Today is Thursday, 8 Jan 26 and today, 4 years ago my Mary passed away. 6 years ago today, my daughter passed away. I know that you are not viewing this today, you are viewing it on Monday and by Monday, I should be human again. Today, not so much.

I’m not going to dwell, I’m going to put together this issue of Dragon Laffs and keep my mind occupied on other things. But just a warning … if this issue seems a little weird, that’s probably why.

So … onward …

 

 

Okay, that one’s easy…

 

 

That one’s harder…

 

 

Really easy…

 

 

and probably medium.

 

 

Amen and Amen!

 

 

I’d say it’s pretty close to ten O’clock.  

If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down. 

Rats!  I’ll be right back.  H.R. is at my door.

 

 

Yeah, except there’s a lot more than two of us.

 

 

And it’s been that way since like October!

 

 

Aussie Pete bragging again.

 

 

Oh hey! They already are!

 

20 Zillow Listings That Are Totally Off The Rails

This one is a lot of fun. If clicking on the title doesn’t work, try clicking HERE

Yup, I got it all.

 

 

Thanks to Chris for the YouTube of Pets and such that come on such a regular basis. I love watching them!!!

Yeah, me too…I’m actually older than that…

 

 

As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business.  

Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church, which she had always attended as a child.

In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work.

She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant.

She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage. 

She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and back flips. 

Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies.

They witnessed Lena’s acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other: “Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin’ out this night, and me without me bloomers on!” 

I KNEW IT!!!

LOL! No, I didn’t. But I got a guy at work who’s convinced it was all faked.

20 People Who Failed at Completing Their Only Job

 

 

ROFLM… oh crap, there’s H.R. again…

 

 

Miss you so much…

 

 

Another Pet Video!!!

That one’s easy!

 

 

Jersey bulls…

 

 

How many remember THAT reference?

 

 

This one is GREAT, if a little long. Definitely worth watching!

Hmmm, how many are gonna get that one…

Wonderfully said.

 

 

That stripper that fell off the pole already has $20K in her GoFundMe account.

I fell at work once and all I got was a drug test from H.R.

Hey!  Me too!

The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders like a cape and say, “Now you’re SUPER ANGRY!”

That or much, MUCH worse.

Yes I do! And not that long ago.

 

 

Recently, I’ve been trying to break up with my girlfriend, who happens to be an Optician.
It’s been really hard.
Every time I tell her I can’t see her anymore, she moves an inch closer and says, “How about now?”

Thank you my friends for being with me today. May our dear Father in Heaven bless you and keep you until we meet again.

Wars and rumors of wars, right? Maduro and wife get captured and the world goes nuts. Iran is shooting protestors.  Nobody seems to care but Trump. I watched his speech on Maduro. He made some good points, although I don’t like the fact that “we will be running the country until a legitimate government can be put into place.” That smacks of us taking over the country and just doing it for the oil, which he emphasized over and over and over again. I guess we’ll see.

By the time you read this, we’ve passed my “valley of the shadow of death” I haven’t experienced it yet as of this writing. Actually, we passed it with a previous issue, but as of this writing, it’s drawing closer and is preying on my mind. I speak of the passing of my dear Mary. Four years and it seems like yesterday. But I shant bore you with my travails. Let’s move on to the laughter.

I agree, I’m tired of the cold. And I’m tired of BEING cold.

 

 

This scares me for some reason that I can’t put my finger on.

 

 

When was the Employee Christmas Party for Self-Check at Walmart ’cause I think I missed it.

My son asked if a punch bowl is where you keep the names of people you want to punch.

I usually keep them in my head, but storing them in decorative crystal seems really classy.

My kid made the mistake of telling me I was being overdramatic so I just changed the Wi-Fi password.

We’ll see who’s overdramatic in about 5 minutes.

When is it going to be the straight, beer drinking, bacon eating, old white guy month?

Got a comment from Leah that I think I will copy here since I think some of you may be interested … Leah D says:

Did you celebrate your birthday? Anybody at work surprise you with a cake?

Did you leave your Christmas decorations up until New Years Day?

Did you have a white Christmas?

In other words, how’s life?

Okay, so one at a time…yes, I celebrated my birthday … kind of. Izzy gave me a gift and we watched TV. No cake, no big deal. No one called. I got a lot of wishes on Facebook and I got one card in the mail. My sister called me. No, no one at work made me a cake, I wasn’t at work, everyone at work was busy with their own families on Christmas eve.  I’m quite used to not making a big deal out of my birthday. Mary used to do a pretty good job of it, though.  I did go to the jail by myself on Christmas eve. My two partners were busy with their families, so I went by myself. That was nice. The guys appreciated it.

Yes, Izzy left the decorations up until January 5th and only took them down because I told her to. I think she’d leave them up year round. We did not really have a white Christmas although there was a bit of snow left on the ground left over.

How’s life? I’m trying to stay out of a deep funk right now. The day after tomorrow is the day. Well past the day when you guys are reading this, but for me….

So, let’s move on, shall we?

 

 

Another self portrait by Aussie Pete.

 

 

An alleged man walks into an LGBTQ center…

He walks right up to the front desk and he introduces himself, “Hello, I identify as a Chocolate Bar. Can I join?”

The trans receptionist replies, “Sir, that’s disgraceful! You’re mocking the entire LGBTQ community. We’re going to have to ask you to leave now.”

“You can’t call me, sir!” the irate man exclaims. “I use her/shey pronouns.”

Yup! Finest kind.

 

 

And now Joe gives us a little family history …

I come from a musical background. 

My grandfather was a professional organ player. 

Up until the monkey died. 

Funny, I’ve always thought they looked like a pig’s butt for some reason. I have no proof, mind you, it’s just what I’ve always thought of when someone’s done that. It’s always been one of the silliest things I’ve ever seen anyone do in my entire life. Why would you purposefully pose for a picture like that. Second only maybe to those silly nose rings that animals wear that asinine women seem to find so fascinating.  And duck face? It looks NOTHING like a duck.

 

 

The “I’m This Old” Meme Will Make Anyone Over 30 Feel ANCIENT

According to Google, this is true!

 

 

This is SO PERFECT!

 

 

No kidding.

 

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome and you sing well too. 

-Yiddish Proverb

A guest lecturer to the Medical college stopped by the bulletin board. Listed for the day was the topic, “Surprises in Obstetrics”.

Scrawled under it in pencil were the words, “Mary had a little lamb”

And that’s it my friends. Be well, be happy and be blessed. Until next time.

Watching the news where the FBI is talking about where they stopped an attack on New Years Eve by an 18-year-old who was planning a terrorist attack in North Carolina. He wanted to target Jews, Christians, and members of the LGB…whatever. He thought he was talking to members of the Islamist community and was really talking to FBI agents.

At the same time, I’m watching all the craziness that’s going on with the childcare centers, Medicare centers, COVID relief, etc. that are accused of fraud.

And Trump is talking about building a freaking arch to go along with his ballroom.

Happy New Year.

Matthew 24 warns us that this is going to happen. In verse 8, “All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.” Other places in the verse it talks about wars and rumors of wars, nations rising against nation, famines and earthquakes in various places.  Jesus goes on to say that Christians will be hated by all nations for His name’s sake. There will be many false prophets leading people astray, lawlessness will be increased and the love of many will grow cold.

Gee, I can feel those birth pain contractions around us right now. 

And how about that, Mamdani revoked the antisemitism executive orders as his first act in office.  I’m so not surprised. I’ll never go to New York again if I can possibly help it.

So, enough of this opening rant, what do you say we move on to the laffs portion of Dragon Laffs, shall we?

 

That’s my Pepper Dragon!

 

 

Pretty amazing, if true.

 

 

Q: How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher?

A: It’s clogged up with paper plates.

Joe, Joe, Joe … you are going to get me in so much trouble.

 

 

Mostly peaceful protests…

 

 

Not everyone will get that one.

 

 

Right?

 

 

Yeah, that would be me…

 

 

Always, always, ALWAYS keep that forefront in your mind!

 

 

A generously endowed young lady at college often got teased by her sorority sisters for being so top-heavy.

At a fraternity party, a young man asked her what she would like to drink.

“Diet soda, please,” she replied.

“Oh, you must be the double D.” he said.

The girl was furious, wondering which of her so-called friends had divulged such personal information. “And just what do you mean by that?” she snapped.

Surprised at her angry response, the young man meekly answered, “Oh, you know — the Designated Driver.”

Sigh!

 

 

The year is 2234….

D: Hey, Mike, what’s that you have?

M: Oh, hi Dave, that’s something very secret the boys in the lab are working on…

D: Come on, give me a look…

M: Well OK then. This will be THE big breakthrough in data presentation and storage. Here, let me show you. See this wafer-thin white display unit?

D: What? is that a full display?? That thin?

M: Yep. And see this pointer here? When I move it across the display, it leaves a trail, so I can write directly on the display, and the display will store the image.

D: That’s fantastic. Where is the drive unit?

M: This is it. It doesn’t need any other resources. No power, no batteries, no nothing.

D: What an incredible discovery…

M: Now look at this.

D: Oh, your closing the unit. Well, I can do that as well with my notebook.

M: Hey, yes, but look I can fold it many times. See? Now it fits in my wallet.

D: So you can always carry it with you…Brilliant!  Hey, let me hold it for a moment? Gee, it’s so light!!! I’m dreaming!!

M: No, you’re not dreaming. Look, now I open it up again. See the image is still there. Now watch…

D: Hey, you’re ripping the unit to pieces. What a waste!!

M: Yes, but look, I can hold them together, and the image is restored. This material is fantastic.

D: Incredible. Can’t do that with my flashcard. Ha, ha… What are you doing now? You’re jumping up and down in the display!… Oh, my God, it’s still working! Say Mike what is the safe storage time for the unit?

M: Oh, they say it will be a few centuries at least, perhaps even longer than a thousand years without too much degradation.

D: Gee, must be some stable magnetic fields they use.

M: Yes. The boys at Microsoft-Intel claim it will do away with monitors, computers, notebooks… They’ll release it early next year, when they have finished the colour version. This is only a Black and White gamma
release.

D: What is it going to be called?

M: Paper35

Saw it coming, but it’s perfect, Joe!

 

 

Sad, but true!

 

 

Hope it comes with a raise!

 

 

And it’s not just in Minnesota!

 

Joe’s bragging now…

Not to brag, but I just went into another room and actually remembered why I went in there.

It was the

bathroom, but still….

Absolutely!

 

 

One of our major discussion points in the jail all the time!

 

 

And there you have the current democratic party in a nutshell! The PERFECT example. 

And finally, Joe gives us wishes for the next year and the next decade…

 

The year in whoppers: Joe Biden’s STILL gaslighting on inflation, Zohran Mamdani’s flipping the Gaza script and more

If you believe in creation as espoused in the Bible, Adam and Eve’s children would actually have had to have sex with one another for the Earth to have become populated.

This is proof positive that Alabama was, at one time, the Garden of Eden.

Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. 

He never learned to read, so when he married and opened a current account, he signed his cheques simply “XX”.

Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.

He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. “Mr. Schwartz,” said the banker, “I need to ask you about this cheque. 

We weren’t sure you had really signed it. All these years you’ve been signing your cheques ‘XX’, but we just got one that was signed with three XXX’s…”

Mr. Schwartz answered, “No problem, my friend. It’s just that since I’ve become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name.”

I’m Straight-Up Laughing My You-Know-What Off At These 33 Pictures That I’m Convinced Are IMPOSSIBLE To Keep A Straight Face At

And that’s it my friends. Until next time my friends, may God Bless you all with Love and Happiness.

Holy cow! Two-thousand, five-hundred Dragon Laffs! What a way to start the new year! In June, it will be 20 years. 

Twenty years!

128 issues a year.

11 issues a month.

3 issues a week.

On the average, of course.

You know, when I started this gig, I would have never figured on hitting this mark. It just goes to show you how much good friends and family influence your efforts. In other words …

Love you guys.  Let’s get to this thing, shall we?

A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong. 

“Nothing,” said the woman.

Not buying it, he asked again. “Seriously, what’s wrong?” 

“Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, you don’t even tell me so much as “Thank you.” 

“Why should I?” he said. “Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father’s Day gift.” 

“Yes,” she said, “but I’m their real mother.”

 

 

REAL QUESTIONS ASKED IN SCIENCE CLASSES


Are the rivers flowing up the mountain or down the mountain?

Is that the ocean? (Asked while on a field trip to Marine Lab Beach on Guam (a small island in the Pacific).

How can the river be flowing north? That’s uphill!

How do I get water into this beaker?

 

 

Yup, AI generated…just having fun.

 

 

There was an athlete who wanted to accept a scholarship to a well-known college. To be awarded it, however, he had to pass a physical, since it was an athletic scholarship. 

When Tim found out about the scholarship, he called his friends all to come over to his house to help him celebrate. They got plastered, and several of the friends had “donated” marjuana. 

The next morning, realizing that he would be asked to provide a urine sample, he knew the marijuana would show up in it. He had a brainstorm!! 

Calling his girlfriend on the phone, he said, “Hey, Patti — I need a favour. Can you give me a small jar of urine? I’ll need it for the physical tomorrow, and we kinda let things go here.” 

Patti agreed, and within an hour, she came over, carrying a small mayo jar of yellow liquid. 

Tim thanked her, and he proceeded to take the “sample” to the college physical with him the next day. When the doctor asked him for a sample, he went into the restroom, and poured the urine Patti had given him into the vial. 

All was fine — he thought!!

Two days later, the athletic director at the college called Tim, and said, “I’m afraid we have to withdraw the scholarship offer.” 

“WHY?” asked Tim.

“We just cannot,” said the A.D., “have a pregnant man on our football team!” 

 

 

This was ALL IZZY.  She wears shorts year-round, is convinced there is something wrong with her and orders things online she doesn’t need. She actually sent me this meme.

 

 

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. 

After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?” 

“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” he explained. “It took us awhile to find a new pilot.”

A chicken walks into a library and up to the desk.

“Buk”, says the chicken.

So the librarian gives him a book. The chicken leaves with the book and returns five minutes later.

“Buk,” he says.

So, the librarian gives him another book. This goes on about eight more times, until finally the librarian leaves the library and goes outside on break in back where there’s a pond.

The chicken is standing on the edge of the pond tossing the books to a frog on a lily pad.

The chicken says, “Buk, Buk” and the frog says, “Reddit, Reddit”.

I’ll show myself out.

Me: Are Medusa’s pubes snakes, too? 

Accountant: I meant questions about your tax return.

 

 

More AI fun!

 

 

Interviewer: What’s your greatest strength? 

Me: Getting out of corn mazes. 

Interviewer: Uhm…okay. And your greatest weakness? 

Me: I keep finding myself unexpectedly in corn mazes. 

Interviewer: [Realizes he’s in a corn maze] What the hell? 

Me: Guess the is my time to shine.

 

 

On holiday in Spain I saw a sign saying English speaking doctor. I thought what a great idea! We should have them in our country!

Costco Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? 

Me: First of all, I wasn’t looking for any of this stuff.

 

 

I had this one night stand, and I felt so bad about it…

So, the next morning, I raced out and bought another one for the other side of my bed.

And that’s it for #2500.  Thanks for being here for all it my friends. May God Bless you and keep you for the next 2500!

Saturday in January. I can’t believe it’s 2026 already.

You know, I can remember being a kid in school, real young, and thinking to myself, you know, in the year 2000, I’ll be over 40 years old! Holy cow! I can’t IMAGINE being that old. I’ll be a real adult and everything. 

Then I blinked and I’m an old man. I have NO IDEA where the time went. I mean, I remember all the things that happened, but they happened SO FAST!

I guess it’s true what they say, time sure flies when you’re having fun.

So, what do you say we make some time fly …

 

It’s all a matter of perspective.

 

 

Those that I have experienced:
Exulansis
Jouska
Liberosis
Mauerbauertraurigkeit
Rubatosis
Bellichor
Odd, isn’t it. I do like the last one and agree that it needs a name. I get the same feeling in libraries.  All those wonderful, glorious books and no where NEAR enough time to read them all.

 

 

And THAT would be pure heaven!

 

 

I know that one!  It’s a Christmas Carol!

 

 

Let’s switch to the NIV for readability sakes, shall we? 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 
1 Now, brothers and sisters, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand.
2 By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.
3 For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,
4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures
Verses 3 and 4 tell the whole story. Christ died for our sins, he was buried and on the third day he rose from the dead. That explains it all right there. If you need more of an explanations, let me know and I’ll happily explain it deeper for you.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!

 

 

Also known as: Mess around and find out. You know, I’ve heard people say, “Would you really take someone’s LIFE over STUFF?” You know, a better question to ask is, “Why would you risk your LIFE over SOMEONE ELSE’S stuff?” Once you cross my threshold without my permission, I have no idea what your intentions are. But, since you did it without my permission AND since my threshold was locked, I can only make the assumption that your intentions are evil and I will ALWAYS face evil with lethal force.

 

 

AND….do you know who His Bride is? 

The Church

AND…do you know who The Church is?

Well, it sure isn’t some building somewhere. It is all believers and followers and disciples of Christ. If you have been saved, you are part of the Church.

 

 

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

 

 

I work with a bunch of guys like that.

 

 

If I had a peak that would take one…

 

 

Ahh, Seafood!

 

I’ve started a new “paid” website called Older Fans.

It’s where people come to see what new injury I have and guess how I got it.

If you ever helped push a car, ran beside it, jumped in at the last second, dropped it into gear, and popped the clutch … you lived through a legendary time.

Today’s kids will never understand.

 

 

You heard about this scam, right? This 23 year-old investigative reporter uncovered … well … exposed it all.  It was estimated that it’s happening in other states as well and could be as high as one trillion dollars with all the scams going on. 20% to 25% of our entire nations budget.  Oh and Tim Waltz … he says it’s just another example of us white folks trying to keep the dark folks down.

What an ass-hat.

Here’s a link to the video the young guy put out on X  HERE

And here is a very good article from AFN on the whole thing HERE

Time is Irish.  The perseverance, the melancholia, the last name O’Clock, etc.

 

 

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one hears it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.
Just in case…

I had a girlfriend in high school who kissed like that.

 

 

I believe in you.

I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Finland has just closed their borders.

No one will be crossing the finish line.

If a drummer comes out of retirement will there be repercussions?

And that’s it my friends, until next time…