Dragon Laffs #1246


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Good Morning Campers…adult Content2I’m going to try one of Lethal’s tricks today and see if I can’t get this thing to auto-post so I can sleep in, in the morning.  You’ll know if it works or not if you are up and around at 0530 hrs local Saturday morning.  If it doesn’t work, then this thing will get sent out when I get up in the morning.  No telling what time that is going to be, but I have a date for some electronic coffee with a dear old friend, so it can’t be that late….she gets up awfully early. 

So, without further ado, let’s get our laugh on….

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The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of
97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and
Cheetos in a variety pack. After they opened the casket, they
resealed it with a Chip Clip.

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Dragon Pix2

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You would not believe the mail that this picture has generated…and by whom!  I promised Lethal that I wouldn’t use his name, but his initials are Lethal Leprechaun.  There, now I didn’t break any promises.

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Mini Dragon Rant

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A radio ad for a handgun training class that bars Muslims and Obama voters has sparked an investigation in Texas.
 

The ad ran for six days on KHLB, Mason’s local station. It’s also been heard tens of thousands of times on Youtube.

Keller, 65, has said in media interviews that he just regards the message is just common sense. “The fact is, if you are a devout Muslim, then you cannot be a true American,” he told local news station KVUE, while fielding calls congratulating him for his stance. “Why should I arm these people to kill me? That’s suicide.”

“I call it exercising my right to choose who I instruct in how to use a dangerous weapon,” he added.

But the state of Texas may disagree. The Department of Public Safety said in a statement that certified instructors of handgun training are required to comply with all applicable state and federal laws, and added: “Conduct by an instructor that denied service to individuals on the basis of race, ethnicity or religion would place that instructor’s certification by the Department at risk of suspension or revocation.” The department has said it has begun an investigation.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/ad-gun-training-bars-muslims-obama-voters-153954962.html

 

Below is the transcript of Crockett Keller’s radio commercial for his concealed handgun license (CHL) course.  This was aired in the Mason/Kerrville/Fredericksburg area.

Hello friends and neighbors in Mason and surrounding counties.
Attention: Be a Victor and not a Victim.
We will be having a beginners concealed handgun class this coming Wednesday, October 26th, at Keller’s Riverside Store on the beautiful Llano River.
Classes start at 8:30 am.  This is an all day event.
We will attempt to teach you all the necessary information you need to obtain your CHL and hopefully, when you can use your weapon to defend yourself if the need arises.
We also will give you your handgun proficiency test, as needed, to get your license.
The cost for the course is one hundred dollars.  We accept cash, check, credit cards, gold and silver, and used guns. For information or to sign up call Crockett Keller 325-347-0055.
If you are a socialist liberal and/or voted for the current campaigner-in-chief, please do not take this class.  You have already proven that you cannot make a knowledgeable and prudent decision, as required under the law.
Also, if you are a non-Christian Arab or Muslim, I will not teach you the class.
Once again, with no shame, I am Crockett Keller, 325-347-0055.
Thank you and God Bless America

Okay, let’s hear it…are you for or against.  There’s a side here for every ranter.  Do we agree or disagree that he is allowed to pick and choose his own customers?  Because it’s a license he may or may not be allowed to discriminate by political affiliation or religion, but if he is just instructing on how to obtain a license, can’t he be choosy about his students?  Just as a bartender can refuse service to anyone, can’t he do the same thing?

Now, do you agree or disagree on his choice of discretion?  I certainly wouldn’t want to instruct a radical Muslim and give him the means to arm himself against me!  I mean, come on!

I’m really looking to start things up with this one, so let’s hear it.

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715

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A poll says that half of all Americans think the government
is an immediate threat to their rights and freedoms. The
rest were able to qualify for some sort of government assistance.

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 f2009011305

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Some members of the House are suggesting we do away
with the dollar bill and replace it with a coin. Opponents
say it’s more expensive to mint coins than print money. Isn’t
printing money what put our dollar at risk in the first place?

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740

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North Carolina Governor Bev Perdue says congressional
elections should be suspended until the country gets
back on track. A better idea would be to suspend their
paychecks until they do something to fix the economy.

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 a128

a129

a130

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Dear cupcakes and donuts,
Sluts.

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741

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Public Service 1

HEALTH MESSAGE

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of theworld, I rapidly realized that I don’t really care! It’s the tortoise life for me!

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so. I’m retired. Go around me!

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motivat

 angrybirds

Motivational Guinea Pigs

Motivational guns

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My daughter just walked into the living room and said “Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.” Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don’t forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.

Well, she didn’t put it quite like that.. she actually said…

“Dad I have decided to work for Obama’s reelection campaign.”
K2
At the Hub of The Universe

 

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742

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Pun Queen

Pharmacists find their work to be very encapsulating.

If less is more, then how much is “more or less”?

The printer broke up with his girl friend because she wasn’t his type.

If you think guests really enjoy your home movies, you are probably projecting

On TV it’s a maze of channels, luckily he had a guide.

How does AVON find so many women willing to take orders?

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744

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Groaner Zack

Q: What happened to the cat who ate a ball of yarn?
A: She had mittens!

Q: How do you know that your tiger is telling the truth?
A: He’s not a lion.

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745

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May peace break into your home and
May thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans
BlessingBecome a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline
And may laughter assault your lips!

May happiness slap you across the face
And may your tears be that of joy

May the problems you had
Forget your home address!

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746

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The Nobel Peace Prize committee in Oslo gave no clues Sunday
as to the frontrunner for this year’s peace prize. It will be
announced on Saturday. President Obama is out of contention for
the prize but if he kills one more al-Qaeda leader he
gets a free car wash.

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Today’s Last Word…Comes to us in part, from Tom

Here’s a public service for you to get the country out of debt. It’s supposed to be against the law for telemarketing people to call when you are on the do not call list. They say it’s a 10,000.00 fine for each unwanted call. If this was enforced, I could raise over 200,000.00 per week just at my house! I am on the list and have reported several complaints about these calls and nothing has been done or the calls would have ended. I liked it better in the good old days when the salespeople would come to my door. That way I could at least throw them into the street and make sure they didn’t return. Now all I can do is write to The Dragon. Breathe some fire on these assholes for all of us Mr. Dragon!
Tom
Tom, I am so with you a hundred percent on this one.  I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t get the toll-free call from a couple of states over that is a recorded message with “an important message for you about the status of your charge cards!” Or, “This is Rick Salami and we’re calling on behalf of the Volunteer Fire Fighters, families of fallen officers and disable sheep herders in your area.”  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for helping out where and when I can, and these are some groups (well, the first two, anyway) that I normally cheerfully support, but when these particular groups call, you are lucky if a nickel out of every dollar actually makes it to the charity that it is supposed to make it to. 
And besides…I’m on the damn NO CALL LIST!  What is it you don’t understand about NO CALL??!!??
And it’s like they have a sensor on my kitchen alarm.  When the timer goes off for dinner, then the phone rings at almost exactly the same tie.  What’s up with THAT!!??!!
I barely have enough money to keep my own family afloat, don’t call me on the NO CALL LIST and ask me to share some of it with you.
I did try the other night of getting someone on the phone, telling them that someone was at the door and could they hold on for  a minute.  Then I laid the phone down and came back to it in about an hour.  Not sure how long they waited, but every minute was a minute taken away from them. 
Anyway, that’s all I got for today campers.  May your kindling stay dry, your beer stay wet and your sleeping bag stay warm and toasty!

1Impish Dragon 2

Impish

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26 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1246

  1. making money online by droping spam all voer other peoples blogs like a dog on someone else's front lawn says:

    I love your wp web template, exactly where do you download it from?

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Right from Word Press its stock because nobody buys our bling so we can afford better or fancier.

      Seriously pathetic try spammer. Be ashamed, be very ashamed. In fact be SO ashamed you never show your face around this blog again!

  2. Amen, Rick.

    THAT would be freedom. If peeps disliked it, they could simply “shop” somewhere else.

  3. Perhaps Mr. Keller should have left the discrimination clause out of the ad, but I firmly believe he and all other private business owners should be able to deny service to anyone they choose. Drive on Mr. Keller.

  4. Obviously,

    Impish is in dire need of broadening his horizons on meals.

    You’re the chef Lethal. Can you not come up with alternatives enough to tempt a dragon?

  5. Careful Impish,

    If you move towards having your fans for dinner – you’re ratings are gonna plummet. :p

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Yeah but the cost of feeding him will drop significantly. You got ANY idea how rare & expensive young pretty virgins are now a days?

  6. Impish,

    The black & white with the dragon tattoo is pretty impressive. However, it seems to be Chinese and I remain partial to American Dragons. 😉

    Mr. Crockett Keller should be awarded a gold star, and if he doesn’t already have the right to deny service to whom he so desires, I don’t wanna hear any more misnomers referring to the good ol’ USA as being a FREE COUNTRY!

    In replacing a coin for paper money – if they do this (GAK!), we’ll all look like that Leprechaun, running around carrying our hard earned treasure in a mini-cauldron. I have about 30 euros and several Brit pounds crammed into a jewelry box that I’d forgotten about until my friend JJ mailed the box to me here in the States. I’d put the coins in the box when I lived across the pond because I kept getting change when I was shopping and ran out of wallet and pocket space. I hate the idea!
    For tele-marketer calls, I LOVE the idea of leaving the phone off the hook for an hour. I’d almost think a land-line would be worth it just for that simple pleasure. However, when one is a in a hurry … get an air horn.

    Great issue Impish, and I was up and saw it in my email at 0630. 🙂

    • impishdragon says:

      Thank you all for the lively debate on this topic. When Lethal and I discussed this idea (yes, we discuss a lot of our ideas with each other before they get aired, we are our own worst critic and biggest fan) we knew it would stir up some discussion, but I don’t believe we were expecting this much. Thank you all for stepping from spectator to participant.

      Lethal, I think you could take your scenario one step further…someone at the flight schools may have had second thoughts, but someone who worships at the alter of the almighty dollar probably didn’t want to lose the sales of teaching the radical Islamists how to fly.
      Jim-Bob, Instructor Pilot, “Hey boss. Something just ain’t right about these guys. I think they’re plannin’ sumthin'”
      Mr. Burns, owner of Big Billy Burns Flight School and Bait Shop, “Don’t you worry none about it, Jim-Bob, it’s all under control.” And in an aside, under his breath, “And besides, I already cashed their check.”
      Now, Mr. Keller, on the other hand, is turning away business, costing himself money, by doing what he feels is the right thing. We could argue all day long about whether it is legal or not, but let me throw one more statement out on the table… We’ve all known from a very young age, that what is Legal or illegal bears very little similarity between what is right and wrong.

      I’m quite pleased that you are partial to American Dragons, Angelia. You should come round the offices so I can taste you … er … I mean … Thank you personally for all the kind words you have given us.

  7. Rick says:

    Imagine the crap storm going the other way if compliance with a law had him knowingly training jihadis. Well….. considering the thundering silence of the media regarding ‘Gunwalker’ …maybe not. Leftys love the simplicity of political correctness. Conservatives in startling contrast value wisdom.
    If one doesn’t approve of Mr Keller then follow the dictates of the marketplace – vote with your feet – go somewhere else. Contact Ms Pelosi, or Hillary Clinton, or the Democrat Party direct for information on getting training in support of your Constitutional rights. Be prepared however to provide links to the reference document. (The Constitution)

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      An excellent point you make Rick!

      Consider for a moment the larger implication if you will of Rick’s point. Had several flight schools been able to refuse Muslims than made them uncomfortable and were not citizens flight lessons the Twin Towers would still proudly stand today!

      Granted I’m saying this with the benefit of ten years of hind sight. Still there had already been a bombing attempt and Al-Quida was on our National Security threat radar. If people who taught “sensitive” or “potentially life threatening” skills had the right to refuse to teach certain individuals it would make it that much harder for them to come here and train to hurt us in our own country!

  8. Jeanne says:

    Whoo Hoo! What a GREAT issue, Impish! As for Mr. Keller, other than you and L.L., he is my hero! He’s just stating what many, many Americans feel. I don’t know how “legal” it is, but I do like how L.L. explained it. I hope Mr. Keller gets alot of support for his opinion.

  9. lethalleprechaun says:

    Lastly I am writing this second comment to underline the fact that it comes wholly from a personal standpoint, I’m disappointed in Mr. Keller. See, I don’t think he took his teaching restriction far enough. While Mr. Keller seeing Obama supporters and Muslims being allowed to carry handguns as unsafe abet for 2 different reasons one doing with a lack of intelligence, the other dealing with the groups intent on destroying America from within (I’ll let you apply those label(s) where and how you see fit to those two groups), he is apparently quite alright (at least judging by their lack of mention in his commercial or written statements) with teaching illegal immigrants how to handle a gun and get a permit for it! Certainly they are as big a threat as the other two groups (arguably bigger than the other two groups here in Texas actually) so why did he chose to leave them out?

    (Grinning) Better yet, how soon will some Pro Mexican group start whining about him discriminating against them for NOT considering them an equal threat?

  10. lethalleprechaun says:

    While Dan is spot on about the legality issues of teaching the class,I agree with Hank’s sentiments, Don’s point about the changing the law will never fly. That would open up the state to charges of legally discriminating against certain racial or religious groups.

    There are several points/aspects that having bearing on this that have not as yet been mentioned however that I can see at first glance.

    1.) Advertizing something to discourage it as opposed to actually doing it does not violate the non discrimination law(s). As long as nobody cans say he inquired as to their politics or religion and were then subsequently turned away.the state can investigate all they want but that about ALL they can do.

    2.) The non discrimination section of the law regarding what is more properly known in Texas as CWCP or Concealed Weapons Carry Permit (we have an open carry law here as well). from my reading yesterday seems to be written from the presumption that the instructor is directly financially benefiting from teaching the course. Now if he is provably not charging for the course and say offering it to the Rotary Club or a Neighborhood Watch or ANY like minded group of individuals as a civic service it would seem to be he is free to pick and choose whom he instructs as a favor. (ok granted this is skinning the cat with a ginsu and with one eye closed)

    3.) Mr. Keller DOES have the legally upheld right to refuse service and/or to sell to anyone entering his establishment for any reason whatsoever. One would tend to think that his exercising this right based on valid fear (at least in the case of the Muslims they can be construed as valid) would be interpreted not only as reasonable but also being civilly responsible, especially in our current economy and given the fact that handgun are NOT cheap so that each turned away potential customer potentially represents several hundred dollars in sales..The point is all he has to do is deny ALL the services of his shop to a person and he is off the hook. HE could easily argue that the presence of a particular person or group of persons hurts his business by driving away other customers by making them uncomfortable or causing ghem to have concerns for their safety.

    4.) Despite anyone having successfully completed a CWCP class there is NO assurance of your getting an actual permit. Completing the class is a requirement of APPLYING for the permit, a process which is somewhat lengthy detailed and subject the applicant to a great deal of scrutiny by law enforcement. OK granted I’m sure that most are preliminarily checked and if no electronic red flags pop up are not subjected to review under a microscope. However I’m equally sure that if your name sis Abul Husein bin Laden Quadaffi.your going to probably get triple checked until they find a reason to deny you the permit even if its for no other reason than the fact that your name will not fit on the carry permit card!

  11. Don says:

    If Mr. Keller is issued his training license from the State of Texas, he should follow the State’s rules and laws concerning that license. He does have the option to contact his rep. and try to get the law changed.

    As far as the Do Not Call list goes, the last I read (it could have changed by now, but I doubt it) political campaigns, and non-profit organisations are exempt from the list. Perhaps we should start a campaign to chnge this.

  12. Gayle says:

    A private business person should have the right to refuse service to anyone.

  13. Mr Keller may not be able,legally, to do it his way,but, i still like the premise, and hope he finds a way to succeed. If you aren’t 100% an American, then got out . We are slowly being taken over from within.

    • Dan from NYC says:

      You guys are a rip! A lot of good discussion but unfortunately we find ourselves boxed in by our own liberties being used against all that is sound judgement. We talk here of Mr. Keller but what about the military of all places? The PC nonsense has proven mistaken and deadly. Fort Hood’s experience with the covering for that ass wipe whose loyalties were more with his fellow Muslims was greater than his love of America stands to be repeated many times over with allowing Muslims anything less than suspect status. But really, how do we change it? This is no longer the 1950’s or ’60’s. Civil rights have replaced common sense. FDR (not my favorite by a long shot) incarcerated the Americans of Japanese descent and it’s completely understandable that the did that. Yes it sucked for them but it was a step to help preserve the union and was widely accepted in that time.

      America has been gelded by the distortion of what liberty is and what it demands. God has granted men unalienable rights but for the preservation of the union that protects those rights from tyranny there must be a basic understanding that that liberty has to be protected at a cost. If you don’t agree with that cost then you should move on and not distort the law to your convenience.

      Where do we start?

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        Good points Dan, the problem is in a nutshell while you have the right of it (both in truth and political PoV) we cannot get those of an opposing view points to MEANINGFULLY sit down and discuss rolling back the clock to a safer and saner time, even after the 1st bombing attempt, The WTC attack and subsequent thwarted attacks.

        As Abraham Lincoln said regarding the Civil War; “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”
        That is EXACTLY what is going on here this partisan politics fueled refusal to heed the wake up calls, smell the coffee, or to come to the mainstream “Get Realistic & Practical About America’s Problems NOW” PoV. is not only going to cause us to suffer another Sept 11th, (this time possibly on an even larger scale) but will likely be responsible for the downfall of our Democratic Republic legally or financially.

        I don’t know about you folks but I’m buying ammo canned goods MREs and water purification supplies for Cmas because sooner or later if we stay this course and do not take in the reigns sharply on liberties and what foreigners can and cannot do get and receive in the US the collapse of our government is going to happen (4 more years of the Obamination and I promise you it will be damned near immediate) and when it does its going to make the Rodney King riots look like the Occupy Wall Street Movement..

  14. Dan from NYC says:

    Like so many people Mr. Keller asserts a right he doesn’t have. As a private citizen he has the right to believe whatever he wants to. While his rhetoric no doubt helps him sell guns and classes, it runs smack into the law that certifies him. The race, creed, color discrimination make’s this a no win situation for him. His having made the statements alone can be sufficient for the state to take action against him.

    • Henry says:

      Restaurants have the right to not serve you if they choose to, so he has to train someone that might want to shoot him ? Is this right ? I’m getting sick of this politically correct society.

      • Dan from NYC says:

        Apples and oranges Henry. Your restaurant cannot refuse service based on sex, race, creed, color or national origin. Whatever restrictions they do have must be equally applied across the board and must not discriminate against a group. They do however, have every right to serve pork.

      • impishdragon says:

        I agree Dan, apples and oranges…although…I believe Mr. Keller could present a better case for turning away someone than a restaurant could. As a former restaurant manager, I better have a pretty darn good reason for refusing to serve someone. In my somewhat long and sordid relationship with food services, I could count on one hand the times I had to refuse service to someone. And in all those cases, bar one, I was chastised by the owner for my decision. Well, technically, the one I didn’t get in trouble over, it wasn’t me that refused service to the individual, it was the police department. It’s kinda tough to be served when you are being taken away to jail in handcuffs.

        Anyway, there has to be a point where the instructor of a class that is, or could be, inherently dangerous, is allowed to say, “In my professional opinion, continuing to teach this person about firearms (or explosives, or whatever) is a dangerous or an unsafe act.” And his opinion, as a professional (he is the instructor, after all) must be taken into account.

        I also believe that Mr. Keller is making a mistake by advertising out front, that he will be refusing service to anyone based on political or religious beliefs. Just like the restaurant, you can refuse someone based on behavior, not on beliefs. You would be hard pressed to show that anyone, based on the decisions they made in choosing their elected officials or their religion, behaved in an unsafe manner. Although I believe that is what he is trying to do by his statement about proven poor decision making.

        And Angelia…no one said anything about eating my fans. Tasting is not eating. I’ve had no complaints thus far.

      • My, my Impish – aren’t you the clever one. And so early in the morning …. 😉

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        It’s true, Impish does not eat his fans. He does just lick them… repeatedly… with breath worse than stinky tofu.

        Now GROUPIES on the other hand…well our current rating of NC-17 to R will not allow me to discuss such graphic and horrific things. Lets just say I never want to be a female Impish Dragon groupie in any life time.

      • impishdragon says:

        Lethal, you are only spreading these FALSE rumors because you are jealous! You poor guy! You know I’ll share!

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