Dragon Laffs #1961


Good Morning Campers,

Welcome to Thursday.  I’m time traveling right now because for me, it’s only Monday.  So, here I am, peeking into the future, and I foresee … a lot of laughter.  I’ve got a puppy asleep on the couch beside me and some 70’s rock playing on the stereo beside me, what could possibly be better than that?

Other than that, for now, I’ve got nothing to get started with this morning, so let’s get this party started with some laughter

Just a couple of pictures of hard working dragons and their friends.

Today I asked a kindergartner if Friday was his favorite day of the week and his response was, “I don’t know.  I don’t know a lot of things.   I’m confused all the time.” 

Same, little man.  Same.

Okay, this is just too damn funny not to share.  Thanks to Stephanie for sending this along. https://www.facebook.com/100003980143916/posts/2155179651291352/?sfnsn=mo

I can’t imagine that George was unhappy with the public posting of his…um…skills.

Walmart is giving out free turkeys to anyone who can outrun security.

And I hope all you left wing snowflakes are happy now.

‘That Boy Was Fake-Crying!’ Says Man

Who Bursts Into Tears Whenever Someone

Lightly Brushes His Elbow

Well, you can’t “buy” a dragon.  The best you can hope for is to win the “favor” of a dragon.  And if that fails, well, we call those people “lunch”.

I’m truly impressed.

Impish Dragon in a “Mood”  I’ll find the bastard who’s been taking our picture…

I’m fairly certain that the person who put the first r in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly?  I feel that way about far too many people.

Some people won’t admit their faults. 

I would, if I had any.

Oh, come on!  Think about it for a minute…

Do I really need to tell you? 

Okay, I’m going to give you the answer in…

3…

2…

1..

Okay, it’s…

What in Tar Nation. 

Get it? 

What in tarnation…  

Well, I thought it was funny.

I’ve got PMS, OCD, and ADD.  I want to cry and look pretty while I kill everyone, but I can’t focus on that right now, I’m cleaning.

And you ladies wonder why us guys say we don’t understand you.

Things I have in common with the Victoria’s Secret Models:  

1.  Being hungry

Taking time out to get a drink, while hunting for the damn photographer.

All I want for Christmas is to be off the extended car warranty call list.

Let’s take a look at some mail:

This first one is from Leah D: 

You are one lucky fella to get a surgery done so fast . . . . believe me, the docs here are booked out to Feb & Mar of 2022.
But then, Utah is one of the 5 states with the highest covid numbers, so maybe it’s not like that in other states.
Another benefit of getting it done before the end of the year, means you can claim the expenses on your taxes, get your money back faster.
Of course, to do that you need to have paid for it in 2021 . . . so, I think we need to start a pay it forward account, which I don’t know how to do, so is there anyone out there who can?
Or maybe, start a pay per laff tax?

Well Leah, the best reason to have it done before the end of the year is that I’ve already paid my deductible for the year on my insurance, but the co-pays are going to be killer.  I have no idea what a “pay it forward” account is and I won’t charge for Dragon Laffs.  So, it looks like the Dragon Family is getting a hip replacement for Christmas this year and like most Americans, will pay for it over the next several months.  LOL.  But, thanks for the thoughts. 

This one is from Bob M. who says: 

My doc said I would need hip surgery next year, I told them to forget it. I live alone, am 88 years old and have no intention of going to a convalescent home, that would be like jail to me and also my dog would not like it.   

Bob, I can’t say that I blame you.  I think if I wasn’t still working I probably would just put up with the pain and get along with using a cane.  But, it’s kind of embarrassing when, after teaching one class and half way through the second class of the day, which puts me on my feet on a concrete floor for about 6 hours and my hip collapses and I just about fall, but catch myself on one of the students desk and I have to make a joke about tripping over the seeing eye dog … well, it’s time to get something done.  But in your case, Bob.  As long as your safe, then by all means, you do you. 

And finally, this one is from Stephanie: 

Good morning. I’m on the hunt for whoever is taking pics.
Am I the only one who looks at crypto (bitcoin) and thinks of tulips? People went nuts and spent fortunes on them, until people realized they were flowers and reproduced. Now, crypto doesn’t even have the actuality that tulips had. Crypto is an electron. Electrons are everywhere. They are not rare. They do not exist in a form that can be handled or seen.
What am I missing? 

Hunting is good.  Whichever of us finds the bastard, lets the other know, and we’ll have a little fun with … oh, I guess I shouldn’t say anything here, then the whole “premeditated” thing can be brought up.  Anyway, I think the whole crypto-currency thing is nothing more than an attempt to bring us to one-world currency, one-world government, etc.  It’s all part of the same thing.  But, that’s just my opinion.  I also think it’s an invented geek thing, and only being a partial geek, I don’t really get it.  Maybe one of our more nerdy geek campers out there can fill us in or give us a more informed answer.

“If you choose not to find joy in the snow, you will have less joy in your life but still the same amount of snow.”

The speed in which a woman says, “nothing” when asked, “what’s wrong” is inversely proportional to the severity of the coming storm.

Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to notice the crazy in the eyes.

When I first moved into my house it was haunted by a poltergeist, so I just walked around naked for a week and it never came back.

My death will probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.

The secret Republican plot to make Liberals look like idiots, known as “Operation: Just Let Them Speak” is working!

Protect your children against Liberalism.

————————————————- 

Teach them that they are NOT entitled to the property and efforts of others.

San Francisco just banned E-Cigarettes. 

You can still shoot up heroin and shit in the streets though.

My boss asked me to take an anger management class this year.  I told him I’m angry enough with management as it is.

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 4:45, that’s November.

I just found out the neighborhood had a meeting about the crazy person on the block. 

It’s weird that they didn’t invite me.

It’s sad that some of us have fallen to such low ranks.

I just saw a person reading my Favorite Book…it’s as if a book was recommending a Person.

Man, how true is that?!  If I saw someone reading one of my favorite books, I would immediately think better of that person.  He could ultimately turn out to be a serial killer, but before I found that out, I would think he was a good person, just based on his choice of books.

 

Autocorrect changed “Morning Run” to “Morning Rum”

… Change of plans, guys.

What is the best way to watch a fish tournament? 

Live stream.

I’m not a morning person or a night person.  There are a few minutes in the afternoon where I’m decent and that’s about it.

Do not drink and wrap presents. 

Also, if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I’m gonna need that back.

If you identify a UFO as a UFO, then it becomes and FO.  Unless it has landed, then it’s simply an O.

And with that image stuck firmly in your head until next time.  May your days be filled with happiness and laughter, love and peace, and more laughter.

 

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1961

  1. Friggin Pete says:

    “”There are a few minutes in the afternoon where I’m decent…””

    Me too but, that just means my pants are on…

  2. Friggin Pete says:

    “”My death will probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.””

    Well, actually, I’m kinda surprised you’ve made it this long…

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