Dragon Laffs #1333


Header69
Good Morning Campers!
How’s everyone doing this morning?
Good, good.  I’m glad to hear it…what’s that?
Yeah, you in the back?
Uh huh…
Uh huh…
I’m really sorry …
Uh huh…
But..
Uh huh…
Okay.  Listen!  I don’t care if you have a zit on your chin, your bicycle tire is flat and your mom doesn’t understand you, I was not interested…
Hey!  You’re not over 18 anyway, what the hell … or .. um heck…what in the heck are you doing here, anyway?  Whose kid is this?  Come one!  Who does he belong to?
You!
There!
In the back, trying to sneak out!
Whose got Sargent at Arms duty this morning?
Get him and his kid outta here!
Sheesh!
Anyone else got any damn problems?
GOOD!
Let’s get this thing started,  now that my whole mood is ruined.
Where’s my friggin’ coffee?

coollogo_com-213355198_thumb4
Let’s start today’s issue with an adorable video.  I won’t tell you more than that, but let you find out for yourself.  But remember, you must go to the website to view the videos.  http://dragonlaffs.com

538

HOW TO NOT FALL OFF THE BUS

A Safety tip for Seniors:

As I get older I realize that life seems to be flying by and with that said I need to step up and help others more . I have thought that it would be great to try to offer a piece of good advice or even a good quote or message for the day .  So here goes my first valued tip and public service message.  I call this message;

  HOW TO HOLD ON AND NOT FALL ON THE BUS.

12You’re Welcome.

coollogo_com-26562107_thumb1
d2013052401
Poetry1

He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.

Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.

And ‘tho sometimes to his neighbors
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew where of he spoke.

But we’ll hear his tales no longer,
For ol’ Joe has passed away,
And the world’s a little poorer
For a Soldier died today.

He won’t be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.

He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won’t note his passing,
‘Tho a Soldier died today.

When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.

Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young
But the passing of a Soldier
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Some jerk who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?

Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?

The politician’s stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.

While the ordinary Soldier,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.

It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever waffling stand?

Or would you want a Soldier
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Soldier,
Who would fight until the end.

He was just a common Soldier,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his likes again.

For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Soldier’s part
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honor
While he’s here to hear the praise,
Then at least let’s give him homage
At the ending of his days.

Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
“OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
A SOLDIER DIED TODAY.”

539

I KNOW MANY OF YOU (LIKE ME)
ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO
FOOTBALL SEASON. WELL, HERE’S A
LITTLE RECAP OF LAST Season……… 
 

Coincidence?
 
Just wondering!
 
Alabama beat Arkansas
and they fired the coach.
 
Alabama beat Tennessee
and they fired the coach.
 
Alabama beat Auburn
and they fired the coach.
 
Then Alabama beat Notre Dame and the Pope resigns…
 
Damn, I wish the White House had a team.

coollogo_com-213502075_thumb1
11
Okay, so I guess it’s just that day for adorable videos, here’s another one you’ll truly enjoy…and remember, you have to go to the website to view the videos. http://dragonlaffs.com

14

13

coollogo_com-213502147_thumb1
irony
meanwhile
no mom
org
other
pair
pray

The American Indian TeePee Counsel has requested that the NFL disassociate itself with Indian Names.
 
Effective immediately, The Washington Redskins will  change its name to the Washington Foreskins
in honor of all the pricks in Washington D.C.

Man, it really sucks getting old…….15

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.”
He replied, “That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.”
So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very
nice resort.  One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his
towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer,
entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple.  This was followed by a
three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut
the water like a knife.  After a few more demonstrations, he came back and
lay down on his towel.
She said, “That was incredible!”
He said, “I used to be an Olympic diving champion.  You see, I told you we’d
learn more about each other as we went along.”
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps.  She was moving
so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly
be gone before she was already touching the other end.  She did laps in
freestyle, breast-stroke, even butterfly!  After about thirty laps, completed
in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely
breathing heavy.
He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”
No, she said, “I was a hooker in Fort Worth and I worked both sides of the Trinity river.”.

coollogo_com-213355755_thumb2
a68
a69
a70
a71
a72

 

 

What Aisle is the Polish Sausage in?

 

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘prejudice’ these days…………….

A customer asked, “In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?”

The clerk asks, “Are you Polish?”

The guy , clearly offended, says, “Yes I am. But let me ask you something.

If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”

The clerk says, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”

The guy says, “Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I’m Polish?”

The clerk replied, “Because you’re in Home Depot.”

540

And yet, another great video, this guy’s got skills I want to learn!

541

 

WHAT IS THE WICHITA PICKOFF?

This high school baseball team has been watching too much “Little Big League!” They try out the famous Wichita Pickoff trick play and to everyone’s surprise, it works like a charm. Of course, no one was more surprised than the baserunner.

Southaven P Wyatt Short fakes the pickoff throw drawing the Harrison Central baserunner off the base for a crucial out in the 7th of Game 1 of the MHSAA Class 6A Championship Series.

542

Okay, since this issue seems to be going “that” way, here’s another video that ought to touch your heart.

543

Rumors are circulating in CA that radical Muslims are planning to go on a rampage in Los Angeles, killing anyone who is white and born in the U.S.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 23.

Last-Word4_thumb1
Thanks to my Dad for this GREAT ONE! 

A HARD WAY FOR THOSE  LIBERAL DEMOCRATS TO LEARN A LESSON ABOUT AMERICAN  FREEDOM AND THE  CONSTITUTION. RIGHT IN THE OLD POCKET BOOK.

IN ADDITION TO THE BELOW,  MAGPUL IS MOVING ITS ENTIRE MANUFACTURING OUT OF COLORADO . WELLINGTON KANSAS  HAS OFFERED THEM FREE LAND ON WHICH TO BUILD A NEW FACTORY AND NO TAXES FOR 10  YEARS. IT WILL COST COLROADO 300 JOBS.

The implications of the push  for stringent gun laws forces liberals into the light of reality from time to  time. Here is a good example.    Read & share. Remember,  the news is up to us…it won’t come from the national media!

OUTDOOR CHANNEL PULLS PRODUCTION FROM COLORADO  DUE TO CO SENATE BETRAYING 2ND AMENDMENT RIGHTS!

From: Michael Bane
Date: Tue, Mar 5, 2013 at 4:09  PM
Subject: OUTDOOR CHANNEL Pulls Productions from  Colorado
To: Steve King

Dear Senator  King;

I met you yesterday after the  so-called “public hearings” on the anti-gun bills; as I mentioned, I am an  Executive Producer for OUTDOOR CHANNEL. I currently have four series in  production, including GUN STORIES, the top show on OC, with several additional  series in development. My series focus on guns, hunting, shooting and the  outdoors.

This morning I met with my  three Producers, and we made the decision that if these anti-gun bills become  law, we will be moving all of our production OUT of Colorado . We have already  canceled a scheduled filming session for
late this month. Obviously, part of  this is due to our own commitment to the right to keep and bear arms, but it  also reflects 3 lawyers’ opinions that these laws are so poorly drafted and so  designed to trap otherwise legal
citizens into a crime (one of our attorneys  referred to them as “flypaper laws”) that it is simply too dangerous for us to  film here.

I can give you chapter and  verse on the legal implications if you need, but suffice to say that the first  legal opinion was so scary we went out and got two others. All three attorneys  agreed.

We are relatively small  potatoes in television, but our relocation of production will cost Colorado a  little less than a million dollars in 2013.

Secondly, we have  proudly promoted Colorado in our productions (and have been moving more and  more production into the state); now we will do exactly the opposite. What  does this mean for Colorado ? The community of television producers is a small  one. Last week I had lunch with a major network producer who was looking to  locate his new reality series in Colorado . That producer is also a shooter,  and the new reality series will now be based out of Phoenix . That lunch cost  Colorado over a million in economic impact.

Thirdly, according to  numbers I received from the National Shooting Sports Foundation (for whom I  used to work) yesterday, hunting had an almost $800,000,000 impact on Colorado  in 2012, driving as many as 8330 jobs. Next
month I will be in Texas meeting  with most of the top outdoor/hunting producers, and the Number One agenda item  will be Colorado . Already, hunting organizations and statewide hunting clubs  around the country are pulling out of Colorado , and we expect this trend to  accelerate rapidly.

The message we will take to  our viewers and listeners is that these proposed laws are so dangerous to  hunters and any other person, be she a fisherman or a skier who brings a  handgun into the state for self-defense, that we
cannot recommend hunting,  fishing or visiting Colorado. We reach millions of people, and, quite frankly,  we have a credibility that Colorado government officials can no longer match.  Colorado Division of Wildlife is already running ads trying to bring more  out-of-state hunters to Colorado…in light of the flood of negative publicity  about these proposed laws, I can assure you those ads will fail.

We estimate that as many as  one-quarter to one-third of out-of-state hunters will desert Colorado in the  next 18-24 months, which will quite frankly be a disaster for the hunting  industry in Colorado and have a devastating effect on our western and northern  communities (certainly cities like Grand Junction).

This is not a “boycott” in the  traditional sense of a centralized, organized operation; rather, it is more of  a grassroots decision on where shooters, hunters and other sportsmen are  willing to spend their money. Look at the
collapse of the Eastern Sports and  Outdoor Show in February. That venerable multimillion dollar trade show chose  to ban modern sporting rifles and standard capacity magazines, and within  three weeks it collapsed as all vendors and sponsors pulled  out.

Colorado is going to pay a  huge price for laws that will do nothing. Thank you, sir, for your  support.

Best.

Michael Bane

OUTDOOR CHANNEL  _mbane@outdoorchannel.com_

(http://us.mc1634.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=mbane@outdoorchannel.com

IT BEGINS…. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO ALL ON  YOUR ADDRESS LIST… THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO BEAT PROGRESSIVES!! SHOW THESE  SOCIALISTS THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR  STUPIDITY.

The stupidity of gun control laws is overwhelming.  The only guns that are controlled are those of upstanding, law-abiding Americans who are only trying to protect themselves from the criminals who won’t obey the laws, anyway.  All they do is make easier targets for the bad guys.  It’s obvious the government’s goal is to disarm the citizens.  And the reason they are doing that?  They are afraid.  The socialist agenda calls for the government to control us…and they can’t do that if we are armed.  One more reason to express the opinion that…
cold dead hands
coollogo_com-146614964_thumb1

coollogo_com-244821650_thumb4

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Dragon Laffs #1333

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    You forgot your glasses you won’t be able to hit the broad side of a…well…Dragon frankly.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s