Good Morning Campers. Although I’m not sure how good of a morning it really is. Evil has once again lanced the heart of our country. Headlines reveal the horror and tragedy of children being shot in their school
Gunman kills 20 children, 6 adults at Connecticut elementary school
The horror. The absolute evilness of this evil doing…Twenty-seven people, including 20 children, were killed Friday when a gunman clad in black military gear opened fire inside his mother’s kindergarten class at a Connecticut elementary school.
I am at a loss to try and even fathom the anguish the parents, friends, neighbors, family and loved ones must be going through. What the hell is wrong with us that a 20 year-old member of our society can commit such an atrocity?
I know that I am not explaining this very well. I have been trying for the better part of 3 hours to comment on this situation and have been unable to come up with anything other than my own horror and confusion.
These were kindergarten children!
Children who could’ve done nothing, NOTHING, to warrant such treatment! If this coward was upset with his mother (whom he also killed) and needed to show this emotion by killing the children of her class, I’m speechless.
I met my own daughter, 5th grade and 11 years-old, at her bus stop and hugged her and cried. Of course she had no idea what was going on and thought her poor old dad had finally gone over the deep end. I’m sure she was convinced it was going to happen sooner or later, anyway. After we were home (10+ hugs later), her mom and I tried to explain what happened and why dad and mom were hugging her so hard and so often. Thankfully, she didn’t really get it.
I hope and pray that it is a good long time before she does.
We need to laugh. Not that it will help very much, but it is what we’ve contracted to do and by goodness, that’s what we are going to do. So…
Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”
“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”
“He’s an idiot,” Bob said. “Piss on him!” “You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”
“Well, scr.w him!” said Bob. “I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff Department.
After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview. The Chief Deputy said, “You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an “Attitude Suitability Test”, that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don’t let anyone carry our badge, son.”
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, “Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
and a rabbit.”
“Why the rabbit?” queried the applicant.
“You pass,” said the Chief Deputy. “When can you start?”
So, I think I told you about the carving my award-winning father made for Mrs. Dragon and I for Christmas and that my daughter’s reaction was that he should’ve made Hello Kitty for her. Well, this came in the mail today…
That’s right! It’s a little, hand carved Hello Kitty on a marble stand.
My dad is so cool!
Thanks Dad! You made her day!
1. WHO SHOULD YOU MARRY?
-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
— Alan, age 10
-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
— Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
— Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
— Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
— Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
— Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– – Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– – Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
— Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
— Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is…….
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
— Ricky, age 10
I love Christmas lights.
They remind me of the people who voted for Obama.
They all hang together; half of them don’t work, and the ones that do, aren’t all that bright!
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them.
Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play
Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jab at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.
That’s what I thought you little bastard.
Here is a little bit of Christmas folklore that not many people know about. Have you ever wondered where some of the traditions that we have come from? I know that I have. So here is a bit of a story, that is passed down in the dragon family. My dad wrote and reminded me about it. Ill try and share more dragon family stories as they come up…
A Little Christmas Story –
When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the
reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two
others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards
cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and
a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves
had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he
accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass
pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice
had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked
it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t
this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you
like me to stick it?’
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Not a lot of people know this.
There was an old man, a boy, and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.
The old man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such a small boy walk.
The two decided that maybe they both should walk. Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride.
The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so, they decided that they both should ride. They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal.
The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip
on the animal he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story: If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Dedicated to all military troops everywhere.
THE SANDS OF CHRISTMAS
I had no Christmas spirit
when I breathed a weary sigh,
And looked across the table
where the bills were piled too high.
The laundry wasn’t finished
and the car I had to fix,
My stocks were down another point,
the Chargers lost by six.
And so with only minutes
till my son got home from school
I gave up on the drudgery
and grabbed a wooden stool.
The burdens that I carried
were about all I could take,
And so I flipped the TV on
to catch a little break.
I came upon a desert scene
in shades of tan and rust,
No snowflakes hung upon the wind,
just clouds of swirling dust.
And where the reindeer should have stood
before a laden sleigh,
Eight Humvees ran a column
right behind an M1A.
A group of boys walked past the tank,
not one was past his teens
Their eyes were hard as polished flint,
their faces drawn and lean.
They walked the street in armor
with their rifles shouldered tight,
Their dearest wish for Christmas,
just to have a silent night.
Other soldiers gathered,
hunkered down against the wind,
To share a scrap of mail
and dreams of going home again.
There wasn’t much at all
to put their lonely hearts at ease,
They had no Christmas turkey,
just a pack of MREs.
They didn’t have a garland
or a stocking I could see,
They didn’t need an ornament –
they lacked a Christmas tree.
They didn’t have a present
even though it was tradition,
The only boxes I could see
were labeled “ammunition.”
I felt a little tug
and found my son now by my side,
He asked me what it was I feared,
and why it was I cried.
I swept him up into my arms
and held him oh so near
And kissed him on the forehead
as I whispered in his ear.
“There’s nothing wrong, my little son,
for safe we sleep tonight
Our heroes stand on foreign land
to give us all the right.
To worry on the things in life
that mean nothing at all,
Instead of wondering if we
will be the next to fall.”
He looked at me as children do
and said, “it’s always right,
To thank the ones who help us
and perhaps that we should write.”
And so we pushed aside the bills
and sat to draft a note,
To thank the many far from home,
and this is what we wrote:
“God bless you all and keep you safe,
and speed your way back home.
Remember that we love you so,
and that you’re not alone.
The gift you give you share with all,
a present every day,
You give the gift of liberty
and that we can’t repay.”
~ Michael Marks ~
Merry Christmas and a safe New Year
to all troops so far from home!
May God bless and keep you safe.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
“There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”
Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know.
She met the Fortune Teller’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked, “Will I be acquitted?”
For some reason, wives tend to like this joke…
The Capitol Christmas tree in Washington , D.C. , is decorated with 3,000 ornaments that are the handiwork of U.S. schoolchildren. Encircling evergreens in the ‘Pathway of Peace’ represent the 50 U.S. states.
The world’s largest Christmas tree display rises up the slopes of Monte Ingino outside of Gubbio, in Italy ‘s Umbria region. Composed of about 500 lights connected by 40,000 feet of wire, the ‘tree’ is a modern marvel for an ancient city
A Christmas tree befitting Tokyo ‘s nighttime neon display is projected onto the exterior of the Grand Prince Hotel Akasaka.
Illuminating the Gothic facades of Prague’s Old Town Square, and casting its glow over the manger display of the famous Christmas market, is a grand tree cut in the Sumava mountains in the southern Czech Republic.
Venice ‘s Murano Island renowned throughout the world for its quality glasswork is home to the tallest glass tree in the world. Sculpted by master glass blower Simone Cenedese, the artistic Christmas tree is a modern reflection of the holiday season.
Moscow celebrates Christmas according to the Russian Orthodox calendar on Jan. 7. For weeks beforehand, the city is alive with festivities in anticipation of Father Frost’s arrival on his magical troika with the Snow Maiden. He and his helper deliver gifts under the New Year tree, or yolka, which is traditionally a fir.
The largest Christmas tree in Europe (more than 230 feet tall) can be found in the Pra’a do Com’rcio in Lisbon , Portugal . Thousands of lights adorn the tree, adding to the special enchantment of the city during the holiday season.
‘Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree’: Even in its humblest attire, aglow beside a tiny chapel in Germany ‘s Karwendel mountains, a Christmas tree is a wondrous sight.
Ooh la la Galeries Lafayette! In Paris , even the Christmas trees are chic. With its monumental, baroque dome, plus 10 stories of lights and high fashion, it’s no surprise this show-stopping department store draws more visitors than the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower
In addition to the Vatican ‘s heavenly evergreen, St. Peter’s Square in Rome hosts a larger-than-life nativity scene in front of the obelisk.
The Christmas tree that greets revelers at the Puerta del Sol is dressed for a party. Madrid ‘s two-week celebration makes millionaires along with merrymakers. On Dec. 22, a lucky citizen will win El Gordo (the fat one), the world’s biggest lottery.
A token of gratitude for Britain ‘s aid during World War II, the Christmas tree in London ‘s Trafalgar Square has been the annual gift of the people of Norway since 1947.
Drink a glass of gluhwein from the holiday market at the Romer, Frankfurt ‘s city hall since 1405 and enjoy a taste of Christmas past.
Against a backdrop of tall, shadowy firs, a rainbow trio of Christmas trees lights up the night (location unknown).
There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won’t come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
This week, I found out.
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.
-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.-
-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit–Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit–Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles’ Creed.
So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol…so pass it on if you wish.’
Merry Christmas Everyone
CHRISTMAS AT ARLINGTON CEMETERY
I wonder why the press hasn’t enlightened the public about it??
Arlington National Cemetery
Rest easy, sleep well my brothers.
Know the line has held, your job is done.
Rest easy, sleep well.
Others have taken up where you fell, the line has held.
Peace, peace, and farewell…
Readers may be interested to know that these wreaths — some 5,000 — are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, Maine . The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He’s done this since 1992. A wonderful guy. Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one of the poorest parts of the state.
Please feel free to share this with everyone on your address list. You hear too much about the bad things people do. Everyone should hear about this. And may your own Christmas Tree bring you and your family joy and happiness this holiday season.