Leprechaun Laughs #104 for Wednesday 08/31


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WEDNESDAY55553332

OK folks the Laptop has gone off to Tennessee for repair. It should have arrived there Monday. Things are going to be a little off until it returns. I’m hopeful that will be before next Wednesday however to get it back to the point it was before it left is going to be at least a solid weeks spare time work as well as the point it was at represented 7 months of playing and tweaking. I have managed to back up save or migrate everything on to an ancient desktop but not everything works or looks the same which is making things publishing wise a little difficult.

We had a single day’s break in our 100 degree days run which I think stopped ay 29 and are now back to it with a vengeance. Since Friday last week our daily forecasted temp has been 103 or better. Currently we are 20 inches short on rainfall this year to date. Put another way we could have taken all that Irene dumped on New York swallows and still been below average rainfall for the year!

Now on behalf of all of you readers who have been shaken by the East Coast Quake, drowned like rats by Irene or like me boiling under oppressive and dangerous heat level…

LET’S MAKE WITH THE LAUGHING!

Iced Coffee 2

What? Its Espresso Coffee Ice Cream thinned down with more Espresso! It counts as coffee, just extremely Iced Coffee. Needs ground chocolate covered Espresso beans on top though.

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Woot! New additions to dictionary reflect today’s culture

By Phil Gast, CNN August 21, 2011 1:05 a.m. EDT

http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/08/21/dictionary.new.words/index.html?eref=rss_us&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fcnn_us+%28RSS%3A+U.S.%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher

(CNN) — Don’t be a denialist. Instead put on your jeggings (breathe in) or mankini (be careful) and retweet this article.

After all, it’s hip to be in the know on the 400 new words and phrases in the 12th edition of Concise Oxford English Dictionary, the abridged version of the Oxford English Dictionary. The smaller dictionary is meant to “cover the language of its own time.”

Beware: Not all words are built to last, wrote dictionary editor Angus Stevenson in a blog posting last week.

“Sadly, the new edition has no room for tremendous words like brabble ‘paltry noisy quarrel’ and growlery ‘place to growl in, private room, den’ — what we might call a man cave these days,” Stevenson wrote on a blog.

Some of the new words:

— cyberbullying: n. the use of electronic communication to bully a person, typically by sending messages of an intimidating or threatening nature.

— denialist: n. a person who refuses to admit the truth of a concept or proposition that is supported by the majority of scientific or historical evidence.

— jeggings: pl. n. tight-fitting stretch trousers for women, styled to resemble a pair of denim jeans.

— mankini: n. (pl. mankinis) a brief one-piece bathing garment for men, with a T-back.

— retweet: v. (on the social networking service Twitter) repost or forward (a message posted by another user). n. a reposted or forwarded message on Twitter.

— sexting: n. informal the sending of sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phone.

— woot: exclaim. informal (especially in electronic communication) used to express elation, enthusiasm, or triumph.

The dictionary also adds new definitions of familiar words.

Thought a cougar was just an ornery old cat you might encounter in the American West? By now you know a cougar also is “an older woman seeking a sexual relationship with a younger man.”

Here is a picture of a notorious California cougar with it’s prey

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12 Secrets the Beverage Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know

I’m sure its no surprise to anyone that 90% of what we buy and eat is not any good for us or that we cannot trust the FDA to protect us from potentially health endangering chemicals in your food and drinks. What is news is just how bad some of these things we deem “healthier choices” are for us. Here are some shocking highlights:

Secret #2: Ocean Spray

Ocean Spray doesn’t want you to know that its line of cranberry juice blends contains more sugar than fruit.  You might be surprised to learn that many of them contain as little as 20 percent real juice. What’s more, none of Ocean Spray’s stable of hybrid “juices” earns few than 73 percent of its calories from added sugar, and most have sugar loads closer to 85 percent. That amounts to about as much sugar as two scoops of ice cream stuffed into each 8-ounce cup of juice.

Secret #4: The Diet Soda Industry

The diet soda industry doesn’t want you to know that artificial sweeteners can make you fat. Sure, diet sodas are a step up from regular sodas, but here’s where things get thorny: Although it’s essentially calorie free, diet soda can drive your appetite and push you to overconsume calories. One theory put forth by researchers is that giving the body a rush of sugar with no calories might push it to actively seek out sources of energy. And how does your body do that? By switching your appetite into overdrive.

Secret #5: The Cocktail Industry

The cocktail industry doesn’t want you to know that high-fructose corn syrup is the primary ingredient in your libation. Tom Collins. Whiskey sour. Pina colada. What do they have in common? A massive load of sweetness waiting to highjack your blood sugar and send your body into fat-storage overdrive. From Manhattan to Margaritaville, your favorite cocktail mixer is probably saddled with twice as much sugar as your favorite soda

Secret #7: The Coffee Industry

The coffee industry doesn’t want you to know that the average latte is worse than a double-scoop ice cream cone. No source of sugar is more stealth than the caffeine kicks dished out at coffee shops across America. Even an unflavored 16-ounce latte has close to 200 calories, and for the average person that represents nearly 10 percent of your daily energy requirements. Starbucks alone sells about two dozen drinks with more than 500 calories apiece. (And that’s not even counting the absurdly indulgent and overwrought Frappucinos.) Drink something like that once a day, and you’re facing at least an extra 50 pounds of flab each year!

Secret #8: Glaceau

Glaceau doesn’t want you to know that a bottle of Vitaminwater has more sugar than a Snickers bar. And yet, through ingenious marketing, they’ve managed to pass off their product as good for you! As if the 32.5 grams of sugar they stuff into each bottle—8 teaspoons’ worth—was somehow going to improve your health. What Glaceau really wants you to think is that the sugar is negligible (it isn’t), and that the flurry of vitamins it drizzles into its bottles will improve your well-being (that’s up for debate).  If your diet is even remotely close to healthy, then you’re probably already getting all the vitamins you need. 

Secret #9: The Beer and Soda Industries

The beer and soda industries don’t want you to know that aluminum cans are lined with a toxic plastic. Bisphenol A, otherwise known as BPA, is a chemical found in plastics that has been idenitifed as a threat to your health. One study found that low doses of BPA  can suppress a hormone that protects against diabetes and obesity in human tissue. Another study discovered that BPA disrupts brain function and leads to mood disorder in monkeys. Further evidence has show it to lower sperm counts, up your risk of heart disease, and increase the risk of breast, prostate, and testicular cancers. Products containing BPA are everywhere, but do your best to avoid them.

Disrupts brain function? Hmm…from the “Beer Summit” we know Obama drinks beer. Could this explain the travesty that is his Presidency?

Secret #12: Bottled Water

The bottled water industry doesn’t want you to know that its product isn’t any better than the water that comes from your tap, which has passed strict state, federal, and local guidelines. Not to mention, it’s free. Sure, bottled water is convenient, trendy, and may well be just as pure as what comes out of your tap, but it’s hardly a smart investment for your pocketbook, your body, or our planet. With  Dasani, a Coca-Cola product, the water is simply purified tap water that’s had minerals added back in. In fact, about 40 percent of all bottled water is taken from municipal water sources, including Pepsi’s Aquafina. What’s more, in a 4-year review that included testing 1,000 bottles of water, the Natural Resources Defense Council found that “about one-third of the brands we tested contained, in at least one sample, chemical contaminants at levels above strict state health limits.” So fill up at home rather than buying into the hype.

Spend roughly $45 on a counter top water filter that attaches via a diverter to the spigot. Mine filters 3000 gallons or is good for 6 months for a cost of about $7 for the filter cartridge. While we occasionally DO buy bottled water and keep some on hand in our hurricane supplies we reuse the bottles for several weeks refilling them and placing them in a tray in the refrigerator. At roughly $3.50 for a case of twenty four 16 oz. bottles (3 gallons) verses my 3000 gallons for $7 which comes out to less than $0.01 for the same 3 gallons the filter pays for itself in no time.

Read the rest of the eye opening article here:

12 Secrets the Beverage Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know

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The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.
We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.
However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably, because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.
Now consider a gathering of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.
And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not ……. a Congress!
I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington!

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Free Firefox Add-on Makes Your Browsing Safer

Posted: 12 Aug 2011 12:55 AM PDT

Using the more secure Internet protocol HTTPS adds a layer of security to Internet connections. If you use the Firefox browser, you can install a free extension from the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) that will ensure the more secure type of connection for a variety of websites. https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere

The plugin currently works for:

  • Google Search
  • Wikipedia
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • bit.ly
  • GMX
  • WordPress.com blogs
  • The New York Times
  • Paypal
  • EFF
  • Tor
  • Ixquick
  • and many other sites!

 

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FOX NEWS BOWS TO THE PRESSURE:

Fox is already cowering down to the President.

In response to President Obama’s complaint that FOX News doesn’t show enough Black and Hispanic people on their network :

FOX has announced that they will now air ” America ‘s Most Wanted” TWICE a week.

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny!

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Well I promised some summer crockpot recipes to help keep things cooler inside but still provide good eats. Took a couple weeks longer than I had wanted but here are a dozen plus which are largely good any time of the year and require no more than 20 minutes prep time.

Slow- Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

    Prep Time: 20 mins
    Cook Time: 8 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 8 hrs 20 mins
    Serves: 8
 

BONELESS, SKINLESS CHICKEN THIGHS BECOME MOIST AND TENDER IN THE SLOW COOKER, AND THEY ELIMINATE THE NEED TO FISH OUT STRAY BONES THAT CAN SEPARATE FROM CHICKEN PARTS DURING COOKING.

Ingredients

    2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs, each cut into quarters
    1 medium yellow onion, coarsely chopped
    1 large red bell pepper, coarsely chopped
    1 cup white mushrooms, halved
    1 can (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes
    1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste
    1 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth
    1/2 cup red wine
    3 cloves garlic, minced
    1 bay leaf
    2 tablespoons fresh or 2 teaspoons dried parsley
    2 teaspoons salt-free Italian seasoning

    1/2 teaspoon salt
    1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    12 ounces rotini or linguine pasta

Directions
1. COMBINE the chicken, onion, bell pepper, mushrooms, crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, broth, wine, garlic, bay leaf, parsley, seasoning, salt, and black pepper in a large slow cooker. Cover and cook on high for 3 hours. Remove the lid and cook for 1 hour longer to thicken the sauce. Alternatively, cook on low for 8 hours, remove the lid, and cook for 2 hours longer.
2. PREPARE the pasta according to package directions approximately 30 minutes before serving.
3. REMOVE the bay leaf from the chicken mixture and serve the chicken and sauce over the pasta.

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Slow cooker Italian beef for sandwiches

    Prep Time: 15 mins
    Cook Time: 12 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 12 hrs 15 mins
    Serves: 10
   

This makes a sandwich similar to one I used to get at a local restaurant when I lived in a suburb of Chicago. My all time favorite! Serve on crusty rolls with roasted sweet or hot peppers.

Ingredients

    3 cup(s) water
    1 teaspoon(s) salt
    1 teaspoon(s) ground black pepper
    1 teaspoon(s) dried oregano
    1 teaspoon(s) dried basil
    1 teaspoon(s) onion salt
    1 teaspoon(s) dried parsley
    1 teaspoon(s) garlic powder
    1 bay leaf
    1 package dry italian-style salad dressing mix
    5 pound(s) rump roast

Directions
1. Combine water with salt, ground black pepper, oregano, basil, onion salt, parsley, garlic powder, bay leaf, and salad dressing mix in a saucepan. Stir well, and bring to a boil.
2. Place roast in slow cooker, and pour salad dressing mixture over the meat.
3. Cover, and cook on low for 10 to 12 hours, or on high for 4 to 5 hours. When done, remove bay leaf, and shred meat with a fork.

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Slow cooker smothered beef and rice

    Prep Time: 20 mins
    Cook Time: 6 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 6 hrs 20 mins
    Serves: 6
 
Ingredients

    2 pound(s) beef tenderloin
    1 can/jar(s) 10.75 oz reduced fat cream of mushroom soup
    1 can/jar(s) 15 oz reduced fat/sodium veggie broth
    2 tablespoon(s) whole wheat flour
    4 ounce(s) water
    1 teaspoon(s) salt/pepper/garlic to taste

Directions
1. Place thawed beef tenderloin in slow cooker. Make sure you spray the cooker pot with cooking spray first. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic.
2. In a mixing bowl mix together cream of mushroom soup and veggie broth. Blend well. Pour mixture over the beef.
3. Cook 4-6 hours on low. Twenty minutes before serving mix flour and water and add to the cooker to thicken.

Serve over rice with Stir fried or steamed Broccoli

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Slow cooker ratatouille

    Prep Time: 15 mins
    Cook Time: 45 mins
    Total Time: 1 hrs 0 mins
    Serves: 8
 

Just like the traditional peasant stew but prepared in a slow cooker. My daughter says “that’s not how they make it in the movie”.

Ingredients

    2 tablespoon(s) butter
    3 piece(s) (cloves) garlic minced
    2 cup(s) yellow onions thin sliced
    1 pound(s) zucchini diced large
    1 pound(s) eggplant peeled and diced large
    2 tablespoon(s) flour
    2 cup(s) red peppers cut in strips
    1 pound(s) cherry tomatoes
    2 tablespoon(s) salt
    1 teaspoon(s) pepper
    1 tablespoon(s) honey

Directions
1.
Place a heavy bottom pan on a burner melt the butter and saute the garlic and onions for about 8 minutes until they are almost caramelized.
2. Add this mixture to the slow cooker. Sprinkle zucchini ahd eggplant with flour. Place half of the zucchini eggplant and red peppers in the cooker. Cover and cook 20 minutes stir occasionally. As mixture softens add the rest of the zucchini, eggplant, and peppers. Season with the salt, pepper and honey then add in the tomatoes. Cook for about 20 more minutes. Should make a stew that looks and tastes like ratatouille.

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Slow cooker stuffed salsa peppers

    Prep Time: 15 mins
    Cook Time: 6 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 6 hrs 15 mins
    Serves: 6
   

Southwestern flavored stuffed bell peppers cook up slow and tasty in the crockpot. Fast to prep and ready when you are. Just in time for dinner!
Ingredients

    1 pound(s) lean ground chicken
    1 cup(s) uncooked rice
    3 ounce(s) pepper jack cheese, chopped
    3 scalllions, chopped
    1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
    2 teaspoon(s) salt free extra spicy or southwest seasoning
    6 large green bell peppers
    2 can/jar(s) 14.5 oz salt-free or low sodium diced tomatoes
    1 jalapeno chili pepper, finely chopped
    1 can/jar(s) 14.5 oz low sodium low fat chicken broth
    1 can/jar(s) 6 oz no salt added or low sodium tomato paste

Directions
1. In a large bowl mix ground meat, rice, cheese, scallions, salt and 1 1/2 tsp seasoning blend. Set aside.
2. Wash and dry the bell peppers. Slice off the tops and set them aside. Remove seeds and pulp from each pepper and place on a dish. Stuff peppers and place in the crockpot add rest of the ingredients. Cook on low till done. Baste as needed.

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Santa Fe Chicken

    Prep Time: 10 mins
    Cook Time: 4 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 4 hrs 10 mins
    Serves: 4
   

Ingredients

    1 can (15 ounces) no-salt-added black beans, rinsed and drained
    1 jar (16 ounces) fresh salsa, from the supermarket
    1 teaspoon dried oregano
    3/4 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, cut to 3-ounce portions
    1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
    1/4 cup chopped cilantro
    1 cup shredded reduced-fat monterey jack cheese

Directions
1. Combine the beans, salsa, and oregano in a 3-to 6-quart slow cooker. Top with the chicken breasts and sprinkle with the cumin. Cover and cook on high for 3 1/2 to 4 hours or on low for 7 to 8 hours.
2. Place 1 chicken portion on each of 4 plates. Stir the cilantro into the bean mixture. Divide over the chicken and sprinkle with the cheese.

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Mediterranean Lentil Stew

    Prep Time: 25 mins
    Cook Time: 6 hrs 40 mins
    Total Time: 7 hrs 5 mins
    Serves: 6
  

This legume stew tastes as robust as any prepared with meat. A crispy mixed green salad with creamy Parmesan dressing is a fast and tasty side dish.

Ingredients

    4 cups vegetable broth
    1 pound dry lentils, rinsed and drained
    3/4 cup chopped onion
    3/4 cup bagged baby carrots, quartered
    3/4 cup chopped celery
    1/4 cup olive oil (preferably extra-virgin)
    1 1/2 tablespoons preminced oil-packed garlic
    1 1/2 teaspoons italian seasoning
    1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
    1/4 teaspoon salt
    balsamic vinegar
    pregrated Romano cheese

Directions
1. Coat the inside of a 3 1/2-quart slow cooker pot with cooking spray.
2. Add the broth, lentils, onion, carrots, celery, oil, garlic, Italian seasoning, pepper, and salt to the pot. Stir to combine. Cover and cook on the low-heat setting for 7 to 8 hours.
3. Drizzle each serving with vinegar and sprinkle with cheese to taste.
4. Note: Mediterranean Lentil Stew can be cooked on the high-heat setting for 3 1/2 to 4 hours.

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Braised Vegetables With Polenta Dumplings

    Prep Time: 12 mins
    Cook Time: 5 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 5 hrs 12 mins
    Serves: 6

This is one of those lazy meals to make on a weekend afternoon when you’re at home. The slow cooker does most of the work. All you have to do is stirfry the broccoli just before serving so it keeps its bright color and crisp texture.
Ingredients

    1 can (15 ounces) Italian-seasoned tomato sauce
    1/2 cup dry red wine
    3 tablespoons flour
    1 1/2 teaspoons dried rosemary
    3/4 teaspoon salt
    3/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
    2 large sweet potatoes (1 1/4 pounds), cut into large chunks
    1 bag (1 pound) frozen pearl onions
    1 package (10 ounces) small brown mushrooms
    2 tablespoons olive oil
    2 bags (8 ounces each) broccoli florets, cut into walnut-size chunks
    1 tube (1 pound) refrigerated basil-garlic polenta, cut into 1″ chunks

Directions
1. Coat the inside of a 3 1/2-quart slow-cooker pot with cooking spray.
2. Combine the tomato sauce, wine, flour, rosemary, salt, and pepper in the pot. Whisk until smooth. Add the sweet potatoes, onions, and mushrooms. Stir to coat evenly with the sauce. Cover and cook on the low-heat setting for 5 to 6 hours.
3. In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the broccoli. Toss. Cover and cook, tossing occasionally, for 2 to 3 minutes, or until the broccoli is crisp-tender. Add the slow cooker mixture. Stir to combine. Place the polenta pieces over the skillet mixture. Cover and simmer over medium heat for about 8 minutes, or until the polenta is heated through.
4. Note: To use the high-heat setting, cook for 2 1/2 to 3 hours.

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Un- Stuffed Cabbage

    Prep Time: 5 mins
    Cook Time: 5 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 5 hrs 5 mins
    Serves: 6
  

Meat-and-rice-stuffed cabbage leaves can make a wonderful homey meal, but it requires time and patience to stuff and wrap each leaf separately. This dish
retains all those robust ingredients but takes a mere 5 minutes of hands-on time to prepare.
Ingredients

    1 can (14 ounces) diced pepper-onion-seasoned tomatoes
    2 tablespoons tomato paste
    1 tablespoon preminced oil-packed garlic
    1 teaspoon salt
    1 1/2 teaspoons ground black pepper
    2 bags (10 ounces each) preshredded green cabbage
    1 1/4 pounds garlic turkey-sausage patties or links, broken into walnut-size chunks
    1 cup prechopped onion
    1/2 cup instant brown rice
    1 cup chopped fresh parsley

Directions
1. Coat the inside of a 5- to 6-quart slow cooker pot with cooking spray.
2. Combine the tomatoes, tomato paste, garlic, salt, and pepper in the pot. Stir to mix. Add the cabbage, sausage, onion, and rice. Stir to mix. Cover and cook on the low-heat setting for 5 to 6 hours. Add the parsley.
3. Note: Mild Italian turkey sausage can replace the garlic turkey sausage. Un-Stuffed Cabbage can be cooked on the high-heat setting for 2 1/2 to 3 hours.

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Cabbage and Sausage Stew With Rice

    Prep Time: 10 mins
    Cook Time: 5 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 5 hrs 10 mins
    Serves: 6
   

Ingredients

    1 can (14.5 oz) seasoned diced tomatoes
    2 tbsp tomato paste
    1 tbsp minced garlic
    1 1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
    1 cup chopped onion
    2 bags (10 oz each) shredded green cabbage
    1 1/4 lb turkey sausage links or patties, cut into 1″ chunks
    1/2 cup instant brown rice
    1 cup chopped parsley

Directions
1. Coat 4-quart or larger slow cooker with cooking spray. Add tomatoes, tomato paste, garlic, and pepper. Stir to combine.
2. Add onion, cabbage, sausage, and rice. Mix well.
3. Cover. Cook on low 5 to 6 hours or on high 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Stir in parsley and serve.

Change this up by using broccoli slaw instead of package Cole’s Slaw mix or shredded cabbage

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Turkey- Sausage Cassoulet

    Prep Time: 10 mins
    Cook Time: 7 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 7 hrs 10 mins
    Serves: 6
   

The genuine bean-and-mixed-meat casserole of southwestern France is truly a labor of love. With this no-work version, the love stays in, but the labor
evaporates.
Ingredients

    1 cup pchopped onion
    3/4 cup bagged baby carrots, halved
    1/4 cup olive oil (preferably extra-virgin)
    2 tablespoons preminced oil-packed garlic
    1 1/4 pounds Italian turkey sausage, cut into 2″ lengths
    1 can (15 ounces) tomato sauce
    2 teaspoons herbes de Provence
    1 teaspoon ground black pepper
    2 cans (15 ounces each) great Northern beans, rinsed and drained
    1/2 cup (2 ounces) bagged precooked crumbled bacon

Directions
1.
In an 8″ x 8″ microwaveable baking dish, combine the onion, carrots, oil, and garlic. Cover with plastic wrap, leaving a small corner vent. Microwave on high power for 4 minutes, or until sizzling. Set aside.
2.
Coat the inside of a 3 1/2-quart slow cooker pot with cooking spray. Add the sausage, tomato sauce, herbes, pepper, and the reserved onion mixture. Stir to combine. Cover and cook on the low-heat setting for 7 to 8 hours. Add the beans to the pot in the last hour of cooking. Stir gently to combine.
3.
Place the bacon on a microwaveable plate. Microwave on high power for 1 minute, or until sizzling. Sprinkle on each serving.
4.
Note: To use the high-heat setting, cook for 3 1/2 to 4 hours.

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Jammin’ Jambalaya

    Prep Time: 10 mins
    Cook Time: 8 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 8 hrs 10 mins
    Serves: 6
   

This notoriously spicy Creole dish combines meat, seafood, poultry, rice, and whatever vegetables happen to be lying around the kitchen. Our extra satisfying version uses turkey sausage (instead of pork) to lower the fat content by about 16 grams per link and brown rice to add 4 more grams of fiber to the pot. This hefty dose of satiating protein and healthy whole grains will keep you from heading back to the fridge for a midnight snack.
Ingredients

    1 large onion, peeled and diced
    3 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
    2 stalks celery, diced
    2 carrots, diced
    2 medium size sweet red peppers
    1 can (15 oz) crushed tomatoes
    1 C long grain brown rice
    1 package (12 oz) andouille turkey (or chicken) sausage, cut into 1/2 inch thick rounds
    1 tsp hot sauce
    2 tbsp fresh thyme, minced (or 2 tsp dried)
    1 tsp sea salt
    1/2 tsp ground black pepper
    2 C water
    3 tbsp fresh parsley, minced
    1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined

Directions
1. Place onion, garlic, celery, carrots, peppers, tomatoes, rice, and sausage in the crockpot in that order.
2. Add hot sauce, thyme, salt, pepper, and water.
3. Cover and cook on low for 8 to 9 hours.
4. One hour before it’s finished cooking, toss in parsley and shrimp. Stir until well combined, adding more water if needed.

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Autumn Harvest Minestrone

    Prep Time: 20 mins
    Cook Time: 9 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 9 hrs 20 mins
    Serves: 6

Ingredients

    2 cans (15 oz each) cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
    2 cans (14 1/2 oz each) fat free, reduced sodium chicken broth
    3 C (1/2″ chunks) butternut squash (1 lb)
    1 can (14 1/2 oz) diced tomatoes
    2 med turnips, peeled and cut into 1/2″ chunks
    1 med parsnip, peeled, quartered, and sliced 1/4″ thick
    2 C bagged coleslaw mix
    1 lg leek (white and light green parts), sliced
    1 tbsp minced garlic
    1 C (packed) fresh basil
    1/3 C fresh parsley
    1/4 C grated Parmesan cheese
    3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
    1/4 tsp salt
    1/4 tsp black pepper
    2 tbsp water

Directions
1. In 4 quart or larger slow cooker mix beans, broth, squash, tomatoes (with juice), turnips, parsnip, coleslaw, leek, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of the garlic. Cover and cook on low 7 to 9 hours or until vegetables are tender.
2. In blender, mix basil, parsley, cheese, oil, salt, pepper, water, and remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons garlic until smooth. Scrape into small bowl and refrigerate.
3. To serve, ladle soup into serving bowls and top with a heaping tablespoon of basil sauce.

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Tuscan lamb shanks

    Prep Time: 15 mins
    Cook Time: 6 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 6 hrs 15 mins
    Serves: 4
   

This often overlooked combination of lamb shanks slow cooked with tomatoes, olives, garlic, artichokes and white beans and a savory sauce for dunking, is a Tuscan specialty.

Ingredients

    4 lamb shanks, 3/4 to 1 pound each
    1/4 teaspoon(s) each salt and pepper
    1 tablespoon(s) olive oil
    1 tablespoon(s) minced or grated garlic
    1 can/jar(s) 28 oz plum tomatoes with juices
    1 cup(s) chicken broth
    1 cup(s) sliced sun-dried tomatoes
    1/2 cup(s) kalamata olives
    1 tablespoon(s) chopped rosemary
    1 can/jar(s) 15 oz cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
    1 can/jar(s) 12 oz marinated artichokes, well drained
    1 cup(s) frozen green peas
    1/4 cup(s) chopped fresh parsley

Directions
1. Season lamb with salt and pepper. Heat oil in a heavy skillet over medium-high heat and add shanks, 2 at a time, Cook until brown on both sides. Transfer to a slow cooker.
2. Add garlic, plum tomatoes, broth, sun-dried tomatoes, olives and rosemary to the lamb, breaking up plum tomatoes with a spoon. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours or until lamb is tender. Stir in drained beans, drained artichokes and peas. Cover and cook for another 15 minutes.
3. Serve in wide bowls with a loaf of crusty Italian bread for dunking.

I see no reason why beef shanks could not be used either or short ribs. Granted that might not be authentic Tuscan but I promise your taste buds and stomach won’t mind.

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French Pot Roast

    Prep Time: 12 mins
    Cook Time: 4 hrs 6 mins
    Total Time: 4 hrs 18 mins
    Serves: 4
 

Every culture has its version of pot roast, that amazing slow-cooked amalgamation of hearty meat and vegetable chunks and flavorful broth. When it comes to picking the best rendition, I have to side with Julia Child, who believed the French boeuf bourguignonne was the world’s finest pot roast. Here’s an easy, healthy version to tackle.

Ingredients

    2 strips bacon, cut into 1/2″ pieces
    1/4 cup flour
    salt and black pepper to taste
    2 lb chuck roast, excess fat removed, cut into 1″ pieces
    1/2 bottle dry red wine
    2 cups low-sodium beef broth
    2 tbsp tomato paste
    2 bay leaves
    2 cups frozen pearl onions
    1/2 lb button mushrooms, stems removed
    1 cup frozen peas

Directions
1. Preheat a large skillet or nonstick saute pan over medium-high heat. Cook the bacon until the fat is rendered and the bacon is crisp. Remove the bacon with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels; set aside. Leave the pan on the heat.
2. Combine the flour and plenty of salt and pepper in a sealable plastic bag. Working in batches, add the beef and shake until the pieces are lightly covered; remove the beef from the bag and shake off the excess flour. Add the pieces to the hot pan and cook until all sides are golden brown.
3. Remove the beef and add to a slow cooker. When all the beef has been browned, add 1 cup wine to the hot pan and scrape up any brown bits from the bottom with a wooden spoon. Pour over the beef, along with the rest of the wine, the tomato paste, bay leaves, and bacon pieces.
4.  Set the slow cooker to high and cook for 4 hours, until the beef is tender and falls apart with pressure from a fork. In the last 30 minutes of cooking, add the pearl onions and mushrooms. Right before serving, add the peas and simmer for a few minutes to cook through. Discard the bay leaves.
5. Serve the stew by itself or over mashed potatoes or buttered egg noodles with a good ladle of the cooking broth.

Spoon barrier3

Guinness- Braised Short Ribs

    Prep Time: 13 mins
    Cook Time: 4 hrs 12 mins
    Total Time: 4 hrs 25 mins
    Serves: 4
    Average Rating: 4/5

Beer and beef make a masterful match in this easy, hearty, slow-cooker stew.
Works equally well with beef shanks or any tougher cut of beef

Ingredients

    2 lb boneless beef short ribs
    salt and black pepper
    1 tbsp canola oil
    2 cans or bottles Guinness Draught
    2 cups beef broth
    3 large carrots, peeled and cut into large chunks
    2 onions, quartered
    2 celery stalks, cut into large chunks
    8 garlic cloves, peeled
    2 bay leaves
    Gremolata, optional *(see below)

Directions
1.
Season the short ribs with salt and pepper, and add the oil to a large saute pan over high heat. When the oil is hot, add the ribs; cook them, turning occasionally, until they’re browned all over, about 10 minutes total. Transfer the ribs to a slow cooker.
2.
While the pan is still hot, deglaze it by pouring in the beer and scraping up any brown bits. Then pour the beer and bits over the ribs in the slow cooker.
3.
Add the remaining ingredients to the slow cooker and turn it on high. Cook the ribs until they’re nearly falling apart, about 4 hours. Serve the stew over soft polenta or mashed potatoes; sprinkle with gremolata if you like.

*Gremolata: A Burst of Flavor

Gremolata is a combination of lemon zest, garlic, parsley, and olive oil. Traditionally an addition to Osso Bucco (braised veal shanks), it is also great as a garnish on grilled or roasted lamb, pork chops, beef, and even roasted potatoes. Gremolata is best made fresh, it doesn’t keep for more than a day, but is also best if it has an hour or so before serving for the flavors to meld. Fortunately it only takes about 5 minutes to make.

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes
Ingredients:

    Zest of one large lemon*
    1 lg. or 2 sm. cloves garlic; crushed
    2 Tbsp. finely chopped parsley
    1 tsp. olive oil
    1/2 tsp. salt
    1/4 tsp. ground black pepper

Preparation:

Thoroughly combine all in ingredients in a small bowl, cover with plastic, and refrigerate for an hour.

*Note: Lemon zest is the outer yellow peel of a lemon. When zesting a lemon, be careful not to include any of the white pith below the skin because it’s bitter. You can use a vegetable peeler to cut strips of peel and then finely chop them, but the best tool for the job is a  grater.

Spoon barrier3

Picante Chicken

    Prep Time: 10 mins
    Cook Time: 3 hrs 0 mins
    Total Time: 3 hrs 10 mins
    Serves: 4
   

Throw together this zesty dish before heading out for the day and you’ll come home to a warm, delicious meal. Serve with baked corn chips as an alternative to the rice.

Ingredients

    1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips
    8 ounces sliced mushrooms
    1 can (2.25 ounces) sliced black olives, drained
    1 jar (8 ounces) picante sauce
    2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
    2 tablespoons yellow mustard
    2 cups hot cooked long-grain brown rice

Directions
1. Place the chicken, mushrooms, olives, sauce, broth, and mustard in a 3- to 6-quart slow cooker and stir to combine. Cook on high for 3 to 4 hours or on low for 6 to 8 hours. Serve over the rice.

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An old Irish farmer’s dog goes missing and he’s inconsolable.
His wife says “Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
“What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks.
“Here boy” he replies.

Irishbanner
Paddy’s in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
“What the hell you doing?” he asks.
“Hanging myself” Paddy replies.
“It should be around your neck” says the Guard.
“I know” says Paddy “but I couldn’t breathe”.

 Irishbanner
An answer I can understand. An American tourist asks an Irishman: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the Irishman replies: “If they fell forwards, they’d still be in the bloody boat.”

 

wicked wednesdays wench

CMO_00001

hnChRT1311546561_thumb3_thumb

As a man ages, it is natural that his hair starts thinning.
It is a well-known fact that when a man is bald at the front
of his head, it’s because he’s a great thinker.
Also, when a man is bald at the back of his head, it’s
because he’s sexy.
Unfortunately, when a man is bald both front and back, he
only thinks he’s sexy…

“Have you heard of the new book entitled “1001 Sex Secrets Men Should Know?”

It contains comments from 1001 different women on how men can be better
in bed. I think that women would actually settle for three:

Slow down, Turn off the TV, and Call out the right name.”

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10 Ways to Eat Your Caffeine

Put down that Red Bull! With caffeinated foods you no longer have to suffer the horrid taste of many energy drinks to get your daily buzz

NEW YORK (MainStreet) — While energy drinks keep coming to stores in all shapes and sizes, sluggish consumers can be forgiven for not being able to stomach the strange sweetness of yet another Red Bull Lite or five-hour energy drink.

Thankfully the world of caffeinated consumables has evolved way beyond the energy drink in the past few years. Nowadays, you can get simple snack foods such as popcorn and beef jerky laced with caffeine, or any number of sweets and candies with a built-in energy boost.

The point is that you don’t need to drop $5 on a latte every day for a short-lived burst of caffeine. Read on to find out about 10 products you can eat that will get you the caffeine boost you need. We have included caffeine counts for each one.

For reference, the U.S. Department of Agriculture gives an average caffeine content of 95 mg per 8-ounce cup of brewed drip coffee.

As you’ll see, some of these foods blow that cup of coffee clear out of the water.

http://business-news.thestreet.com/new-haven-register/story/10-ways-to-eat-your-caffeine/11224181?nstrack=sid:5925538|met:100|cat:3226255|order:2

image_thumb21

This guy goes to Amsterdam to videotape a presentation. While
staying in his hotel he finds an awesome porn channel on the TV,
but, alas, he has no VCR or way to record it.
With a flash of inspiration, he sets up his video camera, points it
at the TV, and tapes a few hours of hard core video.
On arriving home, he tells his best friend about the trip. The
conversation gets around to the porn tape and the man lends his
friend the tape.
A couple of days later, the friend returns the tape. “Did, ahh, did
you watch your tape?”
“No. I was watching the original. Wasn’t any need to see the
tape.”
“Well, uhh, before you lend it out again, maybe you should watch
it,” the friend advises.
The guy did as he was advised. And never lent out the tape again.
You see, the fella had forgotten to take into account the
*reflective* nature of a television screen . . .

image_thumb5

A man with a involuntary winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled.

Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we’re afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I’m sorry…. we can’t hire you.”

“But wait,” the man says. “If I take two aspirin, I’ll stop winking!”

“Really? Great! Show me!”

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

“Well,” said the interviewer, “that’s all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country!”

“Womanizing? What do you mean? I’m a happily married man!”

“Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?”

“Oh, that,” he sighed. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”

image_thumb8

Three Irishmen, drunk as can be, come staggering down the street
singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs. They stopped in front
of Flaherty’s house still singing. After a few minutes, the window
flies open and Mrs. Flaherty yells out, “Why don’t you drunken sots
go somewhere else?!” “Are you Mrs. Flaherty?” asks one of the
drunks. “You know damn well I am,” she says. “Well, can you tell
us which one of us is your husband so the other two of us can go
home?”

Dl---Hazmat-Groaner_thumb7

Did you hear about the Arab baker?
Every morning at 6:00 a.m. he’d bow to the yeast.

image

Little Bobby comes running into the house from playing outside yelling, “Mommy, Mommy, I just screwed Mary Jane.”
His mother is mortified, she tells him, “Bobby, that’s not very nice, here’s a cookie go on outside and play.”
About 15 minutes later same thing happens. Again the mother tells Bobby that he should not talk like that. Gives him another cookie and sends him back out to play.
Well, 15 minutes later Bobby comes in again yelling, “Mommy, I just screwed Mary Jane.”
The father has been reading the paper in the Den jumps up and runs into the kitchen to grab a frying pan. The mother says, “Bob, don’t hit him, he’s just a little boy.”
The father says, “Hit him, Hit him? Hell, I’m going to fry him some bacon and eggs. He can’t screw all day on cookies!”

image

Impish & Lethal were discussing life in general over drinks one night.

“Me granddad lived to be 96.” allowed Lethal

“Ninety-six? What finally got him?” asked Impish

“Liquor and women. ‘Twas very sad all around.”

“Well, that just goes to show ya,” snickered Impish, “both will get you in the end.”

“Well actually, no, it’s nae what ya be thinkin’. Towards the end, Grandda couldn’t get either one, so he just laid down and died.”

image

This morning on I-45, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new LEXIS doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned me Shillelagh and McGoogles, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!

!cid_1_640329308@web36904_mail_mud_yahoo

 

Three Day Silence

My wife has not spoken to me in three days.

I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, “Wake up, wake up!”

“What’s the matter”? I asked.

“There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they’re eating the tuna casserole I made tonight.”

“That’ll teach them!” I replied.

image_thumb2

Well I had ta bloody well think o’ something, ‘twas self preservation! See, Molly doesn’t cook in our house I do!

 

image

Ice Man Cometh

During the summers in the early 1940’s, my uncle Harry, a young man working his way through college, was working as an ice man and drove an ice truck up and down the streets and alleys on the north side of Chicago looking for the “Ice Cards” hung on the screen doors and windows of the residents who wished to purchase ice for their ice boxes.

The cards usually had 4 settings; 25 lbs, 50 lbs, 75 lbs and 100 lbs.

image

It was a poor time, the country just coming out of the depression and facing the start of WW II.

There were two spinster sisters that lived alone on the second floor of a frame wooden house on our block and they sometimes would display their ice card in the window for 25 lbs.

My uncle, knew they could never scrape together the money to pay their bill but he always stopped and took all the broken ice pieces off his truck and carried it up to their place and packed it in their small wooden ice box.

One day, towards the end of summer, after he had packed their box, one of the sisters stepped out on the back porch and asked to speak to him. She seemed a bit shy and seemed flushed in embarrassment, “Young man, my sister and I know you have helped us this summer with the ice, even when knowing we could not pay. We’ve read in books recently that sometimes women offer their bodies for sex in exchange for favors. Well, since we have not been able to raise any money, we decided to do that for you and since I am the youngest I am offering myself.”

Well, my uncle always claimed that he tried to convince her that it wasn’t necessary, but knowing him, that’s highly doubtful. He said after she insisted, he finally gave in, and then they supposedly went at it with youthful fervor.

Afterwards, he thanked the woman and dressed, took out his receipt book and wrote “Paid In Full” and handed it to the sister.

“Now, look here young man, we got that ice a little piece at a time and we damn well intend paying for it the same way!”

!cid_1_640018521@web36907_mail_mud_yahoo

The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees. She explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later, the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest.

Little Johnny — at the back of the class — put his hand up and asks the teacher, “Are you
sure about the stork, miss? I think you’re getting your birds mixed up. “My big sister just got a little baby and she said it came from a black pecker at the beach!”

 

image

The most functional English word

Well, it’s shit … that’s right, shit!

 

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can’t tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it’s the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don’t need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don’t give a shit!

Well, Shit, it’s time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head……….

Well, Shit Happens!!!


Last  Parting Shot Scope on Man
 

!cid_1_640014229@web36905_mail_mud_yahoo

!cid_X_MA4_1311729253@aol

Irish TExan Sig

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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One Response to Leprechaun Laughs #104 for Wednesday 08/31

  1. paul says:

    great job

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