Good Morning Campers,
Well, it’s Monday and I finished up with my weekend yesterday. Even though I was working, I got home in time to see the Vikings blow a last second shot to continue in the playoffs and I also got to see my Packers finally show up to play a game like they usually do when they played the Redskins.
Mind you, the Packers didn’t show up for the first half…well…most of the first half. They started the game with a safety. Not for them, against them. It was the first time the Redskins scored a safety since 1984! Then they scored a field goal and it was 5-0 in favor of Washington.
The Redskins then scored a touchdown and missed the extra point and the Packers were at an eleven point deficit. Long story short, the Packers won, 35-18. It was a good game!
Well, I’m writing this on Wednesday, before the Record Breaking Powerball drawing tonight. $1.5 billion! that’s $1,500,000,000! We could put a huge dent in the country’s deficit!
Well, $1.5 Billion is less than one-half of one percent of what the budget is, in other words, we’d have to win $1.5 Billion 12,000 times in order to pay off the deficit.
I know, sad, isn’t it?
Here’s how to decipher what your losing Power Ball ticket:
I love Lethal’s Leprechaun Laffs. I love the fact that he takes so much time to work his issue, putting a whole theme together, but it cracked me up as he tried to warm up from his deep freeze. Let’s just take this morning as a random example:
I know that Lethal is originally a New England kid, like myself, so I know that he knows what I’m saying. There is a huge difference in where you live and what you’re used to.
I do want to say thanks to Lethal Leprechaun, my brother from another mother, my pal, my partner and cohort in crime. Thanks for taking the time to put as much effort into your issues that you do. I wish I had the time, like I used to have. But, you guys just wait till I’m retired! You guys just wait until I have lots and lots of time to work on my issue.
When will I retire?
The way I figure it, I can retire when I reach the ripe old age of 75!
So yeah, I got a ways to go.
Well, today is Thursday and you ARE reading this on Saturday, so I guess you all know that I did NOT win the lottery. And I thought I had some pretty good ideas as to how to use the money.
Of course, I’d do the regular things like paying off my bills, my house, by a new car, stuff like that, but I’d also like to do some really unexpected things and try to make a little difference in some people’s lives.
Go to a restaurant and order a cup of coffee and leave a $500 tip…just to watch the reaction on the waitress’s face.
Buy my favorite restaurant for one night. Close the place down for a night and have a party, to include all the restaurant staff. They could cook and stuff and still have a good time at the party.
I’d build a dart hall for the league I play in. Hire a bartender, and have a cook with a kitchen and support it financially by myself.
I’d send a thousand dollars to all of you who’ve contributed to us over the years, without telling you of course.
I’ve got several friends who are struggling financially, who are working their asses off just to make ends meet (just like me), I wouldn’t give them money, but I’d pay off all their bills so they wouldn’t have to work so hard.
Things like that. I’d make financial arrangements so that I would never have to work again and could do what I want to do, like write, sail, travel, help people, and other things.
I’d make a very special trip to Houston and finally meet my brother Lethal in the flesh. Nope, him and I have never met.
Anyway, if wishes were fishes …
So, now I can say: Come on Campers, on with the show!
Poor Hillary! She’s being picked on so hard!
it’s funny how all the trust goes away when a man is looking for the remote.
“Are you sitting on the remote?”
Wow. I knew they weren’t the toughest of cars, but I honestly thought it was tough enough to handle a dog and here we have proof that it can’t.
My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out.
After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.) Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, “Well, Doctor, I’ll bet you’ve never seen anything like this before.”
The Doctor replied, “Actually, I’ve seen lots of them……I just never saw one mounted and framed.”
I want to know how they got Porn inside that little can!!!
I really, really like this one. Telling someone they are an idiot without using any bad language or derogatory comments at all. Definitely got to get me some of these.
Philadelphia police caught a Muslim who tried to kill a cop in the name of Allah Friday. The same day FBI caught two Iraqis plotting ISIS attacks in Texas and California. President Obama plans to host a town hall to discuss how climate change results in gun ownership and white privilege.
Every time my cop friends come over to the cavern, the first thing they ask is, “Did you file a police report?”
When I ask why, they reply, “You were obviously robbed since they obviously tossed the place.”
I laugh, they laugh.
Then they ask, “Should we check for bodies?”
I laugh, they scowl.
$75K a year! That’s half again what I make in a year. I’m the sole provider in my home, I average 50 hours a week, and I’m pissed that I not only have to work that hard and that I’ll probably never “retire” in the true sense of the word, but that we’re struggling to make ends meet and we have to support these assholes as well!
If this isn’t incentive enough for you to get out and vote those morons out of office in Washington, then you need to just go back in your hole while the rest of us deal with saving this country!
I know that she sort of looks like a dragon and I know you’re thinking that female dragons are hot! But she is not a dragon, she is a demon or fallen angel. And fallen angels can be lots of fun, too!
What the hell is a Ciara?
An early picture of Dumbo, with both parents.
Ain’t nothing worse than a drunken old goat. I know that from experience.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced he will propose a Constitutional returning power to the states from Washington. The state inherently resists federal controls. Beginning this new year, Texans may carry handguns in public places but they must conceal their flags.
ONLY IN AMERICA
Hillary Clinton was revealed in her e-mails on Friday to have circumvented rules when she e-mailed secret material while Secretary of State. It’s alarming. If Hillary’s indicted before the election, it could end the Clinton dream of being America’s first two-impeachment family.
More businesses need to be sensitive to this. If you are selling grownup stuff, then you need to limit your clientele to grownups.
It’s the honest truth. Since Obama started his bullshit gun thing, gun sales and ammo sales has gone through the roof. I’m paying about twice as much for ammo (if you can even find the caliber you’re looking for) now than I did even a couple of years ago. All the guys I know who own guns, which is just about all the guys I know, have had the same experience. The gun shows are packed, prices have gone through the roof and there is a shortage on a lot of the ammo and guns are. Thank you Obama.
And then there is this problem…and it’s worse than all the others. Global warming is our biggest problem? You are either evilly smart or you’re living under a rock. Personally, I believe it to be the former.
Okay, I’ve groaned too many times over this comic. That’s it for today.
Obviously, what else would it be?
Oh, if only!!! A true paradise!!
Retired Veteran with a Smart Wife:
Early one morning, an elderly retired veteran just finished a piece of artwork he had been working on and yelled to his wife, “Honey! Come see what I created! It’s an abstract panorama, depicting the seven years of the Obama administration!”
She yelled back, “Flush the toilet Bob and come eat your breakfast!”
Here’s another great video sent in by my dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior. It tells the story behind this iconic and famous picture.
Okay, one more video you’ll have to click a link on to get to, but this one is absolutely hilarious!!! This one, too was sent in by my Dad and it’s Donald Trump’s Bed Time Story.
Today’s Last Word comes to us from K². It is an essay written as an analogy. And it’s very, very good. Thanks Karl!
An interesting analogy. You’ve been on vacation for two weeks, you come home, and your basement is infested with raccoons. Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement. You want them gone immediately, so you hire a guy. A pro. You don’t care if the guy smells, you need those raccoons gone pronto and he’s the guy to do it! You don’t care if the guy swears, you don’t care if he’s an alcoholic, you don’t care how many times he’s been married, you don’t care if he voted for Obama, you don’t care if he has plumber’s crack…you simply want those raccoons gone! You want your problem fixed! He’s the guy. He’s the best. Period. Gee…I wonder who the exterminator is and I wonder what the raccoons represent? Read on, dear campers.
That’s why Trump. Yes, he’s a bit of an ass, yes he’s an egomaniac, but you don’t care. The country is a mess because politicians suck, the Republican Party is two-faced & gutless, illegals are everywhere. You want it all fixed! You don’t care that Trump is crude, you don’t care that he insults people, you don’t care that he had been friendly with Hillary, you don’t care that he has changed positions, you don’t care that he’s been married 3 times, you don’t care that he fights with Megyn Kelly and Rosie O’Donnell, you don’t care that he doesn’t know the name of some Muslin terrorist,…this country is weak, bankrupt, our enemies are making fun of us, we are being invaded by illegal’s, we are becoming a nation of victims where every Tom, Ricardo and Hamid is a special group with special rights to a point where we don’t even recognize the country we were born and raised in; “AND WE JUST WANT IT FIXED” Okay, so the exterminator is Trump and the overwhelming problems that our country is facing are the overwhelming raccoons. Got it.
Trump is the only guy who seems to understand what the people want. You’re sick of politicians, sick of the Democratic Party, Republican Party, and sick of illegal’s. You just want this thing fixed. Trump may not be a saint, but doesn’t have lobbyist money holding him, he doesn’t have political correctness restraining him, all you know is that he has been very successful, a good negotiator, he has built a lot of things, and he’s also not a politician, he’s not a cowardly politician. And he says he’ll fix it.
You don’t care if the guy has bad hair.
You just want those raccoons gone.
Out of your house.
THIS MAY BE WHY HE LEADS THE POLLS! YA THINK?
You know, I’m not a fan of Trump. Not at all. But, the essay does make a lot of sense. He’s not tied to anyone financially. He speaks straight truth, even when we don’t like it. He’s pro military and against the illegals, welfare as a life choice and many other things that we have espoused here at Dragon Laffs & Leprechaun Laffs Enterprises. I’d love to hear from you guys as to who you think is a GOOD choice to run our country and get us out of the mess we are in.
And with that I’ll say good-bye until next time.