Good Morning Campers,
I’m sitting here working, watching the news, (yeah, I know, that’s a really bad combination) and it’s just pissing me off. New York City, talking about closing a skating rink for kids because it’s run by the Trump company. And that’s just stupid. So many stupid things going on. Most of the news organizations are bad mouthing Biden, which is surprising…at least so soon.
Some of the cool stuff is that we landed a helicopter on Mars! It’s a little bitty thing. It is solar powered and can fly for 90 seconds at a time and can map out for the ground car ahead. Sorry, I don’t remember the names of the devices, but they are way cool.
WE NEED TO LAUGH!!!
There’s a satisfying job.
And then she shares this memory …
We lived by the ocean in Christies Beach. One afternoon we came home to emergency vehicles parked in our driveway, and several more up and down the street. Helicopters circling overhead, all manner of high priority stuff going on. They were searching for a lost surfer. He didn’t know he was lost. He was sitting on the banks of the cliff watching all of the hullabaloo going on!
And she shares another one …
And this … of course … reminded me of one of my favorite jokes of all times:
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered: “Hello?”
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked: “Is your Daddy home?”
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?” the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered: “No.”
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked: “Is your Mummy there?”
“Yes,” came the answer.
“May I talk with her?”
Again the small voice whispered: “No”.
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. “Is there any one there besides you?” the boss asked the child.
“Yes” whispered the child, “A policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked: “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy,” whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?” asked the boss.
“Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the fireman,” came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked: “What is that noise?”
“A helicopter,” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered: “The search team just landed the helicopter.”
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked: “Why are they there?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: “They’re looking for me.”
Yup … one of my favorites.
Little Johnny asks Mom, what’s intoxicated?
Well, dear, see those two birds outside? If you are intoxicated, you would see four.
MOM!!! There is only ONE bird out there!
Dedications and statues everywhere.
I can’t believe that the highway department called my brother a thief. But, when I got home, all the signs were there.
A lot of you guys, if not all of you guys, know that I play darts. I missed a HUGE tournament on Saturday due to my quarantine and to make up for that, a couple of you have been sending me some darts cartoons, memes, signs, and such. So here, in one collection, is what I’ve gotten from Aussie Pete and a couple of other of you.
The Bozo criminal for today comes from Fairfax, Virginia where bozo Garrett Burris offered to help out a friend who was ticketed for speeding. Our bozo said he would represent him in court if he would contest the ticket. The bozo grabbed a handful of books on fighting speeding tickets, read up on them and showed up in court ready to play lawyer. He proceeded to question the issuing highway patrolman for half and hour before the prosecutor jumped in and asked the bozo if he was a lawyer. Nope, the bozo replied. At this point, the judge brought a halt to the proceedings, fining the traffic violator fifty bucks and charging the bozo with practicing law without a license, which carries a $2500 fine and up to a year in jail.
We went to this great Opera over the weekend a couple of weeks ago. This is one of the scenes. It was a rendition of Madame Butterfly.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
I wonder what it’s like to fart in zero gravity?
Does it propel you forward?
People need to know these things!
And at the conclusion of Madame Butterfly … the maid gets caught with the Madame in the hay loft … well … in this opera it happened …
This was sent to me by Sasquatch. It is quite an interesting article.
5 Questions To Ask Your Friends Who Plan To Get The Covid Vaccine
I’ll give you the five questions and you can click on the above link to get the answers
1. Did You Know That We Have Never Successfully Vaccinated Against Any Coronavirus?
2. Did You Know It Usually Takes 5-10 Years To Fully Develop A Vaccine?
3. Did You Know That The Covid “Vaccine” Is Based On New Technology, Which Has Never Been Approved For Use On Humans Before?
4. Did You Know That The Pharmaceutical Companies Can’t Be Sued If The Vaccine Hurts Or Kills Someone?
5. Did You Know 99.8% Of People Survive Covid19?
Ask your friends these questions, but check out the article first so you have the answers to give them.
Sadly, we can’t be that lucky that the dumb-asses take out each other.
And another good warning from our good buddy Sasquatch …
A new scam:
A LOT OF SHOPS NOW ASK IF YOU NEED A RECEIPT -otherwise you don’t get one!!
LEAVES IT WIDE OPEN DOESN’T IT? FAST FOOD places are notorious…
KEEP THE RECEIPT . . . This is worth reading if shopping with a credit card . . They do not automatically hand you a receipt anymore if the sale is under $30. YOU MUST ASK FOR IT!!!
CHECK YOUR RECEIPTS BEFORE LEAVING THE CHECK-OUT!!!
An associate bought a heap of stuff the other day while on holiday (over $450) & when he glanced at his receipt as the cashier was handing him the bags, he saw “cash out” of $20. He told her he didn’t request any cash and to delete it. She said he’d have to take the $20 because she couldn’t delete it. He told her to call a supervisor. Supervisor came and said he’d have to take it. He said “NO Bloody Way!” ……….. because taking the $20 would be a “cash advance” against his Credit Card and he wasn’t paying interest on a cash advance!!! If they couldn’t delete it then they would have to delete the whole order. So the supervisor had the cashier delete the whole order and re-scan everything!
The second time he looked at the electronic pad before he keyed in his pin number and again . . “cash-back of $20” popped up!!! At that point he told the cashier and she deleted it. The total then came out right. The cashier said that the Electronic Pad must be defective. Obviously… the cashier knew the electronic pad was “defective”; because she NEVER offered him any cash after either of the transactions.
Can you imagine how many people went through before him and by the end of her shift how much money she could pocket?
His wife went into a Kohl’s Warehouse last week. She had her items rung up by the cashier. The cashier hurried her along and didn’t give her a receipt. She asked the cashier for the receipt and the cashier seemed annoyed but gave it to her. She didn’t look at her receipt until later that night when back at their Hotel. The receipt showed that she had asked for $20 cash. SHE DID NOT ASK FOR ANY CASH, NOR WAS SHE GIVEN ANY! So she contacted Kohl’s who investigated but could not see that the cashier had pocketed the money.
They then spoke with a friend who works for one of the banks; they were told that this was a NEW SCAM that was bound to escalate.The cashier will key in that you “asked for cash back” and then hand it to one of her friends when they next come through the check-out line. This is NOT limited to Kohl’s; they are just one of the largest retailers to have the most incidents. I wonder how many “seniors” have been, or will be,”Stung” by this one??? To make matters worse … THIS SCAM CAN BE DONE ANYWHERE, AT ANY RETAIL OR WHOLESALE LOCATION!!! IT COULD HAPPEN ANYWHERE. SO, “CHECK YOUR RECIPT ” BEFORE LEAVING THE CHECK-OUT . . . . . . . .
CHECK YOUR RECEIPT!!!!!
PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS, KIDS, LOVED ONES – let’s not get ripped off!!!
And here is a really fun website to play with called Little Alchemy sent in to us from our own dear Stephanie: https://littlealchemy2.com/
I was tired yesterday, I’m tired again today…. I guess I’m re tired.
My lady came in while I was kicked back in my recliner. She asked me what the Hell I was doing. I told her “nothing nothing at all” She told me that’s what I did all weekend. I told her “I know, but I’m not finished yet.”
That sounds about right … women never let a guy finish one thing before they are asking them to do something else.
Does have the whole pumpkin spice flavor going on…
Sure, that’s the way communism works. All workers are the same.
If need be, I can attest that I was around you a week after you are off quarantine and say I have COVID. If our government doesn’t have to tell the truth…….
Of course I must get approval from Mrs. Dragon.
Sweet Stephanie, Mrs. Dragon says that’s fine, you know you are welcome anytime. What’re you gonna do with your two weeks off?
Sometimes I forget how to spell a word, so I change the whole sentence to avoid using it!
Mother nature: “I’m on my way home, did you remember to take Texas out of the freezer to thaw?”
The Sun: *drops Playstation controller* “ohshitohshitohshit”
Here’s an oldie but goodie from our dear Leah … to round out this issue.
A man received a text message from his neighbor… :
“Joe – I’m truly sorry about this, but I have a confession to make. I am texting you, because I would be uncomfortable looking you in the eye.
I am using your wife day and night, whenever you are not home to see. I am probably enjoying your wife more than you. Since I got laid off last month, it has become easier and easier. I feel I have been shameless.
I am confessing this because now I feel guilty about it and because I am afraid my children will find out I am cheating. I have always tried to teach them the value of character, and I have let everyone down.
Please accept my sincere apologies. I can’t undo what’s been done, but I promise to restrain myself in the future. Please don’t say anything to the kids.”
A few minutes later, while Joe was in a heated discussion with his miz, he received another message from Bob.
“Hey, Joe – that danged Verizon auto-correct messed up… I meant ‘wifi’ not ‘wife’!”
And that’s it my friends. Until next time.