Dragon Laffs #2023


It’s Saturday.  And while you guys are reading this, I’m teaching a class in the morning and then running an exercise in the afternoon.  It should be a fun weekend.

Friggin’ Pete sends us a special message:

Life is so unfair. I lost my car keys at the park and never found them. I lost my sunglasses at the beach and never found them. I lost my socks in the washing machine and never found them. I lost three pounds on a diet — I found them and ten more!

Saw a pack of gummy worms that read “No artificial flavor.”  Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible.

You have to REALLY be drunk…WAY TOO DRUNK!

On HGTV, people can flip a whole house in a month.  Meanwhile, I’ve been “getting ready to vacuum” for a week now.

Some relationships last a lifetime.

Husband to wife:  I hear you’ve been telling everyone that I’m an idiot.  

Wife:  Sorry, I didn’t know it was a secret.

My emotional support animal is a chicken.
A four piece.
With a biscuit.

Knowing my luck, I’ll be reincarnated as me again.

Did I tell you that I have mermaid in my family tree?  This is my cousin Linda.

Your 30s can teach you a lot.  Like I never knew you could sneeze so hard you can throw your neck and elbow out at the same time.

I’m not sure I learned that one until my 50s.

Raise your hand if you remember this cartoon…

As I was getting into bed, she said, “You’re drunk!” 

I said, “How do you know?”

She said, “You live next door.”

And because I got a wild hair and needed to create this for a guy I know at work, to rub it in because he thinks tankers and boomers are all that and a bag of chips, here’s mine…

I told him that without Weapons Troops, the Air Force would be just another unscheduled Air Lines.

Perfectly and completely understandable in all ways.

I don’t usually brag about going to expensive places, but I just left the gas station.

If you eat well…
And get lots of sleep…
And do exercise…
And drink lots of water…

…You’ll die anyway!

Open the damn wine…

You can expect me to either work well with others or pass a drug test…but not both.

If you don’t know the very sad story of Gilda Radner (and Gene Wilder) I HIGHLY encourage you to do a little research and find out. And with that I have to call  it a night.  I have to work this weekend and there may or may not be an issue on Monday.

Love and Happiness to you all.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2023

  1. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    About 30 years ago I won a call in radio contest with who’s on 1st. Abot and Costello….only ones in baseball of fame the never played baseball, owned a team or had anything to do with the equipment. Even then I knew all kinds of BS that doesn’t matter and wont get me anywhere.

  2. Leah D says:

    So, when do you expect delivery of the whack?

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