Dragon Laffs #1232


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Tresspasser2_thumb[1]Good Morning Campers…  It’s Saturday!  The day we should all be sleeping in, regretting what we did the night before.   So, here it is … 520 am and I’m not sleeping in, I’m on my way to work…
So rest easy there campers, Impish is on Duty…and when you wake up, you will all be able to partake in the ancient and honorable rite of…
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Congressional Black Caucus chair Emanuel Cleaver called the final debt
ceiling deal a “sugar-coated Satan sandwich.Really? Doesn’t that title
already belong to the Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger?
(Yes, it is a burger using doughnuts as buns.)


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CNN Poll:
The way Congress behaved over the debt ceiling debate:
Acted as responsible adults: 14%
Acted as spoiled children: 84%
Undecided: 2%


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Colorado Rep. Doug Lamborn apologized for calling President Obama a
“tar baby.” and said he “absolutely intended no offense.” Really?
With the term “tar baby?” This settles it. Lamborn is either a liar or an idiot.

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President Obama and George W. Bush agreed to appear at Ground Zero
next month on the tenth anniversary of the World Trade Center attack. What
a scene. They’ll be standing on the rubble of the U.S. economy, pointing
at one another and vowing that we will get whoever did this.

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Bill Clinton endorsed New York’s same-sex marriage law on Monday
although he opposed same-sex marriage when he was president. Forget
the logic. Gay groups won’t accuse him of inconsistency because,
to be fair, Bill Clinton opposed his own marriage when he was president.

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Some Really Good Questions!

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack?

6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” Mean the same thing?

8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

10. Why are they called ” stands” when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?

12.. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

15. Why is “phonics” Not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18.. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed And have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder On the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?


28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?


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My wife’s been very concerned about my drinking, so she brought it up to the doctor.

The doctor told me I had to cut down to just ONE beer per week!

I was devastated!

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I feel much better now!


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Now you’ll see why you should not hold anything for a fellow traveller or stranger, not even an old auntie or uncle or pregnant lady.

‘Cause you may end up “Digantung sampai mati”(hang to death) for illegal drug trafficking.

Lesson: Never…Never ever carry anything from any strangers in the airport.


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You wouldn’t think that Gas Station Attendant would be that dangerous of a job…


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Innuendo

Motivational Computer Illiterate

Motivational Cool Friends


A new report shows that the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation gave away $2.5
billion last year. That’s enough for the federal government to run for a whole hour!


Thousands of donors pay more than $30K each to attend fundraisers in honor
of President Obama’s 50th birthday. For that money, each donor got dinner,
a picture with the president, and their very own IRS agent.


The bad news is the U.S. debt has now Reached 100 Percent of our GDP. The
good news is our GDP is about to collapse, so our debt will go down with it!


A plan by government health officials calls for dedicated blood donors
to be tapped to give blood again in as little as two days during a national
disaster. Because they know how to get every last drop of blood, the
program will be handed over to the IRS.


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Today’s Last Word…

Is from the New York Times Political section…

”The debate over raising the debt ceiling, which brought the nation to the brink of default, has sent disapproval of Congress to it’s highest level on record and left most Americans saying that creating jobs should now take priority over cutting spending, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News Poll.”

A record 82% of Americans disapprove of the way Congress is handling its job.  This is the highest ever since the Times started tracking this in 1977, and it’s even higher than 1995 when politics led to an actual shutdown of the federal government.

The recent political debate was: More about gaining political advantage than what was best for the country80%+
The debate had harmed the image of the United States: 75%+
Who did you disapprove of during the debate: 72% disapproved of the way Republicans handled it.
66% disapproved of the way Democrats handled it.
(Pssst!  That means a significant number of people disapproved of the way BOTH parties handled the debate.  You can include me in that category!)
How did Mr. Obama handle it? 47% disapproved
46% approved
How do you now view the Tea-Party Movement: 40% Unfavorably (Up from 29% in mid April)
26% Favorably
Do you support raising taxes on those households earning $250,000 a year or more? 63% over all agreed
80% of Democrats
61% of Independents
52% of Republicans
Cut Spending or Create Jobs? 62% said create jobs!

And with a GREAT Article from the Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)

Americans Say Dump Entire Congress: Poll

NEW YORK (TheStreet) — A whopping 62% of Americans would dump all current legislators in Congress if they could vote today, according to a new poll, which might surprise no one as the story was almost the same in the 2010 midterm elections.

A poll released Thursday by Rasmussen Reports found that voters continued to have abysmalconfidence in their local representatives, while only 15% of telephone respondents said they would keep the existing House.

The 2010 Congressional elections saw Democrats lose 63 seats in the House in an American referendum that triggered a 36% swing of power back to the Republicans.

Apparently, U.S. voters’ frustration wasn’t swayed by the nasty debt-ceiling debates that embroiled Congress for more than a month.

“During the debt ceiling debacle, voters listened to members of Congress like they were the boy who cried wolf,” said Scott Rasmussen, president of Rasmussen Reports. “While official Washington obsessed over the minute-by-minute silliness, voters expected all along that the debt ceiling would be raised without making significant spending cuts.”

The telephone survey was conducted nationally on July 30 and 31 among 1,000 likely voters.

On July 26, Rasmussen found that a paltry 6% of Americans approved of the job Congress was doing.

— Written by Joe Deaux in New York.

The election is coming!  Don’t blow your chance!  Get out there and vote!

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