Dragon Laffs #1523


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Campers

So, it’s now President Trump.  How great is that?  I feel like I’ve been holding my breath and I just now let it go.  Like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest.

I really can’t think of anything else to say right now…I’m just giddy with excitement.  I can’t wait to see what he does first.

Okay, so now I sound like I’m gushing.  It’s time to

Let's Laugh

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How about some “Just not real important information”?

If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth.
 
If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.
 
To make half a kilo of honey, bees must collect nectar from over 2 million individual flowers
 
Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by ‘Bayer’.
 
Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!
 
People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport .
 
Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.
 
Astronauts can’t belch – there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.
 
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. In the Renaissance era, it was fashion to shave them off!
 
Because of the speed at which Earth moves around the Sun, it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and 58 seconds.
 
The night of January 20 is “Saint Agnes’s Eve”, which is regarded as a time when a young woman dreams of her future husband.
 
Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros .
 
It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
 
Gold is the only metal that doesn’t rust, even if it’s buried in the ground for thousands of years .
 
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end .
 
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
 
Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related diseases.
 
Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals
 
Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
 
The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.
 
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent
 
Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn’t smoke unless it’s heated above 450F
 
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
 
Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean
 
The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man
 
Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density
 
The University of Alaska spans four time zones
 
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
 
In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
 
Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
 
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
 
A comet’s tail always points away from the sun
 
The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent
 
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
 
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
 
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
 
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight
 
In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed 
 
Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside
 

Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams
 
The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year
 
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust
 
Due to earth’s gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters
 
Mickey Mouse is known as “Topolino” in Italy
 
Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down
 
Everything weighs one percent less at the equator
 
For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off
 
The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.

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That’s because back then, that’s all you had to play with.

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Dragon Pix

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Playing dragon tag.

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One  Liners
 1. I say no to alcohol, It just doesn’t listen.
 2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
 3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
5. When everything is coming in your way, You’re in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..
7. Born free, Taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, Some just don’t have film..
9. Life is unsure; Always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, It makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, You’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, They are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer… What I can’t stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, Why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, Are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, Leave work at noon!
20. If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.
21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, So, I made your horn louder!
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.
24. The cigarette does the smoking, You are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week.
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human; to forgive is not company policy.
28. The road to success…. Is  always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, But, if you think again, neither does milk.
30. In order to get a loan, You first need to prove that you don’t need it.
And my favorites …
31. All the desirable things in life are illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.
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Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude,  the captain announced:   
  
“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain.  Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead  is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back,  relax, and . . .OH MY GOD!”* 
  
Silence followed. 
  
Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!” 
  
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled . . . ” For the luvva  Jaysus . . . you should see the back of mine!”   

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Okay, so this one is great, sent in by my dad.

The next time you get a bit cranky and things don’t seem to be going quite the right way, think about this guy:
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I just gotta say…damn!

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So, my buddy wheats and I were talking on text the other day and he came up with a GREAT idea for a new section in Dragon Laffs.  He thought that …. well …. here’s the conversation as it happened:
WHEATS:  Lee Merriweather is on Star Trek.  (Did I mention that Wheats is a HUGE Star Trek fan?) Losira — “I am for you, James T. Krik.” She touches you and you die.

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WHEATS:  She was yummy.
WHEATS:  14
IMPISH: No kidding (very loquacious, right?)
WHEATS:  Original Catwoman in the 1966 Batman movie.
IMPISH: Yes she was (Yes, she was Catwoman or Yes, she was yummy?  Even I don’t know what the hell I was talking about)
WHEATS: Maybe in DL you could do a “hot wimmins of 60’s TV”
WHEATS: Barbara Feldon, Barbara Bain, Barbara Eden
WHEATS: And so many more
IMPISH: No doubt.  That would be cool. (Okay, so that was almost a coherent sentence)
WHEATS: Julie Newmar, Yvonne Craig, Elizabeth Montgomery
WHEATS: Eva Gabor
WHEATS: Marta Kristen (Judy Robinson)
Well, he shot names at me so fast, I couldn’t even reply, but because of him and that conversation, may I present…
WimminsLeeLee Merriweather was in The Time Tunnel (1966-1967), Batman (1966-1968), Mission Impossible (1966-1973) and many, many others that don’t fall into our category of 1960’s and TV.

 

FeldonBarbara Feldon was best known for her role as Agent 99 in Get Smart (1965-1970)

 

BainBarbara Bain was mostly known for her role in Mission Impossible, but I really enjoyed her in Space: 1999 even though it was in the 70’s.  Looking back at Space: 1999 I am amazingly disappointed in what we don’t have in the way of space travel and technology.

EdenBarbara Eden everybody knows from that fantastic costume in I dream of Jeannie.  She had many, many other roles, even to include a movie with Elvis (Flaming Star from 1960), but we will always remember her as Jeannie.

So, that’s a good start.  Let us know if there are other Hot Wimmins you’d like to see

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Why yes!  Yes it should be.

Well, I’m out of time, so that’s it for today.  Be well, be safe, be happy.

Cheers Impish

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1523

  1. Michael Collett says:

    Some of the Women’s march was a bit ugly. Shocking. in the least.
    I would like for someone to define the fine line between protest and treason.

  2. Ginny says:

    Well worth the wait, just knew you wouldn’t fail us. I too was a very happy camper watching President Trump being sworn in, Obama and Michelle looking pissed with his speech and of course there was Hillary in her white pants suit thinking IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! I most say looking at Melania Trump is a lot easier on the eyes, elegant, beautiful and I believe an asset for Donald in the next 4 (hope 8) years. Watching the CUPCAKES and SNOWFLAKES today was
    disgusting, get over it, he won and will be our President!

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