Good Morning Campers,
It’s Thanksgiving morning.
And Willow Dragon and I are the only ones awake.
Well, one of us is awake.
We put the turkey (breast) in the oven, got a couple of other things set up to go, the lair smells delicious, and I thought now would be a good time to start Saturday’s issue. That and to tell you all how thankful I am for each and every one of you. My heart fills with joy when I think of each of you and the wonderful feedback I get from you when I push one of these silly little Dragon Laffs episodes out to cyberspace.
Why not start out today’s issue with a couple of comments from recent episodes:
I have so many questions…
If your parents never had children, chances are…neither will you. ~ Dick Cavett
I actually sent this one to Mrs. Dragon and her best friend, labeled it with their names and everything. They laughed and laughed. But, they’ve been whispering and pointing behind my back. Like I said, it’s a wonder, every morning, when I wake up without being smothered in my sleep.
Them: Are you afraid of losing friends over your posts about controversial topics?
Me: No. I’m afraid of remaining silent and seeing friends and their loved ones suffer due to a lack of knowledge.
Okay, let’s go back to some more mail, shall we? This one is from our dear friend, fellow camper, and regular contributor Leah:
Well, it’s much later now. Aaaaannndddd I’m alone again. But, this time, Mrs. Dragon is laying down because she’s having another bad day. (Gee, why does Impish have so much stress in his life?) So, yeah, laying down. And Izzy Dragon is now at work. And Willow Dragon and Pepper Dragon are both sleeping off their turkey overstuffed feeling. So, it’s back to being just you and me, kid. I’d break out the Jameson myself, but I have to pick up Izzy Dragon later and with Mrs. Dragon being under the weather as much as she’s been, my alcohol intake has been strongly curtailed. So … laughter!
An older picture of Grandpa Mostest Seniorest Dragonest. He was a door-to-door salesman, seen here trying to sell sail boats to this lovely village.
I don’t see the difficulty.
Opinions are like orgasms…
Mine is more important and I really don’t care if you have one.
Some days I feel like I am surrounded by fucking idiots.
Other days I realize…
it’s not just some days.
Okay, “Highway To Hell” on 3…
I always wait for the cinnamon spice, myself.
Check on your friends who work in professions which require them to refrain from saying 90% of what they think. We are not okay.
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don’t want to see a band called “Parking Violation” at the “Courthouse.”
One spelling mistake can destroy your life. Think of this poor husband who sent this text message to his wife: I’m having a wonderful time, wish you were her.
I envy people that grow old gracefully. They age like a fine wine.
I’m aging like milk. Getting sour and chunky.
This one is from Friggin’ Pete and it’s called “Tom”
At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”
You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum,and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom.
“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”
All the men sighed with relief.
The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, “I’m Tom.”
The entire congregation held its breath.
“I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”
You guys have sent me SO MANY of these, that I could probably run two complete issues of political memes only and still not use them all up! I had to expand the space I use to store them to accommodate them all. But, I LOVE them! Some of them are REALLY, REALLY good. So, without further ado…
Such fucking bullshit! Begging other countries for something we can do ourselves!
Seems funny they can’t figure out how to unload hundreds of cargo ships ready and waiting in the harbor but, they know how to change global warming?
I’m wondering why, with all the pressure and force being used, there are no TV commercials advertising the vaccine.
I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that, by law, a drug commercial has to list the side-effects…
You either understand history or you trust the government.
You can’t do both.
When all the guns have been banned,
When all the words have been censored,
When all the history has been erased,
When all the freedom has been taken,
Only then will you discover why our right to bear arms was so high on the list to begin with.
“People who will get very upset if someone said all blacks look alike are really comfortable saying all blacks ought to think alike.” ~ Justice Clarence Thomas
“Men fight for Liberty and win it with hard knocks. Their children, brought up easy, let it slip away again, poor fools. And their grandchildren are once more slaves.” ~ D. H. Lawrence
Nor will I seek your approval.
Yes! And it was one of the most wonderful, memorable times of my life! We still do it now … to some extent. And it’s still just as exciting.
And that’s it for today’s adventure in Dragon Laffs! May your days be filled with Love and Happiness, Laughter and Sharing until we meet again.