Dragon Laffs #1524


Dragon Laffs 28

campers

Well, I went to the doctor on Thursday and we have determined that I need my hip replaced.  First my knee two years ago and now my hip!  I’ve got to find the warranty on this body and find out what the hell is going on.

So, it’s been a long, long week with too many damn doctor appointments and not enough down time.  So, I don’t know about you, but I REALLY need this, so…

lets laugh

2463

Yes, we are going to start the issue out with one of these…
groan a

The problem – There’s a box with a hole at each end and there’s a rabbit in the box. The rabbit sticks his head out of the hole in one end, and a minute later he sticks it out the other end.
Half a minute later, his head appears at the opposite end, a fourth of a minute later it appears at the end opposite to that one, an eighth of a minute later… etc., etc.
How long will it take before the rabbit sticks its head out of both ends of the box at the same time?
In theory, two minutes. In practice, no answer is possible unless, of course, you split hares.

I know, I’m really sorry.  But, blame Karl, it’s his joke.

2464

This next one was sent in by Karl, also.  It definitely explains why I haven’t heard from him for a while.

Please hold my e-mails until further notice,I am in the hospital.
 
I was attacked by a woman in an elevator. A witness got her photo.
 
See below . .. . . .

10

I was in the elevator when she got in.
 
I was casually staring at her boobs when she said,
 
“Could you press one for me please.
 
So I did… and I don’t remember much afterwards, but I’m guessing it was the wrong one.

Be glad you didn’t press both at once!

2465

dragon pics

10

“HEY! HEY!  Close the damn door!  I’m eating in here!”

2466

I hate to do this again…and again, it’s all Karl’s fault…

groan a

After a heavy day’s digging at the archeological site in Norway, researchers uncovered a priceless statue of the ancient Norse thunder god. He had bulging muscles, an imposing stance, and his famous giant hammer. But most important of all, the eyes in his fierce-looking face were made of two giant rubies that glittered with a brilliant red color.
Of course, the two leading archeologists on the dig were both determined that they should be the one to have their name listed on the discovery.  Pretty soon, a big argument was underway. The two provided the others with a great source of amusement for the evening. By the time they finally gave up, calling a truce, everyone else was feeling quite refreshed by the entertainment.
As the crowd dispersed, one junior digger turned to his friend, and remarked, “Well, *THAT* was a fight for Thor’s eyes”.   I know.  I’m so sorry.     I know it’s late in the season, but I finally got my flu shot the other day.     11

 

You gotta have a sense of humor about everything…. well, not everything, but how about THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ISIS

That was SO tasteless….but I’ll bet you laughed at some part of it.

2467

fantasy

f2010081401

This is just one of many upgrades that we give to our security team members.

2468

Aww….that’s so sweet!

A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.
“He gets her name, address, social security number, etc.
And then asks, “What’s your occupation?”
“I’m a Lady of the night,” she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, ” let’s try to rephrase that.”
The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”. “No, that still won’t work. Try again.”
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite chicken farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year.”
“Chicken Farmer it is.”

2470

2469

2471

Critter

a96

 

a97

a98

a99

a335

a336

aa2

2472

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

2474

I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”

2475

motivate

Mexican Wolves

Mexicans

microstring bikini

Military Intelligence

Military Vision

milk

Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

2476

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

2478

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, “I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!”

“Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive.”

“I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?!?”

“Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are.”

“I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!”

“Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!” 

2495

Well, I’m out of time, so that’s it for this week folks.  Until we meet again.

Cheers

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Dragon Laffs #1524

  1. Ginny says:

    Just think if you were a horse…they would shoot you and you would be off to the glue factory.
    You’re right you should have gotten extended warranty on your parts. You made it through the knee surgery…that was the harder of the two. My mother-in-law at 80 had her hip replaced and she said it was a breeze…therapy isn’t as grueling. So damn Impish we all need you here at
    Dragon Laffs take care of that old body. I’ll check with Diaman and see if we can arrange to be there to nurse you along.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s