Dragon Laffs #2079


It’s Monday morning and the circus that is the Queen’s funeral is coming to a conclusion.  She was truly loved by her people I suppose.  But boy-oh-boy what an incredible to do it’s been for the past week or so. 

As for us here in Dragon Laffs Land (DLL?) it’s been a good weekend.  Although you guys won’t be reading this until Thursday, you’ll be looking forward to next weekend by then and I’ll be thinking about working next weekend, right now I’m still relaxing from this weekend.  I took today, Monday, off since I will be working next Saturday.  But, I have a lot to look forward to this week.

Tuesday is going to be busy, I have a special meeting I’m going to early in the evening to learn about giving Grief counseling and then immediately afterward I am playing my normal Tuesday night darts. 

Wednesday will be my second ever Grief Group on base and I’m really looking forward to that.  Hopefully we’ll have a few new members.  And then Wednesday evening is Bible Study at church. 

And so far, nothing is scheduled for Thursday…well, except for the normal work and stuff.  I have that every day…just like the rest of you.  And our job is to help you get through your day a little bit easier with laughter and smiles.  So, let’s do that.  

I’d like to offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.

DURING THE DAY I DON’T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS.

At night I become a bit more open-minded.

The best years to be born in the history of Earth
      TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930’s, 40’s and 50’s !!

For those of you who have not seen this yet, something to think about and enjoy!

The best years to be born in the history of Earth & we got to experience it all. Thank God for all the times, the adventures, wars won, technology developed. Generations after future generations will never experience what we did. What a generation we turned out to be.

First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank – While they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, and, when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps, not helmets, on our heads.

As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.

And we weren’t overweight.  WHY?  Because we were always outside playing..that’s why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we
were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day and we were OKAY.

We would spend hours building our go-karts out of scraps and then ride
them down the hill, only to find out that we forgot about brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo and X-boxes. There were No
video games, No 150 channels on cable, No video movies or DVDs, No
surround-sound or CDs, No cell phones, No personal computers, No
Internet and No chat rooms.  WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and lost teeth, and there were no lawsuits from those accidents.

We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong
paddles, or just a bare hand, and no one would call child services to
report abuse. We ate worms, and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, 22 rifles for our 12th,
rode horses, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and although we were told it would happen – we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who
didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment.  Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of
… they actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, and inventors ever.

 The past 60 to 85 years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
how to deal with it all.

If you are one of those born between 1925 &1955, CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward this to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it ?

Come on Harvey, let’s go home.

I found my first grey pubic hair today.  Normally things like this don’t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.

That moment when you have something really important to say but you’re waiting for the person who is talking to stop talking, but when they do, you forget what you were going to say.

I just found out the neighborhood had a meeting about the crazy person on the block.  It’s weird that they didn’t invite me.

Building Dragon Laffs, Inc. of the future.

Some girls don’t like to walk in the rain because it puts their face back to factory settings…

There is a husband or a boyfriend who is going to end up in ICU very, very soon.

It’s been a strange day.  First I found a hat full of money.  Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar…

Yes, I’ve used this one before, but it is so clever and so funny that I had to use it again.

Apparently it doesn’t matter if you breastfeed, bottle-feed, or both. 

Either way, your kid still eventually turns into a teenager.

My husband and I both have the common cold.

He’s requested a priest and his family to be by his bedside.

I’ll get right on that as soon as I finish the laundry, wash the dishes and shovel the driveway.

Hey Tony!  Aren’t you upset that your parents named you after two parts of the human body?

Hey WalMart, don’t get pissed at me if I forget to scan something.

You literally gave me zero training before making me a cashier…

Kamala Harris’s speech writer is leaving after 4 months on the job.  Apparently she’s gotta get going to where she’s gotta go because it’s time to keep doing what she’s been doing and that time is everyday.

STUPIDITY BEGETS STUPIDITY

A license is what you get when the Government steals your rights away from you and then sells them back.

Some people will be able to afford Christmas…the same ones who think that everyone should be able to go out and pay $75,000 for an electric car.  Go ahead.  Just run right out and pick one up.  Get two of them, so the little wife can have one, too.
Morons.

And that “someone” overseas that they are paying pennies to is likely to be some poor 12 year-old child working 16 hours a day.

There’s that perfect picture of our new “America Last” policy.

And his dad did nothing to raise him correctly and now we expect him to do something about Russia threatening to use nuclear weapons in Europe?  Are you kidding me?  He’s useless.  He worse than useless.  If he was JUST useless, then we could at least hope he could be worked around, but he is actively working to get in the friggin’ way!  He is doing everything in his almost unlimited power to sabotage this once fine and upstanding country.  This country that used to be the pinnacle of freedom and liberty.  This country that is now the world’s laughing stock.  And it’s all the fault of the Democratic Party.  And if you are reading this and can’t see that, then you are part of the problem. 

Beauty isn’t about having

A Pretty Face.

It’s about having a pretty
mind, a pretty heart, and 
most importantly,

A Beautiful Soul.

I hate small talk.
I wanna talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, the lies you’ve told, your flaws, your favorite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurity and fears…. I like people with depth, who speak with emotion from a twisted mind.
I don’t want to know “what’s up”.

I really, really like that.  Falls into the category of…

There is only so much insanity you can blame on a full moon…

Eventually, you have to admit that some people are just Bat Shit Crazy!

Here’s our current list of heroes, as late in the game as it is, we are still getting additions to the list.  And there’s still time for YOU to buy ME a cup of coffee! (No, I’m really not going to explain that again.)  Think about throwing me a couple of bucks for the bills.  This is the only time of the year that I ask and it all goes toward keeping the website ad free.  As soon as I don’t get enough to cover the bills, I know that my time doing this is over and I’ll hang it up, until then…I’ll keep going.  You can donate by hitting the donate button on the website (dragonlaffs.com) towards the top of the right hand column.  
Or you can email me (impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com) and get my snail-mail address and send me something in the mail
Or you can send me something by Zelle through your bank to rem.wydock@sbcglobal.net.

And now for our heroes…

May your days be filled joy and happiness.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2079

  1. Michael Collett says:

    4 Channels?? I remember 3, aluminum foil on the rabbit ears, positioned just right and my brother and I grabbing pillows to watch a 2 Jiffy Pop, 2 hr. movie on Saturday night with the family. Yeah, I’m that ‘old fart’.
    Mike in Cinti

  2. jhjoseph says:

    Great to see my name on the “All Star Board” along with the others. Great week of funnies. Thanks.

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