Dragon Laffs #1252


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Adult ContentGood Morning Campers…I am, again today, working the weekend, so there isn’t a lot of time for playing around.  Grab your coffee, get your camp chairs or folding thinga-ma-bobs and get settled down so we can get started.

So, Christmas is just two weeks, and one day away.  That doesn’t leave a whole lot of time left for shopping if you haven’t gotten it done yet.  I understand that some of you probably haven’t even STARTED your shopping yet; holding out for the last minutes sales no doubt, well just remember, the Dragon Loves Virgins and other things to … um… chew on and the Leprechaun….well, gold is always good.

Now. let’s get this show on the road and…

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So, these three dogs pop into a British pub and…

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Here’s a picture of Impish doing his best to warm the Leprechaun’s office…

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Since an empty stomach will growl for food, why won’t an empty
head shout out for knowledge?

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Well, it’s what they said they wanted….

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New Federal Golf Rules 
These new golf rules will be in effect beginning December of 2011. Please share with fellow golfers. 
 
President BHO has recently appointed a Golf Czar and major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective in December 2011. This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2000 pages) is being rewritten as we speak. Here are a few of the changes.
 
Golfers with handicaps: 
– below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%. 
– between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees. 
– above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play. 

The term “gimmie” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows: 
– handicaps below 10, no entitlements. 
– handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts. 
– handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
 

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again. The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term “net score” will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above. 

This is intended to “re-distribute” the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only “net score” against every other player’s “gross score”. These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. 

Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility. This is the “Right thing to do.”

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Here’s an oldie, but definitely a goodie!
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Air Show at night
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August 10, 2011 –
Highlights from AirVenture 2011’s night airshow, Saturday, July 30th.
http://www.eaavideo.org/video.aspx?v=1103012503001

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A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home.

1st kid says “A computer”.

Teacher replies “That’d be very useful.”

2nd kid says “a new lawn mower” and gets a similar response.

Little Johnny pops up and says ” At my house we don’t need nothin.”

The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something.

Little Johnny replies, “No I’m sure……….”

“When my sister started going out with a Muslim, I remember my dad saying,

“Well, that’s the last fucking thing we need.”

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You know, Halloween was just over….and scaring people is the best…okay, one of the best, things to do at this time of year. Here’s a bunch of practical jokers doing just that!

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As With Most toys

Motivational Kitten Mind Meld

Well there's

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Indianapolis – A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Marion County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Indianapolis Colts Football Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

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And under the, “Okay, I’ve now seen it all” Category, comes a new challenger…. Urinal Video Games…
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/video-game-urinals/
Yup, you pretty much have to see it to believe it!

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Oh, just click on this and follow the directions…you’ll have fun!
http://www.drawastickman.com/index.htm?o=68-114-97-103-111-110-32-76-97-102-102-115s73-109-112-105-115-104-32-68-114-97-103-111-110

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Some really nice HD Time Lapse Photography of …

Click here: Life of flowers

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This one is great….just follow the directions.  I promise, nothing will jump out at the end.
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/watch-this-video-for-30-sec-then-look-at-your-keyboard/

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Today’s Last Word…
comes from me….and I have to say that this particular subject pisses me off and makes me sad at the same time.  Here’s the headline that started it all:

Report: Air Force dumped remains of 274 troops in landfill

The Air Force dumped the incinerated partial remains of at least 274 American troops in a Virginia landfill, far more than the military had acknowledged, before halting the secretive practice three years ago, records show.
The landfill dumping was concealed from families who had authorized the military to dispose of the remains in a dignified and respectful manner, Air Force officials said.  There are no plans, they said, to alert those families now.
Click here to read the rest of the article…
Okay, so this is MY Air Force that did this.  The organization that I’ve called home on and off (mostly on) for the better part of 34 years.  The group that I’ve ALWAYS had the highest respect for, even when they’ve done dumb ass things, even when they’ve treated me and others like shit, even when they, time after time, followed a “good-old-boy” mentality over fairness and common sense.  It was all part of being in the military and living by different ideals and standards than civilians do and allowing civilians to not understand because they were civilians.
I could call Lethal a Jarhead and he could call me a Wingnut because we belonged.  We were both part of a respected brotherhood.
But now, with this…..
I’m embarrassed for my beloved blue.
I want to hang my head in shame.
I want someone to come and tell me that it was a huge mistake, that it didn’t really happen or that it was limited to a couple of individuals that went off the reservation on their own.
How could they possibly think that disposing of American remains, even unidentified, cremated and further incinerated ashes, are disposed of in a “dignified and respectful manner” by being dumped in a landfill??!!  I know money was probably an issue.  For years now, we’ve been told to do more with less.  But someone should have stood up for the Air Force’s Core Values!
What are the core values you ask?
Something that every Airman is taught to live by, taught to cherish, taught to love as much as one might love a mother, father or spouse.  We repeat them in basic training, when I went to Tech School, 4 years ago, as a civilian employee at a military school, I proudly stood and repeated them with the newest and rawest recruits.

The Core Values:

Integrity First

Service Before Self

Excellence In All We Do

Where was the integrity?
How did we serve those fallen warriors and their families?  Or did we take the easy way out and just dump the trash?
Can anyone involved say that they did their very best? (Excellence in my book is defined as doing the best you can, each and every time.)
Why didn’t someone stand up and say “THIS IS NOT RIGHT!”

You know, personally, I couldn’t care less what you do with my carcass when I die.  Toss my body in a dumpster somewhere for all I care.  That’s not me any more, I’m not there.  But, I know that burials and proper treatment of remains are more for the families that are left behind, not for the person who died.  And in that regard, I would never, ever do that to my family.  I would want, and DEMAND proper treatment of my remains, not for me, but for them!

And that’s what my Air Force has forgotten.  It’s not just about keeping faith with the airmen who’ve cashed that final check, it’s responsibility is also to keeping faith with the families.
And they screwed it up.

And then we top it off with finding out that Walter Reed hospital banned bibles and other religious accouterments to members and their families!
http://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/faith-and-morals/10090-following-flak-walter-reed-military-hospital-overturns-bible-ban

WTF?  They even took it as far as not allowing a priest to come in and properly give a warrior Last Rites.  Okay, granted, the ban has been rescinded, but what in the world are they thinking?

Remember Lethal’s Rant on the Cemetery in Houston and the VA?  Is our world going completely batty?  I can’t help but think that it is all the politicians fault (and yes, that includes Bush who was in office for the Landfill thing).  It’s time we let our elected officials know that we’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!

I may hang my head in shame over what my Air Force has done, but I’ve got a big stick in my hand and I want to lay it upside somebody’s ass when I find out who’s responsible for this crap!  I want to tear out somebody’s heart and chew it into little bits!  Heaven help the bastards if I ever do find out and get my hands on them…. and I know Lethal feels exactly the same way.  Here’s a snippet of one of our conversations:

Lethal: I’m outraged. I’m offended. I’m personally pissed & insulted. I want someone’s ass, I want someone’s career & I want someone locked up  274 years
Impish: I’m highly pissed
Lethal: I want a mausoleum built on Dover AFB out of their budget to house cremains. It should be named “TRAVESTY of the Fallen” Mausoleum
Lethal: fuck RESPECTFUL would have been to place them in weighted urns and take them, on a final flight over the ocean and burry them that way  (Which is basically what they do now and have been doing since 2008).

I leave you with those thoughts.  Be well, my friends, until we meet again.

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Impish Dragon 4

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One Response to Dragon Laffs #1252

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    Impish~
    Having noted down your last wishes regarding your disposal and turned them into a legal document for you to sign looking forward to when Mrs.Dragon and I decide to cash in your life insurance I MEAN looking forward to when you fly off permanently in the the sunset in search of the final mystery, as your legal adviser I have to ask;

    Regarding that dumpster, does it have to be new and/or clean?

    Also fitting you in a single 40 yard dumpster might be a bit optimistic without certain..measures being taken. Are you opposed to being run thru a wood chipper on the way into the dumpster?

    IF not, does the wood chipper have to be clean and new?

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