Just finishing off the last of the Guinness from Sunday with me breakfast- OK! So you caught me! I’m having the last pint o’ Guinness FOR breakfast.
I’ve had a permanent head (arse?) ache ever since Impish woke up post Super Bowl and started moaning and I’m hoping this along with a strong dose of analgesics plus some noise canceling headphones will ease it somewhat before I start thinking about putting Impish out of my misery.
Yes the Patriots won the Super Bowel but I’m not proud bragging or gloating about it. Frankly in my estimation they didn’t deserve the win the Falcons did. From where I was sitting they came out of the locker room for the coin toss choking. What is it with Massachusetts teams and choking anyway?
Moving right along. we’ve a very full issue for you today with lots of laughs, some very important Recall Notices, the busting of a new Urban Myth meant to screw consumers and a pretty good message for all those spoiled liberals who are still invoking their inner three year old to throw tantrums over Trumps win after eight long agonizing years of suffering Obama. On top of all that is the story of what started this headache of mine.
So sit back sip & nosh what you got and enjoy!
Don’t mind Impish folks- he’s just still a bit under the weather from Super Bowl Sunday. See I knew he’d raise a continual ruckus over not being allowed to attend the True Believers in the New England Patriots Super Bowl Party hosted by none other than yours truly.
If not invited he’d have been banging incessantly on the door whining about how this was unfair or texting me every time another round of hot munchies made it way from the kitchen to the party under armed guard. He’d also threatened to fly to the top of the mountain and park his wide load of a backside directly in front of the satellite dish.
If I allowed him to attend the party, he’d never cease talking, not watch the game instead spending his time alternately between grazing the snack bar and growling at those who sought sustenance from “his” snacks.
Highly annoyed with him I offered him the weekend on a private island in Leprechonia. Sensing that I was getting extremely put out with him he declined out of fear that private island might turn out to be Crab Cay again.
Clearly I had to do something, otherwise I’d never even be able to host a 4 year old mud cake tea party again. Then I hit on a plan. Sunday Impish presented himself at the party door and hour before start time giving me his ultimatum. Allow him into the party or he was prepared to spend the day napping in front of the satellite dish tail swatting it into oblivion if I sent CyberLethals to evict him.
That when I sprung my plan on him. I told him that if he came to the party he’d have to share his 100# Rotisserie Steamship Round of Buffalo (medium rare) as well as his Peachcombers.
Now we all know how much Impish loves his Peachcombers as well as how little he like sharing anything that’s “his”. I then showed his a 50 gallon plastic drum which had been decorated as a giant pineapple, replete with an actually multicolored gold umbrella doing the part of a drink umbrella. Just to push it over the top protruding from the drum was several yards for the clear reinforced hose they use for beverage dispensers looped in crazy whorls and knots. I told him this was a dragon sized Crazy Straw. Impish was hooked, immediately crooning to the barrel calling his his precious all the while hauling it off carefully so as not to spill a drop.
What I might have forgotten to mention to him was that the barrel actually contained 45 gallons of Peachcombers and 5 gallons of !51 proof rum on top of the alcohol already in the Peachcombers! Half an hour later as the guest started arriving all that could be heard of Impish was a soft snoring interspersed with the occasional belch as he woke up long enough to take another dragon sized sip.
He was so dead to the world he completely failed to even notice I appropriated 15# of his Buffalo (from the un-dragon-gnawed side of the steamship round) for Buffalo Philly Cheese Steaks! The downside to this was the 48 hour Dagon sized hangover the entire staff suffered through and the fact today he seems (as you can tell from his comments above) perpetually stuck in low gear.
Damned Dragon moaning all night long! Who can get any sleep?
Everyone Freak Out! America Is Running Low On Bacon
Pig farmers can’t keep up with the overwhelming supply for frozen pork belly
Look, we’ll get through this. You’re willing to pony up a couple extra bucks to get your bacon fix, right? So long as you pay, the farmers will have your back. “While bacon may become more expensive for consumers, rest assured [the] pork industry will not run out of supply,” Deaton told USA Today.
And the bacon nation breathed a collective sigh of relief.
We don’t have to spend many words extolling the virtues of bacon, but here are some anyway: Bacon is crispy. Bacon is chewy. Sometimes it’s thick-cut, sometimes it’s thin, sometimes it’s smoky, but all the times it’s a party in your mouth. We wouldn’t go so crazy over bacon if it didn’t also pack some nutritional punch: One strip contains just 44 calories and nearly 3 grams of protein, per the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA), so you can—and should—use bacon to add loads of flavor to lots of foods. But sound the bacon alarm, because we may have a bit of a crisis on our hands. According to USA Today, the country’s bacon reserves have hit the lowest levels in 50 years.
Hard as they try, the nation’s pig farmers can’t keep up with the overwhelming demand for frozen pork belly. “Today’s pig farmers are setting historic records by producing more pigs than ever,” Rich Deaton, president of the Ohio Pork Council, told USA Today. “Yet our reserves are still depleting.” The national frozen pork belly inventory in December 2016 was 17.8 million pounds—the lowest level in half a century, per the USDA. That means prices are on the rise, and you know who you can blame? Our fellow bacon lovers from faraway lands. The Ohio Pork Council says increased foreign demand may account for the drop in inventory, as hog farmers export more than a quarter of all total productions.
OK you all in full blown panic mode right now? You (very few) savvy investor types calling your brokers or day trading yourselves into Pork Belly Futures?
Well STOP! Take a deep breath (and smell the bacon), this isn’t like the coffee shortage problem I reported last year which is real. This is simply a matter of Pig Farmers taking after their product and being “Pigs for Profits”.
Don’t panic, there’s not going to be a bacon shortage
Posted 5:59 pm, February 1, 2017, by Anica Padilla,
Updated at 06:18PM, February 1, 2017
WASHINGTON — A recent report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture sparked major anxiety among bacon aficionados.
According to the report, the amount of frozen pork bellies in storage fell to about 17.7 million pounds last month, the lowest December inventory since the USDA started keeping records in 1957. That’s down more than 35 million pounds from December 2015.
Adding grease to the fire, the Ohio Pork Council created a website called Baconshortage.com.
USA Today, Forbes, NBC and Men’s Health ran panic-inducing headlines, including:
“Nation’s bacon reserves hit 50-year low as prices rise“
“The Looming Disaster Of A US Bacon Shortage“
“Now It’s Getting Serious: 2017 Could See a Bacon Shortage“
“Everyone Freak Out! America Is Running Low On Bacon“
But there’s no need to panic. Representatives from the pork industry say they are confident they can keep up with demand and there won’t be any serious shortages.
“To imply that there’s going to be some shortage of bacon is wrong,” Steve Meyer, vice president of port analysis for EMI Analytics, told The New York Times. “There’s plenty of hogs coming. There’s going to be plenty of bacon.”
Rich Deaton, the president of the Ohio Pork Council, told the Times that Baconshortage.com was a marketing tool.
“We can’t control how the news is interpreted,” Deaton told The Times. “The demand is high and us pig farmers, not only in Ohio but throughout the U.S., have risen to the occasion and are going to meet that demand.”
So as far as this story goes (thanks to Paul K9 for semi freaking out and sending it to me):
Well ok technically in this case its more like pig shit, but of the 2, trust me, you’ll prefer the scent of bullshit hands down.
RECALL: Power Adapters for Tablets
Barnes & Noble recalls power adapters sold with NOOK Tablet 7 due to shock hazard
Posted on February 5, 2017.
Name of product: NOOK Tablet 7″
The power adapter casing can break when plugged into an electrical outlet, exposing its metal prongs, posing an electric shock hazard.
Barnes & Noble toll-free at 877-886-5025 from 8 a.m. to 11 p.m. ET, Monday through Friday, or 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. ET on Saturday and Sunday, or online at http://www.barnesandnoble.com and click on “Product Recalls” listed at the bottom of the page.
Units: About 147,000
This recall involves the black power adapter sold with the NOOK Tablet 7″. The adapter bears markings: model number TPA-95A050100UU, manufacture date 201610. The NOOK Tablet 7″ model number BNTV450 is located on the back of the NOOK.
Barnes & Noble has received four reports of the power adapter breaking or pulling apart exposing the metal prongs. No injuries have been reported.
Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled power adapters and register online for a free replacement adapter along with a Barnes & Noble $5 gift card. Once registered, consumers will be able to print a pre-paid UPS label to return the recalled adapters to Barnes & Noble. Consumers will receive replacement adapters in the mail. Until a replacement adapter is received, consumers are advised to charge their NOOK Tablet 7″ through their computer using a USB cable.
Barnes & Noble stores and online at http://www.barnesandnoble.com from November 2016 to January 2017 for about $50.
Importer(s): Barnes & Noble, Inc., of New York
Manufactured In: China
Walt Disney Parks and Resorts Recalls Mickey Mouse Nightlights Due to Fire Hazard
Recall date: February 2, 2017
Recall number: 17-081
Name of product: Happy Holidays! Mickey Mouse Nightlights
Hazard: Liquid from the nightlight can leak onto the electrical outlet, posing a fire hazard.
Walt Disney Parks and Resorts US, Inc. toll-free at 844-722-1444 from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. ET Monday through Friday, or online at http://www.disneyparks.com and click on “Safety Recall” at the bottom of the page for more information.
Units: About 3,000
This recall involves the Happy Holidays! Mickey Mouse Nightlight with a Mickey Mouse face and red and white Santa hat filled with liquid and glitter. The date code FAC # 019808-16150 is printed on the bottom rear of the nightlight. The UPC code, 400009489637, is printed on a sticker on the bottom of the product packaging.
Walt Disney Parks and Resorts have received two reports of incidents, including one electrical fire. No injuries have been reported.
Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled nightlights and contact Walt Disney Parks and Resorts US, Inc. for instructions on returning them for a full refund.
Sold Exclusively At:
Walt Disney World Resort in Lake Buena Vista, Fla., Disneyland? Resort in Anaheim, Calif., Shop Disney Parks mobile app, and online at DisneyStore.com from July 2016 through November 2016 for about $15.
Disney Destinations, LLC, d/b/a Disney Theme Park Merchandise, of Lake Buena Vista, Fla.
Manufactured In: China
RECALL: Dog Food
Evanger’s Voluntarily Recalls Hunk of Beef Because Of Pentobarbital Exposure in one Batch of Food
February 3, 2017
Evangers Dog & Cat Food Co
Out of an abundance of caution, Evanger’s Dog & Cat Food of Wheeling, IL is voluntarily recalling specific lots of its Hunk of Beef product because of a potential contaminant Pentobarbital, which was detected in one lot of Hunk of Beef Au Jus. Pentobarbital can affect animals that ingest it, and possibly cause side effects such as drowsiness, dizziness, excitement, loss of balance, or nausea, or in extreme cases, possibly death.
The specifically-identified lot numbers (as detailed below) of cans of 12-oz. Hunk of Beef being voluntarily recalled were distributed to retail locations and sold online in the following States: Washington, California, Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Massachusetts, Maryland, South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida, and were manufactured the week of June 6 – June 13, 2016.
Although pentobarbital was detected in a single lot, Evangers is voluntarily recalling Hunk of Beef products that were manufactured the same week, with lot numbers that start with 1816E03HB, 1816E04HB, 1816E06HB, 1816E07HB, and 1816E13HB, and have an expiration date of June 2020. The second half of the barcode reads 20109, which can be found on the back of the product label.
The subject recall affects 5 lots of food that were produced from its supplier’s lot of beef, which is specifically used for the Hunk of Beef product and no other products. To date, it has been reported that five dogs became ill and 1 of the five dogs passed away after consuming the product with lot number 1816E06HB13. Evanger’s is proactively issuing a recall voluntarily so as not to risk potential exposure to pentobarbital in the product.
All Evanger’s suppliers of meat products are USDA approved. This beef supplier provides us with beef chunks from cows that are slaughtered in a USDA facility. We continue to investigate how this substance entered our raw material supply.
Because we source from suppliers of meat products that are USDA approved, and no other products have had any reported problems, we are not extending the recall to other supplier lots. This is the first recall for Evanger’s in its 82 years of manufacturing. Although it has been verified that little or no product remains on store shelves, if consumers still have cans with the aforementioned lot numbers, he or she should return it to the place of purchase for a full refund. Consumers with questions may contact the company at 1-847-537-0102 between 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM Central Time, Monday – Friday.
RECALL: Pimento Spread
Ruth’s Salad Charlotte NC is Recalling Ruth’s Original Pimento Spread 7 oz. Because of Possible Health Risk. May Contain Listeria Monocytogenes
February 2, 2017
Charlotte, NC Ruth’s Salads is undertaking a recall of Ruth’s Original Pimento Spread in 7oz plastic containers. The product has the potential to be contaminated with Listeria Monocytogenes.
Consumers who have purchased this 7 oz. Ruth’s Original Pimento Spread with the Lot #16, Sell By Date 4/30/2017 are urged to return the product to the place of purchase for a full refund.
The contamination was discovered during random testing by the NC Department of Agriculture. Consumers with questions may contact the company at 800-532-0409 between the hours of 7AM and 3 PM Monday-Friday. After hours, consumers may leave a message and your call will be returned as soon as possible.
Listeria monocytogenes is an organism that can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections in young children, frail or elderly people, and others with weakened immune systems. Although healthy individuals may suffer only short-term symptoms such as high fever, severe headache, stiffness, nausea, abdominal pain and diarrhea, listeria infections can cause miscarriages and stillbirths among pregnant women.
No illnesses have been reported to date in connection with this problem.
The recalled product was distributed in grocery stores in NC, SC, GA, and parts of Virginia and Tennessee.
Impish will be reminded of this in a few weeks. Keep an eye on the news they’ll be reporting a blue moon in Miami County Indiana when it happens.
Every now and then we come across a story, a feat, an event that just makes us stop in our tracks. This was one for me.
Cody Green was a 12-year boy in Indiana who was diagnosed with leukemia at 22 months of age. Cody loved the Marines, and his parents said he drew strength and courage from the Marine Corps. as he bravely fought the battle into remission three times. Although he was cancer-free at the time, the chemotherapy had lowered his immune system and he developed a fungus infection that attacked his brain.
Two weeks ago, as he struggled to fend off that infection in the hospital, the Marines wanted to show how much they respected his will to live, his strength, honor and courage. They presented Cody with Marine navigator wings and named him an honorary member of the United States Marine Corps.
For one Marine, that wasn’t enough … so that night, before Cody Green passed away, he took it upon himself to stand guard at Cody’s hospital door all night long, 8 hours straight.
Nowhere on the face of this planet is there a country as blessed as we to have men and women such as this.
With 6 more weeks of winter on tap I just had to run this one!
Unless you’re Lady Gaga, a Kardashian, Jenner or Kanye West then PLEASE fall off the face of the planet and never return!
That’s why we have separate bathrooms in Keebler Towers!
The Angry Man
For all the interest group pandering that shapes modern American politics, the group that may well have decided the election has come down to the demographic of “The Angry Man.”
The Angry Man is difficult to stereotype. He comes from all economic backgrounds, from dirt-poor to filthy rich. He represents all geographic areas in America , from sophisticated urbanite to rural redneck, Deep South to Yankee North, Left Coast to Eastern Seaboard.
No matter where he’s from, Angry Men share many common traits; they aren’t asking for anything from anyone other than the promise to be able to make their own way on a level playing field. In many cases, they are independent businessmen and employ several people. They pay more than their share of taxes and they work hard. Damn hard, for what they have and intend to keep.
He’s used to picking up the tab, whether it’s the Christmas party for the employees at his company, three sets of braces, college educations or a beautiful wedding or two. Not because he was forced to, but because it’s the right thing to do.
The Angry Man believes the Constitution should be interpreted as it was written. It is not as a “living document” open to the whims and vagaries of appointed judges and political winds.
The Angry Man owns firearms, and he’s willing to pick up a gun and use it in defense of his home, his country and his family. He is willing to lay down his life to defend the freedom and safety of others, and the thought of killing someone if necessary to achieve those goals gives him only momentary pause.
The Angry Man is not, and never will be, a victim. Nobody like him drowned in Hurricane Katrina. He got his people together and got the hell out. Then, he went back in to rescue those who needed help or were too stupid to help themselves in the first place. He was selfless in this, just as often a civilian as a police officer, a National Guard soldier or a volunteer firefighter. Victimhood syndrome buzzwords; “disenfranchised,” “marginalized” and “voiceless” don’t resonate with The Angry Man. “Press ‘one’ for English” is a curse-word to him.
His last name, his race and his religion don’t matter. His ancestry might be Italian, English, African, Polish, German, Slavic, Irish, Russian, Hispanic or any of a hundred others. What does matter is that he considers himself in every way to be an American. He is proud of this country and thinks that if you aren’t, you are whole-heartedly encouraged to find one that suits you and move there.
The Angry Man is usually a man’s man. The kind of guy who likes to play poker, watch football, go hunting, play golf, maintain his own vehicles and build things. He coaches kid’s baseball, soccer and football and doesn’t ask for a penny. He’s the kind of guy who can put an addition on his house with a couple of friends, drill an oil well, design a factory or work the land. He can fill a train with 100,000 tons of coal and get it to the power plant so that you can keep the lights on while never knowing everything it took to do that. The Angry Man is the backbone of this country.
He’s not racist, but is truly disappointed and annoyed, when people exhibit behavior that typifies the worst stereotypes of their ethnicity. He’s willing to give everybody a fair chance if they’re willing to work hard and play by the rules. He expects other people to do the same. Above all, he has integrity in everything he does.
The Angry Man votes, and he loathes the dysfunction now rampant in government. It’s the victim groups being pandered to and the “poor me” attitude that they represent. The inability of politicians to give a straight answer to an honest question. The tax dollars that are given to people who simply don’t want to do anything for themselves. The fact that, because of very real consequences, he must stay within a budget but for some obscure reason the government he finances doesn’t. Mostly, it’s the blatantly arrogant attitude displayed implying that we are too stupid to run our own lives and only people in government are smart enough to do that.
The Angry Man has reached his limit. When a social justice agitator goes on TV, leading some rally for Black Lives Matter, safe spaces or other such nonsense, he may bite his tongue but, he remembers. When a child gets charged with carrying a concealed weapon for mistakenly bringing a penknife to school, he takes note of who the local idiots are in education and law enforcement.
But when government officials are repeatedly caught red-handed breaking the law and getting off scot-free, The Angry Man balls-up his fists and readies himself for the coming fight. He knows that this fight, will be a live or die situation, so he prepares fully. Make no mistake, this is a fight in which he is not willing to lose and he will never give up.
Obama calls him a Clinger
Hillary Calls him Deplorable
Bill calls him Redneck
Black Lives Matter calls him a Racist
Feminists calls him Sexist
ISIS calls him an Infidel
Donald Trump calls him an American
Impish and I call him (and her) a DragonLaffs reader!
I was wracking my brain trying to find the words to express my thoughts and feelings about this Angry Man piece. Then I found the following in my Inbox and realized it dove tailed nicely with the above and expresses it far better than I could even if I spent all the time between now (Thursday Feb 2nd 2 PM) and midnight next Tuesday (posting time) try to find the words.
I did not check and see if this it was correctly attributed (which I’m fairly certain it isn’t) as shown because frankly, in this instance I don’t really care. The words sentiment and message are spot on regardless of whomever wrote it.
This is a great summary of what just happened with the US Election.
“US” by Paul Genova
(Mr. Paul Genova has been President and Chief Operating Officer of Wireless Telecom Group Inc. since June 30, 2016. Prior to that Mr. Genova served as the Chief Executive Officer of Wireless Telecom Group Inc. from November 16, 2009 to June 30, 2016)
I haven’t said too much about this election since the start….but this is how I feel….
I’m noticing that a lot of you aren’t graciously accepting the fact that your candidate lost. In fact you seem to be posting even more hateful things about those of us who voted for Trump.
Some of you are apparently “triggered” because you are posting how “sick” you feel about the results. How did this happen you ask? Well here is how it happened!
You created “us” when you attacked our freedom of speech.
You created “us” when you attacked our right to bear arms.
You created “us” when you attacked our Christian beliefs.
You created “us” when you constantly referred to us as racists.
You created “us” when you constantly called us xenophobic.
You created “us” when you told us to get on board or get out of the way.
You created “us” when you attacked our flag.
You created “us” when you took God out of our schools.
You created “us” when you confused women’s rights with feminism.
You created “us” when you began to emasculate men.
You created “us” when you decided to make our children soft.
You created “us” when you decided to vote for progressive ideals.
You created “us” when you attacked our way of life.
You created “us” when you decided to let our government get out of control.
You created “us” the silent majority.
You created “us” when you began murdering innocent law enforcement officers.
You created “us” when you lied and said we could keep our insurance plans and our doctors.
You created “us” when you allowed our jobs to continue to leave our country.
You created “us” when you took a knee, or stayed seated or didn’t remove your hat during our National Anthem.
You created “us” when you forced us to buy health care and then financially penalized us for not participating.
When we became fed up, we pushed back and spoke up.
And we did it with ballots, not bullets.
With ballots, not riots.
With ballots, not looting.
With ballots, not blocking traffic.
With ballots, not fires, except the one you started inside of “us”
“YOU” created “US”. It really is just that simple.
I think you’ll agree with me that this represents most of “US”. –AND IT WAS DEFINITELY TIME !!!!
Actually, 4 years past high time from where I sit.
The “Angry Man” and “us” was excellent.
It’s usually hard to beat the truth, especially when you speak (or post it) bluntly as is my practice.
the sad thing is that the Liberals will never understand or learn from either of those posts
or the end result of their actions. It’s even sadder still that this seems to be a repeating cycle in our elections dating back decades.
To the GREEN SIR !!! I absolutely agree with lady Ginny,, a great issue
I always try my best. Glad it shows.
Thanks for the kind words.
Take your bows oh WISE and GREEN one….you surely outdid yourself. Glad you cleared up the
myth of a Bacon shortage. Someone was selling bacon on the street corner yesterday! Have a
Impish and I take our consumption of meat in general by especially Pork products and Smoked Meats VERY seriously.
Blowing holes in the myth was practically a Man Card requirement!