Dragon Laffs #1253


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Good Morning Campers…adult-Content2_thumb1_thumb_thumb_thFirst of all, let me say thank you to everyone who sent well wishes and get wells to us.  Most of you just knew that something was wrong, but didn’t know just what and if I was ever able to get close to a computer I would have updated you as to what was going on.  In the interest of keeping private matters private, my dear pal LL simply told you guys that there would be a delay.

On Wednesday evening, Mrs. Dragon became very ill.  By Thursday morning, the littlest dragon was off to the neighbor’s (wonderful, wonderful humans!  They took great care of her and, as far as I can tell, none of their gold or silver is missing and all of their kids are accounted for!) and Mrs. Dragon was in the Emergency Room.  Sadly, the Emergency Room Staff didn’t fare as well as the neighbor’s house and I believe the count is now up to three EM employees listed as MIA.  They will eventually be moved to the KIA column since I KNOW that no body will ever be found.

Without going into huge details due to the Hipa-Law restrictions, Mrs. Dragon was pretty darn sick.  Blood was coming out of openings that blood is not supposed to come out of!  We were pretty darn scared there for a couple of days, but my sweet bride won the day and she is now home and doing better. 

Again, thank you all for the kind words, the help and assistance and the virginal sacrifices.  They were all deeply appreciated.

Now….

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This woman could easily be my hero!  Thanks to Molly for sharing!
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Let’s start the day out with something way cool and beautiful.  You should open this one up to full screen and turn the sound up so you can hear the beautiful music.  Thanks to K² for sharing this…

What imagination, reflexes and skill! And, what a bike!!

His bike is an extension of his body

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Cj6ho1-G6tw&vq=medium

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Groaner Zack

Q: If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
A: Slippers!
Q: Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
A: To draw the curtains!

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Sit back, relax and allow yourself to be wowed!  A trapeze tango performance at a cabaret in France:

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=5hIc2ODfRxQ

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Yup, one of my favorite pictures and comments of all time:
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You go guys!

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This cab driver had the PERFECT response:
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I know some people who are easily entertained, too.  Maybe even a dragon or two…

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Dang Dog!  He’s giving away my secrets as to how I get in and out of the caverns without security knowing!

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The most amazing stage magic ever – sawing a woman in half using clear see-through boxes:

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Rep. Jackie Speier (D-San Mateo) says she is trying to
feed herself this week on only 4.50 a day, which is what
most people on food stamps get each day. While it’s an interesting
experiment, I’d rather see those in Congress try to live long-term
with only the healthcare plans available to most Americans.
xmassinging2
Bank of America retracted their proposed new monthly $5 debit
fee due to customer fury. You know what that makes them?
Smarter than Netflix
xmasdeer
President Obama joined other world leaders in trying to convince
Greece to cut back in spending and reduce their debt. This is
part of their “do as we say not as we do” summit, apparently. If
they’re serious about cutting back on spending, how about not
holding these summits in the world’s most expensive places like
the South of France? What’s wrong with the function room
at Denny’s or the Waffle House?

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Motivational Ice Scraper

Motivational This end

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Dear children in art class,
Oh yes, the cereal box you made is very nice! Wow, it even has a unicorn on it!

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That’s just wrong…on SO many levels!

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Pun Queen

Why do homemakers preserve extra fruit and vegetables?
Because they can.
 
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
 
Have you ever thought that life is a car wash, and you’re on a bike?
 
I  work in a sweater factory. It’s a very clothes-knit community.
 

What would have happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? We would be eating pussy every Thanksgiving.
 
The actors had one great movie after another. They were on a role.
 
Never use wet wood in your fireplace.
You should always let weeping logs dry.
 

Contemplating my imminent root canal procedure was deeply unnerving
 

When the plumber finished unplugging the sink, he felt drained.

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Well, he really does!

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There I was standing in a bar in New York and this little Chinese guy comes in and stands next to me.

I said to him, “Do you know any of that martial arts stuff, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?”

He says, “No, why the fluck you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinee?”

“No”, I said, “It’s because you’re drinking my beer you slanty eyed little prick.”

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It may not surprise you at all, as many of us have known for quite
some time, that the so-called media in this country is not in the
business of reporting news so much as the manufacturing of
perceptions.

These clips from local news broadcast all over the country
demonstrate rather clearly that even the local news is, at least in
part, scripted from a central location an from there disseminated
to local outlets.

It takes a late night comedy show to demonstrate that the news is
in the business of shaping our perceptions.

Canned News…

If you ever had any doubt the media was controlled…

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This one is called Jager im Schnee or…well… you see what it means!

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Today’s Last Word…is a picture quiz.  Look at each picture in turn and try to figure out what it is.  Give yourself 1 point for each one you answer correctly.  There are 11 total.

Okay, here we go, here’s the first one:

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What’s the answer?  Scroll down a little to find out…

It’s an egg plant!  Of course it is.  How could you be so silly not to have gotten that one?  Okay, now on to the next one.  This one is going to be a little bit harder

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Well, who do you think this is?

Yes, he’s a doctor…

and he has a pepper for a head…

so that makes him…

Dr. Pepper.  Yeah, you got it!

Now, this next one is really tough!

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Okay, now think about it for a minute…

It’s obviously a piece of furniture…

a table …

with a pool in it …

Yup, it’s a pool table.

Didn’t get that one did you?

Or did you?

How about this tricky one:

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Okay, I will admit that this one was a real stumper for me…

Belly faucet?

….

Nope, how about…

Tap Dancers?  Yeah, I know.

Don’t start throwing things just yet, got a few more to go:

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Now, the original sender of this one thought this was one of the real stumpers…

but I warn you, I got it right off…

What do you think it is?

It’s a card shark!  Pretty simple right?  Yup, I thought so, too!

Now this snickerer…

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I’ll admit that this one is a bit of a reach…

….

think of Michael Jackson

He did catch his hair on fire doing a Pepsi commercial, right?

Did you get it?

The king of Pop!!!

Yeah, I’m a Coke man, myself…

And then the next one:

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Okay, this one gave me fits. 

I’m not sure the first time I saw it whether I got it right or not.

It’s really not what you think.

What do you think?

It’s…

an iPod (eye pod)

I can hear you groaning now.  Don’t take it out on me, I’m just the presenter:

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I will say that this one is definitely a toughie.

It’s not a croc shop

or even anything like that

it’s …

Are you ready?

Gator Aid!

Okay, you!  I saw you in the back row, throw that tomato!

Don’t make me come back there…

At least not before I show you this next one
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Okay, now see

that was an easy one

wasn’t it?

a Knight Mare!

Getting close to the end now.  How are you doing, point-wise?

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Before you guess this one, if you are doing well,

you should have 8 or a perfect 9 so far

Guess this one, at number 10

and you are almost at the end.

What do you think this one is?

Did you guess

hole milk? (Whole Milk)

Okay, good job.  Now, last picture…

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Those of us of a more round persuasion

Like dragons and mountain dwarves

should order these when we go out

to the local tavern

Did you guess?

And did you guess light beer?

Well, that’s what it was.  A light beer.  Get it?  Light … Beer… No?  Well, all I can say is,
Better luck next time.  And speaking of next time…that will be our yearly Christmas issue and until then, May all your days be safe and merry.

wreathend

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1253

  1. M C Collett says:

    Very happy to hear the wife is on the mend, especially at this time of year.

    Especially enjoyed the ‘Picture Quiz’, today. Some really drove me crazy.

  2. Ginny says:

    Too scary, glad she is doing better. Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a year filled with good health and happiness.

  3. Dan in NYC says:

    I’m sorry to hear of Mrs. D’s frightening experience. Best wishes to you all on a Merry Christmas and a HEALTHY and prosperous 2012!

  4. Kris says:

    Happy to hear that Mrs. Dragon is feeling better. Merry Christmas!!!

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