It’s Saturday morning and I’m exhausted.  What an absolute crap filled night I had!  I’m REALLY getting tired of this.  Leg cramps, stomach upset, body aches…getting old is not for the weak!

I shouldn’t jump right in to Dragon Laffs and start out by complaining.  I really shouldn’t.  I sound like a little old grandma.  So, I need a timeout.

Okay, I’m back.  While I was gone, I started a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, did a chore I had planned for later (straightened and cleaned a book shelf that I had been wanting to take care of).  This is what it looks like now:

The top row is all bibles, most of which I’ve gotten from Goodwill and are different versions.  Out of the frame is a big box of trash papers that are being thrown out.  Izzy and I have been doing our best to go through things, get rid of things and clean up things.  We have now brought 4 (?) I think it’s 4, car loads of stuff to the Goodwill.

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten myself in a better mood, whaddaya say we get some laughter going here?

Another shot of Izzy and Pepper.  Right after they both woke up.

An night with the Valkyries ~ Jose Miguel Picon Chimelis – Astronomy Photographer of the Year 2024 Aurorae

Who’s behind the mask?  That would have been your favorite dragon, in human form, of course, circa 1982, Spangdahlem, Germany.  

Again, you’ve got Impish, this time as a civilian, I’m the one on the  left.  A bit chunkier than the last guy was.  This would have been 2007 and although it looks like we’re on a moon somewhere, we’re actually at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri.

And this is today…, well, 2024 and the suits and gear we are wearing now.  I’m not in that picture, I’m teaching that class.  That’s one of my classes.

And this is what the future of Chem Warfare looks like.  This is the next-gen suit that they are playing with.  It looks so much more comfortable than what I started off with, oh those 40 or so years ago.

With that wonderful trip down memory lane and glimpse into the future, let’s now move on…

I need to make a public apology.

Now, I don’t normally make a big deal out of birthdays here in DL, if I know it’s your birthday, I’ll normally wish you a happy birthday off line or something like that, I might make mention of special ones here on the show, but when you’ve been friends with someone for as long as I’ve been friends with this person and shared as much as we’ve shared and then you go and COMPLETELY FORGET THEIR BIRTHDAY ALL TOGETHER, well, it at least deserves a public apology if not an outright public beating.

Yesterday was Stephanie’s birthday. Yesterday being Friday.  And I completely missed it!

And from there we move to…

And now we can…

Oh, I don’t … yeah, they look weird.

A young polar bear came into his den and asked his mother, “Mom am I a real polar bear?” 

“Of course you are.” His mother replied. 

The young polar bear asked his father. “Dad, am I a real polar bear?” 

“Yes, you are a real polar bear.” 

A week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, “Are grandma and grandpa real polar bears?” 

“Yes” said his parents. 

Another week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, “Are all my relatives real polar bears?” 

“Yes, they are all real polar bears.” said his parents. “Why do you ask?” replied his mother. 

“Because,” said the young polar bear, “I’m freezing! 

What a fantastic invention!  Well…

There’s a couple different ones on Amazon, none of which are Prime, none of which have good reviews, and none of which seem to work as advertised.  LOL!  Now, it doesn’t seem like a tough concept to get it to work correctly, so maybe the people who reviewed them are just idiots, but I normally tend to put a lot of faith in the reviews, so … buyer beware.

But it’s still a GREAT concept.

I A.I. generated that one.  I kinda like that one.

Have you been on the highways lately?

The Pope  decided to grant absolution to three sinners. The first person to come up was Richard Nixon. 

The Pope asked, “What is your sin?” 

“I hired people to break into the Watergate Hotel.” 

The Pope replied, “Kneel down. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.” 

Next in line was Bill Clinton. “What was your sin, son?” 

“I cheated on my wife.” The Philanderer in Chief replied. “Kneel down, my son. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.” 

A third person came up and the Pope asked, “What is your name?” 

“Monica Lewinsky.” The Pope stroked his chin. “Hmmmm….. Perhaps you should remain standing.” 

Created by Impish as “fantasy art with castle”  That’s pretty cool I think.

Grandpa:  You think it was windy?  Boy I tell ya, when I was a kid, it was once REALLY windy…
Grandkids:  How windy was it, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Why, it was so windy, it once blew the spots, right off my dalmation, George!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a bell. 

Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring.

If you have an iPhone, tell Siri very slowly

“I see a little silhouetto of a man”.

Trust me.  Just do it.

~ Pop Smith

Then if you do the same thing to Alexa, you will be so disappointed.  In fact, I found this video.  But don’t watch it until after you’ve done it yourself, if you can…

AND WHY IS IT ALWAYS…ALWAYS THE 10!?!?!?

Minnesota Law 

A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.

What could possibly have been the reason for coming up with THIS law?

I have one of these that my dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior carved for me…

I didn’t want my family to judge me so I walked past them with 2 cookies on my plate and 4 in my pockets.

The A-10 gun system.  I used to load them, fix them, and one actually had the audacity to try to kill me and several of my friends once by jamming and I had to fix the beast.

Yup…and I went out today, three times.  Once to ACE hardware, once to Walgreens, and once to Krogers grocery store.  All in the same trip.  But it counts as going out three times today.

The good bishop knew very well that not only did everyone in his small town look to him for an example, but that all too often, all eyes were on him as potential fodder for the local gossip mill, as well.

This could be wearing; but usually, he was able to provide the good example and escape the tattlers. One night, however, after a long, hard day, a social obligation beckoned on top of his church responsibilities, and he came to a sudden stopping place. 

His hostess, noting that he looked tired, asked with concern, “A spot of tea, Bishop?” 

“No, thank you,” he managed. “No tea.” 

“Ah,” she said. “Coffee, then?” 

“No coffee either, thank you.” 

In the spirit of triage, she leaned closer and murmured, “I could bring you a scotch and soda in an opaque mug?” 

“My dear, this is my last word: NO soda.” 

Supposedly, this is a menu that an Uber driver handed someone upon entering his vehicle…

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner.  No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

It’s true.

Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we’d drop them off at our church’s children’s chapel on Sundays before the eleven o’clock service. 

One Sunday, just as I was about to open the door to the small chapel, the minister came rushing up in full vestments. He said he had an emergency and asked if I’d speak to the children at their story time. He said the subject was the Twenty-third Psalm. 

But just as I was about to get up from the back row and talk about the good shepherd, the minister burst into the room and signaled to me that he would be able to do the story time after all. 

He told the children about sheep, that they weren’t smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd’s job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed. 

He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance. 

Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, “If you are the sheep then who is the shepherd?” He was pretty obviously indicating himself. 

A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said,” Jesus, Jesus is the shepherd.” 

The young minister, obviously caught by surprise, said to the boy, “Well, then, who am I?” 

The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug” I guess you must be a sheep dog.” 

The perfect title…addressed to all of those out there who are attending so called “Progressive Christian Churches”.  There ain’t no such thing.  The Church, the REAL CHURCH, has already progressed as far as it’s EVER going to progress.  READ THE BIBLE!

Okay, so today, I am going to search through the memes in my folder and pick out the ones that are the most current.  How does that sound?  When I get to about 12 of them, in the order that I find them, I’m going to quit.  That way I’m keeping my own opinion out of it.

Okay, so that one is a “little dated”.  Could have already happened.

That one’s not too dated.

THAT ONE is good ANYTIME!

How many is that?  13?  Wow!  I didn’t even get a good start through the file!  A few more to get rid of some more!  Let me see if I can find some for the other side.

That one was just TOO GOOD to let go by!!!

All of you idiots who are complaining about Project 2025, have any of you even read any of it, or are you just screaming along with the Twitter Idiots who are just proving my point of you all being idiots?

And yes, I have, very large portions of it. Not all of it, because not all of it interested me.

And finally, one that I think should be run every single issue:

Stephen B. sent me this next article with the subject line of:  WHEN WILL THIS STOP?

Transgender cyclists take top 3 spots in Washington women’s relay championship

I’m not getting it.  To me the top one still looks darker.

To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and my flip-flops…

You can hide, but you can’t run!

Middle Age in a Nutshell

Who cares if it looks good? I’m comfortable.
Has anyone seen my phone?
The scale … that cannot be right!
Did I already take my vitamins?
Huh, I wonder how I got this bruise …
Why is the print on these instructions so tiny?
$5 for a box of cereal? They raised the price and shrunk the box … such a racket!
Software update again? I don’t like updates.
Who in the world is calling me at 9:30 pm?
Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say.
Wait! What did I come in here for?
I could’ve sworn that was my password!

And it’s all downhill from there!

My personality is basically a mix between a needy 5 year old child who can’t control their emotions, a teenage rebel who makes poor life decisions, and an 80 year old who’s tired and needs a nap.

This one is called Miracle Match and if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, you have no feelings at all!

My gran sent me a joke text the other day and ended it with LMDO.  I sent a text back asking what “LMDO” meant? 

She replied, “Laughing My Dentures Out!!”

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other hs in their mouth.

And that’s it my friends.  Until next we meet…

What a week it has been!  I almost cut my fingers off with my mini-chainsaw, I’ve been running around like a maniac trying to get things done so I would have time to work on this issue.  I had a BUNCH of friends over on Sunday to cut down trees and scrub and they did SO MUCH MORE than I thought they were going to do (the same day I almost cut my fingers off).  Here’s the pile of scrap we have left over that is going to be chipped up the weekend of the 10th of August.

Yeah, the pictures don’t really do it justice.  It is HUGE!  I should’ve taken pictures along the way, but … well … there was blood and stuff.

Anyway, I DIDN’T cut off my fingers, I’m currently typing away with all ten of them, and all is well, so let’s not waste any more time since time is the one thing I don’t have right now and get right to the laughter and stuff!

There have been lots of requests for my email address, so I guess it’s something that I have to put in the issue more often, so very official like here you go.  The website is dragonlaffs.com and the best email to reach me is: impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com.  How’s that?

If you get it, you get it.

Okay, Jerry M. asked me to send pictures of the Tri-plane.  It’s really not much and it comes from a kit, but here you go…

It was fun to build.

There’s a hint to the last Pinto picture.

Yeah, this is one of those really weird ones that our dear Stephanie loves to send in.  It’s a goodie.

‘Robot suicide’ rocks South Korea, authorities investigate a ‘depressed’ cyborg’s sudden ‘death’ | World News – Hindustan Times

Now, AFTER you read the article, Stephanie has some questions for us:

If Robot Sophia was granted full Saudi Arabian citizenship, with all the privileges thereof, who decided to “deactivate” her? 

Why was she deactivated?

As a citizen, no one owned her, part of citizenship, right?

Did she decide to deactivate?

Would her deactivation not be classified as murder?

Why has no one been charged?

This next one is the newest purchase for my wall…

You might remember what the wall used to look like, this is what it looks like now…

Please don’t ride with me if you’re going to scream and grab the dash every time we run off the road. It makes me nervous.

Another weird one from Steph… this one is called the Tasselled Wobbegong.  Yeah, I got nuthin’!

Okay guys!  Meme this picture!!!!  Let’s hear it!

This one is from Vincent L.  I’m going to give you the email the same way that I got it.  Click on the title to follow the link.  I signed the petition and I urge you to as well.

Navy Veterans Face Radiation Peril — Demand Justice Now 1,682 signatures toward our 30,000 Goal

Not sure if you came across this article, once again our vets lack support from our elected officials. I don’t anyone who has been exposed but  I live in an area with a high percentage of vets.

Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration – that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper.

“Gladly,” responded the good man.

When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the “appreciation” column. There he read: “The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given.”

Yeah, if you are outdoors. 
If you’re indoors, it’s a more complicated process.  
Do I need it anymore?
If the answer is yes, is there a younger person whom I can get to pick it up for me?
If I don’t need it, if I leave it there, will the dogs chew it up and either:
a) Make a mess?
b) Hurt themselves?
If the answer to either a or b above is yes, is there a younger person whom I can get to pick it up for me?
Then you can even get into a whole scale of:
How much of a mess and how long until a younger person is likely to appear?

This next picture is what I came home to the other night from Jail Ministry:

That’s Izzy and Pepper.  And if you look to the left and just above Izzy’s head, you can just barely see Willow’s ear sticking out of her kennel.  All three of them were perfectly sound asleep.

A newlywed sailor was transferred to a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. He soon began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

“My darling,” he wrote, “it looks like we’re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and there’s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we’re constantly surrounded by attractive young native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be so tempted?”

So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, “Why don’t you learn to play this?”

Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his  wife. “Darling,” he said, “I can’t wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!”

“First, let me see you play that harmonica!”

The other old joke I remember was, “Whenever you argue with a woman, you’re either right or you’re wrong.  And when you’re right, apologize immediately.”

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.”

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,  “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.”

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?”

She replied, “I thought was, but mother says I’m not.”

A plumber was called to a woman’s apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe.

When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly.

About 4:30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing their bedroom shenanigans.

“That was my husband,” she said, “He’s on his way home, but he’s going back to the office around 8.

Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off.”

The union plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. “What? On my own time??” 

Didn’t that place use to be a Dollar General?

Because of a lack of time, just taking them in the order they are in the folder, no theme intended.

So, I read today that while Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu addressed Congress on Wednesday, “Iran’s Useful Idiots” were at work outside the Capitol protesting, burning flags, causing trouble, while in New York they were pulling down the American flag and putting up the Palestinian flag, and there were traitorous idiots INSIDE the Capitol sitting on their hands, boycotting his speech all together and there was even one unamerican witch (I may have misspelled that) Rashida Talib (D-Michigan) holding up a sign that said “war criminal”.  Not to mention, the Vice-president, who wants to be president, couldn’t even bother to be there, she was speaking at a sorority event in Indianapolis.  People, if that doesn’t tell you EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW about who to vote for in November, than you are either delusional, clueless, or completely out of touch with the real world. 

It was brought up that the burning or desecration of the American Flag should be punishable with 1 year in prison. If you can be punished with a hate crime for doing that to the stupid rainbow flag or just about anyone else’s flag as a hate crime, (it’s actually much WORSE than a year in prison) than it ought to be the same thing for the American Flag.

And if anything that I’ve said angers anyone out there, say your peace (piece?) and prove me wrong!

Leonardo da Vinci is among the most talented and insightful individuals to ever share our planet. His indelible legacy as a masterful painter persists to this day, as works such as the “Mona Lisa” and “The Last Supper” can attest.

In addition to being a prolific Renaissance artist, Leonardo was also a brilliant theorist. His views on the human condition were ahead of their time and remain as relevant today as they were more than 500 years ago.

Leonardo kept an extensive series of notebooks and journals to chronicle his thoughts on topics such as painting, anatomy, botany, and paleontology, to name just a few. These original sources provide us with an invaluable direct look into the mind of this great polymath, whose brilliant philosophical observations have inspired countless others over the centuries.

In honor of this incredible artist and thinker, here are 12 quotes that illustrate Leonardo da Vinci’s thoughts on life and that can be used as guiding principles on our own personal journeys.

Poor is the pupil that does not surpass his master.

Leonardo preached the importance of continually seeking out knowledge. According to his philosophy, an effective education involves taking the basics one learns as a student and using them to expand the mind even further.

Experience never errs; it is only your judgments that err by promising themselves effects such as are not caused by your experiments.

Ever the practical theorist, Leonardo believed trial and error to be the foundation of truth. In turn, he thought all fallacies arise from untested personal beliefs.

It is easier to contend with evil at the first than at the last.

It’s best to tackle the roots of evil when they first present themselves Leonardo posited. Waiting too long allows those bad influences to grow stronger and potentially become unmanageable.

Whoever in discussion adduces authority uses not intellect but rather memory.

Leonardo believed all men are equal and that those who claim to have power tend to rely on perception rather than fact to maintain their control.

The knowledge of past times and of the places on the earth is both an ornament and nutriment to the human mind.

It’s important to remember the past, according to Leonardo, as those who choose to ignore history are doomed to repeat prior mistakes.

We ought not to desire the impossible.

When setting personal goals, Leonardo believed in the importance of remaining grounded and seeking out realistically achievable end results.

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.

According to Leonardo, our own beliefs are often responsible for guiding us down the wrong path. The great thinker thought important decisions should be based on scientific methods rather than on gut feelings.

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.

Leonardo believed that in order to leave this Earth feeling content, we must consciously live fulfilling lives while we’re here.

Necessity is the mistress and guide of nature.

Leonardo claimed that evolution arises out of necessity. It’s need, rather than want, that makes the world grow stronger and develop more fully.

To lie is so vile, that even if it were in speaking well of godly things it would take off something from God’s grace; and Truth is so excellent, that if it praises but small things they become noble.

To Leonardo (and surely to many of us), lying is a wholly reprehensible action, considering the destruction and chaos it’s sure to bring about . Telling the truth, on the other hand, can highlight the value and virtue of even the littlest things.

Avoid studies of which the result dies with the worker.

It’s imperative to leave behind a worthy legacy, per Leonardo. We should do what we can to ensure our work doesn’t die with us and that our pursuits continue to inspire others after we’re gone.

Just as iron rusts unless it is used, and water putrefies or, in cold, turns to ice, so our intellect spoils unless it is kept in use.

Leonardo was a huge proponent of staying eternally curious and constantly exercising one’s mind so it doesn’t become stale with disuse. As it happens, we’re big proponents of that as well.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

James Thurber (1894 – 1961)

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I’m a wheelbarrow.

Don’t let people push you around.

An american football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?”

The player thought for a moment and then answered, “4?”

“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming…, “Come on coach, give him another chance!”

The preacher was preaching with all his might. The subject was SIN, and he was most certainly ‘against’  sin.

A girl, with a wonderful figure, and not nearly enough clothes to hide much skin, came in late. She strode down the center aisle, close to the front, and sat down.

It was plain to the preacher that he had lost the men in his audience to this voluptuous sex-object.

He shook a fist at her and said, “You are the Jezebel the good book tells us about. You have got the mind of every man in this building on evil thoughts and not good thoughts. But I am a man of God! You don’t affect me, and right now up in Heaven, you fallen woman…..Saint Finger is shaking his Peter at you!!”

PETE: How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.

RONNY: To tell you the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.

PETE: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can’t believe it!

RONNY: Well, yeah. After all, he’s a parrot-fish.

PETE: I hate to tell you this, but while you might be able to teach a parrot-bird to sing, you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot-fish.

RONNY: That’s what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It’s driving me crazy. . . . Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?

Didn’t you just know that was coming? Couldn’t you just see it?  Anticipate it?  Oh well, with that, we’ll do just this last one…

And call it the end of another show.  Not that I still don’t have an awful lot I want to say, but there just isn’t any time to do things any more it seems.   I missed my Thursday deadline, as you all well know and now, if I don’t hurry, I’ll miss the Friday one as well.

So, my dear friends, until Monday (we can only hope), may our God truly bless you and keep you and smile upon your face.  My love to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

So, it’s Friday.  Earlier today you got today’s episode, this one you won’t get until Monday and hopefully that will give me a chance to get some stuff out of my head that has been laying there for a while now.  To answer one question off the bat, no.  

And to answer another question, yes.

And one more, the answer is twenty-six.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on.  To more mundane things, I have not spoken to the Chaplain yet.  Either he hasn’t been around or we’ve just missed each other, but it has been a “bad” week for me.  I tried to get ahold of “my counselor” and SHE didn’t answer me when I asked to see her, so she might be busy this week as well.  It is right in the middle of prime vacation time for everyone.

Izzy has her counselor appointment today, so we usually do “Izzy Things” when that happens.  “Izzy Things” involve the Good Will, Thrift Shops, Consignment Shops, and… lunch.  Oh, and I usually run by my cigar shop for my smokie treats.  MY one and only bad habit that I have left.  So, we will be leaving to do that shortly.

I also … wait … what’s this … hang on …

Not sure if it’s true or not, JUST came across my phone and I’m not that hooked up to the trends, but I’m hearing that Biden is dropping out of the race.  Of course this will be old news by the time you guys read this.  I’ll let you know what I hear.

But, for now, let’s get to the laughs before I have to leave for Izzy’s Day.

I’ve meant to use this next one for last couple of issues, but have forgotten, so I’m going to put it in early so I don’t forget again.

I’m not sure if I used this one or not (and I’m too lazy … or … um … I mean, I’m too busy to go and look it up and see if I have.

Actually very interesting, especially as it came out in the year that I graduated High School.

I would LOVE to have this!!!  Can you imagine this in your front yard?  It would definitely tend to keep the critters out of the garden!

The third largest flying bird in wingspan is this Andean condor(Vultur gryphus) with a wing span of 3.3 meters behind the Great white pelican with a 3.7.  The Greatest of all is the Wandering Albatross with a 3.9 wingspan.

But it is said to be the biggest and the largest of them all by weight and size and they live upto 70 plus years if not affected by accidents, disease or lead poisoning.

No kidding!

Missed a spot

Lynn sent this one in…

I was today years old when I learned the “clover” in my garden is wood sorrel. 

You can tell by the yellow flowers and little “fairy pickles”. 

Highly nutritious and lemon flavored.

I think I might have some of that some “clover” in my garden, too.

These ladies will go to ANY length to sell their Tupperware and their Avon!  (Although, I’m probably really dating myself with that crack.  Are Tupperware and Avon still a thing?)

Pop Smith just sent me this one.  It’s actually pretty cute.

Yeah, see I’d have to raise my hand on that one, too.  I always make a note of what the original time the GPS says when I start out on a trip and then it is my goal to beat that time.  The more I beat it by, the better I did.  I can ALWAYS beat it, but depending on the length of the trip, how MUCH can I beat it BY?  Ah, now there’s the contest!

Okay, this one is from Joe and it’s VERY GOOD.  The question is asked, “How did she do that?” and I gotta say, “Beats the heck outta me!!”

Louisiana, New Orleans Law

Snakes are not allowed within 200 yards of the Mardi Gras parade route.

A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past a row of empty shopping carts when the cart-girl standing there called after him, “Excuse me, did you want a cart?”

“No,” he answered. “I’m only after one thing.”

As he walked into the store, he heard her murmur,
“Just like a man.”

Absolutely Fantastic!

I heard that the BabylonBee also reported that Jack Smith filed two new charges against Trump.  They were:

Avoidance of a Targeted Projectile
Interfering With an Assassination Attempt

These guys just won’t quit!

Don’t lose friendships today over two men who don’t even know your names.

It’s okay to have different political views and still maintain love and respect for each other.

What would happen if they added a “NONE OF THE ABOVE” option to the ballot and that is the one that got the most votes?  Would they then have to kick out those two choices and start all over again with two more until someone clearly won?  Wouldn’t that be better?  If a clear majority of the people didn’t want EITHER ONE of the candidates? 

And Bakeries and Cookie shops, we gotta work something out.

So, it’s really surprising that I got this picture the other day…

Because that very same day, in the mail I received a toy I had ordered for myself…

I haven’t started building it yet cause I’m in the middle of a tri-plane that I’m working on right now.  Just stupid little things that I like to do to keep my hands busy.  I have no real talent, so I have to build from a premade kit, but it’s fun.  And wood because it’s easier for me.  Now, my buddy Wheats has talent like you wouldn’t believe with plastic models.  He adapts them and changes things on them and paints them realistically.  Again, with wood, I can leave them “Wood Colored” and they still look good.  Then there’s Stephen B. who’s stuff we’ve shown before who also works with wood, who, like my dad, can take a BLOCK of wood and remove everything “that doesn’t look like a horse”.  Yeah, I don’t have any of that.

Now THAT is a great table!

Who still has one?

I can still remember going to the Electrical Supply Store (may have been an early Radio Shack) with my dad to test the tubes to get new ones.  They had a machine that you would plug them into to test them.

No, it’s not a rustic hanging shelf…it’s a swing.

A worried bum entered a doctor’s office.  “Doctor,” he said, “you’ve got to help me.  I swallowed a silver crown about five years ago.”

“Good heavens, man!” screamed the doctor. “Why have you waited five years?  Why didn’t you go to a doctor the day you swallowed the silver crown?”

“To tell the truth,” replied the bum, “I didn’t need the money at the time.”

No Swimming  Norman Rockwell   June 4, 1921

Mr. Fix-It  Stevan Dohanos  January 14, 1956

Overflowing Tub   John Falter  December 3, 1955

Living Mannequin  J.C. Leyendecker  March 5, 1932

Mother’s Little Helpers  John Falter  April 18, 1953

Some good information, but not translated very well…

So, The end of another issue.  Where I want to say so many different things, but can’t seem to find the words.  Mostly because my life is pretty full right now.  That’s a good thing, I guess.  But, I’m asking for God to correct some things in my life that I need help with.

So, my friends, do me a favor and keep me in your prayers and until we speak again, may God Bless you and keep you.

Not really sure when I’m going to get this one published.  Today is Tuesday, but it’s already bed time.  Tomorrow I’ve got jail after work so I won’t be able to get much done tomorrow, so this won’t make it out for Thursday, so maybe I can have it ready for Friday.  And that’s because I’ve been so busy with so many other things this week.

Between being drawn to fighting for a class that I want to teach at church, fighting for a young man’s church credentials, fighting over an exercise at work, and fighting emotions over grief, it seems as though it’s just been fight, fight, fight for the past week and quite frankly I am sick to death of fighting.  

I’m tired, I’m sore, I’m the proverbial grumpy old man (dragon)…all I’m missing is yelling at some kid to “GET OFF MY LAWN” and I’ll be all set.

Plus, I’m being prompted by the Holy Spirit to make an apology that is actually about 2 plus years overdue and I know it’s part of my repentance, and it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s more that I don’t know HOW to.

The man I need to apologize to is not going to be a problem, I would consider him a friend even.  He probably doesn’t think I need to apologize, but I really feel like I need to, and it’s come up now, all of a sudden. 

See, the man is one of the base chaplains and I owe him an apology because of the way I spoke to him back when Mary died.  I was pretty rude and used some very coarse language and, well, it’s been playing on my mind.  And him and I go to bible study together every other Wednesday and for me claiming to be a Christian now, well … you get the idea.

Anyway, the Spirit is telling me that I need to repent to him.

But, in the meantime, we’ve got some laughter to chase after, so let’s start doing that…at least a little, before I have to go to bed.

Okay, I can’t help myself.  I know it’s been too soon, but I gotta start out with more of these memes that I haven’t used yet.

This one is from brother Joe … and it scares me a little… he writes:

I’ve sure gotten old!  I have outlived my feet and my teeth.  I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.  I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia.  Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.  Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.  

I have lost all my friends.

But, thank God, I’ve still got my Florida driver’s license!

But see, the part that scares me?  Joe lives in New Jersey!

And that ain’t even the half of it.

I’ll bet his on first.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

– Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) 

Maybe carrots will give me strong, sharp eyes, but what if they also give me long floppy ears?

A man stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop.

The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn’t come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve.

The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a cantina and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was crying and wasn’t drunk.

About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same cantina, and one said to the other. “Look Pepe, that’s the character who climbed into the car while we were pushing.” 

HUNCHBACK’S WIFE: I’m getting worried about that back of yours. It looks really awful. Perhaps you should see a doctor. Eventually, after a lot of persuasion the Hunchback goes to the doctor.

DOCTOR:I want you to get undressed. ( Hunchback removes jacket then stops) 

HUNCHBACK:I don’t like getting undressed.

DOCTOR:If you want me to examine your back you’ll have to get undressed. ( Hunchback removes his shirt but leaves his vest on.)

HUNCHBACK:I don’t like showing people my back. They always laugh at me.

DOCTOR:Do you want me to examine your back or not? ( Very reluctantly the hunchback removes his vest.

DOCTOR:How long is it since you were at school?

HUNCHBACK:Over 30 years. Why?

DOCTOR:Did you ever wonder what happened to your backpack?

That’s it.  I’m done.  I’m having a rough night, so I’m sure I’ll talk about it in the next issue.  I can’t right now.

I’m sitting here on Saturday night in virtual shock.  President Trump has been shot.  All of us vets are looking at the circumstances and thinking to ourselves, “There ain’t no way.” 

I saw a post from Breitbart news service that shows a tweet from Kenneth P. Vogel, who is a 48 year old New York Times Reporter that says, “Biden told donors on a private coll this afternoon: ‘It’s time to put Trump in the bullseye.'”

One spectator killed, two wounded, the shooter killed, probably by the Secret Service snipers.  But some people on the ground said they saw the shooter moving around on the roof and were in the process of reporting it to law enforcement when the shots rang out.  Going back to the vets in the audience, how did the Secret Service snipers and others NOT see the shooter?

So many things just not adding up.

And the sad part is, we all know … WE KNOW … we won’t be getting any truthful answers.

Tomorrow is Sunday and we have so many, many things to bring to the throne of God.  And yes, I know we never have to wait until Sunday to bring things to God.  I spent my entire day today bringing things to God.  I changed out the faucet in the bathroom today.  Yes, the same one that I fixed the leak in, during the last episode.  That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  But I learned an awful lot.  Let me give you a short list so that maybe, just maybe, some of you can learn from the pain and suffering that I went through.

#1 – Do not overtighten anything.
#2 – I hate plumbing.
#3 – If you have to lay on your back with your head stuck under a small wooden cabinet, cursing the idiots who overtightened the current fixtures, it is better with an old pillow that you can then throw away when you’re down.  Even better with a younger person doing it for you.
#4 – I hate plumbing.
#5 – When you have to make a trip to ACE Hardware to pick up a part you didn’t expect to need, it is better to listen to your daughter and bring the old part with you so you don’t have to bring the part you just bought back to buy the correct part that you could have bought the first time, had you just listened to your daughter and brought the old part with you the first time.
#6 – And finally and most importantly, I learned something that I was pretty sure I knew all along…I HATE PLUMBING!  I will hire someone to fix a leaky faucet next time.

The day you are reading this, Monday, 15 July, I will be in a bad way.  I am in a bad way now and have been for the last couple of days, getting worse each day.  I would have taken Monday off work, but I can’t because of things that are going on at work.  

Sigh…

Monday will be … would have been … no, WILL BE my 29th Wedding Anniversary.

My mind is wandering so far afield lately.  

Oh, it’s now Sunday morning, by the way.  I feel asleep writing last night.  Now I’m waiting for time to go to church.

So, I’ve got about an hour or so before I have to leave.  The dogs have been taken out and fed…well, one dog has been taken out and fed, the other one couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed.  Pepper is still upstairs in bed with Izzy, Willow and I are up, drinking coffee, she has eaten and we went out.

That really doesn’t sound right, does it?  She ate, I’m drinking coffee.  We didn’t go out, I took HER out.

Never mind.

Let’s get started on the laffs before I have to leave and we’ll finish up later.

Okay, I want to make a point here, first thing, right off the bat, it has been less than 12 hours and the memes have already started.  But it does show that our country will be alright if we can already find humor in the situation. 

I do want to offer my deepest condolences to the families of the dead and wounded and I hope they knew Christ and are therefore in Heaven right now.  Izzy asked me last night if I thought Trump would pay for the funerals and the medical expenses of the people and I said if they needed it, I would be very surprised if he didn’t.  But don’t be surprised if you don’t hear about it.  

Anyway, let’s start with these since they are the topic dejur.  

That’s what I’ve gotten so far.  Well, honestly, I’ve gotten some others but they were in even worse taste than those.

If you can’t figure that one out, you are way too young!

Okay, so I’m back from church, GREAT Service!  We have such a wonderful little church.  We had two baptisms today also!  Really good day.  At the appropriate time, I went up to the rail and asked my Elder and his wife for prayer for my emotional health because of how much I’m hurting right now.  I am truly blessed. 

When I got back to my computer, I had more memes from you guys about Trump, so let me put them in right here…

These first three are from Izzy and she said these are just the three that she kept!  I REALLY like the first one.

These next four are from our GREAT friend Wouter in South Africa! 

And I think some of the rest of these were sent in by Pop Smith

Strange ‘Stonehenge’ discovered in US lake that’s 5,000 years older than the British landmark

4 Frugal Methods to Cool Down Without A/C This Summer:
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/4-frugal-methods-to-cool-down-without-a-c-this-summer/ 

 

Well, at least they’re honest!

This next one was…

and she says that it’s a typical Memphis picture…

Man, they won’t let us have any fun at all!!

Stupidity

What?

We’ve already done so many of these today that I’m only gonna throw a couple of them in here just to keep the editor and printer happy.  If I take entire sections out, they both get really annoyed with me and start changing entire … thunderstorms and lightning are definite hazards to dragons from the middle ages to high school football teams and … 

… sigh (… see what I mean?)

…alright guys, you made your point.  Anyway, here’s a couple more political memes…

Inflating Beach Toy
Stevan Dohanos
August 20, 1949

Cowboy Asleep in Beauty Salon
Kurt Ard
May 6, 1961

Boy on High Dive
Norman Rockwell
August 16, 1947

Baby and Nail Polish
Stevan Dohanos
July 22, 1950

Watering Father
Richard Sargent
June 4, 1955

Okay, this one gets three things to lead it off… first this one

Then it gets these two…

A man went to his barber to get a haircut before he left on a trip to Rome. 

He was telling his barber about the trip when the barber said, “Rome? Why would anyone go there? It’s crowded and dirty! So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re flying on American,” the man told him.

“American?” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible choice! The planes are old and the flight attendants are ugly. Where are you staying in Rome?”

“Oh, we’re at the downtown Marriott.”

“What? That dump with its overpriced rooms and poor service? Well, what are you doing when you get there?” the barber griped.

“Going to the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.”

“Yeah? Well good luck. A million people want to see the Pope. You’ll never get close. But good luck to you. You’ll probably need it.”

Finishing the cut, the barber handed him his coat.

A month later, the man was back for another cut. The barber asked about the trip to Rome. 

“Oh, it was wonderful. We were on a brand new plane and it was so overcrowded we got bumped to first class, where a beautiful young stewardess waited on us hand and foot. And the hotel was fantastic! They had just finished remodeling and were overbooked, so they gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!

“Well, I know you didn’t get to see the Pope,” the surly barber grumbled.

“Oh, but we did!” the man exclaimed. “We toured the Vatican and were chosen to personally meet the Pope! I actually knelt down as he spoke a few words to me!”

“Really?” the barber wondered, impressed despite himself. “What did he say?”

“He said, ‘Where’d you get that lousy haircut?'”

“How great is our God?  Name above all names.  Worthy of all praise.  My heart will sing.  How great is our God?”

That’s what’s playing in the background right now as I wrap up this episode.  I just want you guys to keep me in mind as you read this, know that I’m thinking of you because I know that you are thinking of me … at least while you’re reading this and I’m asking for you to give me good thoughts and prayers.  It’s going to be a tough day for me.  Heck it’s a tough day for me today.

My darling Mary, I miss you every day.  Can’t wait till I get to see you again.  

And for the rest of you, until we meet again…