Well, here is my explanation for this week. It has been a bad week and it’s not over yet. I have about one hour before I have to go to a funeral, so I’m going to get as much of this out before I have to go.
Obviously, the week started out by finding out that a dear, dear friend of mine passed.
Suddenly.
His wife, who is also a great friend, is taking it very well. We all know that he is in Heaven. He was a staunch member of our church. A retired fireman. Last night at the viewing, there was a fireman standing beside the casket all night. I could go on for hours and hours about the goodness of David.
I also found out that another couple … two of MY people … were in the midst of suffering. This is an older man and a woman (I’m 66, so you know what I mean when I say older). He is in an electric wheelchair and she is using a walker. I watch for them every Sunday and when they pull up, I go outside, open their doors, help him around to the back of the van to get his wheelchair and get her walker out of the sliding door of the van, help her out of the passenger seat, grab any things that they have close up all of their doors and then hold the church doors open for them so they can get inside. We joke with each other and they call me their personal valet. I care about them deeply. Jerry and Faye. They are two of MY people. There are other people that are MY people, too.
They were missing last Sunday, but as bitterly cold as it was and as much sickness as there is in the church right now, it wasn’t really surprising.
But no. Faye was in the hospital. She needed medical care and then developed worse problems that I don’t want to go into because it’s not my place. Suffice it to say that I found out on Thursday through a passing remark by the Pastor while I was at FBI that she was now in hospice and not expected to live through the night! One of MY people and nobody told me!
Well, I was a little annoyed. I had already run around from pillar to post (as my mom used to say) all week long with dentist appoints for Izzy and post exercise appointments and meetings and all kinds of things, and I may have gotten a little snippy with Pastor. “Where is she and what room is she in?” He told me, but said before I go over, to text him and he would let me know “her status”. In other words, if she was still alive.
Friday morning I had an important meeting that I rushed through and then went out to see her. Jerry was tired. Family was all around her and she looked awful. She could barely breathe. Jerry told me that he was ready, that if she took her last breath right then and there it would be fine, so he was ready. We all knew where Faye was headed also. She had been 99% unresponsive for the last day. But her eyes tracked me when I came in and I came around the side of the bed where Jerry was and I took her hand and I leaned over and said, “I love you, Faye.”
And clear enough to be understood, she said, “I love you too, Bob.”
I spoke with Jerry, told him that later, when he wanted someone to talk to, that I’ve been exactly where he is, to call me. Anytime, day or night. Then I kissed Faye on the forehead and left. And sat out in the parking lot and cried.
And went back to work, because I had to leave early to go to Dave’s viewing.
That’s what my weeks been like. I’m sorry you guys have been left in the wake. I’m going to try to put together an issue with the remainder of this weekend, but I just don’t know. I’m headed over to the church right now to see if I can help with the funeral preparations. Then I know, soon, we will have another one to prepare for.
I have a guy in jail with size 14 shoes that will be homeless when he gets released in a week that has no shoes when he gets out that I’m going to try to go to Goodwill and see if I can find something for him to wear.
Okay, first shot at the new and condensed, but more often produced Dragon Laffs. I have no idea, nor plans to see how this works out, this is just a go with the flow kind of thing, so let’s see what happens and…
Pearls Before Swine
Joe from NJ sent this and I know I’ve used it before, but it is one of my all time favorites. It is one of the funniest jokes I’ve read. And I agree with him that it’s older than I know. So, here goes..
This is older than I can remember:
_______________
To Whom It May Concern;
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put “Poor Planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.
At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.
Who were the 5 House Republicans who didn’t vote!?!?
I’m currently listening to President Trump’s inauguration speech. I hope he gets to do EVERYTHING he says he’s going to do. Close the border, send back the illegals who are criminals, official policy being only two genders, stop the stupidity in the military (that’s a big one for me), and drill baby drill!
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
-Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
I just love this next picture:
I would have done the same thing!!!!
So sad…I wonder how many of them knew Christ when they died.
TWELVE STEP INTERNET RECOVERY PROGRAM
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7) I will read a book…if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my bank account because I was too busy on the Internet.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime… and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!
There is so much truth in that meme. When you hurt from the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed and then even throughout your sleep, so that even your sleep is not restful, and people wonder, why is it that Impish is such an angry dragon…therein lies your answer!!!!
One day many years ago, a fisherman’s wife blessed her husband with twin sons.
They loved the children very much, but couldn’t think of what to name their children.
Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, “Let’s not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us.
After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would always turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn’t matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. Let’s call the boys Towards and Away, suggested the fisherman.
His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as TOWARDS and AWAY.
The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, “Boys, it’s time that you learned how to make a living from the sea.”
They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three-month voyage.
The three months passed quickly for the fisherman’s wife, yet the ship had not returned.
Another three months passed, and still no ship.
Three whole years passed before the grieving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband.
My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?” she cried.
The ragged fisherman began to tell his story:
“We were just barely one whole day out to sea when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again.”
“Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been! What a horrible fish. What a horrible, horrible fish!”
“Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away!”
Impish Dragon can do it in 3 words before Aussie Pete can do it. Here’s his 3 words:
Meanwhile, in Australia!
This one brings a tear to my eye because it was just over the weekend that I was so overly reminded of things that I could no longer do. I won’t go into details, but TRUST me. It is NOT fun for us. And it is a HUNDRED times more frustrating for us than it is for you who have to put up with us, wait for us, or are behind us as we try to do what it is that you find so easy and we USED to find just as easy.
My deputy, who is also a farmer, and an elder at our church deserves your thanks and your prayers.
Have you seen a recent commercial for Viagra?
The guy comes home, he’s rushing around, he’s cleaning the house, he’s cooking dinner, he’s setting the table, he’s putting flowers and candles out before his wife gets home.
Don’t you think that most women watching that commercial say, “The heck with the sex. Where can I get a pill to make my husband to do all of that?”
This is beautiful. If Mary was still alive, I would definitely get this for us!!!
Okay, so that’s it. That’s probably more than I can do on the average day, since I have the day off today, but what do you guys think? Truly, give me your feedback. What if it was about half that much? I think I could do about half that much every day…maybe every other day. What would you guys feel about that? Seriously, let me know.
It’s a snow day today! So I’m teleworking…working from home. Which is actually quite interesting if you think about it, since I am an Emergency Manager.
We have an emergency going on!
No problem! Your base Emergency Manager is on duty!
What is your assessment of the situation?
Um…I have no assessment…I…um…am working from home today.
Yeah, it’ll work out GREAT! LOL. I guess it’s a good thing that I’m only ten minutes or so away. And with the base closed there won’t be any emergencies, anyway. Great fun. I’m writing this issue so far ahead, it is a moot point by the time you guys read this anyway. So what do you say that we just jump right into our laughter, shall we?
This is very true. But it really doesn’t help us at the time we are going through the bad times and is quite difficult to focus on at the time. It is only afterward that we can look back and see it. But it is there. Trusting God to protect us, even in … ESPECIALLY IN … the bad times is key. We may not know how it’s all going to turn out, but by trusting Him, we know we will be protected through.
This truly ticks me off! Thanks goes out to Ted for providing the link.
I can’t think of two more undeserving, traitorous people to award that medal to! Well, that’s not true. I can think of MORE undeserving people, but still…. These two are definitely in the top five! This is getting outrageous. As of this writing, we have 11 more days of this nonsense. I can’t possibly imagine the trouble this evil man is going to cause over the next 11 days.
North Carolina, Charlotte law
Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
I’m embarrassed that these guys are an offshoot branch of my Air Force.
A magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs. He started to panic and thought to himself, “What on earth have I done?”
He began to ponder, “How am I going to bring back my beloved family?” So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea was to take them to a hospital and see if the surgeon could operate and bring them back. He loaded them into his van and off he rushed to the local hospital.
He walked up and down the hospital hall and after some serious surgery, he asks the doctor, “Doc, how are they?”
The doctor replied, “Comfortable!”
IZZY DRAGON! It’s YOU!!!
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, “There Is No Such Thing As A Progressive Christian Church!”
Charles Dickens walked into a Manhattan bar on New Years Eve and ordered a martini. “Olive or twist?” said the bartender.
Last year, I was able to keep all of my New Year’s resolutions. Yep, they’re tucked away in a journal on my bookcase.
There were several astronauts who wanted to throw a New Year’s party on the Moon. Unfortunately, they didn’t planet in time.
Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? Because it’s too far to walk.
I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.
Bringing the kids over for a play date.
This one has been around in one form or another for quite a long time.
Lorne was an old man, he was sick, and he was in the hospital. Anyway, there was this one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for our bath, or are we hungry?”
Old Lorne had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Lorne had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand. He had been given a Urine Bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice. So…..you know where the juice went.
Well, the nurse came in a little later and picked up the urine bottle. She looks at it. “My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today…..”
At this, Old Lorne snatched the bottle out of her hand, pops off the top, and drinks it down, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this time.”
The nurse fainted….. Old Lorne just smiled……
Lorne was an old man, he was sick, and he was in the hospital. Anyway, there was this one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for our bath, or are we hungry?”
Old Lorne had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Lorne had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand. He had been given a Urine Bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice. So…..you know where the juice went.
Well, the nurse came in a little later and picked up the urine bottle. She looks at it. “My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today…..”
At this, Old Lorne snatched the bottle out of her hand, pops off the top, and drinks it down, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this time.”
The nurse fainted….. Old Lorne just smiled……
Screenshot
Quote:
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888-1965)
This one is from Joe in NJ and I can’t help but think he’s talking about himself here …
I bought an exercise bicycle two years ago. It has an eighth of a mile on it.
See, what happened is, I discovered that the handlebars fit my sport jacket perfectly. And there’s a place for my beer and McDonald’s right under it … the most expensive coat hanger in New Jersey.
Yeah….I’m thinkin’ I’m right…
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?”
“Certainly not,” said the Priest. “As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.”
“I tried,” Brian sobbed, “but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?”
“If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family.”
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
Okay, let’s talk for a minute my friends. Here’s the deal. God has called me to do a great deal right now. Let me tell you what my week is like. Monday through Friday I have my full time job at the base as well as working the weekend UTA one weekend a month. That’s my day time. Now, my evenings, Monday I have a ministry at a … let’s call it a facility since I signed a non-disclosure agreement, Tuesday I teach a class at church, Wednesday is the Jail ministry, Thursday is the new semester of FBI (but that is now at my home church which is just across the street, so that’s nice!), Friday I’m at the same facility as Monday, every other Saturday is training for 7 to 8 hours for the Kairos Prison Ministry (which I don’t know if I told you about or not…I’ll briefly summarize it in a minute), and Sunday is church, then comes Monday again, rinse and repeat.
Kairos is 4 days in March…Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday where we go in to Miami Correctional Facility…the Prison, not the Jail and spend 12 to 14 hour days bringing the Gospel to the prisoners. It requires five Saturdays worth of training to get to the point where we’re ready to do that. Having worked in the Dept of Corrections before I’m not that concerned with the training and will end up missing two days due to the UTAs on the base. Anyway, more to follow on Kairos later.
Many of you have written to me expressing that you would like to see shorter issues because you don’t read the entire thing anyway and as disappointing to me as that is thinking that I’m not on the edge of your seat entertaining enough that you just want every drop of what I put out there (okay, I’m only kidding, I get it, we’re on a fast past society thing right now) less quantity at once and more frequency might be better and it might fit my time constraints as well.
So…I’m looking at a format change. Not sure what that’s going to look like. You can see that today’s issue is cut short and missing some regular stuff. I’m not sure if I’ll try to throw a little bit of everything in every issue or have special days for special stuff like political Tuesday and Motivational Monday or something like that. I’ll have to give it a little thought…and your input would be helpful.
Ahem…I’ll repeat that … YOUR INPUT WOULD BE HELPFUL.
Okay campers, I gotta fly. I’ve got security at church this morning. Which means I carry a gun and a radio. Odd, I know. Guns in church. What a horrible thought, but… it is, what it is.
May God Bless you and keep you and smile His face upon you until we meet again.
We had a huge (14 hour day) exercise over the weekend and I’m tied up every night this week…and not the good kind of tied up so get your mind our if the gutter, Stephanie, … either meetings and stuff. So your next episode will probably be Monday.
But it’s all good! I’m doing God’s work this week in a big way and hopefully I’ll get a chance to tell you guys all about it!!!
Until then, be blessed, love you all and talk to you soon!!
I’m starting this one on New Year’s Day, even though you won’t be getting it until … hmm … I’m not sure WHEN you will be getting this one. I’m a bit far ahead on my episodes right now. Which is a good thing since next weekend is the big exercise and I’ll be working like 14 hour shifts and won’t have time to do anything.
This is weird. Today is my last day off of my vacation. It went by so fast. But, time is really going by fast right now for some reason. It’s just flying by. That was the shortest two week vacation that I’ve ever had. Maybe because I was sick for most of it. Still am.
I dread going back to work tomorrow and try to catch up on everything that I will now be behind in. It’ll be great fun. (Where is that sarcasm font?)
Okay, so New Year’s … what sort of resolutions have you guys started? I have a couple, one of which I think I already mentioned with the chronological Bible I’ll be reading this year with another guy in the office.
So, let’s go ahead and get started with the fun stuff then since I can’t think of anything real to talk about this morning.
♪ ♫ Isn’t it ironic…♫ ♪
Please remember to help people in their time of need. I have a friend who is a dwarf and he is struggling to put food on the table.
That was terrible! Stooping that low to make dwarf jokes!
I just realized a lot of people don’t like to hold hands in public, especially if they don’t know you…
There are no assigned seats at church. I’ve heard it a hundred times before. But, even now, as long as I’ve been going to my church, I so infrequently get to sit down because I’m working security so often when I’m there, and I don’t have family that goes there, and I don’t want to sit with my married friends because I feel like I’m intruding, so I don’t have a regular seat. The rare occasions that I do get to sit, if I sit in someone else’s seat, you can really tell. They don’t say anything, but you can tell. LOL!
Just saw a girl with six lip piercings at Walmart…It took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain.
And I say, “Come now, Jesus! You can’t come soon enough!” My friends and fellow campers, if you are not ready, right now and at all times, then you are not ready. He’ll come like a thief in the night. There is nothing left that has to be done, no further prophecy that needs to be fulfilled, before the Rapture can happen. In the blink of an eye, between typing this letter and that one, it can take place. Are you ready?
And being rescued from who? BOB! Why is it always Bob?
I was so suspicious and paranoid about my wife having an affair, that we moved to a new town 700 miles away.
I couldn’t believe my luck when we still managed to keep the same gardener.
I love to read
The only power satan has over you is through your head.
Shout out to all the married folks out there waiting for their spouses to pass out on the couch so they can watch what they really want to on TV.
If Adam and Eve had been Cajuns, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
If you can’t drink hot coffee on a hot day then you are weak and will never survive the apocalypse.
This fella stopped me on the street this morning and asked me why I was carrying a 9 foot book?
I said, “It’s a long story.”
We have the best security team in the business. People often ask me why we have such a robust security team and system here at Dragon Laffs, Inc.? Very little is known publicly about the treasures that are put in our care from the many different universes. What do you think would happen … just for instance, say … if … oh, I don’t know … if The Joker was to get ahold of the sword, Excalibur and become King of England? Or say The Flash was to get ahold of Bilbo’s ring? Not to mention the nuclear codes, biological warfare agents and antidotes, … yeah…we have a VERY robust security team around here.
The only person that ever wanted me for who I am is the police…
This is very emotional! At 6:30pm on September 15th of 2017, after a 39-year career at the Kelso Police Department Officer Dave Shelton, signed off for one last time.
Having been on the receiving end and (on a very teenie, tiny scale) the sending end of those kinds of radio traffic, that may have seemed overly emotional to someone outside of the “business”, but I’m here to tell you, that it is internally a WHOLE lot harder than that in real life.
President Joe Biden was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. “Hello, President Biden” a heavily accented southern voice said. “This is Archie, down here at Joe’s Catfish Shack, in Mobile , and I am callin’ to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y’all!”
“Well Archie,” Biden replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” said Archie, after a moments calculation “there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!”
Joe paused. “I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Wow,” said Archie. “I’ll have to call ya back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Biden, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be Archie?” Joe asked.
“Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor.”
President Biden sighed. “I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.”
“Lord above”, said Archie, “I’ll be getting back to ya.”
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. “President Biden! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that” said Biden. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
Well, sir,” said Archie, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, and come to realize that there’s just no way we can feed that many prisoners.”
SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
You know what I’m gonna say…so why am I even gonna say it? WHY IS IT ALWAYS BOB!?!?
If everyone would copy and paste that everywhere and it were to reach just one person who needed it, what a blessing that would be!
A lawyer boarded an airplane in Auckland New Zealand with a box of frozen crabs and asked the blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a lawyer and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out.
Shortly before landing in Sydney Australia, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in Auckland New Zealand, please raise your hand?”
Not one hand went up… So she took them home and enjoyed a wonderful meal.
There are two lessons here:
Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.
Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folks think.
I thought this was funny until I went to Krogers today and went through their holiday section … which was not filled with discounted Christmas stuff, but was filled, instead with Valentine’s Day candy!
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.”
The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”
“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”
“I hate office work,” said the son-on-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”
“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don’t like factories and won’t work in a office. What am I going to do with you?”
“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy me out.”
A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees and the next day he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Ok, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.” She immediately replies,
*”The One In The Middle.”*
He was surprised that his mother was so easily able to guess the correct woman,
Truly cursed things are too hard to find these days, so we’re finding them for you.
Horror movies are no longer horrifying, scary books are for the elderly, and Halloween is for children. There’s nothing truly creepy and unsettling to consume anymore, except for the actual state of the world. And that’s a huge bummer.
To remedy this, here’s the last spine-tingling collection of nightmarish pics to keep you up at night of the year.
I wonder if I’m required by law to put up one of these signs…
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
-Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Q: What do you call a doe with no eyes? A: No eyed deer
Q: What do you call a doe with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no eyed deer!
And that’s it…again!
May you be blessed with Love and Happiness, Comfort and Strength, and may our dear Father in Heaven shine His face upon you, until we meet again.
Dragon Laffs 