Dragon Laffs #1353


Dragon Laffs 3

Good morning campers.  Grab a cup and take a seat.  Relax, drink your coffee and be 01Dragon coffee 2prepared to start your day off with a laugh.  I caution you…take a drink of coffee, THEN read.  If you do both at the same time I can’t be responsible for the ruining of laptops, keyboards, or computer screens from coffee being spit, shot out your nose or coughed out.  it is advised, STRONGLY, to have a towel or roll of paper towels handy.

I’ve started this Friday morning watching the news while sipping coffee and tippy tapping on my laptop here to you guys and in just a few short minutes of doing so I have heard several stories on the news that make me want to start handing out signs.  You remember Bill Lewis from the Redneck comedy tours?  Someone would do something stupid and he’d say, “Here’s your sign!”

Here’s a sample…

McDonald’s and other fast food feeders have hotline numbers to help their employees with getting on food stamps and other financial help because it is discovered that these types of jobs don’t pay enough for their employees to make a living.
Really?
Sliding open a glass window and asking, “You want fries with that?” doesn’t pay enough to support a family?
OF COURSE NOT!
Get a REAL job!
Not EVERY job is designed to make a living at.  As a past restaurant manager, food service is designed for part time students, second jobs, retirees and kids as a first job, we put up with those people, work around their schedules at school and having to have a last minute night off because their parents make them go to grandmas instead of teaching them responsibility by making them keep their commitments at work.
But support a family?
I think not!
So now what?  Are we going to get the ACLU involved?  Are they discriminating because they aren’t paying their employees a fair wage or giving them insurance or providing for their families?  These jobs were never meant for that.  The entire industry was based on an employee that didn’t require all that.
All people TRYING to support their families on those jobs because that’s all they can get?  Sadly,  yes.  But that’s not the fault of the industry, it’s the fault of … well … all of us and the country, I suppose.
People, we are letting them destroy our America…and if we don’t do something about itLate soon it will be too late!

So, lets go on to the funny stuff, shall we?

I hope everyone has had a great week.

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There was a mine in a small town that had completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar. “Hey bartender” said the Engineer, “I’ll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there.” The bartender responded, “I’m sorry sir but that guy’s a Chinaman and we don’t serve his kind around here.” “Well, you’d better because if it weren’t for that guy, I wouldn’t be here. You remember that mine that caved in, well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don’t believe me, look at the top of his head and you’ll see that it’s flat from holding the roof up.” The bartender skeptically served the ChinamanElephant Woof his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer: “I saw the flat spot on his head but I also couldn’t help noticing all the bruising under his chin. What’s that all about?” The engineer responded: “Oh… that’s where we put the jack.”

5a

coollogo_com_245942317On a recent trip to the Philippines, the President of the United States was visiting Manila and taking in the sights. He traveled throughout the city and was entertained by the artisans wherever he went. At one particularly interesting stop, he was impressed with Moothe ability of a young man who bent himself into the smallest of bundles and crammed himself into small boxes and pots, time and time again. “I simply have to know who that boy is,” the president said. “Sir,” his aide replied, “I’m surprised you don’t already know him. He’s the original Manila folder.”
And we couldn’t let a good groaner go without a groaner cartoon to go with it….

5bI tried to tell you… I really did.  I’m so sorry!
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DragonPapa1 (226)
a6
When Robin was teaching children she was taught to say, “Tell me about the picture you drew “not “What is it?” A young boy shared a picture of a boy (himself) with hismoo2 hand extended to the sides. In each hand stood a horse. When Robin asked the boy to tell about his drawing, he said, “My mother always tells me to hold my horses. That’s me holding my horses!”

A new stamp has come out commemorating the
Obama years!
5cI think the post office got this one just right!

A woman went shopping, at cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He couldn’t control his curiosity and asked, “Do you always carry your TV remote with you ?” She replied, “No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today, so …The shopkeeper smiles and takes back all the items that the lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper, What are you doing ?” He said, “Your husband has blocked your credit card.”

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f1h
When the Software industry had badly gone downhill, three software giants, Sun, SCO(UNIX), and Microsoft started producing condoms and named them Java-condom, CondomiX, and MS-Condoms Vista respectively. A customer using Java-condom complained to Sun that the condom didn’t fit correctly. Sun replied: “Wait till we get the ISO standard.” They boasted that it would fit any size irrespective of the underlying structure. Well, the customer switched to CondomiX and found that by the time he would finish reading the instructions given along with it, his wife would fall asleep, and he himself would forget why he was using CondomiX. Finally, he switched to MS-Condoms Vista. To his surprise it was so good….. and comfortable! He used it happily. Six months later, he found that his wife was pregnant. He got angry and complained to Microsoft. He got the following reply from Microsoft: A PATCH IS COMING SOON!

6HELL YES!!!

fight

People who are lucky to be alive….Russian Style:

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a169
a170
a171
a172
a173
a174

Having been and always will be a Toto fan, one of my all time favorite songs is here song acappello by the Slovenian group Perpetuum Jazzile.

6Yes, we are clever buggers. 
And we like to eat virgins.
And we get other people, i.e. terrified villagers, to stake out virgins for our enjoyment.
Clever, clever buggers!

hmmmm
Think About It.

According to the left wing zealots we have in politics…….
We’re not supposed to judge all Muslims by the acts of a few “crazies”.
But the acts of a few American “crazies” is enough to judge all Americans who own guns.

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beer
Determination
naughty
omgOkay, so you’re right…this one really should have been put under the “Groaner” category.  Sorry!

smarties
snickers

Okay, this was actually shown on Snopes.com and the question was asked whether it was real or not.  Shown on Russia’s got Talent, or Poland’s got Talent or some such.  What do you think?

And in case you haven’t figured it out on your own, the answer is no.  It’s not real.  They (snopes) believe it is an advertisement for the can of whatever it is that was put on the target’s head.

647Hell
Here’s a real nice video about Skidboot.  Probably the smartest dog anywhere…Very touching, so get your tissues ready

649

Impish: “Did you hear about the Obama administration scandal?
Lethal: “You mean the Mexican gun running?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “You mean SEAL Team 6?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “You mean the State Dept. lying about Benghazi?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “You mean voter fraud?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “You mean the military not getting their votes counted?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “The NSA monitoring our phone calls, e-mails and everything else?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “Giving ‘123 Technologies’ $300 Million right after it declared
bankruptcy and was sold to the Chinese?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “You mean the president arming the Muslim Brotherhood?”
Impish: “No the other one.”
Lethal: “The IRS targeting conservatives?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “The DOJ spying on the press?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “Sebelius shaking down health insurance executives?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “Giving SOLYNDRA $500 MILLION DOLLARS and 3 months, later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “The president’s ordering the release of nearly 10,000 illegal immigrants from jails and prisons, and falsely blaming the sequester?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “The president’s threat to impose gun control by Executive Order so as to bypass Congress?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “The president’s repeated violation of the law requiring him to
submit a budget no later than the first Monday in February?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “The 2012 vote where 115% of all registered voters in some counties voted 100% for Obama?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “The president’s unconstitutional recess appointments in an attempt to circumvent the Senate’s advise-and-consent role?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “The State Department interfering with an Inspector General’s investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “Clinton, the IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?”
Impish: “No, the other one.”
Lethal: “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I got it! You mean that 65 million low-information voters who don’t pay taxes and get free stuff from taxpayers and stuck us again with the most pandering, corrupt administration in American history?”
Impish: “Yes, that’s the one!”

648
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Another guest appearance by my buddy Wheats!  This guy is getting it right more often than not. 

Subject was Roger Simon’s article that the ACA (Affordable Care Act) will defund itself by virtue of few sign-ups.  The discussion below branched into the general dislike of RINO’s who have dismissed their constituents and simply voted to stay at the cool kids’ table.
 
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What I’m reading here is that everyone is in agreement that PP CACA (Private Payer) sucks. We all know it does and would very much prefer that our elected officials fight tooth & nail to get rid of it.

But I have been harping on something for years. It’s the “go along to get along” mentality that has invaded our collective psyche. There are those who have a natural “fight” born into them. A cynicism that detects and abhors poor administration, poor execution and poor sense.

But fewer and fewer people embrace that attitude because it has been carefully and quietly labeled as “negative thinking”. However, cynicism, of a certain style and shape is necessary for survival in any generation and any situation. In it’s most basic form, it’s suspicion of the schlocky used car salesman. In a more evolved form, it’s appropriate apprehension of a “something for nothing” situation, or one that appears benevolent but experience dictates caution.

But as to the last two, Americans have been forced to “go along to get along” in the workplace and in the social construct of society so as to “avoid conflict”.

This includes the military, when a bumbling commander is praised and further promoted because to draw attention, or even mention their ineptitude would damage one’s own chances at advancement. The argument being, “Sure, everyone sees it, but who’s gonna fall on their sword to point it out?” In other words, by criticizing policy openly, one runs the risk of destroying themselves.

However, this type of attitude, a cowardice if you will, is now deeply ingrained into American thinking. And, everyone who’s a worker-bee is equally miserable but here’s where it gets even more interesting: The absolute willingness to be satisfied with complete and utter defeat. The shrugging of the shoulders and saying, “Heh…what can I do? That’s the way it is. Nobody can do anything…we just have to put up with it.”

And so it goes. City hall robs you blind, takes your freedoms away and all you can do is roll over and let them apply themselves to every orifice you have. To me, that’s called LOSING.

And Americans have become accustomed to, and comfortable with, losing.

Losing in Vietnam. Losing in Korea. Losing in Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya.

Well, maybe not so much “comfortable” but afraid to desire and broadcast that we’d like to kick some ass and shut the world up for a change. Because committed national socialists will come out of the woodwork and excoriate and publicly execute with words anyone who flies the flag and is proud to be an American with American ideals.

We have entered an entirely dysfunctional situation brought on by years of reprimands for “negative thinking” and for having ideas that are “selfish”.

There’s a lot that statists and national socialists have in common, obviously but what’s NOT so obvious is the millions of willing accomplices they have who “go along to get along”; Who don’t want to “draw attention to themselves”; Who hide behind complacency.

Why? Because we have learned that raising your voice to the cubicle monkey at the DMV will get you removed by a state trooper, no matter how right you are; That complaining to authority only gets you microscoped by said authority instead of said authority actually taking their job seriously. Rather, they take it personally that you have no respect for them.

ROME, 63AD.Amen

How about a little love for brother Wheats!!!!!!

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One Response to Dragon Laffs #1353

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    AMEN WHEATS! Author! Author!
    and since liberals will whine about it if I don’t say it…
    AWOMAN Impish!
    There now we are equal, at least in exclamations of praise

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