Today is Monday…Labor Day…and I am Laborishly (I just made that word up) working away at bringing you yet another issue of your favorite ezine since I will be QUITE the busy dragon this week. It is not only the UTA week, which has all the things associated with it, but I am loaded down with meetings and classes this week, plus I have to take Thursday off for a special…hush-hush…secret project that you may or may not hear about after it is over with. We’ll have to see how it all pans out.

IN THE MEAN TIME …

We are STILL getting donations and I can’t thank you all enough, it is truly wonderful thing. August is officially over, but I won’t turn down anymore donations…every single little donation helps, that is for absolute certainty.

We are now up to 28 and if you’d like to see your name up in print than all you have to do is send in a donation as well (and if you don’t want to see your name, than please tell me so and I won’t put your name up here I won’t even put anonymous or friend of the show or anything if you don’t want me to) ANYWAY, I’m rambling, here’s our 28 wonderful folks:

 Pop, Steven, Chris, Michael, Catherine, Donald, Stephen, Kristine, Leah, Edmund, Sammye, Kenny, Jonathon, Ted, Robert, Kenneth, Marian, Dale, Joseph, Annmarie, Alan, Chuck, Joseph, Scott, Kevin, Dan, Wayne, and Lynn!

Thank you all so very much! Special thanks and praise, prayers and blessings out to all of you guys (and to all the readers). You all are the best.

Now, not to rush things, but places to go, things to do, villages to raze … so …

Aussie Pete is trying to teach us all how to speak Aussie ….

It is truly a marketing idea WAY past its time!

A local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a virus.

One evening my brother came home exhausted from a long day at work.

“Did you read the paper?” he asked.

“I’m not going in to work tomorrow.  I’m calling in fat.”

31 Facts About Crime and Law to Yell in Court to Prove Your Innocence

Did you know that the sunflower hides an amazing mathematical secret?

The sunflower is not just a beautiful flower; its seeds follow the Fibonacci spiral, a precise mathematical pattern that helps it grow with amazing efficiency!

This flower arranges its seeds according to the Fibonacci sequence, giving it the best possible distribution of space within the disc and allowing it to produce the largest number of seeds without overcrowding. This clever arrangement ensures optimal absorption of light and nutrients, making it one of the most efficient plants in nature!

But it’s not limited to plants!

In a spiral, its shell grows in a spiral shape that gradually expands at the same Fibonacci ratio, giving it strength and a solid structure.

In galaxies and planets, some spiral galaxies follow the same ratio in the arrangement of their arms, while this pattern also appears in the orbits of some planets and moons, reflecting a harmonious mathematical system in the universe.

As opposed to????

After ICE Arrest, Owner of Trump Burger Faces Deportation

Lebanese immigrant Roland Beainy was arrested by ICE in May and could be deported this fall

Some won’t get that one, either.

This is SO cool!  Thanks Lynn!!

Differences Between the Sexes

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate. and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah. 

If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Turkey.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave, and John will each throw in $20, even though the tab is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. 

When the girls get their bill, out come the calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. 

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. 

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. 

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. 

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. 

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children.

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

FINAL THOUGHT

A married man just forgets about his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Tune-up with Sydney

Right?!

Well…above and beyond that the whole concept is wrong! We did not evolve from anything!

There are only two things in the world that a child will willingly share…
A communicable diseases and mom’s age.

“Deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.”
– J.R.R. Tolkien

Teacher: “What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is striped and the other is plain red.” 

Johnny: “Yes, it is very strange. I have another pair at home exactly the same.”

---

Where do mansplainers get their water?
From a “well actually.”

And that’s it my friends. Keep me in your prayers this weekend, it’s gonna be one for the books! 

I know for you guys it’s Thursday, but for me…last Saturday. And yes, I’m trying to get ahead again because this weekend is the UTA again and I’ll be working.

Got to spend the day with my son, the Whelpling, that was a lot of fun.

Okay, I’m gonna keep  doing this as long as you guys keep donating. 

We are up to 27 now! And they are:

Pop, Steven, Chris, Michael, Catherine, Donald, Stephen, Kristine, Leah, Edmund, Sammye, Kenny, Jonathon, Ted, Robert, Kenneth, Marian, Dale, Joseph, Annmarie, Alan, Chuck, Joseph, Scott, Kevin, Dan, and Wayne.

Last time…donate at the website (dragonlaffs.com) in the upper righthand corner is the donate button, that’s through PayPal, you don’t have to have a PayPal account to do that. Or write to me at impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com and I’ll give you the snail-mail address or the Zelle email (which is NOT impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com!!!!).  Those are the three ways to donate that we’ve figured out so far. There might be others…haven’t worked that out yet.

Okay, on to the show!

Yes…it’s an old joke, but it’s still funny…

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?”

“Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?”

“Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble”

“I’d be happy to,” said the blonde. So, the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded,  “I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!”

“Yes, I know you did,” said the blonde.  “But we had money left over so now we’re going to Sea World.”

The physician was taking her four-year old daughter to pre-school. The doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought the doctor, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
 
Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s – May I take your order?”

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington USA appeared to be the robber’s first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms, A gun shop specializing in handguns.

2. The shop was full of customers – firearms customers.

3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.

4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired, The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics.

Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire.

So true.

Incredible Dragon House: Design Inspirations & Building Challenges

That one was from Lynn!

Very good advice, actually.

Every time I go on vacation my wife gets pregnant…This year I’m taking her with me!

A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were. 

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“…Which bus would I take home?”

If You’re a Bear

(Me thinks written by a woman)

If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate.  You do nothing but sleep for six months. 
I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that too.

If you’re a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.  If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.  I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup……I want to be a bear!

Goldie Cohen, an elderly Jewish lady from New York, goes to her travel agent. “I vont to go to India.”

“Mrs. Cohen, why India? It’s filthy, much hotter than New York, it’s full of poor, dirty people.”

“I vont to go to India.”

“But it’s a long journey, and those trains, how will you manage? What will  you eat? The food is too hot and spicy for you. You can’t drink the water. You must not eat fresh fruit and vegetables. You’ll get sick: the plague, hepatitis, cholera, typhoid, malaria, God only knows. What will you do? Can you imagine the hospital, no Jewish doctors? Why torture yourself?”

“I vont to go to India.”

The necessary arrangements are made, and off she goes. She arrives in India  and, undeterred by the noise, smell and crowds, makes her way to an ashram.

There she joins the seemingly never-ending line of people waiting for an audience with the guru. An aide tells her that it will take at least three days of standing in line to see the guru.

“Dotz OK.”

Eventually she reaches the hallowed portals. There she is told firmly that due to the long lines she can only say SIX words to the guru.

“Fine.”

She is ushered into the inner sanctum where the wise guru is seated, ready to bestow spiritual blessings upon his eager initiates. Just before she reaches the holy of holiest she is once again reminded:

“Remember, just SIX words.”

Unlike the other devotees, she does not prostrate at his feet. She stands directly in front of him, crosses her arms over her chest, fixes her gaze on his, and says:

“Sheldon, It’s your mother. Come home.”

Well…..almost!

That’s a chart I got while studying Revelation. It’s quite interesting.

The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern.

“Paddy,” he said, ” I’m afraid I’ll not be seeing you in Heaven one day.”

“Really, Father?” slurred Paddy. “What have you done?”

And that’s it my friends. Until next time, may God Bless you and keep you, and bring you love and happiness.

Happy Labor Day!

So, what is Labor Day? Well, if you go to the Dept. of Labor’s website, they have this to say:

Observed the first Monday in September, Labor Day is an annual celebration of the social and economic achievements of American workers. The holiday is rooted in the late nineteenth century, when labor activists pushed for a federal holiday to recognize the many contributions workers have made to America’s strength, prosperity, and well-being.

And it goes downhill from there. I think it started out well enough, but nowadays it’s just a holiday to celebrate the end of summer.

Yeah, like that. I don’t include anymore from the Dept of Labor’s website because all they talk about is how the holiday was enacted and what states did it first, second, etc. But here are some pictures from the site:

That’s it. I’ll intersperse some cartoons throughout the issue as I normally do, but honestly, I don’t have much else, so without further ado…

True hospitality is making your guests feel like they ARE at home…… all the while you really wish they WERE at home!

It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on. All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled. One man, popping his head out of his cubicle, said, “Oh, man! Someone’s deodorant isn’t working.”  A man in the  corner replied, “It can’t be me. I’m not wearing any.”

I LOVE IT!!!!

What do you call a cow that flies?
High steaks.
But if it sinks, it’s just ground beef.

What’s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon?
One lasts for eight nights, the other sometimes ate knights.

Our dear Stephanie sent this one to me because she says she’s from this neck of the woods and says that her Mayor ought to sue for defamation of Hattiesburg!

My aunt is a church official who organizes parishioners’ personal information.
Her job title is Nun of Your Business.

I’m looking to sell my DeLorean…
Good shape, low mileage…
Only driven from time to time!

A woman went on a tour of the White House. As the guide led her down one of the historic halls, a door burst open and a large aquatic sea mammal, balancing a beach ball on its nose, scurried past. 

“My, what was that?” exclaimed the woman. 

“Oh, that’s just the Presidential Seal,” replied the guide.

If this next one is true, it’s absolutely hilarious!!! 

My aunt’s neighbor in New York had a beautiful black cat, named Felix, who spent his days outside and came indoors at night. 

One cool October evening, he disappeared. The neighbor searched for him in vain for several days.

The following spring, however, Felix reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he’s been out sowing his wild oats.

Everything was back to normal until that autumn, when Felix disappeared again.

The next spring, he returned. Perplexed, my aunt’s friend began asking neighbors for clues.

Finally, she rang the bell of an older couple who lived down the street. “A black cat?” the woman said. “Oh, yes! My husband and I hated to see him out in the cold, so we bought a cat carrier. We take him to Florida with us every winter.”

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful!” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The guy was your doctor….”

A lawyer, sitting next to blonde on a long flight, was pestering her to play a game. ‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa.’

The blonde politely declined and tried to get some sleep. The lawyer made another offer: ‘Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, but if I don’t know the answer,  I will pay you $1000’

The blonde agreed. The lawyer asked the first question. ‘What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?’

The blonde silently reached into her purse, pulled out a five-dollar bill, and handed it to the lawyer.

Then she asked the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’ And went back to sleep.

The lawyer did research on his iPhone, called his buddies etc., all to no avail. After over an hour, he gave up. He woke the blonde up and handed her $1000 and asked ‘Well, so what is the answer?’

Again, without a word, the blonde reached into her purse, handed the lawyer $5, and went back to sleep.

And that’s it my friends.  I hope you enjoyed this issue and May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again.

A great image for a Saturday morning, right? A relaxing Labor Day weekend. Technically, Monday is Labor Day and I’ll do something for Labor Day in my next issue, I think. If I remember to. But the Labor Day weekend is usually the last weekend of the summer to relax, do the last big barbeque, the last get-together with friends and family, the last campouts, … but don’t forget about your friends that don’t have family to celebrate with anymore. Remember them this weekend. Reach out to those that are sitting at home, by themselves with just their memories. They need your love and caring also.

Since I said I was not going to ask for any more donations … more donations have poured in, so we’ll keep going through the weekend. Here’s what our banner looks like now:  

That’s right, you count 26 up there now! That is 

And here you all are:

Pop, Steven, Chris, Michael, Catherine, Donald, Stephen, Kristine, Leah, Edmund, Sammye, Kenny, Jonathon, Ted, Robert, Kenneth, Marian, Dale, Joseph, Annmarie, Alan, Chuck, Joseph, Scott, Kevin, and Dan.

Just wow guys!  Thank you all ever so much. My heart has swelled three sizes or whatever it was that happened to the Grinch. 

On another topic, I have been inundated lately with spam phone calls and text messages. Everything from Medicare, tollbooth, apple wallet scams, ALL KINDS of stuff. More than I can even remember. They all seem to know my name, which is not hard to find to connect to my phone number, but I’ll bet I get at least half a dozen a day. Are the rest of you guys going through the same thing? 

I have to answer numbers I don’t recognize due to my job, which means that all the scam callers know they’ve reached an active number, which makes it worse. I never engage, I’m never rude, but I AM annoyed.

Okay, done venting. 

And ALWAYS remember that God has your back!!!

Just as I arrived home after working the night shift, my wife told me to go checkout our five-year-old son’s bed.  When I entered Jimmie’s room, I saw that his bed had collapsed, and the mattress was sitting on the floor. 

“What happened?” I asked him. 

He responded, “God did it.” 

Interesting, I thought, and went back to tell my wife. 

Laughing she said that when she had heard the crash, she ran into Jimmie’s room, saying, “Oh God, what have you done now?”

Me thinks a bunch won’t get this one.

Thought Of The Day:

Not Everything

“Not everything that is faced can be changed.

But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

– Jodi Picoult

I thought my new girlfriend might be the one…But when I went through her drawers and found a nurse’s uniform, a French maid’s outfit, and a policewoman’s uniform, I changed my mind. I figure if she can’t hold on to a job, she’s not the one for me.

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.

Thanks Aussie Pete!

Chris:  How was your trip to New York?
 
Brian:  Well, a mugger stopped me and said, “Gimme your money, or I’ll blow your brains out.”
 
Chris:  What did you do?
 
Brian: I told him to go ahead and shoot. He was so shocked, he ran away.
 
Chris: Wow!  He told you to give him your money or he’d blow your brains out, and you told him to go ahead and shoot??
 
Brian: Yeah. You don’t need brains to live in New York, but you can’t get along without money.

Leah, having heard that I was now counting carbs and watching what I ate, in the spirit of unity, sent me this, which is a WEEK’s ration for one adult during WWII.

All I can say is, Man! My A1C would look GREAT! And just for GeeWhiz information, after a couple of weeks of doing this, my “estimated” A1C has gone from an 8.5 to … (let me check) 6.7.  Sigh. So……….I guess it’s going well. Although my sweet tooth is KICKING MY BUTT!!!! LOL!

Dedicated to my brother, Ken.

An old Native American man needed to borrow $500, so he went to the local bank and asked to speak to the Loans Officer.
The banker welcomed him and began filling out a loan application.
Banker: “What are you going to do with the money?”
Old man: “Buy silver, make jewelry, then sell it.”
Banker: “And what do you have for collateral?”
Old man: “I don’t know what collateral is.”
The banker explained, “Collateral is something valuable we hold in case you can’t pay back the loan. Do you have any vehicles?”
Old man: “Yes, a 1979 Chevy pickup.”
Banker: “That won’t work. How about livestock?”
Old man: “I have a horse.”
Banker: “How old is the horse?”
Old man: “Don’t know… it has no teeth.”

After several more questions, the banker decided to approve the loan.

A few weeks later, the old man returned, pulled out a roll of $100 bills, and handed the banker $500.
Banker: “Business must be good! What are you going to do with the rest of the money?”
Old man: “Keep it close to me.”
Banker: “Why don’t you deposit it in the bank?”
Old man: “I don’t know what deposit is.”
The banker explained, “You put the money in our bank, we take care of it, and whenever you need it, you can take it out.”

The old man leaned across the desk, looked the banker in the eye, and asked:
“What do you have for collateral?”

That’s it for now my friends. May God Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again.

This is going to be an incredibly fast and possibly short issue. I have a limited amount of time, but will do the best I can.

First an update, because I MUST thank the donations! Especially since we are still in August.

Here they all are:

Pop, Steven, Chris, Michael, Catherine, Donald, Stephen, Kristine, Leah, Edmund, Sammye, Kenny, Jonathon, Ted, Robert, Kenneth, Marian, Dale, Joseph, Annmarie, Alan, and Chuck…and just now, Joseph (different Joseph)…just now.

And now it’s hours later and I’ve opened the issue back up, because I’ve just gotten another donation and not to leave anyone out, I’m going to add another one in here after hours. I know you guys are reading this at the beginning of the issue, but trust me, this part came in Waaayyyy at the end, after it was all said and done, but since it hadn’t published yet, I opened it back up and want to add one more

Scott.

There you have it. Thank you to you all. If I could draw a big parenthesis around this section I would. LOL! 

I had to go back and change this. Didn’t change the banner, I’ll do that for next time because I’m in such a hurry. Thank you all so very, very much! You guys are marvelous! We did a great job again this year. Thank you, thank you, thank you

This one actually brought a tear to my eye! What a wonderful story.

Absolutely! No questions asked. If that criminal is inside your house, then it becomes their problem, not yours.

How appropriate. Was he in someone’s house when he shouldn’t have been?

I am definitely, without a single doubt, going to give the code to my phone to someone to do this!!!!

Did you hear about the cannibal who kept getting stomach aches? He went to the ‘good witch doctor’ who couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He gave the cannibal a medicine and sent him home.  The next day the cannibal came back to the witch doctor and complained of cramps and pains. The witch doctor asked him a bunch of questions and could not figure out what was wrong. As a last resort, the witch doctor asked the cannibal if he had eaten anything strange. The cannibal replied “No.”
“Well, what are you eating?” the witch doctor asked.  “The usual,” replied the cannibal, “You know just a couple of those Missionaries every now and then.”
“Missionaries?” replied the witch doctor. “Just how do you cook them?” he asked.
“The normal way” answered the cannibal as he described the technique. “I boil a lot of water in the big pot, add a little seasoning, a few herbs and vegetables” he further related.  Well, that sounded right to the witch doctor, so he pressed a little further. “So, describe these missionaries to me?” he asked. “Well,” replied the cannibal, “you know the ones, they wear those brown robes, wear those sandals on their feet, and they have that bald spot-on top of their head.” “THAT’S IT!” exclaimed the witch doctor, “That’s your problem! Those are friars… not boilers!!!”

Ain’t that the truth!

Why do hamburgers always win races?
Because they’re FAST FOOD!

Yeah, gonna make one that says: Dad Joke

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?”

“98,” she replied.  “Two years older than me.”

“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.

She responded,  “Hardly worth going home is it?”

Some will not get that one.

Today I scared the mailman by going to the door in my underwear.
I don’t know what scared him more, seeing me in my underwear or the fact that I knew where he lived.

So much truth in that, thank you Jonathon.

Little Timmy loved his dog Laddie very much; they played together every day and Laddie was always there to greet Timmy when he came home from school. 

One day, while Timmy was at school, Laddie crawled under the fence, ran out into the street, and was hit by a car and killed.

Timmy’s mother, naturally, was very distressed, not only by the matter itself but from wondering how she was going to explain this to Timmy.

As Timmy walked through the door a few moments later, his mother mustered up her courage to speak to him.  “Son, I have bad news. Laddie is dead.”

Timmy paused thoughtfully for a moment, shrugged, then said, “So, what’s for lunch, Ma? I’m starved.” 

“My, what a brave little boy you are!” his mother replies with relief.  “You’re certainly taking Laddie’s death well.”

Upon hearing this, Timmy suddenly bursts into tears, his body racking with sobs, and says, “I thought you said Daddy.”

I think I’m going to stop recommending this by saying how funny they are. I think I’m just going to do this…

Click HERE

I love this thing!

When I was at the gym yesterday, everyone kept asking me why I was always sitting still on the stationary bike.
I’m going downhill, dude, mind your own business.

You have no idea how many times I’ve printed this out on card stock and passed this out in the jail, and at my other ministries.

When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table. Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved his life.

As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services. “Just name the fee,” he croaked gratefully.

“Okay,” replied the doctor. “How about half of what you’d have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?”

“Get this.” said Sam to his friends, “Last night, while I was down at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.

“Did he get anything?” Greg asked.

Sam said, “Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs.”

Greg wondered, “Whoa! But… how???”

Sam replied, “Well, it was really late at night and Anni thought it was *me* coming home drunk!

We did it! Congratulations all around! And with 4 minutes to spare. So, until next time, may you all be blessed by our dear Father in Heaven with Peace and Prosperity, Love and Happiness, Comfort and Health until we meet again.