Good Morning Campers,

Let me just say, that it has taken me over two hours of fighting with this stupid laptop to get to the point where I could finally type the words, “Good Morning Campers”.

I hate this laptop.

I shouldn’t say that.  I actually love this laptop, but I hate the fact that it is old…and not working well anymore.  But, it has to keep working because it will be a long time before I can afford another one and there are many, many higher priorities.

But dammit to hell! 

Now, I’m not bad at computers and keeping them running well.  Most of the guys at work come to me for help, but I think I just need some serious professional help here.  Maybe I should just take it to a place and see what they can do.  God knows I’ve run enough programs and such.

Anyway, enough bitching and griping.  Let’s get to the fun stuff before this thing craps out again, shall we?

If my body is ever found on a jogging trail, just know that I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.

Telling her to calm down is child’s play…If you want shit to get real, tell her she’s acting like her mother.

“Have you heard of Murphy’s Law?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.”

“Right. You’ve heard of Cole’s Law?”

“No, what is it?”

“Thinly sliced cabbage.”

I’m really sorry…those were really bad.

Okay, so I guess I spoke too soon.

I don’t always roll a joint … but when I do, it’s my ankle.

If hard times only make you stronger, then I should be able to whip superman’s ass by now.

I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach.

This is the funniest one I’ve seen in a long time…

F.Y.I. You pee on a jellyfish sting not a jelly stain.  Again, my apologies to the lady at the Waffle House this morning.

I danced like no one was watching, but someone was watching and he thought that I was having a seizure, and called an ambulance.

I know a lot of people like that.

Dear McDonalds,
Thank you for not serving hot dogs.  I don’t think I could order a super-sized McWeiner with a straight face.

Medical School…

When I was young I decided to go to medical school.

At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the letters “PNEIS” and form the name of an important body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered “spine” are doctors today, while the res of us are writing blogs.

Why does toilet paper need a commercial?  Who is not buying this?

 

Have you ever met someone so stupid you felt bad for their dog?

Being kissed while you’re asleep is one of the purest forms of love…unless you’re in prison.

Three women were returning to their Hungarian village when they spotted a man, obviously very inebriated, walking ahead of them.
As they watched him stumbling, he fell face down into a mud puddle.
When they walked up to him, one woman turned him over to see if she recognized him.
However, his face was so covered with mud that she bent over and unzipped his pants. She remarked, “Well, he’s not my husband.”
The second woman peering over her shoulder agreed, “Your right, he’s not your husband.”
The third woman, somewhat older than the other two, bent over to look and said, “He’s not from our village.”

And that’s going to do it for this week my fellow campers.

Love you all,

Cheers,

Impish Dragon