#1470–16 January 2016


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Good Morning Campers,

Well, it’s Monday and I finished up with my weekend yesterday.  Even though I was working, I got home in time to see the Vikings blow a last second shot to continue in the playoffs and I also got to see my Packers finally show up to play a game like they usually do when they played the Redskins. 

Mind you, the Packers didn’t show up for the first half…well…most of the first half.  They started thePackers1 game with a safety.  Not for them, against them.  It was the first time the Redskins scored a safety since 1984!  Then they scored a field goal and it was 5-0 in favor of Washington.

The Redskins then scored a touchdown and missed the extra point and the Packers were at an eleven point deficit.  Long story short, the Packers won, 35-18.  It was a good game!

Well, I’m writing this on Wednesday, before the Record Breaking Powerball drawing tonight.  $1.5 billion!  that’s $1,500,000,000!  We could put a huge dent in the country’s deficit!

Couldn’t we?

Well, $1.5 Billion is less than one-half of one percent of what the budget is, in other words, we’d have to win $1.5 Billion 12,000 times in order to pay off the deficit.

I know, sad, isn’t it?

Here’s how to decipher what your losing Power Ball ticket:

8  And just as a point of reference, if you are reading this, that means that neither I nor anyone in my family won the lottery.

Just saying.

I love Lethal’s Leprechaun Laffs.  I love the fact that he takes so much time to work his issue, putting a whole theme together, but it cracked me up as he tried to warm up from his deep freeze.  Let’s just take this morning as a random example:

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Just saying.

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I know that Lethal is originally a New England kid, like myself, so I know that he knows what I’m saying.  There is a huge difference in where you live and what you’re used to. 

I do want to say thanks to Lethal Leprechaun, my brother from another mother, my pal, my partner and cohort in crime.  Thanks for taking the time to put as much effort into your issues that you do.  I wish I had the time, like I used to have.  But, you guys just wait till I’m retired!  You guys just wait until I have lots and lots of time to work on my issue. 

When will I retire?

The way I figure it, I can retire when I reach the ripe old age of 75!

So yeah, I got a ways to go.

And here’s one that I just got from Jean that perfectly ties in with what we’ve been talking about:
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Well, today is Thursday and you ARE reading this on Saturday, so I guess you all know that I did NOT win the lottery.  And I thought I had some pretty good ideas as to how to use the money.

Of course, I’d do the regular things like paying off my bills, my house, by a new car, stuff like that, but I’d also like to do some really unexpected things and try to make a little difference in some people’s lives.

Go to a restaurant and order a cup of coffee and leave a $500 tip…just to watch the reaction on the waitress’s face.

Buy my favorite restaurant for one night.  Close the place down for a night and have a party, to include all the restaurant staff.  They could cook and stuff and still have a good time at the party.

I’d build a dart hall for the league I play in.  Hire a bartender, and have a cook with a kitchen and support it financially by myself.

I’d send a thousand dollars to all of you who’ve contributed to us over the years, without telling you of course.

I’ve got several friends who are struggling financially, who are working their asses off just to make ends meet (just like me), I wouldn’t give them money, but I’d pay off all their bills so they wouldn’t have to work so hard.

Things like that.  I’d make financial arrangements so that I would never have to work again and could do what I want to do, like write, sail, travel, help people, and other things.

I’d make a very special trip to Houston and finally meet my brother Lethal in the flesh.  Nope, him and I have never met.

Anyway, if wishes were fishes …

So, now I can say: Come on Campers, on with the show!

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Poor Hillary!  She’s being picked on so hard!

 

it’s funny how all the trust goes away when a man is looking for the remote.

“Are you sitting on the remote?”

-“No”

“Stand up!”

 

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3

Wow.  I knew they weren’t the toughest of cars, but I honestly thought it was tough enough to handle a dog and here we have proof that it can’t.

 

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My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet.  Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out.

After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.) Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, “Well, Doctor, I’ll bet you’ve never seen anything like this before.”

The Doctor replied, “Actually, I’ve seen lots of them……I just never saw one mounted and framed.”

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I want to know how they got Porn inside that little can!!!

 

dragon pic

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I really, really like this one.  Telling someone they are an idiot without using any bad language or derogatory comments at all.  Definitely got to get me some of these.

 

Philadelphia police caught a Muslim who tried to kill a cop in the name of Allah Friday. The same day FBI caught two Iraqis plotting ISIS attacks in Texas and California. President Obama plans to host a town hall to discuss how climate change results in gun ownership and white privilege.

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Every time my cop friends come over to the cavern, the first thing they ask is, “Did you file a police report?” 

When I ask why, they reply, “You were obviously robbed since they obviously tossed the place.”

I laugh, they laugh.

Then they ask, “Should we check for bodies?”

I laugh, they scowl.

 

This next one really pissed me off when I read it.  Thanks to Jean for sending it in.
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$75K a year!  That’s half again what I make in a year.  I’m the sole provider in my home, I average 50 hours a week, and I’m pissed that I not only have to work that hard and that I’ll probably never “retire” in the true sense of the word, but that we’re struggling to make ends meet and we have toVote support these assholes as well!

If this isn’t incentive enough for you to get out and vote those morons out of office in Washington, then you need to just go back in your hole while the rest of us deal with saving this country!

 

 

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I know that she sort of looks like a dragon and I know you’re thinking that female dragons are hot!  But she is not a dragon, she is a demon or fallen angel.  And fallen angels can be lots of fun, too!

 

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What the hell is a Ciara?

 

Oh!!!!
The National Anthem lady.
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8 hours isn’t going to be enough time.  faint

 

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An early picture of Dumbo, with both parents.

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Ain’t nothing worse than a drunken old goat.  I know that from experience.

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1749

 

President Obama will deliver his State of the Union address to Congress Tuesday in the House Chamber. In his opening line, Obama will declare that the State of the Union is strong. It’s always a good idea to start out your speech with a good joke to break up the crowd and get them on your side.

 

1750

 

Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced he will propose a Constitutional amendment returning power to the states from Washington. The state inherently resists federal controls. Beginning this new year, Texans may carry handguns in public places but they must conceal their Confederate flags.

ONLY IN AMERICA

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Hillary Clinton was revealed in her e-mails on Friday to have circumvented classification rules when she e-mailed secret material while Secretary of State. It’s alarming. If Hillary’s indicted before the election, it could end the Clinton dream of being America’s first two-impeachment family.

1753

More businesses need to be sensitive to this.  If you are selling grownup stuff, then you need to limit your clientele to grownups.

 

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It’s the honest truth.  Since Obama started his bullshit gun thing, gun sales and ammo sales has gone through the roof.  I’m paying about twice as much for ammo (if you can even find the caliber you’re looking for) now than I did even a couple of years ago.  All the guys I know who own guns, which is just about all the guys I know, have had the same experience.  The gun shows are packed, prices have gone through the roof and there is a shortage on a lot of the ammo and guns are.  Thank you Obama.

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And then there is this problem…and it’s worse than all the others.  Global warming is our biggest problem?  You are either evilly smart or you’re living under a rock.  Personally, I believe it to be the former.

 

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banging head

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Okay, I’ve groaned too many times over this comic.  That’s it for today.

 

One Monday morning the postman was walking through the neighborhood on his usual route delivering the mail.  As he approached one of the homes, he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
 
His wonder was cut short by Craig, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.
 mailman
‘Wow Craig, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,’ the Postman commented.
Craig, in obvious pain, replied, ‘Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning. We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?’
 
The Postman thought for a moment and said, ‘How do you play WHO AM I?’
 
‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the ‘family jewels’ showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is..’
 
The postman laughed and said, ‘Sounds like fun, I’m sorry I missed it.’
 
Probably a good thing you did,‘ Craig responded, ‘Your name came up seven times.

 

1754

Obviously, what else would it be?

 

‘Terrorists’ boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.
 
Just before take-off, a Royal Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
 
After take-off the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said ‘I need to get up and get a Coke.’
 
‘Don’t get up,’ said the Marine ‘I’m in the aisle seat, ‘I’ll get it for you.’
 
As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marine’s shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, ‘That looks good. I’d really like one too.’ Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.
 
While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine’s other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
 
As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbours, ‘Why does it have to be this way?’
 
‘How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations?
This hatred?
This animosity?
This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?’

 

1755

 

A liberal’s paradise would be a place where everybody has guaranteed employment, free comprehensive healthcare, free education, free food, free housing, free clothing, free utilities and only law enforcement has guns.       
 
And believe it or not, such  a place does indeed already exist:     
 
It’s  called Prison.”  
 
Sheriff  Joe Arpaio

 

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Oh, if only!!!  A true paradise!!

 

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Introductions

Inuendo

Invisible Shopping Cart

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Irish special forces

 

Retired Veteran with a Smart Wife:
Early one morning, an elderly retired veteran just finished a piece of artwork he had been working on and yelled to his wife, “Honey! Come see what I created! It’s an abstract panorama, depicting the seven years of the Obama administration!”

She yelled back, “Flush the toilet Bob and come eat your breakfast!”

 

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Here’s another great video sent in by my dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior.  It tells the story behind this iconic and famous picture. 

“Earthrise”
 It’s been on the cover of TIME and on stamps. But did you know it almost didn’t happen?
This occurred over 45 years ago, on Christmas Eve, 1968.
The site below is outstanding.  It takes you right onto the module with the 3 astronauts and you hear them as they see it for the first time.(It begins occurring around 3 minutes, 38 seconds.)
Just think, most of us were alive and watching when this happened. A picture like this, taken by a human, is not likely to happen even in the distant future.
The Untold Story Of one of the World’s Most Famous Photo


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Okay, one more video you’ll have to click a link on to get to, but this one is absolutely hilarious!!!  This one, too was sent in by my Dad and it’s Donald Trump’s Bed Time Story.

https://www.facebook.com/100008147201796/videos/1667421816872709/

 

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Today’s Last Word comes to us from  K².  It is an essay written as an analogy.  And it’s very, very good.  Thanks Karl!

This pretty much sums it up!

An interesting analogy.  You’ve been on vacation for two weeks, you come home, and your basement is infested with raccoons. Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement. You want them gone immediately, so you hire a guy. A pro. You don’t care if the guy smells, you need those raccoons gone pronto and he’s the guy to do it! You don’t care if the guy swears, you don’t care if he’s an alcoholic, you don’t care how many times he’s been married, you don’t care if he voted for Obama, you don’t care if he has plumber’s crack…you simply want those raccoons gone! You want your problem fixed! He’s the guy. He’s the best. Period. Gee…I wonder who the exterminator is and I wonder what the raccoons represent?  Read on, dear campers.

That’s why Trump. Yes, he’s a bit of an ass, yes he’s an egomaniac, but you don’t care. The country is a mess because politicians suck, the Republican Party is two-faced & gutless, illegals are everywhere. You want it all fixed! You don’t care that Trump is crude, you don’t care that he insults people, you don’t care that he had been friendly with Hillary, you don’t care that he has changed positions, you don’t care that he’s been married 3 times, you don’t care that he fights with Megyn Kelly and Rosie O’Donnell, you don’t care that he doesn’t know the name of some Muslin terrorist,…this country is weak, bankrupt, our enemies are making fun of us, we are being invaded by illegal’s, we are becoming a nation of victims where every Tom, Ricardo and Hamid is a special group with special rights to a point where we don’t even  recognize the country we were born and raised in; “AND WE JUST WANT IT  FIXED”  Okay, so the exterminator is Trump and the overwhelming problems that our country is facing are the overwhelming raccoons.  Got it. 

Trump is the only guy who seems to understand what the people want. You’re sick of politicians, sick of the Democratic Party, Republican Party, and sick of illegal’s. You just want this thing fixed. Trump may not be a saint, but doesn’t have lobbyist money holding him, he doesn’t have political correctness restraining him, all you know is that he has been very successful, a good negotiator, he has built a lot of things, and he’s also not a politician, he’s not a cowardly politician. And he says he’ll fix it.
You don’t care if the guy has bad hair.

You just want those raccoons gone.
Out of your house.

THIS MAY BE WHY HE LEADS THE POLLS! YA THINK?

You know, I’m not a fan of Trump.  Not at all.  But, the essay does make a lot of sense.  He’s not tied to anyone financially.  He speaks straight truth, even when we don’t like it.  He’s pro military and against the illegals, welfare as a life choice and many other things that we have espoused here at Dragon Laffs & Leprechaun Laffs Enterprises.  I’d love to hear from you guys as to who you think is a GOOD choice to run our country and get us out of the mess we are in.

And with that I’ll say good-bye until next time.

Ending

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2 Responses to #1470–16 January 2016

  1. Leah Diane Hanson says:

    In response to your welfare article, read this, we are getting a new load of them because Obama has changed their status from illegals to refugees …and they win all the welfare they can get.
    http://www.wnd.com/2016/01/obama-grants-refugee-status-to-new-wave-of-migrants/
    I have kept a picture of all the candidates on my desktop. As I have found out more about them, I have gradually put an X on the pictures of the ones I have ruled out.
    Cruz and Huckabee are the only ones left.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Honestly, there is not a good candidate in the bunch.
      In fact from where I stand we’re forced to drop our standards with each successive Presidency

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