Good Morning Campers! Let’s start with a bit o’ poetry from our Hillbilly friend Ross who is self-described as the “PROUD father of an American Soldier”. A description many of us would be PROUD to mimic ourselves. This one is called:
After Thanksgiving Poem
I ate too much turkey, I ate too much corn,
I ate too much pudding and pie.
I’m stuffed up with muffins and too much stuffin’,
I’m probably going to die.
I piled up my plate and I ate and I ate,
But I wish I had known when to stop.
For I’m so crammed with yams, sauces, gravies and jams,
That my buttons are starting to pop!
I’m full of tomatoes and french fried potatoes,
My stomach is swollen and sore.
But there’s still some dessert, so I guess it won’t hurt,
If I eat just a little bit more!
Well, I wish I had that for Last Week’s Issue…well, to be perfectly honest, I probably DID have that for last week’s issue, so I suppose the more accurate wish should be that I wish I had found this in time for last week’s issue. If you guys had any idea at ALL how far behind I am in some of my emails….
Although, it’s fun to open Independence Day emails in time for Christmas, it really doesn’t do well to keep a blog timely. Well, let’s get on with some more laughter.
Today is the first of December and Christmas is coming. Counting today there are 24 more shopping days till Christmas and I still don’t have my Christmas decorations up yet…. you could very easily replace me on the easy chair:
But, I digress. We still have enough time left before Christmas that we shan’t devote the entire issue to Christmas stuff. What do you say that we go on to another topic…a monetary one…
Ulysses Grant, Union army general, led the North through the Civil War! Favorite drunk in the Whitehouse. I truly wonder if he was as much of a drunk as his reputation presents?
Ben Franklin, genius inventor, political theorist and leading author of the Constitution. The perfect man to be on the highest bill still in circulation.
And what of our 44th president? What bill would be fitting for the man whose policies have affected more Americans in such a huge and monetary way?
I think this is the perfect fit! Finally, we have someone to put on the food stamp!!! Obama’s policies have put more people on welfare than any president before him, so this placement is most appropriate.
Unlike the Nobel Peace Prize, for which he did nothing, this is an “honor” he richly deserves.
So yeah. I went there. Did you think I wouldn’t? I still believe that giving this man another term is going to end up being the WORST decision that the American people have ever made. And I’m not going to be the person who, like when a call goes against the home team blames the refs, but it would not surprise me to find out that the election was bought and paid for in whole cloth. Wouldn’t surprise me at all.
Bill Clinton flew to Ireland on Monday where he gave a paid speech at the University of Limerick. They have a statue of him swinging a golf club in the Limerick town square. It’s only right that President Clinton be honored in the town that’s named for dirty poetry.
President Obama gave a big hug and kisses to Burma’s democracy leader and Nobel prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi. He repeatedly mispronounced her name. Burma was once a province of India so if the Teleprompter was broken, tech support is a local call.
Wal-Mart workers threatened to walk off the job on Black Friday. It’s very tense. The cashiers want more pay, the stockers want more benefits and greeters don’t want to have to fly to Spain every year to train on the streets of Pamplona for Black Friday.
Last weekend, it was announced that Justin Bieber and his girlfriend, Selena Gomez, have broken up. Bieber said, “Just tell me one thing — is it General Petraeus?”
As you know, America is the first country to send aid when other countries are in trouble.
It is highly appropriate, therefore that we now send THANKS to all of the countries that reciprocated for our help with their disasters, misgivings, social turmoil, & poverty by sending to the United States of America monetary and physical help when Sandy ravaged our East Coast leaving dead, homelessness, and pure disaster.
Listed below are all the Countries and World Organizations that are giving us gracious assistance. Please assist in thanking these entities by passing on this notice so people all over America can join in and THANK our neighbors, whom we have assisted with BILLIONS!!!!
First country on the list to donate or help us:
Maybe now Americans will realize that charity begins at home. With millions of our people in need and in poverty, let’s save our money and spend it at home instead of sending it to Egypt, Libya, Pakistan, etc……..
Staten Island, Queens, New Jersey and parts of New York and Connecticut would gladly thank America if we spent the billions there…..
Well, as for truth in advertising, I’d like to offer this website that shows who has donated what, in the corporate world, to Hurricane Sandy Relief. Now, I know that some of these corporations may be foreign, although they all have American connections, but, I looked through the listing and could find no real foreign aid.
So, I thought, gee, Impish, Shouldn’t there have been SOME country SOMEWHERE who offered to come and help? Well, I did find this article that says that supposedly Iran offered, but I’m not sure that I want their “help” anyway. They might take the opportunity to plant a suitcase nuke somewhere or something. Anyway, there you have it.
What do you think?
You may have heard that Hostess Bakery plants shut down due to a workers’
strike. But you may not have heard how It was split up.
The State Department hired all the Twinkies, the Secret Service hired all
the HoHos, the generals are sleeping with the Cupcakes and the voters sent
all the Ding Dongs to Congress.
A union boss walks into a bar next to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Romney for President button and a beer in front of him.
He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican.”
Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice.This infuriates the union boss.
The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”
The union boss asks the bartender, “What the hell is the matter with that Republican? I’ve ordered two rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does is smile and thanks me. Is he nuts?”
“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns the place.”
Shot my first turkey!
Scared the shit outta everyone in the frozen food section.
It was awesome!
Gettin’ old is so much fun! Don ‘t make old People mad.
We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.
Several churches are making up for lost revenue by renting out their steeples as cell phone towers. Churchgoers seem to like it because they can now get a good enough connection to text with their friends during the sermon.
A poll says that six in ten Americans are in favor of a tax hike for any income over $250,000. The other four didn’t respond because they have forgotten the actual meaning of the word “income.”
So…another side of the Hostess debacle comes out. We were all pretty quick to castigate the greedy union over the closing of the plants. Well, here’s an article from snopes.com that sheds a different light on the subject.
Dear Snopes: How much of this is true? “I wonder when the media will start reporting that while Hostess was trying to cut Bakers pay by 8% and benefits by 32% the CEO gave himself a 300% raise ($750,000 to $2,550,000). Nine executives received 60% to over 100% raises WHILE filing their 2nd bankruptcy. But yeah, let’s blame the 18,000 workers making less than $20 an hour for Hostess closing.”
Well, snopes comes back and says that this is true. But that at least some of it has been (partially) changed back. Interested in reading more? Well, I sure was…so read here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/hostess.asp
So, by all intents…it seems that there were MANY reasons for the closure, but it ALL comes back to greed! Now, there’s a huge surprise, right? We have the highest level of “entitlement – mindedness” in our nation’s history, being propagated by a president who wants the government to be responsible for giving you everything you need/want/could possibly desire, and we wonder why corporations are showing greed like never before.