Dragon Laffs #1397


Header92Out in the middle of the campground, there is a stage set up, with a microphone and a stool.  As everyone is settling down into their camp chairs, logs, and lawn chairs, coffee and pastries in hand, the curtains roll open, and Impish Dragon steps out, with a suitcase in hand.  He takes a few steps forward, flips the suitcase around in a circle and a set of legs pops out of the side.  With a flourish, he then opens the suitcase and reaches inside, pulls out the head of the older model of iLethal, which now is posted on top of a real stick.  He holds up the head, smiles at you and you prepare yourself for a Jeff Dunham look alike act and instead of Jose Jalapeno on a stick, you have iLethal Leprechaun on a stick. 

Good Morning Campers!  What a day we have for you today.  Let me start by saying that Lethal went to great length to propose my treating his one remaining iLethal robot as a ventriloquist act.  The truth be told, if I was a little better at throwing my voice or talking with a Mexican accent, I might even consider it.  But, let’s face it.  That schtick would only be good for some cheap laughs.  Not that I’m opposed to cheap laughter, but we have bigger and better things to discuss this morning.

With this Impish tosses the iLethal head back into the suitcase.  Where is heard:

Ow!  Dammit!  Dat hoit!

Sorry Larry.  I didn’t realize you were there.

Youse best be careful, my brudder Guido gonna kick your …

Impish closes the suitcase and the voice with the thick Jersey accent is suddenly cut off.

Enough rubbish.  Let’s start out today wishing a very special camper a very special birthday. 

5iYup, today is my Dad’s Birthday and I’d like to take this opportunity to tell  him how much I love him, miss him and wish we lived closer so we could see each other occasionally.  I hope you have a truly wonderful and marvelous day and I’ll give you a call when I get off work.

I just checked Baby June’s website and they are still only at 12% of their goal.  Come on folks, we’re running out of time to try and make a difference in this little baby’s life.  Thanks to all of you who’ve given, and the rest of you, if you could please, just spare a little…a small amount…every single dollar counts.  Here’s the website: https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/8lv4/baby-june-s-fight-against-cancer

I won’t bother you anymore with this.  But please, keep it in mind.

You may have noticed the snapdragons in the header for today and the little poem that goes along with them.  If you can’t see them very well, here they are again:

6dIsn’t that the most wonderful thing you’ve ever seen?  They were sent to me by Lethal because I hurt myself last week in a horrible accident.  Yes, I’m fine, my finger will heal.  All is well.

And speaking of Lethal, he should be back this week.  He would’ve been back sooner, but it seems there was an accident with Shamrock 1, his personal jet.  See, I was so excited that he was coming back that I flew out to meet him and well, there was a slight bumping of said jet aircraft and a flying blue dragon.  Dragon is fine (now, I’m NOT saying that this accident is where I hurt my finger, instead of the ridiculous spork incident that Lethal had mentioned, but I will let you draw your own conclusions as to what REALLY happened.) but poor jet is now nothing but a smoking hole in the ground.  I’m sure I’ll soon be paying for Shamrock 2.  But, because of that, Lethal had to fly back…gulp… commercial!  So I’m sure he’ll be suffering something awful by the time he returns.

Well, that’s enough of that, why don’t we get to the laughter?

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Ok, I’m gonna start right out with a rant because I’m bloody well pissed!
Let’s start with this headline:

Justice Ginsburg: Buying Contraceptives for Others is One of the ‘Obligations That Citizens Have’

ruth bader ginsburg

Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (AP)

(CNSNews.com) – Providing women with cost-free health-insurance coverage for contraceptives  is one of the “obligations” of citizenship, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Wednesday in an interview with Yahoo’s Katie Couric.

“Some people say there’s something troubling about mandating a private company though, to do something that is against their deeply held religious beliefs. What would you say to those people?” Couric asked Ginsburg, one of four dissenting justices in the court’s landmark Burwell v. Hobby Lobby decision.

“When you’re part of a society, you can’t separate yourself from the obligations that citizens have,” the justice replied.  Bullshit!  I have no “obligation” to provide anyone with anything!

Ginsburg called the 5-4 ruling in Hobby Lobby “a decision of startling breadth.” The case concerned a regulation issued by the Department of Health and Human Services under the Affordable Care Act that said virtually all health-insurance plans in the United States must provide all women of reproductive capacity with co-pay-free coverage for all FDA-approved contraceptives.

These “contraceptives” included two forms of IUDS and two drugs that can terminate a human life by preventing an embryo from implanting in the mother’s womb. The Green family, which owns Hobby Lobby, said buying these IUDs and abortifacients drugs violated its Christian faith and that the Religious Freedom Restoration Act prohibited the federal government from forcing them to violate their faith in that way. The majority of the Supreme Court agreed.  And that’s ALL they disagreed with.  Not supplying contraceptives in their insurance to their employees, even though they may have disagreed with their use, but these 4 specific contraceptives.

“Your 35-page dissent has been described as blistering and scathing,” Couric noted to Ginsburg. “Why did you find this decision so disturbing?”

“The decision that an employer could refuse to cover contraceptives meant that women would have to take care of that for themselves or the men who cared,” Again I cry Bullshit!  They did NOT refuse to cover contraceptives, just those 4!  Ginsburg replied. “Contraceptive protection is something that every woman must have access to to control her own destiny,” she added.  Bullshit again!  Every woman does not HAVE to have access to contraceptives to control their own destiny.  Give me a break!!  Every woman is already in control of their own destiny by the decisions they make.  Just like everyone in the world, you make a decision, you live with the results of those decisions.  For goodness sake, if you really want to control your own destiny, keep your damn legs closed!  Take responsibility, provide your own condom, what the hell are you doing with a “man who DOESN’T care??!!  Damn, I’m offended by that wording!

“I certainly respect the belief of the Hobby Lobby owners. On the other hand, they have no constitutional right to foist that belief on the hundreds and hundreds of women who work for them who don’t share that belief. I had never seen the free exercise of religion clause interpreted in such a way.”  They certainly DO have the constitutional right to believe and exercise their belief in that way!  They even have the constitutional right to not even provide insurance.  They could hire nothing but part time employees, or pay them enough to provide their own insurance.  Instead, they try, very hard from what I understand from people who work at the local Hobby Lobby, to make a very GOOD working environment.

This liberal minded nut bag witch thinks it’s my responsibility to pay for her rubbers she’s out of her loony-left mind!

So again, I say to Madam Ginsburg…
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Okay…we need a little humor to take the smell of that bullshit out of my nostrils.

 

5g

Okay, I just found this.  Was looking for the Pelosi remark where he called one of her republican counterparts “insignificant” twice, while wagging her finger in his face, but I found this, which goes along so well with the rant above, I had to show it to you.  Go Megyn Kelly!

Okay, so NOW we’ll get to some of the fun stuff…
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Definitely gonna save that one for the Izzy Dragon in a few years.

 

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DragonPapa1 (268)

Looks just like my brother dragon hacking up a hair ball…or a scale ball?  Nah, works better as a hair ball.

 

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Okay, this one is great!  This little guy (18 month old) controls over 500 rowdy teenagers

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Wow!  I have NEVER heard this explained better.  Dennis Prager, is 5 short minutes, explains the entire problem in the middle east.  Definitely worth watching!!!

 

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Fantasy Pic Green

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Fairy with attitude!

 

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Lethal Leprechaun as a very young child….

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Okay, under the category of “We Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up!”

How Disney got this woman’s passport denied

Now that Disney owns the Star Wars universe, everyone’s favorite villain, Darth Vader, has gone to Disneyland!

But one woman in the UK can’t. She’s having quite a bit of trouble with her legally changed name.2

Her name is Laura Matthews and she legally changed her name in 2008 to include her middle name: Skywalker.

She signs documents as L. Skywalker and the name is on her driver’s license, bank cards and the like. However, when she filed to renew her passport with her new name, she was told that the Home Office:

… will not recognize a change to a name which is subject to copyright or trademark. … We have a duty to ensure the reputation of the UK passport is not called into question or disrepute,” a spokesperson told the BBC.

Unfortunately for Miss Skywalker, that patent belongs to Disney and her only alternative to a long legal battle is to get a passport with her non-Star Wars name. Looks like she won’t be taking any trips to Disneyland anytime soon

See, I told you.

Politically Incorrect

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At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a

witness. ‘Isn’t it true,’ he bellowed, ‘that you accepted five thousand dollars to
compromise this case?’
 
The witness still did not respond.
 
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, ‘sir please answer the question.’
 
‘Oh’, the startled witness said, ‘I thought he was talking to you!’

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After a long day on the golf course, I stopped in at ˜Hooter’s to see some friends and have some hot Wings and drinks.
 
After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.
 
I told them “The one who knows how to fix elevators.”
 
I’m old, tired, and pee a lot

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The biggest factor of why seniors are losing more and more benefits…. They are getting blamed for the country going broke.

This has gone out to almost two million people .  It’s easy to dismiss individual programs that benefit non-citizens until they’re put together and this picture emerges. Someone did a lot of research to put together all of this data. Often these programs are buried within other programs making them difficult to find.


A RealM Eye Opener

WHY is the USA BANKRUPT? Read this:We have been hammered with the propaganda that it was the Iraq war and the war on terror that is bankrupting us.


I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that the readers gets sick of reading them. I also have included the URL’s for verification of all the following facts.

 

1.  $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year by state governments.   Verify   At: http://www.fairus.org/site/PageServer?pagename=iic_immigrationissuecenters7fd8
<http://www.fairus.org/site/PageServer?pagename=iic_immigrationissuecenters7fd8


2.
   $22 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens. 
  Verify  At:
http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML

<http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML

3.   $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens.  Verify at:  http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML <http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML


4.
   $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here
illegally and they cannot speak a word of English! Verify  At:

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt…0.HTML
<http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt…0.HTML>    


5.
   $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.
Verify At: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.

HTML<http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>    


6.
    3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.

 Verify at:http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML <http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>  

7.  
30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.   

Verify at:https://owa.slugger.com/owa/UrlBlockedError.aspx
<https://owa.slugger.com/owa/UrlBlockedError.aspx>       

 

8.   90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & Social Services by the American taxpayers.   Verify  At: http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.HTML
<http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.HTML>     


9.
    $200 Billion dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens. 
Verify At:   http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRI
<http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRI>    

13.

    In 2006, illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances to their countries of origin.   Verify At:.     <http://www/ <http://www/> /..rense..com/general75/niht.htm <http://rense.com/general75/niht.htm>

14.   The dark side of illegal immigration:    Nearly One million sex crimes committed   by illegal immigrants in the United States .    Verify  At: http:// www.drdsk.com/articleshtml <http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml>  
 
The total cost is a whopping 
$ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR AND IF YOU’RE LIKE ME, HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY; IT IS $338,300,000,000.00 WHICH
WOULD BE ENOUGH TO STIMULATE THE

ECONOMY FOR THE CITIZENS
OF THIS COUNTRY.

Are we THAT Stupid?


YES, FOR ALLOWING THOSE IN THE U.S.. CONGRESS TO GET AWAY WITH DOING THIS YEAR AFTER YEAR!!!!!   

If this doesn’t bother you, then just delete the message.

If, on the other hand, it does raise the hair on the back of your neck, I hope you forward it to every legal resident in the United States.

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I think I’ve mentioned…oh…once or twice…that this is one of my favorite parts of the blog.  I just think that the concept is wonderful, people putting great words and quips to original pictures.  I’ve done several myself, mostly for work, that are very job centric that most people wouldn’t get if you weren’t in the business.  But, I’ll try and track down a few of mine for next week and see what you think.

product

I shall

hug

hold

hey lady

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”
She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
 
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
 
She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
 
I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.
 
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, “Colonel Sanders.” 
Guess where the fuck I am now…

5e

ISIS Threatens America: ‘We Will Raise The Flag Of Allah In The

White House’

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2014/08/08/isis-threatens-america-we-will-raise-the-flag-of-allah-in-the-white-house/#ixzz39q3ERjbx

Here’s the first part of the article.  You can read the rest by following the above link, and then my response is at the end.

The terror group President Barack Obama threatened to strike in Iraq Thursday evening is itself threatening to strike the American homeland.

“I say to America that the Islamic Caliphate has been established,” Abu Mosa, a spokesman for the terror group known as the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS), told VICE Media in a video interview posted online Thursday. “Don’t be cowards and attack us with drones. Instead send your soldiers, the ones we humiliated in Iraq.”

“We will humiliate them everywhere, God willing, and we will raise the flag of Allah in the White House,” he added.

Come ahead bitches!  Me and 300,000,000 (that’s three hundred Million) other gun owners would be more than happy to welcome your asses to the land of the free and the home of the brave.

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For instance…. Impish Dragon, Lethal Leprechaun and all of you!

 

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Obama signs $16 billion VA overhaul law

New law provides money for more hospitals, doctors, nurses

Author: By Drew Griffin, Scott Bronstein and Tom Cohen CNN

(CNN) –

Sally Barnes-Breen watched her father die while waiting months just to see a doctor at the dysfunctional Department of Veterans Affairs.

Now she says a bill signed into law on Thursday by President Barack Obama doesn’t hold accountable those responsible for what happened.  Of course it doesn’t hold anyone accountable. Accountability is responsibility and responsibility means adulthood, personal responsibility and all the rest of those things that this administration doesn’t have a clue about.  Everything is still Bush’s fault, and the entitlement generation is about wanting, not about responsibility. 

“They broke all the medical codes, when you swear on your oath,” she told CNN of the inability of her father, Navy veteran Thomas Breen, to get an appointment.  That’s because it’s not about medical codes.  Not anymore.  It’s pure and simple about money.  When you set up a bonus system that promotes manipulation of the system to make a monetary bonus, you encourage those people under the bonus system to do just that, play the system.  They were punished for pointing out their own short comings, so there was never any incentive to fix it, just an incentive to continue to manipulate the system, hide the back logs, and continue to collect their bonuses.

“Billions of dollars can’t fix the VA broken system,” she continued. “What’s going to fix (this) is if you criminalize people when they do wrong.”

The $16 billion measure doesn’t criminalize anybody.

It provides money to build more VA medical facilities and hire more doctors and nurses.

It includes more funds so some veterans can get health care in private facilities.

It also makes it easier to fire or otherwise discipline senior VA officials.

At the bill-signing at Fort Belvoir in northern Virginia, Obama said the package begins the changes needed to keep the nation’s promise of caring for its military veterans.

Obama: ‘Inexcusable conduct’

“Over the last few months, we’ve discovered some inexcusable conduct,” he said. “This is wrong. It’s outrageous.”

The law will help the VA system “keep pace with the demand” caused by veterans returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Obama said.

“This will not and cannot be the end of our efforts,” he said, adding that implementing the law “is going to take time.”  And there in lies the rub.  The law is going to take time to implement is a great way of saying that I get all the credit and the next guy has to figure out how to make it work, where to get the money from and how to help the Vets that Obama promised he would help, but doesn’t really have to help because, remember, I told you it was going to take time. 

Should it really take time to provide the proper care for our vets?  I think it can all be accomplished in a short amount of time.  Anyone who can’t be helped in a set amount of time has permission to go “down-town” for medical care and send the VA the bill.  See, no time at all.

But I bet it doesn’t work out that way.

Along with the increased hospitals and physicians, the measure will allow veterans in remote or rural areas more than 40 miles from facility and those unable to get care “in a reasonable amount of time” to see private doctors, Obama noted.

Congress approved the package just before going home for its August recess.

A CNN investigation that started in November uncovered excessive waits for veterans seeking health care. Subsequent reports revealed secret lists kept by some VA hospitals to hide the waiting periods and other management problems.

Dozens of veterans died while waiting for care.

The crisis led to the resignation of VA Secretary Eric Shinseki in May as well as congressional investigations.

The FBI has also joined an investigation by the VA inspector general’s office. The agency watchdog said Thursday its investigation of wrongdoing such as wait time manipulation had expanded to 92 VA medical facilities across the country.

New VA secretary

Last week, the Senate confirmed Robert McDonald as the agency’s new secretary.

The former business executive has promised to swiftly carry out reforms intended to speed up care for returning soldiers entering the VA system and eliminate bogus record-keeping.

Obama noted that the overhaul gives McDonald authority to remove leaders more easily, saying anyone who engaged in unethical practices or covered them up “should be fired, period.”

McDonald, who attended the signing, will begin visiting VA hospitals and clinics around the country starting Friday, beginning in Phoenix, Obama said.

Thomas Breen died in November 2013 after being repeatedly denied care at the Phoenix VA medical facility.

A month later came a call from the VA saying he had an appointment scheduled.

“I said, ‘Really, you’re a little too late, sweetheart,'” Breen’s daughter recalled earlier this year in a CNN interview.

I hope and pray that it all works out the way all of us wants.  I hope and pray that the vets get the help and medical care that they need and deserve.  But, it really will surprise me if it works out that way.

cheers3

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One Response to Dragon Laffs #1397

  1. Henry says:

    Come on people even us on fixed income made an donation.

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