Dragon Laffs #1400

Labor Day
Good Morning Campers,

Welcome to issue #1400!  Woo Hoo!  Exciting stuff.  Yeah, right.  Anyway…

There’s a rumor going round out there, amongst you, that the person you saw with Diaman last week wasn’t the real Thor, but a Hollywood stand-in that we hired for the “publicity” we received.  I say “publicity” because you can all see the members of the lame-stream-media standing in the back with their cameras and videos to try and prove us wrong. I know you all don’t want them here and I don’t imagine they will be here much longer, since Diaman is due to arrive any … ah, there she is now.  And there is the Thunder God, pushing her in her wheel chair.  I think we should all watch this, it should be interesting.

You watch as Thor and Diaman approach her normal location under the pavilion and on her cushions.  You can just hear her pleading with Thor not to do anything too drastic.  She begs him not to harm anyone.  He leans down, gives her a peck on the cheek, and pats her arm, showing her that he will remain calm.  He then stands beside her with his arms crossed and doesn’t say a word.

From the back of the crowd, in the media section, a man can be heard muttering.  Then he shouts out loud, “This is just bullshit!  You expect us to believe that that steroid laced ignoramus is a God?  Please!”

Thor steps forward, a growl escaping his lips as Diaman puts a hand on his arm.  He settles back down, steps back and his previous calm face is replaced with a grimace.  Thunder can be heard rumbling in the distance even though the sky is clear.

The reporter won’t give up.  “Oh please!  Nice bit of theater there, with the,” the man makes quote fingers in the air, “thunder in the background. What a joke!  What a waste of time!  You’re a fraud!”

Diaman’s face turns to stone, she leans over to Thor and whispers loud enough for all to hear, “Ok my friend, that’s enough.  Kick his ass!”

Thor smiles, takes a step forward, raises his hands to the air and then points at the reporter.  Nothing happens.

The reporter laughs, along with several others in the media area.

Diaman slowly stands, and in her dulcet tones motions to her camper friends and says, “You guys need to move away.  He doesn’t want any innocents to get hurt.”  The campers begin to move away from the media as Diaman continues, “but you media members, any of those who agree with this ass, please feel free to show your support by pressing as close to him as possible.” Several reporters laugh and step a little closer to the big mouth in a show of solidarity, but many others put their eyes down and step further away.  “You may continue now lord Thor.”

Suddenly a bolt of lightning with an ear deafening crash leaps out and strikes the ground in a blinding flash of light.  When your eyes adjust back after the bright flash you see that there are several small piles of ash where the group of reporters who sided with the loud mouth used to be.

While everyone is standing there with their mouths open, you hear the sound of sleigh bells.  As the sleigh pulls up and Ginny steps down, she says in her Jersey accent.  “Sorry we were late, but traffic was…hey, what’d we miss?”

Through the ensuing silence, I speak back up…

Was there anyone who wanted to say anything to Santa?  No?  Then perhaps I’ll continue with my opening.  If you don’t mind.

So, it’s Labor Day Weekend…and one of the ways we celebrate here, other than the usual party and craziness, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that we really don’t need any real excuse to behave like that, do I?  Okay, where was I?  Oh yeah, one of the ways we celebrate is by not putting out a Labor Day Issue because, like all of you, we deserve a break from our labors as well.

So, with that being said, and with all the excitement we’ve already had, I just have one more thing before we get on with the laughter.

And that is ….

John Z, if you’re out there, please let us know how the whole Left thing went and whether you are doing alright or not.  We haven’t heard from you and are worried about you.

Now, …



Are you ready to start off with a good laugh?  This is great.



Why there aren’t a lot of us white guys in the NBA…



I had no idea that I was going to use this graphic again so soon.

Obama Sent No Representative to Memorial Mass for James Foley

President Barack Obama sent no White House representative to the memorial Mass held yesterday in Rochester, New Hampshire, for James Foley, the American journalist beheaded by the Islamic State in Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS) terrorists.

President Obama, however, did send three White House aides to Monday’s funeral for Michael Brown, an 18-year-old African American fatally shot in an encounter with a white police officer in Ferguson, Mo.

The memorial mass for James Foley took place Sunday at Our Lady of the Holy Rosary in Foley’s hometown. Connie Hammond, an administrative assistant at Holy Rosary, told CNSNews.com that no White House officials were in attendance.

Okay Obama. (Notice that by this time I’ve even dropped the honorific “Mister” from his name.  I dropped the word “President” a long time ago.)
You deserve it yet again this week…

5b (2)As hard as we’re trying to erase racism in this country, it’s alive and well thanks to your dumb ass.  All you are doing is propagating the same thing that you say you hate, you’re just doing it the opposite way.  You truly are a Horse’s Ass.


I want one!  Please Lethal!  Please, can we get one for the pool?



A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because “in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.”
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, “What are you doing?”
The cabbie answered, “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so get out and wait for a camel!”


Dragons love reading and books.  It’s even more fun to be read to.


Tale of 2 Doctors
2  patients limp into two different  doctors’ offices with the same complaint:  Both have  trouble walking and may require hip surgery.

Patient  1. is examined  within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and  has a time booked for surgery  the following week.

Patient  2. sees his  family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment,  then waits 8 weeks to  see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which  isn’t reviewed for another week  and finally has his surgery scheduled  for 6 months from then,  pending  the review boards decision on his  age and remaining value to  society.

Why  the different  treatment for the 2 patients?

The  FIRST is a Golden Retriever taken to a vet.
The  SECOND is a Senior Citizen on Obama care.

In  November, if there  is no change in government, we’ll all have to find  a good  vet.





Remember the Star Trek Movie …the original Star Trek crew, not the new stuff…that’s not to say that I don’t like the new stuff as well, I’m just sayin’…anyway, the Star Trek movie with the whales?  Star Trek IV, The Voyage Home.  That one.  And they discussed how intelligent whales are?  Well, I believe we have documented proof of exactly how smart they really are as these Beluga whales play with 3 children at an aquarium.

These whales were NOT taught to do this.  They just did it on their own.





Okay, this is friggin’ awesome!  Thanks to Rocky for showing this to me.  You think you have it tough?  This man put me to shame.



Important Women’s Health Issue:

* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
– Dizziness
– Nausea
– Vomiting
– Incarceration
– Erotic lustfulness
– Loss of motor control
– Loss of clothing
– Loss of money
– Table dancing
– Headache
– Dehydration
– Dry mouth
– And a desire to sing Karaoke

* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas.


This one is well worth checking out…it’s good to know that my mandatory naps in the afternoon are well worth the effort.  Lethal is always getting on me about my short little naps, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me sleeping from 1:45 to 3:45. 


Okay, so my daily schedule is like this:

0530 – Get up
0545 – 0645 Breakfast
0700 – 0730 Get to work morning coffee
0730 – 0800 Work
0800 – 0900 Morning Break
0900 – 0930 Work
0930 – 1130 Morning Nap
1130 – 1145 Work
1145 – 1315 Lunch
1315 – 1345 Work
1345 – 1545 Afternoon Nap
1545 – 1645 Afternoon Virgin Break
1645 – 1700 Work
1700 – 1830 Dinner
1830 – 1900 Work

So, you see, it’s very plain.  I work a 12 hour day and he has the nerve to complain about a lousy short little nap in the afternoon, even when it’s proven that it improves my productivity.


A ragged old derelict shuffled into a down-and-dirty bar.  Stinking of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the “Piano Player Wanted” sign from the window and handed it to the bartender.

“I’d like to apply for the job,” he said.  “I was an F-4 Pilot, flying off carriers back in ‘ Nam , but when they retired the Phantom, all the thrill was gone, and soon they cashed me in as well.  I learned to play the piano at Officer’s Club happy hours, so here I am.”

The barkeep wasn’t too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business was falling off.  So, why not give him a try.

The seedy old pilot staggered his way over to the piano while several patrons snickered. By the time he was into his third bar of music, every voice was silenced.

What followed was a rhapsody of soaring music unlike anything heard in the bar before. When he finished there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.

The bartender took the old fighter pilot a beer and asked him the name of the song he had just played.

It’s called, “Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I’m Going Balls To The Wall For You,” he said. After a long pull from the beer, leaving it empty, he said, “I wrote it myself.”

The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano player just went on into a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime that had the place jumping.  After he finished, the fighter pilot acknowledged the applause, downed a second proffered mug, and told the crowd the song was called, “Big Boobs Make My Afterburner Light.

He then launched into another mesmerizing song and everyone in the room was enthralled.  He announced that it was the latest rendition of his song, “Spread ’em Baby, It’s Foggy Out Tonight and I Need To See The Centerline“.  He excused himself and headed for the john.

When he came out the bartender went over to him and said, “Hey, fly boy, the job is yours; but, do you know your fly is open and your pecker is hanging out?”

“Know it”, the old fighter pilot replied, “Hell, I wrote it!”






Animal Chatter 2







Here’s another golf joke out there for all you golfers….but especially for my favorite golfer.  Hope you get a laugh, Dad.


An avid male golfer’s buddies were going to be out of town for the weekend so he decided to go down to the golf course and see if any group might need a fourth member.

Sure enough there were three women and they were glad to have him join them.

Since he was the guest, they decided to let him tee off first. The man teed off and his ball sliced badly to the right and landed in a sand trap. The man immediately exclaimed “Oh shit!”

One of the women reminded him that he was playing with three ladies and not his male buddies and that ladies do not appreciate that kind of language.

The man promptly apologized and promised it would not happen again.

The woman who had spoken to him about the cursing then teed off and her ball hit a tree and then caromed off into the same sand trap. She immediately said, “Oh shit!”

The man spoke up and said that he realized he was a guest but it seemed like there was a double standard in that the woman used the same word that he was told he should not use.

The woman quickly replied, “There’s no double standard. Your ball didn’t hit the fucking tree!”




So, it’s Labor Day Weekend.  One of the biggest requirements of the weekend is the obligatory last “official” barbeque of the summer.  And as far as barbeques go, there is the obligatory beer that goes with it.  So, this year at the annual Labor Day picnic, barbeque and orgy at DL&LL Electronic Media Enterprises, we aren’t going to buy as many cases of beer as we normally do.  We are going to be using these guy’s:

As well as the usual Ales, Beers, alcoholic beverages and others.






Amen.  Nothing more seems to be needed to be said.


Geek Goddess




Gelatinous Cbe

Okay, so if you don’t get this last one, don’t worry about it.  You’re probably too young to have played this game…or you’ve played some bastardized version on a computer somewhere.  Points and kudos to anyone who can figure out what game I’m talking about and make comment in the comments section.  (Like there is anywhere else you’d make comments?)


Three women who were friends in high school returned to their home town to attend their 45th class reunion and have lunch together.

Their talk turns to their position in life, and it’s clear that they are trying to one-up each other.

The first woman says, “My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks,” and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second woman says, “Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,” and looks about with considerable pride.
The third woman says, “Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don’t have much money and we don’t have any material possessions — but 13 canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband’s erect penis.”

After a long silence, the first woman looks shame-faced and says,”Girls, I’ve got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We’re not really going to the French Riviera . We’re going to my parent’s house for two weeks.”

The second woman says, “Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn’t buy me a Mercedes — he bought me a Taurus.”

“Well,” the third woman says, “I also have a confession to make. Canary number 13 has to stand on one leg.”




A blonde reports for her university final exam, which consists of mainly true and false questions.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails.
Within 30 minutes she’s all done, while the rest of the class is still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.
‘I finished the exam in a half hour,’ she replies, ‘and since I have some time
left, I’m rechecking my answers.’




The Last Word

I am VERY hesitant to print this essay from a self described black handicapped veteran who is dying.  Not because of the fact that he is black, handicapped or a veteran, or even because of the declaration of his dying, but because of the very direct and unacceptable language that he uses.  He does explain himself and explains WHY he uses this language, but I want you to know ahead of time to be prepared.

I was unable to verify the veracity of this essay, but after reading through it, I really don’t have to.  This is one person’s opinion.  And it doesn’t matter WHO wrote it, because it’s obviously been written.  I am curious to hear your opinions about it.

And for the record, I agree wholeheartedly with his sentiment, if not the language he uses.

The words of a dying man have always captured my attention, right or wrong, they are worth reading.  I believe what this dying man has to say has a lot of truth.  May not be what some will want to hear.
I wanted to clear up a few black and white questions and answers.  The things I state are facts.  They are not downloaded from some media website, not propaganda, just observations from a 70 year old black man, born in America .
I was told by my parents (yes, a married man and woman with my last name), that I was nigger.  We lived in “ Nigger Town ” in a small Texas town, no A/C, grass growing through the floor, no car, no TV.  We washed our bodies with lye soap that my mother made, by hand.  I thought I was a nigger, until I graduated high school, went to college, did an enlistment in the Army, and got a job.  I am now retired, own my own home, have 6 children by ONE WOMAN, and we all have the same last name.  I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Liberal Arts, a Master’s Degree in Sociology.  My retirement, VA disability from combat in the Korean War (I only have one leg), and part-time pay in a local college, is about $125,000 a year.  From dirt poor nigger, to old, black, proud American.
Yes, I am black, and I can say “nigger”, because I understand the true meaning of the word.
Let’s clear up a few things about the Michael Brown incident.
-Fact:  It is not called “shoplifting or stealing”, it’s called “robbery”, which is a felony.  Brown stole something and assaulted someone, that means ROBBERY.  It’s on video, and it’s a fact.  Not shoplifting, not theft, not “lifting” a few cigars, but ROBBERY!
-Michael Brown, like Trayvon, was portrayed by the media as a “little black boy”, cute little headphones, and his cap and gown photo, gunned down by a ruthless police assassin, executed by “whitey”.  First, I have never seen a cop drag a person into their car’s driver door to arrest them.  So, let us be clear, Michael Brown was a nigger; a sorry assed, criminal, hoodlum, nigger.  Nobody wants to say that, but I will.  He had a criminal record a mile long, was known for numerous assaults, robberies, including the one you saw with your own eyes, and still refuse to call it a robbery.  He was, like so many others, living a life that he thought he was “entitled” to,  just for being alive.  Gangsta rap, weed, drinking, guns, and those stupid-assed low profile rims, makes him some kind of bad-ass nigger.  
-I have fought communist Chinese and North Korean soldiers in the 1950’s with more honor than that nigger.  Yep, I peeled potatoes and shot communists.  That’s the only job a nigger soldier could get.
-Rodney King?  Black Riots! 
-Trayvon?  Black Riots! 
-Hurricane Katrina?  Black Riots!  Stealing TV’s, designer clothes, etc.
-O.J. Simpson kills white man and white woman, found NOT GUILTY?  Did white folks riot?  Nope!
-In fact, when is the last time white people rioted?  Civil War, maybe?  That’s because they are, relatively, civilized people, much like many black Americans.  Protesting is one thing, hell, I’m all for it.  Even if you are an ignorant idiot, you have a right to protest.
-Stop only showing the young black “cap and gown” photos of Michael.  Charles Manson may have a few of those laying around, as well.  Show the nigger “gangsta” photos of the “poor unarmed teenager” (grown man) pics that have been removed from his Facebook page, holding the loaded pistol, smoking weed, with a mouthful of money.
-Militarization?  The stupid-assed media that publicizes this has no idea what “militarization” really is.  Cops wear helmets and vests, and drive armored vehicle because unemployed niggers thrown bricks at them, moron!  You put on an “Adam 12” uniform and walk down the streets of Ferguson during the criminal riots.  I can guarantee that you’ll jump into the first armored “military tank” that you see.
-You only “want the police” when you “need the police”, otherwise, you mock and fear what you do not understand about the police.  And by the way, the police are trained to take your shit, but I wouldn’t fuck around with those Army National Guard, they aren’t as well disciplined “culturally” to take your shit like police do every day.  They will ventilate your black asses with M-16s, with military precision and extreme prejudice.
-And finally, the way we protest and demand justice, is run down the streets breaking shit, looting stores, and acting like a bunch of untrained monkeys?  Hell, after Rodney King, criminal niggers were actually killing people, thinking they were entitled to be worse criminals than they already were.  For those black criminals that do that, you are a disgrace to your race, inflamed by idiots like Al Sharpton, instead of listening to logic from proud black Americans, like Bill Cosby, Samuel Jackson, Colin Powell, Allen West, me, etc.
-You blame white people for your ignorance, criminal acts, unemployed laziness, etc.
-You blame white people for 89% of the prisons in America being full of blacks.  They did nothing wrong, the racists white cops framed them all, right?  No chance at school, no chance for college, military, employment?  BULL SHIT!
-More niggers kill niggers, than niggers killing whites, whites killing niggers, and whites killing whites….COMBINED.  I find this astounding.
-It’s not white peoples’ faults, the Emancipation Proclamation was signed by a white man years ago.  You can go to school, get a job, buy a house, and vote, JUST LIKE WHITE FOLKS!!!!   You are not a slave, you are not discriminated against!  Slavery is abolished, and nobody alive today, was alive when it was popular.  Get over it!  You are discriminated against because you are a criminal, sorry-assed nigger.  Otherwise, black Americans are treated like everyone else.
-If you choose to create “baby daddy and baby mama”, and fake disabilities as an excuse for laziness to draw social security disability…… instead of husband, wife, family, job, mortgage, it’s YOUR FAULT, not white folks.  And there are a lot of proud black Americans that will tell you the same, as I AM ONE OF THEM!!!
-Remember, the way you act on the camera, is remembered by everyone who sees it.  They will never forget it.  It shows them how you, as the black race, responds to situation that don’t particularly go the way you think they should.  It will become a reference standard, something they expect from you when the next media report doesn’t go your way.  Stop being stupid niggers, and be a proud black American.  My parents raised me well, but they were wrong about one thing, I am not a nigger.
I will not be around long.  While my mind is still sharp, and my aim is still good, my body is eating away with cancer.  It started in the prostate, and is spreading rapidly.  After I die, I have asked my children to publish my writings, and include my name.  Although I am not expecting any miracles, I can only hope that Americans will stop blaming color, start blaming criminals, and see people for what they really are.  We have too many countries that want us dead.  We should not be fighting each other.

I don’t know if, by this being published it means this man has died, or because there is no name attached to it that it means he’s still alive, but regardless, I wish him and his family well.



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16 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1400

  1. Ethan Zachary says:

    Thanks so much to Impish for posting the black vet’s story. I think I can guess the reasons for the apparent timeline contradictions.

    There is so much merit in what was written by the alleged Korean War vet, and yet all of the background digging I did turned up nobody who could ID the author, or be sure of when that writeup first appeared — even though some claimed it was very recent, in the last couple of months or so. Here’s my theory…

    The writeup says the author is 70 years old and dying, and was in the Korean War. (1950-1953). If we pick a year from the middle of that war, say 1952, and subtract that from today, 2014, we estimate the author was about 8 years old in 1952, a little young for combat. On the other hand, if this writeup was originally written about 10 years ago (as I suspect), then the writer could easily have been 18 and legitimately mired in that gory war. So how to account for the much more recent references to news about Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown (in Ferguson, MO)?

    As happens with a lot of good writing (which I think this was, and is), I think the original was recently updated — about a decade after the first author had died. Then all the references make sense. That would also explain why there’s such a cloud over identifying the first author, let alone the probable second author.

    That’s the best theory I can generate. RIP to that honorable vet.

  2. Richmond Hill says:

    Well, perhaps some of what the old black veteran said was true, but if he’s 70 years old, he would have been about nine at the end of the Korean war. The people who make this stuff up should learn basic math.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Nice catch Richmond! I should have spotted that given Molly’s Grandfathers work interviewing WWII Veterans for the
      National Museum of the Pacific War and my assistance in locating contact info some of these gentleman. Most of them
      are in their very late 80’s and 90’s and Korean War Vets would only be maybe 5 to 7 years younger tops.

      Thanks for commenting and throwing the BS Flag for us even if a lot of what got said does make a great deal of sense. Why people are afraid to stand up and say what they think and feel about a subject which is their right as Americans w/o hiding behind some fakery I’ll never quite understand. OH wait! Liberals will declare them racists! Sorry I forgot!

  3. paul says:

    awesome rant – thanks for printing – i love to read blacks with enough common sense to understand what these punks are doing

  4. Ginny says:

    I sent in a long ass comment but I don’t see it here….but I did want you to know I had my way with Santa and you will be getting your pool.

    • impishdragon says:

      I’m not sure why you think your long ass comment didn’t come through, as you can see, it’s right there. Anyway, thanks very much for your wonderful comments and all the nice things you had to say. They are deeply appreciated.
      Even more appreciated is you taking one for the team with Santa and getting us our pool! I truly hope it wasn’t too horrible for you. We all know what a sexist pig he is.
      Any way Jersey girl, thanks for all you’ve done.

  5. Ginny says:

    Where do I begin, Impish this #1400 issue is by far the best I’ve read over the years being with Dragon Laffs. Glad you remembered my JOISEY accent as I stepped from the sleigh…you are too funny. I was so hoping we all found out the results of the LEFT operation for John Z He is not going to live this one down. Moving on to the videos, it was totaling silly but I laughed the whole time watching the slippery squirrel. Now, due to age….my short term memory is shot to hell….but I do remember going to each one and thinking WOW. The jokes, and …. and were all great! Moving on to Mr Obama….I agree that it was a total disgrace that he didn’t attend or send representation of our government to the memorial mass for James Foley. He spoke to his parents by phone and guess he felt his obligation was complete and headed back to his vacation and golf game. Then hearing today about him taking the time to go to two political fund raisers. How does the man sleep???? OK…now on to the NAP info, very informative, and reading your schedule of 12 hour days…you have to be dragging your tail on the way home to Mrs. Dragon. You said you had to be younger to get the Jello cube…..well I’m not younger and still don’t know…. whatcha talkin’ about Willis????? Ending with your last word of the dying black veteran….I wish I could write the man and say how proud I am of him and every word he was saying is the truth. Riots, looting and they wonder why there is racial profiling. I just love whenever there is a BLACK news worthy incident anywhere in our country….you know the Rev. Al Sharpton will be there!!!!!!!!

    Again, I so enjoyed the #1400 issue, I thank you and Lethal for all your hard work you both put into Dragon Laffs. In the world we live in, it’s nice to forget for a little while as we read our Dragon Laffs!

  6. lethalleprechaun says:

    1.) Short breaks don’t count my globe and anchor tattooed left bum cheek! Maybe when you were smoking cheroots but I’ve seen those foot long by inch diameter things you’re trying to pass off as quick little smokes!

    2.) Fair? Then how come YOU didn’t pay to the 99 pack?

    3.) My guess is only those who’ve ever braved the interior of an institutional fridge and encountered a quivering wall of green jello.

    4.) So now you’ve got Ginny doing your dirty work! You know how many years you get on the Naughty list for tricking Santa?

    5a.) From what I heard you made noises about their continued employment which is harassment.
    5b.) If they are employed by us the are NOT part of your harem. You know the rules! DON’T make me send Bea Arthur Roseanne and Joan Rivers all naked with a case of Viagra into your bedroom and then bar the door from outside. LAY OFF THE FEMALE STAFF!

    • impishdragon says:

      1) Okay, you caught me on that one.
      2) I DID pay for that whole case. And the ones for the party.
      3) You are probably quite right on that one.
      4) There’s no trickery. She could say it’s for her therapy. But you do have a really good point on the naughty list thing so I’ll have to rethink my strategy on that one.
      5a&b) okay & oh my gawd! OUCH!

  7. lethalleprechaun says:

    1.) you left out all your snack & smoke breaks from you daily schedule as well as I’m just going to step out and stretch my wings fly over the town a couple times its so cramped in here breaks
    99 can of Peacekeeper on the wall
    99 can of Austin’s finest craft Ale
    Lethal takes one down passes it around
    And Impish bogarts the rest with his tail!

    3.) Gelatinous Cubes were the early Dungeon & Dragons Dungeon Master’s go to trick trap &/or gotcha for low level dungeon assured to catch all manner of low level noob. They filled rooms, pools, pits, posed as windows plopped down from above and were down right handy for motivating the movement of a party that had become bogged down tarrying in an area for too long.

    4.) You’ve got Santa doing shuttle service for Ginny so if you want that pool ask him for one!

    5.) Stop taking provocative photos of the sexatarial pool! You got the virgins, so paws claws and bifurcated tongue off the Geek girls their mine!

    • impishdragon says:

      5 Replies:
      1) Those are just short breaks. No need to add them in. I enjoy my cigars and it is cramped in my office.
      2) Well truthfully I am 99 times larger than you, so it is a fair split.
      3) I knew you knew what they were, I wonder how many other people will get it.
      4) I don’t have Santa doing anything. He already turned me down. But maybe if Ginny asked him really nice like…
      5a) All those geek girls WANTED to be in those pictures.
      5b) Fully half of the geek girls ARE my virgins.

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