakfasts with a request for extra syrup for your daughter and Apple not orange juice. I was told you’d prefer your own coffee.”

“Ok. So much for your bonafides, you’re apparently legit but those infernal magical dancing shillelagh pretty much told me that. Now why are you here? What’s happened that Lethal felt compelled to hire outside help I’ve never heard of before to protect me? What has our own security so tied up?”

“Sir it is my duty to inform you that DL/LL HQ is currently FPCON CHARLIE status. There was an attack last night during Devil’s Night sir. I’m not authorized to give you the details, not that I even have a clear understanding of what went on. We were hired at Zero One Hundred, briefed on board the most tricked out, fastest plane I have even seen in my life at O-One Thirty, equipped and in position here by O-Three Hundred. Frankly sir I think my tail might be some place back in Syria still.”

“Lethal went to all this length over some TP’s of our Corporate Offices? Hardly sounds like him. Frankly I’m surprised he wasn’t out TPing some Liberal Stronghold himself known that rascal.”

“Sir as I said I don’t know specifics but from what little I heard in the background while we were being briefed, well its quite a bit more serious than that. I believe there were fatalities and I think I heard the phrase ‘airborne delivered target specific improvised  incendiary ordinance’. Does that phrase mean anything to you sir? I’ve never heard of such an ordinance load.”

Gunnery Sergeant Axel Timber finds himself bowled aside as Impish drops the bathrobe, unceremoniously dumps Brutus on the car’s roof, reaches for the emergency garage door disconnect and starts transforming into Big Blue, practically all at the same time. The last thing he hears as Impish unfurls his wings and leaps skyward are the directions and  admonishment “Let the Ninja cats in the house then lock the garage door. Tell Izzy she and my wife are to remain inside until they hear from me or Lethal. Watch out for my headstrong daughter, she harbors the illusion she’s already a full trained ninja and chaffs at authority as only a teenager can.” His voice starts to go faint but the Gunny’s augmented wolf hearing clearly catches a phrase he wished he missed, “…and if anything happens to my family you’re whole team is going to wish I had just flame broiled you like a bunch of brown and serve sausages when I first laid eyes on you!”

More on Saturday. Enjoy the rest of your week. – L.L.

Good Morning Campers,

Lots of information to impart and very little time to do it.  It is very late Friday night and due to our family vacation, this is very last minute.  But, no worries, it will be a full issue, and since we are all still at the Halloween Party, not many of you are going to be in shape tomorrow morning to get much out of it anyway.

Well, the issue is jam packed full of Halloween humor, a lot of it thanks to Lethal Leprechaun, who, as usual, had my six the whole time I was gone and worked diligently to help me out.

First of all, a reminder…

Tis Daylight Savings Time’s end for another year.  You get an extra hour of sleep Sunday.  You’ll find several more reminders throughout the issue, just to remind you.

Okay, so one quick picture of the Dragon Family on vacation and we’ll move on…

So, I was only kidding.  Here’s a real one:

Yup, that’s almost the whole family.  The only ones missing are Papa Dragon and his lovely wife.  So, sorry.  Can’t show anymore.  No time.  Gotta get back to the party.

so…

Let’s start out with a great site sent to me by Lethal Leprechaun…

Meet Donald Trumpkin and more famous Pumpkins
http://www.click2houston.com/lifestyle/meet-donald-trumpkin-and-more-famous-pumpkins/36082424

 

Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous:

Recently, a female sheriff’s deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night.

The next day, at the Gwinnet County, Georgia courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. He explained: ‘As there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around,’ he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin  that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in  it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.

“Guess I was really into it, y’know?” he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff’s car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.

‘It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure;’ said Deputy Taylor, ‘I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just humping away at this pumpkin’.

Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. ‘I said: “Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin?”

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: “A pumpkin? Shit . . . is it midnight already?”

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10.00 and sent on his way.

The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as “The best come-back line ever.”

 

 

And here’s another one from LL…pumpkin carving ideas

 

 

When I see a rich snooty looking woman in the grocery store, I pretend that I’m looking for something and I go up to her and say, “Excuse me.  Do you work here?
Just to knock her down a couple of notches.

 

 

Yup, it’s me.  I’m painted green for Halloween and my horde is, of course, candy. 

 

 

 

 

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did
not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment ‘RENT FOR APARTMENT.’

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a
check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

‘Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
#1 – it had never been occupied;
#2 – there was plenty of heat; and
#3 – it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

However, I found out that:
#1 – it had been previously occupied,
#2 – there wasn’t any heat, and
#3 – it was entirely too large.’

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

‘Dear Sir:
#1 – I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 – As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 – Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.
       So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just spent an hour watching this video, then the next one in line and the next one in line and the next…, you get the idea.  People really are awesome!!!!

 

What an absolute classic!!!

 

Here’s another great video to watch….If you’re gonna be dumb…
https://vimeo.com/81908488

 

 

 

It’s all about magic.  But, isn’t that true throughout the multi-verse?  Magic in the plants that grow, the people you meet, the air we breath?  Magic is everywhere.  And for us to think that what we see, what we can imagine, is all that there is out there…when then aren’t we arrogant…

ALL THE TIME!!!  Or a podcast pair, or a morning radio show team or….geez, Lethal and I could do ANY of those things.  And yet we’ve decided to entertain you guys.
Well, and ourselves.  Man, if all of you were privy to all the conversations and interactions that go on between the two of us, you’d have starved to death by now, because you wouldn’t have stopped laughing long enough to eat or drink anything.
So, by all means, feel very special that we’re entertaining you!

 

 

I so want to try this…..I truly do!

Although NOT with the Ninja Kitties!!!!  I have a wicked sense of humor, but I’m not STUPID!!!

 

 

 

 

Dang!  That happens every single time I get stopped if I’m with Lethal Leprechaun.

 

Okay, this next one is really funny…and also quite sad.  Because it’s so true.

 

 

Here’s a great story:

When I worked at the BMP, the Head of Television commuted in from Brighton every day.

He started reading The Exorcist on the train.  He said he thought it was the most evil book he’d ever read.  In fact, he said it was so evil he couldn’t finish it.  So, at the weekend, he went to the end of Brighton pier and threw it as far as he could into the water.

So, I went to the bookshop and I bought another copy.  Then I ran it under the tap until it was soaking wet.  I then left it in his desk drawer for him to find.

What a perfect prank!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stare deeply into my eyes…..

 

 

 

Well, I’m sure you all are wondering what happened between Impish and his beautiful wife, who is currently a banshee trapped in a Ghost Buster’s ghost trap…so, let’s finish off today’s issue with the story as we know it so far.

Special thanks goes to Lethal Leprechaun for writing this part for me, since I was so late in getting started on today’s issue.

As far as timelines go…this all took place last week:

 

As you make your way into the annual Halloween party in your costume (you saw a few people refused admittance without one) you spot the promised band ‘Frankie Stein and the Four Shrouds tuning up in one corner of the stage. Lethal and Impish are standing near by in their costumes for Diaman to take a photo of. Lethal is dressed in a New England Patriots uniform, cowboy boots and spurs, while Impish wear that of the Indianapolis Colts…with one curious addition, a saddle on his back. This puzzles you until Lethal leaps into it yelling something about putting the spurs to Impish the same way the Pats did the Colts 2 weeks ago. Impish grumbles something about deflating Lethal’s balls under his breath but is cut off when they notice the arrival of the last of the guests.

Lethal makes to start his opening remarks when suddenly Impish busts out in guffaws at what ever the security guard who had been approaching them showed him. At Lethal’s raised eyebrow and perturbed body language Impish gestures for the guard to show Lethal what ever it is that has rendered him speechless due to laughter.

Lethal steps down from the podium and you can hear over the live mic the faint mummer of a hasty conversation from the security guard and then Lethal’s responding “Show me” just before the sound of Irish laughter intermingled with the words,”BEGORRAH! I don’t bloody well care who you are, that’s funny right there, but HELLS NO! he doesn’t get in dressed like that! I don’t care if he is one of the original DragonLaffs readers from way back. That’s not a costume, it IS funnier than shit, but not a costume.”

Lethal resumes is position at the podium, “Sorry about that folks, as Impish warned you on Saturday there is a strict mandatory costume policy for this celebration and while we’ve allowed a great deal of leeway and creative interpretation this just does make the cut:”

His name is apparently ‘Bob’ and he claims to be a founding reader of DragonLaffs from back when Impish managed the issues via his email program.

Allegedly he came as ‘Impish Dragon’, the hat constituting his ‘dragon wings’ and the cigar representing the smoke curling out a dragons nose was well as the fiery breath aspect. I’m not entirely sure but I think the legend on the hat is some sort of subtle message or commentary on something or other.

Apparently he claims he would have worn his blue T-shirt to complete the outfit but that it was currently stained with Pizza sauce and wanted to be cut slack for that.

You ask me, the blue T-shirt pizza sauce and all would have lent a heck of a lot of credibility to his costume because of the pizza sauce, something which Impish is frequently seen wearing in large quantity!

Just two foot notes before we commence the celebrating:

1.) Party ends Sundown on Saturday, which is Halloween. Halloween in a magical place like DL/LL Digital Media HQ can be extremely hazardous for you mundanes. You have been forewarned and please note we will NOT be responsible for anything you experience or any mysterious disappearances of readers after Sundown Saturday.

2.) Because if I attempt to stuff anything further into this issue it may quite literally explode, our recounting of events concerning Impish and myself will resume on Saturday with Impish’s issue once again. Tune in Saturday to see what happens when Mrs. Dragon gets out of the ghostbusters trap and if I can talk Impish out of the mess I put him in in the first place.

OK enough talking! Eat, Drink, Put the make on Ginny err that is Make Mary and generally Party Hardy- but only to excess!

Study: Psychopaths take their coffee black

People who like bitter foods such as black coffee, radishes more likely to possess antisocial traits, study says.

People who take their coffee black are more likely to possess antisocial and psychotic personality traits, according to a study published in the journal Appetite.

The University of Innsbruck in Austria study included around 1,000 people and found that subjects who preferred bitter notes in their food and beverages scored higher on questionnaires that assessed “Machiavellianism,” a word used in psychology to describe people with psychopathic, narcissistic and sadistic personality traits, reports the Huffington Post.

The data was was self-reported, which is an unreliable metric, but researchers hope their study will prompt further investigation into links between eating habits and psychological traits, reports the Huffington Post.

 

HALLOWEEN SCARE PRANK – DEVIL’S DAUGHTER

The gates of hell have begun to lift open as we get closer to Halloween. Devil’s Daughter has traveled to our world.

 

Halloween by the numbers

• Consumers will spend $6.9 billion this Halloween, according to the National Retail Federation
• 64: Percent of Americans who plan to celebrate Halloween this year
• 41.2 million: Potential trick-or-treaters ages 5-14 according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
• $74.34: The average amount Americans will spend on candy, costumes, and decorations.
• $2.1 billion: Projected spending on Halloween candy in the U.S. in 2015.
• “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” premiered 49 years ago
• 49.5 million: Acres of pumpkins harvested in the U.S. in 2014.
• 12.9: Percent of owners who plan to dress up their pets this year. For scary cats and dogs, the costume to beat is a pumpkin.
• 11: Years in a row that a witch has been the number one adult Halloween costume in the U.S.
• $255 million: U.S. Box office earnings of horror movies in 2014.

Famous ghosts the world has no idea how to explain

Child at the Railroad Crossing

Several children were killed at a railroad crossing located in San Antonia, Texas. Locals will tell you that their ghosts still linger at the spot, and will push idle cars across the track – even though the path is uphill.

 

 

 

The Grey Lady of Hampton Court

A ghostly figure was caught on surveillance slamming doors near one of King Henry the VIII’s favorite spots. Some say it’s Henry’s 5th wife, Catherine Howard, who was dragged out screaming after being accused of adultery.

The Madonna of Bachelor’s Grove

Bachelor’s Grove Cemetery, located in Illinois, is considered to be one of the most haunted places in the world. This picture depicts a lady resting on a bench, but there wasn’t anyone else in the cemetery at the time.

 

 

 

Back Seat Driver

This famous ghost photograph was taken in 1959 by Mable Chinnery. After visiting the grave of her mother, Mable turned and took a picture of her husband, who was waiting for her in the car.

 

Lord of the Chair

Lord Combermere was killed by a horse drawn carriage back in 1891. While waiting for the family to return from the funeral, the photographer snapped this photo of Combermere’s favorite chair.

The Ghost of Boothill Graveyard

Terry Clanton snapped a photo of his friend dressed as a cowboy in a famous Arizona graveyard. When he had the photos developed, he was shocked to see a man dressed as a cowboy in the background. “I know there was no other person in this photograph when I shot it,” Clanton insists.

 

Disney’s Haunted Mansion Ghost

A 2009 YouTube video — presumably of Disneyland surveillance footage — shows a grim grinning ghost cruising around Diseyland’s Haunted Mansion and Rivers of America areas after hours. The Park was totally empty, giving him plenty of space to roam around the sidewalks and grass. He even walks on water near the end of the tape.

 

The Ghost of Grandpas Past

Denise Russell snapped a photo of her grandmother and claims she inadvertently captured her deceased grandfather in the background.

 

 

 

 

Amityville Horror Ghost

Not everyone realizes that the movie was inspired by real events that happened to a family on Long Island. This picture was discovered among evidence taken by actual demonologists [Ed & Elizabeth Warren – L.L.] who investigated the house in 1976. No children were present in the house at the time.

 

I can see why the adult witch costume is so heavily favored these last 11 years given the trend toward smaller costumes can’t you?  Also tells me why Hillary is always in such a foul mood… she must look like hell in her costume!

All Hallow’s Eve, which later became known as Halloween, is celebrated on the night before All Saints’ Day, November 1. Use this simple prayer service in conjunction with Halloween festivities to mark the Christian roots of this festival.

Halloween or Hallowe’en (/ˌhæləˈwiːn, -oʊˈiːn, ˌhɑːl-/; a contraction of “All Hallows’ Evening”), also known as Allhalloween, All Hallows’ Eve, or All Saints’ Eve, is a yearly celebration observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows’ Day. It initiates the triduum of Allhallowtide, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed believers. Within Allhallowtide, the traditional focus of All Hallows’ Eve revolves around the theme of using “humor and ridicule to confront the power of death.”

According to many scholars, All Hallows’ Eve is a Christianized feast initially influenced by Celtic harvest festivals, with possible pagan roots, particularly the Gaelic Samhain. Other scholars maintain that it originated independently of Samhain and has solely Christian roots.

Typical festive Halloween activities include trick-or-treating (or the related “guising”), attending costume parties, decorating, carving pumpkins into jack-o’-lanterns, lighting bonfires, apple bobbing, visiting haunted attractions, playing pranks, telling scary stories and watching horror films. In many parts of the world, the Christian religious observances of All Hallows’ Eve, including attending church services and lighting candles on the graves of the dead, remain popular, although in other locations, these solemn customs are less pronounced in favor of a more commercialized and secularized celebration. Because many Western Christian denominations encourage, although most no longer require, abstinence from meat on All Hallows’ Eve, the tradition of eating certain vegetarian foods for this vigil day developed, including the consumption of apples, colcannon, cider, potato pancakes, and soul cakes.

Well THAT certainly goes a long way to explaining Ginny, Diaman, Mrs. Dragon and Molly’s love of Halloween then!

The Top 5 Rejected Morals for Aesop’s Fables

5. Never trust a farmer who shows you his ass.

4. A fool and his money are usually running for president.

3. A man is known by the company he bankrupts.

2.. Bros before hoes.

And the Number One Rejected Moral for an Aesop’s Fable…

1. He who bets on Patriots will soon have his hopes deflated.

We hang the petty thieves AND appoint the great ones to public office ~Aesop~

Ut-oh! Hillary is trying to intimidate her way into the White House residence again!

Me too Maxine, me too!

Better Than Sex Cake

Diabetically and/or dietetically friendly this cake isn’t. It has 531 cal. & 46g of Sugar per serving which is 1/12th the cake or a 3” x 3” square. It also just might (for some) live up to it’s name.

Ingredients

• 10 1/4 ounces German chocolate cake mix
• 1 1/4 cups water
• 1/3 cup oil
• 3 eggs
• 1 (14 ounce) cans sweetened condensed milk
• 1 (16 ounce) jars caramel topping ( OR butterscotch topping)
• 8 ounces Cool Whip
• 1 (8 ounce) bags toffee pieces ( or bits)

Directions

1. Pre-heat oven to 350.
2. Make and bake cake as directed on package in a 9 x 13 pan.
3. Poke top of warm cake every 1/2″ with handle of wooden spoon.
4. Drizzle sweetened condensed milk evenly over cake and let stand until milk has absorbed into cake.
5. Drizzle with caramel or butterscotch topping.
6. Run knife around sides of pan to loosen cake.
7. Cover and refrigerate about 2 hours or until cake has chilled.
8. Spread cool whip over top of cake.
9. Sprinkle with toffee chips.
10. Store cake covered, in the refrigerator.

Día De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is a holiday celebrated in Mexico and by Mexican-Americans across the U.S.

According to Mexican folklore, the gates of heaven open at midnight on Nov. 1 and the spirits of all deceased children (angelitos) are allowed to reunite with their families for 24 hours. 

The next day, the spirits of the adults come down to enjoy what has been prepared for them.

 

The timeline is not strictly adhered to, however, and many begin celebrating on Oct. 31.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sugar skulls are made and used for decorating altars. Often, the name of the deceased is painted on the forehead.

 

Some people combine Halloween and Día de los Muertos.

 

For practitioners, Día de los Muertos is a very happy and festive holiday that celebrates the lives of people they love who have gone on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Samhain 

In Modern Irish the name is Samhain [ˈsˠaunʲ], (pronounced /ˈsɑːwɪn/ SAH-win or /ˈsaʊ.ɪn/ SOW-in^[1] Irish pronunciation: [sˠaunʲ]) in Scottish Gaelic Samhainn/Samhuinn [ˈsaũ.iɲ], and in Manx Gaelic Sauin. These are also the names of November in each language, shortened from Mí na Samhna (Irish), Mì na Samhna (Scottish Gaelic) and Mee Houney (Manx). The night of 31 October (Halloween) is Oíche Shamhna (Irish), Oidhche Shamhna (Scottish Gaelic) and Oie Houney (Manx), all meaning “Samhain night”. 1 November, or the whole festival, may be called Lá Samhna (Irish), Là Samhna (Scottish Gaelic) and Laa Houney (Manx), all meaning “Samhain day”. It is a Gaelic festival marking the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter or the “darker half” of the year.

Traditionally, Samhain is celebrated from sunset on 31 October to sunset on 1 November, which is about halfway between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice. It is one of the four Gaelic seasonal festivals, along with Imbolc, Beltane and Lughnasadh. Historically, it was widely observed throughout Ireland, Scotland and the Isle of Man. Similar festivals are held at the same time of year in other Celtic lands; for example the Brythonic Calan Gaeaf (in Wales), Kalan Gwav (in Cornwall), and Kalan Goañv (in Brittany).

Samhain is believed to have pagan origins and there is evidence it has been an important date since ancient times. The Mound of the Hostages, a Neolithic passage tomb at the Hill of Tara, is aligned with the Samhain sunrise. It is mentioned in some of the earliest Irish literature and many important events in Irish mythology happen or begin on Samhain. It was the time when cattle were brought back down from the summer pastures and when livestock were slaughtered for the winter. As at Beltane, special bonfires were lit. These were deemed to have protective and cleansing powers and there were rituals involving them.^[3] Samhain (like Beltane) was seen as a liminal time, when the spirits or fairies (the Aos Sí) could more easily come into our world. Most scholars see the Aos Sí as remnants of the pagan gods and nature spirits. It was believed that the Aos Sí needed to be propitiated to ensure that the people and their livestock survived the winter. Offerings of food and drink were left for them. The souls of the dead were also thought to revisit their homes. Feasts were had, at which the souls of dead kin were beckoned to attend and a place set at the table for them. Mumming and guising were part of the festival, and involved people going door-to-door in costume (or in disguise), often reciting verses in exchange for food. The costumes may have been a way of imitating, or disguising oneself from, the Aos Sí. Divination rituals were also a big part of the festival and often involved nuts and apples. In the late 19th century, Sir John Rhys and Sir James Frazer suggested that it was the “Celtic New Year”, and this view has been repeated by some other scholars.

In the 9th century AD, the Early Church shifted the date of All Saints’ Day to 1 November, while 2 November later became All Souls’ Day. Over time, Samhain and All Saints’/All Souls’ merged to create the modern Halloween. Historians have used the name ‘Samhain’ to refer to Gaelic ‘Halloween’ customs up until the 19th century.

Since the latter 20th century, Celtic neopagans and Wiccans have observed Samhain, or something based on it, as a religious holiday. Neopagans in the Southern Hemisphere often celebrate Samhain at the other end of the year (about 1 May).

 

 

13 Halloween Superstitions & Traditions Explained

Halloween may seem like it’s all about costumes and candy, but the holiday — which is relatively new to America, having only become popular in the early 1900s — has its roots in pagan beliefs. Dating back about 2,000 years, Halloween marked the Celtic New Year and was originally called Samhain, which translates to “summer’s end” in Gaelic.

Some Halloween traditions, such as carving Jack-o’-lanterns, are based on Irish folklore and have been carried on throughout the centuries, while others, such as candy corn, are more modern Halloween additions. Read on to find out the meaning behind 13 spooky Halloween staples, including spiders, witches and trick-or-treating.

Black Cats

 

Often used as symbols of bad luck, black cats grace many Halloween decorations. The black cat’s bad reputation dates back to the Dark Ages, when witch hunts were commonplace. Elderly, solitary women were often accused of witchcraft, and their pet cats were said to be their “familiars,” or demonic animals that had been given to them by the devil.

Another medieval myth told that Satan turned himself into a cat when socializing with witches. But nowadays, black cats aren’t synonymous with bad luck and mischief everywhere — in Ireland, Scotland and England, it’s considered good luck for a black cat to cross your path.

Carving pumpkins

A fun fall activity, carving Jack-o’-lanterns actually has its roots in a sinister, tragic fable. Celtic folklore tells the tale of a drunken farmer named Jack who tricked the devil, but his trickery resulted in him being turned away from both the gates of heaven and hell after he died. Having no choice but to wander around the darkness of purgatory, Jack made a lantern from a turnip and a burning lump of coal that the devil had tossed him from hell.

Jack, the story goes, used the lantern to guide his lost soul; as such, the Celts believed that placing Jack-o’-lanterns outside would help guide lost spirits home when they wander the streets on Halloween. Originally made using a hollowed-out turnip with a small candle inside, Jack-o’-lanterns’ frightening carved faces also served to scare evil spirits away. When the Irish potato famine of 1846 forced Irish families to flee to North America, the tradition came with them. Since turnips were hard to come by in the states at the time, pumpkins were used as a substitute.

Bats

Medieval folklore also described bats as witches’ familiars, and seeing a bat on Halloween was considered to be quite an ominous sign. One myth was that if a bat was spotted flying around one’s house three times, it meant that someone in that house would soon die. Another myth was that if a bat flew into your house on Halloween, it was a sign that your house was haunted because ghosts had let the bat in.

Spiders

A common source of fear, spiders make for creepy, crawly Halloween staples. They join the ranks of bats and black cats in folklore as being evil companions of witches during medieval times. One superstition held that if a spider falls into a candle-lit lamp and is consumed by the flame, witches are nearby. And if you spot a spider on Halloween, goes another superstition, it means that the spirit of a deceased loved one is watching over you.

Witches

The stereotypical image of the haggard witch with a pointy black hat and warty nose stirring a magical potion in her cauldron actually stems from a pagan goddess known as “the crone,” who was honored during Samhain. The crone was also known as “the old one” and the “Earth mother,” who symbolized wisdom, change, and the turning of the seasons. Today, the kind, all-knowing old crone has morphed into the menacing, cackling witch.

Cauldrons

The pagan Celts believed that after death, all souls went into the crone’s cauldron, which symbolized the Earth mother’s womb. There, the souls awaited reincarnation, as the goddess’ stirring allowed for new souls to enter the cauldron and old souls to be reborn. That image of the cauldron of life has now been replaced by the steaming, bubbling, ominous brew.

 

Brooms

 

The witch’s broomstick is another superstition that has its roots in medieval myths. The elderly, introverted women that were accused of witchcraft were often poor and could not afford horses, so they navigated through the woods on foot with the help of walking sticks, which were sometimes substituted by brooms.

English folklore tells that during night-time ceremonies, witches rubbed a “flying” potion on their bodies, closed their eyes and felt as though they were flying. The hallucinogenic ointment, which caused numbness, rapid heartbeat and confusion, gave them the illusion that they were soaring through the sky.

Costumes

In olden times, it was believed that during Samhain, the veil between our world and the spirit world was thinnest, and that the ghosts of the deceased could mingle with the living. The superstition was that the visiting ghosts could disguise themselves in human form, such as a beggar, and knock on your door during Samhain asking for money or food. If you turned them away empty-handed, you risked receiving the wrath of the spirit and being cursed or haunted.

Another Celtic myth was that dressing up as a ghoul would fool the evil spirits into thinking that you were one of them so that they would not try to take your soul. In the U.S., trick-or-treating became a customary Halloween tradition around the late 1950s, after it was brought over by Irish immigrants in the early 1900s.

Colors Orange & Black

The traditional Halloween colors of orange and black actually stem from the pagan celebration of autumn and the harvest, with orange symbolizing the colors of the crops and turning leaves, while black marks the “death” of summer and the changing season. Over time, green, purple and yellow have also been introduced into the color scheme of Halloween decorations.

 

Mischief

Many have the idea that Halloween is a night of trickery and pranks. The ancient Celts celebrated Samhain with bonfires and jokes, but by the 20s and 30s, the celebrations got more rowdy. Acts of vandalism, possibly due to the tension of the Great Depression, became more and more common. Adults began to hand out candy to curb the trouble, reigniting the forgotten tradition of trick-or-treating. This successfully replaced most of the mischief, so now October 30th is the official night to wreak havoc.

Candy Apples

Candy apples are popular Halloween treats, and the sugary fruit on a stick was handed out during the early days of trick-or-treating in North America — before concerns over unwrapped candy became an issue. Today, candy apples can be covered in caramel or chocolate with nuts, as well as in the classic, shiny red syrup.

The fusion of Celtic and Roman traditions is behind Halloween’s candy-apple staple. Samhain was around the time of the Roman festival honoring Pamona, the goddess of fruit trees. The goddess is often symbolized by an apple, so the fruit became synonymous with Samhain celebrations of the harvest.

Bobbing for Apples

In ancient times, the apple was viewed as a sacred fruit that could be used to predict the future. Bobbing for apples is one of the traditional games used for fortune-telling on Halloween night. It was believed that the first person to pluck an apple from the water-filled bucket without using their hands would be the first to marry.

If the bobber lucked out and caught an apple on the first try, it meant that they would experience true love, while those who got an apple after many tries would be fickle in their romantic endeavors. Another myth was that if a girl put her bobbed apple under her pillow on Halloween night, she would dream about her future husband.

Scarecrows

 

Most people believe that the scarecrow was invented to keep birds away from the field’s crops, but some scholars believe that the idea originated in ancient times when a man was sacrificed to appease the gods and insure a great harvest. The man was believed to have been hung up over the fields. Yikes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

16 MYSTERIOUS Photos That Should Not Exist

The truth is stranger than fiction. Some things just can’t be explained. It’s like when you see it, you end up thinking that there must be a tear in the fabric of reality, something that shouldn’t even be possible in the first place.

The whole question of ‘what if?’ comes up whenever we see something that probably should not have existed at all, and it’s strange and unsettling, and exciting at the same time.

These photos of unexplained events and mysteries, while they do exist, knowing the circumstances of what’s in there, they shouldn’t be.

Prepare to be mind blown.

1. The Hinterkaifeck Murders

In 1922, what became one of the most mysterious murders that have remained a cold case until today, happened in the farmstead of Hinterkaifeck, which was in between the towns of Ingolstadt and Schrobenhausen in Bavaria. On March 31, the six occupants of the house were killed with a mattock. Since the incident, a hundred people were questioned, but, unfortunately, no one was arrested. It wasn’t because it was a brutal murder that it was, it was because how it happened was so strange.

2. The Skunk Ape

Sometimes, it’s so amazing how many more creatures remain undiscovered. In 2000, the Sarasota County Florida Sheriff’s Department received two photographs from an unknown woman of what seemed to be a skunk ape along with a letter saying that she found it in her backyard, and thought that it was an orangutan that escaped.

3. The Phoenix Lights

And the theme from the X-Files starts playing in our heads as we look at this photo. On March 13, 1997, people from Arizona, Nevada, and in Senora, Mexico suddenly witnessed a series of strange lights in the skies, coming from unidentified flying objects. It was said that it happened twice on different occasions, one being a set of lights that formed a triangle that passed over in the skies. However, the US Air Force clarified that the triangular formation of lights were flares that were fired by the aircraft that was doing a training exercise over at the Barry Goldwater Ranch in Arizona. The first formation of lights remains unknown. Get any chills yet?

4. The Madonna With St. Giovannino

Looks like questioning the existence of life outside of earth goes way back to the 15th century, when this painting was made. If you look closely, there is a detail above Mary’s right shoulder, that looks like an object that is shaped like a disc. And below the disc is a man looking up, and next to him would be his dog. This looks like something from an episode of Doctor Who.

 

 

5. The Battle Of LA

On February 26, 1942, a photo that was said to show some extra-terrestrial life forms visiting Earth was published in the LA Times, that those lights were search lights that were fixed upon an alien spacecraft. But, apparently the photo had already been edited by a photo retoucher before it was published. The question still stands, nevertheless, on whether or not it was real.

6. A Fifth Thumb

When you see it, you’ll want to look away. Four kids are posing for a photo, and there seemed to be another hand in a thumbs up behind the head of the kid wearing black. What makes it creepy is that the person who took the photo said that no one else was there when they took the picture. The person also said that there was a chance that the fifth thumb belonged to a kid who died months before and who was supposedly friends with the kids.

7. A Time Traveler

This photo was taken in 1941, during a reopening of the South Forks Bridge in Canada. Among all the faces in the crowd, there seems to be one person that seems to stick out like a sore thumb. A man in sunglasses and what seems to be wearing a cardigan over a shirt. While some say that the person was a hipster who knew how to travel through time, there are also some claims that the man in the photo was John Turner, who was really a time traveler. Or perhaps he was a companion of The Doctor?

8. The Newby Church Ghost

A figure that looks like a dementor is seen in this photo that was taken by Rev. KF Lord of Newby Church in North Yorkshire, England back in 1963. While some are skeptical that maybe it’s only edited and a result of double exposure, there’s always that chance that it might be real.

 

 

9. Martian Spirals

While we’ve all recently discovered that there is water on the red planet, back in 2004, we weren’t so sure. There were tiny formations that were shaped like blueberries in the planet’s soil. At the latter part of 2012, another photo was taken, showing the spirals in bigger numbers, which back then, showed the possibility of water being present. But we really can’t be sure, can we?

10. The Babushka Lady

During the assassination of JFK back in 1963, there was a woman standing in the crowd with a camera. She was then referred to as the Babushka Lady. She was standing by and was supposedly taking photos of the tragic incident. Even in the footages of the assassination, she was also seen, holding a camera. Unfortunately, she never spoke up and turned what she found in, nor were the FBI able to track her down.

11. The Hook Island Sea Monster

Sometimes, we get so preoccupied with what could be up in the sky that we tend to forget that there are also stranger creatures that may be living under the sea. The wife of a man named Le Serrec discovered a strange creature that was shaped like a tadpole under the water in the lagoon back on December 12, 1964. It was said to measure up to 30 feet long, and the more photos they took and the more chances they got to take a closer look, they decided to film it. The creature turned out to be bigger than they thought it would be, measuring up to 75 feet long. It was never seen again since that day.

 

 

 

12. The Black Knight

It seems like something that could be seen from a sci-fi movie. The Black Knight was a satellite that was also the first ever man-made satellite back in the 60’s that reported unidentified objects and the polar orbit. Neither the US nor the Soviet Union was able to do something like it at that time. The Black Knight satellite was reported to appear and disappear from time to time ever since. This strange object, however, remained unidentified and was said to only be a piece of scrap. However, during the 1930’s, astronomers reported unknown radio signals that may be probably coming from The Black Knight.

13. Another Time Traveler

And this time, the supposed time traveler has a cellphone. Charlie Chaplin’s film, “The Circus” premiered in 1928, however, like in a photo we mentioned previously, this may serve as another piece of evidence that time travel may be possible. The DVD extras of the film included some more short films and photos from the premiere. One photo, in particular, showed a woman who seemed to be talking on a mobile phone. Although some claimed that the woman was using an ear trumpet, it doesn’t make sense as the woman was also laughing and talking into it.

14. The Baltic Anomaly

Another one of the most famous unsolved mysteries in the world would be this giant anomaly at the bottom of the Baltic sea. Some divers found an unidentified 60-foot disc back in 2012. A lot of speculations came up, some saying it was a UFO spacecraft, broken down submarine used by the Nazis, or even a plug that led to the underworld.

15. A Pyramid On The Moon

Photographs can sometimes trick our eyes into seeing something else. However, there’s no denying that what can be found there is there. The Apollo 17 managed to capture some photographs on the moon on its last flight, and apart from issues with light exposure as well as noise, there are pyramid-like structures that could be seen.

16. Solway Firth Spaceman

Another creepy photo showing what shouldn’t be there despite being very visible. On May 23, 1964, a firefighter named Jim Templeton thought of taking photos of his five-year-old daughter during their day trip. Keep in mind that the only other people that around were old ladies sitting at the car at the far end. Back in 2002, Jim Templeton sent a letter to the Daily Mail, saying that he took three photos of his daughter Elizabeth posing the same way and was surprised when after he had the pictures developed, he saw the middle photo, showing what looked like a spaceman in the background. Jim actually never saw the figure until after he had them developed. To make it stranger, the people in Kodak said it was a genuine photo.

 

The Annual Halloween Costume Party is in full swing. The range, imagination, interpretation creativity as well as amount of effort that has gone into some of the costumes is nothing short of mind boggling. The average Cos Play convention has nothing on this party. A good time appears to being had by all. Even Impish has gotten over his grump about Lethal’s insistence on their costume for the party and admits he did wager choice of the costume on the football game.

Suddenly one of the windows bursts open and in flies a half dozen of the largest fairies you have ever seen. Their leader dressed in what appears to be armor fashioned from discarded water bottles must stand nearly a foot tall. The others are similarly attired and roughly 6 to 8 inches high. It’s hard to get a clear look because they are flitting around nervously. The big one is calling out “Fairiefather! Fairiefather!” while zipping back and forth among the revelers.

Lethal nudges Impish and says “A wee lift if you please, the page is for me and if those fairies hit the serving line we’ll be out of eats for hours.”

“What from those 6? And what’s this ‘Fairiefather’ thing about?”

“No those 6 are the command vanguard for about six thousand of their brethren, Dresden bought his Fairie Army with him incase we had more trouble. As for the ‘Fairiefather’ thing, ‘tis a long story but will suffice to say for the moment you should view it as something akin to Marlon Brando’s Godfather…in all its connotations.”

By now Lethal is astride the saddle on Impish’s back and has removed his helmet, conveniently hanging it off one of Impish’s horns by the face mask. He raises himself in the stirrups, his hand over his head and shouts out the strangest thing you’ve ever heard “Long life to the Za Lord!”

Instantly all the fairies spin around, locate Lethal, form up and zip towards him in formation breaking it at the last minute to begin orbiting Lethal and Impish. The largest one snaps to attention in midair saluting sharply before addressing Lethal. “Fairiefather! I have a report from“…sniff…sniff The fairy suddenly quivers all over and slow drifts closer to Impish and lower continuing to sniff all the while. Suddenly he flits in and back having wiped a finger through a stain on Impish’s costume.

The sniffs his finger suspiciously before popping it in his mouth only to begin quivering even more and moaning in apparent pleasure. “Mmm! Heirloom tomatoes, fire roasted, organic garlic, oregano and basil…that’s homemade pizza sauce! There’s pizza here? Fairiefather! You didn’t say there was pizza! Pizza is like the bestest thing ever!” He raises a small battered bugle to his lips preparing to blow it.

Lethal suddenly snaps out “Major General Toot-toot! You’re at attention!”

The fairie suddenly shakes himself and snaps too saluting again. “Yes sir! Sorry sir..I was distracted by…” Lethal cuts him off “Report!”

“Yes sir..ahh” He glances at the stain on Impish’s costume, shudders then squares his shoulder and stands a little straighter. “The Za Lord sir! He sent me to find you. He said to tell you his scrying-spying has paid off and that you’ll want to see this right away sir!”

“Very good Major General Toot-toot, you and your team lead the way.”

“But…but…Fairiefather!…THERE’S PIZZA!” Toot-toot whines plaintively wringing his hands.

“Huh? Oh! Quite right. You there darlin’ “ He points to one of Impish’s now disguised as catering waitresses virgins, “hand me up that Dragon size 4 cheese pizza there. No not a slice I mean the whole pizza, I’ve an army to feed. Thank You. You may proceed Toot-toot. Rest assured your pizza is safe with me and will be available the moment you complete your mission.”

Toot-toot hastily confers with two of the smaller fairies in his group who split off and zoom back out the window before the others form up around him and he shrilly cries out “Official business of the ZA Lord! Make way for the Fairefather! Make way for the pizza!”

Once on the elevator which will take them up to the tower chamber the Wizard mortals know as Harry Dresden is currently using to scry-spy on those who would see our heroes dead… or worse. Toot-toot decides his mission is nearly done and forms his men around the pizza to protect it, having seem Impish try to lick it several times already.

Once the elevator opens Lethal climbs down carefully, abet with a great deal of ‘assistance’ from the fairies. He places the tray with the pizza on a stool opens a window and then ducks down to practically duck walk himself clear of the arriving hoard of pizza crazed fairies.

He motions a fascinated at the devastation the fairies are wrecking on the pizza and at what speed to the point of immobility Impish to join him as he opens the only door. Inside at a pedestal holding an open book and a large crystal orb to which he is peering intently stands the Wizard Harry Dresden wearing a grey cloak over his black leather duster, a pentacle on a chain about his neck glowing slightly blue. Impish can easily see lines of fatigue in the wizards face. Clearly he’s been at it for quite sometime. He can also smell remnants of Lethal’s Brown Gold and Pastrami about the room, as well as Lethal’s Meatball, Sausage & Peppers. On a toasted loaf of garlic bread with provolone cheese melting over it, it might well be the only thing to surpass Lethal’s pastrami. Clearly the wizard is being well taken care of while he performs his duties.

Lethal addresses the wizard formally, surprising Impish, as he was under the impression the wizard had been hired by Lethal. “Warden Dresden, you summoned us?”

The wizard looks up from the crystal ball fatigue evident in every line in his face. “I finally found a way through her wards and got a brief peek before I was discovered and blocked again. I’ve been trying to get back in but I’ve had no luck. You’re not going to like what I saw.” He gestures for Impish and Lethal to step closer to the crystal ball which Lethal does but Impish elects to remain where he is and just crane his neck a bit closer.

Feeling slightly guilty Impish glances ruefully at the wizard, who nods at Impish which he takes as approval of his wariness, then places both his hands on the table and chants under his breath. The crystal fogs slightly and indistinct figures seem to be moving backwards. This is further evidenced by what appears to be voices speaking backwards. Suddenly the images freeze, the fog lifts showing a clear picture and everything starts playing normally:

  

Round about the cauldron go;
In the circular logic throw.
John Boehner, with career so cold.
Mitch McConnell like Yurtle of old
You undocumented Aliens Obama got,
Boil thou first i’ the socialist pot.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Personal emails do I burn to make my cauldron bubble.

Reputation of a Media fake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Newt of Gringrich his name profane,
Wool from the brain of John McCain,
With Jon Stewart’s humorous sting,
Bill’s third leg and Billy O’Reily’s right wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like Partisan Politics boil and bubble.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Personal emails do I burn to make my cauldron bubble.

Scale of dragon, Leprechaun’s gold,
Palin’s ambition, dead and cold
Terrorism gives us gun control,
Bengazi truth kept in covered bowl,
Liver of blaspheming Beck,
Gall and chutzpah, by the peck
Sliver’d in moon’s waning light,
Ted Kennedy, drunken nose at Chappaquiddick’s site
Stem Cells of aborted babes
Political promises vague as maybes,
Make the party platform thick and slick.
Add pledge to do more for those on WICK,
All these the ingredients of our cauldron.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Personal emails do I burn to make my cauldron bubble.

Cool it with a Dragon’s blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.
As fast as Bill when Monica sucked his dick,
My Party’s nomination should now come as quick.

As the replay concludes, there is silence for a moment as Lethal and the Wizard each evaluate what he’s just seen and Impish evaluates the chance there’s any pizza left outside the door. Lethal sighs heavily “This is even worse than we thought. I suspected minor hedge witchery, the playing hard ball with those whom she can’t frighten off and the spies. But this, this frankly takes things to a whole ‘nother level that we’re not prepared for entirely…”

Lethal is interrupted by a huge flash of flame and light from the crystal ball followed by maniacal cackling and the image of Hillary with a message:

The fire continues to roil and boil with in the crystal ball as the wizard chants and draws a chalk double circle around it completing a complex knot just before the crystal ball splits with a tremendous clap of thunder. Impish who managed to grab Lethal by the back of the jersey before ducking his head inside the dubious protection of his wings as Lethal dangled from his teeth is the first to respond. “WHAT in the ever loving HELL was THAT?!”

“Raw Mojo I’d be guessing. A serious butt load of raw mojo directed at our spying effort until it was destroyed.” Lethal examines the table where the chalk double circle is now burnt into the table top and still exudes tiny tendrils of smoke. “If I’m right it was supposed to incinerate us as well and would have too were it not for Warden Dresden’s fast actions. Is that not so wizard?” The weary wizard nods his agreement heavily.

Lethal continues in a softer reflective tone “Well there is naught more to be done here, until the place is properly cleaned, physically and magically and we get a new crystal ball. Seems to me Harry you’re about due for a drink, a bit of a sup and some undisturbed rack time.” The wizard too weary for words just nods while leaning heavily on his staff.

Lethal gestures at Impish to open the door and he goes to the exhausted wizard to guide him out of the room as he grumbles under his breath, “Mean time I’m going to go spank the arse off a certain Jersey girl for starting that whole ‘little green fart’ thing until the only place she can comfortably sit in in a tub of bobbing apples. Little green fart indeed!”

  Angry relative 

Good Morning Campers, 

I’m sorry I haven’t been forthcoming with more information about what we’ve been up to. Seems the whole place has been on a communication lock down because of some visiting dignitary. Some Draconian Ambassador is visiting our undisclosed location. 

At any rate, here we are visiting our vacation spot.  

 Oops. Our limo is here, so we have to go. 

  Be well all. 
Cheers. 

Impish Dragon