Dragon Laffs #1952


Good Morning Campers,

So, not sure how this is going to work out. I have to use the damn processing unit on the WordPress site. I’m still discovering a lot of stuff about it. I still don’t like it, but it may be because I’m not used to it. It may be because it’s a huge pain in the ass. But, there may be some pluses … like I may be able to videos back into my issues again. But, there may be some minuses … it may take me a lot longer to put an issue together until I get used to this. So issues may be shorter or there may be fewer issues per week. I’m not sure how all this will play out.

But we’ll see, I suppose.

And see, that’s a perfect example.  I found a better color, but now I can’t go back and change the first paragraph … but I can’t change the second paragraph’s font size.  It’s crazy.

It allows me to put pictures in and stuff, and in much different arrangements, but if the pictures are too small, I can’t resize them.

And I can now put videos back in … if it actually shows up when I post.  There should be a dancing baby above, so if there is, then that’s a plus.  But, it looks like it only works on YouTube, and some others that I’ve never heard of.  Guess I’ll have to experiment.

So, yeah.  It’s a real pain in the ass to set up each and every paragraph as I type it … but I guess that’s something I’ll get used to as well.  So, let’s get this issue going I suppose and see where it takes us, shall we?

And that’s exactly what I’m talking about … last night before I went to bed, I had gotten a bit further in this issue than I am right now, and when I saved it and came back to it this morning, part of it was missing!  So, me and this interface are going to have a real “come to Jesus” kinda talk!

But in the mean time … let’s get to some of that laughter, shall we?

The hacker was so disappointed in my bank account … he started me a Go Fund Me page.

I have to tell you guys, the comments and outpouring of love I’ve received from you all since my last episode has been amazing!  Jaw dropping, floor stomping, back pounding amazing!  And it seems that most of you like the political stuff and the ranting or at least are willing to put up with it.  Not that I was going to stop, just … um … tone it down a little. 

But, from Don Graves we get: I do enjoy this e-zine, and much like anything I read or watch if I don’t like what I see I move on. Your politics and mine do not often match, but I served to give you the right to rant if you want. Keep up the good work!  Don, thank you for your Service.  And yes, believe it or not folks, there is a lot of that in the service where two vets don’t have the same political views.  But we can sit down together and discuss it without it coming to arguments and fighting, because we understand that it’s okay for two full grown adults to have different opinions.  Cheers, brother.

And from our dearest friend Stephanie: I love you dragon, and really enjoy the humor. Yes, it has been a bit political, but what isn’t?
I miss the lair and the wild drunken revelry we used to have. I can make flower tiaras for the ladies and sharpen spear points. Might even be able to sew bells on pointy shoes.  Yeah, I miss those days as well.  We need to get back to those good old days.  I need to sit and write a good story again.  And speaking of stories … no one said anything about Lasagna Bob!  Hmmm, not your guys’ cup of tea I suppose.  Okay

And we’ll do a few more in a minute.

Okay, more comments.  Although, I suppose that if you really wanted to read them, you could go to the comments section and read them yourself, but then that wouldn’t allow me an opportunity to publicly respond to all of them, so … put up with it. 

This one is from Kris, who says: I’m fine with the political stuff. Maybe I’m just as angry as you so I appreciate the humor more than others. Please don’t stop totally.  Maybe that’s part of it, how close anger and humor really are.  We get so mad at what our “LEADERS” are doing to us instead of what they are supposed to be doing for us and we have no choice but to lash out.  We can’t lash out physically and with violence, either because we’re not that kind of people, we physically can’t do that, or some other limiting situation, so we do the next best thing.  We poke fun, sometimes hurtfully so, because that’s all we have left.  It’s also a bit sad and emasculating because it’s all we have left to us.

And then Cynical John (what a GREAT name) who writes:  I enjoy it all–rants, jokes, puns. Maybe I enjoy the rants is because I agree with you most all the time. Keep it up!  It’s nice to be agreed with, to hear the cheering in the background when I go on a rant.  To feel the crowd surge forward when I say, “he should be strung up by his toenails” like I could snap my fingers and the scoundrel would be hung by his offending digits.  Yes … that feeling is truly marvelous.

“Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?”

I will never, ever be able to NOT see this again!

Tom Harlander is next up with his comments:  I have a big collection of photos, memes, etc., from your postings that I in turn post on my Facebook page. I have been told by the Facebook censors recently that some of them are not true, my response has been to post another statement in response that the “checkers” are liars and frauds. So far they haven’t responded, so I guess that’s not deniable. I like the political stuff, but also the fun things. When they manage to combine, that’s great. Thanks Tom.  We all steal from each other.  If it wasn’t for you guys sending me stuff to post, I wouldn’t have an issue to publish at all.  And then Steve uses half the stuff he uses from stuff he gets from Dragon Laffs and I use about half of what he posts in his postings and …. it just goes round and round until all of us have gotten a good laugh from all of it.  That’s the key takeaway.  “Has everyone laughed at everything?  Okay, we can move on now.”

And then Al put in his east coast voice: yer stuff is good. youse is clearly of the ‘second greatest’ generation… and socialism and pcism are simply incomprehensible. take it easy, we’ll waitThanks Al.  Youse is good people, too.  And thanks for waiting.  Me?  I hate waiting for stuff, but I appreciate that there are times where waiting is good.  Hopefully, we’re getting this whole thing worked out.

Dave is up next and writes to say: I check a few times every day, to see if you have a new page up. When I see it, I usually stop whatever I was doing and go right to it. I need the break, for some real humor, not the stupid tik-tok shit. Keep your page the way it has been. If you lose a reader from time to time, don’t worry about. You have also gained readers who don’t subscribe, they just enjoy humor. Since politics are ruining everything, why not poke fun at them. Just think, the new 4 star admiral came from my state, Pennsylvania. I was in the Navy, but shit like this doesn’t make me proud.   Thanks Dave.  I’m not really worried about losing a reader as much as keeping in mind what my readers want to read.  And I think I’m getting that, thanks to you all.  I know I’m not going to please all of the people all of the time, but that also doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t at least check in…otherwise it could reach a point where the only person I’m writing for is … me.

Then it’s Tina’s turn and she writes: i have to say, i check my inbox every day hoping to see you’ve posted a new bunch of laughs.
i agree with most of what you write, and what part i don’t agree with, i skip over. hey, i’m sure you wouldn’t agree with everything i say either.
keep it the way it is, or change it up,,, i’ll still be checking in cause i need the laughs and i don’t mind the serious.
dragon laffs are one of the best parts of my day. please don’t stop.  Wow!  Thanks Tina.  That makes me want to post something every day.  And feel bad because I don’t.  But seriously.  Thanks.  It makes me feel really good.

Male bees die after mating. 

That’s basically their life. 

Honey.   Nut.   Cheerio.

“Protect the Kingdom!”

Okay, let’s finish these up, shall we.  Let’s go to Mike next: How could you not take a few shots at the politico’s, especially since they make such juicy targets of themselves, provide your ammunition and load your gun for you. It would harder no not give them their due.  This is quite true, Mike.  They do make it Sooooo damn easy.

Then we have Alan F.: Look forward to and enjoy every mailing. serious or humorous. Keep up the good work  Thanks Alan, appreciate the very kind words.

And Trish Gilbert says: I love your political rants because I feel the same way which is why Fakebook deleted my page and banned me. They don’t like the truth. You always make me laugh at just the right time. Please keep up the awesome job.  One of the main reasons I really don’t have a Facebook account.  I have one, but if it wasn’t for my dart league, I really wouldn’t.  They decided that’s the way we would keep track of things in the league, so I have an account for that, since I am the treasurer, statistician, secretary, gopher, and all around “other job” guy.

One of our favorite dear friends, Leah D. adds: I need your political rants as much as the laughs. I need to know I am not the only one mad as hell about what is going on. That puts me in the mood for comedy, like aspirin for a headache.  Yup, battling the bullshit with laughter.  That’s what we do.  And yeah, you aren’t the only one who is mad as hell about what’s going on.

And finally, just a few minutes ago, Greg added: I’ve always enjoyed your stuff got all of them in a LAFFS folder although I don’t really go back to them much. I have just always dragged them over “just in case! I get them on my work emails makes my day 🙂 I understand Greg, I have folders of folders of stuff I don’t want to get rid of just “because”.  They’re just electrons, right?  Thanks for being a fan. 

And thanks to ALL of you … you guys have REALLY made my day!!! 

Pete sent this to me, um, actually almost a week ago, but it is so apropos and fits so well with what we have been talking about that I have to put it in, right here.  Thanks Pete for all you do and for all you send me.

I came across this today, it’s something I wrote a few years ago but, it sure has relevance to today.

If we are going to become a Nation that is PC, first of all …good luck with that. Second is, we are not able to stop at banning the “N” word. I surely understand that people take offense to that word but, the fact is, people take offense to all kinds of words. So I believe in the interest of this so called “Political Correctness” and to insure the sensitivities of our Citizens, we need to ban a few more words and subjects.

Lets start with the subject of weight, that is a very sensitive thing to some people. If you or someone you know grew up overweight you know how hurtful and offensive words like: fatty, pig, tubby, pudgy, cow, thunderthighs, to name a few, can be. I move we ban all words and subject matter to do with being overweight.

For the Irish people and people who deal daily with the ravishing, devastating affects of alcoholism we should ban all references to alcohol and drunkenness, especially as it pertains to the stereotypes of people of Irish decent.

For the preservation of the feelings of our Polish friends, we need to ban all words related to “Pollock” and all manner of stereotyped jokes and subject matter on them!

Then there are blonds, short people, Indians, Mexicans, Jews, Catholics, The French, aged people. There are the Chinese, Hillbillies, geeks, the disabled, Foureyes, all manner of sex words. Yup, there are a whole world of offensive words and subjects that this Politically Correct shit encompasses!

As for humor, it is a tool for learning, just look at one of the greatest Comedians of all time, Richard Pryor. He used extreme racist humor and he used it to teach Blacks and Whites about each other as did Carroll O’Connor! And the world is a better place because of them and their humor! Humor is first of all to make us laugh but, it is secondly and, most importantly, to make us look into ourselves and make us think!! When subjects and words are banned we lose part of that opportunity and all we have left…is to laugh!

When we ban words and subjects, we stifle, retard, and pervert the growth of understanding and knowledge needed to get past the prejudices, stereotypes and misconceptions we have for each other. We shut down our thoughts, we shut down our feelings and we throw all the racism and hostility into the closet and keep it hidden in the dark! Then we let it grow and fester there in it’s ignorance and stupidity.

Pete

With my luck, I’ll probably die the day after I get my shit together.

I accept myself for who I am and what I believe, it is not my responsibility for you to accept me.  That is your problem!

Life is better when you’re laughing.

It helps if you imagine auto correct as a tiny little elf in your phone who’s trying so hard to be helpful but is in fact quite drunk.

I’d love to give a shit, but my Shit Dispenser is broken.  Would you like to try your luck on the Wheel of Sarcasm?

YOU KNOW WHAT’S FUNNY? 

A LOT OF THINGS! 

SO LIGHTEN THE HELL UP!

Dad:  GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!  

Child: *Storms off* JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED!  

Dad:  WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS!?

I hate double standards.  Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.”  Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

For the first time in history, you can simply post, “He’s an idiot,” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Wow!  Check out those prices!!!

Laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

I’m going to finish today’s issue out with a short collection of dragon memes sent to me by dear Stephanie.  I will say this didn’t go as bad as I thought it would.  I was put together with the WordPress interface.  I was a pain in the ass and took a long time, but I suppose it could have been worse. 

I discovered some short cuts along the way, so we’ll see if I can’t speed up as I go.  

Love and happiness to you all.  Until we meet again. 

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1952

  1. Dave says:

    Today’s post really made think . . . and laugh.
    We have about 50 vinyl records that my son likes more than today’s music. Anything from 60’s to classical. I’m 70 and he is 22. Mom is 47. We still have a landline, because it’s the only dependable connection.
    Also, I remember the McDonalds prices. They were beat in this area by Geno’s and Huntley’s Hamburgers. Burgers were 12¢ and fries were 8¢. Gas was 25¢ per gallon. I’m done. I’m starting to feel old.
    LET’S GO BRANDON !!!!

  2. Steve Hodges says:

    Please continue your political posts, there is so much material out there. With F— Joe Biden chants, we all know how bad the progressives have made it for us retiree’s. I think 3 or 4 memes an issue will do.

  3. TOMMY RAYE VASSAR SR says:

    great issue

  4. Pete says:

    It is not the gluten we are responding to, it is the glyphosate in Roundup and other Monsanto herbicides and the more than 750 other glyphosate products that are on the market made by Bayer, Dow, DuPont, BASF, and the world’s largest producers and exporters of glyphosate and its precursors (and surprise, surprise) CHINA! It is in everything we eat and thanks to GMO we are getting even more of it into our bodies.

  5. Pete says:

    Well, ya KNOW I like the political stuff you post! LOL

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