Good Morning Campers!
Yup, it’s a real, live issue of Dragon Laffs. Full of fun and laughter, grace and wit and of course, the Recommended Minimum Daily Allowance (RMDA)of sarcasm, vitamin B-26, and informative, authoritative bovine excrement (High Powered B.S.).
Thank you all for all your well wishes and prayers. And speaking of prayers, I think I know what part of my problem is…I know, the list is so long…but I’m talking about my low blood sugars. I’m eating properly, cutting down on my medication, losing weight and yet I’m still getting low blood sugars, why is that? It’s because some of you out there are praying too hard and have got me practically healed of diabetes and now the medicine that is supposed to help me is trying to kill me. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want you guys to stop, but let’s start doing it slowly and together with the doctor and if that is the way the good Lord wishes it to be, then I will be more than happy to be miraculously healed. I haven’t taken my insulin in two days (under doctor’s orders) and my fasting blood sugar this morning was 136. Now, I know some of you won’t understand what that means, but it’s good.
Anyway, back to the serious stuff for a minute…
on Tuesday, after the funeral, the Miami County Sherriff’s Office, Indiana State Police, Peru Police, all the area Fire Departments, etc, etc, etc. Got together, in the snow, to say good bye to Sherriff Kenneth Roland. Our dear friend will be sorely missed.
The pictures are courtesy of the Peru Tribune Web site…
Now, let’s move on to the fun and mirth…
9. “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on
fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in
the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be
lost in time, like tears in rain, and you’re telling me I
can’t exchange this sweater without a friggin’ gift receipt?
8. “Ridiculous this is! Need platform shoes I do not!”
7. “This doesn’t fit, it was made for two. How could he not
notice that I have four breasts? He stares at them all the
6. “Do you have these ear muffs in ‘pointy?'”
5. “The squadron gets a toaster every year. Yeah, I get it.
Cylons do have a sense of humor after all.”
4. “Why does Ensign Uhura insist on giving me massage oil and
this book called the ‘Kama Sutra’? Does she not know that the
pon farr will not happen for another six years for me?”
3. “The Doctor says I got him the same thing next year.”
2. “Not only is this not my size, it doesn’t even have the right
number of sleeves.”
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at
the Sci-Fi Gift Exchange Counter…
1. “I want to return these books on equestrian medicine. I asked
Obi Wan for a greater understanding of the *
Hungary is considering allowing solicitation
for prostitution in shopping malls, so long
as the act itself is performed elsewhere.
The Top 5 Names for the Mall Prostitution Store
5. Bed, Bang and Begone
4. BJ Maxx
and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Name for the Mall Prostitution Store…
1. Twattery Barn
My big fantasy is being a pizza delivery boy making a delivery to a mansion where a porn film is being shot and arriving at the location at precisely the same moment as the actor playing the role of the pizza-delivery boy.
then went back to the farmer and complained, “I thought you said
this horse you sold me could jump as high as an eight-foot fence.”
“I did, and he can,” said the farmer.
“Well,” replied the man, “he can’t jump at all.”
The farmer added, “Neither can a fence.”
This is one funny protest prank:
You win this round.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.”
–American comedian Groucho Marx
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”
An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”
And yet another one from our dear Leprechaun:
Bartenders and waiters have heard ’em all. But what we rarely hear is someone turning down a drink. “Nah, I better not have one,” said one man a after I offered him a glass of wine. “I have the world’s worst stomach. I eat so many antacids that if I were to keel over dead right this minute, I’d leave my own chalk outline.”
Christopher Columbus spent less money coming to the
New World than it costs the average American to buy a
new car today.
ORD Approach: “United 143 best forward speed to the marker, you are number one.”
United 143 (male): “Roger, balls to the wall.”
ORD Approach: “American 245, you’re number two behind a United 737,
follow him, cleared visual, at your best forward speed.”
American 245 (female): “Well, I can’t do balls to the wall, but I can
go wide open.”
Unknown male Pilot: “Is American hiring?”
From our great camper friend Bob, in Alaska:
Here is an amazing eclipse photo – this guy is pretty savy!
Personally, I love my iPhone. I’m pretty much to the point that I can’t live without it. Sad, I know, but here is a great story about the day an iPhone saved the day…and recovered a stolen car:
I’ve had a couple of requests for updates on Baby Jack. He’s doing well, just growing up and getting ready for his next operation. Not sure when that is going to happen, but here’s a couple of recent pics to keep all you “Aww, he’s so cute!” people satisfied…and yes, I’m one of those people, too.