Dragon Laffs #1685


Header1685

Good Morning Campers,

Surprise!

Guess who got sent home to telework?  Little ole me.  So, I’m not under house-arrest or quarantine or anything like that, but starting tomorrow, which for you guys will be today, the day you are reading this, I am teleworking or working from home.  So, I thought I’d give you a little surprise.  I started this issue on Sunday, since I thought I’d be really busy this week, I cranked it out and got most of it done, but then on Monday… today for me, yesterday for you, the base went to maximum telework and since I live very close, it was decided I could work from home and if I needed to go in, I could be there soon enough.  So, that means that while I’m working, I can also keep you guys updated.

Now, I want to make it perfectly clear that I will NOT be working on this on government time!  What it means is that while I’m waiting for a space on the network, since there are SO MANY of us who will be doing this I’m liable to have some down time, that I can spend with you guys AND since I will only be taking 8 hours a day, but I will be monitoring the situation closer to 12 to 14 hours a day and taking phone calls 24 hours a day, I feel it is okay if I spend a little time with you all.

So, I can give you a day by day of what is going on and a few jokes and laughs thrown in as well and you guys can reach me at impishdragon@gmail.com and let me know how you’re doing as well.

Sound like a plan?

Works for me.

So, for now, enjoy today’s issue and the one you get tomorrow will have my first day of working from home.

coollogo_com-7665595

821

Do you remember, before the internet, that it was thought that the cause of collective human stupidity was the lack of access to information?

Well … it wasn’t that.

822

They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store.

They lied, everybody else had clothes on.

823

For those of you who STILL don’t believe the media is manipulating you….401

Lying liars that lie.

402

824

Mail Call 1

Today is Sunday, the day after the last issue went out.  My first real day off in …. hell, I can’t even remember.  So, I started the next issue, because talking with you guys is the best thing that I have to do and it helps take my mind off other things.

And I thought I share a comment I got from Leah, since I don’t know whether many of you go and read the comments that are left for me.  It’s a peek inside what she is going through right now:

Leah D commented on Dragon Laffs #1684

Good Morning Campers, Okay, grab your morning drink of choice, mine, this morning, is coffee, liberally laced with Jameson …

I shop sales, and when I buy a sale item, I buy LOTS of it. So I had food and TP to survive. I have been making up care packages for my grandkids. I leave it on the front porch, because my husband and I are in that group: Old (in our 70’s) and have issues that compromise my lungs, so we want zero contact with anyone who is moving around, out there in the world.
We did go out one day to the pharmacy, and people were good about no contact. I got everything I needed, except for Vicks. I paid their higher price for things like computer paper, and even bought cat food there.
The shelves were empty in Salt Lake City in one day! We also went to the special 7 am to 8 am shopping for seniors at our grocery store. We got what we needed, and picked up some items grandkids had on their list. My grandkids have been so good to buy us stuff they find on their almost daily shopping trips. They have to go often to get everything they need, that I don’t have on my shelves, because all too often it is all gone before they get to that aisle. I put alcohol in a spray bottle, and spray everything that comes into this house.
Where I live, and most of my family, is in one of two hot spots for the virus. So after out two trips out, we went under total quarantine.
THEN WE HAD AN EARTHQUAKE! Wouldn’t you know, the epicenter is right where the corona hot spot is. I had slept in that morning, so was in my bed at 7:00 am when it hit. It threw me around so bad, when I could finally get up, my back was so bad I could hardly walk! The aftershocks are so nerve wracking! It’s a terrible time to be quarantined!
Thank goodness I have my computer, and the internet, and great friends like you to spend the hours with.

Thanks Leah, I too am in “that group” being an ancient blue dragon with arthritis and other crap, but damn, girl!  An earthquake on top of the virus!  That’s just wrong, in so many ways!  Keep letting your grandkids bring you stuff, keep spraying that stuff off when it comes in your door, cause we all know that the virus lives a long time on surfaces, and then go wash your hands!

And as for the rest of you, I WANT to hear your stories and I want to share your stories here, if you’ll let me.  Write to me at impishdragon@gmail.com and tell me how you’re dealing or just ask me questions.  Chances are that if you have a question, someone else does, too.  And I’m not saying that I’m an expert.  Not by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have some training that most people don’t, and I do promise that I will do my very best to get you an answer.

So…. let’s do some more laughing.

825

I want to do archery in Mexico, but I didn’t habanero.

826

Have we checked all food to see if exploding them makes them into something better or did we just stop with corn?

827

Noah only took two of everything when he went on the ark.  Try and remember that when you go shopping.

828

If your mother is over 60 years-old and wants to go out, forbid her!

If she complains saying everyone is going out, you tell her, “You’re not everyone!”

Payback time!

829

Go ahead.  Stupidity SHOULD hurt.

FIRST TIME IN HISTORY
We can save the human race by
laying in front of the T.V. and
doing nothing.
LET’S NOT SCREW THIS UP!

830

403

I wonder …

I’m beginning to think my best shot at fame is if someone names a syndrome after me.

831

Motivational

Book worm

Boom Headshot

Booty2

Born to be wild

Bottled_Water

Bowing

bowling

Boyfriend

boys

Brainstorm

Branches

Brass Knuckle Coffee Cup

I really need one of those.

Bravado

brave_girl

No shit!  She sure as hell is braver than I am!!!

832

God Food 1

Definition: One of the few foods you will be able to get in heaven because it is so good…like certain pizzas and lasagna.

1e

If you don’t know what this is, here’s a closer look:

1e1

If you still don’t recognize the delectable Taylor Porkroll and egg sandwich with cheese on a hardroll…then all I can tell you is…that it’s a Jersey thing!  And you’ll get to try it when you get to Heaven.

833

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

834

Okay… wait….what? NO!

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself.
Me: I’d rather not.  I kinda want this job.

835

I had my patience tested … I’m negative.

836

If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

837

I finally got eight hours of sleep.  It took me three days, but whatever.

838

I hate when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.

839

And that is your element of surprise for today.  Hopefully there will be more surprises in your week ahead as I’m locked away at home and have a little time to share with you guys as I telework while the network is down.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1685

  1. Brenda Camp says:

    Got a question I have a cute comic you might like how do i do that

  2. kris says:

    Thanks for making us laugh during these weird & trying times. May you & yours (and everyone else out there reading this) stay healthy!

  3. Maggie says:

    Love the unexpected suprise I’m a Jerseyite so no need to explain the PORK ROLL SAMMIE!!I I’m in the OLD catagory also, so only go out to doc as necessary and food store.
    Stay safe and well and I look forward to the next issue
    Maggie

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