Good Morning Campers,

As you may have noticed, we’ve had some difficulty lately posting our blog to the website.  Sadly, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get this fixed, so today’s issue is a little light.  I know you’ll still laugh and at this point, that’s what we all need, so without further ado…

(Well, it’s 947 pm Saturday night and it finally went through!  Not sure what the future holds for Dragon Laffs, but I am glad that this issue finally got published.)

Yup, I’ve got that!  I’ve got a new doctor who must be a mom because she asked me, “On a scale of one to stepping on a pile of Legos in the dark with bare feet, tell me how much you hurt.”

This is a very cool video.  I know you’ll enjoy it.

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my buddy Lethal, “That’s us in 10 years.”
He said, “That’s a mirror, dipshit dragon.”

Lethal used to let me help in the interview process for new employees at DL&LL Enterprises, but not any more.

Dang, eat one or two applicant’s who you KNOW aren’t going to cut the grade and they take you right out of the process.

I tried that excuse on Thursday…it didn’t work.

Two friends who grew old together made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other how life after death was. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life, Dan was the first to die. Benny mourned him, and waited for him to come and visit. True to his word, two months later, as Benny was sleeping, the voice of Dan appeared in his head.
“Benny…Benny…”
“My gosh… Is that you, Dan?”
“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
“That’s wonderful!  What’s it like?”
“Well, I get up in the morning, I have intercourse. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have intercourse again, bathe in the warm sun and then have intercourse a couple more times… then I have lunch (keeping healthy, lots of greens).  Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have intercourse the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to the golf course again. Then it’s more intercourse until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again”.
“Wow, Dan!  Heaven sounds amazing!”
“What heaven?  I’m a rabbit somewhere in Arizona.”

Our security teams often have unusual watch towers.

Everyday I am forced to add another name to the list of people I’m going to eat when the zombie apocalypse comes.

Yup, the 60’s AND the 70’s.

NOTE TO SELF:
1. Buy a Sword
2. Name it kindness
3.  Kill people with kindness

You know it’s gonna be a bad day when your imaginary friend files a restraining order against you.

An amazing 2 letter English word.

A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition.

UP

This two-letter word  in English has more meanings than any other  two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’  It is listed in  the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n]  or [v].

It’s easy to  understand UP, meaning toward the sky  or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in  the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why  does a topic come UP?  Why do we speak  UP, and why are the  officers UP for election and why is  it UP to  the secretary to write UP a  report?  We call UP our friends, brighten  UP a room, polish  UP  the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.  We  lock UP the house and fix  UP the old  car.

At other times, this  little word has real special meaning.   People stir UP trouble, line  UP for tickets, work  UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one  thing but to be dressed UP  is special.

And this  UP is confusing:  A  drain must be opened UP because it is stopped  UP.
We open  UP a store in the morning  but we close it UP at night.  We seem  to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable  about the proper uses of  UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.   In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost  1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty  definitions.

If you are  UP to it,  you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is  used.  It will take UP a lot of your time, but  if you don’t give UP, you may wind  UP with a hundred or  more.

When it threatens to  rain, we say it is clouding UP.  When the sun  comes out, we say it is clearing UP.  When it rains,  the earth soaks it UP.  When it  does not rain for awhile, things dry  UP.  One could go on  and on, but I’ll wrap itUP, for now . . . my time  is UP!

Oh . . . one more  thing:  What is the first thing you do in  the morning and the last thing you do at  night?
U
P !
Did that one crack  you UP?
Don’t screw  UP.  Send this on to  everyone you look UP in your address book .  . . or not . . . it’s UP to you.
Now I’ll shut  UP!

The wife of a prominent gentleman was being tried for the murder of her third husband. A lawyer asked, ‘What happened to your first husband?’

‘He died of mushroom poisoning.’ said the wife.

‘How about your second husband?’ asked the lawyer.

‘He died of mushroom poisoning, too,’ said the woman.

‘Well, then,’ asked the lawyer, ‘what about your third husband?’

The wife, replied, ‘He died of a brain concussion.’

The lawyer asked, ‘Why did that happen?’

The wife paused, and then said, ‘He wouldn’t eat the   mushrooms.’

Wow…really?

Looks like there might be a position available…at least on a temporary basis.

Sadly, there are probably some of you out there who don’t get it.