Dragon Laff #1338


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Good Morning Campers!
Well, it’s that time of the year again.  Time to pay the bills.  The time of year that we hate, but have to go through.  We have worked very hard to keep this site ad free.  We spend extra money to give you, our beloved campers, the best product we can give you and all of this costs money.  Bandwidth ain’t cheap.
Every year you guys come through for us and we’ve been able to make up the excess ourselves.  As you know, and as you’ll read below (I know, since I wrote that a day or so ago and today I got the bill for the blog so had to add this lead in) this year is tougher.  I know, it’s tougher on a lot of us, but every little bit helps.  Check under your car seats. couch cushions, lint trap on the dryer, or anywhere you can think of.
Just click on the link on the right side of the web page (yes, you have to go to the web page at http://dragonlaffs.com) or the button with the dragon you will see right below and PayPal will walk you through it.
Thank you in advance to our loyal campers, readers, lurkers and fans.
Your generosity is GREATLY appreciated.

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(Original Lead in)

Well, it’s begun.  Lost my first day of work this week, plus working the weekend and not getting paid overtime.  Have to take an additional day off during the week to make up for it.  This sucks!  I can’t believe that the entire administration exempted themselves from the furlough days and losing the pay, continue to spend our money on vacations and bullshit like that, and I’m wondering if and how I’m going to make ends meet. 

I’m sure you all are sick and tired of hearing me bitch about this, but I just have to say, where’s the damn integrity?  Where’s the leading by example?  Mrs. Dragon and I are celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary on Monday, and being poor, working class people, we paid for our own wedding and didn’t have anything left over for a honeymoon. 

Water under the bridge.

But since that time, we’ve been able to take exactly zero vacations in our lives.  Now granted, a lot of that has to do with the fact that we are a single income family, and we’ve been dealing with medical issues for many years, but couldn’t any of them hold off on a couple of vacations for the better of the country?

Just a couple?

Anyway, we really need to laugh…a lot!  So, let’s get to it!

coollogo_com-213355198It would be so easy to take this next joke and substitute my name or Lethal’s name in order to poke fun, one at the other.  But, in this case it wouldn’t work. Neither one of us has an age limit.
LOL!

The 107-year-old man was asked by a television crew what was the secret of
his longevity.

“It’s because I gave up sex,” he said.

“When did you give up sex?” asked the reporter.

“Just about fifteen years ago.”

“I see,” said the reporter.  “And why did you give up sex?”

“I had to.  I like older women…and there weren’t any more left!”
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family’s only cow was lying dead in the field.

The situation looked hopeless to her — how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?  In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself.

When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.

Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank.

She said, “I’ve seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you.”

The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.

Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, “If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right.”

And while the son tried his best (seven times), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.

The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there he also met the mermaid. “I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row.”

The young son replied, “Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?”

The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, “Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?”

And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, “Why not THIRTY times in a row?”

Finally, she said, “Enough Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health.”

Then the young son asked, “Wait, how do I know that thirty times in a row won’t kill you like it did the cow?”

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DragonPapa1 (215)

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Sofar there have been no Democratic candidates who have
entered the race for Alabama Governor in 2014. Apparently
they first need to find an actual Democrat who still lives
in Alabama.

Sarah Palin heard Snowden was incognito so she demanded
we invade Incognito.


Areport says that Osama bin Laden was pulled over for speeding
in Pakistan while on the run but was not recognized by the
policeman. The question is how did he ever get that donkey
he was riding up to 35 mph?


The White House is refusing to say if a “coup” happened in Egypt.
Apparently a “coup” is when a country removes its own leader,
while it’s a “regime change” when we do it.

Rick Perry says he will not run for another term as Texas Governor.
He quoted the Bible in his speech, saying for everything there is a
season. He said there is spring, summer and he couldn’t remember
the third or fourth.

The shelf life of Twinkies has reportedly been increased to 45 days
from the old 26 days. Apparently that’s as long as supermarkets
want to keep them in stock after they have already sat in storage
at hostess for a quarter century.

The Supreme Court is being asked to review a leaked Verizon ruling
by a secretive intelligence court that gave the government access
to millions of private phone records. Apparently no one thinks there
would be any conflict between the high court and a court that
contains both the words “secretive” and “intelligence”.

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Back on January 9th, a group of bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge .
So they stopped.  George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, “Hey Baby…..whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?” She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”
While he didn’t want to appear “sensitive,” George also didn’t want to miss this “be-a-legend” opportunity either so he asked …”Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe…why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that … and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me.
“So tell me..why are you committing suicide?”
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”
It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

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See?  Nothing at ALL like me!  This drunken bastard, gives all us reptile type creatures a bad name!  Besides…. I can sing.

50

All I can say… WTF?

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breast feeding
evolution
home securityh
jock

Love

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a83Okay, this is just too damn scary!

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I knew the little bastards were up to something

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a99

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USAF Fighter Pilot Crisis

The following article was forwarded to me.  It was written by David Radcliffe and appeared in Jane’s Defense Weekly, 6 March 2013.  It asks why would anyone want to become a Fighter Pilot?  You know things are bad when there are 50 unfilled pilot slots from the Air Force Academy.

 Who wouldn’t want to be a US Air Force fighter pilot?  The notion of being a fighter pilot has always been the stuff of childhood dreams, but within the USAF the appeal is fading, argues David Radcliffe.

http://www.fighterpilotuniversity.com/wtfo/why-be-a-fighter-pilot Pete

Who wants to be a fighter pilot? If you asked the question 20 years ago, almost everyone would raise their hand, but today this is no longer the case.

The state of the US Air Force’s (USAF’s) fighter force and the morale of its airmen and women have been in a steady spiral of decline since Chief of Staff General Michael Moseley and Secretary of the Air Force Michael Wynne resigned at the behest of then Secretary of Defense Robert Gates in 2008.

So, who wouldn’t want to be a fighter pilot? Apparently at least 900 people as judged by the current training and retention shortage within the Air Force. The problem is so severe that there are currently 50 open pilot slots at the Air Force Academy and the USAF’s flying training syllabus is being cut by 18% to expedite candidates through the system. Further compounding this is the fact that just 45% of academy students are pilot qualified, down from the previous low of 70%.

While the USAF is not feeding the pipeline with enough new pilots, an even worse problem exists in that the service has fighter pilots leaving in large numbers, either exiting active- duty posts for the Air National Guard (ANG) or Reserves or just getting out completely. Many fighter pilots opt out of the cockpit role due to back-to- back operational cycles and are actually asking for a staff job to build résumés for their next career. There are currently 100 Air Mobility Command pilots in fighter staff jobs due to the shortage of qualified fighter pilots to fill these posts.

‘Pilots are getting little flying time… This is not

what they signed up for’

Indeed, more than 50% of US pilot training candidates do not want fighter assignments; they want transport or cargo assignments to prepare them for a career in the airlines. There is a definite shift away from anything that has long-service commitments, demanding training, or regular deployments. This is made even worse by the airlines facing the “most acute short-age of pilots since the 1960s”, as recently reported in the Wall Street Journal. A high-ranking friend of mine recently told me this situation is now “scary”.

That the Federal Aviation Administration is considering a rule allowing commercial pilots at 1,500 hours flight time but military pilots at 750 hours only exacerbates the problem.

So why are trainee pilots shunning the fast jet community? The post-2008 ‘Qweep’, or career- broadening requirements, are a huge cause. This requires pilots to get their master’s degree, have community involvement, etc., on top of deployment, training, and platform-centric requirements. The USAF has even instituted the Director of Operations Screening Boards and openly says that those not being promoted early are not considered for further enhancement. Thus, in the active-duty Air Force career broadening needs to be complete in order to compete. Those not selected are, in many cases, simply headed in the direction of the ANG or out of the active-duty Air Force between the 8 to 11 year  mark. A friend of mine in the ANG calls active- duty career broadening the best recruiting tool he has to get pilots to join the guard, as the premium is placed on that and not how capable and proficient the pilot is.

A recent deployment had one fighter squadron augmenting another with 10 pilots. It is hard to believe that one squadron could be that many pilots short. The augmenting squadron had just returned from its own deployment and one of the three pilots who spoke to me said that he is to leave as soon as possible and that the fighter community is a mess.Pilots are getting little flying time: eight to nine sorties a month, although in Europe, with poor weather and no ranges, it is down to two to three sorties with four to five simulator rides. This is not what they signed up for. This low flight time and the impacts of sequestration, which could further cut flight hours and training, could put the force at risk and contribute to future incidents similar to the Aviano Air Base F-16 crash on 28 January that resulted in the death of the pilot.

So what has happened to every kid’s dream job? No matter what anyone says about the new career-broadening activities and other such ‘opportunities’, the fact is that the trend as it relates to pilot retention is headed the wrong way. Even the ‘Home Of The Fighter Pilot’ sign on the front gate at Nellis Air Force Base has been removed, damaging pilot morale even further.

The job of the fighter pilot is to defend the country, and it is not clear how that mission is being served by the current situation. As long as we have a volunteer force, the feelings of those volunteers matter. The USAF’s greatest strength is its people. Many nations have the same or newer variants of the aircraft flown by the United States, but none can come close to employing them in the same integrated manner. It is time to take care of our greatest resource and to address its concerns and needs.

David Radcliffe is an Air Power Advocate with the Air Force Association and a member of the Nellis Support Team: a non-profit organization formed and organized to support Nellis and Creech Air Force Base personnel, activities and operations.

I’ll be honest, I was very leery of the accuracy and validity of this article.  So, I took the time to find the issue of Jane’s that it was referenced and yup, there it was, right in front of me!  Word for word.  So, having seen the truth of it, I have to say that I am horrified…HORRIFIED!!! to find out that things are as bad in MY Air Force as all that.  I mea, I knew it was bad, but not this bad.

And it seems that the touchy-feely bullshit that this administration and it’s political correctness is the culprit.  Throw sequestration in on top of that and…perfect mixture for what we see here.

Unbelievable!

cheers3

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4 Responses to Dragon Laff #1338

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    As far as having no age limit goes- speak only for yourself Impish!
    Diapers & Depends are a complete turn off as far as I’m concerned
    I try to stay between 21 & 60 ± 5 years in extremely attractive (physically or financially) situations.

  2. The Retired Dingo says:

    Happy Anniversary to you and the Mrs. Dragon!!!!!!!!!

  3. hdclark says:

    Happy 18th Anniversary.

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