Dragon Laffs #2060


GOOD MORNING LOYAL LAFFERS!!!!!

It’s Monday morning!  One week and counting until my return to full time work!  I gotta tell you, I think I’m actually looking forward to it.  I never thought I’d say that out loud, but I think it’s true.  As much as I’ve liked working from home, it’s also frustrating not being able to REALLY get things done.  Anyway, one more week and we’ll see.

Lots of crazy things going on lately.  You guys see the MMA trainer/fighter who stopped the homeless guy from his random attacks in New York?  Yup.  Saw it this guy walking down Broadway and him and another guy stepped in and held this guy down until the cops got there.  Nicely done! 

China is launching missiles over Taiwan because of Pelosi’s visit.  Okay, officially, they are conducting invasion exercises.  Basically, they are throwing a temper tantrum because they said no and we did it anyway.  That’s pretty damn childish.  But they have to appear badass because the leader (I can’t remember his name off the top of my head) is trying to stay in power. 

You know that the Texas and to a lesser degree Arizona folks have been busing illegal aliens to D.C. Well, Mayor Adams of New York made some sort of comment about them Texas sucking it up so Texas sent a bus to New York and Mayor Adams is now crying and asking for the National Guard for help.  It’s hilarious.  Mayor Adams says Gov Abbott is despicable for doing this.  You know?  TELL THE PRESIDENT…it’s his policy guys!

Pelosi’s husband gets caught for a DWI?  Gets off with a slap on the wrist?  Whatta ya wanna bet?  Yeah, I know…suckers bet.

A N Y W A Y … What do you say we get this train moving down the track?

Well, maybe not like that!  How about we just get into the laughter part?

Quote by a forest ranger at Yosemite National Park on why it is hard to design the perfect garbage bin to keep bears from breaking into it:
“There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.”

Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Dan Bongino on FOX News just made a really good point.  What was the point of Pelosi’s trip to Taiwan to begin with?  You know, once the Whitehouse leaked the trip, she pretty much HAD to go or we looked weaker than we already looked, even though Quivering Joe told her not to go, but what the hell was she doing over there to begin with?  Was she announcing some new plan to support Taiwan?  Setting up some new Defense Plan (which she wasn’t authorized to do, anyway)?  It’s all total bullshit. 

One of our wonderful campers, Paul K., sent me a great video.  It was a spoken essay and try as I might, I couldn’t embed it here, but it was so good, I decided to transcribe it instead, so, here it is, word for word as best as I could manage.  Thanks for this one, Paul!

I never dreamed that I would have to face the prospect of not living in the United States of America.  At least not the one I’ve known all my life.  I’ve never wished to live anywhere else.  This is my home and I was privileged to be born here.  Today I woke up and as I had my morning coffee I realized that everything is about to change.  No matter how I vote, no matter what, I see something evil has invaded our nation and our lives are never going to be the same.  I’ve been confused by the hostility of family and friends.  I look at people I’ve known all my life, so hate-filled that they agree with opinions they would never express as their own.  I think I may have well entered the Twilight Zone.

We have become a nation that has lost its collective mind.  You can’t justify this insanity. 
* If a guy pretends to be a woman, you’re required to pretend with him. 
* Somehow it’s unamerican for the census to count how many Americans are in America. 
* Russians influencing our elections are bad, but illegals voting in our elections are good. 
* It was cool for Joe Biden to blackmail the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it. 
* Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote. 
* People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.
* People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for their degree. 
* Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome but you better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated. 
* Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate to the U.S. must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate gangbangers who jump the southern fence are welcome. 
* Five billion dollars for border security is too expensive, but 1.5 trillion for free health care is not.  * If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free. 
* People who say there’s no such thing as gender are demanding a female president. 
* We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, but it seems like a great plan to us. 
* Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they are born and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now. 
* Criminals are caught and released to hurt more people, but stopping them is bad because it’s a violation of their rights. 
* And pointing out all this hypocrisy somehow makes us racist. 
* Nothing  makes sense anymore.  No values, no morals and no stability. 
* People are dying of a Chinese virus, but it’s racist to refer to it as Chinese, even though it began in China. 

We’re clearly living in an upside-down world where right is wrong and wrong is right; where moral is immoral and immoral is moral; where good is evil and evil is good; where killing murderers is wrong, but killing unborn babies is A-Okay.  Wake up America.  The great unsinkable ship, Titanic America has hit an iceberg, is taking on water, and is sinking fast. 

Speak up.

Okay, that took a LOT longer than I thought it would.  LOL!  Anyway, as you can see, well worth the effort.  The funny thing is, it was a young lady standing in front of the camera with a picture of Fauci behind her.  And she spoke the whole thing VERY quickly.  Thanks again, Paul.

MAN!  I love these old ads!

Not a goldfish, Kitty.

If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate do you walk to a charging station to get a bucket of electricity?

Another of my baby pictures.  My mom had a weird sense of timing.

Come on…admit it…haven’t we all been there?

It would be a lot like the Dragon Laffs Campers all meeting somewhere in the Real World.

FOR SALE:  MY WHITE PRIVILEGE CARD

Over 50 years old but in mint condition.  Never been used.
REASON FOR SELLING:  It hasn’t done anything for me!  No free college, no free food, no free housing, no free anything.  I’ve had to go to work every day of my life while paying a boatload of taxes to carry those who chose not to work!
If interested, I prefer cash, but willing to do an even trade for a Victim Card which seems much more widely accepted and comes with countless benefits without even having to show the card!
If interested contact me on my cell phone that I pay for every month.
Serious buyers only!

There is a certain segment of the population who have no idea what the rest of us are laughing at right now.

I think the me who buys groceries and the me that actually has to cook the meals are two entirely different people.

I was wondering why music was coming from my printer.  Apparently the paper was jamming.

Another historical photograph.  Two of our original security experts coming to an understanding over … let’s say … areas of responsibilities.

Someone should start a rumor about a shortage of jobs so everyone will panic and go get one.

Everyone needs a friend who they probably shouldn’t be allowed to sit next to at a serious function.

And the rest of us, who did get it, cried.

If your wife or girlfriend ever asks, “If I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?”

Never give two names.

This one is from our dear camper friend Lynn.  She sends us a YouTube video of :

Misheard Lyrics | Peter Kay: The Tour That Didn’t Tour Tour

Some really funny stuff.  Thanks, Lynn!

I just deleted all the German names off my mobile phone.

Now I’m Hans free.

I love this joke with all my heart.  And yes, I have used it before.  But, for those of you who may not have heard it before, or may just want to laugh at it again, here it is again…

A week ago, my Mother-in-Law began reading The Exorcist.  She said it was the most evil book she had ever read.  So evil, in fact, she couldn’t finish it, took it over to the beach, and threw the book into the ocean off a fishing pier. 

I went and bought another copy, ran the faucet over it, and left the wet book in the night table drawer by her bed.

I am, without a doubt, going to hell.

How do I feel about gun control? 

Break in and you’ll find out.

The pictures that are now going through my head……

THE PROBLEM WITH THE WORLD IS THAT THE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE FULL OF DOUBT, WHILE THE STUPID PEOPLE ARE FULL OF CONFIDENCE.   ~ Charles Bukowski

Aaaaannnnddddd we’re out of time today my friends.  Some things we didn’t get to, but there is always next time.  Until then…

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #2060

  1. azpop1 says:

    So much of what you say is true, scary the way our country seems to be going. Denis Az winter/ Scotland summer

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