Well, it’s been one of those weeks again. All of us have been to the dentist and all three of us have crappy teeth. Well yeah. Add it to the list.
At least we aren’t drowning again like they are in Houston, Lethal’s stomping ground. I’m on text message with him right now (right now being Friday afternoon) and he says that not only is it flooding there, but the power is out again.
I told him that the only explanation is that he’s pissed off Mother Nature again.
He’s response really surprised me:
I’ve got a different idea. She’s mad at you and taking it out on me.
HOW DOES THIS END UP BEING MY FAULT!?!?
I’m not sure yet. Bet your ass I’m going to figure it out, though. I’ve done and said nothing to her. Even complemented her on her spring wild flowers.
I’ve had NO interaction with her or any of her minions at all.
You shit in her wild flower fields again?
Are you sure? No Mother Nature Mother-in-Law comparisons?
OHH! NOW I UNDERSTAND! It IS all your fault! I know what she’s pissed about. She was not wished Happy Mother’s Day OR Happy Earth Day! Earth Day is always a Saturday and Mother’s Day was your responsibility. Hence it’s your fault she’s mad and passing it on to me.
Hold on, I’m checking my records. I’m SURE I sent her a card.
I’m blaming you because you’re always late to the deadline and we don’t have time to double check or edit, just rush to the presses.
Terrance said he mailed out all the Mother’s Day Cards!
… Wait!…What! No postage! Are you friggin’ kidding me?!
I’ve got to go. I’ve gotta go find some place that’s lightning proof! As soon as she realizes where I am, I’m screwed!
Campers, I’m sorry. I gotta go. You guys go ahead and get started and I’ll catch up later.
The Oliver and Eggleston Funeral Home of Farmville, Virginia, began offering drive-through casket viewing for mourners of the deceased. It’s a perfect idea for today’s America. You drive up to the first window, view the body, then you drive up to the second window, pick up your fries and leave.
Phil Mickelson apologized for his million dollar fine by the Securities and Exchange Commission for insider trading and vowed to be more careful who he hangs out with. It’s tough. Four white guys can’t tee off together at a private golf club without the Obama Justice Department smelling a rat.
Another Spangler and another one of my favorites.
I get truly annoyed when someone tries to make me feel bad about something that I can’t possibly have anything to do with. I’m sorry, but I don’t feel sorry for any people that were slaves. The operative word being WERE. It was a horrible practice that almost EVERY race partook in. Yes, there were even free black Americans who, prior to the Civil War, owned other blacks as slaves. I never owned slaves, so why are so many people trying to make me feel guilty for being a white male?
Well, part of the problem is that our “First Family” continue to foster racism in a country that was well on their way to ridding ourselves of that nasty thought process. And I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and damn tired of it.
What possible reason, other than her wanting to continue the racist program that we’ve tried to rid ourselves of for so long, could she possibly have for bringing such bullshit up at a graduation ceremony? I’m sick of it. These people are not MY first family. Their morals and their politics are shameful and I will not claim them as my own.
I Think My Dog’s a Democrat by Bryan Lewis
Okay, so I get it. That last cartoon was just plain silly. But what do you expect from zombie humor?
So, I’m beginning to think that my Dragon Pix and my Fantasy Pix aren’t really going over like they used to.
No, I’m not going to stop them, I am just making an observation.
So, yes, I’m just being silly… then tell me what you think?
Ginny, at our last Halloween Party.
Please, don’t let it be that way for you. Lethal and I will do our very best to remind everyone of just how important our veterans are, but we can’t do it alone. We need your help too.
Okay this is too cute not to share:
DONALD AND HILLARY GO FISHING
How do you settle a presidential election when the vote is too close to call?
With an ice fishing contest, of course!
After the votes were counted, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were deadlocked.
Instead of going through a recount, the two agreed to a week-long ice fishing contest to settle the election.
Whoever caught the most fish at the end of the week would be the President.
The candidates decided a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin would be the ideal place.
No observers were allowed on the fishing rounds, but both candidates would need to have their catches verified and counted each night at 5 PM.
After Day 1, Trump returned with a total of 10 fish, Hillary came back with nothing.
Day 2 finished, and Trump caught another 20 fish, but Hillary once again came back with nothing!
That night, Hillary and her cronies got together and accused Trump of being a “low-life cheater.”
Instead of fishing on Day 3, they were just going to follow Trump to spy on him and figure out how he was cheating.
Day 3 finished up and Trump had an incredible day, adding 50 fish to his total!
That night, Hillary and her democratic buddies got together for the full report on how Donald was cheating.
Hillary stood up to give her report and said, “You are not going to believe this, he’s cutting holes in the ice!”
And that, my friends, tells you all you need to know.
You guys have read stuff from my buddy Wheats before. Well, here he is again with another great essay:
Well said! Bravo!