Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman~

Just a few housekeeping notes before we get the issue rolling.

1. The rating stars are no longer found at the top of the issue but now at the end of the issue. This move was suggested by a reader who pointed out that people might be more apt to click on them to rate us if they were right where they finished the issue as opposed to having to scroll back to the start to find them and vote.. We’ll try the theory out for a while and see if it s true.
2. To those of you still drunk hung over, unable to stand with out support due to sexual exhaustion, suffering from heat stroke, sun burn or any other holiday weekend party induced malady. QUITCHERBITCHIN ALREADY! I spent the weekend sequestered in my office working to make sure things got to press on time so I don’t want to hear it, see your pictures or listen to you moan and groan about how you’re paying for the fantastic time you had.
3. (This applies only to those of you from #2 above who have not left since Saturday as yet) GET THE HELL OUT! The party officially ended Monday night at midnight CST. You’ve already missed a days work and you’re pissing off the cleaning crews who are starting to make threats about feeding the Ghouls, plus the denizens of the marsh and moat with those who just won’t leave. Besides being rude acting like Liberals &/or Occupiers, you are cutting into your recuperation time before our Independence Day Celebration.

Finally before I intone the opening line, let me just post this very important safety notice to someone purported to be important and vital around here.

Go Ahead Impish! I Double Dead Dog DARE you to even breath on the contents of this issue and see what happens! Remember the fence in the river at Camp Hokey Pokey? Small. Potatoes.

You’ve been warned Boy-o!

Come to think of it my new machine does sound a lot like Darth Vader when its brewing! Though admittedly it beeps more like R2D2 when its done.

I’m taking a few days off. Anybody needs me they can damned well find me at the end of the rainbow.

KFC’s Tray Typer keyboard

KFC isn’t exactly the company you think of when it come to cool new tech toys, but this new invention makes total sense. After all, how many times have you accidentally smudged up your smartphone screen by trying to text while enjoying some fast food?

Sadly, we won’t be seeing the Tray Typer here in the U.S. any time soon. The keyboard was part of a KFC promo campaign in Germany.

I swear Impish has decided to enter a contest with me when it comes to safe houses/ bolt holes. Every time I get one he gets one. This is a photo of him from his latest. Apparently that’s the last known photo of the Realtor and her dog in the boat, just prior to it mysteriously exploding and sinking.

Here’s a photo of one of my more recent acquisitions. Not to practical you say? On the contrary! It’s easily towable or bargeable to any new location I want. Doesn’t require shore hook ups which means I can place it where anyone approaching has to be looking for me and best of all it has an underwater escape hatch leading to a 65 m personal sub complete with its own docking mini sub and a 300m working depth.

NATIONAL HAMBURGER DAY – May 28

NATIONAL HAMBURGER DAY

National Hamburger Day is celebrated each year on May 28.  This day is set aside to honor a classic sandwich, the hamburger.  National Hamburger Day is part of National Hamburger Month.

For Some Fun Hamburger Trivia

See: http://www.foodreference.com/html/fhamburgers.html

It is most likely that the hamburger first appeared in the 19th or early 20th centuries and there is much controversy over it’s origin.  The true origin might not ever be identified with certainty.  Over the years, the hamburger has become a culinary icon in the United States.

From early on, the hamburger was prepared with all of the now typically characteristic trimmings. including onions, lettuce and pickles.

Since the beginning, many different variants of the hamburger have been created, some of which have become very popular.  Much of this diversity comes from restaurant chains that have tried to reproduce the success of other very famous and extremely successful hamburger chains.

5 Darkest McDonald’s Secrets

A case in point-

Its two day after a holiday eat leftovers. If you don’t have left overs it’s the day before National Hamburger Day, so celebrate early. Either way I ain’t cooking this week because I cooked ahead over the weekend while slaving away over a hot Lap Top to get this issue done on time.

Once you do, I then suggest you make these:

That’s Nutella under the roasted marshmallow. ‘Nuff said? No? We warmed the stay soft Chocolate chip cookies in tin foil before making them. ‘Nuff now? Thought so!

Drone Pilot Wings

Get Your Wings

What are the Drone Pilot Wings, anyway?

When a pilot or astronaut finishes flight training, they get their pilot wings. Astronauts get astronaut wings.

You worked hard to fly your first drone, but where are your wings? Well, we have the only authorized Drone Pilot Wings, and they’re exclusive to DronePilotWings.com!

Actual size: 2″ wide, wing-tip to wing-tip.

Wonder if there is such a thing as Dragon Drone Piloting Wings? I need a pair of those.

So we’ve had the Techno-weenies and Gadget-Geeks in our Armory Section working night and day in addition to revamping Miss Chitty (like me they get no freaking rest) working on a multipurpose defensive weapon that was easy to conceal but still covered most threats for our field agents. I think we finally have a winner!

I’ve noticed ever since their.. “unplanned little adventure” Mistress of the Ninja Kitties SC and Impish have been…missing at the same time with a fair amount of regularity. Ever watchful I focused the Jumbotron on finding out why and where they were going. From what I knew it wasn’t to visit Bruce at the same time. This is what I found is short order-

I believe the correct technical term for this particular situation is pussy whipped!

Though with cat moves like this I can see why he is:

Speaking of Bruce, you’ll all be happy to know he’s making a steady recovery. That is he is now. We had to find him a..health aide to make sure he stopped trying to over do it.

We were force to trim Bruce’s claws and tell him it was a result of his injuries. I think Impish is miffed. As he applied for the job in another one of his duty shirking schemes and got laughed at rejected right out of hand.

One of our D.R.A.G.O.N. agent Candidates John G (“Gatti”) Nome going through a section of his concealed sniping training

Wonder if its too late to get a change to the Election Laws passed for 2016?

Rest room ‘rules’ at the indoor shooting range I was at this weekend:

I particularly liked #4!

I hate to say it boys & girls but this will be the last installment of of ‘Tale of the IDIOT’.

I’ve run out of  entries in the Diary I liberated from where Impish had forgotten about it. Fear not however, I’m given to understand through an intermediary that the oft mention in the Diary ‘Cat’ also has some sort of recounting of at least part of their time together, as well possibly as a certain Unicorn. I hope to bring one or both of those to you very soon.

    Dragon Diaries Part Seven

Ated another tax collector this morning. What part of “dragon” do they not understand?

Starting to hope more tax collectors will come by. Empty calories, but they have great crunch factor. Maybe I could arrange to have a team of auditors stop in…
—Love the way their little briefcases pop between my teeth.

Biggest problem of being unable to write myself? Getting left in limbo for months at a time. Stupid ghost writer. I’d toast him but it might go badly.

“A one Llama, he’s a priest. A two Llama, he’s a beast.” Both are delicious when breaded and fried, what a feast! (With apologies to Ogden Nash)

Same old same old. Knight came a calling claiming I’d devoured his own true love, blah blah blah, despair. I mercy-ated him. You know, put him out of my misery and all that.

Knight had a squire, officious looking fellow with a poofy mustache. I ated him too. Crunch-crunch-crunch.

Cat came home all fluffy after arguing with some village official. Am most displeased. On the upside, said official will likely be delicious…