Dragon Laffs #1495

Dragon Laffs 2campersHey!  I’m back on my regular day, again!  But before we get too started, I have to vent… A LOT!!!

Because I’m so pissed off I can barely stand it.

The way this country and this administration is going is driving me crazy.

Hey Lethal, remember the island plan that we have discussed before, I think maybe it’s time to put that into action.

Why am I so angry?

I can’t believe that no one is going to charge Hillary with anything.  Nothing.  Nada.  She’s getting away Scott free.  The FBI laid out the whole thing.  She used a private server to email classified information, she did not follow protocols for the storage and dissemination of said classified information.  And she lied about it!  But, according to the FBI and now the Justice Department, there are no prosecutors who would prosecute this case because they can’t show that she INTENDED to break the rules.

Now, let me tell you, from my own government employee position, what the problem with all of that is.  In order to get and maintain a security clearance you have to take an annual course on information security.  It is beat into our heads.  So her saying that she didn’t know is pure, unadulterated bullshit.

She knew.

And she did it anyway.

I have 9 years of emails on my computer going back to the day I was hired on here.  Every email I have ever sent or received.  And the government has THAT backed up somewhere as well.

For one single instance of what she had done…well…for the first instance, I MIGHT keep my job.  But, as much as we have been trained and warned, probably not.
For nowhere NEAR as much as  she did, I’d be in jail with the key thrown away.

Now add in the poor police officers being shot in Dallas and who does Obama blame?  The guns.  Are you seriously kidding me?
Does anyone out there really believe that gun control will take guns out of the hands of evil people?
Anyone?
Anyone?
If you try to control guns all you’re going to do is make it harder and harder for the average, law-abiding citizen to own one.
Or is that, maybe, the whole idea?
Look, as has been said many, many times before, by many different people, democratically controlled Chicago has the toughest gun control laws in the country and also happens to be the number one city in the country for gun violence.  It doesn’t work in your own backyard Mr. Obama, why in the world do you think it would work for the rest of us?

And not to take anything away from the deaths of those poor, heroic officers, I will remain in mourning for them and praying for their families.  May God’s blessings and comfort be on their families and friends.

To move on to a much happier subject, there are two very special events that we need to talk about today!

First of all, we all here at Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media and Technologies would like to wish our dear friend, fellow camper, ezine patron, and fellow semi-mythological creature (as well as a really good sport <wink! wink!=””> ) Ginny a happy birthday!

Happy_birthday
Surprise!!!!
Birthday%20Cake
As you watch, dozens of beautiful fairies push out a large cart with an even larger cake on top from off stage left.  And from off stage right enter several of the troll firemen holding a hose and several large hand held fire extinguishers.  The reason for the emergency personnel is immediately obvious as the top of the many layered cake is completely covered with candles.  The light is so bright that many of the patrons in the front rows have shaded their eyes.
birthday-cake-fire
Ginny is being dragged on stage by Impish towards the flaming cake.  Being a dragon, he’s not really susceptible to heat, but being mostly human, Ginny is shielding her eyes as she is drawn closer and closer.  Lethal Leprechaun, who is standing off the stage is watching this whole thing with a big smile on his face.

Now Ginny!  Make a wish and blow out the candles!  Go on, you can do it!  Oh for goodness sake, at least give it a try.

So making a token effort, Ginny leans ever so little closer to the cake and makes a half-hearted blowing motion and as soon as she does, every single candle on the cake disappears with a little different colored flash.  Suddenly there is no heat or light.  It’s as if it were never there.

Magic!  Of course!  For a special magical lady on her special day!

Happy Birthday Ginny.

And as Impish leads everyone into several choruses of “Happy Birthday To You” and the fairies begin to pass out birthday cake (starting with the patrons first served on beautiful china dessert dishes and very large portions, while the non-patrons are served normal sized portions on paper plates and plastic forks) you are urged to begin today’s issue.

Oh, by the way, there was another special event this past week, Thursday, July 7th as a matter of fact, and I’m sure many of you ladies out there celebrated it whether you knew it or not.  It was World Chocolate Day.  http://kwqc.com/2016/07/07/thursday-is-world-chocolate-day/
Let's Laugh

Let’s start today out with a GREAT idea a gas station owner in Minnesota had after being robbed twice in the last three months!

Absolutely ingenious!  I’d like to see other store owners doing the same thing!

And now as important as the last one was, this one is just plain silly!

 

2090

2088

2091

Here’s a quick little historical fact from:
Papa

Who says building a border wall won’t work?

The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago

and they still don’t have any Mexicans.

2092

Dragon Pix

d2016062801

My dream home.  We all have dreams, and this is what my dream home would look like.

2089

Ain’t that the truth!

I know that Independence Day is over, but there were and are some great videos of fireworks and, even more fun, the science behind the fireworks.  Here’s a short video, but with a little bit of looking, there are all kinds of really interesting videos on how fireworks are made and how the function.

2092

 

Fantasy Pix

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Sword practice with Lethal Leprechaun.  Although not in the picture, you can tell he’s involved because the strap of her dress has been cut and she is trying to hold it up and defend herself at the same time.  Once they’ve sparred with him the first time, most of the women trainees won’t go against our leprechaun because they end up practically naked by the time they’re done.

2093

An elderly man feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked.

The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, but meanwhile, suggested a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.

“Here’s what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.

So that evening she’s in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room, and he says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens when I talk to her.”

 “Honey, what’s for dinner?” He calls.
No response.

 So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away.
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response

scream joke

So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. He starts shouting.
“HONEY, what’s for dinner?”
No response

On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away.
“HONEY, what’s for DINNER??”.
No response.

 So he walks right up behind her and screams:
“HONEY, WHAT’S FOR DINNER??!?!

 His wife turns to him a rage and screams.

 CHICKEN, CHICKEN! For the FIFTH TIME, WE’RE HAVING CHICKEN!!!

This has actually happened at my house.  It’s not that Mrs. Dragon couldn’t hear my question, I couldn’t hear her answer.

2094

Another drinking and driving statistic.

This picture was posted on a website with this accompanying question;

If you were in a public place, would you feel comfortable with him sitting ten (10) feet away from your children?

  10

This is the thoughtful response from one (1) of the readers;

“I would gently explain to my children that while it’s his absolute right to do it, I don’t approve. 

Then I would let them know, in no uncertain terms, that if I ever catch THEM wearing brown slacks, blue socks and black shoes, IN PUBLIC, I’ll slap the stupid out of em.”
Texas Mom

2095

Politics

It is absolutely amazing to me how many political cartoons and pictures I have in the queue.  I could do nothing but political cartoons for five issues in a row and still not get rid of them all…plus, by then, I’d probably be filled back up again, anyway.  So, here’s a happy bunch.  Enjoy!
4ba

4ca

4f

4q

You gotta admit, it’s a pretty good extra step.

4r

4s

4t

4u

Ain’t that about right!  I’m so sick of these people…let’s move on to something else.

2096

A man walks into a bar with a large box. He sits down at the bar. Then the bartender goes up to him and asks what’s in the box.
 
The man says, “I’ll show you, but only if you get me a beer.”

So of course the bartender gets the man a beer. The man drinks it. He pulls out a tiny human from the box, then a tiny piano. The little man sits down and starts playing the piano with skill.

“Wow!” exclaims the bartender. “That’s amazing! Where did you get him from?”

“For another beer, I’ll tell you,” says the man. So the bartender gets the man another beer. The man drinks it and says: “I got it from a genie.”

“Really? A real genie??” says the bartender. “Do you think I could borrow him for one little wish?”

And for another beer the man agrees, but warns: “Speak loudly – he’s 3,000 years old and a little deaf.”

The bartender gets the man another beer. The man drinks it and gives the bartender the lamp.

The bartender rubs the lamp and the genie pops out, looking very old. “Master, I grant you one wish. What is it?” says the tired old genie.

“I wish for a million bucks!”

All of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. “What the heck is this?!? I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!” shouts the bartender in anger.

And the man says: “Boo hoo! Do you think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?”

2097

THE SMART WIFE

This a true example of when two people really know each other:
 Retired Veteran with a very Smart Wife.

 Early one morning, an elderly retired veteran just finished a piece of artwork

he had been working on and yelled to his wife. “Honey! Come see what I created! It’s an abstract panorama, depicting the seven Years of the Obama administration!”

 She yelled back, “Flush the toilet, Jim, and come eat your breakfast!”

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motivational

Again, one of our favorite sections.  Always worth a laugh.
License

Lies

Life

Life2

Life3

Life4

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Human peach?

Well, dear campers, it’s midnight and this has to go out in two hours and I have to be up in 4 hours for work, so this is where I leave you tonight. 

Be well, take care and God Bless you all.

Cheers Impish

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1494

Header1494campersThere is, of course, a story that goes along with the header you see above.
So much has happened since we last talked, so  pull up a log and have a seat and we’ll get to things.
As many of you know, my son’s been laid up.  I’ve already given you guys the site to donate to, if you wish, but if you want the full story, which his wife very kindly put out, you can go here: https://gogetfunding.com/family-in-need-21/#.V22KQ_Oyf6I.facebook
Anyway, as a side note to that, Mrs. Dragon and I had the Grand-dragonettes for most of last week. 
So, a week ago last Sunday, we took them to my Brother-in-Law’s house and low and behold he had built a pirate ship in his backyard, and that is it pictured in the header.  Now, if there has ever been any boy who didn’t, at one time or another in his life, want to be a pirate then I’ve never met him.  They had a blast playing with the other younger kids in Mrs. Dragon’s family and it was a nice day.  20160530_153005
And of course, they had to go swimming again, lol.
We did some arts & crafts, played in the backyard, went swimming, helped Grandpa clean out the shed and the garage (a little bit), went swimming, went to their dad’s house (my son’s house) and mowed the lawn for him, and we went swimming a little.  Overall, it was a really good week.

Now, Let’s go ahead and get started and in a little while, I’ll give you an update on the Independence Day Picnic, Party and Orgy that is currently (as I’m writing this) taking place at the DL&LL Mountain Resort and Play Area.
Let's Laugh2076

So, this first one has been around many, many times. But, as a Vet and currently working for the United States Air Force (as a civilian) I can’t express to you the times that I have seen Veterans not only not given their due, but outright disparaged.  It makes me sick. 

But this isn’t one of those stories, although there is a mention of that type of behavior.  This is more a feel good story and it comes from our buddy and fellow camper K2As I came out of the supermarket that sunny day, pushing my cart of groceries towards my car, I saw an old man with the hood of his car up and a lady sitting inside the car, with the door open.  The old man was looking at the engine.

I put my groceries away in my car, and continued to watch the old gentleman from about twenty five feet away.

I saw a young man in his early twenties with a grocery bag in his arm walking towards the old man. The old gentleman saw him coming too, and took a few steps towards him.

I saw the old gentleman point to his open hood and say something. The young man put his grocery bag into what looked like a brand new Cadillac Escalade. He then turned back to the old man. I heard him yell at the old gentleman saying: “You shouldn’t even be allowed to drive a car at your age.” And then with a wave of his hand, he got in his car and peeled rubber out of the parking lot.

I saw the old gentleman pull out his handkerchief, and mop his brow as he went back to his car and again looked at the engine. He then went to his wife and spoke with her; he appeared to tell her it would be okay.

I had seen enough, and I approached the old man.

He saw me coming and stood straight, and as I got near him I said, ‘Looks like you’re having a problem.’

He smiled sheepishly, and quietly nodded his head.

I looked under the hood myself, and knew that whatever the problem was, it was beyond me.

Looking around, I saw a gas station up the road, and I told the old man that I would be right back. I drove to the station and I went inside. I saw three attendants working on cars. I approached one of them, and related the problem the old man had with his car. I offered to pay them if they could follow me back down and help him.

The old man had pushed the heavy car under the shade of a tree and appeared to be comforting his wife. When he saw us he straightened up and thanked me for my help. As the mechanics diagnosed the problem (overheated engine), I spoke with the old gentleman.

When I shook hands with him earlier, he had noticed my Marine Corps ring and had commented about it, telling me that he had been a Marine too. I nodded and asked the usual question, ‘What outfit did you serve with?’

He had mentioned that he served with the first Marine Division at Tarawa, Saipan, Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal …

He had hit all the big ones and retired from the Corps after the war was over. As we talked we heard the car engine come on and saw the mechanics lower the hood. They came over to us as the old man reached for his wallet, but was stopped by me. I told him I would just put the bill on my AAA card.

He still reached for the wallet and handed me a card that I assumed had his name and address on it and I stuck it in my pocket. We shook hands all around again, and I said my goodbye’s to his wife.

I then told the two mechanics that I would follow them back up to the station. Once at the station, I told them that they had interrupted their own jobs to come along with me and help the old man. I said I wanted to pay for the help, but they refused to charge me. 

One of them pulled out a card from his pocket, looking exactly like the card the old man had given to me. Both of the men told me then that they were Marine Corps Reserves. Once again we shook hands all around and as I was leaving, one of them told me I should look at the card the old man had given to me. I said I would and drove off.

For some reason I had gone about two blocks, when I pulled over and took the card out of my pocket and looked at it for a long, long time. The name of the old gentleman was on the card in golden leaf and under his name was written:  ‘Congressional Medal of Honor Society.’

I sat there motionless, looking at the card and reading it over and over. I looked up from the card and smiled to no one but myself and marveled that on this day, four Marines had all come together because one of us needed help. He was an old man all right, but it felt good to have stood next to greatness and courage, and an honor to have been in his presence.


Remember, OLD men like him gave their FREEDOM for America .  Thanks to those who served and still serve, and to all of those who supported them, and who continue to support them.

Anyone else who served was moved by that story as much as I.  And in all honesty, it doesn’t matter if it is true or not.  It just gives hope that the America we all know and miss might still be hiding out there amongst it’s people.

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So, of course with the grandkids here this whole week, you know I got both photos and videos of some of the things we did.  In this first video, the oldest grandchild goes swimming.  Let’s watch.

Okay, so that was NOT the grandchild.  That was the neighbor.  I’m really sorry, I’ll keep looking for the right video.

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Dragon Pixstorytime_nc_MO10So, bedtime this week has been lots of fun with the grandkids.  We’ve spent some time telling stories and having a really good nighttime routine.

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This is a really interesting video about a guy who is going to take a hive of honey bees out of an old tire and get them to move to a new hive.

And this one is a demo of one of the new DL&LL assistant robots that Boston Dynamics has developed for us.  If you were to ever get behind the scenes into the actual working area of our mountain, you will begin to see more and more of these:


And to give you an idea of what’s coming next for DL&LL Enterprises in our R&D department:

 

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Fantasy Pixf2010062701Believe it or not, our dear Ginny (shown above in her “dancing slave girl” costume) teaches aerobic dancing in our mountain resort.  She’s everybody’s favorite when they bring out that big brass pole for her to use.  No, I’m not talking about Braninski Brownie, I’m talking about a real pole made of brass.  Sheesh you guys!

So, ….ahem….the party is going along GREAT!  Oh, sorry, did I spill any on you?  (hic!) Sorry ‘bout dat.  Anywho, some one schnapped this picture of old greenie and me, thought I’d (hic!) share it wit youse guys.
d2016070401

I’m not sure how I got his pipe.  I’m probably in troub (hic!) le for dat.

 

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Okay, I can’t help it, I’m finding a bunch of good videos this time around.  In this one, a son saves his father’s life.

And what distracted the dad?  Well, according to the announcers, he was watching a “pretty girl.”

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Okay, I’ve gotten enough political cartoons to sink an election, so let’s jump into our next section called:Politics4a
4aaI know that was in bad taste (ouch! Sorry about that) but you have to admit that it is funny!

4bThat’s an excellent point….

4cOkay, that one was especially a bald faced lie! (I know, I’m sorry, I’ll quit.  I promise) but again, it sure is funny.

4dIf only it were true…

4eRepent!  For the end is near!

4mWe told you at the beginning, when we first started this e-zine stuff fifteen years ago, that we would deal in truth.  And this picture, is about as truthful as it gets.

4nThis is so true, that I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

4o
Okay, one more for luck.  Maybe this last one will be more funny than true.
4pWell, shit! Apparently not.

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stupid
Ah, another one of my new favorite sections.
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5iYup, that pretty much describes everyone of them.

2084That could very easily be either one of my grandsons

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Yup, I can easily see this happening.  When I was stationed in New Mexico, cable TV was just coming out with boxes to scramble the signal.  Until that time, the company had to actually come out to the house and disconnect the wire.  Well, when I moved in to the house I was living in, it already had cable turned on.  No box needed.  So a few years later when the boxes came out I finally had to break down and go to the cable company for the box.  They wanted to charge me for the years that I had been receiving it for free!  I told them it wasn’t my fault that they never turned it off.  It was on when I got there.  How did I know it wasn’t part of my rent or something.  They were highly incensed with me. But, like I told them.  At least they were going to be getting money from me now.

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I’m not really sure burying your head in the ground is the way to go with this one.

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motivational

Levitation

Liberalism

liberals

Liberals2

Library Nazis

Library

The proud owner of a magnificent 1956 Chevrolet convertible, wrote to say he had restored the car to perfection over the last few years, and sent this……

On a very warm summer afternoon he decided to take his car to town.  It needed gas, as the gauge was practically on empty, but he wanted ice cream, so he headed first to his favorite ice cream shop.

He had trouble finding a parking space and had to park the car down a side street.   He noticed a group of young guys standing around smoking cigarettes and eyeing his car rather covetously.  He was a bit uneasy leaving it there, but people often take interest in such an old and well-preserved car, so he went off to enjoy his ice cream.

The line at the ice cream shop was long and it took him quite a while to return to his car.  When he did, his worst fears were realized his car was gone.

He called the police and reported the theft and then went back and bought a quart of pistachio ice cream.  About ten minutes later the police called him to say they had found the car abandoned near a gas station a few miles out of town.

It was unharmed and he was relieved.  It seems just before he called, the police had received a call from a young woman who was an employee at a self-service gas station..  She told them that three young men had driven in with this beautiful old convertible.  One of them came to the window and prepaid for 20 dollars-worth of gas.

Then all three of them walked around the car, looking at it carefully, and then just walked away without filling the tank..

The question is, why would anybody steal a car, pay for gas that they never pumped, and then abandon the car later and walk away?

 Scroll down —

 Answer: They couldn’t find where to put the gas!
001a

Thanks to Ginny

for this great story!

 

last word

Shhh!!!!  Gawd, don’t whisper so loud.  Today is Tuesday, and I realized that I have to finish this off for tomorrow and I’m really majorly hung over from last night.  Well, you remember that recipe that his greenness put in his Independence Day Issue?
Shhhhh!!! Oh geez!  That was a rhetorical question!  Just assume that all questions from now on are rhetorical and be as quiet as you possibly can.
Just so you know, if ANY of you happen to drop anything loud, like a coffee cup or something, you better throw yourself overtop of it before it can make any noise or in my pain-filled reaction you and the people sitting closest to you will probably end up burnt to a crisp.
Right, so after getting completely sloshed in my little blue dragon persona that you all know so well from the party, I changed to my human form and went to a buddies house for a barbeque. 
While there we tried out Lethal’s PeachComber recipe

Capture000001Anyway, I mixed up a pitcher of them and gave out shot glasses to everyone (about 30 people) and every single one of them, to the last person, LOVED it.  Needless to say, we used up all the rum that we had available and were going to run to the store to get more when we all kind of realized that NONE of us were sober enough to drive!  Those dastardly little Peachcombers had snuck up on us and we didn’t even realize it.
So, I’m going to have to say that although this drink was a HUGE success, it MUST come with a warning label.  Something like:
WARNING: This drink will sneak up behind you and beat the shit out of you while you’re not looking!
Or maybe:
WARNING: This drink will make you feel like a kid again, until you wake up and try to brush something off your shoulder and you realize it’s the floor.
Yeah, something like that.
Sneaky little bastardly peachcombers.
Until Saturday my friends.
Cheers Impish

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs Independence Day

image

Your arrival at DL/LL Media HQ begins as it did for Memorial Day with your getting checked in, receiving your wrist band, luggage routing tags and assigned to buses.This however today is being accomplished with a great sense of urgency and some of you are felling rushed, unless you’re a Patron Reader, in which case you simply leave your luggage with a CyberLethal and enter the stretch limo to be whisked off to the Parade/Campground area.

When you arrive at the Parade/Campground you are greeted by Lethal who begin by apologizing for the rushed sign in.

“I am sorry but ’twas necessary as some of you like to arrive extremely fashionably late (Hey! You bloody grumblers, don’t make me call you out by name and mention how a few of you are so late as to be behind in your reading by several issues!). We’ve got hot food hot beverage, soon to be very hot weather plus a fly over by Impish towing some patriotic banner that he towed over several local tow parades this morning so we…”

Suddenly Lethal stops mid sentence and holds a single finger in a just a second gesture.

“Go for Lethal Control”

He listens intently for several seconds before sighing then saying, “Patch him through on my PDA please”. He removes the device from his vest then makes several swipe and tap gestures on it. Suddenly, you can hear a some what garbled Impish speaking.

“… jumped me coming out of Saurionshire. Managed to evade but now fouled in banner. Vision extremely limited, wing movement impeded, landing gear tangled in banner cannot deploy, tail steering affected…crackle”

“Dragon One from Shamrock Actual, are you declaring an emergency?”

“I…ah…that is I was canceling the flyby. I think I might be able to make a semi-successful landing or at least not crash to much more badly than most of my landings.”

“Break Comms! Control to Lethal: We have Dragon One visually 20 miles out flying an erratic course and trailing smoke…we think the banner might be on fire.”

“Understood Control.  Roll Crash crew to the Campground Pond area now. Break. Dragon One did you copy that?

Lethal momentarily direct his attention back to you all standing there listening to what is transpiring and peering into the skies somewhat nervously.

Ladies and Gentleman, at this time for your own safety I’d ask you seek shelter on the other side of your buses for the moment until after Impish is down. I appreciate your co-operation and apologize for the inconvenience and the delay. We should have the situ…”

“Dragon One here. Uh yeah…was wondering why I was getting a bit warm back there. Them miserable witches must have fire balled me after they got me tangled up in this banner.”

“Dragon One to be clear, you are flying on Instrument Flight Rules only, with near zero pilot visibility, limited flight controls and possibly have an onboard fire condition culminating in a high possibility of an uncontrolled crash landing, am I correct?

“Dragon One to Shamrock Actual: Well since you’re going to put it like that…Break!

This is Dragon One to Control: I am declaring an Inflight Emergency subject to previous described situation. I am unsure of my exact position with regard to Dragon HQ. Request straight as possible approach and to be talked down.”

“Control from Shamrock Actual: Give him steering cues for a west to east approach of the Campground. Try to line him up for legs up belly slide into the retention pond.”

“Control copies Shamrock One. Break. Dragon One: You should be receiving steering cues for emergency landing sight now.”

“Roger I feel them. How far out an I?”

“Control to Dragon One we show you 15 miles out. Suggest you begin to reduce your altitude and slow your speed.”

“Negative on slowing down Control. Going to have to come in hot. I cannot unfurl wings far enough to generate extra lift needed for slow flight.”

“Shamrock Actual to Crash Crew: Give me a 1/4 mile foam approach to pond and raise the nets. Break. Impish, I’m going to guide you in from 5 miles out. I’m not going to lie to you, this is going to be ugly and you’ll hurt in the morning, but I promise you’ll be in more or less one piece.”

“Uh…I’m not sure I like the sounds of that Lethal, especially the more or less part. Don’t you have any other options?”

“Sure. I can steer you right into a mountain or that stand of giant Iron wood trees we found if you prefer.”

“Aww what the heck, I was going to need a bath before I could join the party anyways. I’ll trust you.

“Ok Impish I can see you now. Your sliding right, come back left. More. More. Ok hold that line. Now see if you can drop a little to just above the tree tops, don’t worry if you pick up a little speed, I think I know how to bleed some off.

Wait for it..wait for it…ok now belly brush those tree tops in front of you that should bleed off some speed”

Impish can be heard grunting, oafing, groaning and cursing over the open mic.

“OK nice job. That helped even more than I expected it too. Now just continue to descend- your about 30 seconds from landing. When I tell you to I want you to flare out I know you cant flare your wings so I want you to use them as speed brakes of a sort- wing tips in tight, elbows out and up high. Keep you head way up too as you’ll need as much drag as you can get. Clear?”

“Impish copies all. Please tell me your not taping this for Youtube!”

“I’m not personally, but I’d bet about one hundred of the readers are… OK NOW! FLARE AND RAISE SPEED BRAKES!”

Those of you tall enough and brave enough to peer out from behind the buses see a Red White and Blue wrapped dragon hit a giant foamy slip and slide belly first and quickly  disappear from view. Several loud ‘twangs!’ are heard as the anchor points to the landing safety nets let go. This is followed a scant second later by a loud splash and a fifty foot high gout of water going up into the air and returning to the pond. Moment later a voice you assume to be the On Scene Commander of the Crash Crew comes over the radio yelling.

“GO! GO! GO! Find the ends of the net hook them to the trucks we’ll use it to tow him out of the pond!

Crash Command to Shamrock Actual: we have him sir. Fire is out. He’s thrashing about quite a bit but we should have him out of the water and cut free of all the entanglements by the end of the issue though slightly worse for the wear.”

“Roger Crash Command good job. Break. Control from Shamrock Actual: Dragon One has landed. Inflight Emergency is hereby canceled. Resume normal Ops.

“Ladies and Gentleman I do apologize on behalf of Impish and myself for the excitement and delay. I suggest without further ado we make haste to the brunch buffet and the issue if that alright with you all.”

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Ladies & Gentleman I would ask that you join Impish and I in standing for our Nation Anthem at this time.

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United States National Anthem (The Star Spangled Banner)(by The United States Army Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps)

Bet ‘cher ass it still does and long may it continue to do so!

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God, Country, Corps- the only 3 things in life that come before my coffee. Family better have the good sense to wait until I’ve had at least half of my first cup before coming at me!

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Independence Day of the United States, also referred to as the Fourth of July or July Fourth in the U.S., is a federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, by the Continental Congress declaring that the thirteen American colonies regarded themselves as a new nation, the United States of America, and no longer part of the British Empire.[1] Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games, family reunions, and political speeches and ceremonies, in addition to various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States. Independence Day is the National Day of the United States.

During the American Revolution, the legal separation of the Thirteen Colonies from Great Britain occurred on July 2, 1776, when the Second Continental Congress voted to approve a resolution of independence that had been proposed in June by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia declaring the United States independent from Great Britain rule.[5][6] After voting for independence, Congress turned its attention to the Declaration of Independence, a statement explaining this decision, which had been prepared by a Committee of Five, with Thomas Jefferson as its principal author. Congress debated and revised the wording of the Declaration, finally approving it on July 4. A day earlier, John Adams had written to his wife Abigail:

The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.[7]

Adams’s prediction was off by two days. From the outset, Americans celebrated independence on July 4, the date shown on the much-publicized Declaration of Independence, rather than on July 2, the date the resolution of independence was approved in a closed session of Congress.[8]

Historians have long disputed whether Congress actually signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, even though Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Benjamin Franklin all later wrote that they had signed it on that day. Most historians have concluded that the Declaration was signed nearly a month after its adoption, on August 2, 1776, and not on July 4 as is commonly believed.

Coincidentally, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the only signers of the Declaration of Independence later to serve as Presidents of the United States, died on the same day: July 4, 1826, which was the 50th anniversary of the Declaration. Although not a signer of the Declaration of Independence, but another Founding Father who became a President, James Monroe, died on July 4, 1831, thus becoming the third President in a row who died on the holiday. Calvin Coolidge, the 30th President, was born on July 4, 1872, and, so far, is the only U.S. President to have been born on Independence Day.

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Van T. Barfoot, Va. Medal of Honor recipient who won fight to fly flag in front yard, dies at 92

Now some of you might be saying this is the wrong holiday to be remembering or honoring this Vet. You’d be wrong, but only because you jumped to the assumption we were honoring the man for his service and mourning his passing. Don’t get me wrong we are of course doing that as well and certainly he is deserving of it.

What makes honoring him on Independence Day is his devotion to probably the most iconic symbol of our hard won America Freedoms as well as to his right to display it. I’m speaking of course of Old Glory, The Stars and Bars, the Stars and Stripes, the American Flag.

His passing was just recently called to my attention by reader and kibitzer Paul K-9 who sent me the unattributed email that follows. The email ceases before the Washington Post Obit.

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Remember the guy who wouldn’t take the flag pole down on his Virginia property a while back? You might remember the news story several months ago about a crotchety old man in Virginia who defied his local Homeowners Association, and refused to take down the flag pole on his property along with the large American flag he flew on it. Now we learn who that old man was. On June 15, 1919, Van T. Barfoot was born in Edinburg , Miss . That probably didn’t make news back then.

But twenty-five years later, on May 23, 1944, near Carano,  Italy, that same Van T. Barfoot, who had in 1940 enlisted in the U.S. Army, set out alone to flank German machine gun positions from which gunfire was raining down on his fellow soldiers. His advance took him through a minefield but having done so, he proceeded to single-handedly take out three enemy machine gun positions, returning with 17 prisoners of war.

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And if that weren’t enough for a day’s work, he later took on and destroyed three German tanks sent to retake the machine gun positions.

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That probably didn’t make much news either, given the scope of the war, but it did earn
Van T. Barfoot, who retired as a Colonel after also serving in Korea and Vietnam , a well
deserved Medal of Honor.

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What did make news… Was his Neighborhood Association’s quibble with how the 90-year-old veteran chose to fly the American flag outside his suburban Virginia home. Seems the HOA rules said it was OK to fly a flag on a house-mounted bracket, but, for decorum, items such as Barefoot ‘s   21-foot flagpole was “unsuitable”.

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Van Barefoot had been denied a permit for the pole, but erected it anyway and was facing
court action unless he agreed to take it down.

Then the HOA story made national TV, and the Neighborhood Association rethought
its position and agreed to indulge this aging hero who dwelt among them.

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“In the time I have left”,  he said to the Associated Press, “I plan to continue to fly the American flag without interference.”

As well he should.

And if any of his neighbors had taken a notion to contest him further, they might have done well to read his Medal of Honor citation first. (see below)  Seems it indicates Mr. Van Barfoot  wasn’t particularly good at backing down.

From his Washington Post Obituary:

Retired Army Col. Van T. Barfoot, who received the Medal of Honor during World War II and decades later drew national attention when he fought successfully against his homeowners association to keep a flagpole flying the Stars and Stripes in his front yard, died March 2 at a hospital in Richmond. He was 92.

He had complications from a fall, said his daughter Margaret Nicholls.

Col. Barfoot grew up on a Mississippi cotton plantation before enlisting in the Army infantry in 1940. By the end of his career in 1974, he had served in three wars and received the military’s highest award for valor — the Medal of Honor — for leading an assault on German troops during World War II.

n retirement, he lived a quiet life in rural central Virginia — tending to his vegetable garden, filling his bird feeders and catching catfish in his private pond — before moving to the Richmond suburbs in the summer of 2009.

Col. Barfoot erected a 21-foot flagpole in his front yard not long after taking up residence in the Sussex Square development in Henrico County.

Even as a nonagenarian, Col. Barfoot awoke every morning to hoist the American flag. At dusk, he lowered and folded the flag, hugging the triangular bundle to his chest as he walked back inside.

The community, governed by a homeowners association, had denied Col. Barfoot’s initial request to put the flagpole in his yard, citing rules to maintain curb appeal.

The homeowners association sent him a letter ordering him to remove the flagpole and threatened to take Col. Barfoot to court to enforce the neighborhood’s rules.

Col. Barfoot refused, and the resulting news brought support from Democrats and Republicans in the state and beyond.

From the White House, Obama administration spokesman Robert Gibbs told reporters: “The president believes — I think all of us believe — that the very least we can do is show our gratitude and thanks to somebody that served our country so admirably.”

Pressured by critics, the homeowners association relented in December 2009 and allowed Col. Barfoot to keep his flagpole.

According to his Medal of Honor citation:

On May 23, 1944, Col. Barfoot was ordered to lead an assault on German positions. He went out alone and crawled to within feet of a German bunker.

He tossed a grenade inside, killing two Germans and wounding three others. He then moved to another bunker nearby and killed two more German soldiers with his submachine gun while taking three others prisoner. A third machine gun crew, watching Col. Barfoot’s methodical assault, surrendered to him. In all, 17 Germans gave themselves up to Col. Barfoot.

In retaliation, the Germans organized a counterattack on Col. Barfoot’s position, sending three tanks toward him.

Col. Barfoot grabbed a bazooka grenade launcher and stood 75 yards in front of the leading tank. His first shot stopped it in its tracks. He then killed three of the German tank crew members who had attempted to escape.

The other two tanks, witnessing the destruction, abruptly changed directions, moving away from Col. Barfoot. Returning to his platoon, he helped carry two wounded U.S. soldiers almost a mile to safety.

Commending his “Herculean efforts,” Col. Barfoot’s citation praised his “magnificent valor and aggressive determination in the face of pointblank fire.”

Col. Barfoot served in the Korean War and later in Vietnam as a helicopter pilot. His other military decorations included the Silver Star; two awards of the Legion of Merit; the Bronze Star; three awards of the Purple Heart; and 11 awards of the Air Medal.

In 2010, Virginia Gov. Robert F. McDonnell (R) signed legislation inspired by Col. Barfoot that prohibited homeowners associations from barring the proper display of the U.S. flag.

Ladies and Gentleman I ask that you join me in honoring this man, his beliefs in the principles our Founding Fathers based this Country on and honor with this holiday as well as his great love of an for our country by joining Impish and I in the Pledge of Allegiance. Somehow I feel it’s a sure bet though never mentioned Col. Barfoot recited it too everyday.

US pledge of allegiance (Lee Greenwood )

 

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That’s it! Teach them right while they’re young. Before those liberal brainwashing teachers start trying to fill them with anti American socialistic touchy feely crap!

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The Execution of Nathan Hale, 1776

imageThe Making of a Martyr

Nathan Hale was a lieutenant in the Continental Army. In his early twenties, Hale had worked as a schoolteacher before the Revolution. In late September 1776 he volunteered to cross the British lines and travel to Long Island in order to gather intelligence. Unfortunately, his mission was soon discovered and he was captured by the British. Taken to General Howe’s headquarters (commander of the British forces) in New York, the young spy was interrogated and executed on September 22.

Word of the execution was brought to General Washington’s headquarters shortly after by a British officer carrying a flag of truce. Captain William Hull of the Continental Army was present and recalled the event:

“In a few days an officer came to our camp, under a flag of truce, and informed Hamilton, then a captain of artillery, but afterwards the aid of General Washington, that Captain Hale had been arrested within the British lines condemned as a spy, and executed that morning.

I learned the melancholy particulars from this officer, who was present at his execution and seemed touched by the circumstances attending it.

He said that Captain Hale had passed through their army, both of Long Island and York Island. That he had procured sketches of the fortifications, and made memoranda of their number and different positions. When apprehended, he was taken before Sir William Howe, and these papers, found concealed about his person, betrayed his intentions. He at once declared his name, rank in the American army, and his object in coming within the British lines.

Sir William Howe, without the form of a trial, gave orders for his execution the following morning. He was placed in the custody of the Provost Marshal, who was a refugee and hardened to human suffering and every softening sentiment of the heart. Captain Hale, alone, without sympathy or support, save that from above, on the near approach of death asked for a clergyman to attend him. It was refused. He then requested a Bible; that too was refused by his inhuman jailer.

‘On the morning of his execution,’ continued the officer, ‘my station was near the fatal spot, and I requested the Provost Marshal to permit the prisoner to sit in my marquee, while he was making the necessary preparations. Captain Hale entered: he was calm, and bore himself with gentle dignity, in the consciousness of rectitude and high intentions. He asked for writing materials, which I furnished him: he wrote two letters, one to his mother and one to a brother officer.’ He was shortly after summoned to the gallows. But a few persons were around him, yet his, characteristic dying words were remembered. He said, ‘I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.'”

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Independence Day is a national holiday marked by patriotic displays. Similar to other summer-themed events, Independence Day celebrations often take place outdoors. Independence Day is a federal holiday, so all non-essential federal institutions (like the postal service and federal courts) are closed on that day. Many politicians make it a point on this day to appear at a public event to praise the nation’s heritage, laws, history, society, and people.

Families often celebrate Independence Day by hosting or attending a picnic or barbecue and take advantage of the day off and, in some years, long weekend to gather with relatives. Decorations (e.g., streamers, balloons, and clothing) are generally colored red, white, and blue, the colors of the American flag. Parades are often in the morning, while fireworks displays occur in the evening at such places as parks, fairgrounds, or town squares.

The night before the Fourth was once the focal point of celebrations, marked by raucous gatherings often incorporating bonfires as their centerpiece. In New England, towns competed to build towering pyramids, assembled from barrels and casks. They were lit at nightfall, to usher in the celebration. The highest were in Salem, Massachusetts (on Gallows Hill, the famous site of the execution of 13 women and 6 men for witchcraft in 1692 during the Salem witch trials, where the tradition of bonfires in celebration had persisted), composed of as many as forty tiers of barrels; these are the tallest bonfires ever recorded. The custom flourished in the 19th and 20th centuries, and is still practiced in some New England towns.[19]

4th of July Cartoon Lesson – Home School House Rock – Fireworks

 

important msg

Some of you didn’t heed my warning about the hot temps and strong sun that might have gotten lost during the unscheduled events of my opening comments. I again admonish you to apply lots of sun screen to those parts of you that normally don’t get to see the sun.         I understand that for some of you that means your entire bodies but it can’t be helped. We’ve already had one unfortunate incident today (no not Impish’s crash, see below) and we’d like to avoid anymore this weekend so do your part won’t you?

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The Liberty Bell is an iconic symbol of American independence, located in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Formerly placed in the steeple of the Pennsylvania State House (now renamed Independence Hall), the bell today is located in the Liberty Bell Center in Independence National Historical Park. The bell was commissioned from the London firm of Lester and Pack (today the Whitechapel Bell Foundry) in 1752, and was cast with the lettering “Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof,” a Biblical reference from the Book of Leviticus (25:10). The bell first cracked when rung after its arrival in Philadelphia, and was twice recast by local workmen John Pass and John Stow, whose last names appear on the bell. In its early years, the Liberty Bell was used to summon lawmakers to legislative sessions and to alert citizens to public meetings and proclamations.

No immediate announcement was made of the Second Continental Congress’s vote for independence, and thus the bell could not have rung on July 4, 1776, at least not for any reason related to that vote. Bells were rung to mark the reading of the Declaration of Independence on July 8, 1776, and while there is no contemporary account of the Liberty Bell ringing, most historians believe it was one of the bells rung. After American independence was secured, it fell into relative obscurity for some years. In the 1830s, the bell was adopted as a symbol by abolitionist societies, who dubbed it the “Liberty Bell.”

The bell acquired its distinctive large crack sometime in the early 19th century—a widespread story claims it cracked while ringing after the death of Chief Justice John Marshall in 1835. The bell became famous after an 1847 short story claimed that an aged bell-ringer rang it on July 4, 1776, upon hearing of the Second Continental Congress’s vote for independence. Despite the fact that the bell did not ring for independence on that July 4, the tale was widely accepted as fact, even by some historians. Beginning in 1885, the City of Philadelphia, which owns the bell, allowed it to go to various expositions and patriotic gatherings. The bell attracted huge crowds wherever it went, additional cracking occurred and pieces were chipped away by souvenir hunters. The last such journey occurred in 1915, after which the city refused further requests.

After World War II, the city allowed the National Park Service to take custody of the bell, while retaining ownership. The bell was used as a symbol of freedom during the Cold War and was a popular site for protests in the 1960s. It was moved from its longtime home in Independence Hall to a nearby glass pavilion on Independence Mall in 1976, and then to the larger Liberty Bell Center adjacent to the pavilion in 2003. The bell has been featured on coins and stamps, and its name and image have been widely used by corporations.

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SOUSA The Stars and Stripes Forever – “The President’s Own” U.S. Marine Band

 

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NO! It’s NOT time for the fireworks yet! Geeze! Ok! OK! I’ll start tossing a few fireworks pictures in just to help with your jonesing symptoms, ok?

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Food, Family, Fourth of July, and Fireworks. The four best F words ever!

 

Lethal Libations

While your kicking back as George suggests and perusing a little grilled happiness here is something sure to aid in that pursuit and wet your whistle at the same time.

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Peachcomber
– 1.5 OZ Spiced Rum
– 0.5 OZ Sour Mix
– 2 OZ Peach Juice
– 1 OZ Club Soda
Mix everything and serve with ice.

If you cannot locate peach juice simply use peach nectar and increase the amount of club soda to 2 OZ. You might want to consider making an entire pitcher of these because they go down easy and fast.

The bucket? That’s Impish’s idea of one small drink. He’ll do it like a shooter.

Yankee Doodle: Music of the American Revolution

 

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A Star-Spangled Birthday Party — Live From the U.S. Capitol!

On July Fourth, America’s national Independence Day celebration honors our country’s birthday with an all-star salute. Broadcast live on PBS from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol, this top-rated extravaganza features coverage from 20 cameras positioned around Washington, D.C., ensuring viewers are front and center for the greatest display of fireworks in the nation.

A Capitol Fourth welcomes back Emmy Award-winning television personality Tom Bergeron to host America’s 240th Independence Day celebration. Broadcast live at 8:00 p.m. ET / 7:00 p.m. CT on PBS.  Click the link below to read about the star studded line up for the program.

http://www.pbs.org/a-capitol-fourth/concert/concert-highlights/

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My Country Tis of Thee by David Crosby and Graham Nash

 

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Paul Revere’s Ride- Poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;
Hardly a man is now alive
Who remembers that famous day and year.

He said to his friend, “If the British march
By land or sea from the town to-night,
Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch
Of the North Church tower as a signal light,–
One if by land, and two if by sea;
And I on the opposite shore will be,
Ready to ride and spread the alarm
Through every Middlesex village and farm,
For the country folk to be up and to arm.”

Then he said “Good-night!” and with muffled oar
Silently rowed to the Charlestown shore,
Just as the moon rose over the bay,
Where swinging wide at her moorings lay
The Somerset, British man-of-war;
A phantom ship, with each mast and spar
Across the moon like a prison bar,
And a huge black hulk, that was magnified
By its own reflection in the tide.

Meanwhile, his friend through alley and street
Wanders and watches, with eager ears,
Till in the silence around him he hears
The muster of men at the barrack door,
The sound of arms, and the tramp of feet,
And the measured tread of the grenadiers,
Marching down to their boats on the shore.

Then he climbed the tower of the Old North Church,
By the wooden stairs, with stealthy tread,
To the belfry chamber overhead,
And startled the pigeons from their perch
On the somber rafters, that round him made
Masses and moving shapes of shade,–
By the trembling ladder, steep and tall,
To the highest window in the wall,
Where he paused to listen and look down
A moment on the roofs of the town
And the moonlight flowing over all.

Beneath, in the churchyard, lay the dead,
In their night encampment on the hill,
Wrapped in silence so deep and still
That he could hear, like a sentinel’s tread,
The watchful night-wind, as it went
Creeping along from tent to tent,
And seeming to whisper, “All is well!”
A moment only he feels the spell
Of the place and the hour, and the secret dread
Of the lonely belfry and the dead;
For suddenly all his thoughts are bent
On a shadowy something far away,
Where the river widens to meet the bay,–
A line of black that bends and floats
On the rising tide like a bridge of boats.

Meanwhile, impatient to mount and ride,
Booted and spurred, with a heavy stride
On the opposite shore walked Paul Revere.
Now he patted his horse’s side,
Now he gazed at the landscape far and near,
Then, impetuous, stamped the earth,
And turned and tightened his saddle girth;
But mostly he watched with eager search
The belfry tower of the Old North Church,
As it rose above the graves on the hill,
Lonely and spectral and somber and still.
And lo! as he looks, on the belfry’s height
A glimmer, and then a gleam of light!
He springs to the saddle, the bridle he turns,
But lingers and gazes, till full on his sight
A second lamp in the belfry burns.

A hurry of hoofs in a village street,
A shape in the moonlight, a bulk in the dark,
And beneath, from the pebbles, in passing, a spark
Struck out by a steed flying fearless and fleet;
That was all! And yet, through the gloom and the light,
The fate of a nation was riding that night;
And the spark struck out by that steed, in his flight,
Kindled the land into flame with its heat.
He has left the village and mounted the steep,
And beneath him, tranquil and broad and deep,
Is the Mystic, meeting the ocean tides;
And under the alders that skirt its edge,
Now soft on the sand, now loud on the ledge,
Is heard the tramp of his steed as he rides.

It was twelve by the village clock
When he crossed the bridge into Medford town.
He heard the crowing of the cock,
And the barking of the farmer’s dog,
And felt the damp of the river fog,
That rises after the sun goes down.

It was one by the village clock,
When he galloped into Lexington.
He saw the gilded weathercock
Swim in the moonlight as he passed,
And the meeting-house windows, black and bare,
Gaze at him with a spectral glare,
As if they already stood aghast
At the bloody work they would look upon.

It was two by the village clock,
When he came to the bridge in Concord town.
He heard the bleating of the flock,
And the twitter of birds among the trees,
And felt the breath of the morning breeze
Blowing over the meadow brown.
And one was safe and asleep in his bed
Who at the bridge would be first to fall,
Who that day would be lying dead,
Pierced by a British musket ball.

You know the rest. In the books you have read
How the British Regulars fired and fled,—
How the farmers gave them ball for ball,
From behind each fence and farmyard wall,
Chasing the redcoats down the lane,
Then crossing the fields to emerge again
Under the trees at the turn of the road,
And only pausing to fire and load.

So through the night rode Paul Revere;
And so through the night went his cry of alarm
To every Middlesex village and farm,—
A cry of defiance, and not of fear,
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,
And a word that shall echo for evermore!
For, borne on the night-wind of the Past,
Through all our history, to the last,
In the hour of darkness and peril and need,
The people will waken and listen to hear
The hurrying hoof-beats of that steed,
And the midnight message of Paul Revere.

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This is from South Padre Island here in Texas last year on the 4th. They do a heck of a bang up display over the water on  bay side of the island every year.20050908_1_600_400

Keb’ Mo’ – “America the Beautiful”

 

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Wouldn’t be an Independence Day celebration without the Navy’s Blue Angels or Air Force Thunderbirds doing an air show. Here showing Impish how a pilot worth his wings is supposed to fly are the Air Force Thunderbirds.

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Just to keep things even, here is one heck of a patriotic Navy Seahawk Helicopter.

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We’ve a double feature on the fireworks for you today, all told probably close to an hours worth of the best from last year from an across the Nation search.

Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular 2015 NBC

 

As the fire works end a message scrolls along the bottom of all the monitors tuned the the  DDL/LL Digital Media feed. It seems a brief intermission is required to sync up with the next pyrotechnic extravaganza and asking you all stay tuned for the COD’s (Chief Operating Dragon’s) customary holiday remarks.

Moments later, the picture switches to a podium in one of the more formal areas of the party facility. Impish is caught mid limp heading for the podium looking like a combination of the worst aspects of all there figures in the famous ‘Spirit of ‘76’ painting.

Despite his best intention, the garishly loud Hawaiian shirt does little to hide the extreme redness of his chest and lower neck which appear to be the color of either a serious sunburn or the mother of all belly flops.

The giant woven straw hat that would appear more at home on Conchita, who is Jaun Valdez’s burro cannot hide the number band aids, mercurochrome stains and rapidly darkening bruises in a myriad of colors that all combine to render his face a 3-D impression of a Jackson Pollock painting.

Despite all this, Impish sucks it up and stands tall at the podium proudly.  He’s about to start his remarks when suddenly a group of patrons in a tight bunch force there way down front. This being totally out of line for our wonderful patron readers Impish waits to see what it is they are so bent on calling his attention to.  Upon arrival at the front of the room the bunch opens like  clam shell to reveal 3 women clad as witches carrying inverted brooms in their left hands.

A very loud “EEP!” is heard squeak out of Impish followed by a some what more strangled cry for “Security!” as the 3 reach into their robes drawing wands, the tips of which begin to glow as they are flourished about. Suddenly the butt ends of 3 brooms hit the floor 3 times in perfect synchronization. Impish, moaning half as much in pain as in fear, dives for the floor behind the podium. Together in loud clear voices the 3 “witches” can be heard to intonate “Hocus-Pocus-JOKUS! You just got punked Impish!” this is followed by some insane female giggle cackling as the witches try to make a hasty exit but are delayed by a throng of congratulators.

Impish only his head peering over the podium is anything but amused as he recognizes his three tormentors. “I’ll get you Molly McGee, Izzy Dragon and you too Mrs. Dragon, just wait until I get my hands on you I’m going to make you…”

Mrs. Dragon suddenly spins on her heels and starts stalking back towards the podium the broom now slapping ominously against the open palm of her hand. She stops half way back and raises one of her eyebrows as if waiting for Impish to finish his sentence.

“ah..err…all a wonderful dinner you’ll never forget?” he finishes lamely. Mrs. Dragon continues her glare a moment then slowly smiles, nods then turn to hurry to catch up with her departing cohorts.

Impish, his nerves now totally shot motions to someone off stage. Whomever seems to be reluctant to comply with Impish’s request as he repeats the gesture several times, each more emphatically than the last. Finally the last time he raises his voice enough so the mic on the podium catch a part of the comment he directs at the person off stage. “ … yourself fire roasted then peeled so help me…”.  Suddenly a CyberLethal appears pushing a small beverage cart laden with several kid’s plastic sand buckets. The sounds of ice and sloshing beverage can clearly be heard.

Swiftly Impish grabs one and does it like a shooter. The second one take about 15 seconds going down. As the CyberLethal makes to withdraw Impish hurriedly grabs another bucket and says to the CyberLethal, “Be sure that chickens shit refills those empties and replaces this bucket. I’ll need this one here as Lethal is right, talking is thirsty work and these Peachcombers do go down real easy.”

Impish reaches into his shirt for an extra large crazy straw placing it in the bucket which he carefully sets down on the podium before looking up at you all and the cameras.

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My Thoughts Independence Day by Impish Dragon.

In the late 1700’s, the men and women of the American Colonies figured out that their rulers didn’t have their best interest at heart.  They realized that with them being so far away, they were basically a commodity and not human beings who could be loyal members of a great and thriving country.  They were treated as if their opinions didn’t matter, that they had no rights, and that they should just shut up and color.

Sadly, the same thing is happening to us today.  But, it is our own elected rulers who are treating us like things.  Treating us as if we don’t matter.  You know all of us animals in the barnyard are equal.  It’s just some of us are more equal than others and some of us aren’t good enough to be “in the house” animals.  (With my apologies to George Orwell).

The 4th of July – Independence Day – celebrated across the country with American Flags; red, white and blue everywhere; fireworks; picnics and many other traditions that we so strongly hold on to.  But, have you ever thought what the holiday REALLY stands for?

Have you ever thought of the real sacrifices that our Founding Fathers gave so that we might, to this day, have the ideals and freedoms that we are slowly losing and giving away?

Have you ever thought of what it must’ve been like for them?  Giving their Lives, their Fortunes, and their Sacred Honor?

I’m reminded of an essay by Sarah Rumpf from July 4, 2012 that I’d like to quote here:

Two hundred and thirty six years ago, a brave group of patriots signed their names to a document that would change the course of human history.

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These fifty-six men publicly declared their commitment to the “self-evident truths” that formed the foundation of our nation and which have continued to serve as a beacon of hope for all people around the world who have ever yearned to be free.

The final sentence of the Declaration of Independence is a promise among the signers, to “mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our Sacred Honor,” and many of them and their fellow patriots did in fact sacrifice their lives and fortunes in service to our country. No loss of life or money could ever diminish the honor of these heroes, and it is that honor that we celebrate today.

Over two centuries ago, fifty-six men put their lives on the line to preserve and protect the freedoms that are the God-given unalienable rights of all free people.

Today, as I think back about the incredible amount of courage it must have taken to publicly sign their names to this document, I cannot help but think that the best way to honor this courage is for each of us to consider making a similar personal pledge to our fellow Americans.

This is not a year to sit on the sidelines, not a year to watch from the bench. “The most important election of our lifetimes” may start to sound like a cliché but it increasingly seems to be true.

What can you do that will help ensure that these freedoms continue to be part of the American legacy? Can you volunteer a Saturday afternoon to knock on doors for a candidate? Can you take an evening to attend a candidates’ debate so you can be certain you are an informed voter? Can you help register new voters in your county? Can you write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper? Can you donate $5, $10, or $20 to candidates who you support?

I think we can do all these things, and more. No, let me say it this way: I think we must do these things. I hope you agree.

May God continue to bless our great nation, and to bless you and your families as well. A very Happy Independence Day to all of you.

After a momentary pause to suck down half of his remaining bucket of Peachcombers he continues briefly with his words being slightly slurred-

And now back to the hedonism and debauchery err… that is frolic and revelry! Bring on the fireworks round 2!

Walt Disney World 4th of July Fireworks 2015

 

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Leprechaun Laughs # 347 for Wednesday June 28th 2016

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This is one of those times of the year when I get homesick for Connecticut. That is Mountain Laurel, the state flower of Connecticut you see there growing in back of my Connecticut home. Mountain Laurel grows wild in the Northwest Hill of Connecticut  abundantly protected by all kinds of state laws. You’re not supposed to remove it from where it grows if its on your property without permission and it’s illegal to dig it up in the wild and transplant it elsewhere. Many State Parks have scenic vista overlooking it and viewing it is not unlike fall foliage viewing. Some consider it a nuisance I think its pretty and used to watch for it every year.

It seems some Miracle Grow ‘’”accidentally” got spilled in and around it last fall and my sister was kind enough to send me this photo of the happy results of the accident when I mentioned missing it during our conversation over the weekend.

Moving on, before we get going I have one housekeeping note:

Saturday’s issue will be our annual Independence Day Special Edition. Which means in short you’ll be seeing my semi scowling, over worked , underpaid and(likely) under caffeinated face again of Saturday. Impish therefore will be showing his scaly hide here on Wednesday and in his regular slot the following Saturday. I’ll return to my regular slot with the Wednesday July 13th issue.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have an Independence Day issue to complete and my low coffee level light is blinking in the corner of my eye. See you all on Saturday, unless that is you’re a Patron Reader.  In that case I’ll see you over at our Guest facilities Friday night when you avail yourself of your early check in for our Independence Day Weekend Celebration.

Let's Roll 28

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The best part of waking up~

Is I don’t kill you if there’s coffee in my cup!

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Trust his advice on this folks- When it comes to being weird he’s not only an expert at it but a professional weird too.

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doing it right

Florida boy asks to pray with police officers after eating breakfast.

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A young diner in St. Petersburg, Fla. asked a group of police officers to pray with him after enjoying breakfast with his mother on Monday.

Kelly Garza told Fox 13 that she and her 6-year-old son Joshua stopped into a Bob Evans—her son’s favorite restaurant— to eat breakfast after his morning swim lessons. Her son saw the store’s manager’s shaking hands with a policeman while thanking him for his service.

Garza says her son then wanted to offer an original ‘thank you’ to the law enforcement officials.

“He likes to pray at church, he’s a big prayer warrior,” Garza told Fox 13.

Before leaving the restaurant, Garza says her son approached the officers, who had just gotten their meals, and asked if they could all pray together for their safety.

As they prayed, Garza snapped a photo of Joshua sitting at the table holding hands with the police officers, all bowing their heads in prayer. Garza says her son finished the prayer with, “And please help us all to live a good life. Amen.”

The Facebook group America Going Blue, a network of U.S. policemen and  first responders, shared the photo on Tuesday. 

Garza says her son has had a difficult time since learning about the massacre in Orlando that left 49 dead inside a downtown nightclub. Joshua asked members of his church to pray for the victims’ families.

“He knows what’s going on in the world, and he doesn’t like it,” she said.

But after his prayer with the policemen on Monday, Garza said there wasn’t a dry eye in the restaurant.

ATTABOY JOSH!

You’re doing it right and don’t ever let anybody tell you different!

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I’ll bet NATGEO would swamp the ratings game if they reprogramed like this!

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LL PSA Banner

Actually we have two of them today, both very important.

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Paul B, whom we have apparently hired to be a post publication fact checker here at DL/LL Media Enterprises, has brought to my attention a little error I made a couple issues back.

In issue # 344 during my repeated attempted drownings by Mother Nature I published the  photo below. As you can see it’s very official and quite authentic looking. If you add in the sheer number of places that were legitimately flooding I don’t think it’s really a surprise I took it for gospel.

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The problem is because I was in a hurry to get the issue up and out before something flooded or the power took one of its all too frequent vacations on me that I violated my rule of obtaining at least two independent sources of confirmation minimum for anything news-like. Part of the reason I did this is that I was the original source for the picture and had obtained it from a previously trusted a s factual source of material.

HUGE. HONKING. GREVIOUS. ERROR. On my part, as Paul pointed out, by sending me a link to this article:

No, the Noah’s Ark theme park wasn’t destroyed in a flash flood

Ark Encounter, a Noah’s Ark-themed theme park under construction in Kentucky was not destroyed in a flash flood.

A fake news report from satire website The Good Lord Above made its rounds on social media this week. 

Internet rumor and folklore website Snopes.com confirmed the report was false. A tweet from “God” (@thegoodgodabove) on April 18 gave a tease to the fake story, tweeting “I should destroy that Noah’s Ark Theme Park in a Flood.”

The satire piece said the flash flood only affected the theme park, with a quote from a meteorologist saying the flood was an “act of God.

Read the remainder of the article here: http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-noahs-ark-theme-park-not-destroyed-story.html

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Couple of New Books for Women

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A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.

The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket. He says to the Jew, “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t see anything.”

The Jew says to the Arab, “That’s the typical dishonesty of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.”

Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and  eats that,  too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and  asks, “What did you do with the pastries?”

The Jew  replies, “Look in the Arab’s  pocket…..”

This magic trick works with Leprechauns and Dragons too!

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I’m going to try and get into Impish’s format again this week while continuing with the subject matter of the Orlando shooting and liberals gun control I started with last week. This despite the fact I took a heavy hit in my stars and many of the usual ‘good issue’ commenters were apparently silent (apparently) due to the return of the Parting Shot commentary. Last week I got Impish’s dragon blood boiling (a pretty hard feat when you consider he breaths fire). I’m better this week will see it turn to live steam and fly out his ears, hopefully making a steam train whistling sound.

Most of what you see presented from the different articles has been truncated in an attempt for brevity while retaining the salient high points by me. In some cases in order for this to make sense and/or to achieve better flow paragraphs with in an article have been posted in a different sequence from the original article. This has done nothing to alter their meaning or to allow them to be taken out of their original intended context. you can view the original articles by clicking the corresponding hyper link at any time. All hype links were working at the time I wrote this, if they are not when you are reading it this is not my fault so don’t complain to me but rather please exercise your fingers with your friend Google and locate the article[s] for yourself.

Does a known or suspected terrorist face ‘a long waiting period’ before buying a gun?

“It’s already the law right now. If someone is known or suspected as a terrorist, they cannot just walk in and buy a firearm. They have a long waiting period that actually kicks in that the system itself will kick them out. The FBI is pinged on that, and they get some options to be able to deal with it. So it is already current law. So there’s a lot of pushback to say all these known terrorists can just walk in and buy a gun at a gun store. That is not correct. They are already held back and already cannot walk in and buy a gun in a gun store right now.”  –Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.), interview on CNN’s “Situation Room,” June 16, 2016

The Orlando shooter was on the watch list in 2013 and 2014, but was removed from the list after FBI investigators closed their investigation.

Lankford’s staff said he was referring to existing FBI involvement in gun purchases, through which the FBI is flagged if someone on the Terrorist Watch list is notified. Indeed, the FBI is notified if a person on a watch list tries to buy a gun, if the person’s name is listed on a list called the Known or Appropriately Suspected Terrorist file (a subset of the larger consolidated list, according to the FBI).

With instant background checks, a person with a clean record in theory could walk into a gun store and be approved within minutes. However, if the person is on the suspected terrorist file, the FBI can delay the purchase for up to three days. According to a May 2013 Congressional Research Service report, the FBI has 72 hours to respond to the federally licensed dealer as to whether they can proceed with the sale.

Sen. Diane Feinstein’s (D-Calif.) legislation would give authority to the attorney general to decide whether or not a suspected terrorist could buy a gun. Anyone who was subjected to a federal terrorism investigation within five years of the attempted gun purchase would be flagged in the background check system, and the Justice Department would be able to review those cases. Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) proposed similar changes, but required a three-day waiting period for law enforcement to conduct an investigation.

On June 16, the Justice Department released a statement in support of the Feinstein amendment, saying it would give the department “an important additional tool to prevent the sale of guns to suspected terrorists by licensed firearms dealers while ensuring protection of the department’s operational and investigative sensitivities.”

It’s important to note that the Department of Justice proposed similar legislative language in 2007 during the George W. Bush administration. According to the Government Accountability Office, that proposal to Congress would have provided the attorney general with “discretionary authority to deny the transfer of firearms or explosives to known or suspected ‘dangerous terrorists.’” Supporters of this bill called it the “Terror Gap” propos

Terror Gap props as they are called above are all well and good, another example of the preverbal blind dog finding a bone in that something Feinstein has proposed actually make good and common sense. However the bill Ii n any form current proposed is meaningless because its toothless. I’m not talking it lacking a punishment, those are easy to install or see the charges which would result in punishment as a result of the attempted purchase. NO I’m talking about the fact that the Liberals are shredding the records of these terrorist investigations and watch list removals as fast as they happen to avoid being labeled profilers, bigots, racists or Muslim haters. No data/records for at least five years and all the legislation in the world is meaningless window dressing circular logic by the Democrats.

 House Democrats’ Gun-Control Sit-In Turns Into Chaotic Showdown With Republicans

A Democratic protest demanding votes on gun-control legislation led to pandemonium in the House chamber that did not end until early Thursday, when Speaker Paul D. Ryan and his fellow Republicans reclaimed control long enough to force through a major spending bill. They then abruptly adjourned and left the Capitol.

The standoff, which began with a Democratic sit-in on the House floor just before noon on Wednesday, did not end until about 3 a.m. Thursday when Mr. Ryan — barreling over Democrats’ objections — took the rare and provocative step of calling a vote on a major appropriations bill in the wee hours and without any debate. He then adjourned the House, with no legislative votes scheduled until July 5.

Furious Democrats remained on the House floor, where they huddled around their leader, Representative Nancy Pelosi of California, who praised their stand as a “discussion heard around the world.”

Ms. Pelosi expressed bewilderment at the Republican position. “What could they be thinking?” she asked. “Whatever it is, they don’t want to tell anybody about it. That’s why they left in the dead of night.”

Mrs. Pelosi with her head ever in a California smog cloud missed the entire Republican message despite it being as clear as the wrinkles on her cadaverous face. Namely that the Republicans refuse to be held hostage by the liberals childish antics and temper tantrums over not getting their way. It’s as simple as that. If Mrs. Pelosi cannot come away with that clear and simple message, then she is either too old, too senile, or too obtuse to continue to serve in Congress as I see it.

Democrats — who do not have enough strength in either the House or Senate to pass legislation on their own — have resorted to spectacle to highlight their anger over Congress not taking action to tighten the nation’s gun-control laws.

Ms. Pelosi arrived on the floor with an air of calm, surveying her rank and file’s protest as it gathered steam. Mr. Ryan, in an interview on CNN, dismissed the sit-in as a publicity stunt.

The Democrats began their latest push, including a 15-hour filibuster last week by Senator Christopher S. Murphy, Democrat of Connecticut, after the June 12 massacre at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Fla.

They have repeatedly accused Republicans of siding with the National Rifle Association rather than with the victims of gun violence.

Again I’d refer you back to my statement last week that if 1 or 2 liberals in that gay bar had been armed the outcome would have been very likely extremely different. I thinks so the Republicans think so and the NRA I’m sure thinks so

Democrats create havoc on House floor over gun control legislation

Democratic lawmakers on Thursday ended a daylong protest in the U.S. House of Representatives to protest the lack of action on gun control and Congress looked unlikely to approve meaningful firearms restrictions in the wake of the Orlando, Florida, massacre.

As the protest ended, the chances of gun legislation immediately after Orlando appeared to be worsening.

In the Senate, Republicans aimed to vote on Thursday on whether to derail bipartisan compromise gun control legislation that has been under negotiation for several days, Republican Senator Bob Corker told reporters.

In other words, Pelosi’s dramatic temper tantrum tactic actually hurt their chances of getting any meaningful legislation passed. Why?  They want obfuscate the fact that they cannot that their true agenda is not preventing terrorists from getting guns but is in fact preventing anyone from getting a gun to aid in this cloud of deception they will blow smoke at the American people and attempt to make it appear that it is in fact the Republicans that are the problem and not their inflexible, unconstitutional pie in the sky dream.

 Democrats end gun control sit-in after 25½ hours, say succeeded despite not voting

House Democrats have ended their 25½-hour sit-in on the chamber’s floor that they’ve been staging to demand votes on gun control.

With just a few interruptions, Democrats commanded the House floor since 11:30 a.m. Wednesday. The protest was broadcast live to the world over social media.

There are no indications that Republicans — who control the House — have met the Democrats’ demands.

Still, Democrats are declaring victory anyway.

One of the protest leaders, civil rights veteran and Georgia lawmaker John Lewis of Georgia, says: “We are going to win this struggle.”

Life on the Pelosi Crazy Train must be nice, when reality clashes with your circular illogical ideology just climb aboard the Fantasyland Express and declare yourself the victory despite only having broken House rules and made your self look like the Democratic Congressional Party is made up of people permanently going through the terrible threes

The Senate voted on 4 popular gun control proposals Monday. Here’s why none of them passed.

Update: A new poll from CNN shows 92 percent of Americans support expanded background checks and 85 percent support preventing those on terror watch lists from buying guns. As we’ll explain in the post below, though, none of the below proposals aimed at these things are likely to pass.

Update No. 2: All four measures, as expected, failed.

One filibuster, two gun control proposals, four party-line votes, zero compromises, lots of finger pointing.

That’s what we can expect Monday evening as the U.S. Senate votes on four different gun control amendments — two offered by Republicans, two by Democrats — a week after the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history.

We can confidently predict all four of these votes will go nowhere because the Senate took almost the exact same votes in December after the San Bernardino, Calif., attacks. Those votes largely fell — and failed — along party lines, with Republicans supporting looser versions of gun control proposals and Democrats supporting stricter versions.

Here’s a step-by-step guide on what Monday’s gun control vote.  They’ll be proposed as amendments to a larger spending bill for the Commerce and Justice departments.

All four amendments will need 60 votes to be included in the package, which will also need to gain final approval. But given the partisan makeup of the Senate (54 Republican, 46 Democrat), and how the gun debate tends to fall neatly along partisan lines, we don’t expect any of the proposals to advance.

You can follow the link to see what the specific amendment were and what their impact had they passed would have been.

Some potential areas of compromise

Believe it or not, there are some opportunities — however small — for Congress to move forward on gun control legislation in the wake of Orlando.

There are negotiations going on behind the scenes to try to merge Democrats’ and Republicans’ terrorist watch list proposals. As The Washington Post’s Karoun Demirjian reports, Collins (R-Maine) is working on something that Democrats haven’t dismissed outright.

She wants to prevent people on two of the FBI’s terrorist watch lists (it’s unclear exactly many lists there are for perhaps obvious reasons) from buying guns: the no-fly list and the selectee list.

Both lists deal with a person’s rights at the airport. If you’re on the no-fly list, you can’t board an airplane. If you’re on the selectee list, you get extra security screening when you try to board a plane. Mateen was on the selectee list for a time. And under Collins’s proposal, if you are on these lists and are denied your right to buy a gun, you can challenge it, and if you win, the government has to pay your legal costs.

Again, her proposals are not exactly what Democrats want (they don’t like the idea of working with just these two terrorist watch lists) or what Republicans want (they don’t like the idea of banning a person from buying a gun first, then offering legal recourse later). But that’s the essence of a compromise, and right now it looks like the only one the Senate’s got.

The Republicans fear any additional gun control laws as the edge of the preverbal slippery slope to a complete gun possession ban. Democrats are only will to play ball if its played with their ball, they get to make up the rules and then throw temper tantrums followed b y declaring that they in fact won just prior to taking their ball and going home mad that Republicans won’t drink their Kool-Aid of illogic. Mean while more people are likely to die at the hands of terrorists and other insane shooters while partisan politics, big money and small narrow minds with wide open mouths and full depends prevent any shot at meaningful, practical compromise.

In short everyone wants the sausage everyone is sold on the idea of the sausage but no body can agree on the ingredients for the sausage and both want to be the one who solely make the sausage.

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Shenanigator

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A Plea for help

Okay, I told you guys about the problems that the Whelpling and his family are having and I’m not going to sit here and beg you to donate.  I’m just posting the “Fund Me” type site that his dear wife has set up and I’m asking any of you who might belong to any other sites to please copy and paste this link and post it anywhere you can.

Thank you dear campers.

https://gogetfunding.com/family-in-need-21/#.V22KQ_Oyf6I.facebook

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