Leprechaun Laughs #175 for Saturday January 5th 2013


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 Yes terrible cold and nasty weather were having.

Yup shaping up to be a rotten cold & flu season too.

You’re right pain index for those of us with weather related aches and pains has been high way too many days. In fact, those are all the reasons you’re seeing my unsmiling unshaven visage this morning rather than Impish’s.

He’s been feeling poorly enough that getting his issue finished for today was just one bridge too far for him this week. Fortunately one of my resolutions was to try and get back to working an issue ahead incase of unforeseen events (i.e.. Impish asking me at 2PM on Friday to cover his Saturday issue ‘cause he just wants to go curl up on his gold pile ands whimper in pain and under the weather misery)

Okay now that we got the obligatory chit-chat  and yadda-yadda-yadda ticked off on everyone’s ‘Socializing Chat List” can I got back to bed while you people get on with the issue?

I’m cold, cranky and this weather aside from making me act like a bear makes me wish I could hibernate like one until spring. Besides being able to catch up on a lot of missed and lost sleep I’d be able to escape the aches and pains brought on by the cold damp weather plus wake up 40 or 50 pounds lighter which makes the thought a win/win from my point of view.

You’re on your best behavior now! Check out the issue, quietly. When your done, the last reader out please turn off the coffee pot, also the lights and lock the door but don’t slam it or you’ll annoy both Impish and myself!

 

 Opening Logo 17

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Cat Haiku

Negotiating
No-man’s land: carpet alive
Flea season again

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand
New rule tomorrow

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere
Will find in morning

Cat, fearless hunter
Leaves ‘presents’ for me near door
Next time I’ll wear shoes

ginasangsHN-11

Grace personified,
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Night. Now come night-mice.
I chase them ’round on loud feet.
You can’t see them too?

Blur of motion, then —
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

You never feed me.
Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds —
Your foot just squashed one

cat_cartoon

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
Elevator butt.

You’re always typing.
Well, let’s see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What’s a ‘term paper’?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don’t leave tarp around

CATBirthdayBizarro02-22-10

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws?
Don’t even think about it!
My yelps will wake dead.

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
Inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
Has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

simonscat

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren’t that sharp …

Cats meow out of angst
“Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!”

Litter box not here
You must have moved it again
I’ll crap in the sink.

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for “Cup Hockey”.

Hair hanging, straight, long
One of my favorite things
Female visitors.

catmeds2

I seek new places
Cupboard doors hide secret realms
Meow when I get stuck.

I like to roll dice
From the box, one at a time
I will steal them all.

James has a squirt gun
When I eat the plant, he shoots
I wait till he leaves.

We’re almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

The food in my bowl
Is old and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

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So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle’s closer.

There’s no dignity
In being sick – which is why
I don’t tell you where.

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow’s taken.

catnaps2

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I’ve lost interest.

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.

My affection is
Conditional. Don’t stand up
It’s your lap I love.

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Cats can’t steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail’s
Pulled again, I’ll learn.

I don’t mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

So you call this thing
Your “cat carrier.” I call
These my “blades of death.”

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I’m convinced:
You’re an idiot.

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What!  How’d??! AWW DAMN IT TO HELL!

IMPISH!! I TOLD you your ‘pet friends’ from the Kitty Cat Club

 ARE NOT real cats!

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Cold & Flu Season if it has not already arrived in your area will be very shortly I’m sure. Molly came home from our Christmas visit to her family with a nice case of the sinus crud courtesy of a relative who was just getting over it and too much family closeness. So today since we’ve all eaten and drank to excess for 2 weeks instead of new tempting recipes to try we’re going to talk about foods to include in your diet to help keep you healthy.

9 Power Foods That Boost Immunity

You’re washing your hands, using Purell like crazy, and sneezing into your shirtsleeves. Now add these superfoods to your family’s meals for extra flu-fighting punch.

By Amanda MacMillan and Tamara Schryver, RD

Foods that Fight Illness


It takes more than an apple a day to keep the doctor away. It turns out that eating some pretty surprising nutrients will help keep your immune system on guard.

You can ensure your body and immunity run smoothly by rounding out your plate with plenty of colorful servings of fruits and veggies, plus 8 to 10 glasses of water a day, at the very least. The following ingredients can add extra flu-fighting punch to your winter meal plan.

1. Yogurt

Probiotics, or the “live active cultures” found in yogurt, are healthy bacteria that keep the gut and intestinal tract free of disease-causing germs. Although they’re available in supplement form, a study from the University of Vienna in Austria found that a daily 7-ounce dose of yogurt was just as effective in boosting immunity as popping pills. In an 80-day Swedish study of 181 factory employees, those who drank a daily supplement of Lactobacillus reuteri–a specific probiotic that appears to stimulate white blood cells–took 33% fewer sick days than those given a placebo. Any yogurt with a Live and Active Cultures seal contains some beneficial bugs, but Stonyfield Farm is the only US brand that contains this specific strain.

Your optimal dose: Two 6-ounce servings a day.

Healthy Yogurt Recipes

2. Oats and Barley

These grains contain beta-glucan, a type of fiber with antimicrobial and antioxidant capabilities more potent than echinacea, reports a Norwegian study. When animals eat this compound, they’re less likely to contract influenza, herpes, even anthrax; in humans, it boosts immunity, speeds wound healing, and may help antibiotics work better.

Your optimal dose: At least one in your three daily servings of whole grains.

You’re washing your hands, using Purell like crazy, and sneezing into your shirtsleeves. Now add these superfoods to your family’s meals for extra flu-fighting punch.

3. Garlic

This potent onion relative contains the active ingredient allicin, which fights infection and bacteria. British researchers gave 146 people either a placebo or a garlic extract for 12 weeks; the garlic takers were two-thirds less likely to catch a cold. Other studies suggest that garlic lovers who chow more than six cloves a week have a 30% lower rate of colorectal cancer and a 50% lower rate of stomach cancer.

Your optimal dose: Two raw cloves a day and add crushed garlic to your cooking several times a week.

4. Fish

Selenium, plentiful in shellfish such as oysters, lobsters, crabs, and clams, helps white blood cells produce cytokines-proteins that help clear flu viruses out of the body. Salmon, mackerel, and herring are rich in omega-3 fats, which reduce inflammation, increasing airflow and protecting lungs from colds and respiratory infections.

Your optimal dose: Two servings a week (unless you’re pregnant or planning to be).

5. Chicken Soup

When University of Nebraska researchers tested 13 brands, they found that all but one (chicken-flavored ramen noodles) blocked the migration of inflammatory white cells-an important finding, because cold symptoms are a response to the cells’ accumulation in the bronchial tubes. The amino acid cysteine, released from chicken during cooking, chemically resembles the bronchitis drug acetylcysteine, which may explain the results. The soup’s salty broth keeps mucus thin the same way cough medicines do. Added spices, such as garlic and onions, can increase soup’s immune-boosting power.

Your optimal dose: Have a bowl when feeling crummy.

6. Tea

People who drank 5 cups a day of black tea for 2 weeks had 10 times more virus-fighting interferon in their blood than others who drank a placebo hot drink, in a Harvard study. The amino acid that’s responsible for this immune boost, L-theanine, is abundant in both black and green tea–decaf versions have it, too.

Your optimal dose: Several cups daily. To get up to five times more antioxidants from your tea bags, bob them up and down while you brew.

7. Beef

Zinc deficiency is one of the most common nutritional shortfalls among American adults, especially for vegetarians and those who’ve cut back on beef, a prime source of this immunity-bolstering mineral. And that’s unfortunate, because even mild zinc deficiency can increase your risk of infection. Zinc in your diet is very important for the development of white blood cells, the intrepid immune system cells that recognize and destroy invading bacteria, viruses, and assorted other bad guys, says William Boisvert, PhD, an expert in nutrition and immunity at The Scripps Research Institute in La Jolla, CA.

Your optimal dose: A 3-oz serving of lean beef provides about 30 percent of the Daily Value (DV) for zinc. That’s often enough to make the difference between deficient and sufficient. Not a beef person? Try zinc-rich oysters, fortified cereals, pork, poultry, yogurt, or milk.

8. Sweet Potatoes

You may not think of skin as part of your immune system. But this crucial organ, covering an impressive 16 square feet, serves as a first-line fortress against bacteria, viruses, and other undesirables. To stay strong and healthy, your skin needs vitamin A. “Vitamin A plays a major role in the production of connective tissue, a key component of skin,” explains Prevention advisor David Katz, MD, director of the Yale-Griffin Prevention Research Center in Derby, CT. One of the best ways to get vitamin A into your diet is from foods containing beta-carotene (like sweet potatoes), which your body turns into vitamin A.

Your optimal dose: A half-cup serving, which delivers only 170 calories but 40 percent of the DV of vitamin A as beta-carotene. They’re so good, you might want to save them for dessert! Think orange when looking for other foods rich in beta-carotene: carrots, squash, canned pumpkin, and cantaloupe.

9. Mushrooms

For centuries, people around the world have turned to mushrooms for a healthy immune system. Contemporary researchers now know why. “Studies show that mushrooms increase the production and activity of white blood cells, making them more aggressive. This is a good thing when you have an infection,” says Douglas Schar, DipPhyt, MCPP, MNIMH, director of the Institute of Herbal Medicine in Washington, DC.

Your optimal dose: Shiitake, maitake, and reishi mushrooms appear to pack the biggest immunity punch; experts recommend at least ¼ ounce to an ounce a few times a day for maximum immune benefits. Add a handful to pasta sauce, saute with a little oil and add to eggs, or heap triple-decker style on a frozen pizza.

OK! OK! You’re right! Man cannot survive on healthy eating alone! (I mean he CAN but what’s the point?) Here’s a little decadent desert for after you’ve eaten all your healthy stuff

Better Than Sex Cake

“Need I say more?”

 

7 Reviews

Prep Time: 10 mins

  • Total Time: 45 mins
  • Servings: 12

Ingredients

    • 10 1/4 ounces German chocolate cake mix
    • 1 1/4 cups water
    • 1/3 cup oil
    • 3 eggs
    • 1 (14 ounce) cans sweetened condensed milk
    • 1 (16 ounce) jars caramel topping ( OR butterscotch topping)
    • 8 ounces Cool Whip
    • 1 (8 ounce) bags toffee pieces ( or bits)

Directions

  1. Pre-heat oven to 350.
  2. Make and bake cake as directed on package in a 9 x 13 pan.
  3. Poke top of warm cake every 1/2″ with handle of wooden spoon.
  4. Drizzle sweetened condensed milk evenly over cake and let stand until milk has absorbed into cake.
  5. Drizzle with caramel or butterscotch topping.
  6. Run knife around sides of pan to loosen cake.
  7. Cover and refrigerate about 2 hours or until cake has chilled.
  8. Spread cool whip over top of cake.
  9. Sprinkle with toffee chips.
  10. Store cake covered, in the refrigerator.

 

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Connecticut attorney aims to sue state after Newtown massacre

NEW HAVEN, Conn. –  A New Haven attorney is asking permission to sue the state for $100 million on behalf of a student who survived the mass shooting at a Newtown school.

The Hartford Courant reports (http://cour.at/Tvo5v9) that attorney Irving Pinsky filed notice Thursday with Claims Commissioner J. Paul Vance Jr. The state has immunity against most lawsuits unless permission to sue is granted.

Pinsky said the 6-year-old student, identified as “Jill Doe,” was in her classroom at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Dec. 14 when “the horrific confrontation” with Adam Lanza came over the loudspeaker.

Lanza killed 20 first grade students and six adult staffers at the school before killing himself.

Pinsky said the student has been traumatized by the killings, and accused the state of failing to protect students from “foreseeable harm.”

Pinsky Fields Death Threats Over Newtown

by Paul Bass | Jan 1, 2013 2:29 pm

More than 50 people have threatened to harm Irv Pinsky since he filed notice that he plans to sue the state in connection with the Newtown massacre, the New Haven lawyer said Tuesday.

Bill O’Reilly’s Fox TV program and others have called, too, asking him to appear on national TV, Pinsky said. He’s not heeding them either.

Why? He wants to avoid adding to the “divisiveness” that has erupted since he took the debate over the Newtown massacre into the legal realm, Pinsky said.

Pinsky made those remarks in a New Year’s Day interview with the Independent four days after he filed notice with the state claims commissioner that he wants to file a $100 million state claim on behalf of a client, a 6-year-old who heard the “cursing, screaming and shooting” inside Sandy Hook Elementary School when a gunman massacred schoolchildren on Dec. 14. Read about his legal filing here.

Pinsky Tuesday said he was in the process of withdrawing the filing for now in order to “calm the divisiveness and tremors.” But he said he had reserved all rights to refile the request based on some “new evidence” he has received.

Pinsky reported that his phone has been ringing with hostile threats from strangers around the country. They’ve also posted nasty remarks on his Facebook page, among other places on the web.

He estimated that well over 50 of the calls have involved death threats. Typically someone threatens “shooting,” Pinsky said.

He made a distinction between those threats of physical violence and others that fall short of violence: For example, other people have called or written to tell him, “I want to shit on you,” according to Pinsky.

“I get them from Texas, Alabama, Georgia. I get them from Connecticut too,” Pinsky said. “I’m sick of it.

When I represented Occupy [New Haven], I got the same thing on a smaller scale. You read the right-wing comments every day.”

Along with the threats have come an outpouring of just plain criticism, like this one posted on his Facebook page Tuesday by Rich Evans: “Irv, I always knew you are a bit wacky and enjoy the spot light but you have gone too far with suing CT over Newtown. You don’t have a horse in the race and you are nothing but an opportunist seeking notoriety using dead children.”

He also received messages of support like this one posted Saturday by Christine Klezun Ladewig: “Sometimes parting with money is the only language that governments understand. I hope that what will come out of this is that no other child or parent ever have to go through this again. We should feel safe sending our babies to school. I don’t for a minute believe you are doing this for the money and hope that some of it can go into a scholarship fund. Blessings to you Irv!”

Pinsky was asked how he feels getting threatened and hammered nationwide.

“The way I look at it is,” he responded, “if I get 1,000 death threats, that’s like one-one-hundredth of 1 percent of the people in the world. If I get 10,000 that’s way, way under 1 percent. That 1 percent is probably writing letters to Obama every day and Hillary every day and calling the White House and saying the same things but using a little less violence in their words to avoid the presidential death threat law.”

His legal filing made international news after first being reported in the Independent and CT News Junkie Friday afternoon. Since then CBS and Fox News, among others, have called asking him to appear on national television, Pinsky said. He said he decided not to milk the opportunity.

“I turned down Bill O’Reilly. I don’t like all the fuel on the fire. I don’t like the divisiveness with which America is being riven. It’s been riven before. Remember the Civil War? I remember Vietnam. I don’t to add to the divisiveness,” Pinsky said.

[See a CNN Live Interview with Pinsky by clicking here]

Jepsen Criticizes Filing

A more moderate criticism of Pinsky came from Connecticut’s top lawyer, state Attorney General George Jepsen. Jepsen, whose office would have to represent the state in an eventual lawsuit, issued a release Monday calling Pinsky’s filing without merit.

“Our hearts go out to this family, and to all the children and families affected by the Newtown shootings. They deserve a thoughtful and deliberate examination of the causes of this tragedy and of the appropriate public policy responses. However, the Office of the Claims Commissioner is not the appropriate venue for that important and complex discussion,” the statement argued.

http://www.newhavenindependent.org/index.php/archives/entry/pinskyd_eath_threats/

Lawyer behind Newtown claim says meant to prevent future attacks

(Reuters) – The lawyer who filed and then quickly withdrew a $100 million legal claim against the state of Connecticut in the wake of the deadly Newtown elementary school shooting said on Wednesday his motive in the case is to prevent future school massacres and that he continues to investigate evidence for a future claim.

New Haven, Connecticut-based attorney Irving Pinsky, appearing on CNN, said his job is “to stop this happening again.” [this guy is a Personal Injury Lawyer]

“It hurts me, but I know it’s coming,” Pinsky said, referring to the likelihood of a future attack on a school.

Pinsky, hired by the family of an unidentified six-year-old girl who survived the attack, said 20-year-old Adam Lanza’s assault was a foreseeable event and officials failed to prevent it. Lanza’s December 14 massacre left 20 first graders and six staff members dead at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, the second deadliest school shooting in U.S. history.

“It had to be assumed that this was going to happen somewhere, sometime,” Pinsky said.

When pressed with indications that Sandy Hook Principal Dawn Hochsprung, who was killed in the attack, had recently increased security measures, which appears to have forced Lanza to shoot his way through the main doors to gain entry to the school, Pinsky replied the entrance was supposed to be constructed of bulletproof glass

To read more of this click here

Now my comments here are going to seem a bit reserved and circumspect as opposed to my normal frank out pouring of thoughts and feelings about such an individual and their actions. That is because yesterday I happened to run into my lawyer headed out to lunch as I was leaving the same downtown building as him. We had not seen each other in a bit and decided to ‘do lunch’ and catch up at a place neither of is is allowed to go to by our wives unescorted- Katz’s Deli.

He’s also an occasional reader of DL/LL, usually when something big is going on news wise to see our take(s) on the situation. When I mentioned yesterday that he might want to read this weeks issue because I was fixing to grill one of his Connecticut brethren for his conduct he about choked on his  noodle Kugel. He put down his Corn Beef sandwich (not an easy thing to pick back up once you have attacked a half of the sandwich) looked me straight in the eye and warned me to keep my mouth shut on the issue of the lawyer attempting to sue the State of Connecticut over the Newtown tragedy. He paused for a sip of his excellent Egg Cream before adding, but barring that be very very careful with what I said or he’d shortly be billing me for defense of libel and slander charges as lawyers live for lawsuits.

So while I cannot express my outrage and distain for Mr. Pinsky, his actions or the impression said actions give me of his moral and professional ethics, I can call your attention to the red highlighted key passages in the articles above. I can also report to you 2 things which are not being covered by the media, facts  of public record relating to Mr. Pinsky.

Should you feel the need to express your personal distain for his actions MR. Pinsky can be reached at:

Law Offices of Irving J. Pinsky, PC   114 Sherman Ave.

New Haven, CT 06511  Phone:(203) 288-6763

Type of Law Practiced: Personal Injury

www.facebook.com/irving.pinsky

and I can also report the fact that:

This lawyer has been twice disciplined by a state licensing authority.

Attorney Irving Pinsky Lost His Law License Once, Here’s Why

It turns out he lost his Connecticut license from 5/1/2003 to 12/15/2006. He was also reprimanded May 1, 1989, case #87-0561.

The grievance that cost him his license can be found here.

The linked report is the proposed decision from the “STATEWIDE GRIEVANCE COMMITTEE, Mia Griffin, Complainant vs. Irving J. Pinsky, Respondent, Grievance Complaint #95-0215. He violated professional rules of conduct according to the decision. though he continued to practice under a New York license.

The misconduct allegation states that Pinsky, the Respondent, gave the complainant, a minor, $6000 regarding her suit, wouldn’t give her information about her case, had her sign a general release, and in the end, he might have lied when he said he gave the complainant the money after the statute of limitations:

[Emboldened words are mine for the sake of readability]

In or around 1989 the Complainant’s father engaged the Respondent to represent the Complainant in connection with injuries sustained in a 1989 bus accident. At the time the Respondent was engaged, the Complainant was a minor. During the course of the representation, the Complainant approached the Respondent for financial assistance.

The Respondent provided the Complainant with funds totaling approximately $6,000.00.

The Complainant requested information from the Respondent regarding the status of the case. The Respondent did not comply with the Complainant’s request for information. The Respondent did not keep the Complainant reasonably informed regarding the status of the case.

The Respondent attempted to limit his liability to the Complainant by having the Complainant sign a general release dated September 16, 1994. The Respondent did not advise the Complainant to consult with independent counsel before signing the general release.

After the filing of the grievance complaint, the Respondent contacted the Complainant and requested that the Complainant write a letter dated December 22, 1995 indicating that she had no complaint with the Respondent.

This reviewing committee also considered the following:

At the hearing before this reviewing committee, the Respondent claimed that he gave money to the Complainant after the expiration of the statue of limitations because he felt sorry for the Complainant. The Respondent denied having contact with the Complainant after the grievance complaint was filed.

This decision was sent to Superior Court for disposition. His license was suspended. Anyone can look up a Connecticut attorney or a firm’s record here.

Attorney Pinsky also was a party to the case of  Pinsky vs. Statewide Grievance Committee, 216 Conn. 228, 578 A.2d 1075 (1990) which also involved professional misconduct. [this resulted apparently in an official reprimand by the State of Connecticut Superior Court]

I invite you to draw your own conclusions about the moral, legal, professional and ethical standards of Mr. Pinsky based on the information above. Since I am so oft told that I am preaching to the choir here I’m sure most of those conclusions will closely mirror my own private opinion of the gentleman individual.

For my  part Mr. Pinsky it is my personal view point that you, your (IMO opportunistic) actions and your conduct in this matter are best summed up for me by the following two graphics:

081711anger

douche

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Good things to say about lawyers

Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?

A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Your honor.

Q: What do you call a judge gone bad?
A: Senator.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Q: When lawyers die, why don’t vultures them?
A: Even a vulture has taste.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. Of 10?
A: A lawyer.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. Of 50?
A: Your honor.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What’s the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.

Q: What’s the difference between lawyers and buzzards?
A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.

Q: What’s the definition of a lawyer?
A: A mouth with a life support system.

Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
A: No changes occur.

Q: What’s the difference between God and an attorney?
A: God doesn’t think he’s an attorney.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in wet cement?
A: Not enough cement.

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called “Divorced Barbie”?
A: Yeah, it comes with half of Ken’s things and alimony.

Q: What’s the problem with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyer’s don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur,
two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn
in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle,
one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional
services.

Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery.

Q: Where else can you find a good lawyer?
A: At the city morgue.

Q: What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz full of lawyers?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

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Felon fashion: Mug shot T-shirts

You just can’t make priceless shit like this up!

Your Mother probably warned you to make sure you had on clean underwear going out incase you got hit by a bus. In the internet age that’s not enough, you need to pick what your T-shirt says carefully as well so you don’t wind up with your mug shot going viral!

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Guess he managed to follow his shirts instructions!

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I’d have to agree with that assessment, and apparently so did the Police!

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At least the Police thought so anyway!

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I’m afraid to ponder what kind of volume business she must do with the Bondsman to rate a free T-shirt

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I don’t think that word ‘great’ means what you think it does

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Well at least she follows the truth in advertizing laws at any rate!

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I’m forced to wonder if he was in fact arrested by the Fashion Police

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Wadda ya say we let a court decide that issue there Mr. Rocket Scientist?

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Ummm…ok we’ll just let this one slide by on its own umm…’merits’

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Eh apparently not so much but I like your optimism!

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Yeah…the downside of DARWIN’S Law!

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Or at least he WAS up until a little while ago!

 
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Minor Procedure

As I performed a simple medical procedure on my patient, I warned her, “After this, you can’t have sex for at least three days.”

“Did you hear that?” she asked her husband. “No sex for three days.”

“I heard,” he said. “But she was speaking to you.”

Lightbulb

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Who cares? They never get the house anyway.

Happy

My husband and I attended a bridal fair trying to drum up work for his fledgling wedding photography business. One vendor assumed we were engaged and asked when the big day was.

“Oh, we’ve been married ten years,” I said.

“Really?” she asked. “But you look so happy.

Love Letters

My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa. She was in her 20s, and the man she was dating left for war. “We were in love,” she recalled, “and wrote to each other every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your grandfather was.”

“Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the war?” I asked.

“Oh, I didn’t marry the man who wrote the letters. Your grandfather was the mailman.”

Relative Comfort

As my sister relaxed on the couch, her head comfortably leaning against the crook of her husband’s arm, her cell phone beeped. It was a text message from her husband: “Move.”

Waking Up

It took me forever to wake up one of my nursing home patients. But after much poking, prodding, and wrangling, he finally sat up and fixed his twinkling blue eyes on my face. “My, you’re pretty!” he said. “Have I asked you to marry me yet?”

“No, you haven’t,” I gushed.

“Good. Because I couldn’t put up with this every morning.”

Relearning

Before leaving for Officer Candidates School, I half-jokingly mentioned to my family that I was going to learn how to eat, sleep, shower, and shave all over again.

My brother, in the throes of planning his wedding, muttered, “Me too.”

A Second Opinion

My friend was at the beauty parlor when she overheard another woman rattle on to the manicurist about the sad state of her marriage. “Things have gotten so bad,” she said, “I think I might ask for a divorce. What do you think?”

“That’s a serious matter,” came the reply. “I think you should consult another manicurist.”

Years of Romance

Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office. A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.

As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.

When he saw me, he shouted, “Are those potato chips?”

Dad Approved

I’d been secretly dating for several months, and it was time to break the news to my very protective father. My mother thought he’d take it better if she explained to him that my boyfriend was a Marine who had just returned from Iraq. This pleased Dad immensely.

“A Marine? Good!” he said. “That means he can take orders.”

Right Answer

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye. The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: “Dear, breakfast is made. I’ve gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”

He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there’s breakfast. “Joe,” he says to his son, “what happened last night?”

“You came home soused and got that black eye tripping over a chair.”

“So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?”

“Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take off your clothes, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married!’

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Psalm 17 for Cats

1. Hear me, oh great one, when I cry to thee in thy dwelling place! Hear me, for I speak with the voice of the just! Hear me, for I am righteous, and I walk the good walk. And my name shall be Blameless.

2. Blameless shall they call me, and I walk the good walk the whole length of a mantelpiece laden with the most garish ornaments: chachkas for which breakage would be too kind a fate, lava lamps, and worse. Agile shall they call me, and I shall negotiate my way through such brute nastiness as this, and there shall be no smashing.

3. And smashing shall I reserve for a single and very expensive Baccarat vase that sits by itself in the middle of a large and uncluttered table and that only an act of malicious will could destroy. And I shall look innocent, and Blameless shall be my name. 4. And your couches will be mine for the shredding, and your divans shall I leave in tatters, and you shall buy your costly scratching posts in vain.

5. Put up your doors, oh upright walkers! For you shall not keep me out, and you shall not keep me in. I shall show you how little I care for your gates. For I shall cause you to open them with nothing more than a long and forthright look. And I shall cause you to close them with a prolonged and shuddering miaow. And a period of no more than thirty seconds shall elapse between the opening and the closing, and entrance and egress shall be as one.

6. And your ankles were made for no other purpose than for me to make a demonstration of my able and sinewy winding. For your laps are a slate on which I can perfect my kneading.

7. Make mine tuna.

8. Suffer me not to be belled, oh great one! For starlings are plentiful and stupid, and death at my paw is really too good for them, but we all have to go sometime, and if it be thy will that I should be the agent of their demise, then so be it, and who am I to argue?

9. Deliver me from liver.

10. For mine is the kingdom, forever and ever, and I shall always walk the good walk. The good walk shall always be mine and I shall be Blameless. Thus saith the cat, and the cat saith right.

Amen.

 NOtab;le Quotables

“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him; better take a closer look at the American Indian!” – Henry Ford

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In the coming New Year, 2013, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

This is an ironic turn of events.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for guidance…

The other involves a groundhog. . . .

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No matter what side of the AISLE you’re on, THIS is FUNNY.

Judy Walkman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Senator Harry Reid’s great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.
The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory:’

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription:

‘Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.’

So Judy recently e-mailed Senator Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.

Harry Reid:
Believe it or not, Harry Reid’s staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889,Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

Now THATs how its done, Folks!

That’s real Political Spin!!

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PLEASE HELP!!!

Donate your old jeans

Rather than throwing out your old jeans, donate them so that they may be used to help someone the same way they helped the deprived young lady in the photo. It is important to spread the word and help the less fortunate than us. This could be the first step to a better world for everyone. Please, Please, give generously.

 

Green Down Double Arrows Set Clip Art

 

 

 

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Just how bad must it appear to the rest of the world that things here in the US have gotten with attacks on our Constitutionally assure right to bear arms when someone who writes for the Russia Communist Party Newspaper Pravda, the mouth piece of the Soviet Government for the entire Cold War feels compelled to voice his opinion urging us not to allow ourselves to be stripped of this right by the gun & We the People fearing Liberal Democratic Left Legions of Lunacy?

No joke, no urban legend, no bullshit detected. The following commentary ran on 12/28/2012 in the English version of Pravda positively and possibly the other versions as well.

image Americans never give up your guns

28.12.2012 12:15 By Stanislav Mishin

Americans never give up your guns. 48982.jpegThese days, there are few few things to admire about the socialist, bankrupt and culturally degenerating USA, but at least so far, one thing remains: the right to bare arms and use deadly force to defend one’s self and possessions.

This will probably come as a total shock to most of my Western readers, but at one point, Russia was one of the most heavily armed societies on earth. This was, of course, when we were free under the Tsar. Weapons, from swords and spears to pistols, rifles and shotguns were everywhere, common items. People carried them concealed, they carried them holstered. Fighting knives were a prominent part of many traditional attires and those little tubes criss crossing on the costumes of Cossacks and various Caucasian peoples? Well those are bullet holders for rifles.

Various armies, such as the Poles, during the Смута (Times of Troubles), or Napoleon, or the Germans even as the Tsarist state collapsed under the weight of WW1 and Wall Street monies, found that holding Russian lands was much much harder than taking them and taking was no easy walk in the park but a blood bath all its own. In holding, one faced an extremely well armed and aggressive population Hell bent on exterminating or driving out the aggressor.

This well armed population was what allowed the various White factions to rise up, no matter how disorganized politically and militarily they were in 1918 and wage a savage civil war against the Reds. It should be noted that many of these armies were armed peasants, villagers, farmers and merchants, protecting their own. If it had not been for Washington’s clandestine support of and for the Reds, history would have gone quite differently.

Moscow fell, for example, not from a lack of weapons to defend it, but from the lying guile of the Reds. Ten thousand Reds took Moscow and were opposed only by some few hundreds of officer cadets and their instructors. Even then the battle was fierce and losses high. However, in the city alone, at that time, lived over 30,000 military officers (both active and retired), all with their own issued weapons and ammunition, plus tens of thousands of other citizens who were armed. The Soviets promised to leave them all alone if they did not intervene. They did not and for that were asked afterwards to come register themselves and their weapons: where they were promptly shot.

Of course being savages, murderers and liars does not mean being stupid and the Reds learned from their Civil War experience. One of the first things they did was to disarm the population. From that point, mass repression, mass arrests, mass deportations, mass murder, mass starvation were all a safe game for the powers that were. The worst they had to fear was a pitchfork in the guts or a knife in the back or the occasional hunting rifle. Not much for soldiers.

To this day, with the Soviet Union now dead 21 years, with a whole generation born and raised to adulthood without the SU, we are still denied our basic and traditional rights to self defense. Why? We are told that everyone would just start shooting each other and crime would be everywhere….but criminals are still armed and still murdering and to often, especially in the far regions, those criminals wear the uniforms of the police. The fact that everyone would start shooting is also laughable when statistics are examined.

While President Putin pushes through reforms, the local authorities, especially in our vast hinterland, do not feel they need to act like they work for the people. They do as they please, a tyrannical class who knows they have absolutely nothing to fear from a relatively unarmed population. This in turn breeds not respect but absolute contempt and often enough, criminal abuse.

For those of us fighting for our traditional rights, the US 2nd Amendment is a rare light in an ever darkening room. Governments will use the excuse of trying to protect the people from maniacs and crime, but are in reality, it is the bureaucrats protecting their power and position. In all cases where guns are banned, gun crime continues and often increases. As for maniacs, be it nuts with cars (NYC, Chapel Hill NC), swords (Japan), knives (China) or home made bombs (everywhere), insane people strike. They throw acid (Pakistan, UK), they throw fire bombs (France), they attack. What is worse, is, that the best way to stop a maniac is not psychology or jail or “talking to them”, it is a bullet in the head, that is why they are a maniac, because they are incapable of living in reality or stopping themselves.

The excuse that people will start shooting each other is also plain and silly. So it is our politicians saying that our society is full of incapable adolescents who can never be trusted? Then, please explain how we can trust them or the police, who themselves grew up and came from the same culture?

No it is about power and a total power over the people. There is a lot of desire to bad mouth the Tsar, particularly by the Communists, who claim he was a tyrant, and yet under him we were armed and under the progressives disarmed. Do not be fooled by a belief that progressives, leftists hate guns. Oh, no, they do not. What they hate is guns in the hands of those who are not marching in lock step of their ideology. They hate guns in the hands of those who think for themselves and do not obey without question. They hate guns in those whom they have slated for a barrel to the back of the ear.

So, do not fall for the false promises and do not extinguish the light that is left to allow humanity a measure of self respect.

Stanislav Mishin

The article reprinted with the kind permission from the author and originally appears on his blog, Mat Rodina

Дмитрий Судаков

Copyright © 1999-2013, «PRAVDA.Ru». When reproducing our materials in whole or in part, hyperlink to PRAVDA.Ru should be made. http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/columnists/28-12-2012/123335-americans_guns-0/#  The opinions and views of the authors do not always coincide with the point of view of PRAVDA.Ru’s editors.

!cid_X_MA11_1357066290@aol

In the wake of all the recent shootings and at least one attempted shooting that was quickly put down my armed private citizen…what’s that? What am I speaking of? You heard nothing about it? Why am I not surprised at that? Read here:

On Sunday Dec. 16 2012, 2 days after the CT shooting, a man went to a restaurant in San Antonio to kill his ex-girlfriend. After he shot her, most of the people in the restaurant fled next door to a theater. The gunman followed them and entered the theater so he could shoot more people. He started shooting and people in the theater started running and screaming. It’s like the Aurora, CO theater story plus a restaurant! Now aren’t you wondering why this isn’t a lead story in the national media along with the school shooting? There was an off duty county deputy at the theater. SHE pulled out her gun and shot the man 4 times before he had a chance to kill anyone. So since this story makes the point that the best thing to stop a bad person with a gun is a good person with a gun, the media is treating it like it never happened. Only the local media covered it. The city is giving her a medal next week. Just thought you’d like to know.

Below is link to local news coverage

http://www.woai.com/news/local/story/Deputy-shoots-gunman-at-San-Antonio-movie-theater/2wFsix5ntU2CDrsHjXx2kQ.cspx

!cid_X_MA9_1357066290@aol

It’s kind of amazing how this got nowhere near the airplay in the media that the killings did huh? A hero who saved lives, a happy outcome for a change, do we hear about it? HELLS NO! Why?

Because you idiot!  It will place/portray the ownership of guns and Concealed Carrying of permitted weapons in a good and positive light/spin. Regardless of the fact that its news and the truth we cannot possibly give air time to that! It doesn’t fit our liberal agenda as the media lap dogs of the Democrats and Obama to dismantle the 2nd Amendment and disarm the populace so we no longer have to fear them when we pass and enforce laws they don’t want!

!cid_X_MA19_1357066290@aol

Post Newtown (actually post Obama re-election) there has been an upsurge in the purchase of both hand guns and now that Obama is making noises about assault weapons bans, a rush to acquire them as well by many whom have never previously felt the need to own a weapon before. Many are taking classes as well in firearms safety & proficiency. Many are citing poor police response times as a reason for arming their homes for forcing them to embrace logic similar to the above or to this:

!cid_X_MA16_1357066290@aol

Now don’t get me wrong I find these sentiments laudable and have no problems with either of the women shown.

(well…ok, except for worrying that hot brass might find its way down that magnificent cleavage, mar it and thereby subject me to an overwhelming desire to ‘kiss it and make it better’ thereby getting me shot by her, by Molly or by the both of them!)

No the thing that DOES concern me is that in MOST cases the classes these new gun owners are taking teach them how to handle their weapon and how to possess/carry it within the law but NOT the ‘When-Where-Why’ of legal permissibility in the use of Deadly Force!

Nor do they prepare these individuals for the aftermath. Believe me, its nothing like what is depicted on TV.  Even in a “righteous” shooting you WILL have (possibly HUGE) problems, depending on the political clime where you live, in getting your weapon back from the Police (sometimes requiring a lawyer and a court order to do so) despite their having no legal reason for keeping it from you once the investigation is concluded!

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The 7 Things You Must Know Before Defending Your Home With A Firearm”  is a short booklet put out by The Home Defense Association of America.

It should be required reading on the list of anyone who owns a weapon that might use it for home defense, those with permits with full intent on defending themselves/their families or anyone thinking of buying a weapon for any of those reasons.

This information does not apply to just hand guns but any firearm used with dead force intent.

I have uploaded this booklet so it is readily available from this blog and these links will remain active until at least the end of the month. I encourage you to share them with anyone you know that owns a firearm and who might think of using it in self defense. (Preferably blog and all)

Not sure which version you need? ePub is the standard format for ebooks, supported by many ebook readers including iPad, iPhone, iPod, Sony Reader, BeBook, Nook, Kobo.

For Kindle, the Kindle app or if you downloaded the Kindle reader to your computer use the mobi format.

If your intent is to read this material on a computer and you do not have the Kindle or Nook for Computers programs, or if you’d prefer a printed hardcopy version then select the Pdf download.

ePub Link:

http://rapidshare.com/files/1103068961/HDAA_7_Things_You_Must_Know.epub

Kindle/mobi Link:

http://rapidshare.com/files/3149066512/HDAA_7%20Things%20You%20Must%20Know%20Before%20Defending%20Your%20Home%20With%20A%20Firearm.mobi

Adobe/Pdf Link:

http://rapidshare.com/files/1220031326/HDAA_7_Things_You_Must_Know.pdf

For additional information and resources go to: http://www.hdaa.us/

 !cid_71CE1819C7704C33A10F131182DD3929@your4dacd0ea75

WHY GRAMPS CARRIED A GUN & WHY I CARRY A GUN

My old grandda said to me ‘Boyo, there comes a time in every man’s life when he stops bustin’ knuckles and starts bustin’ caps and usually it’s when he becomes too old to take a whoopin.’

I don’t carry a gun to kill people.
I carry a gun to keep from being killed.

I don’t carry a gun to scare people.
I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m paranoid.
I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m evil.
I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.

I don’t carry a gun because I hate the government.
I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m angry.
I carry a gun so that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.

I don’t carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.
I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m a cowboy.
I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a cowboy.

I don’t carry a gun to make me feel like a man.
I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.

I don’t carry a gun because I feel inadequate.
I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate…

I don’t carry a gun because I love it.
I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.

Police protection is an oxymoron. Free citizens must protect themselves.
Police do not protect you from crime, they usually just investigate the crime after it happens and then call someone in to clean up the mess.

Personally, I carry a gun because I’m too young to die and too old to take a whoopin’

second amend

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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